She arrived for the partner meeting that day and stumbled in ten minutes
late. All heads turned to her as she fell through the door still buzzed from
all the alcohol she had consumed over the weekend. “Alex, glad you could
join us.” Arthur mentioned.
“Sorry I’m late.” she mumbled dropping into a chair at the end of the
table. Her co-workers were assaulted by the stench of dirty clothes and
alcohol pouring off of her. Arthur furrowed his brow in displeasure and
confusion at his prized attorney. “Okay. We’ll go on now.” he said going
back to his original point. Alex fiddled around with her papers a moment
before mumbling to herself as she searched her jacket pockets in irritation.
The rustling broke Arthur’s attention again. Turning a scowl on Alex, he
asked, “What’s the problem, Alex?”
“I can’t find my damn glasses.” she grumbled.
Kelly dropped her head into her hands at Alex’s uncharacteristic behavior.
“They’re on top of your head, Alex.” she answered for the group.
“How in the hell did they get there?” Alex asked no on in particular.
“Alex, maybe I should get you a cup of coffee?” Kelly suggested.
“That’d be nice.”
“Hold the bourbon this time, Kelly. I don’t think Alex needs to be drinking
any more.” Arthur stated coming within smelling distance of Alex.
“Fuck off, Arthur.” Alex snapped glaring at him.
After a collective gasp from everyone, the room fell completely silent.
Arthur slowly made his way over to where Alex was sitting. Putting his hands
down on the table in front of her, he leaned over so they were nose to nose.
“Counselor Schreiber, you are dismissed from this meeting. I don’t want to
see you again until you’ve sobered up. I am going to excuse this horrendous
behavior on account of your wife leaving you, but if you ever cross me
again, Alex, there will serious consequences. Don’t force me to make you
take a leave of absence. It’s not good for you or us, but if you keep this
up, I’ll have no choice.”
Alex stood to her almost six feet and glared at the entire group. “Screw
it. I don’t need any of you, and I don’t want to be here any more if you
keep Victoria Schumann.”
“Ms. Schumann?” questioned Arthur.
“Yeah, Victoria! Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,
Arthur! If you knew Bren left me, then you know why! I’m sure Kelly fucking
told you the whole story!”
Arthur looked at Kelly and then back at Alex. “Alex, that part wasn’t any
of my business, but she did tell me. You don’t know how sorry we all are
that Bren left you, but I can’t let you be here like this.”
“The hell it isn’t your business! You knew this could happen! You even told
me so! Why didn’t you stop me?”
“Stop you? Alex, who you sleep with is none of my business! I couldn’t have
kept you from between Victoria’s thighs if I even tried! You wanted that ass
since you saw it, and now you’re paying the consequences! It’s not my fault
you can’t keep you trousers up! It’s also not my fault that Victoria keeps
her legs open and skirt up around her waist! I warned you, because I didn’t
want to see you get hurt, but you didn’t listen to me! You’re an adult,
Alex! You did what you damn well pleased!”
Silence continued to plague the room of attorneys as they just stared at
her in disappointment. Alex looked around the room at the shocked faces.
Trying to stand tall, she picked up her belongings. Turning to address her
audience, she mumbled dejectedly, “Well, now you all know. You’re golden
girl is nothing but a failure. I fucked the intern, and my Bren left me
because of it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in my office trying not to
screw up any other lives.”
Alex went into her office and slammed the door so loudly the windows shook.
Pulling open her filing cabinet, she grabbed the whiskey she kept hidden in
there and took a big swig directly from the bottle. Falling into her chair,
she started to cry. Alex spent the rest of the day alone in her office. No
one dared come in to speak to her, and she took no calls. As day turned to
night, Alex decided to stay at work, because she couldn’t bear to go home to
the emptiness. Pulling out the double bed from her foldout couch, Alex
crashed there for the night as the booze once again lulled her into
unconsciousness.
The next morning she awoke to a knocking on her door. “Go way.” she mumbled
not looking up.
“Alex, I want to talk to you for a minute.” Arthur stated.
Alex turned over and propped herself up on her elbow as he entered and
closed the door behind him. Coming over to her, he took a seat on the
foldout. “You know, Alex, I’ve always thought of you as more of my child
than employee. It’s true that I’ve made it known that you’re my go to girl.
I’ve given you breaks that no one else has gotten, but they were
well-deserved. It hurts me to see you like this.”
“Arthur, I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I was totally out of
line.”
“Yeah, you were, but even when you were cursing at me, I could see the pain
in your eyes. I said some things I didn’t mean as well. Your love life
really is none of my business, and it was wrong of me to chastize you about
it, especially in front of the other partners. As I said I feel like your
father at times, and my concerns are that of more than your boss. You mean
so much to me, Alex, as a employee and as a friend. I’m sorry that things
didn’t work out with Bren.”
“It’s my fault. You were right. I can’t keep my pants on. I let a woman
like Victoria destroy everything I ever wanted in my entire life. I could
blame her, but I know it’s my own doing. I am responsible for my own
downfall. Kelly would like to try to pin this on Victoria, but I know it’s
my own weakness. Victoria might be a temptress, but in the end, it was my
decision to go down that road. I’ll admit I didn’t think it through. If I
had Bren would still be here with me.”
“Well, you live and learn, Alex. I really don’t like seeing you this way.
To be frank you look like shit, and you smell even worse. I think it might
be a good idea for you to take some time off.”
“I don’t want to, Arthur. I can’t stand being in that house without her.”
“I know, but you have to understand that I can’t have you here at work
drunk, unbathed, and in general disarray. I think you need time to pull
yourself together.”
“Arthur, please don’t put me on leave. I need to work. It’s the only thing
I have left.”
Arthur sat in thought for a moment. “I’ll make you a deal. Half days for
awhile, and if you come in here drunk, know that I’m going to send you
home.”
Alex nodded. “Okay. I understand.”
“Good. Now why don’t you sleep this latest hang over off, and then when you
wake up, go home. I’ll have all your calls diverted for the rest of the day.
We’ll see you tomorrow, and we’ll try again. This is going to take time,
Alex. Let yourself work through the pain, and give yourself time to grieve.
That’s the only way you’ll be able to move on.”
“Hey, Arthur. May I ask you something?”
“What?”
“What are you going to do about Victoria?”
“Well, I think I’m going to let her finish her internship, because she only
has a few weeks left, but she’s been instructed not to come near you. When
she leaves I’m going to write her a recommendation for her to go anywhere
she wants, but she won’t be coming back here after graduation. We talked
about it yesterday. She has great skill, but we’re more interested in
keeping you on staff.”
Days drifted into weeks and then months without a word from Bren. Alex
checked in often with Bren’s mother but eventually stopped asking where she
could find the little blonde, knowing that she was keeping Bren from being
able to completely confide in her mother. Instead she would just ask if Bren
was doing all right and make sure that she was safe. Alex had the painful
process of having to cancel all the wedding plans, and then she threw
herself head first into all the work she could possibly manage in an effort
to alleviate her pain. She would often spend the night at the office and
work nonstop during the day. Even as much as her fellow co-workers expressed
their concern over her weight loss and general deterioration, she pressed on
to become even more of a powerhouse for her firm. The woman with the no
nonsense attitude became even more of a cutthroat, demolishing her
competition whenever she was in court. Even as much as she was rewarded with
accolades from her supervisors, she felt no real sense of satisfaction. She
only wanted everyone else to feel as miserable as she did.
Alex tried not to think about Bren, but at night when everything was quiet,
she couldn’t help her mind from drifting to the times she and Bren had spent
together. Alex replayed those four years of her life over and over in her
mind as if to burn them into her core, so she would never forget the one
woman who had captured her mind, heart, body, and soul. During those nights
alone, little to any one’s knowledge, she still found her strength at the
end of a bottle, but she knew in order to keep her job, she had to hide it,
so she found creative ways to sneak her alcohol into work.
The fall season passed with Alex hardly acknowledging it. It had always
been Bren’s favorite time of year. The younger woman used to love to drag
Alex out on strolls and long drives through the country when she could, and
even as much as Alex resisted at the time, she secretly cherished those
moments of being with her beloved in the cool, crisp weather watching the
wonder of the changing leaves.
As Thanksgiving approached Alex spent it with her family, but she wondered
where Bren was, hoping that she was spending time with her mother working on
their relationship. She had called up to New York once just to wish Bren’s
mother a good holiday, but she never asked if Bren was there, and the
information was never volunteered. Soon after was the Winter holiday party
for the company. Kelly convinced Alex to be her date, but when Kelly drove
them up the long drive of the country club, Alex’s thoughts were on what
should’ve taken place there that previous September. Alex had purposely
avoided the club even though she often golfed there with other partners.
When the valet took Kelly’s car, Alex dutifully extended her arm to her date
and escorted her inside.
All the same old people were there, but instead of socializing as Alex
usually was known for, she headed straight to the open bar where she
remained for most of the evening. The women that usually sought her out for
dances kept at bay much to her relief as she kept a firm grip on bourbon
bottle she had convinced the bartender to surrender. Alex simply looked out
over the dance floor not really seeing anyone as she thought of Bren. For
the previous four years the blonde had been her date to the function, and
she was feeling even more alone around her co-workers that evening, because
Bren was not by her side.
An hour into the party, the band curiously stopped playing, making Alex
look up from her glass. Seeing Arthur approaching the stage with champagne
in hand, Alex assumed this would be his traditional speech of how much he
appreciate everyone. Knowing she was expected to at least pretend to be
interested, Alex filled her glass with straight bourbon and moved in a
little closer to hear his speech. As she made her way near the dance floor,
Kelly took a place next to her. Alex wrapped her arm around Kelly’s
shoulders to support herself after more than half the bottle of whiskey.
Kelly smiled up at Alex cheerily before turning her attention to Arthur as
well.
“Well, thank you all for coming this evening. As usual this time of year is
for families and friends to come together to celebrate their relationships.
Tonight I just want all of you to know how much you mean to me. This
organization wouldn’t be what it was without caring individuals such as
yourselves, and I’m proud to call each of you a friend. This year has been
especially good for our firm, and for that reason I’m here to announce that
this year you all will be receiving a large bonus for your extra efforts.”
There was a chorus of cheering before Arthur settled the crowd.
“Additionally, there is one person I’d like to recognize tonight. She has
been with us for almost ten years and has been a junior partner for more
than five. During her time at the firm, she has paved the way for many women
in the industry and given us a name among the gay and lesbian community. She
was the first woman to ever become a partner at the firm, and tonight I want
Alex Schreiber to come up here to be recognized.” Alex looked at Arthur in
confusion as she made her way through the clapping crowd. As she reached the
stage, she hoisted herself up to stand next to Arthur. He smiled at her as
he said, “Alex, the firm owes you a great deal. You’ve been a leader from
day one, and you have the respect of your peers. You were the first woman to
become a junior partner, and as of this moment you’re our first female
senior partner. Congratulations, Alex.” he said extending his hand to her.
Alex’s eyes shot open in surprise. Taking his hand, she shook it before
embracing him in a one-armed hug. Turning to the audience, she said, “This
is certainly a surprise. I’m very honored. As many of you know, this year
has been a roller coaster for me. However I must say that it’s ending on a
positive note. I promise you all that I will continue to strive for the
better good of our clients and you, my fellow peers. This is a dream come
true for me, and I owe most of this to a woman who really helped me become
who I am today. Unfortunately she isn’t here with us, but I must mention her
anyway, Bren Worthington. Also I’d like to thank all of you for your
support. It’s always meant a great deal to me, and I hope in my new role I
can return that favor many times over. Thank you very much. I’ll make you
all proud.”
Alex hardly had a moment to think about Bren the rest of the evening as she
received congratulatory recognition from her fellow colleagues. However as
Kelly took Alex home, Alex’s mood became sullen again. “This has been quiet
a night, huh?” Kelly inquired, trying to get Alex’s mind off Bren.
“Yeah. I never expected this. It really was a surprise. I just wish Bren
would’ve been here to share in it. I miss her, Kelly.”
“I know you do. You haven’t spoken to her since she left, have you?”
“No. I keep in touch with her mother, and she updates me on what’s going on
in Bren’s life, but I haven’t spoken to her directly. I think that she was
at her mom’s for Thanksgiving, but when I called I didn’t talk to her. I
never thought my life would turn out this way, Kelly. I feel like I’ve
wasted four years of my life.”
“It wasn’t a waste. You’ve grown as a person tremendously. You said so
yourself tonight.”
“I just feel lost. The more time that goes by the less hope I have that
I’ll ever see her again much less get a chance to beg for forgiveness. I
just feel like the world has been pulled out from under me. This is the
ultimate defeat, and I’m not sure I’ll ever come back as strong as I was
when I was with her.”
“The other senior partners seem to think you have already.”
“Professionally maybe but personally I’m a disaster. I honestly don’t know
what I’m going to do. It’s getting harder and harder to keep going. Without
Bren I’m just a waste of space.”
“That’s not true, and you know it. The clients you help are grateful to you
for your assistance. Many people are in your debt for all that you’ve done,
Bren included, and if she doesn’t recognize that much, then she’s the fool.”
“I helped Bren, because I was in lust with her at first, but then I did it
out of love. I wanted her to be happy, even if it meant without me. I still
want that for her. She deserves the world, Kelly, but I failed to give it to
her.”
“No, you didn’t. You did give her the world, Alex, by giving her a chance
to dream, a chance to live. She’s a better woman for knowing you. There is
no way she could deny that.”
The next Monday Alex made the move from her office upstairs to the senior
partner floor. As she settled in to her new space, she thought about Bren.
She wished that Bren was there to share in the accomplishment as she looked
out over the city from her new widow. Glancing around her office, she took
in her amenities. Her office was twice as large as before with its own
private bathroom and fully stocked wet bar. Going over to the bar, Alex
began to fix herself a drink when there was a knock on her door.
Arthur poked his head in and stated, “No drinking during business hours,
Alex. Put it down.” Alex slowly set the beverage aside. “Good. Now the
senior partners have lunch waiting on you to officially recognize you in
your new position. Come on down to the board room. We’ll be discussing your
new role.”
Alex did as she was told. Going into the board room reserved only for the
senior partners, she was awarded the seat at the end of the table opposite
Arthur at the other side. Being that it was a working lunch, everyone put in
their opinions about how Alex should approach her new position. Alex just
took it in stride, knowing that she would do what she wanted as long as
Arthur approved.
January was especially cold that year. Alex had settled into her new role,
taking on only she cases she wanted and spending a lot of time with Kelly in
and out of the office. One afternoon she and Kelly were sitting in Alex’s
office discussing strategies for an upcoming case when Alex’s receptionist
poked her head in. “Alex, were you expecting anyone this afternoon? I didn’t
have any appointments scheduled, but there is a woman here to see you.”
“No. I wasn’t expecting anyone either. What’s her name? Can she come back?
We’re in the middle of something really important.”
“I’ll go check.” she said. Returning just a moment later, she stated, “The
lobby attendant said her name was Ms. Bren Worthington. Should I send her
away or have her sent up?”
Alex looked at Kelly as her heart hammered in her chest. It had been five
months since she had seen Bren. “Did she say what she wanted?”
“Business of a personal nature was all I was told. Do you want her to come
back later?”
Alex stared at Kelly. “Alex, be very careful. If you send her away, she
might not come back, but if you’re not ready to see her, you should tell
her.”
“I’m not ready, Kelly.”
“I’ll tell her to make an appointment.” Alex’s receptionist said beginning
to turn away.
“Wait. I have to see her. Even if I’m not ready, it might be my only
chance. I can’t risk her not returning after being gone so long. Send her
up, and hold all my calls.”
Once they were alone, Kelly asked, “Do you want me to stay or leave?”
“Stay, at least at first.”
“Okay.”
“How do I look?” inquired Alex standing to get an appraisal. She brushed
her hands over her shirt and slacks to rid them of wrinkles.
“You look fine. Just try to stay calm. Okay?”
The few minutes it took for Bren to arrive at Alex’s office seemed like an
eternity to Alex. She kept pacing the floor until the door opened. “Ms.
Worthington.” her secretary announced formally allowing Bren inside. Alex
just stared at Bren for a few minutes in astonishment.
Bren was wearing a long grey overcoat, lined with black faux fur around the
cuffs and neckline. Her hands were encased in black leather gloves, and she
had a black purse slung over her shoulder. Her hair had been cut drastically
shorter, coming to just lower than her chin, making her look more
sophisticated. Dark sunglasses were sitting on top of her head holding back
her blonde hair. Alex was temporarily struck mute at the sight before her,
the woman she loved looking so much more mature and worldly that she had
ever seen her.
Kelly broke the silence by standing. “Bren, it’s nice to see you again.”
she stated making her way over to shake Bren’s hand.
Bren took it and locked eyes with Kelly momentarily. “Good to see you too,
Kelly. I see you’re still playing Alex’s keeper.”
Kelly laughed lightly at Bren’s attempt at a joke. “Someone has to do it.
She’s lost otherwise. Well, I’ll just let you two talk.” Kelly looked at
Alex, who still hadn’t said a word and she just stared dumbfounded at the
sight of Bren. “Alex, you just let me know when you’re ready to continue
with this. I’ll be in my office.”
Alex shook the fog from her muddled brain enough to look at her associate.
“Yeah. Okay.”
She watched Kelly gather her things and leave before turning her attention
back to Bren. She still said nothing as she took in the vision before her.
Bren stood quietly looking around the office for a moment before asking,
“May I sit down?”
“Oh, yes. Of course. Here. Let me take your coat.” Alex said reaching
toward her. Bren let her slip it off. Alex’s senses were assaulted by Bren’s
perfume as she hung the coat on the rack. “Can I get you something to
drink?” she inquired looking at the blonde, who was now in a black pants
suit.
“No. I’m fine. Thank you.” Bren replied taking a seat on the client side of
Alex’s desk. Alex momentarily debated where to sit, opting for her desk
chair. They simply gazed at
each other thoughtfully a moment before Alex whispered, “You look amazing.”
Bren blushed slightly, turning her head downward to avoid Alex’s eyes.
“Thank you.” She looked back after a second. “You certainly look...
different.” she mentioned.
“Oh. Well, it’s the hair.” Alex said running her hand through graying
locks. They had begun to turn due to the stress she had experienced over the
last six months, but Alex saw no reason to color it, leaving her with
pronounced gray patches above her ears and framing her face.
“To say the least. It looks like you’ve lost about forty pounds, and I
don’t remember you having any you needed to lose in the first place.”
Alex shrugged. “Yeah. I guess I have lost a little weight. Not eating
enough I guess.” she mumbled.
“Forgive me for saying this, Alex, but you don’t look good. You’re not
taking care of yourself. You look ten years older than the last time I saw
you.”
“I feel even older than that. Are you sure I can’t get you a drink?” Bren
shook her head. “Mind of I have one then?”
“No. Go ahead.” Alex waded over to her bar and fixed a glass of whiskey. “A
little early, isn’t it?” Bren asked.
“It’s never too early.” Alex mumbled bringing the bottle with her back to
the desk.
Bren watched as Alex threw back three shots. “You’re drinking more than you
used to.”
Alex gave another shrug. “I don’t really know any more, but it seems to
have the numbing effect on my heart that I’ve been looking for the last half
year.” she explained studying the contents of her glass carefully.
After another awkward pause, Bren asked, “Do you want to know why I’m
here?”
“I’m not sure.” Alex answered truthfully. “If it’s to show me how well off
you are now that you’ve broken my spirit, then no. I’d just like to sit here
and look at you for awhile and memorize your beauty before you go dashing
out of my life permanently.”
Being thrown off by Alex’s comment, Bren flushed again at the compliment.
“Alex, I wanted to talk to you about what happened. After everything we’ve
been through, I know you deserve that much. I just haven’t been able to face
you until now, and right now I’m beginning to think it was still too soon.”
Alex just sat waiting for her to continue. “Alex, may I ask you something
that’s been on my mind for the last five months?” When Alex shrugged, Bren
inquired, “Why did you do it? Didn’t I make you happy?”
“Bren, you made me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I did
it out of my own stupidity. It was the most God awful mistake I have ever
made, and I regret it daily.”
“May I ask how it happened?”
“If I can ask you how you found out.”
“Victoria told me over the phone. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but
then she told me about the scratches on your back. That’s when I knew she
was telling me the truth. It wasn’t me that did it. It was her. I was so
hurt by that.”
“I knew it. Kelly and I pieced it together that way. I guess to really
understand what happened I should explain the nature of the relationship
Victoria and I had. The first day she started here she was flirting with me.
I’ll admit that I was attracted to her from the beginning, but I put a stop
to it, knowing that to let her continue would be harmful to both of us. She
was really upset with the way I handled things, and we fought every time we
saw each other until the company picnic. You see Victoria and I were very
much like magnets. When you place two of them together, they repel each
other harshly, but if you flip them over, they are attracted so strongly.
Once we had called a truce and changed our ways, the attraction was back as
strong as ever. We were spending a lot of time together, sometimes after
hours alone. The undercurrent of attraction was always there, but we never
talked about it.” Alex paused and broke her gaze with Bren. She concentrated
on pouring herself another drink for a moment. Raising the glass she looked
at the brown liquid as she continued. “The night Victoria got mugged our
relationship had reached a crossroads. We had been working here late and
alone. I felt miserable, because I had a headache that wouldn’t go away. I
was sitting on the couch trying to relax when I felt her begin to massage my
temples. I should have pulled away, but I didn’t. It just felt so good. Next
thing I knew we were kissing. I don’t know how long we kissed. It felt like
forever but probably was only a minute before I pulled back. I apologized,
saying that I couldn’t do that to you even as much as my body wanted to. I
think we were both embarrassed by our actions, because she wanted to leave.
I asked her to wait and let me walk her to the garage, but she wanted to get
out of there right away. Well, I found her in the garage a little bit later.
That part you know. I invited her to stay at our house, because she was
scared, but she said no. I think it was because you were there. Anyway, we
went to her place where I stayed the night. I fully intended to sleep on the
couch, but she begged me to hold her until she fell asleep. That’s how I
ended up in her bed. Sometime later I awoke, realizing I had fallen asleep
next to her. I tried to move, but she was in the middle of a nightmare and
clutching to me. She awoke screaming, so I calmed her down. At that point
things just began to happen. I don’t know who kissed who first, and it
doesn’t really matter. We were in bed dressed in only skimpy pajamas with
emotions on overload. We were like two wild animals. It was fast and furious
but without a real connection. It couldn’t have lasted more than fifteen
minutes. Guess I fucked her like the bitch she really was.” snidely Alex
remarked chugging back her bourbon. Bren just sat silently watching, but
Alex’s eyes focused on the far wall of her office. “When it was over, I knew
for certain that life as I knew it was forever changed. I ruined it!
Everything I ever wanted slipped from my hands when I got out of Victoria’s
bed that morning! I fucked up my life!” she spat angrily throwing her glass
against the wall as hard as she could. It hit with a thud before falling to
the floor and shattering. Bren yelped in surprise. Alex leaned forward in
her chair, hands covering her face as she began to cry. “Not a day goes by
that I didn’t wish I was dead.”
A moment of silence passed before Bren mentioned, “So that’s what this is
about? This not eating and excessive drinking? You’re torturing yourself
until you die?”
Alex shrugged. “Why not? I deserve it. I lost the one thing that means more
to me than anything else in this entire world, Bren. Without you there is no
reason to live. I have nothing without you.”
“You have your new job as senior partner.”
“That only serves as a reminder of what a screw up I really am. They
promoted me out of pity, Bren. They wanted me to take time off, and they
knew I wouldn’t do it as a junior partner. They’ve been pressuring me to
take a leave of absence, but I refuse. They want me to get out of the office
for awhile, but I have no where I want to go. Our home sits empty. I only go
there once a week to pack up new clothes. I live here at the office now.
It’s the only place in which I find any kind of peace but even then it’s
only temporary.”
“Alex, as much as you hurt me, you don’t deserve to drink yourself to
death. I’m sorry that you’re hurting now, but I’m hurting too. You don’t see
me taking it out on myself.”
“You’re not the one who did anything wrong, Bren. You were nothing but the
perfect bride-to-be. I found no greater joy than being with you. There’s
nothing in this world that compares to being in your arms, listening to
those little mewing sounds of yours when you stretched in the morning or
your cries of passion when we made love. Nothing compares to watching you
sleep or reading a book, or the late night conversations after one of your
fabulous dinners. I’d never find that again with anyone else, and I don’t
want to. I want you or nothing, but nothing is a lonely way to live. I would
do anything in this world to win you back, Bren, but I know I don’t deserve
another chance.” Alex said meeting the blonde’s eyes again.
Bren was quiet for a moment. “You know, Alex, when this first happened, I
loved you and hated you with equal intensity. I’ve never been hurt so badly
than when I found out what you did, including when my mother threw me out
onto the street. For the past five months I’ve tried to work through all
this in my mind and heart, and finally the hate has receded. The pain is
still there but so is the love. You’ve done more for me in kindness than
anyone else in this world, and I can never forget that. Regardless of what
happened between us as a couple, you did open your home and heart to me for
four years. During that time you shelled out hundreds of thousands of
dollars to pay for anything and everything I ever wanted or needed. For that
reason alone, I could never go on hating you. You were my friend then, and
I’d still like to think of you as my friend now.”
“Friend, huh? Well, I guess I could try that, but you know that’s not what
I want.”
“I know, but I don’t think I have it in me to go back to the way we were
before. There’s just too much pain and loss of trust, but I’d like to try to
regain some of that. After all this time, I would hate to lose you from my
life permanently. I want to see if we can be friends again.”
Alex nodded as she contemplated it for a moment. Bren was offering her a
chance for them to possibly see each other more often. Alex knew she would
love to see Bren but wondered if she could emotionally handle not being able
to have more with the younger woman. “I’m willing to try, Bren, but I can’t
guarantee that my emotions won’t get in the way. I still love you, and I
still wish we could be together. I don’t know if I can move beyond that or
if I want to.”
“I understand. If your feelings get in the way too much, I’ll tell you. I
don’t want this to be painful for either of us. If it gets to be more than
either of us can bear, we’ll stop. I just thought it was worth a try.”
Alex hesitantly nodded. “So, when do we try it?” she asked curiously.
“What about right now? I know you haven’t eaten lunch. Why don’t we have
lunch before I have to go back to work?”
Alex thought a moment before replying, “Okay. Lunch it is.” Alex went over
to the coat rack to retrieve their coats. Holding Bren’s out for her, she
helped Bren slip it on before leading the way out of the office. Stopping by
her receptionist’s desk, Alex stated, “I’m going out for awhile. Tell Kelly
that Bren and I went to lunch if she calls looking for me.”
With that Alex stoically made her way down the hall. She knew she was
receiving curious glances from peers at Bren’s presence, especially since
their breakup had been made public knowledge by Alex’s frequent outbursts at
work when Bren first left. Once they were in the elevator, Alex asked where
Bren wanted to eat. Bren suggested the Chinese place that Alex loved so
much, so they quietly walked the few blocks to the small restaurant. After
placing their orders, Alex regarded the woman across from her. Bern looked
totally radiant, except for the small hint of sadness that Alex could see
her trying desperately to hide.
“So, why don’t you tell me about your job?” Alex suggested, trying to
figure out what to say.
“Well, I work for a local non-profit that organizes after school programs
for kids to help them stay off the street. It’s fun. I get to spend some
time with the kids.”
“They certainly have an asset in you.” Alex mentioned. “That’s good that
you’re enjoying it. Where are you living now?”
“Actually I still live in Arlington. Some friends of mine own a house there
and are letting me rent out their basement apartment. I like it. It’s kind
of nice having my own space after sharing with friends the last four
months.”
“Gives you a quiet place to read anyway.” Alex said.
Bren nodded. “What about you? What have you been up to?”
“Absolutely nothing other than work. Popular opinion is that I work too
hard and too long, but that’s the only thing there is for me to do in my
life. I don’t socialize with anyone in particular except for Kelly. Every
once in awhile she forces me out into the real world, but I prefer just to
stay and wade around in my legal books all night. You can never be too
prepared in my business.” After a pause Alex decided to be brave and ask the
question plaguing her mind. “Are you... seeing anyone these days?” The
hesitation in Bren’s response gave her the answer that she had hoped
against.
“Well, I have started dating again a little. There is someone that I’ve
seen several times now, but I’d hardly consider it serious.”
Alex sat straighter in her seat. Pulling her professional impartial mask
over her features, she said. “I see. Well, what’s her name? What’s she
like?”
Brens shifted uncomfortably for a moment. “Well, her name is Cassidy, and
she’s twenty-seven. She’s a pilot for a small private airliner.”
“How did you meet?”
“At a New Year’s party. She’s a friend of a friend.” Bren mumbled.
“Are you interested?”
Bren looked at Alex for a moment before changing the subject. “So, what
about you and Kelly? Are you two...”
“No.” firmly Alex replied. “Kelly and I are just friends. You just get to a
certain point in a relationship where it has to take a definite direction.
That’s the way Kelly’s and my relationship has gone. We’re friends, and that
is all we’ll ever be. Although sometimes she seems like a girlfriend with
the way she nags at me.”
“She’s just concerned about you is all.”
Alex shrugged in response. The rest of lunch was filled with awkward small
talk, but Alex did enjoy looking at Bren during their visit. It had been so
long since she had seen the little blonde, and she had missed her face and
voice. At the end of the meal, Alex paid for the both of them even though
Bren objected. Once the meal was over, Alex walked Bren back to her car.
“Well, thank you for the visit today, Bren. I had missed you.”
“Listen. My friends that live above me and I are having a Super Bowl party
on Sunday. Would you like to come?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t want to be in the way.”
“You won’t be. It’s my party, and I’m inviting you. You can bring Kelly if
you want. Come on. It’ll be fun.”
“Are you sure you want me to come?” Alex asked looking for reassurance that
the invitation was genuine.
“Yes, I want you to come, and I want you to bring Kelly with you. Will
you?”
“Okay if you want me to.”
“Great. I’ll call you later this week to give you directions. Don’t think
about backing out either. I’ll talk to you later. Thanks for lunch.”
Alex watched as Bren unlocked her car door and then held it open for the
younger woman. She stood in the flurrying snow as Bren pulled away in her
car before heading back up to her office. As soon as she got in, she called
Kelly, who came rushing upstairs to see how things went. “Bren wants us to
go to a Super Bowl party at her place this Sunday. I can’t go without you,
Kelly. Please tell me your free.”
Kelly shook her head. “I’ll go but only because you are desperate.”
“Thank you.”
“Now tell me how things went.”
“Awkwardly.”
“Well, was there screaming, crying, laughter, what? Give me more than
that.”
“Yes, there was some screaming by me but at myself. There wasn’t any crying
or laughter. We simply made small talk at lunch. I did tell her that I was
sorry, that I loved her and wanted her back, though.”
“What did she say?”
“Nothing except she didn’t think she could go back to the way it was, but
she wanted to try to be friends again. I let her know that I wasn’t sure I
could do that, but I would try.”
“Did you talk about Victoria?”
“Yes. She wanted to know how and why it happened, and I told her. I don’t
really know what I was expecting to happen. Part of me hoped that she would
forgive me and come running back, but the other part of me knew that was too
much to hope for. I guess I got lucky in the fact that she wants to be
friends with me after what happened.”
“Well, maybe you can be friends for awhile, and then it may lead you back
to being a couple again. I guess only time will tell.”
“I don’t know about the couple part. She’s got a new girlfriend. I asked. I
just wanted to know where I stood, and she told me, friends or nothing. I
said I’d try friends even though I know that’s not going to work in the long
run.”
“You can’t give up, Alex. Just take it a step at a time. Obviously she
still cares about you or else she wouldn’t have come here today. Use that to
your advantage. We’ll get a better idea about where you stand at this
party.”
Alex and Kelly and got the Bren’s place around four that afternoon. When
Bren answered the door, she smiled at them both allowing them to come
inside. Alex held firmly to Kelly’s hand like a lifeline. Bren made
introductions to the people already there and then offered them drinks. Alex
followed Bren into the kitchen for beverages.
“I’m so glad you and Kelly came today, but with the way you’re hanging on
her, it sure does seem like you’re a couple.” Bren mentioned.
“We’re not. I’m just not quite comfortable with this yet. I need at least
one ally in the room.”
Bren gave a tentative smile. “I don’t consider you my enemy, Alex. If I did
you wouldn’t be here. By the way in hopes that you would come, I bought you
your favorite whiskey. Everyone else drinks beer, but I thought it might
entice you to stay longer.”
“That’s nice of you. Thanks.”
Bren prepared the two drinks before handing them to Alex to take to the
living room. Handing Kelly hers, Alex took a seat next to her and linked
hands with her co-worker again. Kelly did most of the talking with people
with Alex being an attentive listener, but her thoughts were mainly with
Bren. She kept on the opposite side of the room talking with other friends.
However once the game began, everyone seemed more interested in that than
talking, giving Alex a chance to feel more relaxed. Even though Alex was
involved in the game, her eyes kept straying to Bren every few moments. Bren
was curled up in an oversized chair next to a woman Alex recognized as a
friend of hers from college, but it seemed as if every time Alex looked over
at her, Bren was looking back.
More than half way through the game there was a knock on the door. Bren
jumped up to get it and within a moment admitted a woman almost as tall as
Alex with black hair and dark eyes. It was obvious that the woman was in
incredible shape even under her bulky winter wear, and she was smiling
brightly at Bren.
“Cass, hey! What are you doing here?” Bren asked excitedly throwing herself
into Cass’ open arms for a hug.
“My flight was canceled due to the weather, so I figured I couldn’t leave
my favorite girl without a date to her own party.” Cassidy answered leaning
down for a kiss.
Alex noticed that the kiss was met with rigidity by Bren but seemed to go
unnoticed by everyone else as Cassidy quickly pulled away and greeted
everyone. “Um, I guess you know everyone but Alex and Kelly.” Bren said
pointing over to where they were sitting on the couch.
Cassidy gave a friendly wave before heading to the coat closet. She then
took a seat on the floor at Bren’s feet once Bren had settled in her chair
again. Alex couldn’t watch the game after that. Her eyes kept drifting to
Bren. Bren was looking back with equal intensity. Alex could see her
nervousness whenever Alex looked toward Cassidy.
After awhile Alex went into the kitchen for another drink. She was only in
there a moment before she heard someone else enter. Turning she saw her
competition. “So, you must be the Alex?” she asked conversationally.
“You mean Bren’s ex? Yeah. That’s me.”
Cassidy grinned. “Well, I have to thank you for letting her go. She really
is something else and pretty as hell. That woman fills my fantasies.” Alex
just rolled her eyes and sighed as she poured her drink. “Hey, where did you
find that whiskey?” Cassidy inquired.
“Oh, Bren bought it for me, knowing it was my favorite. You want some?”
Alex lightly taunted.
Before Cassidy could reply, Kelly came waltzing in the kitchen. “Honey,
come back to the game. You’re missing good stuff.” she said wrapping her
arms around Alex’s waist.
Alex immediately fell into role, knowing what Kelly was doing. “In a minute
sweetheart. Do you want something else to drink?”
“No. I’ll be fine as long as you come back and cuddle with me on the couch.
Hurry back.” she stated kissing Alex’s cheek.
Cassidy smiled at Kelly’s retreating form. “You have quite a woman there.”
she mentioned.
“She is a good woman.” Alex agreed, deciding not to correct Cassidy’s
misconception. “Well, I must get back. Have a shot of that whiskey. It’s
good stuff.”
Alex returned to the game and continued to snuggle with Kelly. She noticed
that Cassidy returned a few moments later with a glass of whiskey instead of
beer. The rest of the evening passed with very little talk between Bren and
Alex. Instead Alex focused on Cassidy, trying to learn about the woman that
threatened her plan of winning Bren back. Cassidy was friendly and open to
Alex, oblivious to the true nature of Alex’s intentions. The more Alex
conversed with her, the more she realized why Bren liked her and found
herself begrudgingly liking the pilot.
When Kelly and Alex left that night, Bren walked them out to their car.
Kelly thanked Bren for the invitation before getting into the car, leaving
Bren and Alex standing alone for a moment. “Well, thanks for letting us come
over. It was fun.” Alex said shifting on her feet nervously.
“I’m glad you came.” After a pause she asked, “Are you sure you and Kelly
are just friends?”
“Yeah, I promise. Kelly was just doing that to make me feel better about
being here. It felt awkward for me for everyone to know I was the ex.”
“I guess I understand that. I guess it’s going to take some time to get
used to this.”
“Yeah but I’d like to keep trying.”
“Me too.” Bren answered confidently.
“Great. Well, we should go. May I call you later this week? We could go out
and do something.”
“Sounds good. I look forward to it.”
Over the next few months Alex and Bren formed a tentative friendship. They
got together every couple of weeks either alone or in the company of Kelly
and Cassidy. As much as Alex wanted Bren back, she found herself really
coming to like Cassidy as a person, making it more difficult for her to try
to undermine the woman’s feelings toward Bren.
Late that spring the four of them decided to take a trip to Rehobeth Beach
in Delaware for a extended weekend. Alex had given Bren full reign in making
the arrangements, and when Alex’s fellow senior partners found out she was
planning time away from the office, they were thrilled and encouraged her to
take even more vacation. However the Thursday afternoon that Kelly and Alex
were supposed to leave, Kelly had to stay late in court. Since they had
planned to leave straight from there, Alex was present when the judge
convened for the day to pick it up on Friday. As everyone filed out of the
courtroom, Kelly frowned at Alex.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I really thought this case would be over today. I wish I
could go with you.”
“It’s all right. I know how it is. Work comes first.”
“
Are you going to be okay with seeing Bren and Cassidy as a couple without
me?”
“Whether I am or not, it looks like I have to do this one on my own. Don’t
worry about it. You just concentrate on this case.”
“I’ll give you a call tomorrow to give you an update. Hopefully I can make
it up for the weekend.”
“I hope so too. Talk to you then.”
All the way up to the beach Alex tried to prepare herself for seeing Bren
and Cassidy. However when she arrived, she was surprised to see Bren there
by herself sitting on the front porch of the beach house they had rented for
the long weekend. Coming to a stop next to Bren’s car, Alex got out with a
questioning brow. “Hey there.” she greeted.
“Hi. Where’s Kelly?” Bren inquired.
“She had to stay behind. She thought her case would be over today, but it
wasn’t. She hopes she can be here by tomorrow. Where’s Cass?”
“She had to work too at the last minute. I don’t think she’s going to come
at all now.”
“Oh, too bad. She’s going to miss a great weekend. The weather is supposed
to be perfect.”
“I know. I look forward to a little beach time. I was just waiting on you
to get here. I hadn’t run to the store or anything. I wasn’t sure what to
get.”
“Well, let me just unload my bags, and I’ll accompany you. I don’t think
we’ll need much for three people.” Alex grabbed her bag out of the trunk
before asking, “Did you pick the room you wanted yet?”
“No. I figured we would talk about it when you got here. With you and Kelly
being the wealthy ones, I figured you’d take the master bedroom, and I’d
take the other one.”
“If that’s what you want, but I don’t care either way. If you want the
master, you can have it.”
“I don’t think so. There’s a king bed in there, and if Cassidy does come,
I’m not sure I want to have to share it with her.”
“Oh. Okay. I just assumed that wouldn’t be a problem. I’ll take it then
to make you more comfortable.” Alex stated making her way up to the bedroom,
sporting a huge grin when she had turned from Bren’s gaze. She was elated to
no end to know that Bren and Cassidy’s relationship hadn’t progressed that
far. Going up to the master, she dropped her bags on the bed before going
out to the deck. “Wow. Have you seen this view?” she called out to Bren.
“It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? Well, maybe we should get to the store
before it closes. We only have about half an hour or so.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
Alex drove them down to the local grocery store to pick up their weekend
supplies before heading back to the house. After unloading everything, Alex
opened the bottle of bourbon she had brought with her and offered Bren some.
Bren declined but watched as Alex nursed a couple of drinks while they sat
on the deck overlooking the water. Being that they both had arrived fairly
late that night, they only stayed up for a few hours, heading to their
separate rooms a little after one in the morning with promises to head to
the beach together after breakfast.
Alex left her deck doors open that night to listen to the waves as she
settled to sleep. Even as relaxing as the lulling sounds were, Alex was wide
awake, knowing that Bren was just next door. She could imagine Bren in one
of the double beds in light sleeping attire. Alex let her mind wander,
envisioning Bren in the little white tank top and red and white stripe
shorts she had bought her for Valentine’s Day her senior year of college.
She remembered the first time she saw them on the little blonde that
following summer. The shorts were cut high enough to accentuate the
curvature of her posterior, and the tank top exposed some of her abdomen and
had a large red heart that sat perfectly centered between her breasts,
further emphasizing her cleavage. Alex grinned to herself as she recalled
the frisky night Bren had worn the outfit to bed. Vivid images took hold in
Alex’s mind of the many times she made love to Bren until she eventually
drifted to sleep.
Alex awoke the following morning to the smell of food. Rising from bed, she
padded into her bathroom to brush her teeth and freshen up before going
downstairs. As she turned the corner, she saw Bren standing over the stove
in a pair of navy and green boxer shorts and navy tank top. Alex stared at
her a moment, knowing Bren was unaware of her presence, as she thought of
the times she had awakened to Bren making her breakfast. Finally Alex
whispered, “Good morning. Something smells good.”
Bren jumped slightly at the voice but turned and gave a demure smile. “I
thought the smell of your favorite chocolate pancakes might get you up.”
Alex moved in closer to her, wanting desperately to wrap her arms around
Bren’s waist and nuzzle into the younger woman’s hair but settled for
leaning into Bren’s back until they were barely touching. “You make the best
pancakes. I can’t wait.”
Bren looked up over her shoulder giving Alex another smile and longer gaze.
“Why don’t you set the table for us and get the juice?” she suggested.
Alex gave a mock salute and smile. “Private Schreiber reporting for kitchen
duty, ma’am. I am at your service.”
Bren gave a sultry smile as she turned toward Alex. “Well, you better
getting going, Private, unless you are partial to punishment for disobeying
orders.”
“Maybe I am.” Alex teased. As she turned to go to the refrigerator, she
felt the smack of the plastic spatula lightly against her backside. “Oh.”
Alex moaned rubbing the spot as if had hurt her, but then she broke out into
a grin. “Thank you, Rear Admiral Worthington.” she joked.
Bren laughed. “You are so bad sometimes.”
Breakfast was full of easy banter. Once it was over they both cleaned the
kitchen and then headed to their rooms to get ready for the beach. Alex was
finished first and waited on the back porch for Bren. When Bren stepped out
of the house, Alex felt her breath catch. It had seemed like forever since
she had seen Bren in a bikini. The blonde was wearing blue gingham two-piece
that left little to the imagination. Alex was glad that she was wearing her
sun glasses, so she could peruse Bren’s body undetected. Even as beautiful
as Alex thought her ex had been when they were together, she thought her
even more beautiful now. It was obvious that Bren had started working out
regularly, the soft contours of her body having given way to lean, toned
muscle. Alex’s eyes scanned down Bren’s form, taking in the still large but
firmer breasts and barely noticeable six pack of her stomach.
“You ready?” Bren inquired breaking Alex’s eyes from her inspection.
“Yeah.” she mumbled standing and following Bren toward the sand. Alex let
her eyes look down at Bren’s posterior, mesmerized by the way the muscles
flexed as Bren walked. Inwardly Alex groaned as the sexy vision before her.
Her Bren had come to look more like a woman and less like a girl over the
months they had been apart, and Alex could feel her resolve slipping. She
thought she had begun to get a handle on their friendship, at least
outwardly, but seeing Bren this way, made Alex’s knees weak in wanton
desire. Knowing she couldn’t say anything, Alex simply placed her towel down
next to Bren’s and laid down.
Being on a semi-private area of the beach just north of the strip allowed
them some more quiet and privacy that they both enjoyed. As they settled
down, Alex removed her own t-shirt, revealing her two-piece suit, more
conservatively cut to suit her style. The top was like a sports bra with the
bottoms more like athletic shorts than a more traditional bikini. Bren
looked over at her as she folded her shirt.
“Looks like you are starting to gain that much needed weight back.” she
mentioned beginning to lather lotion over her arms.
“Yeah, I guess. It helps to have a good cook like you feeding me every once
in awhile. Those chocolate chip pancakes definitely put on a few pounds. I
could eat those every morning.”
They both began the process of putting on suntan lotion, but then Bren
asked for help reaching her back. As Alex moved in behind her to assist her,
Bren handed her the bottle. Alex rubbed the lotion in her hands for a moment
to warm it as she gazed over Bren’s back. In their new relationship, Alex
and Bren’s physical contact had been minimal, Alex never getting a chance to
touch her for more than a fleeting moment. However she now delighted in the
opportunity to feel Bren’s smooth, soft skin under her hands. Alex took her
time in thoroughly rubbing the lotion into Bren’s back. Even after it had
disappeared into the young woman’s skin, Alex kept up the light caressing,
taking in the wondrous feeling of Bren’s body.
Alex was only brought out of her trance when Bren asked, “Do you want me to
get your back now?”
“Yeah. Sure.” she whispered, not trusting her voice to remain neutral. Alex
took a seat on her towel. She closed her eyes as she concentrated on Bren’s
hands making long strokes along her back. Her heart was hammering in
excitement as her ex rubbed the lotion into her skin. However it also
twinged in sadness that she couldn’t feel those same hands touching her
intimately again. When she couldn’t take it any more, she gently nudged Bren
away mumbling, “Thanks.” Bren nodded, but Alex thought she saw the tiniest
hint of disappointment in the blonde’s features.
The morning passed in silence for the most part, each of them absorbed in
their books and thoughts. When it was lunch time, they decided to walk down
to the boardwalk for food. Alex noticed the looks women were giving Bren,
who seemed oblivious, as they strolled down to the end of the strip
examining their options before deciding on Mexican food.
The afternoon passed slowly as the two of them absorbed the sun in
quietness. Every once in awhile Alex would sneak a peek at Bren, who was so
completely engrossed in her book that she never noticed the prolonged
stares. When Alex had finally had enough, she inquired, “What are we going
to do tonight for dinner? I’m starting to get hungry.”
Bren shrugged. “We didn’t really buy dinner food. We could go out or go
back to the store. Have anything special in mind?”
“Let’s go out. Did you bring any nice clothes or just casual stuff?”
“I brought one nice outfit. Why?”
“There’s a restaurant I want to take you to if I can get a reservation for
us. I should go in and call them. Sound good to you?”
“Yeah. I’ll be right in. I just want to finish this chapter.”
Alex went off to make her phone call, leaving Bren on the beach. The
restaurant she wanted to take Bren to didn’t have any open reservations for
that night, so she booked one for Saturday night instead before heading up
to the shower. She had just finished when she heard the knock on her bedroom
door. She threw on a tight tank top since her towel was already secured
around her waist and opened the door. She saw Bren’s eyes sweep her body in
surprise, settling on her loose breasts longer than necessary before meeting
her gaze.
“Um, so, what’s the word?” she recovered.
“Oh. They’re booked tonight, so I got us a reservation for tomorrow if
that’s okay with you.”
“Sure. I was just wondering, so I knew what to wear. I’m going to go ahead
and shower now. I’ll be ready in about half an hour. Oh, and by the way, I
talked to Cassidy while you were in the shower. She’s not coming up at all.”
“Oh. Okay.” Alex answered watching Bren walk away, admiring her as she
heading toward her own room. As soon as Alex closed her own door, she rushed
over to her cell phone to call Kelly.
“Hey, Alex. What’s up?”
“Are you on your way up here yet?”
“No. I actually was about to call you.”
“Listen. Bren and I are here alone. Cassidy canceled on us. She won’t be
coming up here at all. I know this was meant to be a long weekend for you
too, but I was wondering...”
“You want to be alone with her.” Kelly stated.
“Sort of. Yeah. I don’t want to uninvite you, Kelly. It’s just that things
are going so well right now.”
“Yeah? Meaning like you think you might have a chance to reconcile? That
kind of going well?”
“It’s too soon to say but maybe I have shot. I now know that she and
Cassidy haven’t had sex together. That has to be a good sign. She’s not
ready to make that commitment yet.”
“So, you think you still have a chance then?”
“I have to find out, Kelly. We’ve had a great day together. She was so
playful this morning, and I saw her looking at me a couple of times in a
more than friendly manner.”
“Oh, Alex. You know I love you when I let you talk me out of much needed
beach time. Well, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll stay home, but you have to make
it up to me.”
“Anything you want. Just name it, Kelly.” Alex said hopefully.
“Win that woman back, Alex. That’s enough for me as well as let me go use
your pool.”
“Yeah. Have at the pool if you want. I have a spare key for the house in my
desk. Feel free to hang out. Thanks, Kelly. This means a lot to me.”
“Alex, be careful. If you think you have a chance, don’t ruin it by being
too aggressive. You two have a lot to work on, but it doesn’t hurt to let
her know where you stand.”
Over dinner that night, Alex informed Bren that Kelly wouldn’t be able to
make it up to the beach that weekend either. Bren took it in stride, just
giving a smile and saying it was too bad she couldn’t come. After their meal
Bren wanted to go to a club, so Alex relented even though she felt too old
for such events. She remembered the time on Bren’s birthday that she got a
chance to be with her at a club and figured it might not be all bad.
The club was packed with locals and tourists. Even though the crowd was
mostly gay men, there were a fair amount of women of different styles
hanging around. Alex was extremely aware of the women eying Bren as they
waded over to the bar for drinks. It was only a few minutes before the first
woman approached the blonde, asking her to dance. Bren looked to Alex for a
second before agreeing to dance with the stranger, leaving Alex alone by the
bar. Alex watched Bren move in time with the woman, their bodies at a
respectable distance for Alex’s comfort. Several songs passed with Alex
being the observer before a touch to her arm brought her out of her musings.
Turning she saw a perky petite red-head smiling up at her. Alex gave her own
smile.
“Hi there.” the woman offered shyly.
“Hello.”
“Would you like to dance?”
Alex sensed that the young woman was nervous about asking her, but seeing
as she didn’t have a reason to refuse, she gave a sexy grin. “Sure.” she
replied extending her hand. Taking the smaller woman to the floor, Alex
began to dance with her. “So, what’s your name?” she asked politely.
“Noel. What’s yours?”
“Alex. Nice to meet you, Noel. You a local?”
“Only during the summer. During the year I go attend NYU.”
“New York, huh? I love New York.”
They danced silently for a little bit, but Alex kept her eyes on Bren for
the most part. Finally Noel inquired, “She is your girlfriend?”
“No, my ex actually. She’s from New York too.”
“I take it by the way you’re ogling her that it wasn’t a mutual break up.”
“No. She left me, because I was an asshole. Good for her. Bad for me.” Alex
stated with a partially joking grin.
“You jest, but you still want her anyway.”
Alex gave a hesitant nod. “No offense to you of course.” she said.
“None taken. If you feel that strongly, you should let her know.”
“I’m working on it, but she’s not shown me that she’s receptive to another
shot with me. She deserves the best.”
“She’s lucky to have such an admirer.”
“Enough about her for now. Let’s dance.”
Bren and Alex spent several hours at the bar that night. Alex danced with a
few different women, but to her it seemed as if Bren was the most popular
woman there with the constant flow of women trying to dance with or talk to
her. Alex tried her best not to feel jealous of all the attention being paid
to Bren, but she couldn’t help wondering if any of these women could offer
the blonde something better than she, making her slightly uneasy. Leaning
into the bar sipping a drink and overlooking the situation, Alex felt a hand
on her back again. When she turned she saw Noel standing behind her again.
“Hello again. May I buy you a drink?”
“Sure. Whatever is fine. Thanks.”
Alex nodded before signaling the bartender. “So, to what do I owe the
pleasure of a second visit this evening?”
“You just looked like you could use some company. I can tell this is really
bothering you.”
“It’s something I have to learn to live with.”
After a moment Noel asked, “Can I tell you something?”
Alex shrugged. “Sure. What?”
Noel flushed slightly as she admitted, “I’m totally attracted to you.
You’re so sexy, so I don’t know why I want to play matchmaker between you
and your ex, but I have to tell you, Alex, that I think you should go after
that woman with all you have. It’s so obvious you love her. Love like that
is hard to find. You can’t let it go without a fight.”
“Thanks, Noel, for the compliments and encouragement. I want her back so
badly.”
“Then why don’t you start by dancing with her? You haven’t asked her to
dance once.”
“You’re right. Maybe I should.” With confidence Alex made her way through
the sea of grinding bodies over to where Bren was dancing with someone.
Smiling politely she asked to cut in. She was met with reluctance from
Bren’s dance partner, but Bren nodded enthusiastically, moving in closer to
Alex.
As Bren danced in front of her, Alex zoned out everything and everyone
around them. The blonde had always been able to acquire Alex’s full
attention when she danced. The way she moved sensually to the beat made
Alex’s excitement grow as she dared to step in closer, so they were slightly
brushing into each other’s bodies. Bren responded accordingly and soon they
had their arms around each other. Bren didn’t look up into Alex’s eyes now
that they were so close, but the feeling of Bren’s breasts and hips grinding
with her own was slowly driving Alex over the edge. Several songs passed
before the music slowed into a lover’s dance. Even though Alex wanted to
keep moving with Bren, she thought it best to try to pull back. However Bren
didn’t let go of her, forcing them to gently sway with the music. Bren
placed her head against Alex’s shoulder as they moved together in time with
the seductive beat. Alex knew Bren could feel her heart thumping erratically
in her chest at being so close, and she felt Bren’s uneven breathing as Bren
snuggled in further.
All to soon the beat picked up again, and Alex reluctantly pulled away.
Their eyes finally met, but neither of them said anything at first. Finally
Alex found her voice, inquiring, “Would you like another drink?” Bren nodded
but didn’t give a verbal reply. Placing a hand on Bren’s lower back, Alex
escorted Bren back to the bar. They both ordered another drink and consumed
it quietly as they watched others dance.
Alex was not sure what to say to Bren, so she kept to herself. Bren didn’t
say anything either for several minutes. Once Bren had finished her drink,
she turned to Alex. “Are you ready to go? I’m getting kind of tired.”
“Yeah. Sure. We can go.” Alex replied.
Alex and Bren made their way back to their beach house in silence. When
they arrived, Bren immediately excused herself to bed, leaving Alex to
wonder about what had transpired between them at the club. As Alex sat on
the balcony overlooking the dark water, she analyzed every aspect of the
night, hoping to find some clue into Bren’s motivations and actions.
Everything seemed to lead Alex to the belief that Bren still felt something
for her. As much as Alex wished for that, she still wasn’t completely sure.
The next day when Alex awoke Bren was already on the beach reading. Sensing
that the young woman wanted time to herself, Alex made her own breakfast and
then took a walk along the beach. Even though Alex knew the time away from
the office was supposed to be relaxing, Alex felt tense about being alone
with Bren after the events of the previous night. Alex hoped with all she
had that she had come to the correct assumption about Bren’s feelings, but
she wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, given their past. Deciding to
play it by ear, Alex joined Bren on the beach after lunch.
The blonde didn’t say much just stayed buried in her reading, but after
awhile, Alex questioned, “That book must be something else to ignore your
company, huh?”
Bren looked up. Alex saw the uneasiness in her eyes. “It is pretty good.
Why don’t you just try to relax? Is it too hard for you to just sit still
without anything to do?”
“Well, you know me, always on the go. I feel like I’m being useless,
especially since I have nothing pressing to do. I just thought we could have
some fun. Is there anything you want to do today?”
“I had thought about shopping but discarded the idea, knowing how much you
hated that pastime.”
Alex laughed. “True but it could prove to be a good thing today. Why don’t
we go?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah. Why not? We’ll hit some shops, and maybe I can find something to
wear to our dinner tonight.”
“Oh yeah. I had forgotten about that. It’s supposed to be more formal,
right?” Alex nodded. “Well, maybe I could do with a little shopping. A new
outfit would be nice.”
“Great. Let’s get going. Our reservations are at 8:00, so we have about
five hours before having to get serious about getting ready.”
Even though Alex loathed shopping normally, she made it a point to look
like she was enjoying herself, especially since Bren was having a good time.
Alex savored watching Bren leisurely try on at least one outfit at every
store however, because Bren always asked her opinion. By the time they
needed to go back to get ready for dinner, Bren had purchased two new
outfits, one of which she had decided to wear to dinner.
Alex waited for Bren to finish getting ready that evening on the back deck.
Watching nighttime rise over the water, Alex pondered if she should try to
make a move on Bren that evening. She felt fairly sure that the younger
woman might be receptive, but at the same time, she was concerned about
ruining the friendship they had developed over the past four months. Her
thoughts were interrupted by Bren’s voice.
When Alex turned toward her, her mouth dropped slightly. Bren was dressed
in a sleeveless, cotton, black dress, black sandals, and holding a black
cardigan sweater. “Wow. You look incredible, Bren.”
Bren blushed lightly. “Thank you. You look nice too.” she mentioned as Alex
stood.
Alex tugged at the cuffs of her dark grey suit jacket. “Thanks. Are you
ready to go?” Bren nodded. Trying to feel out the situation, Alex extended
her arm, asking, “Shall we go to dinner?”
Bren smiled taking the offered arm. “Lead on, Counselor Schreiber.”
The atmosphere at the restaurant was intimate when they arrived. Alex had
intentionally not told Bren where they were going in hopes that she could
get away with bringing Bren to such a romantic place. Bren said nothing
about their surroundings but just smiled at Alex as they were seated at
their table. Once they had been left to look over the menu, Bren inquired,
“Have you ever been here before?”
“No. I read about it though. It’s a highly rated place for the beach that
is. See anything that interests you on the menu?”
“Well, I think I might splurge and get the lobster.”
“I was thinking about that too. Do you want any wine with dinner?”
“Sure. Sounds good. You choose it.” Once they had placed their order ans
been served their salads and wine, Bren mentioned, “I guess it’s a good
thing Cassidy isn’t here. She’d hate this place.”
“Why’s that?”
“Let’s just say she’s more of a sports bar kind of woman. She’s not one for
really civilized meals. I swear that woman lives on beer and buffalo wings.”
“That must be difficult for you at times. You aren’t the sports bar type.”
“I’ve tried to be for her, but it’s just not working. She’s too immature
for me I guess. It’s like dating a frat boy, the parties, the drinking, the
late hours. I think she enjoys being single too much. She says she cares
about me, and I believe that she does, but she’s not ready for a
commitment.”
“And you are?” Alex asked, suddenly wondering where this conversation was
heading.
“Yeah.”
“Have you told her how you felt?” inquired Alex as she tried to remain calm
even though her heart was sinking.
“Well, that’s just it. I’ve come to realize that even though I do want a
serious relationship, I don’t want it with her. She’s a great woman, and I
do enjoy her company but as long as it is on my terms. That’s not the
makings of a relationship. I guess I’m kind of glad that she didn’t come on
this trip. She probably would’ve thought it a perfect opportunity to try to
score, as her cronies so eloquently put it to me.”
“I take it you don’t think so highly of her friends by calling them
cronies.”
Bren shrugged. “They’re all the same, rowdy pilots. The things they tell me
behind her back have been less than flattering. I have been privy to
comments she’s made about me.”
“What kind of comments?”
“Sexually suggestive comments. I think she just says them to sound cool
with her friends, because she doesn’t say them to me. Nevertheless it’s made
me feel more like a prize than a person.”
Alex nodded. “I know what you mean by immaturity. I’ve seen that too and
heard some comments, but I just thought you were all right with it.”
Bren nodded. “She is a nice person, but I just don’t think it’s meant to go
anywhere. I was thinking about giving it a little more time, but at the same
time, I already know the outcome, so why prolong the inevitable?”
Alex gave a shrug. “That’s a decision only you can make, Bren. How’s the
salad?” she asked trying to change the subject.
Dinner lasted more than two hours due to the full course meal. Being that
is was after 10:00 when the left, they opted to just go back to the house.
Sitting on the deck, they shared another two bottles of wine as they chatted
about nothing important. Several hours passed before Bren stated that she
was getting tired. Both of them stood to begin collecting their litter, and
before either of them could stop the other, they simultaneously reached down
to pick up the empty bottles, whacking their foreheads in a loud smack.
Alex groaned at the pain as rubbed the spot. Bren giggled quietly as she
asked, “Are you all right? I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. What about you? Let me look.” Alex reached under
Bren’s chin to lift her head. There was a light bruise beginning on her fair
skin. “Oh, poor baby. I really got you good.” Alex said brushing her thumb
across the spot. Instinctively she leaned in and grazed her lips over the
bump. She heard Bren exhale quickly. “Anything else I need to kiss and make
better?” Alex whispered seductively before she could catch herself. Bren
only nodded. “Show me where it hurts, and I’ll make it all better. Does it
hurt here?” Alex questioned tracing along Bren’s cheek. Bren gave a nod,
urging Alex to kiss her there lightly. “What about here?” She pressed her
finger against the tip of Bren’s round nose. With another affirmative nod,
Alex kissed down the bridge. “And here?” she queried touching the blonde’s
chin. Bren whimpered as Alex placed a kiss there. Pressing two fingers
against Bren’s quivering lips, Alex murmured, “Does it hurt here, baby?”
“Yes.” Bren whispered.
Alex captured Bren’s lips even before Bren could complete her answer. Twin
moans erupted as they gently probed each others’ mouths and gripped tighter
to one another. Softly they exchanged intimate kisses for several moments
before Bren finally pulled away. Alex looked down at her, dazed and
breathless.
Bren just stared at her for a moment before saying, “I’m going to go to bed
now. I’ll see you in the morning. Okay?” Without even waiting for an answer,
she turned and walked into the house, leaving a confused Alex in her wake.
Alex sunk back into her chair as she realized what she had done. She had
pushed Bren too far too fast, and she now felt terrible for making the
blonde uncomfortable. Cursing at herself under her breath, Alex gathered all
their belongs, taking them into the kitchen before heading up to bed
herself.
The following morning Alex got up later than normal due to the wine from
the previous night. She showered and dressed before making her way
downstairs but found the house quiet. Calling for Bren she walked outside
and looked up and down the beach, but the young woman was nowhere to be
seen. Thinking that maybe she was still in bed, Alex went back upstairs and
knocked on Bren’s closed door. When there was no answer, Alex opened it.
Bren’s bed had been made, and there was no luggage. On top of the pillow
there was a folded piece of paper. Alex went over to pick it up, but she
knew even before she read it what it said. Bren was once again gone.
Continued Part 6: