~ The Rhythm of a Broken Heart ~
by Alex Tryst
Copyright January 2005
Disclaimers: Well, first off I must say that all songs contained this is book are copyrighted to their owners. They are not mine. I just borrowed them for character development. No infringement was intended. That goes for the references about Billy Joel and Donald Trump as well. This is the continuation of the short story "Blue Eyes". Enjoy! And feel free to drop me a line at alextryst@hotmail.com.
Part 2
That weekend Anna and Blair were invited over to the Flannery's roof party, so the two women dressed to impress, Anna to impress the other Flannerys, namely Dylan's father, while Blair took on the great task of looking wonderful for all the firefighters she knew would be there. When they arrived in their cab, they could already here the noise and music coming from several stories up. Anna led the way inside and up the staircase to the roof.
As soon as they walked out onto the roof, the whole audience seemed to sense their presence as a curious hush fell over the usually loud firefighters. Hearing the silence, the redhead looked up to see her brother headed for the two women. Handing her duties off to a friend, she did the same. "Anna, Blair, good to see you both," she said with a smile and wave. "You two didn't have to dress up, you know."
"You promised me hot men," Blair joked, kissing the redhead on the cheek. "And boy did you deliver. I wanted to look my best."
"Knock yourself out. These boys aren't shy. Just stay away from Davin," she teased, hitting her brother playfully on the arm. "Davin, you remember Anna Porter, my girlfriend," she announced proudly, slipping her arms around the brunette's shoulders.
"Not as such. Nice to finally meet you officially, Anna. Dylan won't shut up about you," he teased, extending his hand.
"It's nice to meet you too, Davin. This is my friend, Blair."
"I couldn't forget your friend. Blair, allow me the honor of escorting you into the lion's den," he said with a bright smile.
"That would be great."
Once the two were alone, Dylan smiled at Anna again. "Thanks for coming. My da has been anxious to meet you. Are you ready to meet him?"
"Ready as I'll ever be. Lead on," she answered, taking the redhead's hand.
Crossing the party they went over to a gray-haired gentleman sitting on the swing with two kids. He looked up and smiled as he saw them approaching. "Da, I want you to meet someone. This is Anna Porter. Anna, this is my da, Keane Flannery."
"Anna, wonderful to finally meet you," he said, standing to shake her hand.
"And these are my niece and nephew, Ainsley and Davin, Jr. Kids, this is my girlfriend, Anna."
Leaning down to their eye level, Anna greeted them politely. However, Junior asked, "Girlfriend? I thought you said that was boring stuff, Aunt Dylan."
Anna laughed at his comment. "I'm boring?" she quipped, putting her lover on the spot.
"I never said you specifically."
"Uh huh. I'll remember that later," she joked.
"Thanks, Junior," Dylan teased, ruffling his hair.
Just then they were interrupted by Stacie saying, "Well, this must be the famous Anna. I'm Stacie, Dylan's sister-in-law. She hasn't stopped talking about you in weeks."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" the redhead asked with a flush.
"Because it's true," her father answered. "Now, Anna, what can we get you to drink? Are you hungry? Dylan's been cooking up some good food while she counted the minutes until you got here."
Throwing up her arms in playful provocation, Dylan jested, "You all are making me sound some pathetic sap."
"Last time I checked that's what you were," he father said with a smile, slapping his daughter on the shoulder.
"Don't pay attention to them, Anna. They make it sound as if all I do is talk about you."
"And that's a bad thing?" the brunette teased, joining the fun.
Scoffing at the idea that her girlfriend was teasing her, she shook her head. "I'm going back to the grill to mind my own business. You fend for yourself."
Anna smiled after her retreating form before turning to Dylan's family. "She's not really mad, is she?"
"Not a chance. She knew we were going to give her a hard time about having you here, but she knows it's just in fun. It's been such a long time since she's dated anyone," Stacie informed her.
"Really? That seems odd. I mean she is a great catch if I can say so myself."
"Dylan's a sensitive soul, Anna. Her emotions run deep," Keane said. "But I'm sure you've already figured that out."
The brunette nodded. "Some things I have yet to figure out about her, though."
"Like what?" Stacie pressed in interest, but Anna didn't respond at first. "You know what, Anna? Let's go get a drink, shall we?" Seeing the reprieve, Anna agreed and was escorted away. Once she and Stacie were alone by the beer cooler, Dylan's sister-in-law said, "Spill it. Something's troubling you about Dylan that you didn't want to say in front of Keane."
The brunette smiled at Stacie. "You are quite the observant one, aren't you?"
"Have to be in this family. All the Flannerys carry their emotions so deep within themselves, you have to be quite the investigator. I think I have the hang of it after being married to one for a decade, though. Now what's on your mind?"
"A couple of things actually. First I guess is Danny," she hesitantly said. "She won't talk about him."
"Well, that's not just your problem. Dylan won't talk about Danny with anyone except sometimes Davin. She's suffered a great deal since he died, more so than when her mother did. Something happened that day, something so horrific that she just can't voice it, but I see it in her eyes. I see her sorrow."
"The other night we were falling asleep and talking about her therapy, and she said something to me. It's the only time she's ever mentioned him."
"What did she say?"
"She said that it was just the two of them that day, and that's why no one could ever understand. Do you know what she was talking about? I haven't been able to stop thinking about that."
Stacie shook her head. "I've never heard her say that, and Davin's never said he heard her say that. That actually makes a great deal of sense to me. I see why she carries her grief so close to her heart. If it truly was just the two of them, she probably feels responsible for whatever happened up there."
"But she's not," Anna protested.
"We can say that, but until she believes it, it doesn't do any good, Anna. She carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. She has since that day she was rescued."
Both women looked at the topic of the conversation. Dylan was engrossed in conversation with some other guests as she manned the grill. "May I ask you something else?"
"Of course. What is it?"
"You've known Dylan a lot longer than I have, so you're probably a better judge of this than I am."
"I've known Dylan her entire life."
"Really?" Anna inquired in interest.
Stacie nodded. "Davin and I met at Sunday school at St. Patrick's when we were six years old. I remember Patricia being pregnant with Danny and Dylan. There is a seven-year difference between Davin and Dylan, so there were plenty of times when Davin and I were dating in high school that we babysat those two. The two of them were so wild together, a lot like my own kids. I see Danny in Davin, Jr. everyday," she mentioned with a sigh. "I'm sorry. We were going to ask me something."
"That's okay. What I was going to ask is if any of you thought Dylan had a drinking problem."
"A drinking problem? No. Why do you ask?"
"She just drinks so much when I'm around her."
"Well, all the Flannerys are big drinkers. They'd hardly be Irish if they didn't knock back a few. We joke that Davin, Danny, and Dylan were all born with a pint of Guinness in their hands," she joked. When Anna didn't laugh though, Stacie stated, "You're concerned over this."
Anna nodded. "I don't know if it's just a cultural difference, but I find it a bit excessive."
"Well, give me an example."
"Well, we went to lunch the other day, and she drank four beers in less than an hour. We went to the movies, and when we got back to my place, she had two more."
Stacie nodded. "That seems about right for Dylan. Drinking is a way of life in the Flannery house. It might just take some getting used to. Speaking of which, here she comes for a refill," she mentioned.
Dylan smiled at her sister-in-law and Anna as she approached them. "Are you telling all my secrets?" she playfully accused Stacie.
"I wouldn't be a good sister-in-law if I didn't."
"Well, leave a little mystery, will you? Anna will get bored with me if she knows everything at once."
"Somehow I don't think I'll ever be bored with you, Dylan," the brunette said, touching her on the shoulder. She received a raised eyebrow in response and wink before leaving them again. "Oh, I know that look."
"I think she's about ready to have you here in front of everyone," Stacie said with a laugh.
Anna nodded. "She gets that way at the weirdest times too. I guess I didn't realize the capacity she had for that when we met."
"Oh, from what I've heard, Dylan's quite the lover."
"From what you've heard? Where did you hear that?"
"From the excessive parade of women that have come in and out of her apartment. We live right upstairs. Her bedroom is right under ours, and for some reason we can hear her through the ductwork at times. She was quite the Casanova."
"Was?"
"She got serious about someone when she was nineteen, and they dated for over a year. Then September 11th happened, and Dylan just cut everyone off, even her girlfriend. Dylan broke up with her, and she hasn't dated anyone else since."
"She hasn't dated in three years?"
"No. I've seen the occasional women in and out of her apartment, but there's been nothing serious until you. She loves you, you know."
Anna smiled and nodded. "I love her, Stacie. When we met I had no idea things would go this far."
"How did you two meet? She hasn't told me."
"We just met at a bar. Actually I was sort of mad, because my ex was there with the woman she cheated with me on, so I was out to get back at her. I saw Dylan sitting alone at the bar and went over to talk. Now a month later here we are."
"Well, she's taking big steps with you, Anna. We're proud that she finally seems to be putting her life back together. You've been a good influence on her. Although I should let you in on a little secret."
"What's that?"
"I heard her talking to Davin about you one night. She said she was having some issues with the money. I didn't quite hear all of it, because I was trying to get the kids in bed."
"I know what you're talking about. I think I bruised her ego one day by buying her lunch."
"That certainly would have done it. The woman has such gracious notions about courting someone. She's never dated someone with a different background, and I think she's still trying to figure out the best way to handle it."
"That would make two of us."
Later that evening as the more firefighters joined them after work, the crowd started to get rowdy as the alcohol flowed freely. As was usual with the group, the unruly company began singing drinking songs headed up by the youngest member of their troupe, the fiery redheaded Flannery. Anna and Blair watched from a distance with Stacie as the firefighters went through song after song. However, then she noticed Dylan huddle her boys for a moment.
Stacie turned to Anna and whispered, "I think you're about to be serenaded."
Sure enough, after a moment of deliberation between the redheaded woman and the other firefighters, they all turned toward Anna. With a smile only for her girlfriend, she started to sing with her fellow comrades as accompaniment,
"She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her
She's got a way of pleasin'
I don't know what it is
But there doesn't have to be a reason
Anyway
She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She's got a way of talkin'
I don't know what it is
But it lifts me up when we are walkin'
Anywhere
She comes to me when I'm feelin' down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She's got a way of showin'
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin'
She's got a light around her
And everywhere she goes
A million dreams of love surround her
Everywhere
She comes to me when I'm feelin' down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around
She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her
Anyway,"
As the voices faded and the boys started to high-five each other on their singing accomplishment, Dylan came over to her girlfriend. Anna grinned and blushed as the firefighters started to chant for them to kiss. "Should we oblige them?" the brunette questioned, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's neck. Nodding, Dylan dipped her while at the same time landing a smoldering kiss on Anna's mouth, much to the exultation of her co-workers. Knowing the taller woman was showing off, Anna allowed Dylan her moment, but when it was over, she whispered, "We're going to talk about this later."
"I have other plans for us later," the woman said with a brazen gaze.
Seeing Stacie and Blair suddenly try to find something else interesting, Anna knew they had heard Dylan's declaration. "I'm sure you do, but rest assured, we're going to have this talk first about your behavior." Looking around she decided they could slip away for a moment and took Dylan's hand, dragging her into the stairwell. "I don't like it when you do that."
"Come on, Anna. I'm just playing around."
"I know, but it makes me uncomfortable when you do that in front of the guys."
"Why? They're like my family. They just want us to be happy."
"Well, I just don't like being sexual in front of people I don't know. It makes me feel sleazy. You can't honestly say they want to see us kissing for our sakes."
The redhead laughed. "Well, probably not. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Can I still sing to you, though?"
"Of course. I love it when you sing to me," she whispered, caressing the firefighter's face sweetly. She couldn't help but notice the smell of beer circulating through the air between them, the aroma of the dark ale that clung constantly to her lover. It permeated Dylan's clothes and hair, and she tasted it when the firefighter gave her a stirring opened-mouth kiss.
"Good because I love singing to you," she admitted. "Now unless we go downstairs to my place and have some hot sex, I need to get back to this party. They'll notice if I go missing."
"I know. They wouldn't know what to do without their ringleader. Who would tell them what to sing?" Anna teased lightly, thankful for the small reprieve from intimacy. At the moment she felt less than inclined as she had watched her lover over the course of the evening. When Dylan was with her peers, she was a completely different persona than when they were alone. In fact she acted more macho than her masculine counterparts as if she felt the need to parade her own sense of virility to fit in with her adoptive brothers.
Late that night after the crowd had thinned to just a few stragglers, Blair said that she had to go. Anna saw her opportunity to slip away with her and commented she too should be going. Dylan nodded at both of them even though Anna could tell she was disappointed that she would be going to bed alone. "Let me walk you two out," she said, tossing back the end of her beer. Seeing that her brother was still there with the other guests, she waved the two women toward the door heading back downstairs. However, as she hurried down the stairs in front of them, she ended up tripping.
"Dylan!" Anna exclaimed in concern as she saw her girlfriend slip down several stairs onto the landing.
A moan was the only response at first and then she mumbled, "Fuck that's going to leave a mark."
"Are you all right?" Blair asked as both women assisted her to her feet.
"I'm fine. Just took the stairs too fast. I'll be all right," she assured.
Anna looked at her friend a moment as they held the firefighter by either arm. "I'll tell you what, Dylan. Why don't I help you into bed before we leave?" she suggested.
Green eyes flashed in excitement at the prospect. "Fine by me," she growled playfully.
Anna rolled her eyes at Blair as the duo took Dylan to her apartment. "I'll be right back," she told her friend as she assisted the redhead to the bedroom. Sitting Dylan down on the bed, she quickly started to undress her. However, her girlfriend had other ideas as she began to kiss over the brunette's neck. "Not now, Dylan," she complained. "Let's get your clothes off."
"You're going too fast. You know I like it slower than that," the younger woman pouted as her shirt was ripped from her body.
Anna ignored her as she did the same with Dylan's jeans. Kneeling by the bed, she started to take off the redhead's shoes, but as she did so, she realized Dylan's ankle was bruised and swelling. "Does that hurt?"
"I can't feel it."
"Well, it's going to in the morning. I hope you don't have to work. Here. Put your pajamas on while I get you some ice," she charged, tossing the cotton pajamas on the bed. Moving into the kitchen, she passed her friend standing in the living room. "Dylan sprained her ankle when she fell. She's going to be in so much pain when that alcohol wears off. Maybe I should stay here."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. She might need to go to the hospital. I'm too worried to leave her."
"All right. Call me tomorrow then."
"I will." Getting some ice from the freezer, the brunette returned to the bedroom to find Dylan stretched out on the bed in her pajamas inspecting her ankle.
"That's going to smart in the morning," the firefighter commented.
"I hope you don't have to work."
"Actually I have to work lunch shift at the pub."
"Well, I don't think you can walk, Dylan. Your dad will just have to find someone to cover for you."
"I'll be fine. I've shown up for work in much worse shape than this. Don't worry. You'll see. Now come here," she said, trying to pull her girlfriend down onto the bed with her.
However, Anna resisted. "I have to wrap your foot. Here. Prop it up. Do you have a wrap for it?"
"In the bathroom under the sink."
The brunette went into the bathroom and found the bandage. Coming back to the bed, she carefully wrapped her lover's ankle and then applied the ice. "Now just rest it."
"But I had other plans," the firefighter mentioned, reaching for Anna's hand.
"Not now you don't. You're in no shape for it. You need to just go to sleep. I'll stay here with you, but you need to close your eyes and rest," she said, pushing Dylan onto her back. Curling up next to her, Anna just held her lover, and Dylan soon was snoring lightly.
The following morning the brunette was up first. The firefighter hadn't moved much during the night as she slept with her ankle still propped. Anna took the opportunity to examine it. It was twice the size it was normally and sported dark bruising along the foot. She knew her lover would not be able to walk in that condition and decided to take it upon herself to tell Keane of the situation before Dylan made herself worse by trying to work. Getting out of bed, Anna took a quick shower before throwing on some of the redhead's smallest clothes. Being that it was shortly before eleven, she knew the bar was probably already open in anticipation of lunchtime, so she walked downstairs and around the corner.
No one but Keane was there when she entered. He looked up and smiled. "Morning, Anna. To what do I owe this pleasure? Dylan's not here."
"I know. Actually I came to talk to you about that. She's upstairs in bed. She sprained her ankle last night and can't walk."
He shook his head in disappointment. "Damn, kid. I kept telling her that if she drank that much she'd end up hurting herself one day. She's just lucky it's a sprained ankle instead of a broken head. I worry about her drinking all the time. Now what am I going to do? Lunch starts in less than half an hour."
"Is there something I can do to help?" the brunette inquired.
He shook his head. "Unless you were a waitress in another lifetime, there's nothing you can do. I need a healthy body in here."
"Well, I could help you with customers. How hard could that be?" she inquired.
He looked at her with a raised brow, much in the same manner Dylan did. "Anna, that's sweet of you, but I can't subject you to these men. They're drunks."
"I'm sure it's not that bad. What would I have to do?"
"Well, take orders and deliver food mostly, but I can't. You're not even on the payroll. It would be a liability to have you working here."
"Mr. Flannery, with all due respect, you said you needed someone, and I'm free to help. I don't care about the money, and I'm not going to sue you if something goes wrong if that's what you're worried about."
He looked at her seriously as if he were contemplating the offer. "All right but just until I find someone else to cover the shift. I doubt you would even make it that long anyway."
"I can do this, Mr. Flannery. I eat out all the time. I know what to do."
"I'm sure you do, but it's different when you're on the other end of the table, kid. These drunks will run you all afternoon to chase down their beers," he grumbled. However, then he grinned and said, "Seeing as you're working here now, you better get used to calling me Keane. And I will pay you for today if you fill out an application that I can submit to my payroll company."
"It's fine, Keane. I'm not doing this for the money."
"All the same, if you work here, those are the rules. Even Dylan, Danny, Davin, and Stacie had to do it, so let's get you the form while it's still quiet," he said, gesturing toward the back.
While they were sitting in the office filling out paperwork, Anna tentatively asked, "Did I hear you say you worried about Dylan's drinking?"
"That's right. Why do you ask?"
"Because I thought I was the only one. I thought she was a bit excessive, but Stacie and Davin seemed to think it was fine."
Keane shook his head. "They might, but I don't. She drinks more than Davin and I put together. Sometimes I think she uses it to suppress her feelings of what's bothering her. After Danny died, she really took to the bottle in a way I've never seen anyone do, and it's been a concern of mine for some time. I had hoped it would wane over time, but I just don't see that happening."
"Do you think she's an alcoholic?"
He shrugged. "That's hard to say. Flannerys by nature are heavy drinkers, but Dylan's taken it to a new level. She uses it as an escape. That much I know."
Back upstairs Dylan awoke to realize she was running late for work. Panicking since it was her father who she had to answer to, she immediately picked up the phone to call him. "Da, hey," she said when he answered the bar phone.
"Dylan, how are you feeling? I heard you busted up your ankle."
"Yeah. I sprained it pretty badly. How did you find out about that?"
"Anna told me."
"Oh. Well, I'm going to try to get dressed here and then be down. I'll be there as soon as I can."
"No. You should stay where you are. Anna said you could barely walk. You don't need to be on it if it's hurting that much. Besides, I got someone to cover your shift."
"Who? Stacie's busy."
"Anna's down here busing tables and doing a damn fine job of it if I may say so myself. The customers love her. I may have just found my new favorite employee," he joked.
"My Anna is busing tables? Da, she can't do that."
"Why not? She offered. I wasn't going to let her, but she talked me into it."
"But she can't handle those miserable drunks."
"Well, that's what I thought at first, but then I realized if she can handle you, she can handle them."
"Is that supposed to be a joke?" Dylan inquired irritably. She was upset that her girlfriend was doing her job.
"One Irish drunk or twenty, it's all the same. She's actually quite the worker. I didn't think she had what it took, but I was mistaken. She's a natural with these guys."
"Da, I'm getting dressed and coming down there. She will not be working there. She's too good for that."
"What are you saying, Dylan? We aren't good enough for her? She apparently doesn't feel that way. Now you stay where you are and rest that ankle, and whatever you do, stay away from the Guinness, will ya?"
"Da, this is no joke."
"I'm not joking, Dylan. Now I have to go. I'm working the bar. Bye."
Irked that her father ended their call so abruptly, Dylan rolled out of bed and stood. Pain shot up through her ankle into her leg, but she limped to the bathroom anyway to shower. That accomplished she managed to put on her work clothes and then hobble to her closet where she had her crutches stored from her last major injury. With those in place, she decided to see the spectacle of her high-class girlfriend working in the bar.
When she made it down to the pub, it took her a moment to get through the door with her crutches, but then she found an empty table near the bar where she could observe. Her eyes instantly found what she was looking for. There was Anna dressed in some of the firefighter's shorts that were so large for her she had them bunched up in the back with a belt to keep them from falling. She was also wearing a Flannery's pub t-shirt, and her hair had been pulled into a loose ponytail. Dylan's eyes wandered down the brunette's legs to discover her favorite pair of tennis shoes on her lover's feet. When Anna turned around to take care of a customer at another table, Dylan noticed the apron she had tied around her waist. She just watched as Anna greeted the customers with a large smile and diligently wrote their order. For a moment the firefighter thought she looked so natural being there as if she had always been a part of the notorious drinking hole.
However, when Anna looked up and saw Dylan sitting at a table, her face became serious as she came to where she was sitting. "You aren't supposed to be out of bed," she said without greeting.
"And you aren't supposed to be working my shift. Why are you doing this?"
Anna shrugged. "Your dad needed help, and I was available."
"You don't have to do this, you know."
"I wanted to, Dylan. I wanted to make a good impression."
"Well, I'd say you did that. Now take off that apron. You look silly."
"No more than when you wear it. What's your problem with my working here?"
"You deserve better," she countered.
Anna shook her head. "You know, I don't want to talk about this. I have tables to wait on. Are you going to order something or not?" she huffed.
"Yeah. Get me a Guinness, gorgeous," she said with a smile.
Rolling her eyes, the brunette went to the bar. Meeting Keane there, she said, "I need a couple of Guinness."
"What's Dylan doing here? Is she bothering you?"
"She just came down for a beer and to be snide."
"Well, I think she's had enough beer for awhile. Take her this instead," he said, filling up a cup with water. "She shouldn't be drinking if she's taking medication for that ankle."
Taking the water, Anna returned to the redhead's table. "Here you go. A special drink from the bartender," she quipped.
"This isn't even close to a Guinness," the firefighter complained.
"If you have grievances, talk to the management," the brunette said before heading off to see to customers.
A few minutes later Keane approached her table as she sat there pouting and sipping her water. "What's the cross face for, Dylan?"
"Anna. I asked her to get me a beer, and she brought me this."
"Well, if it's any consolation, I'm the one who told her not to. You drink too much as it is. I won't have you drinking on medication. Now have you taken anything for that ankle? It looks like you did a number on it."
"It's just a scratch. I'll be as good as new in no time."
He nodded. "That's what happens when you get intoxicated, you know. You end up doing stupid things like this."
"I wasn't that drunk," she protested.
"You were drunk. That's enough."
"So was everyone else," she pushed.
"Well, you aren't everyone else, Dylan. I've let this go on for far too long. Anna's worried about you and quite frankly so am I. Next time it might not be your ankle, kid. Next time it might be your life. You need to cut back on this drinking habit of yours, or you're going to find yourself in a world of hurt."
"Like I'm not already," she mumbled, lifting her leg from the chair on which it was propped.
"You don't know the pain I'm talking about, but keep this bad habit up and you will. Now you just sit here and be quiet. And whatever you do, don't go harassing Anna. She's working." Dylan nodded in understanding. "Do you think you're going to be okay to play tonight?" Keane inquired.
"I'll be fine, Da. Get me a barstool to sit on. Besides it's my left ankle, so I can still play the piano. If I start to feeling bad, we'll just change the set, but it shouldn't pose a problem."
"All right. Well, I suppose I'll have to help Davin set up for this gig since you can't walk. I told Anna she only had to work until I could find a replacement for your shift, but she's doing so well, I think I'll just let her work the whole thing. Is she coming tonight?"
"I hadn't mentioned it to her. I'll ask later. If I asked now, you'd think I was pestering her."
Her father smiled and ruffled the redhead's hair. "Well, if you need anything, let me know."
That night when the brunette was finally told her shift was over, she went to the table where Dylan was still sitting. "You feeling any better?"
Dylan shrugged. "I'd be better if I had a Guinness to numb the pain, but seeing as I can't get one of those around here, I suppose I'm fine. Could you do me a favor, though? I think I might need help getting upstairs to change for work tonight."
"Work? What do you mean work? You can't work, Dylan."
"I can do this kind of work. My band is singing here tonight, and I need to get dressed. Davin and Da are going to set up the stage since I can't move. All I have to do is sit and sing. Is that okay with you?"
Anna nodded. Assisting the firefighter to her feet, she said, "I didn't know you were in a band. What's it called?"
"Firehouse 5. We sing here all the time." Looking for her father, she yelled over to him, "I'll be back in a bit, Da. Anna's going to help me upstairs to change."
"All right. Anna, I just want to thank you for what you did today," he said, making his way over to them.
"I had fun, Keane."
"Well, if you want, I can let you take all of the cripple's shifts until she's better," he proposed.
"Sure. That sounds good."
"Wonderful. You two take your time. The show doesn't start until nine anyway. Have some dinner and relax a little."
Heading upstairs the two women made it into the firefighter's place only after a great deal of effort. Once inside Anna placed Dylan on the loveseat in the den. "I need to shower after the day I've had. Will you be okay here for a little bit?"
The redhead nodded. "I'll be fine. I'll just be sitting her thinking of what you look like in that shower," she teased.
The brunette flushed lightly as she smiled. "I'm sure you will. When I'm finished, I'll make some dinner, and then we can get you dressed for tonight."
As Anna turned to go, Dylan grabbed her by the hand and asked, "Aren't you forgetting something? You haven't kissed me all day."
Shaking her head and smiling, she gave her girlfriend a quick kiss before disappearing into the bedroom, returning twenty minutes later in a pair of Dylan's sweat pants and a t-shirt. "Now what to do about dinner? What are you in the mood for?"
"Whatever you are. Do you want some help?"
"No. Just stay there. You'll be more of a hindrance than help in your condition." Doing as she was told, the taller woman sat reclined on her sofa watching TV as Anna made them dinner. When it was ready, the brunette brought it to her along with her own. "So, tell me about this band of yours. What kind of music do you sing?"
"We do a lot of Irish songs of course. Then I like to throw in different stuff, usually something where I can play the piano, Billy Joel, Elton John, stuff like that. Of course we take requests. Sometimes I'll pick a guitar song, but Davin is a better guitar player than me, so I usually just leave him to that."
"And who is in this band with you?"
"Well, it's Davin and two of our friends from the firehouse. You might have met them last night, Peter and Michael. Then I'm sort of the lead singer now, but we all sing as well as play instruments. Sometimes if we can catch Da in the right mood, he'll play with us."
"How did you end up with the name Firehouse 5?"
"There were five of us, and we all belonged to the same fire company. It's kind of goofy but catchy, so we kept it."
"Who was the fifth member?"
"Danny. He was our lead singer for a long time. We just don't have the heart to replace him or call ourselves anything else. We have quite the reputation in the pubs across the city. You know, we are all hot firefighters that sing. Can't get much better than that," she joked.
"No you can't," Anna replied.
"So, do you have plans tonight? Do you want to watch us play?"
"Of course I want to watch you play. I love listening to you sing. Why would I pass up that opportunity?"
"Good. I was hoping you'd hang around. I'll even sing you something special."
Anna smiled. "I love it when you do that."
That night when Dylan's band took to the stage at Flannery's Pub, Anna took the chance to call Blair as she had promised the night before. "Hey. Sorry I didn't call earlier. It's been quite a day."
"It's fine. Where are you? What's all that noise?"
"I'm still with Dylan. Her band is performing at the pub tonight."
"Her band? I didn't know she was in a band."
"Neither did I until I few hours ago. You want to come down?"
"Are there cute guys there?"
Yeah. Michael is here from last night. He's in the band."
"I'm so there," Blair joked. "He's hot. I wonder what he looks like without his shirt on."
"Don't know but I'm sure he'd let you see if you asked him. He asked me about you before they went on tonight."
"Oh, guess that means I better bring some protection, just in case," she mentioned with a chuckle.
Anna laughed. "Just get down here, you glutton. I'm sure he'd be more than happy get in your pants, but you have to be here for him to do that."
"All right. I'm on my way. Don't let him out of your sight."
"Hey. I have my sights elsewhere. Dylan looks so sexy up there. Makes me almost forget the shit she pulled last night. That girl has me worried."
"I know, but we'll work it out. For now just enjoy the music. I'll be there soon."
As Dylan sang that evening, she could hardly keep her eyes away from Anna as she sat at the far end of the bar, whispering conspiratorially with Keane and Blair. However, as the set started to come to a close, she knew she had promised her lady a song and hushed everyone to make her announcement. "All right. Tonight I want to break from tradition for a moment to sing a special song to a woman some of you may or may not know. Over in the corner there, is my girl Anna, and I promised her that I would sing her something. The boys and I thought of just the perfect song, and so we'd like to sing it now. As most you know, my favorite singer is Billy Joel, and he wrote this song for his then ladylove, and now I want to sing it to mine. If you feel so inclined, feel free to sing along as we serenade her with words that are especially appropriate, 'Uptown Girl'. Let's go everyone. You all know it. Sing with me." Even though she couldn't walk, the redhead stood and gazed fondly at her girlfriend as the entire bar lifted their voices to belt out the words of the lively ballad.
Anna and Blair both sat attentively and listened as all the men in the bar took great pleasure in bellowing the words to the classic song. As the music died though, the model leaned to her friend's ear and teased, "Looks like Dylan's getting laid tonight."
Anna swatted Blair on the arm as she blushed. "You make me sound like a slut saying that."
"You are a slut when it comes to that woman. As for me, Michael is about to become one lucky man. Excuse me."
"Have fun."
"Oh, I will. You too."
As Dylan slowly made her way through the crowd to where Anna was sitting, she noticed where Blair was headed. She laughed as she got to the brunette. "I see our little girl is on the prowl."
"Blair is a woman who isn't afraid to go after what she wants. I just hope Michael can handle it."
"Oh, he'd love to die trying at the very least. If he calls in sick at the firehouse tomorrow, we'll all know why. Did you enjoy the show?"
"Very much. You all are really quite talented."
"I felt a little off tonight. Must be the pain in my ankle. It was a little difficult to play the piano as well as I normally do."
"I thought it was wonderful all the same. I especially liked my song."
"I thought you would. Billy has a song for every occasion."
Leaning to her lover's ear, Anna whispered, "Does he even have one for making love?"
Green eyes flashed brightly as she answered, "Most definitely. Perhaps you'd like to hear it?"
"I most certainly would but upstairs."
"Let's go then." Standing up, Dylan looked for Blair. "Is she going to be all right down here alone?"
Anna nodded. "I'll just tell her good night quickly and ask Keane if I'm scheduled to work tomorrow. Then we can go."
"You're not on tomorrow. I'm supposed to be at the firehouse, not here."
"You're not going to be able to work."
"I have to go all the same. Let me just make sure Davin can help me get there. He's working tomorrow too."
After each other them ran their respective errands, the brunette helped Dylan upstairs to her apartment. The two of them made their way back to the bedroom where the redhead took a seat on the bed. Anna smiled at her and asked, "What do you want to wear to bed?"
"You have to ask?" she questioned with a smirk.
Shaking her head, Anna replied, "After that, Dylan. Any preference?"
"None at all. Just do me a favor and hand me my guitar. I believe I promised you a song."
"No guitar. Just your voice but wait until I'm ready. I want to get ready for bed first and so should you."
"This sort of takes the spontaneity out of it, you know."
"It's still going to be good, because you're singing it," the brunette assured. "Now just give me a few minutes."
Shrugging the redhead answered, "Fine. You're running this show. We'll get ready for bed first. It'll save time later anyway."
Both did their nightly routine using Dylan's toiletries before changing into some of the firefighter's pajamas. As they stood together in the tiny bathroom, Anna mentioned, "I really should bring some clothes over here seeing that I'm here almost every night. You're clothes don't exactly fit me."
"Well, you're more than welcomed to. I have some space in my closet even though it's nothing like yours."
"I think I'll do that. It's either that or just walk around naked while I'm here," she teased.
"On second thought, that sounds even better," Dylan said, leaning to kiss the brunette on the neck softly.
When the two were ready, they both got in bed, but being that the firefighter had to sleep with her ankle propped, she merely lay on her back as Anna curled up into her shoulder. Once she was comfortable, she said, "Now tell me about this song. What's it called?"
"It's called 'The Night is Still Young', and I've always imagined it's for a moment just like this, for two lovers entwined in each other's arms late at night."
"Sing it to me," Anna murmured.
With a nod Dylan obliged her lover, softly singing the intimate words. When she was finished, she smiled as she gazed lovingly into blue eyes. "You know, I've never sung that song to anyone before. That's always one I've wanted to have reason to sing, and now I do."
Anna gave a dreamy nod as she kissed her lover. "You certainly do, but for now you need to do what you just promised me in that song," she mumbled, tossing her hair to one side as propped herself up on her arm.
"Anything you want, Anna," Dylan vowed, pulling the smaller woman on top of her body as she met her lips in a gentle kiss.
*****************************************************************
Over the next few weeks Dylan and Anna spent lots of time together, but as hot August turned into September, the brunette sensed a change in her lover. Dylan was starting to act more reclusive, not interested in doing much other than work and spending time at the pub. Even more, the redhead's drinking habit had begun to increase, making Anna and all of Dylan's family concerned, but the twenty-four-year old wouldn't hear of it. During that second week of September Anna managed to convince Dylan to come to dinner at her house with her father and a few of her friends, to which the redhead reluctantly agreed.
That night when the firefighter arrived, she parked her bike in Anna's spot as usual before heading up to the apartment. Even though she had a key to the place, she decided she better knock, since she hadn't met Anna's father before. Moments later Blair answered the door.
"Dylan, hey. Come on in."
"Thanks. How are you? I haven't seen you in awhile, but from what I've heard you've been keeping Michael busy," she joked.
The other woman smiled wickedly. "You better believe it. Michael's actually here. Thought you could use a friendly face since you've never met James before."
"Thanks. Is he here yet?"
"Yeah. We were just waiting on you. You'll be fine," she assured, leading the way to the kitchen.
When they entered, Anna smiled as she went to hug her girlfriend. Dylan returned the embrace but didn't try more as steely blue eyes studied her behind wire-framed glasses. She wasn't sure what Anna might have told her father, so she played it safe. Once the brunette released her, Anna turned to her father and said, "Dad, I want you to meet Dylan Flannery."
He smiled at her as he extended his hand. "James Porter. Nice to meet you Dylan."
"Hi. Nice to meet you too," she replied, taking the offered hand.
Anna could sense the redhead's nervousness but didn't say anything as she announced, "Well, dinner is ready. Why don't we all go into the dining room?" Everyone agreed, adjourning to the room next door. Anna quickly pointed out where everyone was supposed to sit, allowing her father and Dylan to be at opposite ends of the table.
As the redhead took her seat, she smiled. "You learned how to draw the shamrock in the head of the Guinness," she observed, picking up her beer.
"That's cool, Anna. Did Keane teach you that?" Michael asked, looking at his as well.
"Actually Davin showed me how. He said that was the traditional way to serve it, so I might as well learn it."
"What do you all have down there? Is that Guinness beer?" James questioned.
"Yes, sir," Dylan replied.
James smiled. "Oh, that takes me back to when I was your age. Guinness was my favorite too. Anna, do you have another one of those?"
"You want a beer instead of wine?" she asked in dismay.
"If it's okay."
"Sure. I've just never seen you drink a beer in your life."
"Well, tonight I feel like a change."
"All right. One Guinness coming right up. Blair, do you want one?"
"Can't. I have a big shoot tomorrow morning."
With that Anna disappeared into the kitchen to get another beer. When she brought it to her father, he thanked her. "That is neat how you drew that shamrock on there. Where did you learn to do that?"
"Dylan's brother Davin taught me. Their family owns a pub. Not too long ago Dylan had sprained her ankle, and I offered to fill in her shifts until she was on her feet again."
"You've been working at a pub?" he questioned.
Seeing the look on her father's face, she explained, "Just for fun and to be helpful."
He shook his head slightly but didn't comment further. Instead he took a sip of the beer. "Oh, that's nice. So, Dylan, your family owns a bar?"
"Yes, my father does. It's Flannery's Pub down in the theater district. The rest of my family and I work there on occasion."
"So what do you do then?"
"I'm a firefighter. Michael and I actually work in the same fire company."
"And we're in a band together too," Michael added. "Dylan's our lead singer."
"Oh really? What kind of music?"
"Mostly Irish but we also do contemporary stuff. Anything that has a part for the piano is always good, because that's my main instrument. Michael is the bassist. We play different pubs around the city. We're actually playing at my father's pub on the 11th. We love to have an audience of people we know, so please feel free to join us. I hope Anna and Blair are going to be there."
Anna nodded. "I wouldn't miss it."
"Neither would I," Blair added.
James smiled warmly at Dylan. "Well, thank you for that invitation. I may just have to join them if it fits my schedule." For the rest of the meal the four younger people carried on conversation as James merely observed. Every once in awhile, Dylan would look up and see him staring intently at her, but after a couple of beers her uneasiness with it waned. However, once dessert and coffee were on the table and a lull in chat occurred, James turned to his daughter and mentioned, "It's a shame Julie couldn't be here tonight. I haven't seen her in awhile. The two of you have kept me so out of the loop on your wedding plans."
"Wedding plans?" Michael inquired in confusion before Blair could deter him. "You're getting married, Anna?"
The brunette didn't answer at first as her eyes immediately went to Dylan. The firefighter showed no emotion at the comment, but she could tell it had upset her. "Yeah, Anna's engaged. I take it you didn't know?" James asked.
"I knew," Dylan stated.
"Have you met Julie yet? She's quite a prize for my little girl."
"I've had occasion to cross paths with her," the tall woman answered.
"It doesn't sound like you were impressed."
Dylan shrugged, trying desperately to hide her own feelings of hurt that Anna hadn't even bothered to tell her father the truth about them. "I just don't take kindly to anyone that would raise a hand to a woman, but that's me. Their relationship is their business, and Anna's going to do what's best for her. I suppose Julie can take care of her better than anyone else."
"What? Julie tried to hit you?" he questioned his daughter in concern.
The brunette tried to downplay it. "It was just a misunderstanding, Dad. I don't want to talk about it now."
However he didn't appeared satisfied with that answer as he stared at the redhead. "Dylan, what happened?"
She shook her head. "That's between them, sir. I won't tell a lady's secrets." Just then her cell phone rang, breaking the awkwardness. Fishing it out of her pocket, she saw it was her brother and silently praised him that he had remembered to call as they had agreed. "Excuse a moment," she said, rising for a moment and then answering it. When she was in the privacy of the den, she whispered, "Am I glad you called. This is awkward as hell. Michael's here with Blair and Anna's father just brought up her ex in conversation. You have to get me out of here."
"Didn't you tell Anna that you had to babysit tonight anyway?"
"Yeah."
"Well, tell her that I called to remind you and then make me your excuse to leave. Tell her we decided on an earlier movie or something."
"But Michael's here. He knows you're at work."
"Say Stacie asked you to watch the kids, so we could have an evening to ourselves. I get off soon. Say she wanted you to take them now, so she could prepare the apartment. Say something and then get out of there."
"All right. I'll think of something. God, and this evening was okay until James mentioned their upcoming wedding. Michael looked totally lost and confused. He was genuinely shocked."
"I'm sure he was, considering he's seen the two of you sucking face for the last two months. I can't believe she hasn't told her father she broke up with that woman. That's just awful."
"Yeah, well, she's scared, but still I thought I was going to meet him tonight as her girlfriend, and it just hasn't turned out that way. I don't even know what to think right now."
"Well, just tell them you have to come home. We'll sort it out when you get here."
"All right. Thanks for remembering to call. This is just torturous. I owe you."
"Just get here safely. That's all I need. See you soon."
"Okay. Bye." Taking a deep breath, Dylan returned to the dining room, glad to see that everyone else had gone about eating in her absence. "I'm sorry about that. That was Stacie. She was just reminding me that I had to get home to babysit. I'm really sorry I have to cut this so short, but she's planning a special evening for her and Davin, and I said I'd take the kids."
"You can't leave now. You haven't even touched your dessert," Anna said with a pleading look. She could tell Dylan was upset, but she didn't know how to correct it at that moment.
"I'm really sorry, Anna. You know they don't spend enough time together as it is. I'm just trying to help them, and you know I would do anything to help my family." Moving to where James was sitting, she extended her hand. "Mr. Porter, it was nice to meet you. I'm sorry I have to end this night so early."
He stood and shook her hand. "That's all right. I understand. Family is important."
With a nod she turned to Blair and Michael and said good bye. "I'll see you at work tomorrow, Michael."
"I'll walk you out," Anna said.
"Don't do that. I know my way out. Thank you for dinner. Good bye."
"Good night, Dylan. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Silence encompassed the room as the redhead left. Anna just stood there looking at her retreating form until the front door closed before moving to the blue eyes of her father. She could tell he was suspicious of something as he looked at her quizzically. Finally he remarked, "You better be careful with that one, Anna. She looks at you with stars in her eyes."
"I know," she admitted quietly, breaking their gaze. Looking at her friends, she tried to compose herself as she asked, "Anyone want more coffee or dessert?"
Blair shook her head. "No. We should probably be going too. Michael and I both have early mornings."
"But it's early," she objected.
"All the same. I think it's time to go."
"Well, okay. This was not the way I had intended dinner to go, though," the brunette said as she let her friends say good bye to her father. Once she had walked them out, she went into the dining room, but her dad wasn't there. She found him in the den, looking out the window.
"That was certainly an interesting meal," he said, not turning from the view.
"It didn't go exactly how I intended."
"And exactly how was it supposed to go?" he inquired, turning to look at her. "Did you actually think I wouldn't notice that something was going on between you and Dylan? Tell me. How long?"
"Dad, you don't understand."
"Don't understand? Oh, I understand what I saw. She couldn't keep her eyes off you the whole night, Anna. She tried. I suppose it was to throw me off, but she failed miserably. That woman has feelings for you. That's obvious. What I want to know is how long this has been going on and if Julie knows about it?"
At the sound of her ex's name, Anna fell into the couch. Her father immediately came and sat next to her. "A few months," she whispered as tears flooded over her face. "And yes, Julie knows."
"You can't tell me she's okay with it."
"She's not."
"Did she break up with you? Is that what Dylan's story was about her trying to hit you?"
Anna shook her head. "I broke up with her, Dad."
"Hopefully not for Dylan."
"No. We broke up before I even met Dylan."
"So, you've been broken up for months? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid you'd be mad. You love Julie. You talk about her all the time. You were so proud of your future daughter-in-law, and I just didn't know how to tell you."
He nodded. "Why did you break up?"
"I don't want to talk about that."
"Well, then why did she try to hit you? I won't stand for that."
"I don't want to talk about that either, Dad."
"Then what do you want to talk about? You have some explaining to do."
"I know, but if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk about it now. Right now I have to think of a way to make this right with Dylan."
He nodded. "Well, if I were her, I would be mad at you, Anna, but I would be able to forgive you too. You should be able to work it out. Tell me though. Is this serious between you?"
She shrugged. "I love her, Dad. I can't help it."
"She's a firefighter. She doesn't make a lot of money, Anna. She can't care for you that way. I want someone who can take care of you. Not only that she puts her life on the line every day. Is that something you can live with? I don't think I could if she was my daughter-in-law. It would drive me crazy to think of her out there."
By the time Dylan got home that night, she bypassed Davin and Stacie's place in her anger over the way the evening turned out and headed straight for her own apartment. Slamming the door she bounded into her kitchen and grabbed a case of Guinness sitting in her refrigerator before heading up to the rooftop for solace. She took a seat on the swing under the arbor as she popped open her first can and took a long sip. The feeling of the dark liquid sliding down the back of her throat made her sigh. She couldn't believe what had happened. She had tried to hide her feelings from Anna's father when he mentioned Julie but wasn't sure she had quite been successful. She just couldn't believe that after two months of them being together the brunette still hadn't confessed the breakup to her father. It made her feel used, far more so than even the night they met, and her heart hurt deeply from Anna's inconsideration.
For the rest of the night, Dylan stayed on the rooftop consuming her case of beer and thinking about everything in her life. Suddenly her relationship with Anna didn't seem as strong as she thought it had the propensity to be, but even more her thoughts lay elsewhere. Danny plagued her as she thought of him. She recalled that day to herself, the way she did everyday, but after three years, it was still as fresh as it had been when it happened. The pain of losing her brother, her best friend, her confidant, was just not something she could even express, much less overcome, and she knew she would never be able to have the world's understanding of her anguish.
In the morning the redhead slowly rose from her seat on the roof, knowing that she had to go to work. She knew it was not going to be easy to go that day, but it was her duty. Heading down to her apartment, she showered and then took the subway to work instead of her bike. When she arrived, no one said anything to her except a morning greeting. She knew without asking why, because when she saw Michael, he gave her such a pained expression of sympathy. However, she ignored him and stumbled to her locker. Opening it she just stared into it aimlessly until she heard her brother's voice behind her.
"Morning, Dylan. How are you feeling?"
"Life sucks, Davin," she grumbled, looking over her shoulder at him.
He nodded but then looked at her closer. "Dylan, are you drunk?" he whispered, looking around to make sure no one else could hear them. "Your eyes are bloodshot."
"What if I am? What are you going to do about it?"
"You can't be here drunk. You know that. Do you want to get suspended? You have to go home sick. You can't stay here like this. It's dangerous. You aren't going to be able to pull this off."
"I'll be fine."
"No, you won't. Don't be stupid."
"I'm not stupid, Davin! I said I'd be fine!" she screamed, pushing by him.
"Dylan!" he yelled, following her into the garage.
"Don't yell at me, Davin! I know what I'm doing!"
"The hell you do! If the captain sees you like this, you're going to be in trouble!"
"If I see her like what?" their captain questioned, interrupting their heated exchange.
"Dylan's sick. She needs to go home," Davin tried to explain.
The captain shook his head as he approached the redhead. "What's the problem, Dylan?"
"No problem, sir."
"You mean other than the fact that you are staggering drunk?" he jabbed. "In the office now." The woman sighed and rolled her eyes at her brother but did as she was told. When they were alone, he sighed as he crossed his arms across his chest. "Look, Dylan. I know tomorrow is the anniversary of Danny's death, and I know you're fighting with Anna, but that does not excuse you from showing up here like this. You know the policies. Intoxication at work is intolerable. You leave me no choice in this matter. You either tell me you're sick right now, and I let you take a sick day, or I have to suspend you. Now are you sick as Davin suggested?"
"I'm not sick, Captain! I'm perfectly capable of doing this job!" she snarled.
He shook his head. "Dylan, don't make me do this. Your father would never forgive you. You come from a long line of firefighters, and no Flannery has ever received anything other than commendation. Don't mar your family's name by doing this, Dylan. Just tell me your sick, and you can go home to try again another day. This is your last chance. Think about it."
"I'm not sick, Captain. I'm here, ready and willing to do my job."
"You're not here, Dylan. You haven't been here in three years. You haven't been ready to do this job for three years. Physically you're fine. You're in the best shape of your life, but mentally you're still at the World Trade Center. You haven't left that place. You haven't left that moment, whatever that moment is. Maybe time off is what you need. You're on a two-week suspension starting today. Now get out here and find your head. Next time you will be fired."
Without a word the redhead left the office. She didn't speak to anyone, not even Davin, as she immediately stormed out of the firehouse. She didn't know where to go just then. There was no one she could confide in, because everyone in her family was working, and she was still mad at Anna. Her world felt as if it was collapsing in on her suddenly, and she didn't know where to turn. Hopping on the subway, she headed down into the financial district and then walked to the now gaping hole where the Towers had once stood. Leaning with her head against the chainlink fence as a misty rain drizzled over the city, she just stared into the pit as she thought of Danny.
Life had just not been the same without him, and Dylan wasn't sure it ever would. She just couldn't move on the way the rest of her family seemed to have done. She knew she held the secrets of that horrific day deep inside her heart, secrets that made it impossible to forgive or forget what happened. He had meant everything to her, and she had lost her most beloved companion that day. She had lost her soul in that pile of rubble. Now even all of that had been removed to make room for a new beginning, but she just didn't know if she could do the same or if she even merited a second chance at life. Danny never got that opportunity, and she felt he had been far more deserving. Turning her head skyward, tears cascaded over her face, mixing with the rain.
For the rest of the day, Dylan stayed there just glaring at the place where her life had forever been changed. What once had been full of happiness and hope had twisted itself into an excruciating torment. Every breath pained her, for it was one more that Danny didn't get a chance to take. Finally as dark covered the city and the lights of the memorial came to existence, the redhead turned to go. Her head and heart hurt in unfathomable pain from the emotions and lack of nourishment. Not wanting to go home though, she walked a few blocks to a tiny pub she had visited with her band before, and she remained there stuck on a barstool drowning in her only shield from agony until it closed. Loaded up on food and alcohol, she returned to that place where she had stood the entire day, to resume her vigil.
It was only when morning came, and she heard the bells of various churches signal their continuing remembrance of the city's tragedy, did she turn to leave. People were starting to gather, and she did not want to be amongst a mass of the grieving. Returning home she immediately crawled into her bed and cried herself to sleep. It was late when she roused from a restless sleep. Immediately she went into the kitchen to seek out her old friend, always faithful, sitting in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator. Taking that first swallow, she tried to relax her mind. She hit the blinking light on her phone to listen to the messages waiting there. Three from Anna. One from Davin and one from her father. She erased them all and checked her watch. Her band had a show to do in three hours, and she needed to be down in the pub to set up for the concert.
Going through the motions, she showered and dressed before heading downstairs. Her father was not there, but she wasn't surprised. He usually took that day off himself but knew he'd be around later. Immediately taking advantage of that fact, she poured herself a pint and then headed to help her band set up their equipment. No one spoke to her though unless absolutely necessary, but she knew it was only because they had been trained to stay away from her when she was in that kind of a mood.
It was only when she handed out the play list for the night that Davin spoke to her. "Dylan, what the hell is this?" he asked, pointing to the last song of their set.
"It's a song, Davin. What's it look like?"
"You never sing this song. You always refuse. Why start now?"
"Because I feel like fucking singing it. Even if I'm the only one up there doing it, I'm singing it tonight. If you don't want to, you don't have to."
Her brother shook his head. "Don't do this to yourself, Dylan. Intentionally inflicting pain on yourself isn't right."
"It's for Danny, and I'm doing it. I don't care what you say," she snipped, stalking off to get another beer.
Uptown Anna and Blair sat in Anna's apartment debating whether or not she would attend the concert that night. "She hasn't even bothered to call me, Blair. I don't know if she would want me there."
"Well, I'm going for Michael. I think you should go. I'm sure she could use your support, Anna. This has probably been a tough few days for her. Michael told me she got suspended from the firehouse. The girl is obviously in pain over Danny. If you love her as I know you do, you should be there even if she still is mad at you."
"You're right. I know you're right. I just don't want to fight tonight, and I know we're going to as soon as she sees me. I could tell she was angry when she left here the other night, and given that she hasn't returned any calls, I'm expecting a huge blowup."
"Well, you should have handled things with your father differently."
"I know. I'm glad it's out in the open, because Julie's finally stopped harassing me, but I knew he was going to be less than thrilled with Dylan."
"Did he actually say that?"
"He just said she couldn't care for me the way I deserved and that the fact that she's a firefighter is unnerving. He would worry about her out there. It's hard enough to let her go and do that, but to have my father worrying as well, it's too much. I love her though, more than I've ever loved anyone. I just don't know what to do."
"You need to do what's best for you if even it means telling your father he's wrong. If you really feel that strongly about her, you're going to have to take that stand. I think he'll come around given enough time."
"I don't even want to think about that right now. We should get going to this concert. It's starting to get late," she said, checking her watch. "Let me just go change."
Half an hour later they arrived at the pub. As usual it was packed with patrons, but they all greeted Anna and Blair as the regulars they had become as they made their way over toward the bar. Keane was serving the drinks that evening and smiled at the two of them pleasantly. "Anna, Blair, what can I get you two?"
Both declined a beverage. "How long have they been on?" Anna asked.
"Not too long. You've only missed a couple of songs. I should warn you, though. Dylan's in rare form. I've never seen in this bad a shape."
"She seems to be singing all right."
"Yeah. She's singing fine, but she's in a nasty mood, and she's had a lot of Guinness. You might be better off just steering clear."
The brunette nodded at Keane's warning as she watched her lover across the room. Outwardly Dylan looked drunk as she sang but not upset. However, she knew Keane was a good observer. Even more she could see the redhead look her way once and stare for a long moment before breaking their eye contact, not to gaze at her again for most of the rest of the concert, which was a sure indicator something was amiss.
Dylan did her best to ignore Anna and Blair, but her rage at Anna started to simmer through the pain she was trying to suppress. She didn't like having her there on such a night. However, she knew there was nothing to do, at least until she left the stage, so she carried on the best she could. Finally at the end of the night just before the band sang its last song, Dylan looked at her brother. He shook his head at her, but she ignored it. Casting her eyes back out over the crowd, she swallowed hard.
"All right everyone. As we close tonight, there is a song I want to sing. Looking out over this crowd, I see that I'm among friends here, and as friends of mine, you all know that three years ago today my brother Danny lost his life at the World Trade Center trying to save the lives of other innocent people. In his memory, I would like to sing a song. It's an old Irish favorite, one that I have refused to sing for long time until tonight. The song I'm going to sing is called, 'Danny Boy', and if you know the words please feel free to sing along in my brother's memory." Finishing off her last bit off beer in her glass, she cleared her throat as a hush fell over the crowd and began singing with tears already starting to flow down her face,
"Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me."
When she finished with her song, she silently left the stage and headed outside to get some fresh air. Leaning up against the window of the front of the bar, the tears streamed down her face as she allowed herself to feel the pain in her chest. She was so far removed from her surroundings that she jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Dylan looked up and saw Anna's blue eyes. Suddenly that pain transfused into anger as she spat, "What are you doing here?"
"I came to watch you sing. I've been worried about you since the other night."
"You shouldn't be! After all, I don't seem to mean enough to you that you'd tell your father about me!"
"I'm sorry about that, Dylan. I should have. It was a mistake, but I love you."
"Well, I don't love you, Anna, not any more! You know I've never felt as out of place as I did that night! You might as well marry Julie! You're as bad as she is! As far as I'm concerned, this is over between us! I never want to see you again!"
"Dylan, please, you can't mean that," she pleaded as she began to cry.
"I mean it, Anna! Julie's right! You two are meant to be together! You deserve each other! Apparently all I was to you was a distraction! You wanted some lover to heal those wounds that she inflicted! Well, I did that for you, Anna, and as she asked, I probably taught you a thing or two along the way! Now just go back to where you belong!" she yelled, starting to walk away. She heard the door of the pub open as she turned the corner of the building. However, she didn't bother to see who it was as she went to the garage and fumbled with the lock.
"Dylan, what are you doing?" Davin abruptly inquired from behind her.
"I'm getting out of here! I don't want to see the sight of her any more!" she screamed, thrusting a finger in Anna's direction as she opened the lock. Throwing open the garage door, she went over to her motorcycle.
"Dylan, you are not getting on that bike!" Davin yelled. "You're drunk!"
Ignoring her brother she shouted, "Just try to stop me!"
Davin grabbed her by the shirt as she tried to back the bike out of the garage. "You're not going anywhere!"
"Oh, yes I am! Now leave me the hell alone!"
"I will not let you get on this bike! You're going to kill someone with the shape you're in! I will not let you turn into a murder like the guy who killed Ma!"
"I am not drunk, and you can't stop me from going, Davin! Now just get the hell off of me!" She shoved him back as she continued to maneuver her bike out toward the street.
Nevertheless, he grabbed her again, muscling her away from the motorcycle. It landed with a loud crash against the pavement. "You want to go, Dylan, you do it over my dead body! I'm not going to let you kill yourself or some innocent person! Now just leave it alone!"
"No!" she screamed.
Before Anna even realized it, a scuffle ensued as the siblings tried to wrestle each other to the street. Finally though Davin pushed his sister so hard, she stumbled, losing her balance. Landing hard against the cement, her head smacked against the brick of the building. She groaned in pain but remained slumped against the ground. Anna screamed as she saw blood start to saturate her lover's hair. Instantly Davin was on the ground next to his sister. "Oh God, oh God! Anna, get Da! We need an ambulance!" Turning to his sister, he whimpered as he cradled her. "Dylan, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
Rushing inside the pub, Anna grabbed Keane by the sleeve. "Keane, we need an ambulance! Dylan's been hurt!" she exclaimed frantically.
He shouted at the bartender to call an ambulance and then followed Anna out to the street. A crowd started to trail behind them. He knelt next to his kids. "What happened?" he asked of Davin as he gently parted his daughter's hair to try to find the wound.
"We got in a fight. She wanted to leave on her bike, and I refused to let her. We started shoving each other, and she hit her head against the wall," he whimpered (What word do you mean here??) in remorse. "I didn't mean to hurt her."
Keane nodded calmly but instructed, "Get that bike back in the garage, Davin. I don't want the cops showing up and thinking she was trying to drive drunk." Turning to the brunette, he dug some keys from his pocket. "Anna, go up to my apartment and get my first aid kit. It's in the kitchen under the sink."
Anna did as she was told, rushing up to Keane's apartment. Getting back downstairs, he had apparently found the cut on his daughter's head and was applying pressure with the apron he had been wearing. She handed him the kit and asked, "Is there anything I can do?"
"No. She's going to be fine, just needs a few stitches. Everyone just go back inside the pub, even you, Anna. She's been ranting about you, so just go away. Davin and I will wait with her until the ambulance gets here."
"But," she began to protest, but angry brown eyes glared at her. She knew Keane wasn't upset with her, just the situation, but she couldn't help cowering a little. Nodding her head, she whispered, "Okay."
Heading back inside the brunette stood at the door, watching for the ambulance. She was worried about the redhead, even though her heart hurt for what had been said. Dylan had broken up with her, and she was still in shock over it but had no time to think as she saw flashing lights zoom by. Unable to stay where she was, she went outside once again and hung around at the corner to watch from a distance. The EMTs carefully loaded Dylan into the ambulance, and then Keane joined them before they took off once again. Seeing Davin just standing there holding his head in his hands, she approached cautiously.
The man looked up at the sound of her footsteps. "She's going to be okay, Anna," he tried to assure.
She nodded her head. "Are you?"
He shrugged. "It was an accident. I didn't mean to push her that hard. I just didn't know how to keep her off her bike."
"You did the right thing, Davin. She could have killed someone."
"I think that was the point," he mumbled. "I just don't know what to do for her. She's out of control."
"You just keep loving her no matter what."
He nodded. "I'm sorry she ended things with you. You're a nice girl, and I thought she loved you."
"I thought so, too, but I guess it's over. She made it pretty clear she doesn't want to see me again," the woman said as she began to cry.
Davin put his arms around her. "You deserve happiness, Anna. Dylan's just not able to have a relationship right now, not with you, not even with herself. You shouldn't sell yourself short. Life is too precious to take less than the best."
"But I love her, Davin."
"You're a good woman, Anna. She was lucky to have you, even for a short while, but it's over now, and she's going to suffer for that."
Clinging to him a little tighter, Anna just tried to take deep breaths. After a moment she asked, "How do you do it? How do you cope with Danny's death? What do you do that she can't seem to do?"
He shrugged as tears wet his eyes. "It's hard. Don't get me wrong. He was my little brother, and he had such a full life ahead of him. When he died, I wasn't sure I was going to make it either, but I had people counting on me. I had a wife and son and daughter at the time who needed me. They were my reasons for living. They were my reasons for getting out of bed everyday and putting on my gear to go to work. They needed me then, and they need me now. Whenever I feel like it gets to be too much, I just look in Stacie's eyes, and I remember the reasons for living. Danny didn't get that chance, so it's my obligation to live enough life for the both of us. Dylan didn't have anyone counting on her when Danny died. She had a serious girlfriend, but they were twenty-one years old. Their relationship couldn't stand up through the stress. If I hadn't known Stacie for most of my life, I'm not sure ours would have either. Dylan just became so far removed from everyone that cared about her, and she remains that way until this day. My relationship with her has never been the same, because she keeps me out. She keeps Da out. She will not talk about her pain. You know, the last time I saw the two of them together, they were racing up the stairwell of the first Tower. I watched them go, but I never once thought I wouldn't see him again. Something happened up there, and whatever it is, it's keeping Dylan in anguish. I think I know, but I've never been able to ask her. I think she was the last person to see Danny alive, and that is what makes it so difficult."
Anna sobbed into his shoulder as they held each other closely for several minutes. She could feel Davin's pain acutely, but the man seemed to at least have his life in perspective, even in his grief. She just wished Dylan did as well and mourned the fact that she had been dismissed from the redhead's life when she knew she had love and support to extend. Knowing there was nothing she could do though, she reluctantly pulled herself out of Davin's strong arms. "I guess I should go. Dylan's lucky to have you for a brother. Please take care of her."
"I'm going to try," he promised. "I'm sorry she's caused you this pain, Anna. I wish I could make it better."
The blue-eyed woman shook her head. "This was my fault. I brought it on myself. I just never thought it would end this way. I'm just going to go now."
"Take care of yourself, Anna."
"You too, Davin, and if you get a chance, tell Dylan I'm sorry."
Going back into the bar, she found her best friend sitting with Michael. "Are you all right?" Blair inquired.
"No. Dylan broke up with me. I'm going to go home now."
"I'll come with you."
"No. You stay here. I'm just going to go to bed and try to forget these last few months ever happened."
***************************************************************
The following afternoon Anna was still in bed when she heard the doorbell to her apartment chime. Blair had left about an hour ago, so she ignored it, but it continued for a few minutes before she heard the sound of a key in the lock. Wondering who it was, she sat up and peered out her bedroom door down the long hallway. She saw her father standing there with a bouquet of flowers. "Dad," she called.
Hearing her voice, he came down the hall, stalling in the doorway of her bedroom. "Sweetie, Blair called me this morning. She told me what happened and said that you might need a shoulder to cry on," he explained, coming to the bed and taking a seat. He set the flowers on the nightstand.
Instantly the brunette was in her father's arms, weeping uncontrollably. "It's over. She broke up with me," she muttered into his suit jacket.
"Because of the other night?"
She nodded. "She said she didn't love me any more, Dad."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I don't see how that could be true. I saw the way she looked at you. I don't understand how someone can look at another person with such adoration and then three days later say they don't love you. Are you sure it wasn't something else?"
"She said I made her feel like a distraction and that I should just go back to Julie. She said that I used her to mend my own broken heart over the way Julie treated me, and I didn't think she meant enough to me to tell you the truth."
"Did you tell her that you had told me the truth?"
"No, I didn't get a chance. She starting fighting with her brother and ended up cracking her head open against a brick wall."
"That's some fight," he mentioned.
She nodded. "Last I saw her she was being put into an ambulance. I just can't believe it's over, Dad. I love her more anything else in this world," she sobbed.
He brushed back her long hair in sympathy. "I know. I could see it in your eyes when she was here. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it actually."
"I know you don't think she's good enough for me, Dad, but right now that's the last thing I need to hear," she warned, tensing in his arms.
"That's not what I was going to say. You know, when I introduced you to Julie, I really did think she was a great match for you. I wouldn't have done it otherwise. However, over the years I began to think that maybe she wasn't what was best for you."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"You seemed happy. You seemed in love, and I didn't want to taint that with my opinions."
"But you had never been afraid to tell me what you thought before."
"Well, I know, but that was more out of not wanting you to get caught up with the wrong people. I saw what it did to Blair, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to you. That's why I was so hard on who you dated. I thought Julie was perfect for you, but sometimes even I can make mistakes. In fact over the last year, I began to think you shouldn't marry her, but I wasn't going to say that, because you seemed so happy."
"I wasn't. I was just trying to hide it from you."
"Well, I'm sorry for that, sweetie. I never wanted you to think you couldn't be honest with me about your girlfriends. Out of curiosity, what did happen with Julie?"
"She cheated on me. She had another woman on the side through our entire relationship, but I didn't know that until I walked in on them one day on top of Julie's desk at work."
"The law partner?" he questioned.
"How did you know that?" she asked in confusion.
"I just suspected. I noticed the way that woman looked at Julie sometimes, and Julie seemed to be more interested in what she had to say than you. I'm sorry you felt you had to stay in that relationship for me. I still don't understand how she had the capacity to try to hit you as Dylan said, though."
"Oh, well, one night Julie came over here and found Dylan. She was ranting on and on about us having to still get married, and I was yelling at her about cheating. I was so mad I hit her, and she raised her hand to strike me back, but Dylan jumped in and stopped it."
"Such a valiant one, that Dylan. I knew I liked her the moment I met her. I saw something in her I never saw in Julie."
"What's that?"
"The way she looked at you. Even if she was trying to hide it, she wasn't successful, and I'm glad. I saw what had been missing all along in your relationship with Julie. Dylan looked at you with pure love and adoration. She hung on your every word. She gazed at you like you were the most important person in the room. As soon as I saw that, I knew if Julie wasn't already gone, she would be shortly. You just can't compete with someone who dotes on you the way she did."
"But she's not like us, Dad. She doesn't have money. She doesn't have anything."
"That's where you're wrong. That's where I was wrong. She has something far greater. She has love for you, Anna. She has love for her family. I admired how she jumped at the chance to help her brother and sister-in-law. I thought having someone to take care of you was the most important thing in the world, and even though I am right, I was misguided in what I thought that meant. She showed me what that truly meant. Having someone to take care of you emotionally is of far greater importance than financially. I've taken care of you financially your entire life, and I will continue to do that. That's my job as a father. I'd much rather have to take care of you and Dylan, knowing that she's giving you all you need emotionally than leaving you in the hands of someone like Julie, who although she's financially successful, can't seem to find time to take care of your needs. The look in your eyes that night when Dylan walked out that door was all the proof I needed. She has a good heart, and she loves you."
"Then why did she break up with me?"
"I don't know the answer to that, but I do know she loves you, Anna. She can't pretend otherwise. Why don't you try to make amends?"
"I don't know if she would take me back."
"You won't know unless you try. Just think about it. Would it help if I talked to her?"
The brunette shrugged. "I'm sorry, Dad, that I've kept this from you all this time."
"It's all right. I'm sorry you felt you had to. Just promise me you'll always tell me the truth about this stuff. I love you, and I just want what's best for you. I just want you to be happy, and I've never seen your face light up the way it did around Dylan that night. She could be the one, Anna, and if that's the case, I can come to accept that. I'm not going to like that she's a firefighter, because I'll always be worried for you both, but I'll take solace in the fact that my little girl has the love of her life."
"It is hard to think about her out there," she admitted.
"Look. Now that all this is out in the open, I want you to promise me something. No matter what happens with Dylan, promise me that you will not marry for anything but love. Don't make the same mistakes your mother and I have. You almost did with Julie, thanks in large part to me. Even if I don't agree with your choice, remind me that I said this to you," he said with a gentle smile.
"I will, Dad. Thank you."
"Anything for my girl. You deserve only the best, Anna, and if Dylan is what's best, then I'm for it."
Lying back down against her pillow, the brunette wiped her cheeks with her hand. "I just don't know if she'll take me back."
"Don't give up if she's the one you want. That's the only advice I can give you. Now let me put these flowers in water for you. Be right back."
Down at Dylan's apartment, the firefighter was sitting on the floor in her living room, leaning against the wall and nursing her seventh beer of the day when there was a knock on her door. Rising to get it, she frowned when she saw Blair on the other side. "What are you doing here?" she grumbled.
"I came to get Anna's stuff for her."
"Oh, well, help yourself. It's all in the bedroom," she said, closing the door as Blair came in. Dylan resumed her position on the floor as Anna's best friend went back into the bedroom.
Half an hour later she reappeared with a suitcase full of stuff. Dropping it by the door, she came and squatted down in front of the redhead. "Have you had all of these today?" she asked, eyes scanning the floor littered with cans.
"Since I came back from the hospital," she confessed, finishing off the one in her hand. She tossed the can aside and opened another that was sitting next to her. "Want one?"
Blair took the one from her friend's hand for a sip. "Tell me something, Dylan. Why do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Drink like you're guzzling poison to kill yourself. That is the point, isn't it? To kill yourself?" she sharply inquired.
"Shut up, Blair. You have no idea what you're talking about."
"You don't think so? Oh, I think I understand you better than anyone. You see, I've been there, Dylan. I know what it's like to be in such a dark place that you think there is no way out, except in my case it wasn't Guinness I used as my crutch."
Intrigued by the comment, the redhead asked, "What was it?"
The model brushed the empty beer cans aside to make a place for herself next to Dylan on the floor before sitting. Taking another sip of beer, she answered, "Cocaine. I was in college, and I was modeling. I was living such a fast life, and I had a ton of supposed friends, but on the inside I was hurting. I was lonely. I hated myself. I wanted to end it all."
"Did you try?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact I did. One night I got high and decided that I couldn't take it any more. I took a bunch of sleeping pills and just went to sleep, hoping never to wake again. That should have killed me, but for some reason I survived with hardly even a repercussion."
"Does Anna know?"
"She was there. She found me and got me to the hospital. She's the one who saved me. You see, Dylan, I felt like I didn't have anyone that cared about me, but she proved me wrong. Anna loved me enough to fight with me until I saw the light and got into rehab. She was there the entire time, but I just couldn't see her through all my pain. You have so many people that love and care for you, Dylan. You just can't see them through that hurt you're feeling, and alcohol is just making it worse. You think you feel better, because you're numb, but in the end it's just making it more difficult to see the truth. You're never going to get past this if you don't face that grief you have inside you."
A moment of silence passed between them as they shared the open can of beer. "You know, that day started like any other. Davin, Danny, and I all took the subway down to the firehouse, because we were working the day shift. It was a bright morning, hardly a cloud in the sky. I remember that the three of us were standing in the garage telling jokes with some of our other co-workers when we found out that the first Tower had been hit. We were sort of in shock, but soon the call came for us to assist, even though it was out of our jurisdiction. As usual we jumped into our gear and headed out in the truck. I never could have imagined what it would look like when we got there. When we pulled up on the scene, the other Tower had just been struck, and there were frantic people everywhere. It was chaos, but we all just did what we had been trained to do. Davin, Danny, and I led our company into that first Tower. There were just so many people trying to get out that Davin and the rest of the group dispersed themselves out in the stairwell to try to direct traffic, but Danny and I kept going. Higher and higher we raced those stairs, trying as fast as we could to get to the crash site to see if there was anyone up there that needed assistance. I could feel my heart pounding and sweat pouring down my back. It's a lot of work to run seventy-plus stories, but I could feel Danny just on my heels, and it kept me going."
Dylan paused for a moment and took another long swallow of beer. She slowly stood and walked over to the bookshelf where she picked up a firefighter's glove that had been sitting on the second to top shelf. She gazed at it for a moment before squeezing it tightly in her fist. Moving again she stood in front of the window, gazing out before bowing her head. Her forehead touched the glass as she began to cry.
"I've never seen or felt a fire so incredibly hot in my entire life. I felt like I was cooking in my suit, but Danny and I still wildly began to search for anyone that might still be alive up there, and then we heard a loud rumbling sound. We looked out where windows once were and saw the other Tower start to crumple. It fell on top of itself, and we heard the screaming of people from the street even as far up as we were. It was in that moment I realized the danger we were in. I started to crack. It was just too much to take, but Danny remained strong. He kept looking even as I began to get hysterical. Finally I just grabbed him by the jacket, and I screamed, 'We're going to die, Danny! We have to get out of here!' I saw it come over his face. He realized I was right, so we started back toward the stairwell. I was running so hard, but I turned to see if he was behind me. When I did that, I tripped on something. I don't know quite what. Everything was so hot up there it was literally melting. It could have been a desk or a body for all I know. I fell to the ground, and he was so close behind me, that he tripped and fell as well. We were all tangled as we tried to get back to our feet. He reached down to take my hand and help me up when we heard that rumbling noise again. Both of us froze and stared at each other. I'll never forget that look of absolute fright in his dark eyes. I'm sure I was looking at him the same way, and then that was it. That was the last time I ever saw him."
Feeling arms embrace her, Dylan turned and placed her head into Blair's shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Dylan."
The firefighter shook her head. "At one point while I was lost in the rubble, I thought I might have been cognizant. I couldn't feel anything but heat. It was so black that I thought I was dead. I thought to myself that I had died and gone to hell. I don't know if that was real or a dream though. I came to in the hospital a few days later, and they said when they pulled me out, I was clutching this glove in my hand but that I was wearing both of my own," she said, holding it up for Blair to see. "This is Danny's glove. It's the only thing of him that's ever been found."
Blair put her hand over her friend's that held Danny's glove. "Do you blame yourself for what happened?"
"He may have made it if I hadn't fallen," she explained.
"Neither of you may have made it if you had been in a different location. You just don't know. Do you believe in God, Dylan?" The redhead nodded. "Do you believe that Danny is with God?" Again the firefighter nodded slowly. "Do you believe one day you'll see him again?"
"Yeah," she confessed.
The blonde nodded her head. "Then it seems to me that you are wasting your life mourning someone that you know you're going to see again. Maybe not today or even tomorrow, but you believe in your heart that you will see Danny again, and you'll be reunited with your brother. Do you think he'd want you to spend your life worrying and hurting over his disappearance?"
"He's dead, Blair."
"I know. I know that it can't be easy to love someone so deeply and then to have them just lost to you so abruptly. If you believe that he's with God and that you're going to see him again, you must believe he's sitting up there watching over right now."
"Of course I do."
"Do you think he likes what he sees?" she questioned.
Dylan didn't answer, but her taut frame began to relax in the model's arms. "He'd want me to live my life the best I could."
"Are you doing that?"
"No," she replied.
"Then change. If you can't change for yourself, change for him, Dylan. You know he'd want you to live your life to its fullest. Do it for Danny until you can learn to do it for yourself again."
The redhead sighed and dropped her head forward into the blonde's hair. "You're a good friend, Blair."
"I care about you, Dylan. I know it's hard, but you have to try for him."
Dylan nodded. "I'll try," she whispered.
She reached for the Guinness can in her friend's hand, but Blair didn't relinquish it. Instead she looked into green eyes and said, "This is where you start. You have a decision to make here, Dylan. You can drink and you block out all that pain, or you can not drink and deal with it. You've done the hardest part already. You faced your pain. You named it. To beat it, you have to be stronger than it, and you can't do that if you're drunk."
Dylan nodded. "All right. I'll try it this way."
"Good. I think you'll see that I'm right in time. Now I think we should try to get you into the shower. You still have all this dried blood in your hair. Do you need some help with that?"
For the first time that day, the redhead cracked a grin. "How could I say no to that offer? One of the world's best looking women offering me help in the shower? I'd be a fool if I said anything but yes," she joked.
The Swede laughed. "You know what I meant."
"I think I can manage, Blair, so stop hitting on me."
With another chuckle and a swat on the seat of the firefighter's jeans, she said, "Get in there. I'll be here when you get out."
"Naked on my bed?" she pressed.
"Maybe," she teased with sparkling brown eyes. "Go on. I'm going to get these cans off the floor."
Dylan went into her bathroom and started her shower. She took her time, making sure all the blood was out of her hair before washing the rest of her body. When she was finished, she pulled on her robe and headed into her bedroom for a clean change of clothes. She smiled when she saw the model lounging on her bed, flipping through a magazine. Not saying anything to her though, the firefighter went about her business of getting dressed. Dropping her robe onto the floor unabashedly, she pulled on a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt before turning to the bed. She saw Blair quickly advert her eyes, pretending she hadn't been watching. The redhead gave a devious grin. "Like what you see?" she pried, poking her friend lightly in the side as she joined her on the bed.
"Hey, you're the one that put it on display. I just wanted to see what you had under there. No wonder Anna gets all hot and bothered whenever you're near. You're as hot as Michael."
"I'll take that as a compliment. After all, between him and Davin, they are sort of the firehouse hotties. At least from the way I overhear the straight girls talking about it."
"You have straight girls in your fire company?"
"Three actually. They don't hang out with us much though outside of work."
"What do they think of you?"
Dylan shrugged. "I think they think of me as just one of the guys, which is fine. That's all I've ever wanted. It took awhile, but they see me as their equal."
"Actually, from the way Michael tells it, you're more than their equal. You're their leader, even though you're the youngest."
"It's the Flannery charm," she said with a smile. "The fact that I ogle women as well as they do helps."
Blair nodded. "They're into that."
"Really? What have you heard?"
"Oh, Michael just said that some of the guys talk about you and Anna in the showers. They think you're pretty good with the ladies."
"That's because I am," she stated with a cocky grin.
"Yes, I can definitely see that now. You know, I remember the first time I saw you. We were at the pub, and Anna was nervous about seeing you. You came to the table and flashed that smile, and suddenly my own head started to spin. When you walked away, I actually stared at your ass," she confessed with a laugh. "I told Anna she had to get in your pants. What I didn't tell her is that I wanted in those same pants."
Dylan flushed lightly as she propped her head up on her arm. "Really?"
Blair nodded. "I've never been into women, but you definitely have something about you, Dylan, that turned even my head. If Anna hadn't been so head over heels for you, I might have tried to sample some of the Flannery goods."
"The Flannery goods are still up for grabs, you know," she said with a laugh.
Blair smiled at her friend. "And if Anna didn't love you so much and I didn't love her so much, I'd be the first to grab them. But she loves you, Dylan, more than I've ever seen her love anyone."
"I love her, Blair. I love her so much it hurts inside."
"Then why did you break her heart like this?"
"She deserves more than what I can give her. She's deserves a woman who is a great success and has lots of money, who can take care of her. I can't give her those things she wants. I can't even buy her clothes or jewelry. Hell, I can barely afford to take her out on a real date. You all go out all the time and have fun. You spend money like it grows on trees, and I just don't have that. Julie has that."
"She doesn't want Julie. She doesn't care about the money, Dylan. If she did she would marry Julie and turn a blind eye to her infidelity, but she didn't do that, because she knows she deserves love."
"If that were true, she would have told her Dad about us a long time ago."
"She told him that night after you left dinner. She told me that he saw the way you were looking at his daughter and knew there was something between you. The love there is so deep you can't even hide it when you try. You know, James loves her but can be a bit overbearing. I know if he just had a chance to get to know you, he'd see what Anna and I see."
"What? That I'm hot?" she jibed, half in jest.
"No, silly. He would see what a good person you were and that you really cared for Anna. She's never been happier than with you these last few months."
"Well, I've loved her being around, but she deserves someone who has stability. I don't have it. Everyday that I go to work, it could very well be my last. What I do is dangerous but I love it. I love the excitement and the rush, the adventure of it. Most women can't handle that though, and I don't blame them. I don't want Anna to worry about me every time I go to work."
"But she already does whether she's with you or not, Dylan. I'll be honest with you. She's not thrilled with the firefighting thing, but what has her concerned is not that as much as it is your drinking problem. That is what worries her. Last night you tried to ride your motorcycle drunk, and you may have succeeded if Davin hadn't stepped in. Who knows what might have happened? Every time she sees you drinking, she gets worried. She's seen me go down that spiral, and she doesn't want that to happen to you. That plagues her more than the fact that you run into burning buildings while everyone else is trying to run out."
"I didn't realize it's such an issue for her."
"It's a huge issue for her. Not only do you get drunk, I've seen that you have the propensity to become a bit of an ass when you do."
"I do not," she protested.
"Hello, last night was a perfect example of that. Your rooftop party is another. You don't have to always be one of guys, Dylan. She loves you for you, not who you pretend to be with the rest of your crew. You know, she's told me that she finds you most charming when it's just the two of you, and you're gazing deeply into her eyes. She says she can feel the love you have for her by looking in those green eyes. She says she feels it all the way in the bottom of her soul." Giggling, she flushed lightly as she continued, "She said other things too."
"Like what?" Dylan inquired in interest.
Blair propped up on her elbow as she faced the redhead. "I shouldn't tell you."
"Oh, you can't do that. You can't lead me on like that and then just drop me. Don't be a tease," the firefighter growled, putting her hand on the blonde's hip.
The model laughed. "Anna is so right about you. You do have a certain essence of dangerous adventure about you that is incredibly sexy."
"She said more than that."
"Yes, she did. Actually told me what it was like to be with you," she admitted, breaking their gaze for a moment.
"Really? Tell me."
"She described it in one word. Heavenly. She said what she likes most is that you're never quick to be finished. You like to enjoy all of it. It's not just about reaching the summit but about the joy of the ascent. She said that you said that to her once in similar words, and that was the moment she knew she was going to fall hard for you." Meeting gazes again, she said, "And she has, Dylan. Please, I beg you. Make amends if you still love her. No matter what, the two of you can get through this. She was there for me when I needed someone the most, and I know she wants to be there for you. She just wants to love you with no strings, no expectations of what you are to become. She wants to be with you, the woman you are right now, problems, pain, and all."
Dylan nodded. "I want that too, Blair."
"Good. Now I think I better get going. I told her I'd be back at her place a long time ago, but seeing you naked was more important," she teased.
"My only regret is that I didn't get to see you naked," Dylan joked, as both of them rose from the bed.
"Oh, please. You have a swimsuit calendar at the firehouse with me in it practically naked. How much more do you want to see?" she asked with a bat of her lashes. Dylan didn't answer the question, but her eyes did the talking, with a sweep of her gaze. "I'll tell you what, Dylan. Why don't you just ask Michael all about that?" she questioned with an innocent smile.
"Yeah and get punched? I don't think so. I suppose you'll just have to remain a mystery."
"Some things are better left that way, don't you think? Leaves a little room for your imagination to work." Putting a hand on the firefighter's face, Blair gave her a warm smile. "I'm going back to Anna's now with her stuff. Don't call her yet. Give me a chance to talk to her and help smooth some things over. Can you wait to talk to her until tomorrow?"
"If you think it's best."
"I do. That will give her some time to figure out the best way to approach you. She's still upset that she hurt you, and I know she's going to want to apologize for that somehow. Just give her a little time, and then call her tomorrow morning. Maybe the two of you can meet for breakfast or coffee."
"All right. I can do that."
"Good. This means a lot to her and to me that you're willing to try, Dylan. I think both of you will be better off for it." Pausing for a moment, the blonde smiled at her friend before suddenly threading her hand through red hair and pulling Dylan to her for a gentle kiss on the mouth.
Slightly breathless when Blair pulled away, Dylan asked, "What was that for?"
"For loving Anna enough not to stray, for loving her enough to try to give up your addiction. You could have ruined it all back there in your bedroom, but you didn't. Julie hit on me the first time she was alone with me, put her hands in all sorts of inappropriate places, so much so that I slapped her. I didn't tell Anna about that, and looking back I should have."
Dylan blushed as she said, "Well, I did flirt with you a little."
"But somehow I know had I tried to seduce you, you wouldn't have let me. You love Anna that much."
"I love her that much, Blair," she confirmed.
"She's a lucky woman, because you can kiss," the Swede teased, patting Dylan's face again affectionately. "That will just be our secret, though. You can live with the fact that you're the only the second woman I've ever kissed, can't you?"
"Certainly."
"Good. I'm going to tell Anna I did that, but don't tell Michael. He'll want me to do it again in front of him," she jested.
"That's probably true. Will she be okay with that?"
"Sure. I asked her if I could. Besides, she's the first woman I ever kissed."
"As friends or more than friends?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Blair laughed. "I have to go now. I'll see you later."
Dylan nodded. "Thanks for coming over, Blair, and thanks for listening. I feel better now that I've told someone the truth."
"I was glad to be here for you, Dylan, and Anna will be glad to listen whenever you want to talk. Is it okay if I tell her what happened?"
"I think it would be easier if you did."
"Then I will. Take care of yourself."
"Hey, wait a second before you go. I want you to have something." The redhead disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, coming back with an opened case of Guinness. "Will you take this with you? I don't think I should have any here in the apartment."
"Sure. I'll be glad to take it. I'll see you soon, gorgeous," she said with a wink before she was out the door on her way down the stairs.
Anna was still with her father when Blair returned. She put the suitcase of her friend's belongings down in the living room and then took a seat on the sofa next to Anna. Greeting James, she put her arms around the brunette and kissed her on top of the head. She didn't talk much after that until James took his leave of them a little later. Then she asked, "How are you doing?"
Anna shrugged. "Did you see Dylan?"
"Yeah."
"How was she?"
"A lot worse than you. She was drunk."
"Even after last night? I can't believe it."
"We had a long talk, Anna. She told me about Danny."
"What do you mean she told you about Danny? She never talks about him. What did she say?"
"She told me what happened that day. She told me about being in the World Trade Center when it fell. She told me what it was like to watch her brother die. She's never told anyone that story."
"But she told you? Why?"
"Because I told her about the time you saved my life. I told her I knew it what it was like to be so depressed you wanted to kill yourself. That just sort of opened the door, and she slowly walked through it. It really was the most horrific tale I've ever heard."
"Will you tell me?" The blonde nodded. She recalled the events to her friend and held her as Anna started to cry. When she was finished, the brunette was bawling. "My poor Dylan. I can't believe she's kept that in for the last three years. The pain of it."
"She seemed to feel better after getting that off her chest. I convinced her to try to stop drinking to allow herself to work through it all. She agreed to give that a shot."
"Oh, Blair, thank you."
"She still loves you, Anna. She wants to be with you. I told her that you had told you dad about her, and she told me some of her insecurities about thinking she didn't have enough money or stability to make you happy. You two have a lot to work out, but she's willing to try if you are."
"You know I am."
"Well, I advised her to give you a little time to figure out the best way to apologize for what you did. I know you feel bad about it, so I knew you'd want to try to make that up to her, but she wants to see you. I told her to call you tomorrow morning."
Smiling at her best friend, Anna hugged her tightly. "I don't know what I would do without you, Blair. Thank you."
"It's the least I could do. I love you so much, Anna. I just want you to be happy."
"I talked to my dad or more like he talked to me about Dylan. He's okay with it."
"Good. I'm glad he's giving you some breathing room. You are an adult after all." Sighing the blonde said, "Now I have something to confess."
"What's that?"
With a grin, Blair admitted with a laugh, "I saw you girlfriend naked and was she fine!"
"Did you really? How did you manage that?"
"Careful planning. I saw her coming out of the shower. Man, does she have a body. We were right. And the girl can kiss too."
"You kissed her? You naughty woman," Anna reproached with a grin of her own.
"I just snagged a little smooch, no tongue or anything. That girl loves you, Anna. I gave her the bat of the lashes, the sexy smile, even the brush against, and she was all about you."
Anna laughed. "You wanton hussy, don't tell Michael you did that."
"Never. She's quite the keeper, Anna. Take her back before I decide to drizzle hot fudge all over her body and lick it off with painstaking speed."
"I'm going to tell her you said that," Anna teased. "You know I'll take her back. In the meantime though, I have to find a way to apologize. She deserves that much. What do you think I should do? I want it to be something meaningful."
"She's a singer. What about a song?"
"I can't sing."
"What about finding a song that explains how you feel? She'll relate to that."
"Well, that's a thought. I wonder if there is a Billy Joel song that would do it? He's her favorite."
"Let's find out. Get dressed. We're going on a music shopping spree."
The next morning Dylan called early, but Anna was eager to hear from her and suggested they meet at her apartment for a private breakfast to talk. When the redhead arrived, she was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a pressed blue shirt. In her hands she held a dozen roses. "Good morning," she greeted shyly. Anna was in a stylish mini-dress that perfectly matched her eyes.
"Hi. Come on in. You're dressed up."
Dylan shrugged. "I thought you might like this better than some ratty jeans and a t-shirt. These are for you."
Taking the flowers, Anna smiled. "Thank you. They're beautiful. Breakfast is ready. Come into the kitchen."
The firefighter followed Anna into the kitchen to where the table had already been set with everything but the plates. "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked politely.
The shorter woman shrugged. "Just take a seat. I'll bring it to the table."
Moments later both of them were seated. Neither said anything at first as they quietly ate, but their lingering looks at each other were enough of a connection. Dylan knew that she had to say something though, so she finally broke the stillness. "Anna, I just want you to know that I'm so sorry about the way I acted the other night. There was no excuse for that. You know, the last three years without Danny have been extremely hard, and that night I just lost it. I shouldn't have treated you like that, and I never should have said what I did. I didn't mean it. I love you, Anna. I love you so much that it scares me. I'm scared of hurting you or being hurt by you. I just thought somewhere in my mind that you would be better off without a miserable drunk like me."
"You're not a drunk, Dylan. You have a drinking problem, but I know you've been using that as an escape for the pain. I'm worried about you, though. Your own mother was killed by a drunk driver, Dylan, and to see you try to get on your bike the other night was scary. You could have hurt someone."
Dylan nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry I did that. Davin did the right thing."
Anna gave a supportive nod. "Blair told me everything about Danny. I'm so sorry about what happened and the fact that you thought you had no one to tell. I'm also really sorry about what happened with my dad. I should have told him, but I was scared of what he might say. It turns out I didn't have to worry as much as I thought I did. He likes you. He respects you, more than he ever did any other girlfriend of mine. He sees what I see when I look at you. He sees a good heart. I want to be here for you, Dylan, and I want to love you. Because I wasn't sure how to say what I wanted, I actually found something for you that says it better than my own words ever could."
"What's that?"
"A song. It says just what I want to be for you, Dylan."
"Are you going to sing it?" the redhead questioned. She had never heard the brunette sing before, so she was intrigued.
"You know I can't sing, so I'm just going to read it to you," she replied.
"The cold hands
The sad eyes
The dark Irish silence
It's so late
But I'll wait
Through the long night with you
With you
The warm tears
The bad dreams
The soft trembling shoulders
The old fears
But I'm here
Through the long night with you
With you
Oh, what has it cost you
I almost lost you
A long, long time ago
Oh, you should have told me
But you had to bleed to know
All your past sins
Are since past
You should be sleeping
It's all right
Sleep tight
Through the long night with me
With me
No, I didn't start it
You're broken hearted
From a long, long time ago
Oh, the way you hold me
Is all that I need to know
And it's so late
But I'll wait
Through the long night with you
With you."
When she was finished, blue eyes met green. "That's beautiful, Anna. Thank you so much for that."
Cracking a small smile, Anna said, "You once said there was always a Billy Joel song for every occasion."
"I was right, wasn't I?" the redhead inquired, reaching across the table for her girlfriend's hand. "Will you give me another chance, Anna? I pledge to do it better this time."
Nodding her head, the smaller woman smiled as she put Dylan's hand against her cheek. "It's the only thing I want. I want us to be together. I want to help you get through this, Dylan, and I want us to be happy the way I know we can."
Smiling at the woman she loved, Dylan leaned over the table and kissed Anna gently. "I love you. I promise to make you happy."
"You already do," Anna whispered, pulling the redhead closer. "You already do."