~ Finding Herself ~
by Alex Tryst
Copyright May 1998

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Disclaimers: These are original characters of mine, and this is the first lesbian story I ever finished. It is definitely not of the caliber of what I’ve been writing in the last year or so, but I thought it might be fun to post, so that my fans could see the evolution of my writing style. Needless to say this is about two women, who are finding themselves, and of course this wouldn’t be one of my books without sex, so there are sexual situations between two women as well as some with men, but that doesn’t last too long. Anyway, hope you enjoy it, and drop me a line if you’d like at alextryst@hotmail.com.

Dedication: To my wife, you are my fondest wish.

Now on with the show...................................................................................................................

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Part One

Chapter One

Snow was coming down on Massachusetts Avenue late that afternoon making it difficult for Reagan to maneuver her Jeep Cherokee in rush hour traffic on her way home from a busy day in court. She was checking her voice mail from her car phone as she passed her old alma mater, American University. She was faintly aware of cars stopping ahead of her, so she applied her brakes gently. However, she then looked down to her lap before feeling something hit her car with great force from behind. She looked over her shoulder to see the front end of a black sports car crumpled up into her bumper.

“Shit.” she mumbled. That’s all she needed. Reagan emerged from the driver’s side door and just looked at the sports car. She could see the driver slouched over the steering wheel. Concerned, Reagan immediately called for an ambulance before approaching the car.

Moments later the driver, Melanie Cantrell, a twenty-two year old college student, began to slowly raise her head. She moaned painfully. Reagan rapped on Melanie’s window with her knuckles getting her attention. Melanie open her door and slowly got out.

“Are you all right? Why don’t you sit down?” Reagan suggested seeing the gash above Melanie’s brow. Melanie sat back down in the car. As they began to exchange information, Reagan handed Melanie a business card.

She took it and read it mumbling, “Honorable Dr. Reagan Elizabeth Charleston. Shit.”

“Listen, Miss Cantrell, I’ve called an ambulance for you, because that gash looks pretty bad, and you were unconscious. However, if you could contact me tomorrow about the accident.” Melanie just nodded without a word as the ambulance arrived.

*************************

The following week Reagan had just gotten back to her office from court when her secretary knocked. “Your honor, you have an appointment in ten minutes. However, she’s early and asked if there was any way you’d see her now.”

“I don’t remember having an appointment. Who is it?”

“She called this morning, and I squeezed her in. Her name is Melanie Cantrell.”

“Oh, well, send her in please.” Reagan took some water out of her small refrigerator and went for two glasses as she turned toward her door. “Well, Miss Cantrell, how are you today? Feeling better?”

“Physically? Yes, thanks for asking.”

“Please sit. Would you like a drink?” Melanie shook her head as she took a seat. Reagan unzipped her robe before slipping it off of her shoulders. After hanging it, she sat behind her desk. “Well, to what do I owe this visit? We could’ve discussed things over the phone.”

“First of all, what shall I call you? Your honor?”

“That’s just courtroom formality. Judge Charleston or Dr. Charleston will be fine.”

“Okay, Judge Charleston.” she mumbled.

“Are you nervous, Miss Cantrell?”

“I’m afraid I am.”

“There’s really no need to be. I’m supposed to be intimidating for a reason. It’s to scare the juveniles that come into my courtroom, but as far as adults go, that’s not my department, so please, say what you feel you need to.”

“Okay. I say this fully understanding that you don’t have to agree to it. However, I truly am in a predicament.”

“Okay. Continue.”

“Well, that was my friend’s car, and I actually have no insurance.”

Reagan gave a displeased groan. “Did you get an estimate on your friend’s car?”

“Yes. It was $500.”

“Well, mine was $250, That makes $750 total that you’re in the hole. Is this the part where you tell me that you don’t have it?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Do you have a solution?”

“I can pay you in installments.” hesitantly Melanie answered.

“Miss Cantrell, what’s your major?”

“Political science and dance.”

“Do you have an interest in the Juvenile Justice Department?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, you may have noticed that my secretary is very pregnant. In fact she’s expecting in a month. I need a secretary for about two months while she’s on leave. Do you have any secretarial experience?”

“No.”

“Well, are you even interested in it?”

“Maybe. What are you thinking?”

“Since the government actually supplies my secretary, I can’t hire you. However, we could call it an internship. Given that you have no experience but the cost of living is high, I’ll pay you, say $7.00 an hour, but instead of paying you, I’ll just take it out of the $750.”

“Does this mean you’re fixing my friend’s car too?”

“Yeah. I’ll pay for it. There’s no reason that she should have to pay for your mistake too. What do you say? You put in twelve to thirteen hours a week here at my office for those two months.”

“That’s a more than generous offer, Judge Charleston. Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”

“Is this a deal? I need to know as soon as possible.”

“Yes, it’s a deal.”

Reagan stood and extended a hand to Melanie. Melanie stood as well and took Reagan’s hand, shaking it almost with relief. “Very well, Miss Cantrell. When your friend’s car is fixed, have the bill faxed over to me, and I will pay it. As for you, you start on Monday. Just call and let me know when you’ll be in.”

“Thank you, Judge Charleston. I will see you Monday.”

************************

On Monday afternoon Reagan came in from court around 2:00pm. When she opened the office door, Melanie was engaged in conversation with her secretary. “Hello, Miss Cantrell. I see you’ve met my temporary secretary. She will be taking care of everything but the phone. I want you to handle that. My appointment book is on her desk. If someone calls for an appointment, please schedule them in a blank space. My court dates are already in the book, and I’m here at the office the other times, so just schedule them accordingly. Now, if you will come with me, I want to stimulate your mind.”

They walked into Reagan’s office and sat as Reagan asked, “So, Miss Cantrell, what do you want out of life?”

“First of all, I want you to not call me Miss Cantrell anymore. I prefer to be called by my first name, Melanie.”

“Okay. Melanie, what do you want out of life?”

“That’s a loaded question, don’t you think?”

“Well, why don’t you tell me what your plans are after college then.”

“I don’t know. I guess I would like to pursue a dance career.”

“A dance career? I thought you said you are a poly-sci major.”

“Well, I am, but my other major is dance. I also have a minor in voice. My parents made me pick what they would call a real major. To them dancing and singing are not real career choices.”

Reagan nodded. “But they are your passions?”

“Very much so. To me singing and dancing make life worth while.”

“Well, sounds like you’re in the wrong field then.”

“Yeah, but since my parents pay for school, it’s hard to go against the grain. It’s hard to be myself when they expect so much.”

“I understand that feeling. My parents did the same thing when I was your age. Fortunately for me, they thought law school was a worth while venture. So, what kind of dancer are you? Modern? Ballet? What?”

“Oh, I’m trained in ballet, jazz, and tap, but I’m always looking to acquire more training. Dance provides me with an outlet for self-expression, so the more I know, the better I can express myself. Besides, it’s a great place to meet girls.” Melanie mentioned crossing her legs.

“Excuse me?” Reagan inquired sitting up straighter in her oversized, leather chair.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you knew I was a lesbian.”

“How would I know that? I don’t even know you.” fumbled Reagan nervously.

“Because I could’ve sworn you were one too, but it’s obvious I was wrong. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”

“No, no. I, uh, I’ve just never had anyone come out to me. You don’t look like one.”

“Oh? And what does one look like?”

“I don’t know, not feminine.” Reagan’s heart was pounding wildly, her nerves frazzled. In her thirty-five years of living she had never known anyone gay, and this first encounter left her not knowing what to say. How could such an attractive, bright, young woman be gay? It boggled her mind. She looked at her watch. “Oh, look at the time. I’ve got to get back to court soon.” nervously she stammered.

“Judge Charleston, I didn’t mean to shock you. That wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry.”

“Miss Cantrell, I’m fine. However, may I suggest that if you ever get a real job, you might want to reconsider telling your boss. Some people might not react well to such a bold statement.”

*************************

That evening when Reagan went home she took J.R., her golden lab for a longer walk than usual as she thought about her conversation with Melanie. She wasn’t sure which made her more uncomfortable, that Melanie was gay or that Melanie thought she was. The question made Reagan uneasy, but she was determined not to let it bother her, so she tried to unwind with a book as she went to bed.

Melanie was up late that night as well socializing with her friends. When one of them asked how her first day went with the judge, Melanie moaned and rolled her eyes. She explained what happened before her friend Sarah, a long brunette like Melanie, inquired, “So did she ever deny it when you when you said you thought she was gay?”

“No. She just flipped out.”

“Do you still think that she’s gay?” Melanie nodded and grinned. “What’s the smile for? Are you interested?”

“No. She’s too old for me, but I was just thinking what a shame it would be if she wasn’t. After all, she is an attractive, intelligent, compassionate, older woman. She seems to be wealthy too. She’s my type, but she’s probably in her mid to late thirties.”

“So? Why’s that too old? Wouldn’t it be great to be married to someone wealthy and attractive? You’d never have to worry about a career.” Melanie laughed Sarah’s comments off, but the following morning when she saw Reagan step out of a 1968 Corvette looking suave in a dark pinstripe suit, she thought about Sarah’s words.

Reagan was tired that morning having tossed most of the night. Since yesterday she couldn’t get Melanie out of her mind, so when she looked up and saw Melanie standing by the building’s entrance, she was startled. “What are you doing here so early? I thought you weren’t coming in until after lunch.”

Smiling Melanie shifted her weight. “Well, I don’t have any classes today, so I thought I’d come down here and see you.” Reagan didn’t hear her words though, as she found herself caught up in Melanie’s smile. Suddenly she felt her heart jump. Nervously she fiddled with her keys as they walked toward the office. Sensing Reagan’s nervousness, Melanie said, “Judge Charleston, I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Honestly, Miss Cantrell, I’m fine. It did surprise me, but I’m fine. I’m not uncomfortable.”

“Then why won’t you call me by my first name? Are you afraid that’s too personal?” Melanie’s hand touched Reagan’s forearm as Reagan unlocked the office door.

Reagan looked at Melanie’s hand before pulling her arm away. “You should’ve been a psychology major, Melanie, if you want to try to analyze people. No, I don’t think it’s too personal. I actually hadn’t noticed I was doing it.” she lied.

“Do you let anyone call you Reagan or is it always Judge Charleston?”

Reagan stopped and looked at Melanie directly. Going against her intuition, she answered, “If you really would like to call me Reagan, you may. Judge Charleston is just more professional.”

Melanie nodded before Regan disappeared into her office. She worked for a couple of hours preparing for cases she was hearing the following day, but around 11:00 she went to check on Melanie. When she opened the door, she saw Melanie diligently typing on the computer with headphones blaring music into her ears. She didn’t notice Reagan, so Reagan just watched her momentarily, intrigued by this young woman. Finally when Melanie did notice her, Melanie jumped, tearing her headphones off.

“You know, there is a stereo right there you could use. Saves your batteries. Plus you could then hear the phone.” Melanie nodded. “Uh, I was thinking about going to lunch. Do you have any lunch plans?”

“No. I hadn’t even thought about it.”

“Well, since it’s kind of a slow day, I was wondering if you’d like to get some lunch and then maybe join me in court this afternoon. That is, unless you’d rather stay here in the office.” Reagan suggested shoving her hands into her trouser pockets as she leaned onto the door frame.

Melanie just looked at Reagan a moment, standing with such confidence and self-assurance, and suddenly she wondered what it would feel like to be held in the arms of such a powerful woman. Instead of indulging in the fantasy though, she replied, “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“Great. There’s this little cafe by the Holocaust Museum that I really enjoy. It’s very kosher. Would you mind if we go there?”

“No, that’s fine. I’ve never been down by the Museum.”

“Never? It’s fascinating. For me, it truly was a life-altering experience. I actually did my dissertation on Hitler for my doctorate in European History.”

“Why Hitler?”

“Well, I have German ancestors and wanted to learn more about them. At the time I was an undergraduate with a history major, so I began researching. I went back to World War II, and things became very confusing. Some of my ancestors were part Jewish, others Aryan. Some perished in the Holocaust in concentration camps while others were part of the regime. I became fascinated with the Third Reich, so when it was time for my dissertation, I decided to write about Hitler.

“Of course, the Holocaust Museum wasn’t opened until a few years ago, so I didn’t have the luxury of having so many references in one place. Now I go about once every couple of months to research family genealogy. You should go with me sometime if you’ve never been.”

“I’d like that.” Melanie caught herself saying with almost too much enthusiasm.

Over lunch Melanie kept asking Reagan questions about German history, not necessarily because she wanted to know the information, but she could tell it ignited a passionate fire within Reagan, one that made her face come alive. As Melanie sat across the small, cafe table from Reagan, she began to wonder more about Reagan’s personal life. During a lull in conversation, Melanie leaned back in her chair asking, “Judge, may I ask you something personal?”

Reagan set her tea cup down cautiously mumbling, “Yes, you may.”

“Have you ever been married?”

“No, I haven’t, but I was close once.”

“What was he like?”

“Well, he was two years younger than me. We had known each other a long time, and even went to the same college. We were engaged for six months.”

“What happened?”

“I wasn’t happy. It was almost like we were best friends. There wasn’t passion like I thought there should be, so I broke it off. That was about twelve years ago. I’ve never really been interested in finding Mr. Right, and after that I pretty much gave up on that nonsense. I’m doing just fine with my house and dog.”

That afternoon they spent in court. The last case of the day took longer than expected, however. Reagan was still listening to testimony at ten after six when her eyes met Melanie’s. Reagan was surprised Melanie was still there. Finally at 6:45pm Reagan handed down her verdict, and court was adjourned for the day. Reagan stood stretching. “You didn’t have to stay so late.”

“That’s okay. I wanted to.” Melanie answered smiling.

Reagan was beginning to be fond of that smile. “Listen, I, uh, was going to stop by Uno’s Pizza in Georgetown on my way home, because I don’t feel much like cooking, and I’m starving now. Would you care to join me? It’s the least I could do for making you stay past five o’clock.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

“Great. Let me just drop off my robe in the office on the way out.”

When they were at dinner, snow began falling lightly outside. Usually Reagan would have been concerned about her Corvette in such weather, but tonight the thought never entered her mind as she enjoyed Melanie’s company. When they had both eaten to their heart’s content, Reagan had their waitress wrap the rest for Melanie to take back to the dorm.

When their bill arrived, Melanie reached for her backpack, but Reagan said, “This one’s on me.”

“You bought lunch, though.” Melanie pointed out.

“So? I know college kids are poor. Keep your money.” Reagan stated reaching into the inside breast pocket of her suit jacket and pulling out a long, thin, leather wallet.

As she opened it, Melanie caught a glimpse of a picture. “Who’s that?”

“Well, my younger brother Richard, his wife Janette, and their kids.”

“What are they like?”

“Well, they are incredible people. They married when he was twenty-five, and she was twenty-three. I thought they were too young, but seven years later they are still married, so I guess I was wrong. Rich, Jr. is five. He’s a doll. Then there is Alex, who is four. He’s the one you have to watch out for, because he’s always into everything he shouldn’t be. Then there’s Lizzie. She just turned one a few months ago. She looks just like Janette. She’ll be stealing hearts when she gets older. She’s already stolen mine.” fondly Reagan said smiling at the picture.

“Do you ever want kids of your own?” Melanie inquired.

Reagan shrugged. “I’m thirty-five, so I’m getting a little old to have children. I love kids but I don’t feel I have the time to devote to them, so I seriously doubt I’ll ever have any of my own. What about you?” Melanie shrugged. “Melanie, may I ask you something? It’s about being, well, not heterosexual.”

“Sure. What do you want to know?”

“How did you know?”

“Oh, I’ve always known ever since I was a little girl. I found myself having crushes on other girls, but it wasn’t until high school that I realized what it all meant. However, I know a lot of people that didn’t realize it until college or even later than that. Why do you ask?”

Shaking her head Reagan mumbled, “Just curious.” She looked at her watch. It read 9:30pm. “Goodness. It’s getting late. I didn’t realize we’d been here that long. I should get you home. You probably have better things to do than keep me company.”

Their eyes met momentarily as Melanie responded, “Actually, I like being with you very much.”

Reagan tried to ignore her pulse as it quickened. Instead she just smiled but did not respond, because she wasn’t sure what Melanie meant. The ride up to American University was quiet as they listened to the radio. Finally, Melanie couldn’t stand it anymore and asked, “What are we listening to? May I please change the station?”

Reagan nodded. When Melanie found the sation that she liked, she turned up the volume and soon the Corvette was vibrating from the bass. “You think my music’s bad? What is this?” playfully Reagan teased. When Reagan stopped the car in front of Melanie’s dorm, she turned the music down. Turning to Melanie she asked, “Are you coming in tomorrow?”

“Of course. I’ll be there at about 2:00pm.”

“Okay. If it’s a slow day like today and you want to come into court, you can. Just be sure to do it between cases.”

Melanie nodded as their eyes stayed locked. Suddenly Reagan felt awkward, so she looked away from Melanie’s deep, dark eyes to the street saying, “I should be going. The Vette doesn’t do well in the snow, so I should get it home before it gets worse.”

Melanie could feel the uneasiness radiating off of Reagan, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to feel Reagan’s arms around her. In her mind Melanie cursed Sarah for planting the seed of interest for Judge Charleston. “Good night.” Melanie whispered.

“Good night.” mumbled Reagan keeping her eyes focused on the road. Reagan watched Melanie disappear into the building before driving away. She didn’t understand her feelings toward Melanie. She wasn’t sure what they were or where they were coming from.

When Reagan got home that night, she parked the Corvette in its spot in the garage before stepping into the laundry room. The house seemed unusually quiet as she walked into the kitchen. She threw her briefcase into one of the kitchen chairs and laid her overcoat over the back as well. Going to the refrigerator, she peered in for something to drink. The choices were slim, outdated milk, the bottom of a jug of orange juice, and flat cola. She shut the refrigerator door dissatisfied and went off to her bedroom where J.R. had settled down to sleep all ready. Casually she dressed for bed and then settled in with her book. However, she couldn’t concentrate on reading though as she just stared at the pages, because her house seemed overwhelmingly lonely. Dismissing it, she decided to go to sleep.

************************

The following morning she went to work focused on everything she had to do that day. She didn’t even have a moment to think about Melanie until 2:30pm. She was between cases at the time and busy looking over papers when she felt eyes drilling into her skull. Looking up, she saw Melanie standing there in the back of the room smiling at her. Reagan’s eyes flashed as she unknowingly gave a sexy grin in return.

The rest of the afternoon flew by and at 5:00pm, Reagan finished court for the day. When Melanie came up to her, she said, “I was hoping you’d come into court today.”

“Really? Why?” she asked head turned slightly downward shyly as her eyes looked up into Reagan’s.

“Because I wanted to see you. So, you want a ride home?”

Melanie smiled her eyes flashing with excitement. “Sure. Thanks.”

Traffic was horrible that evening, but neither of them seemed to notice as they sat in silence enjoying each other. Melanie turned on the radio and was surprised to find it set to her favorite station. She looked at Reagan, who just smiled.

Suddenly Melanie wanted a reason to spend more time with Reagan so she suggested, “You know, the traffic is really bad. Do you want to go get a drink or something?”

Instantly Reagan’s heart screamed yes, which caught her off guard. Not one to let emotions guide her though, she answered, “Thanks, but I really have some things to do at home tonight.”

She saw obvious disappointment on Melanie’s face even though she played it off. “Would you mind if I smoked?” Melanie asked.

“Yeah, I would mind. You do know that smoking is bad for you, not to mention smells awful.”

“Well, you don’t have to be around me or kiss me, so what’s it to you?” Melanie snapped.

Reagan was taken back by Melanie’s comment. “You’re right.” Reagan mumbled. “It’s not any of my business.”

Melanie thought she heard hurt in Reagan’s voice. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just that I’m trying to quit, but it’s so hard. I’ve gone the whole day without a cigarette, and it’s about to drive me crazy.”

“Well, congratulations. Quitting is hard, but you can do it.”

That night when Reagan got home, the emptiness was preponderant. She ate her dinner in front of the television that evening just to hear another human’s voice, but her mind kept straying to Melanie. She realized she didn’t have a life anymore. Everyday it was the same routine, but Melanie had thrown a wrench into the works. However it was only after spending time with her that she noticed the absence. Reagan’s thoughts moved to Melanie’s kissing comment in the car.

Suddenly when she realized she was actually thinking about how it would feel to be kissed, she became horrified. She’d given up on love and even sex such a long time ago that to have them practically thrown in her face by a woman thirteen years her junior was scary.

Not knowing exactly what to make of it, she decided to call her brother. However, Janette answered the phone, and when she said Richard wasn’t in, they began to talk about the kids. After awhile though, Janette inquired, “Reagan, you seem upset. Is something going on?”

“Oh I don’t know. I’ve met someone that’s turned my life upside down.”

“Oh really? What’s he like?” she inquired with interest.

“First of all, it’s nothing like that. It’s a young woman, actually.”

“Oh, okay. What’s she like?” Janette asked obviously surprised.

“Well, her name is Melanie Cantrell. She’s twenty-two and very interesting. I mean the first day she was in my office she told me she was a lesbian, but then she said she thought I was one. Janette, I flipped out. I didn’t know what to think about that, still don’t. Anyway, to get to the point, I enjoy her company, but after I’ve spent time with her, I feel lonely. She’s made me realize I have no life and no friends really. It’s depressing. She’s the closest thing I have to a friend, and I’ve only known her about a week.”

“Look, Reagan, it’s never too late. If you want to have meaningful relationships, friendship or romantic, it takes work but it’s never too late. Sounds like you enjoy spending time with Melanie. Why shut her out because she’s younger than you?”

Her age wasn’t the real problem, but Reagan didn’t want to admit that, so she just agreed with Janette half-heartedly. Then again maybe Janette was right in the fact that she was shutting Melanie out too quickly.

Chapter Two

On Saturday Reagan went to the Holocaust Museum to do some research. The library was busy with people, but Reagan managed to find a table with two empty chairs. She threw her briefcase and coat in one and sat in the other. She had only been there about half and hour when she heard someone behind her say, “Excuse me, ma’am.” She turned and looked over the top of her reading glasses up at a tall, slender body to the man’s dark eyes. “I was wondering, being that there are no other vacant chairs, may I sit here?” he inquired gesturing to the chair with her briefcase and coat.

“Oh, sure. Sorry.” she mumbled moving her things before going back to her reading. She paid little attention to him until she kept feeling his eyes on her. Looking up their eyes met. “What? Do you not have enough table space?”

“Oh no. That’s fine. It’s just that, well, I can’t help but look at you. You are by far the most attractive woman in the library.” Playfully he smiled.

Reagan laughed softly. “Well, that’s a line I’ve never heard. Young man, what’s your name?”

“Rob.”

“Rob, how old are you?”

“Twenty-five.”

“How old do you think I am?”

He looked her over. “Twenty-seven.” he lied smiling causing Reagan to laugh again.

“Is that a line too?”

“Maybe. Is it working?”

“Well, I am still talking to you, aren’t I? What else do you want?”

He hesitated before asking, “How about lunch?”

Reagan admired his confidence. Trying to break her mold of conservativeness, she answered, “You make it the cafe next door, and it’s a date.” Spontaneity was nothing she was used to, but being that she felt her life was in need of change, not to mention he was handsome and charming, she went against her grain. They both gathered their things, and when he extended a hand to her, she hesitated but then took it.

They had an enjoyable lunch together before walking down toward the Tidal Basin. As they walked for a bit, the wind began whipping off the water causing Reagan’s teeth to chatter. Rob encircled her shoulders with his arm. They stopped under a cherry tree, and Reagan leaned into it. Rob took a step toward her and his body pressed into hers lightly.

“Reagan, may I make an observation about you?” She nodded. “You seem unhappy. There’s no love in your life, is there?”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because if there was, you wouldn’t be here with me right now.” he whispered.

She was aware of his body leaning into hers. She knew she was about to be kissed, but instead of stopping him, something inside her was screaming for it. She closed her eyes feeling his lips on hers as her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. It was a pleasant closed-mouth kiss, but as he pulled away, Reagan pulled him back moaning for more. His hand slid from her hip around her back as they kissed again.

Reagan’s body was smoldering. After thirteen years of celibacy, she had tired of it with only two of his kisses. His mouth moved from hers to her cheek and then neck.

“What am I doing?” she gasped raking her hands through his dark hair. “I don’t even know you.” He looked at her. Reagan smiled as she stroked his disheveled hair sweetly.

“Reagan, I want to know you better. Please let me.” He kissed her again. Reagan could feel herself being emotionally swept away by this man.

Finally after a few more minutes, she forced herself to whisper, “I can’t do this. You’re a complete stranger.” Rob pulled away slowly. His eyes tried to hide their disappointment. “Look, Rob. Everything I’ve done today has been out of character for me. You’re a nice young man, but I do have to draw the line somewhere. Please try to understand.”

“No, I do understand. It’s okay. What if we move slower? Maybe go out? What do you say to that?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want any sort of relationship right now.”

“Okay. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t I give you my number, and if you change your mind, you can call me.”

She nodded in agreement taking out a business card for him to write on. He read it before turning it over and writing his number on the back. “Well, I guess this is good bye then.” he mentioned. Reagan nodded. “May I at least give you a kiss?”

With Reagan’s consent, he kissed her softly. “Good bye, Rob.” she whispered.

“Good bye, Reagan.”

On Monday morning Reagan went into the office distracted by what had happened. Fortunately for her, she had court all morning to take her mind off things. However, she had just come back from lunch and opened the office door to see Rob talking to Melanie. “Rob, what are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“Hello, Reagan. I must admit I memorized your address from your business card. I wanted to see you. You’ve been on my mind since Saturday, and I knew that you’d never call, so I decided to pursue you instead. Do you mind?”

Reagan laughed. “You certainly are a persistent young man.”

“Do you have a few minutes for us to be alone?”

“Yeah, sure. Come on in.”

He followed Reagan into her office, and then locked the door behind him as she took off her robe. Before she realized what was happening, he had encircled her waist with his hands. He kissed her softly. “Rob.” she whispered.

“I’ve ben thinking about this since Saturday, Reagan. I’ve wanted you since I’ve touched you. I know you feel that, and I know there’s something in you that feels the same. Why won’t you let it happen?”

“I don’t even know you, Rob.”

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s the real reason, Reagan. You strike me as a person who does whatever she wants, so I don’t think me being a stranger matters if you really want it.”

“Okay. You really want to know? I haven’t been to bed with anyone in thirteen years. Quite honestly, the only thing that I remember about it was that it was never satisfying, so I gave up on it.”

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right man. Why don’t you try me on for size?”

Reagan was silent a moment before answering, “Okay.”

“Okay? What do you mean okay?”

“Rob, I’m thirty-five. I’m not a kid. You’re right that I go after what I want. We are the same kind of person, so you can read me just like I can read you. The sex is not an issue really. It’s more of what else you want.”

“I want whatever you want to give, whether it be friends or more.”

“How about dinner tonight, just friends?” Reagan suggested.

“Okay, sounds good.”

“All right then. I need to get to court, but you can call me later, and we can discuss it.” Rob smiled before kissing her cheek.

Once he was gone, Melanie poked her head in the door, Reagan motioned her in. “Looks like you got yourself a man this past weekend.”

“Oh Rob? Yeah, we met this past weekend, but we’re just friends.”

“Try telling that to him. It looks like he wants more than friendship.”

“Maybe so Melanie, but I’m not looking for a relationship. I gave up on men a long time ago.”

Reagan saw Melanie’s mouth curve ever so slightly into a smirk as she stated, “Me too.” Reagan laughed.

Part Two

That night Rob decided to make dinner for Reagan. When she arrived at his apartment, she knocked expecting him to answer. However, another young man, a blonde with blue eyes and nice build answered the door. “Well, hello there. You must be Rob’s woman.”

“Reagan.” she introduced herself. “Rob and I are just friends.”

“Oh well, in that case, I’m Chris. Do you have any boyfriends, fiances, or husbands?”

“No.” Reagan answered giving him a quizzical look at his odd question.

“So that means I can call you then?”

“Hey! I can hear that Chris. Knock it off.” Rob stated peering around the corner out of the kitchen.

“I’m just kidding. Relax, Rob.” Chris lead her into the living room where two other guys were watching ESPN.

They introduced themselves before Reagan asked, “Is the Wizard’s game on yet?”

“It’s about to start. You like basketball?” asked Chris.

Reagan nodded sitting. They all began watching the game as Reagan impressed them with her knowledge. Finally, Rob came out of the kitchen and said, “Okay guys. Time to go.”

“No way, man. We’re watching the game with Reagan. This woman knows hoops. She’s cool.”

“You guys promised to leave when she got her, so get out.”

The three guys grumbled and said good bye to Reagan. Once she and Rob were alone, she mentioned, “I feel like I’m in a time wrap in a college dorm room.”

“Well, it feels like that sometimes, but now it’s just us.” he softly said embracing her and leaning in for a kiss.

Reagan accepted the gesture and soon Rob’s body had pressed her into a semi-reclining position on the couch. Reagan closed her eyes feeling his mouth ravaging her neck, his hands grappling with the buttons on her blouse. Soon it was open, and Rob had flicked open the front clasp of her bra. Their mouths met as Rob’s hand ventured up to one of her breasts causing her to moan.

“Reagan, I want you so much.” he growled stripping off his own shirt. “Please let me take you to bed.”

Later that night as Rob and Reagan were just lying in bed, she mentioned, “I should go. It’s late, and I’m really tired.”

“No, don’t. Stay here. Let me hold you.” he said propping up on his arm.

Reagan smiled and brushed his hair back. “Rob, I can’t. We’re supposed to be just friends.”

“Reagan, you still want to be just friends after tonight? Come on. Why won’t you let me in? I want to get to know you. Please. Stay with me, and let me hold you. Give it a try.”

“You really want me to?” she inquired.

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay. I’ll stay. I don’t have to be in court until the afternoon anyway.”

Chapter Three

When Reagan arrived at her office the next morning, it was after 10:00am. She opened the door and saw Melanie sitting there reading a book. Suddenly Reagan’s heart dropped into her stomach. “Good morning.” she mumbled avoiding eye contact.

Melanie sensed something wrong immediately. “Good morning. How are you? You’re awfully late.” Melanie mentioned hesitantly.

Reagan nodded but said nothing. She didn’t know what to say, because she didn’t understand the way she was feeling, so she was silent. A few minutes after she went into her office, Melanie came in and just stared at her. Reagan tried desperately to ignore her at first and wandered over to the refrigerator.

“Are you all right?” Melanie asked softly.

Reagan didn’t answer the question but just looked at Melanie with confusion. Finally she said, “I just need to be alone.”

Melanie hesitated for a moment before walking out of the office. Once she was gone, Reagan felt like crying at her confusion. She felt wonderful when she was with Rob, but her feelings toward Melanie were changing. Instead of enjoying her company, Reagan was beginning to feel awkward. She didn’t know where her feelings of guilt about Rob were coming from. It just didn’t make sense to her why she felt ashamed.

*************************

That night when Reagan got home from work she got a call from Rob inviting her skiing for the weekend. She accepted with great enthusiasm, but after hanging up realized she would need a house sitter for J.R. In the three years that she’d had him, she had never been away from him for more than a day. Everywhere she traveled he had gone also, but this time wouldn’t be possible.

Since it was already Tuesday night, she wondered who she could get on short notice. Suddenly Melanie came into mind, but she quickly discounted it, even though she didn’t know why. By bedtime she still hadn’t thought of anyone. Melanie was beginning to look like a better option. Snuggling further into her blanket, she looked at the clock which read 10:30pm. Figuring Melanie would still be awake, she dialed the number.

Melanie was sitting in her room with her roommate and friend Sarah. They all were lounging on Melanie’s bed as Melanie was tearfully trying to explain what had happened at the office when the phone rang. As her roommate got up to answer it, Melanie said to Sarah, “To make it worse, I think she slept with him.”

When Reagan heard a young woman answer, she hesitated for a second. “Uh, hello. This is Judge Reagan Charleston, and I am calling for Miss Cantrell. Is she in by chance?”

“Yes, she is. One moment.”

Melanie looked at her roommate who was cupping her hand over the receiver. “It’s her.”

“Her who?” asked Melanie.

“Reagan.”

Melanie wiped her eyes before taking the phone. “Hello.”

“Uh, Melanie, hi. This is Judge Charleston. I’m sorry to disturb you. I wasn’t sure what kind of hours you kept, but I figured college kids are usually up pretty late.”

“No. It’s okay. You didn’t disturb me.” she answered staring at her friends who were anxiously watching her.

“Well, the reason I called is because I have a business proposition for you. I’m going skiing this weekend, and I need a house sitter. It’s only Friday evening through Sunday morning, and all you would have to do is take care of my dog, J.R. and sleep over at the house. I’ll pay you whatever you think is fair.”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I have no way to get over there.”

Reagan was silent a moment but then before realizing what she was doing she said, “Well, I’m taking the Jeep with me, but if you promise not to get a scratch on it, I’ll let you borrow the Corvette. No joy riding though.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. I would love to house sit for you.”

“Great. That’s a load off my mind.”

Melanie could tell in Reagan’s voice that she was uneasy. “May I ask you a question? What did I do to make you ignore me today?”

Reagan was silent for a second before answering, “You didn’t do anything. It had nothing to do with you.”

“You had a date with Rob last night, didn’t you?”

“No, it wasn’t a date. It was just dinner. We’re only friends.” unconvincingly she said, but Melanie knew just by the tone in her voice that is wasn’t the truth. She knew then that Reagan had been intimate with him.

Melanie wanted to hang up right then, but knowing she didn’t have the right to her feelings, she just asked, “So is Rob going skiing with you?”

“Yeah. He and a few of his friends that I met last night.”

“Well, that sounds like fun.”

“Yeah, it should be. Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, I’ll be in sometime after lunch.” When Melanie hung up the phone, she just laid her head on her pillow before mumbling, “She’s going skiing with him this weekend, and she wants me to house sit for her.” Sarah put a consoling arm on Melanie’s shoulder. “Oh well. I guess I was wrong about her.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t change the way you feel. You like her.”

*************************

On Friday evening Melanie went to Reagan’s house late. When she arrived J.R. was awaiting her anxiously. She patted him on the head before walking into the kitchen. Sitting on the counter was as note from Reagan giving basic instructions for J.R. Melanie then wandered around the house admiring Regan’s taste. She wandered upstairs and stepped into the master bedroom. Melanie stood in the doorway just staring at the queen sized bed as she wondered which side Reagan slept on. She figured it was the left side being that there was a phone, alarm clock, and lamp on the night stand.

Once she finished touring the house, she changed for bed in Reagan’s bathroom. She noticed then that the whole house, including the bedroom and bathroom weren’t really feminine at all. Then again she never saw Reagan wear any feminine clothes either, but mostly neutral styles and colors.

Melanie was tired so she decided to curl up in bed and watch television before going to sleep. Going to Reagan’s bed, she climbed in centering herself in it. As she arranged the pillows around her, she noticed that some smelled more like Regan than others, so she clutched one to her.

As Reagan and Rob went to bed that night, Reagan found herself wondering about Melanie. She found herself wanting to call to check on her, so while Rob was changing, she reached for the phone.

“Who are you calling?” he asked out of curiosity.

“I’ve just got to check on Melanie and make sure everything is all right.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“Well, I want to know for myself. This is the first time I’ve left J.R. with someone, so I want to make sure everything is fine.”

Rob gave a small laugh. “Oh, you and your baby.” he said as she dialed.

When Melanie answered, Reagan said, “Hey, Melanie. It’s Reagan.”

“Oh, hi.”

“I was just checking to make sure everything was okay.”

“Everything’s fine. J.R. and I were on our way to bed.”

While they were talking, Rob climbed onto the bed practically laying on top of Reagan. He began kissing her neck as he whispered, “Get off the phone.”

Reagan tried to ignore him at first, but finally she moaned accidentally. Melanie was shocked as she said, “Sounds like you need to get off the phone.”

“Yeah. I better go. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

When Melanie hung up the phone, she began to cry as she held Reagan’s pillow a little closer. On Saturday she awoke late and leisurely showered in Reagan’s bathroom. She stayed in the shower especially long as she inspected all of Reagan’s toiletries, once again finding nothing feminine.

On Sunday night when Rob and Reagan arrived back at her place, she noticed the Corvette was gone. They quickly unpacked the Jeep, throwing his things in his car, which had been sitting in the driveway all weekend, and then they stacked her stuff in the laundry room before going into the den.

They were sitting there watching television and holding each other when they began to kiss softly. Suddenly Regan heard the garage door, and knowing it was Melanie, she jumped off the couch, which surprised Rob. “What’s wrong?” he asked just as the back door opened. When Melanie came in, Rob saw the look on Reagan’s face.

“Hey there! How was your trip?” Melanie asked almost as if she was excited to see Reagan until she noticed Rob.

“It was great. How were things here?”

“They were fine.” she mumbled.

“Hi, Melanie.” Rob said trying to be polite, but she only mumbled a greeting in return making Reagan even more uncomfortable. She excused herself saying she was going to get her checkbook from her study. As she walked back to the den after writing Melanie a check, she heard them engaged in a conversation that caused her to stop in the hallway out of eye sight.

“Look, Melanie,” Rob said. “I respect Reagan’s friendship with you, even though, between you and me, I know you want her for yourself. I’ve seen the way you look at her. Do you think I like that? I don’t think Reagan has a clue, and I want it to stay that way, so I hope you’re not thinking of saying anything to her.”

“Don’t patronize me, Rob! Do you think I like you being around? It sucks! I want her to be happy.”

“Well, she is with me.” Rob said defensively.

“She only thinks she is. Given one chance, I know she’d be truly happy with a woman. I see it in her eyes.”

“Yeah, wishful thinking! You just want her for yourself!”

Reagan was feeling weak as she stumbled into the powder room. She looked in the mirror and saw her face turning pale. Melanie was attracted to her. The realization made Reagan’s stomach do a somersault. Was she attracted to Melanie as well, Reagan contemplated momentarily. Knowing she had to go back out there, she took several calming breaths before walking into the den.

She saw Rob and Melanie sitting in strained silence. Going to Melanie Regan looked her directly in the eyes and handed her the check. Melanie took it slowly feeling as if Reagan’s eyes were staring right through her to her soul. Then Reagan turned toward Rob and said, “I’ve got to take Melanie home, and then I’m going to come back here and crash, because I’m not feeling very well.”

“I’ll stay here and keep you company if you want.” he stated.

“No. That’s okay. I’ll call you tomorrow, though.”

Rob nodded standing, and Reagan escorted him to the door. He kissed her cheek before leaving. Reagan went back to the den to the wet bar where she began to fix herself a bourbon. “Would you like a drink?” she asked not even looking at Melanie.

“Sure.” Melanie answered hesitantly.

“What do you want?”

“Whatever you’re having, I guess.”

Melanie watched Regan fill one glass with cola before adding a giger of bourbon. Then in the other glass she put a shot of cola and two parts bourbon. Reagan guzzled the stronger drink and poured herself a second just as strong. Then she turned toward Melanie who was looking concerned. Reagan handed her the drink before sitting next to her on the couch.

“Are you okay?” softly Melanie inquired.

“I’d just like to drink this and go to sleep!” she snapped.

“Bad weekend?”

“No. It was fine until I got back here.” It was obvious that Melanie was hurt by that statement as her lip quivered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Then what?” inquired Melanie her hand moving to Reagan’s leg.

Reagan closed her eyes trying to hold back tears, but the feeling of Melanie’s hand made her heart ache. She had the urge to pull away but at the same time stay.

“I’m sorry. I’m usually not an emotional person, but these past few weeks have been crazy for me.” she whispered as her dam of tears broke.

Without thinking Melanie reached for her, and Reagan fell into her embrace. Reagan’s head nestled into Melanie’s neck as she cried a trail of tears starting on Melanie’s neck and rolling down into her shirt. She could feel Melanie gently stroking her brown, graying hair. They sat for about ten minutes in silence before Reagan felt the alcohol coming over her. “I think I need to lie down.” she mumbled.

“You want me to help you upstairs?” Melanie asked.

Reagan nodded, so they both went upstairs to Reagan’s room. Melanie sat Reagan down on the bed and then sat next to her before wrapping her arms around Reagan again. Reagan began to lay back, and since Melanie didn’t let go, she lied down as well. As they laid there, Reagan became aware of Melanie’s whole body, the shape and feel of it pressed against her own. After awhile, Reagan’s tears stopped, but they continued to lay in their embrace. Reagan was so amazed at how consoling, soft, and warm Melanie’s touch was that she didn’t want to pull away. Finally Reagan drifted off to sleep.

In the morning she awoke to find herself alone in bed. However, she heard running water in the bathroom, so she just laid there. A few minutes later the water went off, and then Melanie emerged from the bathroom wearing only a towel. Her hair was wet and pulled over her shoulder. Reagan desperately pretended to be asleep as she watched Melanie walk to her closet and pull out one of her dress shirts. As Melanie proceeded to slip it on, her towel fell to the floor. Reagan knew she should’ve looked away, but she couldn’t, her curiosity being too strong. She watched Melanie button it leisurely before leaning over to pick up her towel and taking it back into the bathroom.

Reagan’s eyes opened fully as she tried to breath, but it felt as if she’d been hit in the chest. When Melanie came out of the bathroom again, she saw that Reagan was awake. “Good morning. I hope you don’t mind, but I borrowed one of your shirts.”

Reagan unknowingly smiled as she stretched. “No, I don’t mind. How about some pants for that outfit?”

“How are you feeling? Any better?”

Reagan shrugged. “It was nice having company, though. Sorry I wasn’t a better hostess.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad I could be there for you. Isn’t that what friends are for?”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t really have that many. Is that what we are?” Reagan asked. Melanie plopped down on the bed stretching out next to Reagan as she nodded. Reagan noticed the way the shirt just barely covered Melanie as she had one leg bent. Reagan found herself staring at it wondering if it was as soft as it looked. Melanie felt Reagan’s eyes on her leg. Rolling on her side so they were face to face, Melanie stretched her leg over touching her foot to Reagan’s. She smiled as they looked at each other. Reagan wasn’t sure what might happen if she stayed in that position, so she slowly got out of bed saying, “I need to get ready for work.”

When Reagan dropped Melanie off at school, she parked the car but left it running. She turned to Melanie, who had ended up wearing one of Reagan’s dress shirts with a pair of sweat pants. “Well, will you be in today?” she asked smiling. Melanie nodded. “Great. I’ll see you later then.”

*************************

Over the next few days things were fine until Reagan saw Rob for the first time since the ski trip. They were hanging out at his apartment with his roommates when he suddenly left the room. Reagan thought nothing of it at first but when ten minutes had gone by and he hadn’t returned, she went back to his bedroom. She found him in a candle lit room lying on the bed in only his shorts.

“What are you doing back here by yourself?” she asked.

“Waiting for you. It’s about time you got here. Why don’t you join me?” he suggested softly patting the bed next to him. Smiling Reagan climbed onto the bed, and he began to unbutton her shirt before cupping one of her breasts. “I’ve missed you over the last few days. I’m sorry you’ve been sick. I would’ve taken care of you though, if you would’ve let me.”

“I know, but you entertained me all weekend. I didn’t want to impose on you or seem needy. Besides, Melanie stayed over that night, so I wasn’t alone.”

“She did?” Rob asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I got to feeling worse after you left, so she stayed the night. What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she inquired when he gave her a skeptical glare.

“Nothing. I just don’t know if I trust her.”

“Why? Because she’s a lesbian?”

“No, not exactly. If she were only gay, that wouldn’t bother me, but I think there’s more to it than that.”

“Like what?” Reagan’s voice was becoming agitated.

Rob withdrew his hand. “Do we really have to talk about this now?”

“What would you rather do? Have sex?” she yelled sitting up.

Rob sat silently watching Reagan fumble with her shoes trying to get them on. She stood starting for the door. “You can’t go out there like that!” he said seeing that she hadn’t bothered to close her shirt.

“Watch me!” she screamed marching out with Rob following closely behind her.

“Reagan! Reagan, wait!” He caught up with her in the den where his roommates were cat calling at Reagan’s outfit. She gave then a cynical glare, stopping their comments immediately. “Reagan, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave angry.” he softly stated.

“Trouble in paradise?” one of his roommates joked, but Rob shot them an angry stare while Reagan proceeded to finally button her shirt.

“Look, Reagan. I’m sorry I inferred things about Melanie. I know she’s your friend, but if you haven’t noticed, the woman is head over heels for you. I just don’t see how you can have a friendship. I’ve seen the way she looks at you and how uneasy it makes you.”

When he said that Reagan’s heart began pounding. She didn’t know she’d been that obvious. She wondered if Melanie had noticed too. Her eyes began to swell making Rob soften. He put his arms around her. Reagan knew he was trying to be consoling, but his arms just didn’t have the same healing power as Melanie’s, so she just felt foolish. She pulled away and gathered her composure quickly.

“Look, Rob. The way Melanie feels towards me or vice versa shouldn’t matter. She and I are friends. I’d like to continue to be friends with you as well, but I can’t if you and Melanie can’t get along.”

Rob looked at his feet a moment before saying, “I’ve tried really hard to win your affections, Reagan, but you still only want friendship from me. Why can’t we be more? Do I not satisfy you? What do I have to do?”

“Rob, there’s more to a relationship than sex, but I can’t give those things. I’m content being single. The sex is great, and I like the attention, but I can’t get involved right now. I have other things that demand my time and energy. A friendship is all I can do. Please try to understand.”

Rob lowered his head again. “Reagan, I don’t know if I can do that. I am genuinely interested in you as more than a friend. However, I don’t want to be without you completely. I like being with you.”

“And I like being with you, so let’s not make this good bye, just a see you later.” He nodded. Reagan then kissed his cheek before leaving.

As Reagan was driving home, she passed American University and found herself turning in wondering what Melanie was up to. Picking up her car phone, she dialed Melanie’s number. Melanie was in her room doing her usual thing, gossiping with Sarah, when the phone rang. “Hello.” she said listening to Sarah talk.

“Hi. Melanie? This is Reagan.”

“Hey Judge! How are you?” she inquired smiling at Sarah who immediately became quiet.

“Well, you’ll never believe where I am. I was driving home and before I knew it my car was sitting out in front of your dorm where I dropped you off the other morning. I’ve had kind of a rough night, so I was wondering if you were busy, because being with you always seems to make me feel a bit better. I know it’s kind of short notice, and if I’m imposing, I understand, but I thought it was worth a shot.”

“No, you’re not imposing at all. I’d love to spend time with you. I should get dressed though. Why don’t you come up to my room? It’s better than waiting in the car.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll let you in.”

“Okay, sure.”

When they hung up, Melanie screamed in excitement. “What’s up?” Sarah inquired.

“She’s here! She came to see me! I’ve got go let her in.”

When Melanie went to let Reagan in, she saw how ragged Reagan looked. They hugged in a long silence before Melanie pulled Reagan toward the stairwell up to her room. Melanie walked in but when Reagan hesitated, Melanie grabbed her by the hand, pulling her into the room. Melanie’s roommate and Sarah were sitting there staring at her with interest. Still holding her hand, Melanie gave introductions before walking to her closet. Regan stood nervously by the door shifting back and forth on her work boots.

Sensing Reagan’s uneasiness, Melanie gestured to her bed asking, “Do you want to sit down?”

“No, that’s okay. I’m fine.” she answered digging her hands deeper into her jean pockets.

Once Melanie had changed, Sarah mentioned, “It’s cold out there. You might want a jacket.”

“Oh I’m sure I’ll be fine.” she mumbled.

“Well, if you do get cold, you could always borrow mine.” mentioned Reagan.

They ended up just strolling around campus as Melanie listened to Reagan reminisce about her days there. Snow flurries began to fall lightly, so Melanie looped her arm through Reagan’s and pulled her closer, leaning to rub her cheek against Reagan’s thick, flannel shirt. Instantly Reagan felt her skin heating where Melanie was touching her, making her shiver at the unexpected feeling.

“It’s getting cold.” Melanie whispered.

Reagan was just holding her black leather jacket, so she put it around Melanie’s shoulders. “Here. This should help.” Reagan replied.

“Thanks,” Melanie mumbled, “but I like your arm better.”

Reagan stopped walking and faced Melanie. Her heart was beating erratically as she reached out on impulse and encircled Melanie’s waist, bringing her in closer. “Better?” she asked almost breathlessly as she felt Melanie’s cold nose nuzzle in to her neck. Melanie reached back and touched Reagan’s hands. They were cold yet sweating.

“Your hands are freezing. Here. Put them under the jacket.” she said guiding Regan’s tentative hands under the hem of jacket and back around her waist. She could feel Reagan swallow hard. They just stood for along time in absolute silence as the snow fell upon them.

When Melanie got back to her room that night, Sarah was still there. “Nice jacket.” she mentioned.

Melanie giggled as she pulled it tighter around her body. “She’s so sweet.”

“And cute. You certainly were right about that.”

Melanie moaned thinking about Reagan’s outfit. “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen her in jeans. Did you see that ass?”

“And those legs?” Sarah added. “For an older woman, she is really in incredible shape.”

“She’s got the strongest arms. I was cold, so she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her. Oh, what a firm body! I tell you, that’s one body I wouldn’t mind being underneath in bed!”

“Easy there, Melanie. You haven’t known her that long.”

“I don’t care! I want her! She touches me and my whole body aches for more.”

“And you think she feels the same?”

“I think she’s beginning to. I could feel her heart racing as she held me.”

As Reagan slowly made her way home through the snow, her mind raced with questions about the evening. She had gotten so angry with Rob when he had tried to infer that Melanie had feelings for her other than friendship, but as they strolled through campus, Reagan realized for the first time that it was true. She could feel it in Melanie’s body as she held her in the snow. Reagan wondered why she had the urge to embrace her in the first place, but didn’t come up with a definitive answer. She was drawn in for an unexplainable reason. Sighing deeply she wondered what road she was headed down if she couldn’t fight the urges to be close to the younger woman.

Part Three

A few days later Melanie and Reagan had gone out for lunch together. During their conversation Reagan mentioned, “You know, I never received a bill for your friend’s car. What’s going on with that?”

“Oh, well her parents were going to get her a new car for graduation anyway, so they decided not to bother fixing it.”

“Oh? Well, you’ve worked all the hours to pay off my car. You don’t have to keep coming into the office then.”

“I know, but I enjoy it. I like being there. I like being with you.”

“Well, I like having you around too, but I do have to work. Since you’re no longer under any obligations, can we cut back your hours at least? How about twice a week?”

“I don’t want to cut back on hours. I won’t get to see you as much.”

“Well, not at work, but we’ll still see each other. I want to still see you. I mean in the past month I’ve met you and Rob, and after last week when I told him that we could only be friends, I don’t know if he’ll stick around. I want you to stay around, though.”

Melanie smiled at Reagan’s comment about Rob. “Okay.” she consented. A few minutes later Melanie asked, “I was wondering if I could ask something of you. My Spring Break is in about a month, and I really can’t afford to go anywhere, but the dorms close. Do you think it would be possible for me to crash at your place? I promise I’ll be the perfect house guest, cook, clean, whatever.”

“Sure. That’s no problem at all. I’ve got plenty of space.”

Chapter Four

When the time came for Melanie’s Spring Break, things had become more tense between them, even though they hadn’t progressed any farther than the evening in the snow. Reagan sensed something would happen while Melanie was staying with her, but she wasn’t sure what or how she would feel about it. On the second night she was there, Reagan fixed them fettuccini alfredo with grilled chicken and Caesar salad for dinner. Melanie insisted they have the lights dimmer than usual, so what began as an ordinary meal turned into an intimate dinner as they sipped their white wine. They hardly spoke during the meal, but their eyes expressed more than words ever could. When they had finished eating, Reagan washed the dishes. She was just wiping her hands afterwards on a towel when she felt Melanie’s arms encircle her waist.

“Dinner was so wonderful. Thank you.”

“Well, I’m glad you liked it.” Reagan said turning around, so they were facing each other. “That’s one of my favorite meals.” Melanie began to play with Reagan’s shoulder length hair. “Would you like some dessert?” Reagan inquired as Melanie looked into her eyes. She nodded seductively. Reagan could feel the wine coming over her, urging her to lower her guard. Feeling flirtatious Reagan slipped her arms around Melanie’s back as she whispered, “What would you like?” Melanie gave a small grin as she leaned up and at the same time pulled Reagan’s head down slightly until their lips met softly. When Melanie pulled away, Regan breathlessly asked, “What was that for?”

“Because I think I’m in love with you, Reagan, and I can’t keep it to myself any longer.”

Taken by surprise Reagan smiled nervously. Her head was spinning out of control as her heart pounded harder. “That’s the first time you’ve ever called me Reagan.”

“Reagan, I love you.” Melanie whispered causing Reagan to smile again. It had been such a long time since anyone had said that to her. “Do you feel the same? Do you love me?”

Reagan looked away from Melanie’s brown eyes. She wasn’t prepared to talk about her feelings. When Reagan didn’t answer, Melanie pulled away from her and excused herself from the room. Reagan heard her bound up the staircase.

Melanie went into the guest bedroom where her things were and collapsed onto the bed. About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and then Reagan entered. She stood at the foot of the bed. “Melanie, I’m sorry. I just have never felt like this in my life, and I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way. I find myself thinking about you at all hours of the day, and at night I inevitably fall asleep thinking of your beautiful face. No man has ever made me feel this way. I’ve never been so stuck on one person in my life. I thought I knew what love was, but since being with you, I don’t know anymore. I do know that I like having you around, and when you’re not, I wish you were.” Melanie stood and came to Reagan, embracing her. “I love the way your body feels against mine.” Reagan confessed as her lips lightly grazed the top of Melanie’s ear. “It’s so small and warm. I feel like my whole body could envelope you.”

“I like it too. I love it when you hold me like that night in the snow, just like you’re doing now.” Melanie whispered.

Reagan felt Melanie’s mouth on her neck. It brought tears to her eyes. Reagan whimpered softly before their eyes met. “You have no idea how that makes me feel.” Reagan moaned.

“Oh, but I do. I love feeling your heart starting to race. It turns me on.” Melanie growled wantonly.

Reagan moaned again. “Your voice is so sexy.”

“Reagan, I think you’re sexy.” Melanie whispered. Their mouths began to hover over each other but not touching until Melanie softly begged, “Please.” Their mouths met again, and Melanie parted Reagan’s lips with her tongue, gently thrusting into her mouth. Reagan tightened her embrace around Melanie’s waist feeling Melanie pull her head in deeper. When they broke away Melanie mumbled, “Damn, you can kiss too. Is there anything you can’t do?”

Reagan gave a sexy grin. “I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself. I have and idea. Why don’t we go curl up downstairs and watch a movie?”

“How about we stay here and go to bed?” suggested Melanie seductively.

Reagan gave a small nervous laugh. “Oh, honey. I’m not sure I’d know how to please you. Besides, I don’t think I’m ready. How about we compromise by watching a movie in bed?”

“Can I pick the movie?”

“Sure. I’ll go get us snacks. What do you want?” Reagan asked pulling away.

“Just you.” answer Melanie with a grin. Reagan flushed as she returned the smile.

When she got back from the kitchen, Melanie had settled into Regan’s bed already and was anxiously waiting. Reagan noted that Melanie had changed into her night clothes, so after putting down their drinks, she changed in her bathroom. Coming back to the bed, she was met with a smile.

Melanie extended a hand to her. “Come sit here.” she said patting the spot between her legs. Reagan did and then Melanie pulled her into a reclining position, so Reagan’s back was resting against Melanie’s chest.

As they began the movie, Reagan realized that it was about a woman discovering her identity. During the intimate scenes, Reagan became aware of Melanie’s hands on her back, shoulders, and hair. Melanie’s body seemed to be growing warmer, and Reagan found herself wondering if Melanie was thinking about her. When the movie was over, Melanie asked, “Are you ready for another movie?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Great. However, I will say this next one is a bit more intense.”

“More intense? How?”

“The suspense, well, and the sex is a bit more explicit.” answered Melanie getting off the bed.

Reagan watched her walk to the VCR and put in another tape. Tilting her head to one side, she could barely make out the fact that Melanie was naked underneath her extemely short yet loose shorts. Melanie turned to see Reagan’s head tilted.

“What are you doing?” she asked pretending not to know.

“Nothing.” Reagan answered innocently.

Melanie gave a sly grin as she came back to the bed. For the second movie, they switched positions, so Melanie was sitting between Reagan’s legs. Reagan wrapped her arms around Melanie’s waist, but Melanie gently slid Reagan’s hands under her tank top so they were on her bare stomach.

Melanie was indeed right about the second movie. Reagan found herself watching a scene of two women in bed that left nothing to the imagination. She felt Melanie’s body stir restlessly, which Reagan was surprised to find aroused her. She found herself wanting to touch Melanie’s body in places she’d never dared think about until now. Pushing Melanie’s hair to one side, Reagan softly began to kiss the back of her neck as one hand ventured up to the edge of one breast.

“Reagan,” Melanie moaned softly as her eyes closed. She had waited for such a long time for this that her body was aching to be adored. Reagan’s hand glided along the curvature of Melanie’s breasts before cupping one. It was so soft and firm it made Reagan groan as she found herself wanting to kiss them.

Not able to stand it any longer, Melanie repositioned her body so she was sitting sideways between Reagan’s legs. Her mouth anxiously met Reagan’s as her hands worked open the buttons on Reagan’s flannel night shirt. When Reagan felt Melanie’s hand caressing her chest and shoulders, she tore her mouth from Melanie’s as she gave a whimper. Melanie attacked her neck as she managed to push Reagan into a lying position.

Reagan couldn’t believe this was happening to her. “Melanie, wait.” she whispered causing Melanie to look up. “Look, sweetie. I really need to slow down. This is overwhelming for me.”

Melanie lowered her head as she tried to apologize. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget that it can be overwhelming.”

Reagan pulled Melanie’s body down on top of hers, and Melanie put her head next to Reagan’s on the pillow. “Melanie, I would like to be everything you ever wanted me to be, but I need time. I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never wanted or desired to please someone else as much as I want to please you. I want to fulfill your dreams. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.”

They were silent a few minutes before Melanie mentioned, “You know, I’ve always had this fantasy of being with an older, sexy, intelligent, wealthy woman. She’d take care of me financially, but in return, I’d take care of here in every other way and make her feel like a queen.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Reagan answered.

“Does it?” Melanie inquired lifting her head.

Reagan tucked some of Melanie’s hair behind her ear as she softly asked, “Who wouldn’t want to come home to your beautiful face everyday?” Melanie blushed.

That night Melanie slept with Reagan at Reagan’s invitation. When Reagan awoke to go to work the following morning, she found Melanie curled up with her head on Reagan’s chest. Reagan gently slid out of bed, so she wouldn’t disturb Melanie and went downstairs. Leisurely she fed J.R. and then read the paper with a cup of coffee. When she went back upstairs to shower, she found herself gazing at Melanie sound asleep, and Reagan felt at peace.

Melanie finally awoke around 11:00am that morning. She was just watching television when the phone rang. After debating on whether to answer it, she picked it up saying, “Charleston residence.”

“Uh, hi, this is Janette. Is Reagan at home?”

“No, she’s not. May I take a message?”

“Would this happen to be Melanie?”

Surprised Melanie answered, “Yes, it is.”

“Well, I’m Janette, Reagan’s sister-in-law. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” she asked once again surprised.

“Oh, yeah. Reagan talks about you all the time. The woman adores you.”

“She does? Well, that’s nice.”

“Listen, could you give her a message for me? Could you tell her that we’ll be there on Friday afternoon?”

“Uh, sure. Okay.”

************************

On Friday Reagan came home from work at lunch time to prepare for her family’s visit. When she walked in, she heard the stereo on louder than usual and singing coming from the kitchen. Reagan walked toward it and peeked around the corner to see Melanie cleaning the counter tops. Reagan watched and listened to her for several minutes. Finally making her presence known, she said, “Hey. What are you doing?”

“Oh, hi. I figured I’d straighten up for you, because you work so hard. The last thing you should have to do is come home and clean.”

Reagan dropped her briefcase and coat to embrace Melanie. “You’re too good to me. You know, I was standing there listening to you for awhile. You have an incredible voice.”

“Thank you.” Melanie blushed as they kissed lightly. When Reagan pulled away and started for the refrigerator, Melanie asked, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Reagan turned to see Melanie holding her briefcase and coat. “I just cleaned this floor. Why don’t you put these where they belong?” she teased.

Reagan smiled. “A tough girl, huh? Trying to run my house for me?” She took the briefcase out of Melanie’s hand and tossed it on the floor again before throwing the coat. She then pulled Melanie by the waist to her. “Maybe I should show you who’s the boss.” Reagan stated leaning down and kissing her passionately. Then she kicked off her shoes and pulled off her socks dropping them into a pile. Reagan began to unbutton her dress shirt as she said, “I’ll put anything on this floor that I want.”

Melanie’s eyes flashed with excitement as Reagan ripped her shirt off her shoulders letting it fall to the floor, leaving her in only a t-shirt and slacks. Reagan reached for Melanie’s top and pulled it off as well. Then Reagan sat Melanie up on the counter and forced her body between Melanie’s legs as she dove into Melanie’s neck. “What’s gotten into you?” Melanie gasped feeling Reagan kissing the slopes of her breasts. Melanie ran her hands through Reagan’s hair pulling Reagan’s head deeper into her chest as she wrapped her legs around Reagan’s waist. Picking her up once again, Reagan moved Melanie to the floor. The cold tile bit Melanie’s bare back sending shivers up her spine.

“You all right?” Reagan whispered.

“I’m just cold.”

Reagan’s leg nestled between Melanie’s. “Seem warm to me.” Reagan growled.

Melanie tore at Reagan’s t-shirt until it came off and then pulled off Reagan’s bra. She then got her own off before pulling Reagan’s body down onto hers. The feeling of their bare skin touching made both of them groan. Suddenly Reagan’s cell phone in her back pocket began to ring. Reagan reached for it, but Melanie stopped her.

“I have to answer it. It might be the office.” Reagan sat up on her knees still straddling Melanie. Melanie proceeded to unbuckle Reagan’s belt as Reagan pulled the phone from her pocket. “Hello.” she said feeling Melanie undoing her pants.

“Hey, it’s me.” Rob said.

“Hey, Rob.”

As soon as Melanie heard who it was, her hands jumped away from Reagan’s zipper like she had touched a hot stove. She sat up and began caressing Reagan’s breasts with her hands as she whispered, “Say good bye to Rob. Hang up.”

Reagan ignored her however, so Melanie took the phone from her and hung up on him.

“Melanie, I was talking to someone.” Reagan growled in annoyance. The phone rang again as Melanie held it. Reagan took it out of Melanie’s hand and after a moment of deliberation answered it. Immediately Melanie slid out from Reagan’s legs and walked away. Reagan heard her rush upstairs. “Look, Rob. This isn’t a good time for me to talk. Can I get back to you, say on Monday?”

Once Reagan hung up the phone, she went upstairs not even bothering to pick up their clothes off the kitchen floor. She went into the bedroom where she heard the shower running. Going into the bathroom, Reagan said, “Melanie, I’m sorry.”

“Leave me alone! I don’t want to talk to you!”

“Well, I want to talk to you.” Melanie didn’t answer, so Reagan took off her pants and opened the shower door. Stepping in she said, “I figured this was the only way you’d talk to me.” Melanie didn’t say anything at first as her eyes roamed over Reagan’s body. They had never been completely naked together. Melanie took in a short breath. “Come here.” Reagan demanded sliding an arm around Melanie’s waist. Kissing Melanie’s neck, Reagan whispered, “Forgive me?”

“Uh huh.” Melanie barely responded.

They showered slowly every once in a while stopping to kiss or caress each other. Following their shower they fell asleep holding each other. Reagan awoke later to Melanie nudging her. “Reagan, wake up. Someone’s at the door.”

Reagan looked at the clock. “Oh, shit! That’s probably them!” Reagan threw on her robe and bound down to the door. “Hey! Sorry, I was in the shower, and I guess Melanie is asleep. Come on in.”

“Melanie’s here?” Janette asked seeing the two boys attacking either of Reagan’s legs. After everyone hugged Reagan went back upstairs to get dressed. A few minutes later she and Melanie both came downstairs. Once introductions were over, Reagan began to play with the kids on the floor as Janette and Richard talked to Melanie.

That night the children went to bed early and then Richard and Janette thought it best if they went to sleep too being so tired from their trip. Reagan consulted her watch once she and Melanie were alone. “Well, it’s 10:00. We should probably go to sleep, because the kids get up really early. I should get my pillows and blanket.”

“I wish you’d sleep upstairs with me.” Melanie said.

“Honey, I can’t this time. By the way, what did you do with the clothes on the kitchen floor?”

“I didn’t do anything. I thought you moved them.”

“No, I didn’t. Well, let’s go to bed.”

*************************

Reagan slept on the couch in the den, but she was restless. She really wanted to be upstairs in bed with Melanie. Not being able to sleep, she went into the kitchen and made herself a sandwich. She was eating when she heard movement on the front staircase, and then Melanie appeared wearing only Reagan’s robe. “What are you doing up?” Reagan asked.

“Missing you. I couldn’t sleep.” Melanie straddled Reagan’s legs so they were sitting face to face. They both ate some of Reagan’s sandwich as they talked. Finally Melanie said, “Please come up to bed with me. I want you.”

“Oh, you know I can’t, Melanie.”

Melanie then untied the robe and pulled it off her shoulders asking, “Not even these could change your mind?”

Reagan brought a hand to Melanie’s bare breasts and gently stroked them as they began kissing. A few minutes passed before Melanie begged, “Reagan, please take me to bed.” Reagan opened her eyes to respond but jumped when she saw Janette standing there with Lizzie in her arms.

Chapter Five

When Reagan jumped it caused Melanie to turn around and notice Janette. Quickly pulling the robe over her shoulders, she stood saying, “Well, I guess I’m going to go back to bed now. Good night, Reagan.”

Once Melanie was gone, Janette fumbled, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know-I was just trying to get Lizzie back to sleep. Had I known you two would be-”

“Janette, I’m sorry you had to walk in on that. I thought everyone was asleep.” Reagan mumbled in embarrassment.

“No. It’s your house. I just didn’t know. I suspected it today when we arrived, but I didn’t know for sure.”

“What made you suspicious?”

“I found the clothes on the kitchen floor. I picked them up before Richard saw them. Then when you and Melanie came downstairs, you both had wet hair and looked like we has awakened you. Reagan, I just want what makes you happy. If this is what it is, then so be it. I don’t think you should have to pretend to be something you’re not. You don’t have to hide it from us.”

“I’m not hiding. I just don’t know what’s going on, and I am concerned about the kids. They wouldn’t understand if they saw Melanie and me together.”

“Richard and I strongly believe in not sheltering the children from things that are different. Bad yes, but different, no. If this is the way it is, if this is who you are, then the kids will still love you. True, they might not be capable of understanding right now, but by the time they can, they’ll be used to it. The only thing I want to know is, which one of us is going to tell Richard? Do you want me to tell him or are you going to let him figure it out on his own?”

“I’m not ready to tell him. Things just started with Melanie. I don’t even know if this will last.”

Janette nodded. “Well,” she said cracking a smile, “you looked pretty content to me when I came down here, and it’s obvious Melanie is in love with you. She makes you happy. That has to count for something.” Reagan nodded.

The next morning Reagan was awakened by Alex jumping on her. “Aunt Rea, good morning.”

Reagan slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him. “Hey, sport.” she mumbled ruffling his hair.

“I wanna watch cartoons.” he said.

“Okay. Hand me the remote.” As soon as they got the television on, Rich, Jr. came downstairs and joined them. Reagan was exhausted but did her best to stay awake until she saw Richard.

“Rea, you look really tired. Why don’t you go back to sleep while I fix these guys some pancakes?”

Reagan went upstairs sleepily and opened her bedroom door. There she saw Melanie asleep holding one of her pillows tightly. Reagan went to the bed and caressed Melanie’s face. Melanie smiled in her sleep. Instead of going back to bed, Reagan decided to just get dressed for the day, so she could spend more time with the kids.

By the time she had gotten back downstairs, Janette and Lizzie were up as well. Reagan and Janette’s eyes locked in a long silence. “Good morning.” Janette finally said. “Melanie still asleep?”

Reagan nodded without a word. “Rea, what’s wrong? Is something going on that I need to know about?” Richard asked seeing his wife and sister’s eyes locked in silent discussion.

Reagan knew it would be best if she told him, so she said, “Yeah. We need to talk, little brother. Why don’t we go take J.R. for his morning walk?”

Richard looked at his wife before slowly saying, “Okay, just let me go get my shoes.”

When they got outside, Reagan was quiet for a few minutes. “Look, Richard, there’s something I’ve got to tell you, but I’m not sure how.”

Richard smiled inquiring, “Does this have to do with Melanie?”

The surprised look on Reagan’s face gave her away. “How’d you know? Did Janette say something to you?”

“No. Do you and my wife think that I’m that dense, though? Come on, Reagan. Give me some credit here. How long has it been going on?”

“A few weeks. Richard, I’ve just never felt this way before. I don’t really understand what’s happening or how I’m feeling. The only thing I know is that she makes me happy.”

Richard smiled again as he asked, “That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

Reagan gave a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you think so. I just wanted you to hear it from me instead of Janette or figuring it out on your own.”

“Look, sis, I don’t really care who you date as long as you’re happy. I must admit, though, that she seems awfully young. How old is she?”

“Twenty-two.”

“Oh, a cradle robber.” he joked. “Well, whatever makes you happy. I’m just glad to see you smiling again. You always had worked too much. Maybe this will help you realize there’s more to life than work. She seems to have had a great influence on you already.”

“Well, like I said I’m not sure about it, but I am happy.”

Richard reached out and gave Reagan a one arm hug before suggesting, “Why don’t we go get some pancakes before the boys devour them?”

*************************

On Sunday evening Reagan took Melanie back to school. They were sitting in her dorm room alone just talking about the weekend when Melanie noticed Reagan gazing at her breasts. Melanie didn’t say anything at first until Reagan’s hand fell upon the buttons of the shirt Melanie had borrowed from Reagan’s closet. Slowly Reagan unbuttoned it as she pulled Melanie into her lap. “What are you doing?” Melanie asked playfully.

“Something I’ve wanted to do since Friday night.” mumbled Reagan pulling Melanie’s sports bra off. Reagan cupped one of Melanie’s small breasts as their eyes met, and then Reagan leaned down taking Melanie’s breast into her mouth for the first time. Melanie groaned feeling Reagan’s tongue teasing her until she was tingling.

“Reagan.” breathlessly she mumbled.

Reagan laid Melanie down on to the bed as she continued to enjoy Melanie’s body. After awhile Reagan’s hand trailed down between Melanie’s thighs. Instantly they spread a bit wider as Melanie’s hips gave a small thrust. Even on the outside of Melanie’s pants, Reagan could feel how hot she was. Their mouths met eagerly as Melanie hoped this would finally be it. She’s waited so long for Reagan’s touch. Guiding Reagan’s hand between the folds of her zipper, Melanie whimpered, “Please.”

Neither of them heard the key in the door or noticed Melanie’s roommate until the overhead light came on. “Oh, sorry.” she said seeing them on the bed.

Reagan jumped away from Melanie but then cracked a smile. “We just can’t get any privacy, can we, Melanie?” Melanie slipped on her shirt quickly. “Well, I need to go.” Reagan stated standing.

Once she was gone, Melanie collapsed on her bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you two were here.” her roommate apologized.

Melanie just moaned. “God, I want her so much.”

“Well, it looks like you won her over finally. When did this happen?”

“Last Sunday. It’s been such a great week.”

Continued in Part Four

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