~ Recovery ~
by Adrienne Ryder
Adrienne sighed as she unlaced her thick boots and pulled them off her tired feet. She had already dropped her duty belt the second she had unlocked her front door. Her overgrown German Shepherd had greeted her, frantically trying to hold his bladder as she had let him out. "Sorry Hunter, bad day. Go play buddy." she called out after him. She felt like the worst pet owner in the world. Unfortunately today's 17 hours of work was not all that unusual for the 39 year old police officer.
"What a fucked up day," she thought wearily. A 19 year old male had overdosed on heroin around 0400. His brother had found his body around 0700. The typical cluster of burglaries and car thefts had been discovered late morning before the Medical Examiner could even take away the 19 year old. His family continued to vehemently deny their son had a drug problem. Then the messy suicide by the unemployed accountant, who had stepped in front of a moving train. Adrienne was quite sure she still had intestines in the tread of her boots, which she usually left in the garage anyway.
She watched her dog run around her large yard as he chased squirrels. She absent mindedly wondered if her dog would leave her too. Her girlfriend of nearly three years had recently and quite unexpectantly broke things off. Micayla, or Mica as she preferred had said Adrienne worked too much and she felt alone. Adrienne's argument had been for the couple to move in together thus allowing Adrienne to work only one job, instead of the three she often juggled. Adrienne felt a rush of sadness and pure pain overwhelming her again. Every time she thought she was ok at least numb she became an emotional mess. 'At least I'm alive' she told herself and she thought about the cold bodies she had investigated earlier. 'Oh to have Mica rubbing my shoulders right now' was another thought.
Mica had been her everything. After several long term relationships that ended badly-as if they ever ended well-Adrienne had thought she had found her soul in Mica. Mica had been so into her the first almost three years then bam! Out of nowhere it seemed everything changed. Although it never comes out of nowhere does it? Adrienne mused. It also takes two to make or break it.
Adrienne became lost in her thoughts remembering Mica. They had enjoyed doing everything together at first. They had been so compatible and the envy of all their friends. Mica had seemed so happy. She had helped Adrienne open up and run her small exotic animal health clinic, The Royal Python. They had been true partners in every sense it seemed.
Well they hadn't made the step to move in together, both women being fiercely independent prior to meeting each other.
Adrienne had always enjoyed time alone, prior to meeting Mica. She had enjoyed traveling by herself and reveled in the peace and quiet of a good solo road trip.
Now though she felt profoundly lonely. And oh how she missed Mica's touch. Her hand caressing her face, her cheeks brushing her cheeks, her lips on hers. Her fingers gliding in and out of her soft center, her nipples slipping across her clit enticing her to climax.
A soft sob emanated from her tired body. Adrienne suddenly realized she was almost 40 and quite alone once again. She would have to get used to the silence and solo trips once more. Yet all she could think about was Mica's laughter as they ran across the beach like kids. That was the summer, llast summer as a matter of fact that Adrienne had proposed to Mica. She had slipped the small platinum band on her finger as the sun set. A early evening storm had recently passed and left a rainbow streaking across the sky above the ocean. They had both thought it was a sign and professed forever to each other.
Adrienne straightened her strong shoulders and tried to resolve herself, even as the hot tears continued to spill from her dark blue eyes. She ran a hand in frustration through her short dark hair. She finished stripping out of her blue uniform, and showered quickly. As she lie in bed she could only see her lost love's face. Mica had super short spiky blonde hair and light blue eyes. Adrienne wished she was in her arms, talking about their days, and comforting each other like normal. Adrienne ran her hand down her large breasts, past her tight muscular abs and into her small apex of short curls. She started to touch her soft folds, however she felt even more alone at the thought of self pleasure. Slowly she drifted off as she watched the clouds pass the moonlight through her bedroom windows. She thought of the past, and how it would never bring her into the present.
In the morning, she promised herself, in the morning she would feel better. She would strive to move forward ever so slightly and toward recovery.