Chapter 4

Weary from the constant fighting to save what was theirs from the people that would steal it and gravely disheartened by her surrogate father's arrest and incarceration, Cam let Deb talk her into taking a four day weekend to get away from everything and recharge herself.

She finally broke down and with the strenuous blessings of her uncles; the two women packed up the camping gear in Cam's '49 Ford Apache pickup and took off for a secluded spot that Deb knew of where no one could find them. Her uncles had not only agreed with Deb that Cam needed a break, they took it a step further and forced her to leave both her cell phone and her pager, so she would have an uninterrupted time with just her, her gorgeous caring girlfriend and whatever nature supplied.

The happy couple waved to Cam's two uncles and Kat as they took off down the road. Due to a late start and heavier than normal traffic it was too late to go on to the camp site and set up so they opted to find a room in the nearby town for the night, then go on to the camp grounds in the morning.

Cam was never able to figure out what exactly happened or how it was accomplished, but three days later Cam was sitting in the Benton County Jail facing charges of assault, possession of a controlled substance (crystal meth) and resisting arrest.

Somehow, Cam had ended up in a seedy little "No Tell Motel" she had no idea how she got there. Nor why the Benton County Sheriffs Department had sent ten deputies after her, but she was pretty sure she'd be able to beat these charges, once she was able to fire the scrawny little rat faced Public Defender and brought in her own attorneys. She was amazed that anyone that incompetent would be able to pass the bar exams.

She was feeling fairly confident as she entered the courtroom, as soon as the judge was seated and her case was called. Then she began to get a very bad, sinking feeling about the entire process.

First the judge made a snide comment about the way she was dressed, then when he was told that she was caught in a motel room with another woman, the elderly judge began a heart felt lecture on the invasion of perversion that was running rampant throughout his beloved county.

She knew she was in deep trouble when after she entered her plea of not guilty she heard the judge snort derisively and mumble, "Yeah right, sure you are, pervert" under his breath but loud enough for her and several others to hear it. Cam was even more worried at the hearty chuckles that answered his remark.

When Cam asked to fire the P.D. and bring in her own lawyers, the judge disallowed it saying they didn't need outsiders sticking their nose into Benton County business.

The judge also ruled that Cam be held without bail until she stood trial in two or three weeks, he wasn't sure when he'd be free, he wanted to try this case personally.

As she was taken even the deputies were amazed how the judge had just ridden roughshod over her rights, One of them whispered that to her, letting her know that they had been notified to not allow her to use the phones. She looked at him her face pale as she reviewed the forces arrayed against her.

"I am SO screwed." was all she could say. She was silent and stared straight ahead and was in shock, her mind drawing a blank for a reason to why these people hated her so much. Her answer came from a very unusual source.



Cut off from her uncles and without her usual support system Cam went into a tailspin falling uncontrollably into the deepest darkest depths of depression.

For the first time in over eleven years Cam was completely alone and lost, again. All she could do was sit on the bunk in her cell and stare off into space, not even acknowledging any ones existence. It was obvious to the jailers and officials that if something wasn't done soon the tall, dark, gorgeous, prisoner would be either very sick or more likely dead.

The young woman's heavily scared Id had apparently received one more injury than it could take and was shutting her down, she simply no longer cared. After three days in this condition when her visitor came with something for her to care about.

The guards came for her and escorted the zombie like inmate to the visitor's room. They sat her down at a table then left her there. The door at the other side of the room opened and Deb walked into the room. As soon as her eyes found Cam the tall thin blonde burst into tears, ran to her still seated lover, wrapped her arms around the unmoving woman, and held her close.

The stimulus of the woman she loved crying hysterically and calling for her somehow reached Cam in that far away dark place her mind had gone to hide. Cam slowly became aware of her surroundings and immediately took her crying lover into her arms trying to calm her so Deb could tell her why she was crying. It took a few minutes for Deb to regain enough of her composure to tell Cam what was going on while she was sitting in jail unable to protect her lover. Guilt spread through Cam while she listened to what the officials were doing to her lover.

According to Deb the authorities were scaring her by refusing to let her leave town and making her pay for the room they wouldn't let her leave, and every time she asked why or what she had done all they would tell her was the charges against her were pending.

One of the Sheriff's Deputies told her that if she wanted to know why they were keeping her in town, she should go ask that dyke slut she was sleeping with when she was apprehended.

After finally being able to calm Deb and to calm herself and promising her that she would take care of everything. Cam called for the guards to come and let Deb leave. The guard complied knowing that the prisoner was ready to cooperate with his superiors. Cam was soon led back to her cell.

Depressed and feeling understandably protective Cam decided to give the prosecutor whatever plea bargain he wanted. It was in this mood that Cam was in when to her surprise the D.A. himself strolled into her cell.

At first, she put up a defiant front but the greasy overweight lawyer could read her like a book and to wax metaphorically he played her like a well-tuned fiddle. The first thing he did was assure Cam that the arraignment was just a preview of the real trial, she would face the same judge and she'd already seen the jury pool.

In other words she would be convicted and get the maximum sentence. He was so cocky that he as much as admitted that some major money had changed hands to be sure that she was put away for a long time.

Still showing the brave front, Cam asked if he was there for a reason, or just to gloat. That was when the greasy official revealed the real reason he'd come to her cell.

It appeared that whoever was paying for her bogus incarceration wanted to hurry up and get it over with, so he came to offer her a deal and get himself a substantial bonus. She started to tell the evil fat SOB to go get a flying fuck when she saw him smiling at her as if she was a pork chop.

It was then that the D.A. played his trump card. The way that Cam was set up she was as good as convicted and was on her way to a long prison stay, but if she would agree to a plea bargain, and then they could deal on certain terms.

If she refused not only would she receive the maximum sentence in a max-security prison, but he would also go after her little girlfriend, using the same methods and he would see to it they went to separate facilities so that they would never see each other again.

Under those conditions, Cam had no choice but to give in to his demands. After some heated discussions, Cam and the corrupt official finally worked out a plea that they could both accept.

According to their agreement in return for a guilty plea on the possession charge and agreeing to wave her appeal rights, the prosecutor agreed not to even charge Deb with a crime allowing her to leave town.

Cam would be sentenced to three to six years and her would not oppose her parole. Once it was all written down legally on paper, signed, and notarized it was only three more days before Cam was being processed into Chillicothe Correction Center, or CCC, by the guards, a lot of worse names by the "residents", where the tall, raven haired, blue eyed, uncommonly beautiful, frightened young woman would spend the next few years of her life, alone.

Chapter 5

While Cam waited for the guard to bring her clothes and escort her to the Admin. Building to process out, she thought back over the last six years.

Her thoughts tried to bypass the long mind-numbing tedium of the day-to-day existence in this Hell on Earth but instead went over the highlights of her time as a resident of CCC.

More importantly how she had been changed by the highs and lows of her time here and how some of the changes were for the better and some were definitely not good at all.



At first, everything had gone pretty much as Cam had expected. There had been the usual advances by some of the other inmates, the ones that had simply accepted her and over time become some of her closest associates.

The others, the ones that had been foolish enough to attempt to force themselves on her, paid dearly for the attempt.

One notable incident occurred in the showers shortly after Cam had been put into the general population. A woman called Val had caught the tall beautiful new fish taking her shower and with the help of two of her followers had attempted to take Cam by force. By the time, the incident was over Cam needed stitches in her lip and her thigh where a knife made of glass and masking tape had been stuck into it and broken off. Val and her accomplices, on the other hand, were put in the infirmary for broken bones, various deep cuts, and bruises that went all the way to the bone, and in Val's case a severe concussion. After that, things had gone as smoothly as they could in such a place.

Cam had earned her rep as someone best left alone, and she settled into a daily routine. She had been behind the walls for nearly a year when she was called to the warden's office, where she was introduced to a short stocky man that was very impressively dressed from his expensive custom tailored Italian suit, to his hand made western boots. There was something very familiar about him, but Cam wasn't able to figure out what.

He was introduced as her new lawyer, after saying and answering some coded phrases; Cam was assured that her uncles and Cutter sent him. For the first time since the beginning of this whole mess, Cam was starting to feel like she was gaining a little control at last.

He began by telling her he was using every available resource to obtain a review of the circumstances of her conviction, and the plea agreement. A plus for the man was he didn't lie to Cam or try to give her false hopes.

He truthfully told her that the plea bargain she'd signed with the Benton County Prosecutor was pretty much iron clad and so far, they hadn't been able to find any loopholes in it. Since there were no witnesses to support her claim of coercion, her best hope for release was parole.

She understood and accepted his opinion, and respected the man for his honesty. She told him he was the first honest lawyer she'd seen since the beginning of this ordeal. Before he left, the strangely considerate and familiar man went over a system of complicated codes and conveyances so she could communicate with her family.

The usual messages were to be in the form of personal ads in some of the "biker rags" she was already getting every month by subscription. Also he informed her that her uncles, through the lawyers, had deposited the maximum amount in her account, so that she could get anything she wanted or needed. For her part, Cam reissued her no visitors and no mail orders as the mail was opened and read by the authorities prior to her receiving it and visits were recorded.

He also gave her a list of emergency numbers so she could contact one of her several attorneys, at any time she needed them. He as much as told her that his entire firm was at her service, to handle any problems she had large or small 24/7. It turned out that this short stocky little man was a long time friend of Cutter, who, he assured her, was out of federal lock up and the firm was in the middle of a false imprisonment lawsuit on his behalf.

The lawyer gave her a predatory smile that transformed him into an entirely different man than the one she met and one she wouldn't want to cross. It was then she recognized him as the man Cutter had always called "the Sergeant-Major."

Once she remembered his connection with Cutter, her confidence in the deceptively calm man went way up. It told her this man, like Cutter, had some unusual contacts in both low and high places. He gave her his card containing all of his private numbers, and informed her that any papers she received from him were considered confidential.

Not only must the prison officials let her have them, they were not allowed to know the contents. As the lawyer was preparing to leave, he gave her a message directly from Cutter and her uncles; the gist of it was to watch her back. That when Kreelcorp had gone after her, a fact Cutter discovered when a representative of the corporation tried to blackmail them regarding her freedom, (insinuating that they had taken her freedom and they could, if they wished, restore it) they had gone way too far over the line.

According to the message, her uncles and Cutter was going to show that bastard how they took care of their own and that going after his little girl was the last straw. They were not only going after Kreelcorp and its owner D.C.Kreel, but they weren't going to stop until every single person involved with hurting their family, and also everyone involved with putting his little girl in the joint, had paid dearly.

Cutter had made it very clear to the lawyer that absolutely no expense was to be spared in his vendetta against the business rivals, and Benton County. In his own final warning and in Cutter's own words;

"Take cover WC cause I'm cuttin' loose the dogs."

It was only two weeks later that the first and most successful attack against Cam came.

Lulled by the lack of news about her family's war with their enemies Cam wasn't paying close attention to her surroundings, and allowed herself to be bracketed in a crowd by two other women with shivs.

She was stabbed five times before she was able to break away from the crowd, most of which had no idea what was going on. Bleeding heavily Cam staggered away a few feet before she collapsed fortunately at the feet of the newly promoted Sergeant of the Guards, Paula Carson.

If the well-known and respected guard hadn't been there, Cam's assailants would have finished the job and Cam would have died right there in the exercise yard. Paula stared slack-jawed down at the beautiful woman lying at her feet in a quickly expanding pool of her own blood.

True to her training, Paula had quickly shook off her surprise, knelt down, and began doing what she could to stop the bleeding, as she called on the radio for immediate medical assistance, and extra guards to clear the yard.

That was the first meeting between the guard that was on the fast track to promotions and the prisoner that was destined to become a prison legend in her own time.

They had just barely been able to save Cam that time, but despite loosing her spleen and a kidney, the black haired beauty recovered quickly. Paula had visited the unusual prisoner every day, and found her to be a bright, intelligent woman, both well read and well educated. They had many interesting and lively conversations, and in time, they had developed a mutual respect for each other, becoming as close to friends as a guard and an inmate could get.

The prison officials had done everything in their power to find the women responsible for the attack, but as was expected, they had no luck. Everyone knew exactly who had stabbed Cam and why but without proof there was nothing anyone could do. When Cam was returned to general population in D Block, prisoners and guards alike, watched to see how the woman would retaliate for her injuries. When two weeks went by with nothing happening, the two women began getting cocky.

Everyone finally gave up figuring that the supposedly tough chick had lost her nerve because of the attack and her near death. Nobody blamed her, it could have happened to any of them, and they decided the whole incident was over, except Paula.

She had gotten to know Cam fairly well and she was sure something was going to happen. The woman was just too smart to exact her revenge when she knew everybody expected it, and there was a good chance she'd be caught.

She remembered a comment Cam had once made while she was still in the infirmary. Cam told her that in prison, you didn't have to be a stand up grrl, but you do have to stand up. Thinking of that Paula tried to warn her superiors that the incident was far from over, but they ignored her. Paula was right.

Late one night, when Paula was off duty, the quiet of the darkness was shattered by a blood-curdling scream of abject terror and agony, which came to a sudden gurgling stop. Almost immediately, all the lights came on and the guards came charging into the cell block. What they found caused the most hardened veteran among them shudder in fear and get a little queasy.

Lying on the floor of the community day area, were the two women that had stabbed Cam, or what was left of them at least. One was dead, she was the lucky one. The other was alive but unable to move, speak, or communicate in any manor. There wasn't a mark on them with the exception of a few small bruises on the neck of the woman still living.

When the coroner examined the dead woman his report said every major organ in the woman's body had been ruptured, apparently, one at a time, he also added that it was a long and horrendously painful way to die. He was a Vietnam veteran, and commented that the last time he'd seen a body in this condition, was when he examined the body of a Vietnamese official that was a suspected traitor. At the time, it was suspected that his death was an assassination.

The doctor's report on the woman left alive was just as bazaar and mysterious. The first and most obvious was the reason she was unable to speak it was that her vocal cords were destroyed not hurt, or injured, not even cut, they were destroyed beyond any possibility of recovery, or medical repair.

There were no apparent injuries to explain the unusual condition, only two small bruises on her larynx. She would never speak again. Her paralysis was caused by severe compression of the spinal cord, also of unknown cause.

All readings showed that the woman was aware and able to tell what was going on around her, but was unable to communicate, in any manor. There was nothing found to explain the cause of the injuries and also no way of finding who had caused them but they did know from readings that she was in constant intense pain.

The guards had responded instantly to the sound of the screams, but no assailant was found, another mystery was that the bodies hadn't fallen from the second tier where they lived. The bodies had been placed where they were found and carefully arranged. Recognizing the victims as the women responsible for the Brusard stabbing the guards hurried to Cam's cell on the third tier, but all they found was Cam sitting on her bunk in the lotus position eyes closed and unresponsive until the guards called her name.

They also checked and found that the cell door was locked tight and not tampered with in any manner.

The tall exotic beauty smiled slightly when she heard of the condition of the two women then expressed an obviously insincere concern for their misfortune. The mystery was never solved but after that, Cam's wish to be left alone was honored.

When Paula brought up the incident in a private conversation, all Cam would say was that she heard that the women had become cocky lately, and had made many enemies. As far as she could see, karma and justice had been served and she refused to discuss it further.



As Paula walked through the cell block, she recalled her contacts with the beautiful mysterious inmate, and all the time she'd spent trying to understand the strange way the raven haired beauty reacted to things. Something that would devastate the usual prisoner caused the woman only a moment's thought, but things that most prisoners wouldn't even notice would cause Cam to withdraw from everyone until she had considered her reaction thoroughly.

She could count on one hand the number of women the exotic and mysterious woman spent any time with, none of them had ever been intimate with her, and almost no woman that Cam had been intimate with was ever allowed close to her again. In fact, for a while Cam was never with a lover for more than twice then she would ignore them as if they no longer existed.

She also recalled when Brusard had first come to her attention she was already known as untouchable, not that she didn't get offers, a woman as beautiful as Cam could have anyone she wanted, man or woman, prisoner or guard.

She was untouchable because that was the way she wanted it. From what was said Cam was being faithful to someone on the outside, Paula remembered thinking how rare that kind of loyalty was.

Then after getting, some news from her attorney Cam had gone into her cell and orders from the warden specifically stated that she was to be left alone until she indicated that she was prepared to re-enter the population. She had stayed in her dark cell listening to those old blues CDs she loved for over a week, no food only water.

Then word came that she was requesting a clean uniform and a shower. After that, Cam was like the D-block's own answer to Casanova. When Paula had asked her, what happened all Cam would say is;

"Lovers are never what they seem."

Something bad had happened to her but only the warden knew and he wasn't talking. Cam never laughed after her self-imposed isolation.

She walked around with an amused smirk as if she knew the punch line to some cosmic joke and she wasn't sharing. No one was ever allowed to get close to the walls she had erected around herself.

Well... Paula thought smiling ...no one that is until Cheryl Killian.

Chapter 6

The big champagne colored SUV came to a smooth stop at the full service pumps. An over eager teenager came blasting out of the fuel shack, anxious to get a closer look at the big four-wheel vehicle, with the European luxury car name. He also wanted to see what kind of person went to Mercedes to buy a truck. He was also wondering what CTBS-BB on the vanity plates meant.

The youngster waited for whoever was driving the obviously new SUV to tell him what they wanted. He let his eyes wander appreciatively over the clean graceful lines of the well-made vehicle. Try as he might the kid was unable to see inside the SUV, the tinted windows were too dark. He took a step closer only to jump back a little when the driver's door opened startling him out of his daydream.

He was totally unprepared for what he saw, from the status name on the vehicle the gas jockey expected either some self-important, power-suit wearing executive or a snotty city yuppie, and he'd seen enough of both in his short six months employment at the truck stop at the junction of I-35 and M-340. He and his hormones were completely caught off guard when the driver stepped out of the Mercedes.

It was the most amazingly beautiful young woman he'd ever seen. She was short, just barely reaching five feet four, dressed in very short jean cut-offs and red tank top that showed off her very fit yet softly curved body that actually tended toward muscular. She gave the boy a bright friendly smile that would stay with him for days as she asked him to fill the SUV.

The golden haired woman with the sparkling emerald eyes stretched out her tired muscles trying to relieve their cramping from driving since early that morning.

As she watched the hormonal teen filling the gas tank the deceptively young looking woman let her mind wander over the amazing twists and turns of her life till now that brought her to be here going to the one place she swore she'd never return to no matter what.

If what she'd learned over the last two weeks was true, someone very special would be there today. And if she stayed on schedule and got there on time, a certain gorgeous blue eyed brunette had some very hard questions to answer, and if she was lucky she would be able to ask a very important question of a certain Ms. Camilla Theresa Brusard.



Her name was Cheryl Anne Killian, a third year lawyer working for a highly prestigious law firm, and recently received an unprecedented early promotion to partner and assistant legal representative of one of the largest, most lucrative clients her firm handled.

She was barely five foot four inches tall golden-blonde hair with red highlights, bright emerald green eyes, and some said a pixie-ish face. You know the type big eyes, perky up turned nose, full sensuous lips that were always on the verge of smiling, and if you were lucky to be on the receiving end of one of her megawatt smiles, you'd swear you'd just been blessed by the gods. However, may the gods help the ones that faced her in the Court room, because she was definitely no pixie, she was more like vicious cold blooded harridan, that mercilessly ground her opponents into the ground.

She was wearing a tight red tank top tucked into a pair of very tight, blue-jean cut offs and sandals with long black laces that wound a criss-cross pattern up her well sculpted legs to her knees. Her outfit was specially chosen for this occasion. It was her fervent hope that the way it showed off her well muscled yet softly curved body, well enough that a certain lady would find her irresistible.

The top molded to her like a second skin accentuating her full firm breasts, her perpetually hard nipples threatened to tear through the already stretched thin cotton material. The top was molded to her flat hard abdomen curving enticingly into the top of her cutoff that were skintight showing off her perfectly shaped rear. The cut-offs were so short that part of her beautifully shaped cheeks peaked out the back.

All in all, it was an outfit meant to create thousands of desirable and creative carnal ideas in anyone that saw her.

Cheryl was living the good life, as a partner she was guaranteed at least a mid to high six-figure salary with bonuses depending on her billings. Not only that, she had a very hefty nest egg in stocks CDs and various investments plus money in the bank, thanks to a litigation that had been handled by the very law firm she was with now.

Cheryl had a candy apple red Porsche Boxster and the Mercedes SUV she was driving today, a nice five bedroom four bathroom house in an older but nicer part of the city. As well as a nice little two bedroom cabin in Kirbyville Mo. by the Ozark lakes and the Mark Twain National Forest on a secluded lot far from the road and civilization.

Everyone that knew Cheryl seemed to like her helped, no doubt, by her genuinely friendly attitude. Even though she had just been jumped from associate to partner in less than three years there wasn't even one of her former co-workers that had anything bad to say about her.

Yeah, Cheryl's life was good; money, job, houses, cars, friends, but it hadn't always been so nice for Cheryl. In fact only three years ago she was at the lowest point of her life, with no way out, and just when the little blonde was about to give up on life and her dreams she was rescued from the most unlikely quarter.

Cheryl had found a bright shinning ray of hope at the bottom of the darkest pit of despair and until just lately she had only been able to suspect who her benefactor was. And now Cheryl was on her way to find a certain stoic, tall, dark, foul tempered and drop dead gorgeous lady that had better be ready with some answers, but in order to see her Cheryl was headed to the one place on Earth she'd sworn she would never go back to again. It was the site of the worst moment of her life; it was the place where she'd learned the hardest lessons of her life.

It was where Cheryl found that there were truly evil people in the world. It was also where she had seen the purest, most caring, loving most unselfish heart she'd ever known, where she was taught the difference between lust and true love.

It was the Chillicothe Correctional Center, or CCC, a hellhole and the place that held the other half of her soul



If there was anyone who had reason to be bitter about life, it was Cheryl Killian. In fact, she had more reasons to be the hardest coldest, angriest, person you'd ever imagine.

Cheryl Anne Killian was born in an under funded, understaffed county hospital in the boot-heel of Missouri, and as with most of her life she came into this world the hard way. Five weeks premature and breech, both mother and daughter nearly losing their lives in the process.

Unable to cope with the special needs of the critically ill mother and infant, the hospital transferred them to a larger and better-equipped more up to date facility.

After several weeks, the two were allowed to go home to the tiny two-bedroom trailer just outside of Cape Gerardo, Missouri, but within a few months baby Cheryl was back in the hospital. She was diagnosed with a malformed heart valve due to her premature birth.

Two years and several operations later the constantly ill child was out of the hospital and well on her way to becoming a regular healthy little girl.

Her parents were thrilled that their little girl was healthy at last and both were more than happy to work two jobs to pay off the mountains of medical bills incurred to get her that way. Life settled down for the Killian family, they were poor hard working people whose day-to-day lives had little, if any, impact on the world.

Jason Killian and his wife Katie had lived on a small piece of land left to him by his family, and though the trailer was old and they were dirt poor but proud the place was always neat and picked up. Their clothes were almost all second hand but always clean and patched, Jason worked at a small custom sawmill and his wife worked at the local garment factory as well as a waitress part time at a truck stop close to them. When Katie found out she was pregnant, Jason had gladly taken a second job at an assembly plant and when Katie began having trouble with her pregnancy he agreed completely with her decision to leave both her jobs and just take in some piece work from the clothing factory, so she could stay home and rest when she needed to.

When the baby came early and the medical bills began piling up, the Killians still didn't complain. Jason took extra work as a handy man, and his beloved Katie went back to waitressing as soon as her doctors allowed her.

By the time their beautiful little girl was healthy, the property and the trailer were mortgaged to the hilt and their medical insurance was max-ed out, and they still had a mountain of bills, but every time they saw their happy, outgoing, sweet loving little girl, the Killians felt like the richest two people in the world.

Little Cheryl inherited her parents' outlook on life and had soon put all the bad memories of doctors, hospitals, and illness behind her and attacked the world as only the innocence of a child would allow. Her sharp mind and curious nature led the gregarious child from one adventure to another. Each one bringing her a joy and wonder that brought great pride and fulfillment to the lives of her loving parents.

When she started school Cheryl was the kind of student teachers dream about; smart, friendly, popular, respectful, eager to learn and always happy to help. As things go, life was as close to perfect for the unassuming little family as it could get, but the gods never allow human perfection to last.

One sunny Sunday afternoon the happy little family was on their way home from a day in the country when the combination of an old car, old shocks, used tires, and unpaved roads, sent another twist into an innocent child's life.

It was as simple as a sharp rock, a blown tire, a broken tie rod and the old 65 Chevy was on its side in a ditch and on fire.

Nine-year-old Cheryl was thrown from the car and flew through the air only to slam into an old oak tree shattering her pelvis and breaking both legs in several places. Unfortunately, the girl didn't hit her head or pass out right away and unable to move, and in excruciating pain, the child was forced to lean against the tree and listen to the screams of her parents as they burned to death in the old car, a sound that would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life.

Long after the screaming stopped pain, shock, and exposure finally won out and the comforting black velvet curtain of unconsciousness enveloped the tortured little girl.

Cheryl woke up two weeks later, the first memory she had after hearing the agonized death screams of her family was the waves of unbearable agony sweeping over her body. She tried to move into a less painful position where she fell back and cried out as white-hot knives of excruciating pain lanced through her legs, and her shattered pelvis. In response to the child's screams of pain, several nurses and doctors came rushing into her ICU room. As the others tried to sooth and calm the frightened and tormented child, one of the nurses filled a syringe from a vial of Demerol and morphine and injected the liquid into her IV line.

Within seconds, very long seconds, and the medication was racing through her little body and within minutes the scared and hurting nine-year-old was in a deep sleep.

All the nurses got together and talked over the girl's condition and the lack of family and from then on one of the off duty nurses was in the room with her at all times, so that Cheryl never had to wake up alone again.

Cheryl woke again the next morning and saw the nurse sitting in the chair next to the bed dozing, she realized that the nightmare she had convinced herself she had, was real. The little girl began weeping and sobbing uncontrollably; she would fall asleep with tears streaming down her cheeks and would wake up sobbing for days as the nurses tried their best to console her.

Cheryl grieved horribly for several days, then without warning, the tears stopped, and quietly she withdrew from everyone.

She would read, answer questions, eat when told to, and later cooperated with her physical therapist, but that was all. It was as if the friendly, big-hearted girl had died in the accident along with her parents leaving a quiet hollow shell behind.

After several long months of intense therapy, Cheryl was allowed to leave the hospital and was placed with a foster family. The older couple tried everything they knew to help the girl come out of her shell, but it was to no avail. The state finally broke down and sent the almost eleven year old to a psychiatrist where after four years of therapy the only break through that Cheryl had was when she and the doctor discovered she was gay.

That revelation was more than the older couple could handle and social services placed Cheryl in the home of a lesbian couple that had been together for over twenty years. It was here that Cheryl found a new home. Her new foster mothers spent many hours with the young teen and helped her over come some of the biggest problems she'd faced.

One of the most important things the women did for Cheryl was using contacts within the system that the two women had cultivated, they were able to locate a warehouse were one of the Killians creditors had stored some of the families personal belongings when they had repossessed the family's old trailer.

The couple obtained permission to take Cheryl to the warehouse, and spent four days searching through the contents of the building until they located several small boxes of the family's meager possessions.

They loaded the boxes into their truck and took them home for Cheryl to go through whenever she felt she was able to face the memories contained in those cardboard time capsules.

It took her a long time to wade through the repressed emotions each family treasure held for the girl. Eventually the old Cheryl began to return. It was in stages, sometimes excruciatingly small stages but with the love and support of her foster mothers, Cheryl worked her way through her overwhelming grief and her own true nature that was begging to reappear. The once quiet and withdrawn girl became the person she was before the accident.

After that the rest of Cheryl's high school years went by without incident, she was even accepted by many of her classmates as a gay student and when the springtime of her senior year came Cheryl was able to take a girl to take to the prom as her date.

Graduating at the top of her class Cheryl received scholarship offers from several diverse colleges and universities, but she chose the pre-law program at UMKC, and entered the adventures of her college years with a bright outlook. She did plenty of extra curricular activities and did volunteer work at a local homeless shelter.

All in all the generous, compassionate young woman was a regular poster for the foster care system, their shining example of all the good that is in the system, but not everything in the petite golden haired girls life was so bright and wonderful.

No matter how fantastic her life seemed to those on the outside or how many people she helped or all the programs and community service groups she volunteered for it seemed that there was something missing, even those that were close to her noticed that it seemed that Cheryl was always searching for something.

There was a hole in her life no matter how much or how hard Cheryl tried it would not be filled. It didn't appear that the young woman could find love. She tried relationship after relationship but she wasn't getting any closer. It would always start out the same she'd meet some woman and no matter how hard they would work at it or how much they professed their undying affection to the young woman, Cheryl just wasn't able to find the one true love she was searching for.

Sure she cared for everyone she went into a relationship with and she was always faithful but eventually one or the other would break it off, usually it was Cheryl that ended up walking out on the other.

She was always nice even when they weren't but as she told her last college girlfriend, Cheryl refused to struggle and subject herself or anyone else to a loveless relationship simply because she was afraid to be alone.

It was as if her life was a giant jigsaw puzzle that was missing one key central piece. And no matter how she tried to work around it the picture lacked detail and definition, the was no flavor. However, in her own words she, refused to put herself through the hell of someone's cold feet on her back and their hair in the sink if she couldn't have that deep all-consuming passion for her partner, just as her parents had for each other.

Eventually Cheryl simply decided that she was just one of those people destined to go through this lifetime without ever discovering her one true perfect love, her match, her soulmate. Sad? Yes. Discouraging? Certainly. But as far as Cheryl could see, it was inevitable.


End Part 2

Continued in Part 3