~ Till There Was You ~
by S. Anne Gardner
Disclaimers: This story contains violence, adult situations, and same sex relationships, which at times are graphic. If this is not suitable for you, please don't read any further.
All characters found in this story are the creation of S. Anne Gardner and are her property exclusively.
Comments are appreciated. Please email your comments to sanneol7@aol.com.
Part Eight
Consuelo walked up to the car that had just pulled up an hour late.
Julia got out first then turned around and reached to assist Teddy out of the car.
Both women smiled at Consuelo.
"What took you so long? Get lost?"
"Sorry Connie," Julia said sheepishly.
Teddy began to blush the deepest shade of red Consuelo had ever seen.
"Ahhh…" was all Consuelo said as she stared them down.
She then burst out in laughter "I hope you have a better answer worked out if Mama asks or Teddy will surely die." She laughed harder than walked up to the two women and kissed them both hello.
Teddy met all of Consuelo's family who had all turned out to meet their beloved Julia. Julia laughed and joked. She would easily go from Spanish to English and in the course of the afternoon had become someone totally different. She was lighter hearted and seemed more carefree, she smiled more and seemed genuinely happy. For a brief moment Teddy had a brief insight into the Julia that she must have been in her younger days. They obviously loved her and it showed. What had happened to her to change her so much?
As the afternoon progressed Teddy began to realize that the woman she loved was ever so much more than she was aware of. So much had happened to them in such a short period of time; their meeting which had been tumultuous, the baby, Nicky and Sebastian getting married under the black cloud of her Cancer, Edward's trial, and yet their love had endured.
Teddy stood in front of the small pond not too far away from all the festivities and stared out into it pensively.
"A little overwhelmed?"
A voice said from behind her. Teddy turned around and smiled as she faced Consuelo and smiled.
Teddy looked towards Julia "Sometimes," she said without looking away.
"She seems happy. I want to thank you for that."
Teddy than turned towards Consuelo again and saw the emotion of those words reflected in the woman's eyes.
"I have to confess I see yet another woman today," Teddy said with a smile.
Consuelo smiled and both women looked towards Julia who was talking to Consuelo's daughters and laughing heartily.
"That's the Julia I knew years ago," Consuelo said in deep thought now.
"What changed things?" Teddy asked point blank as she turned to look at the woman next to her.
Consuelo looked towards Teddy and remained silent.
"Consuelo?"
"She realized that she could be hurt," Consuelo said sadly. "Everyone betrayed her."
"What happened?"
"Teddy…you should ask Julia herself." Consuelo began to look uncomfortable.
"Connie…." Teddy used the name that Julia used for her. " I love her. I hope someday you believe that."
Consuelo was taken aback by the frankness of the statement.
Teddy looked towards Julia again as she spoke. "Sometimes I feel I am jumping hoops for some one else's short comings," Teddy finished saying with a touch of sadness.
"She is worth the effort." Consuelo interjected defensively.
Teddy turned towards her again.
"She is worth everything," Teddy answered with conviction.
Consuelo looked down at the ground and kicked the grass with her right foot. She seemed to make up her mind about something then she took a deep breath.
"Her name was Pilar."
"Pilar?"
Consuelo nodded still looking straight ahead.
"Hey you two!"
Both women turned as Julia approached them.
"Hey yourself," responded Consuelo.
"Its time to get going if we are going into town for la fiesta,'" Julia said with a big smile on her face.
"The festival right?" Teddy asked with a smile.
"Yes, they are called Las Fiestas Patronales. They are local festivals and celebrations that take place in Spain. There are dancers dressed in folkloric costumes and lots of singing and music. It's a celebration of local customs and regions." Julia explained.
"Sounds wonderful!" Teddy said excitedly.
"Let's go then, you know Mama she has to be the first one there," Consuelo said and all three began laughing as they heard the Aragon matriarch calling for them.
When they drove into the town or Ordenes the colors and the music were simply wonderful. They walked from quiosco to quiosco and tried the local wines and the chorizo's. Julia never seemed happier.
"Julia it's all wonderful." Teddy said as she leaned closer into her lover.
"Its home to me Teddy. I had forgotten how happy I am here. I'm so glad to be able to share all this with you." Julia said with a smile that lit the heavens for Teddy's heart. "Thank you darling, thank you for coming with me."
For a week they went to the fiestas in all the surrounding small villages with or without Connie The last day of the fiestas the Aragon family hosted an event that traditionally had been patrocinado by the Aragon family for the past hundred years.
They were all seated on the grand stand except for Julia.
"They should be starting any minute now," Consuelo said leaning towards Teddy. "Angelica and Isabel are singing this year." Consuelo said with a smile proud of the fact that both her daughters were participating this year. "Where is Julia?"
"She said she wanted to surprise us."
The music began and young men and young women dressed in their regional costumes danced merrily to the music.
"Julia loved these…" Consuelo froze in mid sentence and Teddy followed her gaze.
Julia was a vision of loveliness. She was dressed in a peasant style costume. Her arms were filled with dozens of blossoms and as she sang and danced all were caught in her spell.
"Did you know?" Teddy asked.
"No, she hasn't…"
"Since Pilar." Consuelos's mother Dona Francisca said wistfully. "She still weaves a spell over the crowd…. just like she used to when she was a girl."
Consuelo had told Teddy how in the beginning her family felt close to Julia; apparently Dona Francisca had grown up with a much beloved older cousin who was gay and had killed himself because of it. Spain was not tolerant of such thing and the woman had never forgiven or understood why her beloved gentle cousin had been to suicide. At first Dona Francisca had been kind to Julia because of this; afterwards her kindness towards Julia had become love. Julia had become a part of their family and her generosity of heart had won them all.
The music continued and Teddy was fascinated as Julia danced and sang. She offered flowers as she sang seductively to the crowd. Heads turned in admiration of her beauty. Both men and women looked and admired her.
Por la calle de Alcala con la falda almidona
y los Nardos apoyaos en la cadera…
La florista viene y va, y sonrie descara
por la cera de la calle de Alcala…
Y buen moso que la ve, va y le dice "Venga usted, a ponerme en la solapa lo que quiera.
Que la flor que usted me da todo a embidea la vera todo el mundo por la calle de
Alcala."
Julia danced and enticed as she gave flowers out to the audience. She smiled and was rewarded by admiring gazes and smiles in return.
Quiere usted Nardos caballero
Si es que quiere una mujer.
Nardos no cuestan dinero y son lo primero para convence.
Llevelos y si se despide…. no me movere de aqui.
Luego si alguien se los piede, nunca se le olvide, que yo se los di.
Chorus: Compre usted los Nardos y convensa el corazon de una mujer.
Comprelos usted no lo piense mas. Mire que el amor no se puede pensar.
Quiere usted Nardos caballero
Si es que quiere una muje.
All danced merrily swinging handkerchiefs over their head in interlaced arms with their dancing partners.
Nardos no cuestan dinero y son lo primero para convence.
Chorus: Lleve usted Nardos caballero si es que quiere a una mujer.
Nardos no cuestan dinero y son lo primero para convence.
Julia swayed her hips seductively and beckoned with her feminine wiles and she mesmerized all the audience as she moved them with her words as she sang.
Por la calle de Alcala con la falda almidona
y los nardos apoyaos en la cadera.
La florista viene y va, y sonrie descara
por la cera de la calle de Alcala.
Y buen moso que la ve, va y le dice "Venga usted, a ponerme en la solapa lo que quiera.
Que la flor que usted me da todo a embieda la vera todo el mundo por la calle de
Alcala."
Luego si alguien se los piede, nunca se le olvide que yo se los di.
Luego si alguien se los piede, nunca se le olvide que yo se los di.
At the end of the performance Julia took flowers that remained in her basket and threw them out to the audience as she picked up another bouquet that had been waiting for her being held by a young man who smiled in admiration as he handed them to her.
"That is our Julia," Dona Francisca said with a smile, misty-eyed.
"Yes Mama, that is our Julia," Consuelo said as her eyes filled with tears.
After the performance was over Julia was walking over with a bouquet of flowers.
Teddy thought she had never looked more beautiful or happier.
As Julia was walking towards them a woman stepped in front of her.
Teddy noticed immediately how Connie's body stiffened in apprehension.
"Esa simberguenza," Dona Francisca said under her breath.
"Mama…" Consuelo touched her mother's arm.
Teddy knew without being told that the woman now talking to Julia was no other than Pilar.
Connie turned towards Teddy.
"I know who she is," Teddy said as she started walking towards Julia and Pilar.
Connie couldn't help but smile. This is the one, Consuelo thought as she smiled at Teddy's back now.
Teddy walked into what seemed like a heated discussion in Spanish.
"Hello darling," Teddy said to Julia as she kissed her lightly on the lips. "You were wonderful."
Julia was to say the least surprised at Teddy's public show of affection but a smile covered her astonishment quickly.
"I wanted to surprise you" Julia said happily as she smiled at Teddy. " These are for you," she said as she handed Teddy the bouquet of flowers.
"Thank you, they're lovely," Teddy said, as she smelled the flowers.
Both women totally ignored an irate Pilar next to them.
"Shall we go? I want to call the children and say goodnight to the baby before he goes to sleep."
Julia's smiled got broader "Of course, let's go home."
Teddy took Julia's arm and they walked towards Consuelo and her family. Teddy didn't miss the nod of approval from Dona Francisca or Consuelo's humorous expression.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You betrayed me!"
"What could I do? What could we have done Julia? My parents took me out of school and said they would throw me out on the street," cried Pilar.
Julia stared not able to answer. Everything inside her was raw and hurting all over again.
"Even now after all this time I still love you" Pilar said softly. "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough."
Julia found the anger beginning to dissipate.
"I love you still Julia if not more than I ever did." Pilar pleaded. "You must believe that."
Julia wanted to believe her. It had been five years since that awful night that she had been torn from Pilar's arms in the middle of the night at school. She still felt so many things for Pilar. Julia wanted to believe her. She wanted to believe that it had not all been a lie. So when Pilar walked up to her with eyes filled with tears and lips begging to be kissed Julia allowed the kiss that followed and welcomed it. Julia kissed her back.
Julia sat up in bed with a start.
Teddy sat up next to her and held her.
"It's okay Julia." Teddy said softly.
Julia looked all around the room then back at Teddy. She lay back down and thought about what she had just dreamt of and why.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And almost like an evil foreboding the dream had led the way to the Aston Martin that was pulling into the driveway.
Julia had heard the crunching of the tires and got up to look out the window.
Teddy had gone into town to pick up some things they had ordered for Billy's room. Sebastian, Nicky and the baby were scheduled to arrive in another week and Teddy wanted to have the nursery ready for them.
Julia had stayed home to deal with some calls with her lawyers over some business matters.
When Julia saw who stepped out of the car her features darkened.
A few minutes later the majordomo knocked and walked into the room. Before he could speak Julia said. "Let her in Pablo."
Pablo bowed and walked out of the room. He could tell that the visitor was not a welcomed one.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Teddy had been preoccupied all day. She was feeling nervous. She picked up the things that she and Julia had ordered for the nursery. She missed the children she told herself. And she had tried to put out of her mind the whole incident of Pilar. She wanted Julia to tell her. Teddy wondered if Julia's nightmare last night had anything to do with the woman.
Teddy cut her shopping short finally admitting to herself that she and Julia had some talking to do.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Is this the best you can come up with?" Julia asked sarcastically.
"The truth is sometimes hard to believe." Pilar said softly.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I should have just asked her last night," Teddy said to herself.
She had to talk this out with Julia. She had held back so many times with Edward. Teddy shook her head trying to control thoughts of Edward back into her mind.
"I will not make the same mistakes with Julia," she said to herself. "I am not going to judge Julia by Edward. I will just ask her. Julia loves me."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You had your anger, I had to marry someone I didn't love. I had to let him touch me when all I wanted was you!" Pilar exclaimed.
"You must think I'm a fool." Julia said in disbelief.
Pilar took a deep breath before she began to speak again.
"I still remember making love to you Julia."
"Don't!" Julia spat out as she turned her back to her.
"Imagine for one moment. What if what I'm saying to you is true?" Pilar said softly.
Julia turned and looked at her with no emotion registering on her face.
"I was so young Julia. My family needed me to marry Carlos or they faced ruin." Pilar said in tears. "Do you know how much it hurt to love you and sleep with someone else?" Pilar cried in desperation.
"I know. I know too well!" Julia suddenly spat out at her.
Pilar took a step back in fear.
"I wanted to believe you Pilar. There was a part of me that loved you beyond reason. You broke my heart twice damn you! The last time I thought I would go crazy. I slept with every woman and every man I saw. So don't tell me about sleeping with someone you didn't love." Julia turned away from her in disgust. "I know only to well. I have to live with that disgust my whole life."
Julia grabbed an object off a nearby stand and sent it flying.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Teddy's car pulled up next to the Aston Martin parked on the drive.
She walked into the house and asked Pablo to have the packages in the car taken to the nursery. She then asked him where Julia was.
He told her she was with a guest in the library. Teddy nodded her thanks and turned with a concerned expression towards the car parked in the driveway. She shook her head trying to shake that awful feeling that had clung to her all day. She smiled to herself thinking that soon she would be in Julia's arms and went inside to find her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Yesterday, I saw someone else's mouth on yours. I listened as I saw your life without me unveil itself, and I ached for you. I longed for all those things with you." Pilar's tears fell freely. "Every time he touched me Julia…. every night afterwards I cried for you my love, I cried for you."
Julia stared not wanting to fall for lies again. If it was true it might have mattered once….but not now. Now, nothing mattered but Teddy. Teddy had reached her on a more deeper and lasting way that Pilar ever had.
"I know you might never forgive me. But I needed to let you know that loving you was the only real thing in my life." Pilar said as her eyes filled with tears again.
"I'm sorry," Julia said softly.
Pilar walked up to her "I will love you till my last breath on this earth."
Julia looked at the face that once had touched her very core.
"Julia…" Pilar said with such longing.
Pilar suddenly put her arms around Julia's neck and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Julia was taken by surprise and was pulling away as Teddy walked in.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Teddy walked into the library and froze as she saw Julia kissing the woman she knew to be Pilar.
The world suddenly shifted and all the joy inside her shattered.
Julia broke away from Pilar and her features were filled with fear.
"Teddy, its not what you think." Julia said as she walked up to Teddy.
Julia froze a few feet away by the pain reflected in Teddy's eyes.
"It's not what you think," she said softly as she reached out slowly to Teddy.
"Don't lie to her Julia. You and I are like fire and fuel mi amor. We can't control the reaction," Pilar said confidently.
"No! Get out! I won't let you take my life away from me!" Julia yelled venomously at Pilar. "Not this time."
"Julia, I am your life," Pilar said without conviction. "Making love with you Julia…touching you. No one has ever made love to me like you."
"Get out!" Julia yelled and Teddy began to weep.
"I still remember how you screamed my name." Pilar said seductively. "Even now after all these years you kissed me."
Teddy moaned in despair.
"Liar!"
Julia grabbed Pilar by the arm and dragged her out.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When Julia came back to the library Teddy was gone. She ran calling for her and searched the whole house for her but Teddy was no where to be found.
Julia thought she would loose her mind. She searched the grounds as well yelling Teddy's name.
An hour later she walked into the library and locked the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"She's left me Connie."
"Julia? Is that you?" Consuelo suddenly became very nervous. "Julia what happened?"
"I'm going to kill her Connie," Julia's voice was so calm it was unnerving.
"Julia wait for me. I'm coming over."
"I won't let her do this; I can't go through this again," Julia said calmly.
"Julia honey please. Calm down okay." Consuelo was really frightened now.
"Julia…Julia?"
The line went dead.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Pilar was not surprised when she heard a noise behind her. She had always known that Julia would come. When she turned around and saw the gun pointed at her she didn't even flinch.
Julia stared at her not moving. She seemed to be barely breathing.
"Will you kill me Julia? Can you?" Pilar asked serenely.
Julia suddenly seemed disturbed by the question.
"The first time I saw you I thought you were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen." Pilar said pensively. "You still have the power to touch me and I hate you for that."
Julia pulled back the trigger. Pilar seemed unfazed.
"You were so easy to seduce. All I had to do was touch you." Pilar said seductively.
"I loved you Pilar." Julia said wearily. "I would have given up everything to be with you."
"Yes, I believe you would have." Was all Pilar said. "That was always your biggest attraction you know."
Julia looked confused.
"I believe you really loved me. None of the others ever did." Pilar said in surprise. "That last time…. I was tempted to stay."
Both women now stared at one another.
"I hated you for that." Pilar said suddenly in aggravation. "Pull the damn trigger already!"
Julia suddenly seemed to have lost the desire and lowered the gun.
"You can't do it can you?" Pilar seemed amazed.
Julia shook her head.
"Today, I went looking for you and oddly enough I finally saw myself." Pilar said looking suddenly very sad.
She searched Julia's face.
"Isn't funny," Pilar finally said with an ironic smirk on her face. "When I said I love you today; I really meant it."
Julia did not seem moved.
Pilar took a step closer and her hand went up slowly but stopped before it touched Julia's face.
"All these years…" Pilar said barely loud enough to be heard. "It was always in front of me."
"Good bye Pilar" said Julia s she turned and started walking away.
"Julia…" Pilar said almost as if it was a prayer.
Julia stopped and turned to face her.
"I love you", Pilar said softly. This time Julia noticed the subtle change in the way she said "Julia…love like yours just doesn't die." Pilar pleaded from where she stood.
"It didn't just die Pilar. You killed it. And I mourned it. I never thought I would ever feel again. I didn't want to. You left me barren and alone. Until Teddy came along and loved me in spite of it." Julia finished saying sadly. "You don't know love Pilar. All you know is taking. I would never have known the difference if I had never met her."
"Let me show you." Pilar said softly. "I can give you love Julia."
"The only thing I want you can't give me." Julia whispered.
"She's left you then?"
Pilar saw as her eyes filled with tears.
"Good bye Pilar."
"For now," Pilar said softly.
"No, this time its forever." Julia turned around and left her.
Pilar sat down and leaned her head back and memories of long ago flooded her senses. Julia had been so young and so beautiful. She had been so unaware of her beauty. Pilar took in a deep breath. How could she not have seen it? Why had she not fought for her? Perhaps even then she knew that Julia would be able to really touch her.
Pilar remembered the day, that last day they had spent together. And that night, their last night together, she had not planned on making love to Julia.
She knew that the relationship was lasting too long and had one of her friends tell so that they would be found out. Julia never did find out about that. Pilar shook her head at the memory of that; Julia being ripped out of her embrace and she would never forget how even then in front of the whole world Julia had cried out for her.
Pilar's eyes closed and tears escaped them. Why had she run away from that? And why did she finally see this now?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Julia walked into the library and came face to face with Consuelo.
"What have you done?" Consuelo asked the dreaded question as soon as she saw the gun still Julia's hand
"Nothing…I couldn't kill her Connie. It wouldn't have taken away all the pain she's caused me. And it wouldn't bring Teddy back." Julia had never seemed more miserable. "She left me Connie." Julia tried to control a sob. "She should have let me explain." Julia cried as she still held the gun in her hand.
Consuelo could see that Julia was very emotionally fragile but here was her chance to help her and she would take it.
"Explain what Julia?" Consuelo coaxed her friend to answer.
"We were fighting, Pilar and I, and suddenly she got very quiet. She pulled me into a kiss. I was pushing her away when Teddy came into the room." Julia sobbed. "You should have seen her face Connie." She tried wiping her tears away.
"I'm sure she loves you and will believe you Julia," Consuelo said with a smile.
"She's gone…tonight I realized that I had used my pain of loosing Pilar as a barrier against loving anyone. I never thought that anyone could touch me the way she did. I had the power to control my feelings. With Teddy there was no control; there was no choice. And I suddenly realized that that is what real love is. Just as I know that Teddy would never hurt me by betraying me like Pilar did."
"Just as you would never betray me," said a voice behind her.
Julia turned quickly and Consuelo smiled.
Teddy walked slowly towards her. "I didn't leave."
"I can explain," Julia said taking a step closer.
"I love you Julia," Teddy said softly.
Julia dropped the gun as her arms were filled with the woman she loved.
"I love you Teddy. God, I love you." Julia pulled her tighter to her.
Both mouths sought each other with the desperation to connect and touch.
"Always and forever my darling." Julia said to her that night as they made love.
"Always and forever my love," was the reply.
The End
You've read it. Now take the time to tell Anne what
you thought.
Sanneol7@aol.com
Till There Was You©copyright May 2002
Property of S. Anne Gardner
The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive