Where the Road Leads by Alwayzdreamin

CHAPTER 3

A couple of hours later, after rescuing Renee's car and following jack as he towed it to his place, Alex was headed back to the cabin, with Renee's bags strapped to her snowmobile.

Ales opened the door, took her boots off and walked to the living room where she found Renee sleeping, and Bo looking at her. Alex's heart went to her throat when she remembered the car. "How can I feel like this when I don't even know her?" She asked herself, as she watched the other woman sleep, a tear sliding down from her eye. "Get a hold of yourself." She told herself as she quietly sat Renee's bags down. She quietly walked out of the room heading to the kitchen for some coffee, and to try to get her emotions under control. She had never met anyone who affected her like Renee and it scared her. The entire time Ales was away, she found herself thinking about Renee, missing her. Yeah okay she had thought about others before but that was always sexual. Like when she would bed them again or just how long it would take to get someone to bed, or better yet, trying to decide if it was time to move on. With Renee it was just wondering how she was what she was doing or thinking, or missing her smile or her laugh. Yes she thought about taking her to bed, but it wasn't the foremost thought in her head. Renee brought out feelings of wanting to protect her of wanting to take care of her, and thoughts of sharing a home, a life…more importantly, her life. To her that was scary as hell. Alex Kincaid didn't ever think about things like that, at least not since she was a teenager. 'How can I feel this, I just met her last night.' She thought. Giving up she grabbed her coffee and headed back to the living room. As she walked in she noticed the blinking light of the answering machine. Deciding not to wake Renee, by listening to it, she went to her room and stripped, walked into the master bath and turned on the shower. Maybe a nice hot shower would help wash away the tension she was feeling.

Slowly the scent of coffee woke Renee, and she was surprised that she had slept. 'Well okay I smell coffee so that means Alex is back. I wonder where she is…where is Bo, for that matter.' She thought. Not that she had to wonder for long because right about then Bo came trotting in followed by Alex, who was wrapped in a robe.

"You're awake." Alex said as she continued walking.

"I just woke up actually." Renee answered, the smile she had fading as she noticed Alex's tone was less than friendly. 'Wow, what happened.' She wondered. 'Everything was fine when she went out'

"Coffee is still hot if you'd like…" Alex remarked as she stopped at the doorway to the kitchen.

"Sounds good, but I'll get it." Renee answered.

"Don't. I'll get it; you need to stay off your ankle." Alex snapped. 'Shit, why did you do that?' she asked herself.

"Okay," Renee started her easy going temper slipping. "What's your problem? I didn't mean to fall asleep, or even end up on your sofa, shit happens you know. As soon as I can I'll be out of your way. Until then I'll get my own damned coffee, got it."

At that Alex lost it. "You little fool, do you even realize how damned luck you are to even be alive? No I suppose not. Does anyone know where you are, where you were going? Is anyone expecting you?"

"What are you rambling about? Why wouldn't I be alive? And not that its any of your business but no, no one is expecting me, and yes Robin knows where I am." Renee answered.

"Did she yesterday, were you suppose to check in when you got to where ever it is you were going?" Alex continued.

At that Renee turned red. "No, she didn't know I was going out of town. But…" she never got to finish her sentence because Alex was off again.

"So let me get this straight," she started, "you took off without anyone knowing, you…drive into a snowstorm, get lost, almost kill yourself not once but twice, and no one would have known. Is that right?"

"What do you …" Renee start to say.

"You know…I need to get dressed. Your bags are right there, if you'd like to shower, you welcomed to either bath." Alex stated as she walked out of the room fuming.

"What was that all about?" Renee asked herself and Bo, who had chosen to stay with her.

"Back in the master bedroom, Alex was busy throwing clothing on her bed and mumbling to herself. All it took was for her to see the smile on Renee's face and the sight of her car and where it sat flashed in her mind and the scare that Alex had felt was back full force. "Jesus Alex, relax." She told herself, "she is fine and you did go overboard. Shit."

As she walked back out to the living room she started to speak. "Ah, Renee…I need to apologize…" she said as she looked at Renee and say that she had indeed gotten her own coffee. That sight made her feel even worse.

"Gee, you think."

"I deserved that. I don't know what's going on with me…I was your car and I sort of lost it. Then I was you smiling like you hadn't a care in the world, the car flashed in my mind again and I lost it all over again."

Renee was lost, "What do you mean you saw my car? It's not all mangled so what's the big deal?"

"Renee, were inches from going off a fifty foot drop into the river below."

"No way, I looked. There was no drop off…there couldn't have been. Renee said in disbelief.

"Yes, sweetheart there is. Like I said, I don't know what's happening to me. I just met you and yet the thought of what could have happened…scared the hell out of me. The thought of never having gotten the chance to meet you, get to know you…hurts." Alex said, her voice cracking a bit.

Renee was at a loss as to what to say or think. How was she supposed to take what she had just heard? It wasn't like she could deny there was something going on between the two. Especially since the thought of never having a chance to get to know this tall, dark woman, scared and nearly took her breath away. So she said the only thing that she could think of…"I'm sorry, I need to shower no if you don't mind." With that she grabbed the one bag she knew held her clothes, and limped to the bath in the master bedroom.

Alex stood there watching her go, stunned. 'Well alright! Nothing like opening your heart and…' she thought. "Oh screw it." She said out loud, letting her anger the best of her. She shook her head and walked to the phone to listen to the recorded message. Her mood was getting worse by the second.

The phone call was quick and to the point, and something Alex could deal with. "Ms. Kincaid, this mike. I'm sorry to intrude on you but I have a problem. Ms. Gordon has been here twice now insisting that you've given her permission to remove a couple of your more expensive paintings. So far I've kept her taking them, but now she is insisting that you gave them to her as a sort of settlement now that you two have separated. Please let me know if I should let her leave with them or not. I'd hate to let her take them and then find out she was less than honest about it. Thank you."

"This I can handle…simple, straight forward…no confusion." She mumbled as she dialed the number to the front desk of her apartment building.

"Terrace Apartments, this is Mike how may I help you." The deep voice on the other end answered.

"Mike, its Alex Kincaid."

"Ms. Kincaid, once again I apologize for having to bother you."

"It's no trouble mike. Here's what I need you to do. When you see Ms. Gordon again let her know that she will need to wait there until Officer Donnelly arrives. He will escort her into the apartment and she can leave with the two paintings and nothing more. She is to leave the key, and only she and Officer Donnelly are to enter the apartment, anyone who arrives with her is to remain in the lobby."

"Yes Ms. Kincaid, I'll take care of it." Mike replied.

"Thank you so very much Mike." Alex said, she kindly asked about his family and then said good bye. She then dialed another number; as soon as it was answered she smiled.

"Hello…"

"Hello Rick. How are you?"

"Well I'll be damned, if it isn't Alex Kincaid. I'm good how about you?" Rick answered with a big smile as he thought about the woman on the other end of the line.

"I'm good. How is Pops?" She asked.

"He's good, old and bossy, you know…never changes." He laughed as he answered.

"Good I'm glad to hear that, means he is keeping you on your toes. How about Sammy, how is she doing?" Alex asked, thinking about the one woman from her past that had mattered at all.

"She is good too. She finally settled down with a lawyer. Can you imagine that?" Mike answered as he smiled thinking of his sister. "This gal has a kid that simply adores Sammy, and well you know Sammy…she adores him right back. She's happy so Pops is happy and that makes me happy you know."

"I'm glad she's happy. She deserves to be." Alex said quietly as she continued to think of Samantha Donnelly.

"This gal…Alex, she ain't you. She ain't you, that's all I got to say."

"Rick, timing is everything, and you of all people knows I wasn't ready. All I would have done was made her and everyone else miserable." Alex said quietly.

"I know…but still."

"Look Rick, the reason I called is I need a favor…" she started, want to end the conversation before it went any farther in the direction it was going.

"You know anything you need, I'm there for you." Mike said, taking the hint and letting the topic drop. Alex went on to explain her problem and, what she hoped Rick could help her with.

"You got it; I'll wait for the call, and take care of it. Anything else you need love?"

"No, that's all. Rick thanks, I owe you."

"Let's get together of a drink, maybe dinner…I know pops would love to see you. We'll call it good." Rick answered.

"You got it." Alex replied and the two said their goodbyes.

CHAPTER 4

In the shower, Renee was still trying to decide how to deal with everything Alex said. 'What does she expect me to say? Okay yes, it was stupid to just run off without letting anyone know for sure where I was going. But damn it, I didn't purposefully set out to kill myself.' She thought. "Jesus, talk about being dramatic." She muttered. 'She was just blowing things way out of proportion. That's all there is to it.' Renee decided. Having decided that, she let the hot water wash away the remaining tension she felt.

Once she finished her shower, she let herself once again think about Alex. Nothing having to do with earlier, but thoughts about her smile, and her laugh, her long powerful legs…suddenly the thought of Alex holding her took a hold and refused to let go. 'Get a grip Renee. It's not going to happen.' She told herself. But she was unable to shake the thought or the need to just see the raven haired beauty.

Carefully she made her way to the living room, hoping to see Alex. However Alex wasn't to be found in either the living room or the kitchen. She did find a short note saying that she and Bo had gone out for a run and would be back soon. 'Well guess that means she is still upset.' Renee thought feeling, disappointed. With nothing else to do she went back to the living room and the book she had started that morning.

Outside, Alex had Bo running after his chunk of rope, and with the snow it was a good workout for him, so she didn't feel too bad at keeping the outing short. She didn't want to leave Renee alone to long, and truth be told she was missing the little blonde. So with Bo exercised and her perspective back, she headed back to the cabin. Bo barked, announcing their return before they even walked in, so Renee was watching for them. As Alex walked in she looked up and felt her heart skip a beat and a smile form on her face. As soon as Alex saw Renee and the smile she broke into a smile of her own.

"Hi…" they both said in unison.

"I think I owe you an apology for earlier. I shouldn't have lost my cool like I did." Alex started.

Renee was taken by surprise with the apology. 'Whoa, where did that come from?' She wondered. "It's not a big deal." She replied.

"Actually, I thin I was a little…I went overboard, and went off on you. Really I have no right. I just got scared at the thought of what might have happened and thinking about that made me…I don't know…" Alex told her, "I've just never felt like this before." She finished embarrassed.

Renee stood, and slowly made her way to Alex, once there she gently placed her hand on Alex's arm and said, "It's okay, really. Nothing happened to me, and well…we both are a little thrown I think." 'What am I doing?' She thought to herself 'all I want to do right now is to hold her and kiss her.' Her hand reached up and gently touched Alex's face. Realizing what she was doing, she quickly dropped her hand and moved away.

"Um, anyway did you and Bo have a good run?" She asked. Alex, who couldn't stop the smile, answered "Yes we did. Usually it's longer but with the snow, Bo got in a good workout and honestly I didn't want to stand around and freeze." She finished with a laugh.

"Does it usually snow like this?" Renee asked.

"Not this early, but yes. Actually this is nothing, it will get worse." Alex answered.

"Would you like some more coffee?"

"That sounds great!" Renee answered. "Oh did you get your message earlier?"

"Yes, I did. Seems that Diane has decided she likes art now. Never cared about it before or even had an interest in it but now…she has been trying to walk out with a couple of my more expensive works."

"Hm and how did you find her? I mean, not to be judgmental but, she sounds like a real piece of work."

Alex thought of how to answer that question as she poured the coffee and got a snack.

"Diane happened to be at a benefit I was working. She was the 'guest' of a client. Anyway she started talking to me, and I was stupid enough to fall for every ego stroking lie she told me."

"Some of it had to be true. I mean…" Renee stopped just short of telling Alex just how amazing she thought she was. "Um…well I mean you do have some great qualities, and I'm sure she saw them."

"I don't know, what I do know that I fell for the short tight skirt, heels…I didn't even bother to look past how good she looked, and how long it would take to get her into my bed. By the time I finally opened my eyes she had moved in and was pretty much getting her hands on all she wanted. My friends saw her for what she was, but me…oh no. I didn't want to believe them or even my own eyes." With a cold laugh she finished, "It took me walking into my own home, and finding her with some woman in my bed laughing about what an easy prey I was, to finally open my eyes."

Renee sat and listened, not believing any could be so cruel, so…she couldn't even thing of a word to describe a person like Diane. But then again there were all kinds of people in the world. "Did you love her?" Renee asked, only to be embarrassed that she had even asked the question. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. It's none of my business."

Alex watched Renee as she thought of how to answer her question. "I liked her, cared about her to some extent, but love…no. I don't think I could have. God that makes me sound shallow doesn't it." She said.

At hearing Alex's words, Renee felt instantly happy. Alex smiled as she watched Renee's reaction.

"No, it doesn't make you sound shallow." Renee answered.

"No matter. So tell me about you, I've told you my story tell me yours."

"Mine isn't interesting." Renee said as she sat back.

"Maybe so, but I told you mine. And I'm asking about yours. Besides, I don't see how anything involving you wouldn't be interesting." Alex said as she watched Renee slightly turn red at the small compliment.

Renee thought about things, "Where do I start." She said.

"How about with why you ran away rather than meet this 'perfect woman' your friends found for you."

"They seem to think that everyone will be as happy as they are and in love as deeply as they are and will last forever." Renee answered.

"You don't believe in happy ever after?" Alex asked.

"Not anymore, no."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit on a sore subject." Alex said quietly as she watched her companion.

"Oh I'm fine. It's just that I think happy endings are for everyone but me. I've accepted that, just seems like my friends haven't."

"Why do you say that?"

"Simple, it's the way it is. I gave my heart to someone and I got hurt. It's an experience I don't want to repeat." Renee answered as she thought about that period in her life.

"Maybe you just gave your heart to the wrong person, they weren't deserving and didn't know what a gift they had." Alex said quietly as she watched the expressions on Renee's face as she replayed scenes of her past in her mind.

"She knew. It just didn't matter to her. Now I just feel I wasted a lot of time and emotion and I don't want to go through that again." So everyone else can have their happy endings, I just don't believe in them."

"How long were you together?"

"Five years. We met freshman year in college." Renee answered, a small smile forming as she continued to remember. "She roomed next door to me and was in my English Lit class. One week I don't know her from Eve, and the next she is my best friend. One night we're at a party, to much to drink and both way to tired of fighting this overwhelming attraction. She confessed she was in love with me, and well there was no way I could even start to deny anything I felt. Next thing I know we're head over heels in love. At least I was."

"Well realistically, if she wasn't I don't see how you managed five years together." Alex said.

"Well some people are great at playing parts." Renee replied, "I don't know maybe I'm being to hard on her. Is that the point you're trying to make? I know she loved me, just not like I loved her, and in the end…I felt I gave everything I had and it still wasn't enough. I just don't think I have it in me to go through that again. Seems we were fine until we got out of college and started being 'adults'. We got a home together, and everything was good for that first year. Then she started pulling away, she got distant. I thought for a while she was seeing someone else. So I finally worked up the nerve to ask."

"What did she say?" Alex asked, caught in Renee's story.

"Imagine my surprise when she said no. Of course I didn't believe her, so we fought. You know until that night I never saw her lose her temper like that." Alex felt her muscles tense, and her stomach rolled as she started imagining this woman hitting Renee. Renee continued, "Donna just lost it, I was saying I didn't believe her, that she was lying to me about seeing someone and she grabbed a vase we had sitting on an end table and threw it at the wall."

Alex sat still, all her muscles tense. She was still waiting for Renee to say that this Donna person had hit her. She didn't know how she would handle that. Renee looked over at Alex. Sensing what the dark woman was thinking she immediately got up and walked over to her and said, "Alex, she never hit me. Please believe that. Once the vase shattered against the wall, she broke down crying. She said she honestly wished there had been another woman, because then at least there would be a reason for her wanting to leave."

"So there wasn't another woman at all…ever?" Alex asked confused.

"No. After all that we sat and talked all night, and I believed her. I really didn't have reason to thin she was being unfaithful, it was just the way she was behaving…no other reason. I mean, she wasn't out at all hours of the night, she was never away or with no way for me to get in touch with her if I needed. I called and she always answered so no reason to think she was sneaking around. Then we broke up and I'd run into her somewhere and well…she seemed to be happy with whoever the new woman on her arm was at the moment. And trust me there were a lot of women." Renee said.

Alex was at a complete loss as to what to think. "So she never gave you a reason for wanting out?" She asked.

"No. All she said was that she wasn't happy and that she felt like she was suffocating. Why she would feel that I have no idea, but well that was the reason she gave me. It wasn't like I expected her to report her every move to me, or call and check in whenever she was out. I didn't even expect her to spend every spare minute she had with me. Hell, she was always able to go out with her friends and do whatever. I wasn't the possessive girlfriend you hear about." Alex couldn't even begin to imagine what Donna was thinking…well subconsciously she did, but she didn't want to examine that right now. "So she was your first and last serious relationship then." She said.

"OH yeah, after that I couldn't imagine ever wanting to go through that pain again." Renee answered.

"You know, not all women are like that." Alex remarked. 'Some of us realize our mistakes.'

"Right, and I'm sure somewhere in your past you've left a few broke hearts." Renee said trying to shift her thoughts. She would like to say she was over the hurt of that time but well, like everyone there were times when remembering did hurt.

Alex thought of Samantha, "I suppose so."

Renee saw the cloud flicker across Alex's face and said, "Oh that was definitely not an 'I suppose…' Alex. That was a 'Yes I have broken someone's heart' look."

"Well okay yes, I guess I did, and you know I do regret it but I have to live with what I did and know that at the time, it was the best thing to do for her. Other wise in the end she would have been hurt a lot more than she was."

"Now that's interesting. Care to elaborate more?" Renee said. Ales watched, as the other woman made herself comfortable, and with a smile answered, "No, I don't think so. We have to have something to talk about later too you know. I see you found a book to read. Which one is it?" Alex asked in an attempt to change the subject. Renee thought about if for a few seconds and decided to let it slide. "It's one of LAUREN MADDISON'S, DEATH BY PROPHECY. I love her books and haven't gotten a chance to read this one."

"I agree she is good. You'll have to tell me how it is; I haven't gotten to it yet. I think the last book I read was DECEPTIONS. Which other authors do you like reading." Alex asked.

"Well looking thru your selection in the bookcase, it looks like we share similar tastes. I love CORNWELL, and SANFORD plus there is always RADCLYFFE and of course B.L. MILLER." The next couple of hours were spent talking about favorite authors and music, and before long they realized they had a lot in common, and that evening was fast approaching. As the sun started to set Alex lit some candles around the room and soon, soothing warmth enveloped them, making the two feel closer and a lot cozier.

As they sat and continued to sip on their drinks, their thoughts moved in a direction that both found tantalizing and in need of more exploration, as well as scary as hell.

Alex, listening to Renee talk about her favorite book, started imagining her in her arms like she had been in that mornings dream. 'Now why the hell did you do that? As if you aren't having a hard enough time not thinking about her in your arms, you go and put on soft music and light candles. Brilliant!' she thought to herself, 'God you're an idiot.'

'Okay Renee, don't go there…but damn what a thought, you could just go over there to her and wrap your arms around her. If she pushes you away blame the candles and whiskey in the coffee.' Renee thought.

Poor Alex, her little voice and thoughts were getting the best of her. "How about some dinner, I'm sure your getting hungry." She asked, as she stood up and all but jumped three steps away from Renee, a move that did not go unnoticed by the blonde. 'Now that was interesting.' She thought. "Dinner sounds like an excellent idea."

"I was thinking, lemon pepper chicken cooked in butter, steamed broccoli and some baby red potatoes roasted in garlic. How does that sound to you?"

"Oh my God that sounds fantastic. Let's go I'm starved now." Renee laughed as she stood up to go to the kitchen.

"You don't have to…" was all Alex was able to get out before Renee cut her off with, "and don't go saying I don't have to help. I know that, I'm getting tired of being waited on, and besides I want to."

"You're tired of being waited on. You've only been waited on for what 24 hours if that?"

"I know, but I'm not use to it and well I can walk better so I can help."

"Alright then, lead the way." Alex said as she stepped out of the way so Renee could go ahead of her. 'Nice move letting her in front… what, I need to make sure I'm close in case she falls, that way I can catch her. Uh huh and being behind her as she walks is just such a hardship right? OH SHUT UP.' Alex said to her self as she followed Renee into the kitchen. Just as they reached the kitchen the phone rang.

"Hello." Alex answered.

"Hey Al, its Rick, how's it going?" The voice on the other end of the line said.

"Hi Rick, It's not too bad how about with you?"

"Not bad. I just wanted to let you know that I saw Diane today. One question…what were you thinking?"

"Not you too…" Alex laughed, "Honestly Rick, that's just it I wasn't thinking at least not with my brain."

"Wow, what a piece of work. Al, I'd like to say's been taken care of…I mean I have the key in my hand so she won't be back to the apartment. But I don't think she is done, yet, there is just something in her eyes." Rick said with a trace of concern in his voice.

"She's done." Alex answered.

"I'm not so sure, look be careful okay Al?"

"I will, you know me, always careful."

"Really then why you call me today, why this trouble now?"

"A lapse of judgment is all I can figure."

"Alright well, listen you need anything just holler okay."

"You bet. Thanks for everything Rick. I'll give you a call when I get back in town and we'll have that drink okay." Alex said before she hung up.

While Alex was on the phone, Renee made herself at home in the kitchen and had started dinner. Alex leaned against the counter and just watched as Renee moved around like a professional chef. 'Gotta, love a woman that knows her way around a kitchen.' She thought to herself.

"Is anything wrong?" Renee asked, bringing Alex out of her thoughts.

"Hm, my friend Rick seems to think so. Diane finally took all her belongs and left my apartment, not without a little help mind you, and she left the key with Rick, again not without a little help. He thinks she is going to be a problem."

"Okay and what do you think?" Renee asked as she finished putting the potatoes on the baking sheet to put into the oven.

Alex moved to the refrigerator and pulled a bottle of wine out before she answered, "Diane is done. She knows she is at the end of the line, so what more can she do. No…I don't see her being a problem."

"Well for your sake I hope your right." Renee said as she went to sit down with the broccoli. "Relax Alex, dinner is under control, just need to finish with the broccoli and get it on." With a smile Alex joined Renee at the table. "I see that. So what are you a chef of something? You didn't take long at all to get it going…or was I on the phone that long."

Renee laughed, "No, I just love to cook, therefore I love a well stocked kitchen…and this kitchen is…wow! I should be asking you if you're the chef."

"No, like you I enjoy cooking." This time it was Alex laughing.

"Well this kitchen is fantastic. I love the way it is designed. Did you do that…design it I mean?"

"No, I can't take credit for that one. When I designed this place, the kitchen was supposed to be one person's oasis so to speak. I have my office, which I designed; she had the kitchen, and the rest we both had a hand in." Alex answered, as she once again thought of Samantha. 'What the hell, why is she popping into my head so much all of a sudden.' Standing up she asked, "So do you want to eat dinner in her or in the den with movies to watch?"

The look that passed on Alex's face was not lost on Renee and it made her heart ache for Alex and brought out a hint of jealousy. "A movie would be nice." She answered.

"Okay will, I'll go get things set up. Would you like wine or something else to drink?"

"Wine is good. I'll check on things and be right with you." Renee said as she stood and walked to the stove.

"Any special movie you would like to see? I'll see if I have it."

"No, I'm up for anything."

"Hm, so what will it be; drama, romance, comedy, mystery, or maybe a classic like KEY LARGO or CASABLANCA." Alex commented, tossing out ideas.

"Either of those is good, I don't think I've ever seen either."

"NEVER seen KEY LARGO or CASABLANCA? My god where have you been, that you could you miss classics like these?" Alex asked.

"Just different tastes in this case I guess." Renee said with a smile. "We can't have everything in common you know. Where would the spice and variety come in?"

"Hm, guess you have a point." Alex replied, as she walked out of the kitchen, shaking her head still confused as to how anyone could not have seen either movie. Renee just laughed. Once in the den she selected the movie and placed it in the DVD player, looked around and decided to light some candles. 'After all, you can't watch a movie with the lights on, and well we still need some light while we eat.' She reasoned with herself. With that taken care of she went back to the kitchen to help Renee with the rest. Soon, with plates in hand the two were seated and the movie was going. Towards the middle of the show Alex looked over to see Renee totally lost in the movie and story. With a smile Alex turned her attention back to the movie as well. At the end of the movie Alex looked over to ask Renee what she thought of it, and saw that she was trying hard to hold it together, and was losing the battle as tears slid down her cheek. Sliding closer to her, Alex put her arm around Renee and pulled her close.

"Hey, no don't cry."

"I'm sorry; it's just that it's so sad. Why didn't you warn me? I mean you can clearly see that they still love each other and she is just 'being the good and dutiful wife'. They should have ended up together. You know, ride into the sunset, happy ending and all that."

"That's life though, not everyone that's in love ends up together with a happy ending. You of all people know that…I'm sorry. I guess I should have picked a different movie. I thought you would like it, I mean I think that's what makes it a great movie. Even though they love each other and the magic is still there, they both realize they have to let go."

Renee leaned into Alex; just letting the strong arms hold her, as she listed to Alex talk, give her take on the movie. Alex's arms tightened around Renee instinctively, and the feeling for protectiveness from earlier over took her heart. Gently she kissed the top of Renee's head. Renee slowly moved away just enough to look into Alex's eyes, and was all Alex needed and she moved in to slowly kiss Renee's soft lips. The kiss was slow and tender, and took Alex's breath away, made her heart swell and sent a lightening bolt through her. Renee's reaction was just as strong and in all honesty, scared the hell out of her. Although she wanted that kiss to last forever, Renee pulled away. She looked at Alex, her fear showing in her eyes. Alex took a deep breath, cleared her throat and spoke… "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." She said her voice husky and shaky. She stood up and trembling she reached for the empty plates and said, "I'll be right back, would you like another drink?"

Renee, knowing that the both needed to regroup and seeing that was exactly what Alex was trying to do, said another glass of wine would be great. Once Alex was gone Renee was able to relax some. 'What the hell is going on?' she thought to herself. Though she knew, she felt everything in that one kiss. 'Christ, this one can destroy me, and I know there is now way in hell I can just walk away.' She thought.

Alex in the mean time was in the kitchen thinking the same thing. 'Okay Alex, now that you've proven you can scare the shit out of her what do you do? Jesus, there is now way in hell I can feel so much for her already…and if I just scared her, what about me?' The little voice in her head answered very simply, 'You fell for her, and if it doesn't work you'll be destroyed. But isn't love worth that risk?' And for the first time since she was very young, Alex knew the answer, "without a doubt." She said aloud.

CHAPTER 5

Taking her time, to give Renee a little more time to collect herself, Alex made sure the cabin was locked up for the night. In the den, Renee was taking a deep breath and telling herself, 'Okay Renee suck it up and deal with this. There are two ways to handle this, one, you can hide head and run the other way pretending this didn't happen. Or two, you face it head on, face your fears and see where this can go. You know what you felt in that kiss.'

Alex made her way back to the den, and as she entered she said, "I'm sorry I took so long, I wanted to make sure the place was locked up. Not that it would matter way out here but you never know. Here's your drink." She said as she handed the glass to Renee. "I also wanted to apologize for that kiss. I know I stepped over the line."

"No…first off than you for the wine, and honestly you didn't do anything I didn't want you to do. So there is no need to apologize. Besides I'm thinking I kissed back, and um…I kind of enjoyed it." Renee said shyly.

Alex didn't know what to think or say but she was able to break out with a big smile at that bit of information. Renee continued with a smile of her own, "Would you mind if I said WOW!!" At that Alex let out a laugh and with it all the tension she had been holding since she walked back into the den.

"Yeah, I think I can agree with that 'WOW'. Hope you don't mind me saying this but, um…its been a while since anyone's kiss has taken my breath away like that. Kind of scares me." Alex confided, both because it was true, and because she wanted to let the other woman know she wasn't alone in her fears. Sitting down, Renee was debating on asking a question, after a second or two, she decided to ask. "Not to be intrusive but, when was the last time your breath was taken away…when you met Diane?"

Alex looked at Renee and in that moment decided to tell her the honest truth. "No, Diane never did that. Honestly no one has since I was seventeen years old. You asked earlier about me breaking someone's heart, yeah, that would be Samantha."

Realizing what Alex was about to say Renee started, "No, Alex you don't have to say anything. I shouldn't have asked. We can keep this for another time if you even want to talk about it ever." Alex looked at Renee and saw the concern in her eyes, and it touched her.

"It's okay really. Sammy is Rick's sister, and we all grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools…god we did everything together, the three of us. I think I knew I was in love with her when I was seven years old. Anyway, like I said we went to school together, did the sleep over things. I had no idea she felt the same way until one night when we were all swimming at the lake. We were seventeen maybe, anyway Rick was off with his girlfriend, you know we wanted some privacy, or at least they did. I mean what was I going to do with Sammy? Especially then when I didn't know how she felt. Anyway Sammy and I were off a ways from where Rick was showing off, you know trying to impress her, you know doing all the stupid things we do to get the attention of that special someone." Alex was saying with a smile as she remembered. "Only thing I truly was diving off this big rock that was protruding out of the lake. I remember waking up looking up at the stars with Rick breathing hard, tears in his eyes, Sammy crying and Rick's girlfriend running back with help. Oh and a headache that wouldn't quit. Dad showed up a few minutes later and rushed me to the hospital to stitch up my head and make sure there wasn't anything else wrong. I ended up staying the night because I had a head injury. Not sure who was more scared, Sammy or my dad." Alex said with a laugh.

"So here I am in the emergency room getting ready to be moved to a room and the two are arguing over who is staying with me, like I was a baby or something. Dad says he already knew how Sammy felt about me and that's why he ended up letting her stay with me. Now the hospital personal was another story. God they ended up giving in to Sammy because she was waking up the whole wing. Even Rick couldn't talk her into leaving. And Rick could talk her into anything. Well after I was in my room and everyone had left, Sammy took my hand and told me that she was in love with me, and that if I ever scared her like that again she would kill me herself."

"So what happened, I can see that you still love her. It shows on your face." Renee asked feeling jealous over the look, and wondering if she could even compete with a memory.

"That night I was in heaven. I mean yeah okay I was in a hospital bed but the girl I had loves since I cant remember when, just told me she loved me back. I remember asking her if she was sure, if she really understood what she was saying…can you imagine that." Alex said with a laugh. "Her answer was to lean over and kiss me. What happened after that night…we were young and in love, and had our whole lives ahead of us right. We were both heading off to college that year, of course to different schools, but be would find a way to make it work. God a lot of money spent on travel." She laughed again. "To bad there wasn't any such thing as frequent flier miles then. Needless to say after the first year at different school I transferred to her school and we got a room together, life was good."

"Nice." Was all Renee could think to say.

"It was. Our parents were happy for us, we were happy together for six years. We both graduated from college with degrees, got jobs, our own place. You talked about your life with Donna, was that that her name, well mine mirrored yours only in the end I was the one that couldn't commit. It wasn't that there was another woman or anything like that; I just reached a point where I felt like I was suffocating. Nothing she did helped, nothing I did helped. This cabin, we designed it together our second year together. We had big dreams, we were both going to hit it big in our chosen fields, and make it a home, have kids the whole nine yards. The only thing we didn't plan on was me."

"You said that you both tried everything…what all did that include if you don't mind me asking. Donna, she refused and attempt I made, and I'm wondering if it was just me trying to save something that wasn't' meant to be."

"Lets see, I moved out hoping the time apart would take care of whatever it was that was getting to me. We saw counselors, spent hours, days talking. In the end, it was all me…I broke her heart."

"But your still friends with Rick, so something must have been worked out. Do you ever see her? Are you on friendly terms now?" Renee wanted to know.

"You have to realize that this happened years ago, and my friendship with Rick did go through some hard time because of. Sammy and I, yes we eventually reached a point where we are both comfortable again. We don't see each other often and when we do its special. I think she secretly likes that I'm still single, makes her feel like I could never find anyone as special to replace her. A truth that's to close to home I'm afraid." Alex said a bit too quietly. Fact is she knows all she has to do is call and I'm there rain or shine."

"I guess that's something. Donna and I don't even speak anymore. Honestly I don't think I could deal with being friends. It would hurt too much I think.

"I can't speak for her but it was hard at first. When she finally decided to move on with someone else…yeah it killed me. I remember the first time that happened. It was a couple of years after we broke up, and we were both home for the holidays, Rick however forgot to inform me of that little piece of information. We had a football game we were going to so I went by his place to pick him up. Well I walked up to the door knocked and well you can imagine my surprise when the opened it wasn't either Rick or Pops on the other side it was Samantha. Even then my heart flipped when I saw her. She invited me in while Rick finished getting ready and when we walked into the living room, this woman walked up to my Sammy and wrapped her arms around her…yeah I knew what I had given up. We went and got drunk instead of going to the game."

"So fair question for you, are you still in love with her or have you just decided that you can no longer have her so you know you need to move on."

"In love with her no, she will always be my first love, the one you don't forget. I do know what I gave up that day I walked out of her life, and I have no right waltzing back in and disrupt it. But I do love her, and no on had better make the mistake of thinking otherwise. I left her for a reason, a very selfish one and one I learned quickly to regret, but I did and there is no going back. I've learned to live with my choice, and believe me it wasn't easy, but that's life right."

"I see, I'm sorry I asked. You know you didn't have to tell me about this, I can see that it still hurts you to talk about it."

"It hurt you to talk about Donna, yet you did. You asked a question, I had to answer it, plus I wanted you to know that, that kiss scared me too and why."

"Scared…yeah talk about an understatement. I just wasn't ready for that and to be Honestly, I felt some things I haven't felt in a long time." Renee continued.

"I understand, as I said I don't know what came over me. No, on second thought the thing I'm sorry for is scaring you. Give the chance I would kiss you again."

Renee smile at that and stood up, "Well thank you for saying that…and given the chance I would kiss you right back. And on that note, I'm going to say good night."

Alex stood and said, "Thank you for a nice evening, and I am sorry about earlier this afternoon. I think I over reacted a bit. Here, let me help you to your room, you really shouldn't have stood making dinner."

"Oh, its okay it's actually feeling better. I think I can manage." Renee answered.

"Well…alright if you're sure." Alex said feeling as though Renee had just tossed ice water in her face. Renee immediately regretted having said those words and when she saw the look on Alex's face she felt even worse. In an effort to explain, she said "It's just that…Alex I'm just afraid I let you walk me to my door I'm going to ask you to kiss me again, then I'm going to ask you to come into my room and kiss me some more and then I won't let you leave."

"But I would leave though." Alex was saying.

"No you wouldn't…I wouldn't let you. I already know this. Alex…I… plain and simple fact is I like you a lot already, and there is something going on between us. There is this attraction that I feel growing and that I can't fight. I feel that it could be something really great and I don't want to mess it up. And right now spending the night with you in my bed would mess it up. So I'm going to say goodnight, go to my room and more than likely kick myself for not letting you walk me to my door. Good night sweet kind Alex." She finished almost in a whisper.

"Good night." Alex quietly said as she sat back.

As Alex sat in the dark there was not a word Renee had said that she could find fault with, Renee was right about there being a very strong attraction, and it did seem to be growing in leaps and bounds. She was right about not wanting to mess it up… "God I hate it when there is a valid point being brought up." She muttered under her breath, and that was her final thought that night.

CHAPTER 6

Dreams of both Samantha and Renee flowed through her subconscious mind, dreams that tormented her. She dreamt of the time she broke Samantha's heart and of the day she realized that there was no going back, that Samantha had finally moved on with her life without Alex in it.

She saw herself walking up to Ricks' father's door and ringing the bell. Then she saw the door opening and the last person she ever expected to see standing there. She saw the brief look of sorrow flash in the eyes that looked back at her just before the woman she had spent almost her entire life with stood back to let her in. She followed Samantha as she walked into the living room where, Rick's father was and she watched as a woman she never met wrapped her arms around the love of her life.

"Hey there Al, how's it going sweetheart?" She heard.

"Hi Pops. It's going okay how about you?" She replied as she watched the woman with Samantha.

"Oh, you know, same shit different day. So what are you two hoodlums up to tonight?"

"We're going to the big game tonight; you know do out part to support the local rivalry."

"Ah, there ya go…good clean fun. Suppose to be a hell of a game, I hear."

"Yes sir it should be."

"Sammy what are you doing, go grab Al a drink." Pops ordered Samantha, and to Alex he said "Make yourself comfortable Rick should be down soon but ya never know."

"Thanks Pops, its okay Sammy I got it."

"I'll get it. You know how Pops is; there is no excuse of a guest to have to serve themselves." Samantha said as she walked into the kitchen.

"True, but practically family so…" Alex was saying as she followed Samantha.

"You are family, just not in the way I ever wanted or dreamed of you being." Samantha said quietly.

"Are you happy?" She found herself asking.

"Alex, honestly, I haven't been happy since you left. But I'm trying. I couldn't keep hoping and praying for something that was never going to happen could I. Beth is good to me and she loves me."

The words hit Alex like a brick. She felt as if a knife had just plunged deep into her heart and was being twisted. "But are you happy…do you love her?" She asked, afraid of what she knew she was about to hear.

"Yes."

"I see."

"No Alex you don't see. I've come to terms with the fact that you don't want me ad that the dreams I had for us will never be. Its taken me a long time to realize that. You have no right to show up here now and pretend that my happiness matters to you, or act hurt that I've moved on with my life. Like I said, Beth is good to me."

"Good to you…and what I wasn't…damn it I know I was in the wrong."

"So you know…good, now what. You want another chance to make it right or break what's left of my heart? No, I don't think so. You've had plenty of time to make it right, to try again, and I never heard the phone ring, and I waited trust me…I waited." Samantha said all the pain and anger she had kept inside clearly coming out in her voice.

"I wanted to call, just…"

"Just what…didn't have the time, didn't have my number?"

"I wasn't sure you wanted to hear from me or even give me another chance." Alex said.

"You never gave me the chance to give you that chance. After that last visit with the counselor you shut off everything. No contact, no calls nothing. Did you have any idea what that did to me. I waited night after night for you to call me. I asked Rick if I should call you and he said to just give you time, which I did…it got to the point Rick hated even talking to me because he didn't know what to tell me anymore. Damn it Alex, I prayed that you would call, and you never did…not once." Samantha said, her voice raised and tears rolling down.

"I'm sorry; I wish I could go back in time and changes things." Alex whispered.

"You can't though can you. Why Alex, why did you do this to us? Didn't I love you enough?"

"Hey, what's going on in here? Baby, are you okay?" Beth asked as she came into the kitchen, followed by Rick. As Beth stepped between Alex and Samantha she glared at Alex and ushered Samantha out, never giving Alex a chance to respond. Rick placed his hands on Alex's shoulders and led her out of the kitchen as well. Alex saw Pops standing by the fireplace shaking his head, his eyes shining with unshed tears. And as Rick led her out of the house the only thing she could think was, "That's it, I've lost my one and only love, my shot at happiness. Now what do I do."

Alex woke with that thought in her mind and a very stiff neck, "teach me to fall asleep in this chair again." She said to herself. Knowing that she would never be able to go back to sleep, she quietly went to the fireplace added more wood, and then made her way to the kitchen where she put coffee on. With nothing to do until the coffee was ready, she decided to let Bo out for a bit, after all he loved early morning romps in the snow. She followed him enjoying the sight of him running and sniffing at the snow. She leaned against the railing and looked up at the sky, loving the clear view of the early morning stars and the cold, fresh mountain air. Before long though the cold started getting to her so she called for Bo, and together the two went back inside. Bo headed for his spot in front of the fire, and Alex went to the coffee pot. Soon, with coffee in hand she joined Bo, and was once again transported to the past.

It had been a couple of years later when she saw Samantha again, and with everything that was said and done before, she was surprised that the meeting went as well as it had. It had been a long day working with a pain in the ass know it all client, and being at the grocery store was the last place she wanted to be. But she had promised her dad that she would stop and pick us some things for him, so here she was standing in the produce isle quickly losing patience. After all just how long does it take to pick up a couple of tomatoes? If she were to go by the length of time the elderly woman in her way was taking, then it was to long. She had tried to be polite and say 'excuse me,' but she got a scowl as an answer, she had tried to politely reach around, but got a lecture on manners. She was very close to telling the woman exactly what she was thinking when she heard a soft voice behind her say, "Hi Mrs. DeAngelo. Could I trouble you for a moment, I'm in a rush to get home and I need a couple of nice tomatoes for my husband's dinner. Do you think you could help me out, I don't think I could find a nice tomato right now if my life depended on it." The old woman smiled, quickly handed a plastic bag with three perfect tomatoes to Samantha, and said "Oh such a lucky man to have such a good wife, he must be so proud. And you, to take such good care of him…" Samantha smiled and said, "Well I try. Thank you so much. Take care."

Alex could only stand there with her mouth hanging open as she watched the exchange and could not believe how easily Samantha had gotten the old woman to help her.

"What…how did you do that? I asked politely if she could hand me a couple, they didn't even have to be perfect, and she all but bite my head off!"

"Come on, I have a hungry husband waiting for me remember." Samantha whispered pulling Alex's cart with her as she walked away from the produce isle. "You don't remember Mrs. DeAngelo do you?"

"No should I?" Alex asked, still amazed at how quickly Samantha got what she wanted, and at how she still looked just as sweet and beautiful as Alex remembered.

Samantha laughed as she said, "You would think setting fire to someone's car would be something that would be etched into a persons mind."

"NO…that wasn't her. My God she was old then!" Alex said louder than she meant to as she looked over her shoulder to get a good look at the woman they had just left. Samantha looked back as well and said as she laughed, "Shh, you never could keep your mouth shut when you're supposed to could you. For an old woman, she can still hear pretty well you know."

Once they had moved a couple of isles away, Alex again said, "So how did you do that?"

"Well, first off she likes me…I didn't set her car on fire. And Alex, she is old fashioned you know.

"I didn't mean to kill her car. And what do you mean by 'she is old fashioned.'

"Women in her time stayed home and raised the children. They didn't run around with a gun clipped to their belt. I'm surprised someone hasn't called the police yet. You just got off work didn't you." Samantha said with a smile, as understanding flashed across Alex's face.

"Shit, its still clipped isn't it." Alex said as she kept herself from moving her hand to her gun.

"It is."

"Okay, well I guess it's a good thing management knows me as well as the police department does huh." Alex said. "So, tell me about the husband waiting at home."

"Oh that was a good one don't you think!" Samantha once again laughed.

"Never know, you could have switched teams. You look good Sammy." Alex said softly.

"So do you Alex. I like you hair this way."

"Thank you. How have you been Sammy?" Alex asked, using the name only a very select few were ever allowed to use.

"I'm good, how about you Al?"

Alex answered and the two continued to make small talk and before long realized that they had finished their shopping together and no other choice but to pay for their items and go their separate ways. As Alex walked to her car she realized she wasn't as tired as she had been before Samantha came to her rescue, and hell she was even smiling.

Being in a better mood than she had been earlier she even offered to cook dinner for her dad. Not that cooking for him was a big deal, but for her to cook with a big smile and whistling was.

"What's gotten into you?" I thought you and a meeting with Kline today. Every time you meet with him you're a bitch the rest of the day." Her father asked as he watched her almost dance in the kitchen.

"I did. Am I really that bad?" She asked as she moved from the stove to the counter and back. "You'll never guess who I ran into at the store tonight." She continued.

"Probably not, so why don't you tell me."

"Samantha."

"You did? You didn't go make a fool of yourself again did you?"

"No I didn't. We actually had a nice little talk, even made arrangements to have dinner Friday night."

"You did huh. That's interesting." Her dad said thoughtfully.

"Don't go thinking things that aren't going to happen, dad. Its dinner and its just two friends getting reacquainted, that's all."

"You never know kiddo, she was crazy about you, you know."

"Dad…I know. But I don't think its going to work out like that. She has moved on, and I really hurt her."

"You were hurt too. I was there remember, I saw how you were when she showed up with that woman…least Rick could have done was warn you." Her father said, a trace of the anger he felt back then still evident now.

"He didn't know she was going to show up dad. And even if he had, he didn't know Sammy had met anyone."

"I guess you're right, but still. Don't think it was right you not having a clue she was around."

"Its okay dad, it happened. I should have realized she would eventually go on with her life. I chose to think I was unforgettable." Alex said with a smile. "Point is we met again down the road, and we're both in a better place with our lives, maybe we can regain at least our friendship…if it turns to more great if not…its all good."

The movement of Bo's head brought Alex back from her thoughts, and she noticed that she wasn't alone. Renee had just walked into the room. Alex smiled at her, she couldn't it. Renee was cute with her hair messed from sleep.

"I hope I didn't wake you." Alex said with a smile.

"I smelled the coffee a while ago, just tried to ignore it. How long have you been up?"

"Since about five I think, what time is it now?" Alex answered.

"It's about 6:30."

"Then you did more than just try to ignore the coffee." Alex said with a smile.

"I guess I did, didn't I? I hope I'm not bothering you…you seemed a little lost in thought when I came in."

"You aren't bothering me at all. I was just…lost in the past I uses you could say."

"Oh? That sounds interesting."

"Not really. Would you like some coffee? I think I need some more." Alex said as she moved to the kitchen. Renee followed, and grabbed herself a mug while Alex reheated the coffee, and went to the refrigerator and took out the bacon and eggs, and went to the stove, without missing a beat, Renee went and grabbed the bread, the butter, and jam and prepared to start the toast. Together the two made breakfast all the while Renee tried to get Alex to tell her what she had been thinking about when she walked into the den earlier. Finally unable to get her to stop Alex gave in and told the blonde a little of what she wanted to know. When she was finished, Renee was full of questions, and Alex was tired of talking.

"I'll make a deal with you. You tell me more about you and your life and tonight I'll answer your questions." Alex said hoping that she could get Renee to forget this topic of conversation.

"Okay. What do you want to know?"

"Were you always so nosey?" Alex asked with a chuckle.

"Hm yes always. What you think a talent like mine just is? NO, you have to develop it, hone it you know." Renee answered, and both started laughing.

And with that, as they cleaned up the kitchen, she told Alex about some of her life. She told of growing up, the second of three children in New Mexico. Her parents both teachers, were kind and loving and provided her with a happy childhood. Well, least until she reached her high school years and stopped hiding her feelings about other girls. Her parent's just couldn't understand and the battles became more than she could handle. Finally when she couldn't take it any longer she moved in with her best friend, who was also her girlfriend. Her parents, although they didn't understand, didn't make a big deal about their daughter's choice and fully accepted her the way she was and loved her none the less. Renee told Alex how at the time she envied Rachel. At the time she said she just didn't see nor believe that her parents had loved her, she couldn't understand how the loving people she had remembered when she was seven or eight, were the same people who forbid her to be who she was. How could they have changed so drastically…she told Alex about the final fight, the one where she stated that love was love and she couldn't help it that she was attracted to girls instead of boys. Renee remembered how her parents had told her she was sick, and that she was either to change her way of thinking and feeling or leave…she left. It was years before her parents realized their mistake and made the attempt to contact their daughter. Since that time the rift had slowly healed, and in a lot of ways was still healing, much to Renee's delight. She had missed her family.

Alex, whose father had been totally supportive of her, was finding it very hard to be forgiving of Renee's parents. "I'm sorry," she said "but it's a parent's responsibility to accept and support their child no matter what."

"Alex, it's different though. Some cultures are more embracing and accepting than others. And given the area I grew up in, well it was hard for mom and dad to understand. They eventually did though and that's what I'm grateful for." Realizing she wasn't going to sway Alex, she went on to tell her about her college years, she even talked more about her life with Donna, and that was the hard part. She usually never talked about that time with anyone other than to say, she had learned her lesson about love.

Alex thought about what Renee had already told her about her relationship with Donna, and just couldn't get over the fact that someone was in her, opinion stupid enough to not see what they had. But then again, didn't she do just that with Samantha? 'Yes but in that case it was best to let her go. She would have ended up hating me.'

"You got awful quiet, what are you thinking?" Renee asked after watching Alex for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry I was just thinking. Do you ever wonder how you're life would be different if things had worked out like you wanted with Donna?"

"Of course I do. But if I'm honest with myself I have to admit that we would have ended up going our separate ways anyway. I believe we both wanted different things out of life." Renee answered. "How about you, do you ever wonder how different you life would be?"

"I use to. Again though I realize as much as I loved Sammy, I wasn't ready for life with her, and when I was ready she had moved on. Do you still believe that love will always hurt?"

"I don't know. Do I get lonely, yes…do I wish I had someone love me for me and be there for me at the end of the day, of course I do. Am I afraid to let myself love someone as deeply as I did Donna, oh yeah, that thought terrifies me."

"So what do you do then?" Alex asked truly interested in the answer.

Renee thought about the question and honestly didn't know how to answer. She thought about the attraction she felt towards the woman in front of her, and she knew that Alex felt it too. Was it just physical, no she didn't think so because she had been attracted to other women after Donna, but it had never been this strong. Was it worth her heart to investigate things?

Alex sat back and watched Renee, she was thinking as well. She knew there was this attraction between them and she knew, at least on her side of things, that it was more than physical. She felt a connection, almost a sense of coming home, when she was with Renee or even thought of the green eyed blonde. Yes she had to admit there was a strong sexual attraction as well, but for the first time in a very, very long time it wasn't the most important part of a relationship. A fact that in itself blew Alex's mind.

"I'm not sure, suck it up and deal? Its just hard, with Donna I trusted, I gave my heart and soul to her and in the end I got it all fed back to me. Makes it kind of hard to want to do that all again you know." Renee answered as she sat back into the sofa. As Alex added more wood to the fire she thought about the answer she just received. Is this what Samantha had to deal with, to get over? Did she feel what Renee had just described? No, she found someone and moved on; she was able to love again. 'Yes, but do you think it was easy for her?' that voice in her head shot back. 'No probably not, but she did.' She thought. God, was she responsible for making someone she loved more than life itself feel the way the woman in front of her feels? 'Don't be stupid, of course you are. You did it to Samantha and in your heart you know it. You know you came close to destroying her.' Alex found that hard to swallow. 'But Sammy…Sammy nothing, face it you fed her heart to her and nothing you do or say can justify it.'

"Alex what are you thinking? Renee asked, as she watched the dark woman.

"I'm just…I guess I was wondering if I put Sammy through what you're going through." Alex answered.

"She was in love with you right? You were her first love? I'm sorry Alex, but from where I sit…yes you did." Renee answered truthfully. "Alex, don't beat yourself up and I can see that's what you're doing. From the sounds of it you both have made peace and are friends again right, you've said she is happy. In the end that's all that matters, isn't it?"

"You know, I'm tired of talking. How's your ankle feel?" Alex asked as she stood up.

"Actually today it feels good."

"Do you think its well enough for a short walk?"

"I don't see why not, and honestly I'd love to get outside and see some scenery. I bet it's beautiful with all the snow." Renee answered excitedly.

"It is. Come on lets get you ready. You do have some winter clothes with you right?" Alex asked, remembering how Renee was dressed when she showed up at her door a couple of nights ago.

"Yes I do, they are packed in one of my bags."

"Good, then you go get ready, I'll make sure the fire has enough wood and get my things on and we can go. How do you feel about a snowmobile ride?"

"Sound great!" Renee answered as she headed for her room.

Alex added a few more chunks of wood, and hurried to get her snowsuit and boots on, then went to get the snowmobile ready. With a smile on her face she checked to make sure there was enough gas in the tank. Diane would never have wanted to go with me on the snowmobile. Some how I don't see that she would appreciate the beauty nor see the fun in it, she thought. 'So what were you doing with her?' 'Christ, I don't know, why do you have to always throw in your two cents?' She said to that voice in her head.

Renee in the mean time was in her room already dressed and ready to go. She was trying hard to not appear to eager or excited. The thought of just being out on a walk with Alex was enough to make her smile, but the thought of being behind her on a snowmobile with her arms wrapped around her enough to make her day. At the moment there was nothing more she wanted than to be that close to the other woman. 'God it's getting hot in here.' She thought, 'get it together Renee, you're a grown woman not a teenager. Stop getting all hot and bothered.' After what she thought was a reasonable amount of time, she went to find Alex.

The rest of the afternoon the two spent outside with Alex showing Renee the beauty of her, 'backyard'. After all what could be more beautiful than a forest of trees with snow covered branches, surrounded by brilliant blue skies. The temperature was not overly cold, and had just enough bite to make a person feel alive. Renee loved being behind Alex on the snowmobile, with her arms wrapped around her bundled body. Yes, it was hard with all the layers of clothing but it was enough to know that beneath it all was Alex, solid and warm. It felt good to hold on to someone. She felt alive, somehow just holding on to Alex made the afternoon brighter. Renee leaned closer to Alex, and simply enjoyed holding on to her.

Alex was sure to take her guest to spots she knew would be amazingly beautiful this time of day. The sunlight shining through the trees and bouncing off the white snow covered ground, and behind it all were higher mountains peaks, it was spectacular, and there was just no other way to describe it. The fact that Renee was leaning into her and holding her close made the day perfect a far as she was concerned. She did however want to see Renee's eyes as she took in the scenery, so when she reached a particular spot she decided to stop. As Alex killed the motor, she turned and started to remove her helmet. Renee did the same with her helmet.

"I wanted you to see this spot. It's my favorite place up here, no matter what time of year it is." She explained to Renee, who was stepping off the snowmobile. Alex stepped off as well, and took Renee's hand then led her to a small clearing. The only sound was that of their feet crunching the snow with every step they took. As they reached the edge of the clearing, they caught sight of a family of deer as they searched for food. Alex looked over at Renee, who was entranced with the sight. Renee looked in Alex's direction and caught her motioning her to remain quiet. She nodded in understanding and again turned to watch the animals. After a little while the small group bounded off in search of water, and Renee turned to Alex the excitement showing clearly on her face.

"Wow Alex that was amazing! I didn't expect to see anything like that."

"They are usually here every morning. Some days there are two groups."

"Thank you for sharing this with me."

"You're welcome." Alex answered as she took Renee's hand and they walked back to the snowmobile. The ride back to the cabin still held a special excitement for Renee, with her arms wrapped around Alex's waist and her head resting on her back, she felt at home. In no time they were pulling up to the garage doors and Alex was killing the motor. The two walked hand in hand inside where Bo greeted them happily, jumping and bouncing here and there. Alex took her boots and snowsuit off and told Renee to go get warm in front of the fire, while she made some hot chocolate for them, a plan Renee totally agreed with. Renee walked into the den towards the fireplace and added more wood. As she stood there when went thought the day in her head, it had been a very nice day. They didn't argue about anything, they learned more about each other, and were finding that they truly enjoyed each others company. Of course it didn't hurt that Alex was gorgeous…or single, and actually interested in her as well. She smiled at that thought.

Alex heated the milk, mixed in the chocolate and poured it into mugs while she too thought about the day she just spent with Renee. "Christ I'm in trouble." She said to herself. She realized as she watched Renee looking at the group of deer that she was falling for the little blonde, and falling fast. "Shit now what?" she asked herself. 'Just go with it.' The voice in her head told her. And this time she was inclined to actually listen without arguing. As she grabbed the mugs of coco she saw that the message light was flashing on the answering machine, "No, I'm not going to listen to it. I have a beautiful lady waiting for me and I'm on vacation damn it." She said to herself, and walked out of the kitchen.

In the den, Renee had put on some soft music and was sitting on the sofa gazing at the fire when Alex walked in. "Here we are." Alex said as she handed Renee a mug of the steaming mixture.

"Mm thank you, it looks wonderfully warm." Renee said with a smile.

"You didn't get to cold did you?" Alex asked with concern in her voice.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you again for showing me the meadow. It is absolutely beautiful." Renee replied.

"You're welcome." Alex said quietly, "I don't share that spot with many people, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"My God how could I have not? I've never seen anything so…I can't even think of a word to describe it. I don't think I have ever seen deer that close in my life. You said they are there almost every day?"

"Yes, at least thy have been the last few days. I'm assuming they are the same group that's been there before. There is one that's getting a bit brave. He's noticed me watching, and is getting to where he doesn't run when the other do. In fact this morning, I swear he took a couple of steps towards me before he decides to join his group."

"That would be amazing to see." Renee said.

"Maybe you can go with me tomorrow, and he'll do it again. Never know." Alex said as she smiled. She enjoyed seeing Renee so excited.

They were sitting around talking about things in general when Renee asked, "So when do you think the road will be travelable?"

"I'm not sure, maybe with all the sun in a day or so." Alex answered quietly. She hadn't wanted to think that maybe Renee would want to leave as soon as she could.

"I guess I should have told you, I had your car towed over to Jack's place. There wasn't any damage so it's ready whenever you are ready to take off. I'd imagine you're more than ready for that."

"No, actually…I was thinking maybe you were ready for me to leave you to your space. I did after all just land at your door uninvited. I don't want to overstay my welcome." Renee answered as she watched Alex's face.

"Oh, well in that case you don't need to worry. I'm enjoying your company." Alex said with a bright smile. She was happy that Renee didn't seem to want to leave and at the moment was having a very hard time keeping herself from moving over to the small woman and showing her just how happy she was. She didn't know that Renee was fighting with herself over the same thing. At that moment the phone decided to ring. Alex had half a mind to ignore it but for some reason, had the overwhelming feeling that she needed to answer. On the third ring she picked up, "Hello."

"Alex…" "Hey Gail, how are you? What did you think I forgot all about you and wasn't going to call you today?" she teased.

"No, sweetie I wish that was the case, but no. Alex, sweetie your dad's had an accident and is in I.C.U." the voice on the other end of the line said quietly.

At hearing I.C.U. Alex felt the world give out from under her feet. Sitting down she said, "What do you mean…how bad is he?"

"I don't know sweetie, it doesn't look good from what Angel has said. No one has called you?"

Alex thought about the blinking light. "I was out this afternoon, and haven't listened to the messages yet. Um, what happened? Is Angel with him, who's the doctor in charge of his care?" Alex asked, her mind going a million miles a minute.

"She is there now; she says the Dr in charge is Brennan. Alex, he's a good doctor, and you know that Swedish medical is a good hospital."

"Okay…I need to call and find out what I can. I'll call you as soon as I talk to the doctor." Alex said in a rush.

"Okay, I'll be waiting to hear from you."

As she hung up the phone she was reaching for her address book. "What's wrong Alex?" Renee asked.

"My dad has been in an accident. Gail says he's in intensive care and that it doesn't look good…hang on."

"Yes, this is Alex Kincaid; I'm calling about my father Ward Kincaid. I understand he was involved in an accident and is in I.C.U, a Dr. Brennan is in charge of his case. Yes I'll hold." After what seemed like an eternity Alex was off the phone, only to pick it up a minute later.

"Phil, this is Alex. I need you to find out if there is any place you can set down a helicopter, and how soon you can be here. Yes I'm at the cabin. I know there was a storm, Christ I'm sitting in the middle of acres of snow. Find out and call me back." Her tone did not leave room for argument, and apparently she got none.

Alex turned her deep blue eyes on Renee and said, "It isn't good news right now. If I can…rather if Phil can land, I'll be leaving later this evening. I'll be happy to take you with me and make arrangements for you to go where ever you'd like. I…I'm just not comfortable leaving you here alone…I mean if anything were to happen to you. What am I talking about; you're a grown woman…"

"Alex sweetheart try and relax. Tell me what you found out for sure." Renee said as she immediately walked to Alex and wrapped her arms around her. She ached for the woman and wished she could take the pain she knew Alex was feeling away from her. Alex took a deep breath before she turned in the arms that were wrapped around her. Her blue eyes met the green ones that looked back at her and in them she saw love and that Renee felt her pain as well. "Come sit down for a bit, you look like you're going to fall down." Renee led Alex to the sofa.

As Alex sad she started. "From what the doctor said, there was some internal damage, a collapsed lung and there is pressure on his brain…I need to get to him Renee, he's in a coma, and they aren't sure he'll come out of it. I need to get to him." She started as she rose and started to pace the floor.

"I know you do sweetie. Where is he?"

"He's at Swedish Medical in Denver."

"Okay that isn't to far way, I heard you talking to Phil, was it, and surely he can find a way to land around here and take you to your father. If not tonight then surely first thing, in the morning, I'm sure or it. Did the doctor tell you anything else?"

"There really wasn't much to tell. Right now they just don't know." Alex was saying.

Just then the phone rang and Alex jumped up to grab it before it could ring again. "Hello? Yes Phil, what did you find out?" After talking to her pilot for a couple of minutes, Alex hung up and said," Looks I'm here until tomorrow, there is too much fog for him to lift off... is there anyone you would like to call. I was serious, I can't leave you here, and I'm not all that sure about the roads."

"Yes I need to talk to my friend Robin and let her know I'll need a ride home from the airport. And I'll just need to get a ticket home so I guess I need to call the airport too."

"Just tell your friend to expect your call. I'll have my jet ready to take you anywhere you need." Alex said quietly.

"You don't have to do that, you've done more than enough already." Renee said.

"I want to. When it's safe I'll have you're car delivered to you as well. Do you have another way to get around until then?" Alex asked with concern. Renee answered but still argued that Alex had done enough. That was until Alex firmly stated that the matter was settled. With a half hearted smile, Alex asked if Renee was hungry. Renee said yes, but only because she knew Alex needed to or at least needed to try to put her mind on something else. So together they went into the kitchen for food. They ate, and Alex did her best to keep Alex busy and her mind off for a few minutes and the time did pass by. It was ten p.m. when Renee said she needed to go pack her things so that she would be ready in the morning when Alex was. She reached over and hugger her new friend wishing more than ever that she could do something to help. Alex immediately felt the warmth as Renee's arms wrapped around her again, and she fought herself from hanging on when the arms moved away.

CHAPTER 7

The words "I'm sorry, there was nothing we could do.", were repeated in her head, over and over like a broken record. She saw Gail and Angel reach for her and all she could do was scream "NO." The next thing she felt were gentle hands and a voice in her ear whispering it was okay. "Shush, its okay Baby. It was only a dream…wake up sweetheart." Renee said quietly. "There you are…relax sweetheart, its okay." She continued as she saw Alex coming out of her dream, and tenderly wiped away the tears that Alex had cried in her sleep. That was all it took and Alex broke down completely. The tears fell as Alex gave up on controlling anything. All Renee could do was hold as the raven haired woman quaked. Slowly the shaking stopped, as did the tears and still Renee held Alex close. Tenderly kissing the top of her head, softly whispering how she understood. Alex lifted her head and looked into Renee's eyes, and without either of them thinking they kissed. It started soft and tender, but soon built up in intensity. Before either of them knew it they were breathing hard, trying to catch their breath, but still not able to get enough of the other. Alex was the first to move, her breath ragged and her voice husky as she said, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." Renee's only response was to lean into Alex and reclaim her mouth. Alex groaned and gave in to the hunger and need she felt in her soul.

Soon Alex stood and pulled Renee to her feet and led her to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. As they reached the edge of the bed Alex slowly untied the belt to Renee's robe, as she looked into the green eyes. At the same time Renee's hands were busy with their own task, mainly slipping under the tank top Alex wore. The feel of hot flesh beneath her fingertips felt like heaven. She felt Alex's muscles quiver as she slowly moved her fingers up, she heard the sharp intake of Alex's breathe. Alex groaned but still held onto her control, barely. Alex's finger tips slowly moved up Renee's sides, the heat emanating from Renee's body through the silky material of the gown she wore. Even in her state of mind Alex saw what a beautiful vision Renee was in the emerald green gown, the silk meeting with the bodice, which held perfectly shaped creamy breasts that were aching to be released from their confinement. Alex's fingers moved up to the straps of the gown and gently pulled them off the soft shoulder. She backed away a step as she watched the gown slid to the floor. With her voice deep and rich with desire she said, "God, you're so beautiful…the way the moonlight shines off you hair…"her fingers were touching the soft curls that framed Renee's face, and as Alex stepped back towards Renee the fingers wrapped around her head and Alex's mouth descended on Renee's with a passionate kiss that soon erupted into a fiery kiss which threatened to consume them both. Renee pulled Alex closer, not fully realizing how close to the bed they really were, and down they went. Alex tried to keep from smashing Renee and Renee trying to get Alex closer, her hands on Alex's back pulling, her fingernails digging and raking into her as her need grew in leaps and bounds.

Alex broke away from Renee's mouth to kiss and nip at her neck and shoulders, her right arm supporting her weight while her left hand found the blondes breast. Soon she was kneading and squeezing it, the nipple, hard as a rock, was being brushed back and forth in the palm of Alex's hand. It wasn't' enough for Alex, slowly she made her way down the beautiful blondes neck. Tasting every inch of the lovely neck in front of her, she particularly enjoyed the feel of the jumping pulse point in Renee's neck as it skipped triple time every time Alex so much as breathed on it. Her hands were busy feeling every exposed area of Renee's skin. Her hand was gliding up and down the sides of her rib to her hips, slowly moving over her thighs, listening when Renee would make a noise, and repeating the action just to hear the noise again. She let her hand move up the inside of Renee's thigh, as her mouth tasted the sweetness from her breast. First it was just the tip of the tongue as it barely flicked over the nipple, then again…only this time it was more of the tongue, moving slower over the nipple. Renee groaned…Alex moaned, and gently sucked the hard nub into her mouth. It was her down fall, she needed more, and wanted more…her tongue flicked and rolled the hard nipple around as her hand moved up Renee's thigh and felt her heat. Her eyes on Renee's face and watched the expressions as she slowly moved her hand closer to the woman's center. At first it was just the tips of her fingers softly moving over the curls that covered Renee's treasure. The first tickling of the fingers drew a soft whimper from Renee, and Alex almost lost it, as she watched Renee throw her head back in pleasure. The fingers were soon moving, slowly exploring the hot wet opening, finding the tiny bud that was begging to be touched. With her thumb gently brushing against that nub, Alex's mouth was back to tasting Renee's sweet breast, flicking the nipple back and forth, gently biting it then sucking it deep into her mouth. It wasn't long before she had Renee pleading for release.

"Please Baby, I need you…I need you inside me…"

"With that Alex gently slide one finger inside the wet, hot tunnel, and moaned with total pleasure from both what she felt and heard…soon one finger became two, and the speed was increasing, Renee's hips were meeting each and every one of Alex's inward thrusts, and the Alex curled her finger and hit that spot repeatedly, and within seconds Renee was crashing over the edge. Her body shaking and trembling with the ecstasy Alex just gave her. Alex held on Renee came back down, and then she saw tears sliding down from the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen. "Baby, sweetheart are you okay…did I hurt you? What's wrong?" She tenderly withdrew her fingers and wrapped Renee in her arms, totally afraid she had done something wrong, or had hurt the woman she was growing to love more with each passing minute. "I'm sorry for whatever I did," she softly said as she wiped the tears away with such tenderness.

"No, oh Baby you didn't do anything wrong…in fact everything was just so… wonderful. I'd say perfect but I'm not sure that would even cover it. Alex, you took my breath away." Renee said as she laid her head deeper into the tall woman's shoulder. Alex wrapped her arms around Renee tighter and brought the blankets up over them and knowing that Renee was next to her, she fell asleep. Renee, with her eyes closed, knew the instant Alex was asleep by the even breathing coming from the warm chest her head rested on, and soon she was asleep too.

The night pasted without further nightmares from Alex, and it was the ringing of the phone that drug them from their slumber. Alex jumped up to grab it, all the while, praying it wasn't the hospital with bad news. Renee sat up in bed and just waited. As she got off he phone Alex was torn over what was happening. "That was Phil, he says he will be leaving in about 30 minutes and be touching down in the meadow, so we have about an hour. Do you want to shower first? I'll get coffee going." Renee was sitting on the bed holding back tears she knew she had no right to be shedding. In a very quiet voice she said "Sure I'll shower first, I won't be long." She finished stronger."

Alex went to the kitchen started the coffee and made two calls. By the time she was done with it the coffee was ready. She readied two mugs and carried them into the master room, set them down and walked into the bath, undressed and joined Renee in the shower. She let her arms, wrap around the smaller woman.

"What are you doing?" Renee asked as she felt the arms wrap around her, and turned so that she faced Alex.

"Well it occurred to me that I need to shower too, and will we'll save both time and water this way, plus I get to do this again." She answered as her mouth descended onto Renee's. Again the kiss was tender, sweet, and held such passion and a promise of things to come, a fact that was killing them both at the moment. The two showered, and continued to share kisses and soft loving touches, but were careful to keep it under control…which was hard to do. They soon realized the really need to get out and dry off and finish getting things together. It took some doing and a lot of restraint on both parts but soon they were dressed, and had their bags sitting at the door ready to be put on the snowmobile. "Have you talked to the hospital this morning?" Renee asked.

"I called while the coffee was brewing. He is still in a coma. But the fact that he made it through the night is good. Still the pressure on his brain is…again no change so I suppose that's good." Alex answered.

"Okay, I know it's hard but, it's a good thing that's he's in the coma. It's his body's way of shutting down so it can heal." Renee said as she hugged Alex. "Will Bo be going with us today?"

"No, he is staying with Jack, who we will be meeting up with in the meadow. Jack will tow the snowmobile back to the cabin, lock up and take Bo home with him. And as much as I hate it, it's time to leave." Alex said to Renee, "Bo, be a good boy and go with Jack when he comes for you."

"Woof." Was her only reply from the canine.

Within minutes the two were off to the meadow, both lost in their thoughts. As they pulled into the clearing, Renee saw a stocky man that reminded her of Santa Claus, with his white beard, all that was missing was the red suit. When they stopped he moved towards them. Walking straight to Alex he pulled her into a tight hug and said, "I'm sorry to hear about your daddy, but he's a strong one, he won't be givin up without a fight. So don't you, ya hear me?"

"I know Jack…I know, and I won't. Jack this is Renee… it was her car you helped with the other day."

Renee walked over to the man, reached out her hand to shake his but found herself pulled into a big bear hug instead. "It's mighty nice to meet ya. I'm sure Al told ya, another couple of inches and you wouldn't be with us… I'm mighty glad ya are." Once again Renee had no idea what to say so she said what her parents had taught her to say, "Thank you sir, for everything. Maybe when I come back for my car you can show me where I was."

"I sure can do." And as he said that they all heard a roar and had snow flying around them. The helicopter landed and when it was safe, a man opened the door and was waving them forward. Alex said she would call Jack and give him and update whenever she knew something, and reached for Renee's and her bags. Renee said her goodbyes as well. And together the two moved to the helicopter, and entered it. Renee willed herself to hang on to her emotions. God, was it selfish of her to not want to let go of this place and Alex even though she knew Alex was needed elsewhere? The thought, 'I don't want to leave here…her, yet.' Kept running in her head and she had to keep telling herself to stop it. It wasn't like Alex had made any promises to her last night, or even this morning. Besides, wasn't it her that went to Alex and pushed things to a level she swore shouldn't happen yet?

Alex was having her own troubles with her thoughts. 'God this isn't what I want to be doing right now, sending her off one way while I go another isn't what I want. But am I assuming to much if I ask her to stay with me?' Alex thought. She was hurting over her father and having to let go of Renee right now. Last night was the start of something and she wanted to explore it more, to let things develop…it was too soon to have to part. Sitting there they both knew it wouldn't take long to reach Denver, and that their time together was limited now. Be that as it may, they were still both lost in their own thoughts and neither knew how or what to say, things for the first time awkward for them.

"I don't remember, did you get a hold of your friend, Lisa was it, to let her know where to pick you up?" Alex asked trying to break the awkwardness.

"Yes, I did. I'm supposed to call her when I land. You know Alex; you don't have to have your jet take me home. I can pay for a ticket."

"I know. But this way I'll have an idea of where to find you. I might even drop in on you sometime." Alex said with a smile. "Renee, this isn't how I wanted things to be. And I do plan on keeping in touch with you, if you'll let me."

"I'd like that very much. But you didn't have to make such a big thing about being able to fine me either, all you had to do was ask and I'd have given you my address." Renee laughed.

"Well, true but this way I get to show off some too." Alex replied as she reached for Renee's hand and held onto it, her fingers lacing with the smaller ones. Some of the awkwardness had disappeared and the two were finally starting to relax again. Of course that would be when Phil had to pipe through the headsets each were wearing and tell them they were getting ready to land. Knowing that these were their last few minutes together, the two held tighter, each trying to convey to the other what they were feeling. Once they set dawn and it was safe for them to disembark the helicopter, they were ushered to the limo that set waiting. Inside Renee asked for a pen and paper on which she wrote her, address as well as home, cell, and work numbers. She ended with strict instructions for Alex to call her and let her know how Alex's dad was. All too soon the limo pulled up to the hospital and the two hugged, and kissed each other one last time. Neither one of them wanting to go. Finally Alex pulled away and slid out of the car, and it pulled away. Then and only then did Renee let her tears fall. The limo drove to a private landing strip, where on the runway sat a jet waiting to take her home. The driver opened the door and held out her hand to help Renee out of the car.

"Ms. Montgomery, we've arrived. I've been instructed to make sure you have everything you need, and if not to make sure you are supplied with it." The driver said, as she took in the little blonde from behind mirrored sunglasses.

"I'm good thank you. How soon do I take off, do you know?"

"I believe as soon as you board." Was the reply.

"Oh well then, I suppose I better board. I'm sure the pilot has better things to do than wait on me."

'I'd gladly wait on you.' The driver said under her breath.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Renee asked.

"No, ma'am." She said in a rush.

"Okay, I thought I heard something. Well thank you for your help today." Renee said and then headed to board the sitting jet. She boarded and was soon in the air with only her thoughts, memories, and hopes to keep her company.

CHAPTER 8

At the hospital, Alex was in deep conversations with the Doctors going over the progress, or what she felt the lack of, of her father. She had called Rick while she waited between tests and Drs. Coming in to explain the results, and had gotten what details they had. And she was now face to face with her old friend as they waited yet again for more explanations.

"So you're not sure it was just an accident. That means you have proof that something else happened, what is it?" She asked in a frustrated voice.

"Alex I can't tell you any more than it is under investigation."

"Damn it Rick don't pull that with me, if you have something let me know."

"Do not push me Alex…I can't go into it and you know that." Rick said in equal frustration.

"FINE, then I'll start my own damned investigation."

"Considering you have an investigators license I can't stop you, but I don't think it's a good idea. What I can say is this, whatever you find; you have to turn over to us." Rick said, knowing that his job just got harder, and that he was going to have his hands full with both his job, and keeping Alex in line. Shaking her head she turned to walk away. Rick just managed to grab her arm and whispered in her ear, "Alex, I'm not a complete asshole okay. Meet me outside I have something for you."

Looking at Rick she said quietly, "Let me just tell dad that I'll be right back and I'll be out."

"If you don't mind, I'd kind of like to see him."

"I'm sorry Rick, of course I don't mind. Rick, I know you're only doing you job and I appreciate it. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time." Alex said as they walked towards the ICU doors. Alex walked right by the nurses desk and Rick flashed his badge.

"Hey dad I'm back and I brought someone with me. You remember Rick…and no you can't give him a hard time, it's not his fault he doesn't' have the common sense to quit the department and come to work for me." She was saying to her father as the two smiled at the joke the three shared. Ever since Alex started her own security firm, her dad felt Rick should be a part of if and took it personally when he wouldn't quit the force.

"Hey there Mr. Kincaid, I'd ask what you think you're doing laying there like you are, but after seeing some of the nurses you have taking care of you…well I guess I'd give it some consideration too." He and Alex smiled at that, it was no secret that her dad had an eye for the pretty ladies. "Just so you know though, you can't stay here to much longer, Alex needs someone other than me to keep her in line, and well honestly sir, I don't know of anyone that does a better job than you. Um anyway, I need to get going. I just wanted to stop by and say hi, make sure you know you're needed here with us still." He said as his eyes misted over and he found it hard to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. He reached over and gently touched the older mans hand before he nodded his head to Alex, cleared his throat and told them both that he would stop by later to see them.

As he left the room he wiped his eyes and prayed the man who was like a second father to him would recover. After a minute or two, Alex joined him and the two walked to his car.

"I know you thought I wasn't going to help you, and you know this could mean my job, but…you and I go back a long way and hell he's like my own father. I made a copy of all the reports on the accident we have so far."

"Again, Rick I'm sorry. Thank you." Alex said as she took the folder and looked at the papers inside of it. "Were there any witnesses?"

"No one has come forward. We've been over the scene with a fine tooth comb Alex; we can't find any cause for the accident. We're still waiting on labs from the pickup."

"Is there any way we can honestly say he just fell asleep at the wheel?" Alex asked, knowing in her heart that was impossible, not at two in the afternoon. But right now explanations were wanted.

"I just don't know. From the looks at the scene…either that or he intentionally drove into that tree."

"NO! Rick, you know dad, there is no way he would have done that. Not in a million years." Alex said with frustration in her voice. "Look, I need to get back inside. Thank you for this Rick. I'll make sure you don't regret doing this. You'll come back later?" She asked, as the weariness and need for someone to just be with her started to show.

"You know better than to ask that. I'm here as long as you are." Rick answered, as he hugged her. Alex brushed the tears from her eyes, squared her shoulders, and mentally prepared herself to again to be with her father. "I'll see you soon then. Be safe out there." Alex opened the car door and slowly made her way back to the hospital.

CHAPTER 9

Lisa drove up to the terminal where Renee stood waiting. With the first look she got of her friend, she could tell something was different. She didn't say anything about what she saw, she just smiled and got out of the car, opened the trunk took her friends bags and hugged her tight.

"Are you alright?" She asked as she pulled back and looked into Renee's eyes.

"I'm fine Lisa, just tired."

"Okay." She said as she opened the door for Renee. Closing it, she went around to the driver side and got in. Starting the car, she asked, "Have you heard anything on your new friend's dad?"

"No, not a thing, and it worries me." Renee said as she tried not to think the worst. Her head told here there were a million reasons for not having heard anything yet. She really tried to ignore the voice that was saying, 'You haven't heard anything because you aren't important to Alex, and you're the last person she would want to have to deal with at a time like this.'

"Well, you know what they say about no news being good news. Did you want to come over to the house for a little bit? Eva is dying to ask you about your little trip." Lisa said as she tried to lighten the mood.

"Hm, as tempting as the thought of being grilled by Eva is, I think I'll have you drop me off at home. I'll come by later tonight if that's okay."

"That's good, are you going to need a ride?" Lisa asked.

"No, I don't think so. I'll talk to mom about borrowing one of her cars. If I can't I'll give you a call." Renee answered. The two caught up a little as they made their way to Renee's apartment. As they pulled up to the entrance, Lisa said, "Okay make sure you call if you need a ride. I don't want to have to deal with Eva if you don't show up."

"What can't you handle the hot Spanish blooded honey you have?" Renee laughed.

"Not when she is pissed off no." Lisa answered.

"Okay just to save you, I'll call if I need. I'll see you both later." Renee said through laughter. Lisa popped the trunk and Renee grabbed her bags. As she shut the trunk she knocked on it and waved at Lisa. She moved towards the entrance of her apartment building and Lisa took off.

Renee walked around her room unpacking her bags with one hand while she held the phone and talked or rather at the moment, listened to her mother. Needless to say mom wasn't happy that her middle child had just spent the last few days with a complete stranger in the middle of a snow covered mountain, with her car who knows where.

"Mom, really I', fine. My ankle is much better and Alex was nothing but kind, considering I just dropping into her lap in the middle of the night."

"Yes Renee…but the fact remains that you don't know her from Adam. Sweetheart, you just never know what kind of people are out there anymore." Her mom went on.

"Mom…Alex…you just have to meet her, there is no way she could harm a fly." Renee said as she thought about the threat she over heard Alex make to Diane. 'Well, Diane isn't a fly now is she? She is a lowdown conniving wench who deserves to be…' "I'm sorry, what did you say mom?"

"I was asking if you needed me to go get you so you can get the car. Your father won't be home till late tonight otherwise we would just take it to you."

"Yes, if you don't mind. I wasn't sure you were home so I sent Lisa home; I didn't want her to have wait on me if she didn't have to. Okay great then, I'll be waiting for you then. And mom, thank you." Renee finished saying to her mom who said she would be there shortly.

'I wonder how Alex is doing…how her dad is. Surely she has had some news by now, after all it's been a couple of hours.' "Relax, Renee she will call when she gets a chance." She told herself, as she went about straightening up the living room, trying to keep herself busy, until her mom showed up.

'Back to waiting for more tests,' Alex thought, this is ridiculous. 'How many damned tests do they need to run before they have any damned answers. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she could swear that her father was getting some of his color back. Or maybe it was just that she had been staring at him in this damned hospital lighting for the last four hours, and nothing had changed but her perceptions.

Reaching over to take his hand into hers she quietly said, "Dad, I'll be back in a few minutes. I need to stretch my legs and see if I can find some decent coffee. I'd offer to bring you some, but I think you have enough stuff being forced into you don't you think. I'll be back soon, don't you go anywhere and leave them nurses alone." Alex stood and walked wearily to the door and walked out into the hallway. Taking a few steps she stopped and leaned a shoulder against the wall. She was tired, tired of waiting for results that told nothing, tired of waiting for her dad to just wake up, tired…just tired. Last night was a long night, and seemed like such a long time ago, could it have only been little over 6 hours ago that she had last seen Renee? She pulled herself together and continued down the hall towards the elevator that would take her to the cafeteria. As she rode down, she thought of the previous night, of holding Renee in her arms. God she felt good. She should call her, let her know that she was thinking of her and hadn't forgotten to call her…hell she just wanted to hear her voice. As she walked up to the counter, she got her coffee and a donut, paid for it then found a table off in the corner where she could have some privacy. She pulled out her cell phone turned it on and found the piece of paper where Renee had written down her phone numbers, and dialed. The phone was ringing…

Renee was just about to walk out the door with her mom when the phone rang. Damn, she debated on just walking out the door but just couldn't. Looking at her mom she said "I'm sorry I won't be long." "Hello."

"Hi, it's me Alex." Alex said into the phone as she smiled at hearing the soft voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi! I was hoping you would call." Renee said excitedly as she smiled into the phone.

"I'm sorry I haven't called before now. I've just been spending as much time with dad as I can, talking to doctors…I think I'm going crazy." Alex said as she started to relax for the first time since she left the little blondes side earlier that day.

"How is your dad hun?" Renee asked with concern in her voice.

"No change. They are still running him to this test or that test, and not a one is telling me anything I really need to know."

"I'm so sorry, I wish there was something I could say." Renee replied. She hated that she didn't know what to say and that she wasn't with the one person she want to be with, Alex.

"I need to get back; I just came down for a cup of coffee and decided to call you. I hope I didn't interrupt you or anything."

"No, not at all I was just actually about to leave with mom, she is loaning me her car."

"Oh, why didn't you say so? "I'll let you go. You should have told me she was waiting on you." Alex rushed her words.

"Alex, Baby, deep breath. It's okay really. I'm glad you called. I've been waiting for what seems like all day." She said with a smile.

"Really…you've been waiting for me to call?" Alex asked.

"Yes, really you silly goof." Renee answered. Alex smiled too; it made her feel good that Renee had wanted to hear from her. "Well, I need to go, and you need to go so I should say goodbye. Maybe if it's not too late I can call later?" Alex asked shyly.

"I would like that very much. Call whatever time you want or can. Alex, I'm…I just wanted to tell you that both you and your dad are in my prayers. I'll talk to you later tonight." Renee smiled on last time as she thought of the tall beautiful woman on the other end of the line.

"So, that was your new friend huh? She makes you smile a lot. I think I may like her after all." Was all Renee's mom said as she stood up and walked to the door.

"Yes…yes she does." Renee realized, "I'm sorry you had to wait mom."

"Hm, I'm glad I did, I believe I want to know more about this Alex person now."

'Oh God, mom…please…" Renee started. The two ladies spent the rest of the afternoon talking about this and that, with mom trying to pry information from Renee about Alex. And when Maria, her mom and dads housekeeper, found out there was a new person in Renee's life, well she did her best to help pry.

Alex slowly made her way back up to the ICU and where her dad was. She hated this part, all the worrying, the waiting…the feeling useless. It was one of the very few times she wished she had a mom, or siblings to share this with. 'No not going to think about her. The bitch can lay dead in a ditch somewhere for all I care.' She always thought to herself on those rare occasions, when thought of her mom popped into her head. She was busy telling herself she didn't need to know where the woman was, nor did her dad, and she didn't notice the dark haired woman that was waiting outside the door to the room her dad was in. When she did look up she stopped dead in her tracks. Squaring her shoulders, and wiping away any trace of emotion from her face, she again started to walk towards her father's door. The closer she to the door and the woman standing there, the more the mask she tried to put on cracked, the more the fear deep inside her reached up and grabbed her. By the time she reached the door, all she could do was fall into the arms that were held open, waiting for her. The arms closed tight around her, and the soft voice whispered in her ear that it was okay to let go now, that Alex didn't need to be strong for a few minutes, and for the first time since her night mare she cried…really cried.

The nurses who had spent the day with the tall woman, nodded and gratefully smiled at the woman for what she was doing. The had seen people who had no one but the person they were here with, and when they let it out…it was…there was just to many pieces to pick up back up. They had hoped Alex was one that would be totally lost.

"What are you doing here, why? Thank God you're here Sammy."

Samantha smiled before she answered, "The answer to what is, I'm here supporting someone very special to me, and the why is because well this is where I belong right now. Family Alex, you're family, Baby."

"Have you seen dad? Did they let you in?"

"Actually I didn't try…I didn't see you in with him so I decided to wait for you."

"Come on then sweetie. Let's go see dad." Alex said as she pulled herself together, grabbed Samantha's hand and walked to the door to her father's room. The nurse at the nurse's station was new and went to tell them that only family was allowed in, stopped short when the ice blue eyes turned on her. "Jesus Alexandria, give her a break." Samantha whispered in her ear. "God…" Alex muttered, then turned to the nurse and said, "Sorry she is my sister and we're going in to see dad okay."

"Hi dad, I'm back. Sorry I took so long, especially when you consider the coffee wasn't even that good. Did you behave for the nurses? I saw when I walked up we have a new one…honestly she looks like a bitch, so I'd stay away from her." The soft cough behind her held a little laugh, and she continued, "You will never guess who I found wandering the hall, its Sammy dad. Wake up and say hi to her. Come dad, just open your eyes. Please."

Samantha walked up behind Alex and rubbed her hand up and down her back, while she said, "Hi dad, I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to come see you, but…you know how it is, sometimes life just gets in the way. I know Alex wants you to wake up now, but I know you need to sleep a little more, so I'm going to make a deal with you. I'll keep this one under control, but you have to wake up tomorrow sometime, or the day after. Deal?", as soon as she said that she leaned over and kiss his cheek. She turned to Alex and asked "Has there been any change at all?"

"None that they can see, I look at him and think maybe his color is looking better, but then maybe it's just the damned lighting in here. The tests aren't showing much of anything, so they say. I know they come in and take him for this test or that bring him back and we wait." Alex answered.

"I see. When was the last time you had anything to eat? And don't bother lying to me, I from what Rick has told me you haven't left his side since you got here at 7 this morning except for a few minutes at a time."

"I grabbed a sandwich earlier and a donut with my coffee." Alex answered, trying to defend herself.

"Uh huh…and is this the sandwich you grabbed earlier? Samantha asked as she pointed to a plate that held two sections of a sandwich, one which had a corner bitten off. "I'll bet the donut was pretty much in the same condition as the sandwich, if not better when you tossed it. Right?"

"Don't start Sammy. I'm not hungry."

"Oh, Baby you know I haven't even begun to start." Samantha said with a smile. "See dad? Already she is giving me lip. What did you do go and let her forget all the things I taught her? Yeah, I know not fair to pick on you right, okay but its no holds barred when your better you hear."

To Alex she said, "This is no way to take care of yourself and you know it. Dad is going to need you strong and healthy when all is said and done. Now, you will not argue with me do you understand. We, as in you and I, are going to say good night to dad and we are going to go have a good healthy meal and relax a little. Then I'm going to take you home and you're going to get some sleep,"

"No Samantha I can't dad…you know that. What are you thinking?" Alex started to argue. Then Dr. Brennan decided to drop in and check on his patient just the. "Dr Brennan, Tell her I can't leave dad, tell her there is now way."

The doctor looked from Samantha, to Alex then back to Samantha, and calmly said. "Actually, I believe it's a very excellent idea. I believe it's a good time for you to go home takes some time and relax, take sometime for you to unwind. Now wait…"he said as Alex started to argue "I just looked at the scan we took of his brain. It's looking good, the swelling hasn't gone up which is what we were really concerned about, his vitals have been stable all afternoon, and in fact getting strong by the hour. So I don't see why you can't leave for a nice later night dinner, get a hot shower it will be good for you. You dad is turning the corner."

Samantha kept on… "Come on nice dinner, relax then a nice hot show and soft warm bed, I'll bring you back first thing in the morning.

Alex gave up… okay but if ANYTHNG happens I better be called."

"You got it Ms Kincaid. Please don't worry, he will be fine."

Still not certain, Alex took her time getting her jacket and things, she walked up to her dad whispered in his ear, "I'll be back first thing in the morning so don't you dare leave me. I love you." And kisses he cheek. Then she stood up and nodded her head to Sammy who gave her a reassuring smile and reached for her hand. Together they walked out of the hospital room and then the hospital.

CHAPTER 10

It was close to seven that night when Renee pulled into her friend's driveway. She was both eager to see Lisa and Eva again, but completely not ready for the questions she knew Eva had for her. Before she even out of the car, the front door had opened and Eva was running out with a big smile on her face.

"You're back! What did you think you were doing taking off like that Chica?" Eva asked as she pulled Renee into a big hug. Renee hugged her back as she laughingly answered, "I had to get away; you were trying to set me up again!"

"Si, yo se, but I thought she was perfect you, and yes I know I didn't listen to Lisa either. She told me you wouldn't appreciate my efforts." Eva laughed, "come on inside, we have chips and salsa and margaritas waiting and dinner will be ready in a little bit."

"Wow, I forgot what it meant to come over to visit you two!" Renee said as they walked into the house and started to smell the wonderful scents that were drifting in from the kitchen. At that moment Lisa walked in from the kitchen with an apron on, and as Renee started to laugh she said, "Not a one word…and I mean it." and that, made Renee laugh even louder.

"Aw, but you look so cute… I don't think I have ever seen you in an apron before. It looks good on you!" She said as she walked up to Lisa and hugged her.

"Yeah, I'll show you cute." Lisa whispered in her ear.

"Hey you, there will be no whispering things into another woman's ear." Eva said with a smile, followed with "Que Paso en mi cocina, mi amour?"

"I ruined the rice, that's what happened." Lisa answered, as she followed Eva into the kitchen, with Renee right behind them.

"Hm, what didn't you do right, mi amour, its not that hard to make Spanish rice…rather it shouldn't be considering you only grew up in a Spanish house, with Spanish people." Eva walked to the stove and looked into the pan that sat there. "Dios mio…go. I'll finish dinner. I'm surprised you didn't burn the house down. I left you for three minutes! How can anyone make such a mess in three minutes?" She asked no one in particular.

"Shh, just calmly leave the kitchen and all will be fine." Lisa was quietly telling Renee as she backed out of the kitchen door.

"Hey, don't go thinking you're just going to leave and drink all the Margaritas…you can go but bring me one. If I have to finish dinner the least you can do is make sure I'm nice and relaxed as I do so." Eva shouted to the two.

"It's coming right up my love." Eva shouted right back as once again Renee laughed, she truly did enjoy being around her two friends.

Soon the two friends we sitting in the den talking and catching up on things as they enjoyed the drinks. With in ten minutes, Eva had joined them with the tray of chips and salsa she had promised earlier. As she got a refill on her drink, she said to Renee, "Okay, you've had long enough; it's time you tell me about this woman you spent the last few days with. All I could get out of this one was, "She has a glow to her." And it seems she was right about that too."

"I told you…"

So Renee started to fill her friends in on the last few days. "Wow, talk about an adventure. This woman has made quite an impression on you."

"What, she was very nice and hospitable considering I'm pretty sure I just dropped in on her doorstep when she obviously wanted to be alone. If that impresses me than I guess she did." Eva and Lisa both laughed, and then Eva explained, "Chica, you haven't stopped to take a breath the entire time you were telling us about her. You can't stop smiling and yes Lisa was very right about that glow."

"Oh please, you're both crazy!" Renee said as she blushed.

"Uh huh and the Pope is Jewish. Just admit it, cupid's arrow found hour heart this time!"

"Eva is dinner ready yet…I'm starved and something smells wonderful." Renee said in an effort to change the subject.

"Yes, dinner is ready. But don't think your off the hook, we aren't through discussing Ms. Alex." Her host said as she stood up. The three walked to the dining room laughing and joking as they went. The table was set with plates, and big bowls filled with either rice or chili, a platter with chile rellenos, enchiladas and tacos.

"Wow, this a party or what…there is so much food here! Renee commented but secretly loved the fact. Since she knew when she left she would have plenty of containers going home with her.

"You know much Lisa eats, I just wanted to make sure had a chance to eat too." Eva said as she nudged Renee so that they could both watch as Lisa filled her plate. Only when the two cracked up laughing, did Lisa look up from her task.

"Oh stop it," she said when she caught on, "you know I can't help myself when it comes to your cooking. I'm surprised I don't weigh a ton."

"So are we!" the other two said in unison and the three laughed until they cried.

Renee only got Lisa and Renee to stop grilling her about Alex, because she said she had to leave, and then it was only with a promise that they would get together again soon. Loaded with an armful of goodies, she finally headed out to her car. Since it was close to eleven pm there was little traffic, and the drive to her apartment was nice and quiet, with only the soft hum of the radio and thoughts of Alex to keep her company. Once home, she put everything in the refrigerator, and got ready for bed. As she lay in bed staring at her ceiling she quietly said, "I hope your dad is fine. Good night, sweetheart." And she drifted off to sleep.

CHAPTER 11

Back in Denver, Alex was sitting in a restaurant with Samantha, the only woman she had ever really loved and given her heart to, and missing Renee with an intensity she hadn't felt since… well since Samantha. Samantha finally asked, "Have you called her yet?"

"Called who?" Alex asked trying to act normal.

"The woman who has you a million miles away on those rare occasions when your dad isn't on your mind." Samantha said with a small smile.

Alex moved around the seat uncomfortably. Talking to an ex love about a new love, especially when the ex love was her first love, was not her idea of fun. "Uh, what makes you think there's someone?" She asked instead of answering.

"Oh please, I know you better than you know yourself Alex. Tell me about her."

"Um, there really isn't much to say right now."

"Alex, come on, for the first time in a long time there is a sparkle in your eye, and there's a bounce in your step. I'm happy you finally met someone. It's about time." Samantha said with all sincerity

"Sammy…are, you truly happy?" The blue eyed woman asked.

Yes Al, I am. It's kind of funny but Brenda is a lot like you in many ways. She is loud and opinionated, always assumes she is right." Samantha laughed and continued, "strong, caring, protective, has a great sense of humor…she does love me Al."

"She's a keeper huh. God I was stupid."

"Baby, you had your reasons, your fears…we've hurt because of them, we've dealt with them and we're back to being the best of friends isn't that worth something. I want you happy, I want you to have what Brenda and I have. And something is telling me maybe you met someone that maybe able to do that. Tell me about her; don't make me drag it out of you."

"You know sometimes I wish you didn't know me so well." Alex responded with a smile as she sat back. "I was up at the cabin this weekend, minding my own business, trying to get things straight in my mind, you know…and Bo hears something outside in the storm that was raging. I opened the door and he takes off like the hounds of hell are after him, and when I catch up to him, he has this woman pinned to the ground, with the snow burying us."

"Hm, getting things straight in your head…translates to: you were trying to figure out why you were going through another break up with the woman of the month, or trying to decide if it was time to move on. Yes I've kept tabs on you through Rick, I'm sorry." Samantha said quietly.

"Why? Why would you want to keep tabs on me?" Alex asked surprised.

"Started out as me hoping that somewhere, somehow maybe we would both be single at the same time and maybe work things out…then I guess I grew up and realized you didn't know what you wanted. Eventually I realized we were on different paths and I met Brenda."

"Ever wonder why we never reconnected again? Poor Rick, we had him in a bad spot…both of us. He was my pipeline to information on you."

"Rick's a big boy he can handle us." Samantha said as she thought of her brother. "Now finish telling me about the woman in the snow."

"Her name is Renee. After I got Bo off of her, we found out she had hurt her ankle, so I carried her in. Sammy, she is beautiful…has a temper let me tell you." Alex laughed, "With her ankle injured I couldn't let her walk to the cabin right, I mean it was a good 100, 150 yards away…so I picked her up to carry her in. I guess I should have told her my plans because she came unglued! She asked me what I thought I was doing and if I made a habit of manhandling women I just met." Alex continued.

"Okay, and do you?" Samantha asked just to tease her friend.

"Ha-ha. Sammy, you and I have always been close and able to talk, but that's because we grew up together isn't it? With Renee I feel like I've known her my whole life, or longer. I'm that comfortable with her."

"Wow, seems like cupids arrow found you." Samantha said quietly, a distant look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Alex said just as quietly, feeling as though she said something to hurt the woman who sat across from her.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong. Al, we've been over this before. When we were together you just weren't ready to make the kind of commitment either of us wanted. I know you wanted to Sweetie, and I know there was nothing that would have made me happier, but things happen and we grow from them and move on. It's looking like you're finally ready to move on now. I'm happy for you. I was worried about you." Samantha said as she reached across the table to take Alex's hand in hers.

"I never meant to hurt you like I did."

"I know Sweetheart; I also know that I wasn't the only one hurting. I could see it in your eyes. I just didn't know how to deal with your pain and mine. Everything I did just seemed to make it worse. My point is now…I look into your eyes and I see a sparkle, something I haven't seen in a very long time. So what do you say I get you home, it's been a long day for you." Samantha said.

"Yes it has, and since I seriously doubt that you would take me to the hospital, I suppose home is a good place to go." Alex answered as she stood and moved toward the back of her friend's chair. With the check paid, Alex opened the door allowing Samantha to exit in front of her. As the two walked down the side walk towards Samantha's car, Alex reached for the other woman's hand. Alex walked towards the drivers' side door and opened it, then allowed Samantha to slide inside, and then she made her way to the passenger side and got in. The drive to Alex's apartment was quiet, with both women lost in thought. Once they arrived at their destination, Samantha put the car in park and the made arrangements for her to return in the morning to take Alex back to the hospital. With that done, Alex leaned over and placed a kiss on Samantha's warm cheek. She got out of the car and watched as her dear friend drove away, the turned and walked to the entrance of her apartment building. She never noticed the shadow watching them from across the street.

Inside Alex looked at the clock, "Damn It's late. I wonder if Renee is already asleep…shit I wanted to call her." She said to herself. Deciding to take a chance she picked up the phone and dialed the number she looked at from the paper Renee had given her earlier that morning.

"Hello." The sleepy voice said over the line.

"Hi, I guess I should have waited till morning to call. I'm sorry I woke you." Alex said as she sat back in bed and pictured the little blonde.

"Alex!" Was the happy response from Renee as she came awake to the sound of Alex's voice. "Don't worry about it I'm glad you called. How's your dad?"

"He is stable, still in a coma, but the doctor says the swelling looks to be going down, so that is a big plus. Look, I'm sorry I woke you…I just wanted to hear your voice."

"It's okay really; I wanted to hear yours too. I'm glad to hear your dad is stable too. So did you just get home?"

"Yes, Sammy showed up at the hospital and decided I needed to get out of there so she took me out to dinner and just dropped me off."

"Good, I hope you were able to stop worrying for a few hours." Renee said as she tried to keep the jealousy out of her voice.

"Yes I did, Sammy is good at relaxing me. What did you do tonight?"

"I spent the evening with Lisa and Eva."

"Ah, the famous match makers. Did you have fun?"

"I did yes. Eva is a great cook, and well Lisa does know how to make a person laugh and feel welcomed. We had a good time catching up."

"Renee…I would have much rather spent the evening with you." Alex said, hating the hurt she heard in Renee's voice even though she tried to hide it.

"I know I would much rather have spent mine with you." Renee answered.

"It's late, I should let you go back to sleep. I'll call you in the morning?"

"Okay and yes I would love to hear from you in the morning." Renee said with a smile.

"Okay then its set…I'll call first thing. Sleep well beautiful."

"Alex, call me if anything happens with your dad…no matter what time of day or night."

"I will. Good night Renee."

"Good night Sweetheart." With a smile on both ends of the line the two hung up the phone, then each lay back in bed and drifted off to sleep.

Waking before the sun rose; Alex dressed for her morning workout. It was typical of her to work out at least thirty minutes a day, unless she was in the mountains and even then she was normally outside running with Bo or hiking or something that would take place of her normal indoor workouts. This morning she made her way to the small gym in her building, hoping she would be the only one there this early. Getting her wish, she smiled as she walked into the empty room straight to the mat and stated her stretches, before she went to work on the heavy punching bag, and some of her Karate kicks and jabs. An hour later she walked out of the room sweaty and exhilarated. She headed for her apartment and a nice hot shower, before heading to the hospital. As she walked into the apartment she grabbed the phone and dialed the number to Renee's place. She couldn't wait to hear the blondes' voice and pictured her smile and sparkling green eyes. While she waited for the phone to be picked up on the other end she got her coffee maker going.

"Good morning, Sweetheart." Was the reply from the sleepy voice on the other end of the line.

"Good morning Babe, how did you sleep?" Alex asked as she walked around her room getting her clothes ready for the day.

"Like a baby. How about you, did you sleep ok?"

"Fell asleep as soon as we said good night. Although I did feel like something was missing. Its funny how quickly I got use to having you around."

"I know the feeling; I'm kind of missing morning coffee with you and Bo. How's your dad, have you heard anything?"

"No, I haven't. I got up had my work out, came in and called you. I'm waiting for my coffee and heading for the shower before Sammy gets here, to take me to the hospital."

"Oh, I see. In that case I should let you go shower so you can be ready."

"No, I still have time…oh shoot, I guess I don't." Alex stated as she looked at the clock and realized she had to run. "I'm sorry; I'll call you tonight okay."

"It's not a problem talk to you later." Renee said as a good bye.

Alex hung up and rushed to the shower, completely missing the sudden change in Renee's mood at the mention of Samantha's name.

"Well, at least she didn't spend the night there. Renee said to no on as she punched her pillow. "Big deal so she didn't spend the night with Alex, she is still there…crap." She spat as she got up and headed for her shower.

CHAPTER 12

Alex had just walked out of the bedroom when the door bell rang. Unlocking it and opening the door she stood aside as Samantha walked in.

"Good morning Sweetie."

"Good morning, want a cup of coffee before we head off?

"Sure that sounds good. How was your night after I dropped you off?"

"It was good; I made a phone call and then dropped right off to sleep. How about yours? Hope Brenda wasn't upset that you spent the evening with me.

Laughing, Samantha replied, "Don't worry about Brenda, she is fine with me being with you. Besides she is away at some meeting for a client right now. And yes, she knows I was with you last night and about your dad so relax."

"Okay I just…I can see that you really love her and I don't want to cause you any trouble. I know how some women are about ex's."

"Brenda isn't like most women…and I'm not just an ex. She realizes that we have a very long history and that it wasn't just a romantic one. If she forgets, trust me Rick or Pops is there to remind her otherwise. Yes the topic of you and our friendship has come up on more than one occasion. Plus she doesn't like having to deal with me when she has pissed me off."

"Yeah, I remember not liking to have to do that either." Alex answered, "What do you mean the topic of you and me has popped up more than once?" she asked.

"Well we're all together and either Rick or Pops will comment about some memory having to do with you and…well. Alex, Brenda has had some big shoes to fill where you're concerned."

"I didn't mean…"

"Let it go Al, it happened its over."

"Hm, big shoes huh…didn't think they were that big." Alex said, getting a laugh out of the other woman.

"So are you ready to head to the hospital Babe?" Samantha asked with a smile.

"Yes, I'm anxious to see how dad did over night."? Alex answered as she went to the closet for her jacket. Samantha watched her closely as she slipped the jacket on.

"Alex, Baby, are you okay?"

"Sure, I'm fine."

"No you aren't. Come on talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?" Samantha pushed, "And before you say you're fine, remember I know you very well and know when you're lying to me."

Alex hesitated for a bit before she replied, "God I hate that you know me so well."

"Come on sit down and talk to me. Dad isn't going anywhere, and whatever is bugging you, I guarantee you he can sense, and it isn't helping him any."

"Do you always have to be right?" "Yes actually I do. What's up?" And with that Alex gave up, slipped off her jacket and sat down. Samantha followed suit, and patiently waited for Alex to speak.

"Have you talked to Rick since the accident?" Alex started.

"No, he called me as soon as he heard, then after he saw you at the hospital yesterday morning. But we haven't talked about the investigation; you know he can't do that. Why?"

"Can't and don't are two different things. Cops talk to family about things, we have to or we'd go crazy. Something just doesn't feel right. Sammy, you know dad. When have you ever known him to get behind the wheel when he is too tired to drive?"

"Never, but Alex it happens."

"I know it does, but this…I don't know what it is but there's just something that isn't sitting right with me. I can't shake this feeling I have."

"What feeling, honey?" Samantha asked trying to understand.

"I wish I could explain it, I can't, and I can't make sense of it either." Alex answered the frustration evident in her voice. "Come on…I want to get to the hospital and see about dad."

"Sure Sweetheart, if you're ready." Alex stood and waited until Samantha stood then followed her out the door. Together they walked to the car; neither of them noticed the figure that stood across the street watching them.

The drive to the hospital was quiet and comfortable, and took longer than expected with the traffic. At on of the stop lights, as they waited Samantha asked Alex, "Does Rick have anything that supports your feeling about the accident?"

"No, that's part of what is making this so frustrating." Alex replied, as Samantha nodded her head and pulled away from the light, and within a few minutes they were pulling up to the hospital. They had just entered the elevator when Alex's cell phone went off, and then she lost service. Not wanting to deal with anyone at the moment and knowing she was just about to stop on her dad's floor, she just shut the phone off. She would deal with whoever it was later.

"Good morning Patty, how is he this morning?" She asked the nurse who was standing beside her father.

"Good morning Alex. You know you really should be asking his Dr. not me, but I can tell you that from what I can see it was quiet last night and he had no problems, so that's a good sign." The nurse replied with a smile that was aimed right at the raven haired woman. Samantha who was standing behind Alex rolled her eyes, and muttered under her breath, "God, don't they ever stop." Alex turned and asked, "Did you say something Sammy?"

"What? No, I didn't say anything."

"Are you sure, I could have sworn I heard you say something."

The nurse finished writing her notes in the chart and made a special effort to touch Alex's arm as she said, "I know I shouldn't say anything, but I think your dad has turned the corner."

"Thank you for everything you've done for him Patty. It means a lot to me…to us."

With that the nurses smile grew bigger and she said, "It's my job Alex, but I'm glad I was her to help." And with that she left the room.

"Oh my god, do they ever stop? Hm 'It's my job, I'm glad I was here to help', please." Samantha mimicked the nurse. Alex looked at her friend with and amused smile and commented, "Careful there Sweetie, one might think you're a tad jealous."

"Jealous…Um no, it's juts that…God Al." Samantha said as she thought about her reaction and blushed a bit. 'NO, no way am I even a tad bit jealous.' She thought to herself, and was about to tell Alex that when the door opened and the Dr walked in.

"Well, good morning Alex, you look well rested. I'm glad you were able to get her out of here, and hopefully you got her to eat a decent meal as well." He added as he took in the statuesque beauty that was Samantha. "She certainly looks a sight better this morning." He added with a smile.

Some habits die hard and Alex felt one of her old ones rearing its ugly head, and with out really thinking about or meaning to, she snapped, "God, okay yes she got me a decent meal and then took me home, I slept like a baby and now I'm here to see how my father is doing. Do you have any new information for me at all or are you just here to ogle my friend?"

Both the doctor and Samantha looked stunned and the doctor cleared his throat and picked up the chart as he began talking. "So I'm assuming since you friend is here that it's okay for me to speak freely in front of her correct." When she nodded, Dr Brennan began going over the chart and the new information. "His vitals are good and strong, last night passed with no problems. We are taking him down for another CAT scan in a few minutes, will know more when we get those results. I can tell you he is looking better than he did yesterday at this time, his color is returning and that's a good sign. Keep talking to him, let him know you're here, that's the best thing I can tell you to do."

"It's just so hard sometimes; I keep expecting him to answer me. Does he even know we're here talking to him?" Alex asked.

"In all honestly, we can't tell what he knows or hears. The brain is a very complex organ and we don't have all the answers. I can tell you that it has been my experience that some patients in a coma do come out of it and tell us they heard every thing that was going on around them. So just keep letting him know he isn't alone."

"Thank you Dr. Brennan.

"Not a problem. I'll be back with the latest results as soon I have them." And he walked out of the room.

Both Alex and Samantha looked over at the man lying in the bed. Samantha was the first to speak. "Dr Brennan is right, his color is coming back. Do you hear that dad, you looking better every minute. So that means you can't just lay around here making us worry about you. I for on know that Alex needs you around. You know what kind of trouble she can get into."

"Don't let her fool you dad, she doesn't have a clue any more. Remember I've grown up. Bu she is right about one thing I do still need you around. Dad…please open you eyes." The two pulled up chairs and sat and talked to the silent figure in the bed just telling stories and remembering things from their earlier years. After about twenty minutes two orderlies appeared and carefully transported him to the Imaging center of the hospital

"Want to go get some truly lousy coffee?" Alex asked her companion.

"Sure." And together they walked to the elevator and rode down to the cafeteria.

"Alex,…ogle…you thought the Dr was OGLING me?"

Again Alex instantly reacted to the thought of the good Doctor looking at Samantha as he had. "Yes he was." Her answer a bit sharper than she intended.

"Whoa there…down girl.." Samantha teased. "Not jealous or anything are we?" she continued.

"Ok, lil Ms "Oh my god Don't the ever stop."

"Yes well…some habits die hard. That was one that always got to me. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing, there were always woman falling all over themselves just for your attention." Didn't matter that I was on your arm or that I was shooting daggers at the m they still looked at you like you were chocolate cake with fudge icing."

"Really…I never noticed. I guess."

"You're kidding me…you never noticed? How could not have noticed?"

"No I didn't."

"How could you not notice?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Yes I do. I mean women are throwing themselves at you and you don't notice. I want to know why."

"I was already with the most beautiful woman there, that's why."

"No, seriously I want to know."

"Seriously Sammy that was why. When I was with you no one else could hold a candle to you."

"Then why…no never mind. I'm over it doesn't matter."

"I does matter Sammy, and Sammy you know why. If I had stayed we would have hurt a lot more, and ended up hating each other. You have a good life now, a woman that, from what I hear loves you more than life its self and isn't afraid to go with it. And I see how much you love her. It shows in your eyes when you talk about her."

"Yes I have a good life and I adore Brenda, it's just…damn it Alex we were good together, we had it all, could have been perfect. It took me a long time to get over you."

"But you did get over me Sammy."

"I still… still don't understand how you can't notice women throwing themselves at you all the time."

"Maybe we should head back up and see if dad is back yet."

"Yeah, maybe they will have some damned answers.

CHAPTER 13

. Renee's morning and mood only got worse after her talk with Alex; of course it didn't her that her head was at war with her heart. One was saying that she was a fool if she honestly thought nothing was going on between Alex and Samantha. And the other saying that she was just over reacting and just needed to relax. Easier said than done though, when she couldn't get a certain woman out of her mind and said certain woman was with the one that got away. 'Oh get over it Renee, face it you were just another body there when she needed.' She told herself as she slammed her coffee mug on the desk

"Easy there Tiger, might want to take it easy on company property you know." Came the deep voice behind her.

"Bite me Dylan." Came her own response.

"Oh my, someone has their panties in a twist. What's up doll?"

"Nothing, I'm just a bad mood. I'm sorry didn't mean to take it out on you." Renee said apologizing.

"Sweetheart what's up, you don't usually let things get to you much less are you ever in a bad mood. And may I also add that you have never in your ever lovin mind muttered those words to me."

"There's a reason for that you know."

"What gives?" Dylan asked as he pulled up a char from a near by desk. "Last time I saw you, you were off to my Cabin for a nice quiet week away from meddling friends." He continued in a more serious tone.

"Yes, that I was…funny how one wrong turn can totally change a person and their perspective don't you think."

"Um yes I Suppose it can do that to a person. Would you like to fill me in on just what in the hell you're talking about because honestly Babe, I'm lost. You left here Thursday evening with the keys to my cabin, in a very decent mood I might add…and here you are only a few days later, and when I say a few I mean what three days later? You were supposed to be up there a week. What happened?"

"Nothing much really, I took a wrong turn, almost drove myself of a fifty foot drop straight into the river down below if I'm to believe certain people., I twisted my ankle, and spent the last three days of my stay on the mountain with a wonderful named Alex, who I think I may have fallen in love with…what am I say, I spent my entire stay on the mountain with her and god help me I did fall in love with her. We had a great time right up until she had to dash off because her father was involved in a serious accident. End of story…well okay would be if Said Alex hadn't wormed her way into my heart and then take up with her one great love."

"Ouch…no wait a minute are you talking about Alexandria Kincaid?"

"Yes, do you know her? Renee asked her spirits lifting and getting excited just at the thought that someone might know Alex and she could pump some information from them."

Alexandria…tall, dark long flowing raven hair, almost Amazon looking woman…you stayed with her?"

"Yes I stayed with her. Am I speaking German here?"

"I would have thought freezing in my car would have been preferable than to be stuck in a room with the real Ice Queen.'

"We aren't talking about the same person here. She was nothing but kind and hospitable, considering the fact that I literally feel into her arms."

"Let me out it to you this way, Alex Kincaid, is a cold hearted, self absorbed bitch. The fact that she opened the door to you in the first place amazes, the fact that she helped you at all amazes me." Dylan answered.

Renee was totally shocked when she heard the Dylan was talking about the woman who would not leave her thoughts. "What the hell are you talking about; we can't possibly be talking about the same woman here." She said, her voice becoming defensive.

"Renee, tell me you didn't sleep with her."

"Why, would that be so wrong?" Renee asked quietly.

"No I suppose not. Look it's great as long as both parties know the score and no one gets hurt. In her case, she doesn't care if both parties know the score; she goes after what she wants and has no consideration for the other person's feelings and in my book that's wrong, end of story.

"So can I assume you're going to tell me who ended up with hurt feelings?"

"Yes, one of my cousins. Long story short she met Alex Kincaid at some social function, one thing led to another and boom, Lacey ended up hurt."

"Some how I'm just not seeing…I can't reconcile the Ales I met three days ago with the one you're describing to me. There has to be some kind of misunderstanding." Renee stated with all the confidence she was able to muster. Which, considers what she had just heard wasn't a whole lot. 'God don't let me be wrong about her' she thought.

Continued...