The Dark Side of the Moon by BadSquirrel

Part Five

Sarah looked at herself in the mirror doubtfully. She was wearing one of Jordan's white silk dress shirts, white boxers and fleece-lined slippers that were several times too large. Granted, the shirt did almost cover the boxers, but it just didn't seem like a good idea. "I look like we just got out of bed."

"Precisely. Come here."

On the edge of a full blown sulk, Sarah barely avoided flouncing over to where Jordan sat on the edge of the bed. The long fingered hands of her lover began rolling up Sarah's sleeve. "Are you sure this is what I should wear?" Sarah continued. "It's practically see through."

"If you don't dress like this," Jordan said patiently, "you'll feel out of place. If you have a good time tonight and want to come to more parties, I'll take you out and buy you a leather outfit. But, I can pretty much guarantee that it will be more revealing than this. Besides, I want them to think we just got out of bed. The best protection I can give you is to make them believe that you are mine."

Sarah accepted the words as truth, but she couldn't help feeling out of sorts. "Couldn't I at least wear a darker shirt?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

Sarah ground her teeth in frustration. "I am not your slave. You can't just order me like that and get away with it."

Jordan reached for the other sleeve, but said nothing.

"Are you listening to me?"

"No."

Angry, Sarah snatched her arm back, but Jordan quickly grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down to the bed. "Let me go," Sarah said through gritted teeth.

"You're scared."

"I am not."

"Everything I do is for a reason," Jordan said quietly.

"I don't care. Let me up."

"It's perfectly normal to be scared, baby. You don't know what to expect. I do. All you have to do is trust me. Do you trust me?"

Sarah could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "It's not about trust."

"What is it about then?"

Closing her eyes, Sarah struggled to get her churning emotions under control. She was afraid. More so than at any other time in her life. She stood on a precipice and nothing would ever be the same if she jumped. Would she fall or would she fly?

"You don't have to come up, little one. You can stay here and wait for me. Surely you know that I don't require this of you. I thought you wanted to see a party. If you're only doing this to try to make me happy, I don't want you to come. But, if it's for you, then you need to trust me. Nothing will happen to you upstairs. Even if you change your mind and want me to play with you, I won't. Afterward, we'll talk about anything and everything. If this is what you want to do, I'll do everything in my power to make it a good experience for you, but you have to accept that I know what's best. You have to accept that for the next few hours, you are my submissive. Do what I tell you to do and you'll be just fine. Or, stay here. I love you no matter what you decide."

Sarah curled into the protective strength of Jordan's long body. "I am scared," she whispered.

"I know, baby. It's all right. I won't let anything hurt you."

She cried softly for a few minutes and then relaxed. Did she want to go? In spite of her fears, her curiosity was still high. She did want to see a party. Not just for what people would do, but to see Jordan as the Dungeon Master. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to accept it all as inevitable. "Alright."

Jordan brushed hair from Sarah's face with a gentle touch. "You can stay here, baby. You don't have to come."

"No, I want to."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded as tears were wiped from her cheeks. "I suppose I should call you Master?"

"That might be best."

"Are you going to give me any other instructions before we go? Do I have to kneel or anything?"

"That depends on what kind of impression you want to give. I hadn't planned on asking you to."

Sarah sat up and held her arm out so Jordan could finish rolling the sleeve. "Aren't you going to be judged on how I behave?"

"Perhaps. I'm not terribly concerned with it."

She considered the situation carefully. Sarah might not have any real clue how Jordan was perceived by her players, but she thought it likely that authority and respect were crucial during the parties. If she were to behave incorrectly, it would reflect on Jordan. She didn't want to be the cause of the players treating Jordan as if she didn't command. Since Jordan had made it clear that they would not be playing, Sarah felt that she could afford to allow Jordan to be the dominant. It was all just an illusion anyway. "Jordan?"

Finished with the sleeves, Jordan unfastened one more button on Sarah's shirt. "Yes, baby?"

"Maybe you should . . . I mean, if I'm going to be your submissive, maybe I should act like one."

"Do you want to?"

Sarah couldn't meet her eyes. "I don't want them to think that you aren't my Master. It wouldn't be good for your reputation."

"I see."

"Just for the party," she clarified. "What do I do?"

"Do what I tell you without hesitation or resistance. Don't question me. Don't look into the eyes of the other dominants. Don't react to anything I say about you. On the other hand, feel free to be yourself. No one will expect you to be a perfect sub at your first party."

Sarah glanced up. "Do they know it's my first?"

"Well, they've never seen you at one and you're young. They'll assume that it is. Just remember that every single one of them had a first party and not necessarily here. Some of them have horror stories about their first times. I promise you that none of them will want your first time to be terrible. It'll be okay, Sarah. When it's all over, you'll wonder what you were so worried about."

Sarah reached out and straightened Jordan's tie. "You look really good."

"Thank you." Jordan grinned. "You know, I'm becoming accustomed to having you dress me. I like it very much."

Sarah had to smile. "I like doing it."

Jordan gently lifted Sarah's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "You can say you aren't my slave, but the messages I'm getting are somewhat confusing. We need to talk about that sometime."

"Alright."

"Are you ready?"

Sarah took a calming breath. "Yes."

A total of seven couples came to the party. Four were heterosexual, two were lesbian and one was two men. All of them looked familiar from the New Years Eve party. Sarah wrapped a hand in Jordan's belt at the small of her back and stood behind her shoulder as Jordan greeted them all. No one spoke to Sarah, but their eyes drank her in.

Costumes were revealed as Jordan took their coats. Sarah felt like her eyes were going to pop out. Leather, spikes, corsets, chaps, strap-ons, vinyl, chains: it looked like Halloween. One of the men had his genitals in a leather bag that was attached by a chain to a wrist cuff. His woman put it on her arm and gently tugged on it to make him follow. Most of the women had their breasts at least partially exposed and they were not the only ones who were pierced.

In spite of the malevolent nature of their clothing, everyone was smiling and talking. After greeting one another, they trooped upstairs while Jordan locked the front door.

"How are you doing?" Jordan asked.

"My God," Sarah whispered. "Is that normal?"

Jordan laughed quietly. "Pretty much."

Sarah clutched at Jordan's arm. "Thank you for letting me wear this. I had no idea."

"You're welcome, baby. Come on. Let's go have a party."

It wasn't so bad. Sarah had expected the players to dive right into the mayhem, but it started off with dimming the lights and some good classic rock and roll music. People were visiting with each other. Within the first few minutes, the division of dominant and submissive sorted itself out. Subs stood by (or knelt) quietly as the dominants talked and laughed. One of the lesbian couples danced together with loving looks and deliberate caresses. Sarah was surprised that two of the straight women were in the dominant role. If it was true that they were doing what they wanted, then the men were choosing to be submissive. It was strange.

Coffee was made and handed around. Jordan slowly made the rounds as host, but Sarah could hardly pay attention to what they talked about. Keeping her hand tucked into Jordan's leather belt so as not to be separated from her, Sarah let her eyes wander. There was so much to take in.

One of the dancing women was losing her shirt. Sarah snuggled into Jordan's back, but she had to watch. In the past, sneaking into bars to find dates, Sarah had watched a lot of women making love on the dance floor, but she had never seen anything as blatant as this. The women weren't even trying to hide the fact that they were making love. Grinding on each other's legs, the topless woman held her lover's head to her breast with her head thrown back, pleasure evident on her face. It was beautiful.

Sarah could feel her own body responding. It made Jordan's hunger two nights before more understandable. After waiting for hours and then falling asleep, Sarah had been woken by a ravenous woman. Jordan had made love to her repeatedly and then collapsed after her own orgasm. Sarah had to wonder how Jordan went for so long without a lover if this was what she did three nights a week.

Her heart raced and she tried not to squirm as a hand slipped under the topless woman's skirt. With a knowing smile, the dressed woman brought her lover to orgasm and they began to laugh. Sarah hid her face against Jordan's shirt to hide the feelings it had given her. Jordan had said that she would not play with Sarah even if she changed her mind. The way she felt right now, it was a good thing to know.

A tug on her sleeve made her slip under Jordan's arm and into her embrace.

"You okay?"

Sarah nodded.

"That's Karen and Amy. Karen's in the vest. They've been together for four or five years and that's what they come to the parties for. They like being watched. You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

Sarah blushed to her roots.

"It's okay, little one. You'd have to be three days dead not to enjoy it."

"How do you stand it?"

"What?"

Sarah lifted her chin and repeated her question. "Doesn't it make you. . ?"

"Yes. It does. I like it. Don't you?"

"Well, sure, but . . ."

"You're embarrassed."

"Yeah."

"It's okay. Everything you feel is perfectly normal. You're doing fine."

Grateful that she wasn't exploring one of these parties on her own, Sarah hugged Jordan hard for a moment and then caught sight of another woman on her knees unfastening a man's pants. "Oh, God."

"Hmm?"

She tried not to grimace as the man's penis was exposed. It was not quite what she expected. "Um . . . Jordan?"

"Yes?"

"Isn't that supposed to be bigger?"

Jordan turned to look and then smiled against Sarah's temple. "Don't make me laugh, baby."

She looked up into Jordan's face as the woman covered the man's penis with a condom and took it in her mouth. "Isn't it?"

"He can't help what he was born with," Jordan said with a grin. "Actually, he's pretty average."

"Yours is bigger."

"Mine isn't real," Jordan whispered. "It can be any size we want it to be."

Sarah looked back at the couple. It was pretty disgusting to her and all of the lust the two women had inspired in her faded away. She had to work to keep a straight face. "It's kind of gross."

"Not for them," Jordan said. "Watch her. Can you see how much she's enjoying it? Ultimately, the only difference between what she's doing and what you do when you take me in your mouth is size."

"Maybe," she conceded reluctantly.

"If my clitoris were bigger, would you still suck on it?"

Sarah imagined it and a bolt of passion made her shiver. "Yes."

"And if it were that big?"

Sarah took a deep breath and let it go. "You've made your point."

Jordan rubbed Sarah's back in long strokes. "You're right though. It is kind of revolting."

Having Jordan agree with her after making her look at it differently made her laugh. "Why didn't you just say that at the beginning?"

Jordan just shrugged and ran a hand over Sarah's long hair. "I'm thirsty. Go get me one of those iced teas. Berry."

Sarah was halfway to the refrigerator before she realized that she had followed an order. Not a request-an order. Oh, well. She was already doing it. To refuse now seemed pointless, especially since she would have done it anyway. Closing the refrigerator, Sarah twisted the cap off and tossed it in the trash.

"Hi."

She turned to find one of the straight women standing behind her wearing nothing but a smile. Sarah forced herself not to look down. "Hi."

"My name is Leslie."

There was a delicate chain suspended from the woman's nipples and Sarah was dying to look closer. "Sarah."

"First time?"

She glanced at Jordan and saw her nod with approval. "Um . . . yeah."

"Let me be the first to say welcome."

"Thanks."

Leslie moved to the coffee machine and poured a cup. "You're with Master Crisp?"

"Yes." What did one say to a naked woman with chains on her nipples? "Who are you with?"

Leslie pointed discretely to a man of slender build. "That's my husband, Phil."

"Oh." She swallowed hard. "Um . . . I should take this back to . . . my Master."

Leslie smiled. "Of course. It was nice to meet you. Maybe we can talk later. If your Master will allow it."

"Um . . . sure." It took everything she had not to run back to Jordan's side. It was ridiculous to be frightened by a friendly face, but she couldn't help it. Jordan merely circled her with one arm and took a long drink of the iced tea. Sarah desperately wanted to be casual about everything. Jordan was acting no different than always when there were guests in the house, but Sarah couldn't be that indifferent. In fact, she could feel the screaming meemies breathing down the back of her neck. Not since the very first time she had entered the dungeon had she experienced a reaction like this.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I mean, what the hell am I doing here? Playing here with Jordan was magical, but this . . . it's too . . . real. I like the dungeon and I like cleaning it, but these people . . . I don't belong here. I'm not like them. What I do with Jordan is private and special. I could never do it here in front of these people.

Sarah looked over at the straight couple. The woman was on her hands and knees now and the man was penetrating her from behind. Jordan had fingered her in that position a number of times and it had been beautiful. Nothing like what she was seeing now. Is that how she and Jordan looked when they did it? Did it look so cheap and tawdry? It couldn't possibly. It was magic when Jordan was touching her. It was about passion and emotion building to impossible heights; not this rutting, animal display. She looked away.

The gay male couple was talking to the other lesbian couple. Sarah realized how much more normal gay couples looked to her than straight couples. It wasn't a thing she had ever been aware of before. The two women were in their thirties. The taller one was slender and athletic, seemingly of Native American or Hispanic descent. The other was softer and rounder with a warm smile. The two men were fit and handsome and could almost be taken for brothers except for the way they touched each other. Both were wearing leather harnesses made out of straps and buckles on their torsos and one was idly playing with his partner's nipple ring as they chatted.

The idea of having a needle put through her nipple was unpleasant, but Sarah had to admit to a certain curiosity about how it would feel to have Jordan playing with her nipple like that. It was easy to imagine Jordan leading her around by such an ornament. In fact, it was rather exciting to think about. She wondered if Jordan had been the one to give him the piercing.

The man with his genitals on a leash was licking his Mistress's knee high vinyl boots while she talked with another man. A woman knelt at that man's feet with her eyes on the floor. The dynamics of it all were so strange. Of course, she had read about this sort of thing and had an intellectual understanding of what was going on, but she didn't really comprehend it on an emotional level.

Sarah looked around and saw a man arranging a woman on a spanking stool. He was talking quietly to her as he secured her wrists and ankles with padded straps. Sarah jumped when he swatted her ass with his hand.

"She wants it," Jordan said quietly.

Sarah realized she was clutching Jordan tightly and tried to relax.

"Come on," Jordan urged gently. "Let's sit down and watch. We can talk quietly while it's happening."

Sarah's knees were rubbery as they moved a little closer and Jordan sat down in an easy chair. She let herself be pulled into Jordan's lap, grateful for the comfort and safety she found there. "What's he going to do?" she asked in a whisper.

"Whatever she wants him to do," Jordan answered.

Looking up into her lover's face, she saw that Jordan was completely at ease. "Whatever she wants," Sarah murmured to herself.

"That's right, baby. There's nothing to be afraid of here. He's not angry with her. You can see it in his face. And look at her. She's smiling."

They were seated about fifteen feet from the couple and it was true. The woman was smiling and the man did not look at all angry. "What are their names?"

"Richard and Dana."

"Are they married?"

"No. They're not even a couple in real life. They play with different people and switch roles frequently. They play well together. Just remember that they talked about this scene before tonight. Both of them are doing exactly what they want. When she's had enough, she'll use the dungeon safe word and he'll stop."

The next half hour was fascinating to Sarah. With Jordan's whispered commentary in her ear, she relaxed and just absorbed what she was seeing. Richard stopped frequently to caress Dana and talk to her about how she was feeling, but by the time Dana used the safe word, her buttocks and thighs were a bright, angry red. Dana had been crying for some time, but when Richard released her, she was laughing. The two of them moved off to a sofa where Richard lovingly held Dana in his arms, their words soft and accompanied by smiles.

"How are you doing?"

Sarah closed her eyes at the soft caress of Jordan's hand in her hair. "I think I'm okay."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Snuggling deeper into Jordan's arms, she sighed. "Later, I think. Could you just hold me for a while?"

"For as long as you want, little one."

~***~

The low buzz of conversation slowly pulled Sarah from slumber. At first, the words were indistinct, but they slowly began to make sense to her.

"...Too much power for one person to have over another. Unless, of course, that is the nature of your relationship."

"At this point, power is not a fundamental part of our relationship."

Sarah almost hummed with pleasure at the sound of Jordan's voice above her. She could almost feel the vibrations of Jordan's speech through the thick vest she wore. It made her feel safe and cherished.

"On the contrary," the man's voice insisted without rancor. "Whether you admit to it or not, power is at the core of your relationship. Regardless of whether you are using it or not, you have control over her most basic needs: food and shelter. Knowing that, how can you be sure that her participation in your relationship is truly consensual? Giving her the information to make informed choices and having the patience to let her find her own desires and limits is not enough, Jordan. As long as you are the boss, she is not free to consent."

"She is free to choose," Jordan said. "I swore to her that nothing that happens between us will affect her home or position on my staff. I keep my word."

"I know you do, Jordan, but promises of freedom mean nothing to the trapped and enslaved."

All of a sudden, Sarah understood that they were discussing her. The man seemed to be suggesting that she was not capable of self-determination. He was saying that Jordan was not honorable. Her eyes popped open and she started to sit up.

Jordan felt her move and smiled down at her. "Hello, little one."

Sarah put an arm around Jordan's shoulders and looked around. The two gay men from the party were sitting on a loveseat close by. Everyone else seemed to have left. The music was down low and the lights were up. She looked straight into the eyes of the one who was sitting forward with his elbows on his knees. "I am not a slave and I am not trapped. Jordan does not control me, nor would he ever take advantage of his authority. You do not know him at all if you think he would. Besides which, I fail to see how our relationship is any of your business. Where do you get off passing judgements like that?"

He was grinning and Jordan was chuckling. Sarah turned her head to stare at her lover. "This isn't funny, Jordan. I heard what he said about you. About us."

"It's okay, baby."

"No, it's not." Gentle fingers lay over her lips and Sarah bit off her next words.

"Greg is not attacking me," Jordan explained. "He is looking out for you. Part of the responsibility of being dominant is watching out for submissives. We watch to make sure no one is being used or abused or manipulated."

"But, you're not..."

"I know that, and you know that," Jordan interrupted. "But, Greg does have a point. One we need to discuss sooner rather than later. I have too much power over your life."

Sarah shook her head. "Not since you put Pete in charge of me."

Jordan winced. "I never did that."

This surprised her. "Why not?"

"Oh, at least ten valid, if not very convincing, reasons come to mind. I think I just didn't want anything to change and I was concerned with how Pete would feel about it. He thinks the moon rises and sets on you."

Sarah took a deep breath and considered it. "It doesn't matter to me. If I thought you were the kind of person who would use your position to force me into things I don't want, I wouldn't be with you. I trust you."

"Trust may not be enough if feelings get hurt."

Sarah swivelled her eyes to Greg with a glare at his comment. "What do you want?"

He blinked once as if surprised and then cocked his head, his brown eyes intent on her. "I'd just like the two of you to talk all of this out. Make sure the power dynamic is fair and equitable for you both. You can choose to give up as much power as you like into Jordan's keeping, but only if you actually have that power to begin with."

Sarah still didn't like the fact that he felt he had the right to say such things, but even Jordan had been saying that they needed to talk. If she was honest with herself, she was afraid of the talk they needed to have. She didn't want things to change. Things were good. They might not stay good if they made changes.

Gregg patted the leg of the man next to him. "We should get going. Thanks for another great party, Jordan."

Sarah made as if to get up, but Jordan's arm tightened around her waist until she relaxed. She forced smiles at the two departing men, listening as Jordan charged them with making sure everyone else really was gone. Soon enough they were alone. Sarah kept her eyes downcast. "I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"Don't be," Jordan said quietly. "I think this has been the best time I've ever had at one of my parties. I loved it."

Sarah sighed and rested her head on Jordan's shoulder. "You're too easy. I fell asleep on you and you say it's the best time you've ever had."

"It was."

She sighed again. "I don't want things to change, Jordan. I like things the way they are now."

"Are you happy?"

She nodded and closed her eyes.

Jordan stretched her legs out and resettled Sarah on her lap. "I'm happy, too. Happier than I ever thought I could be. But, I worry."

"About what?"

"What your plans are after you graduate. Whether you will stay or go."

Sarah's eyes opened, but she stayed where she was. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to be happy."

Biting at her lip, she thought about it. "That's a cop out."

"I know, but it's true."

Sitting up, she shifted so she could comfortably look into Jordan's face for the truth. "What do you want for you, Jordan?"

"Honestly? I want you to stay with me forever."

Forever. She swallowed against the doubts and fears that assailed her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am." Jordan's face was clear of any subterfuge.

"You make it sound so simple."

Jordan nodded thoughtfully. "Nothing is ever easy until after the fact. I don't think we will have a happily-ever-after life, little one. I think that sometimes it will be damn hard. But I think, in the end, growing and evolving with you is what I want to do with the rest of my life. The question is, is that what you want to do with your life? I know that you are not ready to answer that question and that's okay. I can wait for an answer. Even if it turns out to be the answer I would not choose for me. You are not obligated to give me what I want."

"I know that, but..." She paused helplessly.

"It's okay, little one. Don't worry about it. This is not an answer you can rush. Let it go for now. When the time comes, do what is right for you. As long as it's what you want and it makes you happy, I will be happy for you. Truly."

Sarah put a hand to the rugged face as tenderness washed through her. "How can you be so completely sweet and understanding?"

"You make it easy, little one."

Petting the side of Jordan's face, Sarah held back tears at how lucky she felt. Never, in any fantasy she had ever entertained, had she thought she would be with someone like Jordan. It was just the most amazing feeling.

"I think we should talk about your position as employee," Jordan said gently.

Sarah sighed and let her hands fall to the broad shoulders. "Jordan...I really like cleaning the dungeon."

"I think I know that, love."

"It's more like a hobby than a job," Sarah added. "I would do it even if you weren't paying me. It's not like I need your money. I make so much in tips...you don't even know. And now that my settlement is coming through for the accident, I really don't need a salary anymore. What if I cleaned the dungeon in exchange for rent and tips only? Would that equalize the power dynamic for the other tops? I don't want them challenging how we are with each other. I don't care what you say, it's none of their business."

Jordan nodded thoughtfully. "How we feel about each other is none of their business, but I appreciate that they are looking out for us. I don't mind a bit of challenge. I think I need it sometimes to keep me honest about my actions and motives." Her eyes narrowed and she took a deep breath. "What you say about your finances and wanting to clean the dungeon makes sense to me and I believe you, but does your plan balance the power dynamic between us? Will it make you feel like you are my equal?"

Sarah couldn't help a little snort of amusement. "Equals? We will never be equals, Jordan."

A look of pain flickered across Jordan's rugged face. "If that is true," she said quietly, "then we have a serious problem."

The statement felt ominous and ignited a swarm of bees in Sarah's belly. "I just meant that I'm probably never going to be as rich and as influential as you are. There's always going to be an imbalance in our relationship because of that."

Jordan hesitated and then sighed. "It's more than that, isn't it? You still see me in terms of age, wealth and accomplishment."

The conversation was starting to scare Sarah, but she had to be honest. Placing a hand over Jordan's heart, she spoke slowly. "It's not what you are, Jordan. It's what I'm not. I am never going to be your equal. Can't you see that?"

"No."

She could see the truth in Jordan's clear eyes. The older woman really meant that. Sarah slid off her lap with a sigh of frustration and folded her arms. "I just don't understand how you cannot see the disparity between us. We are so different."

"I see that just fine," Jordan said firmly. "I am well aware of how different we are in so many ways. It's one of the things I love most about being with you. What I didn't understand was how very different our values are."

That caught Sarah up short. "What do you mean?"

Jordan rose to her feet. She looked down at Sarah as if from a vast distance. "When I look at you, I see the sharpness of your intellect, the goodness of your heart and the strength of your soul. You look at me and see my house, my money and my position. We are not equal because you can't see me. If you could, you would know that the lack of equality you perceive lies within me. Not within you. You are the better woman, Sarah, in every way that matters. Until you can see past the material trappings of my life and see yourself as you truly are, we have no hope for a future."

Shocked to her core, Sarah could only stand helplessly as Jordan turned and left the dungeon. Long minutes passed as she struggled to understand what had just happened. Then she began to get angry. Was Jordan being deliberately obtuse? Jordan's wealth and position were real. They were not Sarah's imagination.

It was all so confusing. Even if they had the same money, position and life experience, they would still not be equals. Jordan would still be who she was. She was a dominant personality and nothing would change that. She had a presence and authority that Sarah would never have. Even if everything else between them was balanced, there was still that fact. If someone wasn't seeing themselves clearly, it was Jordan.

Knowing that she was too angry and confused to face Jordan just yet, Sarah began to clean.

~***~

Sarah woke up to a large hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see Pete's face above her and smiled. "Hey. Welcome back. How was your honeymoon?"

Pete held out a steaming mug. "Coffee?"

"Oh yeah," she said as she stretched. After cleaning, she had still been uncertain about seeing Jordan, so she had curled up on one of the dungeon sofas with a blanket. It had not been as comfortable as her own bed-or Jordan's for that matter-but it had been comfortable enough. She sat up and reached for the coffee cup. "What time is it?"

"Twenty after eight."

She had plenty of time to get ready for school. Sarah sipped at the fragrant brew and looked more closely at Pete. He did not look happy. "What's wrong?"

"What is going on between you and Mr. Crisp?"

Uh oh. "I'm not sure I know what you are asking," she hedged. Sarah wouldn't have thought it was possible considering his complexion, but Pete's face darkened.

"What is the nature of your relationship with our employer?" he enunciated clearly.

Fear curled around her tongue and all she could do was stare at the big man.

"What has he done?"

Sarah shook her head in denial. "Nothing. I mean...he didn't..."

Pete took a deep breath and his eyes softened. "If he has manipulated you into some sort of..." He took another breath and started over. "Whatever is going on, it's not your fault. I can help you get a lawyer and you can..."

Sarah sat forward and put a hand on Pete's arm. "No, Pete. It's not like that. Really."

He looked at her intently. "Tell me what's happening. I can help you."

Sarah used one hand to rub her eyes. This was getting out of hand. Damn Jordan for not handling this when she said she would! Settling the blanket around her bare legs, she considered where to start. "Jordan and I have been dating since New Year's. I have not been coerced or manipulated into anything. Jordan has been very careful not to pressure me in any way."

Pete sat back in his chair, his eyes staying focused on her. "I thought you were gay."

Sarah hid a sigh. "I am. I guess...maybe I just found the right guy."

Dark brown eyes roamed over Sarah. "And you are dressed like that and sleeping in the dungeon because...?"

A blush of epic proportions flashed to the surface of most of Sarah's body and she had to look away. "I wanted to see a party," she mumbled.

"You wanted to see one, or Jordan wanted you there?"

Sarah's head popped up in irritation. "Why are you so quick to believe that Jordan is the bad guy? You've got Jordan forcing me into sex and dragging me to BDSM parties. What has he ever done to make you think he would do that? Or is it that you think I'm incapable of making my own decisions in these matters? Do you really think I'm that helpless? Damn, Pete, I could use a little respect here. I know I'm young, but I'm not a child. Nothing has happened that I haven't wanted and asked for."

"Are you sure?"

He looked so doubtful that all Sarah could do for a long moment was gape at him. "Yes, I'm sure. I can't believe you even feel the need to ask."

Pete rubbed the top of his head with one meaty hand. "He's older and more experienced than you are, Sarah. That's not a judgment on you. It's just a fact. He could be manipulating you and you might not even be aware of it. If that's the case, I'm here to help you."

Sarah buried her face in her hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Sarah..."

"Stop," she interrupted with her hands held out between them. "Just stop." Brushing her hair back, she took a deep breath and looked into the big man's face. "There is no reason or need for you to be so quick to defend me. Though, I do appreciate it. You are not the only one trying to look out for me. What's happening between Jordan and me is safe and consensual. If you want to talk to Jordan about it, go right ahead, but I can't do this right now. I just woke up and I'm feeling kind of ambushed. And, maybe, a little frustrated. I need some time to think, okay?"

He nodded once. "Alright then. But, my door is open if you want to talk."

"Thank you, Pete." She took another deep breath and reached for her coffee. "Thanks for waking me up with coffee."

"You're welcome," he said with a hint of a smile.

Taking a sip of the hot brew, Sarah studied his face. "So, how was the honeymoon?"

"Too short."

She had to grin. "I'll bet. But, it's nice to have you back. I know Jordan missed you."

Pete snorted. "I'll spend the rest of the week fixing the mess he made of my system."

"I bet you won't." At his raised eyebrows, she added, "I helped out a bit."

He looked pleased and surprised. "Thank you, Sarah."

"No problem," she said with a shrug. Gathering the blanket around her waist, she stood up. "Well, I need to get my clothes and start thinking about getting ready for school."

His smile faded, but his eyes were gentle. "Have a good day."

"Thanks. You, too."

The housekeepers hadn't started their shift yet so Sarah was able to get to Jordan's office without being observed. Once downstairs, she left the blanket in a pile by the door and went into Jordan's apartment. The lights were on and it was quiet. She found Jordan lying across the king size bed still fully dressed. Part of her longed to lay down with her lover and make all the confusion go away in her arms. Another part wanted to smother the tall woman with a pillow. Neither option seemed very practical.

Sarah reached for one edge of the comforter and began to pull it over the long form.

"I was wrong."

She stopped at Jordan's rough voice. "What?"

"I was wrong," Jordan repeated. "I think you do see me. I think you have some valid concerns."

Sarah dropped the comforter and moved to sit next to Jordan. Putting one hand on a long leather-clad leg, she let herself relax. Just being near Jordan calmed her. "I'm not sure if I can get past them and that scares me."

"It scares me, too."

Sighing, Sarah turned to lay on her side and draped an arm over Jordan's back. "I wish I could see myself the way you seem to. The person you see seems so much more confident and mature than I feel. I feel so...inadequate."

Jordan turned her head and their eyes met. "I never feel that about you, little one. Not ever."

It was clear to Sarah that Jordan had not slept. She looked haggard. Reaching up with one hand, she caressed the rugged face gently. Several things began to make sense all at once and Sarah took a moment to sort through them. "You know, it's really not about your money or your success. I mean, those are easy things to point to, but I think those are just smoke screens."

A little bit of life filtered back into Jordan's eyes. "How so?"

"I'm not real sure yet," Sarah said slowly. "I think it's still unclear for me. Maybe...I think it's really about feeling like equals. Because I don't think we are and I don't think we ever will be."

Sarah tried not to take the flicker of pain in Jordan's gaze personally. She focused on what her thoughts were trying to puzzle out. "Being equal doesn't mean being the same, does it?"

"No."

"Then...what does it mean?"

Jordan looked thoughtful. "That's a good question. What does it mean to you?"

"I'm not sure." Sarah's mind was moving quickly now, sorting and rearranging. "I suppose...it's the power and freedom to make choices."

"How equal do you think we are based on that definition?"

Sarah smiled at her lover. "Okay, so we're equals."

Jordan slowly rose up and shifted to her side so she could lean on an elbow. "Do you really believe that? It's very important to me that you truly know that we are equal."

Sarah rolled to her back and laced her fingers behind her head. "I need to think about it some more, but yeah."

Jordan nodded. "I think," she said very slowly, "that the reservations you have about us and our relationship revolve around self-worth. It's not about money, or power, or experience, or age. It's that you don't feel worthy of being loved."

Tears flooded Sarah's eyes and her throat tightened. Jordan was right. She started to turn her eyes away, but a gentle hand cupped her face. She had no choice but to look into Jordan's eyes.

"I'm going to say something that will sound presumptuous and arrogant, but it's not. It's something I want you to think about. Will you do that?"

Biting her lip to keep from crying, Sarah nodded.

Jordan's gaze intensified. "You are not the one who gets to decide whether or not you are worthy of my love."

It took a few seconds for that statement to register. Sarah turned her eyes to stare at the ceiling while she thought about it. The statement was almost shocking to her in its accuracy. Jordan was the only one who could decide if Sarah was right for her. Just like Sarah was the only one who could make that decision about Jordan's suitability. "Wow."

"Wow?"

Sarah glanced at the woman above her and almost laughed at the quirky grin she found. "Wow pretty much covers it."

Jordan sighed dramatically. "Good. It took me all night to come up with that little nugget of wisdom."

Sarah laughed as she wiped the pent-up tears from her eyes. "You're such a goof."

"I know."

Sarah reached up to lay her hand along her lover's cheek. "I love that about you."

Jordan's smile was brilliant. "I love you, too."

Their lips came together in a gentle, loving caress and Sarah wound her arms around Jordan, pulling her down into a tight embrace. "Are we okay?"

"Yes, little one. There are still things we need to talk about, but we're okay."

Sarah let herself float in the safety of the moment, but then she remembered Pete. She pushed Jordan back far enough that she could see into her eyes. "You need to talk to Pete. He knows about us."

Jordan frowned.

"He woke me up with coffee and an offer to help me get away from you. He was under the impression that you were manipulating me into everything."

Jordan growled and rolled away. She stood up and walked into the bathroom, only to come right back out. "What did you say?"

Sarah sat up. "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't understand why he would automatically assume the worst about you. I thought the two of you were pretty friendly."

Hands on hips, Jordan stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, the muscles in her jaw clenching. "How did he find out?"

Sarah left the bed and went to put her arms around Jordan. "I didn't think to ask. Maybe someone from the reception said something to him." It took a few moments, but Jordan began to relax. "I don't care if he knows, but it bothers me that he thought you might be the kind of person who would force me to do what you want. We need to work on your reputation."

Jordan chuckled as her arms surrounded Sarah. "I'll put it on my to-do list." She pulled back a little to smile down at Sarah. "Now, don't you have school today?"

Sarah groaned. "Don't remind me."

~***~

Sarah was trying to study in the university library when several things suddenly came together in her mind. Jordan is my Top! Not just when we played in the dungeon. I think I see her as my Top all the time. Maybe that's why I don't feel like we are really equals.

She sat back in her chair, her studies forgotten as she mulled it over. I think I want her to be the dominant one. I know I sometimes feel a little frustrated at how cautious she is about making sure that I feel I have control. So far, I've always been excited when she steps up and takes over. Like the first time we made love. We didn't discuss it first and it didn't just happen because we lost control. Jordan just decided for us and basically told me how it was going to be. I really liked that. It made me feel...free. Is that right? Did it free me somehow? Maybe.

The question now is: how much control do I want her to have? I know she's getting mixed messages about that. I don't feel like I am being inconsistent or confusing, but if she's not sure, I must be. Do I want to be her slave?

Sarah couldn't help a shiver of revulsion. Why does it have to be such a loaded word? Slavery is wrong. I can feel that in my bones. I know, I know...it's not really slavery because I have a choice about doing it and I can end it whenever I want, but I just really hate that word. Let's try submissive. Do I want to be Jordan's submissive? I already bottom for her in the dungeon. Being her submissive just takes the role out of the dungeon and makes it a more intrinsic part of our relationship. But if we do that, I come right back to the question of the hour. How much control do I want her to have? How much control over my life do I want to give up?

There was no easy answer. There was so much in the BDSM lifestyle that she just didn't know and hadn't experienced. How could she make a decision like that when she didn't really know what she would be getting into?

Sarah was almost late to her next class and, afterwards, she couldn't remember anything that had been covered. Fortunately, she was still recording her lectures. This was definitely one she would have to listen to later.

The evening drive was uneventful and Sarah was glad to get home. Once inside her house, she dropped everything by the door and took a deep breath. Jordan was not on the couch waiting for her, but there were boots under the coffee table. Sarah stepped over to the bedroom door and found Jordan sleeping in her bed. Folding her arms, she leaned against the door jamb and just looked.

I love that woman.

The intensity of the feeling brought tears to her eyes.

I love Jordan Crisp. Whether I am good enough for her or not, I love her. I think I always have. Why is it so hard for me to tell her that? It can't be that I fear rejection. Jordan has been offering me her heart without hesitation for months. That can't have been easy. Do I think she will stop loving me? No, I don't think that. And I can't see her becoming apathetic towards me. Maybe my fear is just an old habit. A habit I should work on kicking.

Sarah locked the front door and turned the heat up a few degrees. Stripping off her clothes, she crawled into bed and snuggled up to her deliciously warm lover.

Jordan's eyes didn't open, but a big smile broke out on her face as she pulled Sarah closer. "You're home."

Sarah hummed her pleasure in response.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Sarah answered. "Go back to sleep, sweetie."

It was dinner time when they woke up. Sarah put her arms over her head and savored a full-body stretch. Relaxing, she turned to look at Jordan. "Why are you smiling like that?"

Jordan shrugged with one shoulder. "You're just so damn beautiful."

Sarah blushed, but she loved hearing it. "You're just too charming for your own good."

The tall woman looked pleased. "I know. It should be illegal to be me."

Sarah chuckled. "How did it go with Pete? Did you talk to him?"

Jordan fell back on the bed with a groan. "Yeah, I did."

Concerned, Sarah leaned on an elbow so she could see Jordan's face. "Was it bad?"

"Not bad, really. Just complicated, I guess."

Sarah moved closer and put a hand in the valley between Jordan's breasts. "Are you alright?"

Jordan took a deep breath and lay a hand over Sarah's. "Yeah. I should have confided in him a long time ago. Aside from his concern for you, he was most upset that I have been hiding my gender from him all this time."

Sarah's eyes opened wide. "You told him?"

Jordan snorted a laugh. "He didn't believe me. I had to show him."

"What?"

Jordan mimed pulling a shirt open with a grin. "Yep. I had to show him the goods before he would listen. For a couple of minutes there, he was white. Or blind. I'm not real sure which."

Sarah wasn't sure whether to be upset or laugh. The idea of Jordan flashing her breasts at Pete made her feel a little crazy. "Why would he think you would lie about something like that?"

"I lied about being a man. Why wouldn't he think I was lying?"

It was an excellent point. One for which Sarah didn't have a comeback.

"Anyway, I think things are okay between us now. At least in regards to my gender. He's reserving judgement on my involvement with you." Jordan laughed softly. "I have been told in no uncertain terms that if I hurt you or break your heart, my heart will be torn out of my chest and shoved up my ass."

Sarah was horrified. "He actually said that to you?"

"Oh yeah." Jordan reached up to fluff the pillow behind her head. "If your parents weren't such jerks, I'd expect that little speech from your dad. I'm glad Pete has decided to become your champion. You couldn't have a better one."

Sarah had mixed feelings about that. "I'm not convinced that I need a champion, but if I do, I kind of thought it would be you."

"You do have me, baby. You do. But Pete will be a different kind of champion than I can be. I'm completely involved with you on an emotional level. Pete cares about you deeply, but he can be more objective. Maggie is your champion, too, and she will provide you things that the rest of us can't."

"Do you think I need champions?"

"We all need champions, little one. Not at every moment, of course, but it's always good to have people who will go to the wall for you when the shit hits the fan." Jordan cocked her head. "You've never had that. It will probably take some getting used to."

"Do you have champions?"

"Oh yeah. You, Maggie and Pete are the main ones, but there are a handful of players that would back me up in a heartbeat. Stephen would, too. He's my financial guy."

"The friend from college?"

Jordan nodded. "He's coming up in May for a week or so. You'll get to meet him then. You'll like him."

Sarah didn't really care one way or the other about Stephen, but she filed the information away. The phone rang as she opened her mouth to speak. Sarah sent an apology to Jordan with her eyes and reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Sarah. This is Amanda."

"Hi, Amanda. Or should I say Mrs. Bennett?"

Amanda's laugh was rich and full. Jordan pointed at the bathroom with a grimace and Sarah nodded. She watched as Jordan slipped out of bed and walked across the room. She has such a great ass.

"Amanda will do fine. I am not yet accustomed to the name change."

"Okay," Sarah said as she lay back on the bed. "I saw Pete this morning. He said the honeymoon was too short."

"Yes, I heard you had talked. I also heard that Jordan came out as a woman."

Sarah sighed. "I didn't know she was going to do that. I guess Pete was a little hard on her."

"Understandable, but in his defense, he is also quick to forgive. He will need some time to adjust, but he'll come around. He likes Jordan a great deal. He doesn't want to lose that friendship."

"That's good to know." Sarah wiggled her eyebrows at Jordan as she came back and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I am calling to ask if you would like to have lunch this week."

"Sure. That would be great. When?"

"I don't start back to work until next week, so we can get together any time that is convenient for you."

"Well, tomorrow is my short day," Sarah offered. "I've only got one class and it's over at noon. I can meet you somewhere at 12:30?"

"Perfect. Do you like Mexican food?"

"Yes."

"There's a little place called Compadres on the corner of Ninth and Baxter. Will that work for you?"

"I'll be there."

"Very good. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Okay."

Sarah hung up the phone and smiled at Jordan. "I have a date."

"With a married woman."

"It's still a date," she teased.

Jordan rolled her eyes. "Right. If she put the moves on you, you'd faint."

"Probably," Sarah laughed.

"I would, too," Jordan admitted with a grin.

It seemed weird that they were both talking about Amanda that way. "I am attracted to her. I mean, who wouldn't be, but I don't really want her."

"I know, baby. I feel the same way. She has an extraordinary sensual magnetism about her, but it's so strong that it almost acts as a barrier to keep people away. I've met a few other people like that and they are usually very lonely. It's a lot like people of exceptional beauty who have a hard time finding someone who will see past the surface and see the beauty underneath. I'm very glad that she and Pete found each other."

"Me, too. I think they'll be one of those couples that stays together forever."

"I hope so." Jordan smiled. "I should probably get going so you can study."

Sarah shook her head before she had time to consider it.

"Or I can stay."

Feeling suddenly vulnerable, Sarah sat up and put her arms around Jordan's neck for a tight hug. Jordan immediately wrapped Sarah up in long arms.

"It's okay, little one. I've got you. It's okay."

They sat that way for a long time. Sarah wanted to talk, but she just didn't know where to start. Especially now that she had made such a dramatic gesture of emotional instability. She finally settled on, "I'm sorry."

"For what, little one?"

Sarah's grip lightened and she sighed. "I just wanted to talk and now I've made it all dramatic."

Jordan shook her head. "This isn't dramatic, baby, and I think it's an excellent start for a conversation. What's on your mind?"

Sarah sighed again. "It's just that I spent all day thinking about what we talked about this morning and I came to some more conclusions. Some of them are kind of confusing."

"Okay," Jordan said easily. "Let's get more comfortable."

They ended up side by side on the bed, legs intertwined and facing each other. Sarah stared at the base of Jordan's throat until a large hand tilted her head up and their eyes met.

"It's just me, baby, and I love you desperately. You can tell me anything and I'll listen."

Sarah knew she had to start somewhere so she blurted out the realization that had started it all. "You're my Top."

"I know."

"No. I mean...you're my Top."

Jordan's eyes narrowed in concentration. "I understand what you're saying, but I'm not sure what you mean."

Sarah bit her lip as she tried to think of a way to explain. "I don't know how to verbalize what that means. It feels so profound to me. So important. You're my Top."

"Okay," Jordan said slowly. "What does Top mean to you? What is a Top?"

"The one in control. The one with the power."

"So, when you say that I am your Top, you are saying that I am the one who has the control and power in our relationship?"

Sarah opened her mouth to say yes and then realized that there was more to it. "No. I think I'm saying that I choose for you to have the control and power. I think that I'm your submissive."

A slow smile spread over Jordan's face. "I think it should be obvious that I am very happy with that choice. But, how do you feel about it?"

"I'm a little confused about it. I don't remember making a choice to be your submissive. I just sort of realized that I am. But I'm not sure what it means to be your submissive. How will things change?"

"First, let's figure out what you think it means to be a submissive. Do you think you have to act differently?"

Sarah bit her lip again. "Yes?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Not really."

"Okay. The way I see it, if you already feel like you are my sub, then you are. I don't see any need for you to learn a new way to act submissive. Maybe what you need to figure out is how you want to express your submission. We also need to figure out how you want me to express my dominance. That might actually be easier for you to define."

Sarah frowned. "See, it feels like you are making it all about what I want. Again. When are you going to tell me what you want? And please don't say you just want me to be happy. I feel like I'm flying blind here and I need some help."

"I have to worry about riding rough-shod over your needs and desires, little one. It is in the nature of dominants to be too aggressive and demanding. The line between dominance and emotional abuse is all but invisible."

"I accept that," Sarah said patiently, "but maybe you could be just a little more aggressive and demanding? It's like the play lists. It wasn't until I read yours that I started to get an idea of what I really wanted. Maybe I need to hear what you want before I can open up to what I want. You can trust me to be honest, you know."

Jordan smiled. "I do know. But, let me ask you some questions first to clarify things. What I'm hearing is that you would like the Dominant/submissive aspect of our relationship to be more inclusive than limited to playing in the dungeon. Is that correct?"

It felt like a huge step to admit it. Sarah swallowed her butterflies and nodded.

"All right. I am also hearing that you want me to take more control in our interactions. Is that correct?"

Arousal began to burn within Sarah. "Yes," she whispered.

"And our love-making? Do you want that to change?"

"Not change," Sarah said slowly.

"But...?"

"I still want to be able to make love to you, but sometimes...maybe you could be more..."

"Like in the dungeon?"

Sarah nodded. "But, I'm not at all unhappy with us...with the way we..."

"I understand," Jordan interrupted.

"Do you? I'm not hurting your feelings?"

"Are you kidding?" Jordan took one of Sarah's hands and lay it over her heart. "Do you feel that?"

Not only was Jordan's heart racing at an unbelievable pace, it was pounding really hard. Sarah looked at her hand in disbelief and then up into Jordan's blue eyes. "You need to calm down before something explodes."

Jordan burst out laughing. Sarah was too concerned to join in. She kept her hand on the beating organ while Jordan howled. It began to slow and she started to relax. When Jordan was almost in control, she said, "This is very exciting for you."

"You could say that," Jordan said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "Is it exciting for you?"

Sarah grinned shyly. "Yeah."

"Good." Jordan took a deep breath and let it out noisily. "I really needed that. Thank you."

"You're welcome, I guess."

"Whew!" Jordan lifted Sarah's hand and kissed it before putting it back on her chest. "Okay. What else was confusing you today?"

Sarah snuggled back into the tall woman's side and lay her head on a strong shoulder. "I spent a lot of time today trying to figure out how much control I want you to have."

"What did you decide?"

"I don't know. I'm having a hard time figuring out how it's possible to be independent and submissive at the same time. Some of the books I read said that the best submissives are really strong and independent people. That just doesn't make any sense to me."

"Weak, dependent personalities require nurturing, not dominating. It is the strong personalities that make domination rewarding. Imagine two dogs. One is growling at you and standing his ground. The other one is crawling on the ground pissing itself. Which one would you rather dominate? Personally, dominating the one that is crawling would just make me feel like an asshole. But, to work with the other one and watch it grow and change would be exhilarating. Not that I am comparing you to a dog, mind you."

The metaphor made sense to Sarah in a way that the books failed to do. "Do you think I need a lot of work?"

"No! I think you are perfect the way you are, baby. I'm excited about all of this, yes, but more because you want it than because I want it. I do not require this of you. Do you understand that?"

Sarah relaxed. "Yes. I think so. It's just that the way I see myself is changing. I'm really not sure what I'm getting myself into."

"Do you see this as something that is going to happen to you?"

Sarah thought it over. "I think I did. But that isn't right, is it?"

"No, baby. It's not. If it's happening to you, it's abuse. If it's something you are participating in with me, then it's D/s. Does that make sense?"

"Actually, it does. You should write a book. You make more sense than the stuff I read. I don't feel nearly as confused as I did. I still don't understand how all of this works, but I'm not as afraid of it."

"That's good, baby."

Sarah gathered her courage for what she would say next. "I want you to spank me."

There was a moment's hesitation. "Why?"

Sarah lifted her head so she could look at Jordan. "I don't know if I like it or not. It seems like I should know."

Jordan frowned and then relaxed. "No."

"What?"

"No. I won't spank you until the day you come to me and convince me that you need it in the same way that you need air to breathe."

"But...how will I know if I need it unless I know whether or not I like it?"

"It's not about whether or not you like it," Jordan said seriously. "It's about whether or not you need it. If you do, you'll know it."

"Oh."

"Trust me on this one, baby."

"Okay." Sarah lay her head back down. She felt a little disappointed, but she was relieved as well. The fact that she felt relief told her that Jordan was probably right.

Several minutes passed in comfortable silence and then Jordan spoke. "I will not interfere with your schooling or the time you need for study. I know how important it is to you. It's important to me as well."

"Thank you."

"You will make yourself available to dress me before every party. I enjoy that a great deal. On party nights, you will sleep in my room. I will sleep here on the other nights. Unless there is a good reason otherwise, you will attend the Sunday night parties with me. You will wear what I tell you to wear and do what I tell you to do during the party. Understood?"

Sarah shivered with excitement. "Yes."

Jordan's arms tightened. "I'm your Top, little one. You're mine now."

Sarah almost cried at the happiness she felt.

~***~

Amanda looked great. Sarah dropped down into the chair across from her with a big grin. "Hey."

Amanda looked up from her menu with a mysterious smile. "Hey yourself."

"Am I late?"

"Not at all. Thank you for taking time out of your day to spend with me."

Sarah made a face. "You don't have to thank me for this. I've been wanting to get to know you better."

Amanda's smile was amazing. "Likewise."

Sarah reached for a menu. "What's good here?"

"Everything. They've only been open for a few weeks. Six months from now you won't be able to get a table without a reservation."

"That good?"

"Better."

The next ten minutes were spent perusing the menu together and ordering their choices. When the waiter left, Sarah brushed her hair back with both hands and smiled at her lunch date. "I didn't get a chance before to tell you congratulations on your wedding. I loved the ceremony and your dress was gorgeous."

"Thank you."

"I have some pretty good pictures from the reception. I've got them on a disc in my backpack. If you want them," she offered tentatively.

"I would love them. It's very sweet of you to offer them."

Sarah shrugged as she dug in her backpack for the disc. "It was fun to do. Mostly I took pictures of other people. It seemed like everyone was concentrating on you and Pete. Which totally makes sense, but I thought you might like pictures of the rest of the guests. I got one I really like of your dads." She found the disc and slid it across the table to Amanda.

"Thank you for this. And thank you for the windchimes. Did you have a chance to listen to them? They sound like rain."

"I thought so, too," Sarah said with some surprise.

"The metal ones can become annoying so quickly, but the ones you gave us are wonderful. I can't imagine ever getting tired of them."

"I'm really glad you liked them."

Amanda leaned forward with a lop-sided grin. "I understand congratulations are in order for you and Jordan as well."

Sarah blushed shyly. "Pete told you."

"I suspected at Halloween. I knew at New Year's."

Sarah laughed nervously. "Even I didn't know at New Year's."

"It can be difficult to see clearly in matters of the heart."

"Ain't that the truth," Sarah sighed.

Amanda laughed softly. "In any case, I am happy for you both."

"Thanks."

"Did you really tell my husband that you found the right man?"

"I did," Sarah grinned.

"You are too funny."

"It was all I could think of without totally lying to him. By the way, how did he find out? Was it someone from the reception? We might have been a little obvious towards the end there."

"There's video," Amanda said with a wiggle of her elegant eyebrows.

"Oh God," Sarah groaned.

Laughing, Amanda leaned forward to pat Sarah's arm. "It's not bad, Sarah. In fact, the way you two move together is exquisite. Have you heard of Torvill and Dean?"

"No."

"They were British ice dancers in the eighties and nineties. My mother loved them. She has tapes of every televised performance they ever did. Not only were they brilliant technically, but the way they moved together was ethereal. I've never seen any other couple dance with the connection they had...until I watched you and Jordan ballroom dancing. It was beautiful."

The sincerity of Amanda's words was clear and Sarah wasn't sure what to say. It felt beautiful to dance with Jordan, but she hadn't been aware that others could see it. Knowing made her feel a little like she was naked.

"Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"Jordan has been teaching me," Sarah said.

"I'm jealous. Not only that you can dance like that, but that the chances of Peter ever learning how to be that graceful are so slim."

Sarah had to grin. Pete was not an ungraceful man, but he would never have Jordan's agility of movement. "I'd pay good money to watch Jordan try to teach him."

Amanda threw her head back with a laugh. "So would I!"

There were complimentary chips and salsa on the table and Sarah reached for them. The chips were warm and the salsa was delicious. "Wow," she said after swallowing. "This is really good."

Amanda followed suit. "You can buy the salsa to take home if you like."

"Oh, I like. Jordan will love this stuff." Amanda was grinning at her. "What?"

"You're just so adorable."

Sarah blushed.

"You do not seem to be quite the same woman you were at the Halloween party. You are more relaxed, more confident. It suits you."

Sarah sipped her ice water to give herself a moment to think. "I don't feel precisely the same. I'm happier for one."

"It's obvious."

"I'm not sure if I feel like that is a good thing or a bad thing."

"How could it be a bad thing?"

Sarah shrugged. "Being happier is a good thing, but having my emotions so clear to other people makes me feel...vulnerable. I don't mind it with Jordan and Maggie. Or even with you. But with most people, I'm not sure I want them to see how I feel."

"That's understandable."

She remembered Lisa's vicious verbal attack with a shudder. "People can be really mean."

"True, but most of the time they aren't. I find that being happy and allowing it to show usually works to my advantage. People like being around those who are happy. Most of the time, people will go out of their way to contribute to the happiness they see in others. A smile, a courtesy; something small, yet still valuable. It is rare that happiness will spark a negative reaction. When it does, you are not obligated to participate. Just move on and let it go."

Sarah sighed. "I'll have to work on that."

"The more secure you are in your happiness, the easier it is."

She sighed again as that statement hit home. "That's a tough one for me."

"Feeling secure?"

"Yeah."

"It takes time."

"I can't even tell her that I love her," Sarah blurted out. "I feel it...Oh God, I feel it...but I can't make the words come out of my mouth. She tells me all the time, but I can't say it. Sometimes I feel like I will choke if I don't let the words out, but I just can't make myself do it. I feel like such a jerk."

The waiter chose that moment to return with their food. Sarah sat back quietly and let Amanda handle it. She felt foolish for dumping that information out there and wasn't sure how to recover.

It only took moments for the waiter to arrange the table and retreat. Embarrassed, Sarah couldn't look up into Amanda's eyes, but she could feel the dark eyes on her, waiting for her. The warm and spicy smell of her food gave Sarah something to talk about. "This smells so good."

Amanda chuckled softly and reached for the sour cream. "Yes, it does."

Simply put, it was the best Mexican food Sarah had ever eaten. Conversation took a back seat to their enjoyment of the meal. The portions were quite large and Sarah was very nearly in danger of exploding when she finally cleared her plate. Leaning back in her seat, she groaned and rubbed her bloated belly. "Oh my God. I ate way too much. I think I need a nap."

Amanda mirrored Sarah's pose with a smile. "How about we go for a stroll to work some of this off?"

"I'm not sure I can. You might have to roll me out the door."

Ten minutes later, lunch was paid for and Sarah carried a large jar of salsa in one arm. They headed for Sarah's car to drop it off before beginning their walk.

"I always loved this car," Amanda said of the sleek Jaguar. "It's nice of Jordan to let you drive it."

"Oh, it's mine now," Sarah grinned. "Jordan sold it to me for a thousand dollars because Cirenio couldn't get the smell out."

Amanda's cultured eyebrows rose. "What smell?"

Sarah told the story while they walked and had a good laugh about it with Amanda. "I was a little surprised how much it cost to get it registered. Not to mention that my insurance went through the roof. I'm thinking about trading it in for something cheaper and more fuel efficient, but I'm not sure how Jordan will feel about it."

"Have you asked her?"

"Not yet. I think I should have an idea what I want to trade it for first. You know, have all my ducks in a row."

"And if she says no?"

Sarah hadn't considered that. She found herself feeling indignant about it and it hadn't even happened yet. "You're right," she said thoughtfully. "It's my car now. I should be able to do what I want with it."

"I'm sure you will," Amanda said smoothly. "Although, you are probably right to want to tell her first. I was just curious if you were asking permission."

"No," Sarah said quickly. "Well, maybe a little. I don't want to hurt her feelings. The Jag is a beautiful car. I just don't think it's an everyday kind of car for me. It makes me feel like I'm putting on airs."

"Heaven forbid."

Sarah laughed at the teasing tone. "It does! I'm just not the kind of person who can feel comfortable driving a fancy car all the time."

Amanda smiled, but she kept her eyes on the street. "One of the things I like so much about you is that in spite of your extraordinary beauty, you are real."

Sarah tripped over her feet and would have fallen flat on her face but for Amanda's quick grasp of her arm.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Sarah said with a blush as she got her balance back. Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she gave a tiny smile to her new friend. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Sarah fell back into step with Amanda. "Um, I'm not sure how to ask this without sounding like I am fishing for a compliment, but you really think I'm pretty?"

"No. I think you are the most beautiful white woman I've ever seen."

Sarah halted and stared at the dark woman in confusion. "Are you serious?"

Amanda stopped and turned to face Sarah. "Yes."

Shaking her head, Sarah sighed. "I don't see it. In fact, I've thought the same thing about you. Except for the white bit."

Amanda's smile brightened the entire street. "Thank you."

She had to smile at the pleasure in Amanda's face. "You're welcome."

Amanda released a short laugh and gestured at the street. "I wonder if they realize it."

Sarah looked at the few other people she could see. "Realize what?"

"The two most beautiful women in the world are passing by. They must feel so blessed."

Sarah laughed so hard she snorted. That made both of them laugh even harder. There was a wooden bench outside of a jewelry store and Sarah dropped onto it to catch her breath. Amanda sat down next to her and put an arm along the back of the bench. It was a few minutes before they could look at each other without laughing.

"So," Amanda began. "Tell me why you can't tell Jordan you love her."

Sarah sighed, but she did not lose her smile. "I don't know. I can feel the words on the tip of my tongue every time I look at her, but my throat closes up."

"Hmm."

"I did say it once by accident. I freaked out. It was horrible."

"Maybe you just care for her. It doesn't have to be love."

Sarah considered her feelings. "I guess that's possible, but my feelings...if it's not love, I can't imagine what it would feel like. And I don't have any problem telling you and Maggie that I love her. It's just that I can't say it to Jordan."

Amanda nodded, her eyes far away for a moment. "What does it mean to you?"

"Mean?" Sarah concentrated on trying to comprehend exactly what Amanda was asking her.

"If you were to tell her that you love her, what would telling her mean to you?"

"Ah," she breathed in understanding. She did not have a ready answer. Staring off across the street, yet not really seeing anything, Sarah let herself think about it. At first, nothing was coming clear. Then she tried visualizing saying the words to Jordan. Her eyes suddenly opened wide. "It's the commitment."

Amanda made a humming noise of understanding.

Sarah felt a bit as if she were in shock as things clarified for her. "It's not about whether or not I love her," she mused aloud. "Saying it is like a promise. I'm not sure I'm ready to make promises."

With a grimace for the predicament she found herself in, Sarah looked up at Amanda. "I had a plan. I'm almost done with school. It's time to start putting out feelers on a job that will teach me more about running a business. It could be anywhere. I'll work that job until I'm ready to work for myself. It will be years before I am ready to settle down; years before I can make a commitment to Jordan. She shouldn't have to wait that long and it wouldn't be fair of me to ask her to."

"So, your relationship with Jordan is only temporary?"

Sarah gaped like a fish. When she realized it, she shut her mouth with a snap. Was that what she was doing with Jordan? Was it really only a temporary relationship? Not only did it feel wrong to think of what they had that way, just considering it made her feel like a jerk of the first order. "No," she said finally. "At least, I hope not."

"Then it sounds to me like you need a new plan."

"Just like that?" she asked doubtfully.

"Sure," Amanda said casually. "Why not? Wasn't the purpose of going to school in the first place to give yourself more choices? More options?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

Amanda turned towards Sarah just a bit and resettled. "It seems to me that you have quite a few options now. Yes, you could get a job somewhere else. Or you could focus on finding something local. From what I understand, your academic standing is quite high. If you were to look for something local, you could pick and choose. You won't be forced to consider a managerial position in the fast food industry."

Sarah had to smile at the thought of that.

"There are many large and small businesses here. Any of them would fall all over themselves to get someone of your caliber. Moving away does not have to be a necessity in getting the experience you desire."

"That's true," Sarah conceded.

"Another consideration," Amanda continued, "is that you could continue your education. I have no doubt that Jordan would be thrilled to finance your education."

Sarah shook her head. "No. I don't want to use her like that."

"She may not consider it as being used."

"But, I would."

Amanda nodded in concession. "In any case, my point is that your choices and options are not fixed in stone. Just because you had a plan does not mean that you cannot change that plan and still achieve your original goals. Getting to this point may have required a certain amount of inflexibility, but everything is different now. You got where you needed to be in order to have more control over your life. Now it may be time to reconsider the direction you want your life to take."

"I see what you are saying," Sarah said thoughtfully. "I have a lot to consider."

"Maybe not so much as you think."

"What do you mean?"

"For the first year after you graduate, what few things do you want the most in your life?"

The answer was easy. "Jordan and a job."

"There you go," Amanda said with a smile. "All you have to figure out is how to blend those two things."

It sounded so simple and Sarah realized in an instant that it really was that simple. It did not have to be a complicated, gut-wrenching decision. She realized that she had always assumed that she would end up working for a large corporation after her schooling was done, but was that the best experience for learning how to start her own business? Maybe it would be better to work for a smaller company where she could learn all aspects of running a company instead of focusing on one department. If that was the best option for her, then finding something local meant that she was not sacrificing her future by staying. And if that was true, then staying meant that she could keep Jordan without jeopardizing her career plans.

Sarah felt that a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she could not help laughing at how much freer she felt. She turned to Amanda with a wide smile. "Is there anything else you can offer to make my life easier?"

"I do have an observation," she stated with calm amusement.

"Go for it."

Amanda seemed to think it over for a few seconds. "The moment of committing to a serious relationship is different for everyone."

Sarah's smile faded as she tried to understand. "I'm not sure what you are saying."

"For me, the moment in which I committed myself to a lifelong relationship with Peter was during our first serious argument. For Peter, it was actually saying 'I do' at the wedding; which is not to say that he was not committed before that moment. It just did not become a fundamental part of his being until that moment. He needed the formality of the ceremony to make that leap. Arriving at the moment where love transcends into commitment is different for everyone. I think for you, it will be when you can look Jordan in the eye and tell her that you love her. If that is true, then you should not push yourself to tell her until you are sure. For you, it is not just about telling her how you feel. When you say 'I love you', it will be for keeps."

Sarah let the words settle in her gut. It felt right. Not being able to say the words suddenly didn't seem so bad. She knew it was probably still hard for Jordan to not hear them, but now she understood that there was a good reason for withholding them. It was not arbitrary or selfish on her part. Some of the guilt she felt dissipated. "Wow. I think you are right."

"Jordan is a very lucky woman."

Warmth filled Sarah and brought tears to her eyes. "I'm the lucky one."

~***~

"Having your arms up like that only adds stress to the muscles, sweetie. Put your arms down along your sides."

Face down on Sarah's bed, Jordan moved her arms down with a flinch and a groan. "Really hurts," she rasped.

"Are you sure you shouldn't see a doctor?"

"No. It's just a cramp."

Sarah had come home to find Jordan curled up on her bed complaining of back pain. After stripping the androgynous woman's upper body, Sarah had warmed massage oil and was now seated on Jordan's legs. Rubbing the vanilla-scented oil between her hands, she placed them in the small of Jordan's back. "Where does it hurt?"

"The left side," Jordan directed. "Up a bit...Oh God...right there."

Sarah could feel the knot of muscle causing Jordan pain. It was tight and warm to the touch. "I feel it. How did you do this?"

"Ugh...leaned over to pick up a piece of paper."

"That's it?"

"Yep. It's hell getting old."

Sarah smiled as her hands began gently working the cramp. "You're not old, sweetie."

Jordan made a grunting noise that could have meant anything or nothing. Except for the occasional groan or hiss from Jordan, the next ten minutes were quiet. Sarah gradually increased the pressure of her touch, hoping that she was doing it right and not making the problem worse. She was so focused on what she was doing that she actually felt the cramp dissipate with a nearly audible pop. Jordan gave a long, shuddering sigh and relaxed bonelessly into the bed.

"Better?" Sarah asked.

"Unnghhmmmggrrr."

Grinning, Sarah spread her hands out to do the rest of her lover's back. She loved touching Jordan. It was almost like the skin of her hands was a brand new sensory organ. At times she swore that she could see, taste and hear through her hands. It was an extraordinary sense and usually made her feel like she was high. Today was one of those times.

Jordan had such a beautiful body. She was strong and muscular, but she also had the wonderful softness of women. Sarah leaned over to place a gentle kiss between Jordan's shoulder blades. "You are so beautiful," she whispered.

"Glad you think so," Jordan murmured.

Sarah turned her face to rub her cheek against the warm flesh. "I don't think you're beautiful. You just are. So soft and warm. You always smell so nice."

Jordan purred. "Feels so good."

Sarah sat back and peeled of her shirt and bra. She needed to feel the skin on skin of their bodies. The room was just a touch cool and her nipples tightened pleasurably. Shifting forward, she lay down on Jordan's back. Moving her hands down the long arms, she wound their fingers together. "I am so lucky," she breathed.

"I don't know about that," Jordan said softly. "Seems to me like I'm the lucky one."

"Nope," Sarah said as she snuggled deeper into the long body beneath her. "It's definitely me. I'm the lucky one."

They lay quietly for several minutes and Sarah felt her heart expanding. She wanted so badly to tell Jordan how she was feeling, but once again the words were trapped behind her teeth. Finally, in frustration, she blurted out, "Just because I can't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it."

Jordan started to lift her head and then stopped. There was a tension in the lean frame that hadn't been there moments before. Sarah held her breath.

"Lift up so I can turn over, baby."

Sarah shifted to let her lover roll over, uncertain of what she would find in Jordan's eyes. The handsome features were very carefully composed and Sarah reached up to caress a cheek. "I feel it," she whispered.

"Are we talking about the L word?"

Sarah nodded and watched hope bloom in the blue eyes.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes," she admitted.

Tears welled up in Jordan's eyes. "Are you in love with me?"

As impossible as it was to actually say the words, it was a relief to answer that question. "Yes, I am."

The big woman began to cry. Sarah ached for her and quickly gathered her close. "I'm so sorry, Jordan. I wish I could say it myself. I feel it and think about it all the time, but the words just won't come out. I've been trying so hard and I just can't. But, I do feel it. So much."

Jordan cried hard for several minutes and then stopped. She was smiling as Sarah cleaned the tears from her face.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"Don't be, little one."

"I know it must be hard to continually tell me you love me and not get anything back."

Jordan reached up with both hands to cradle Sarah's face. "That's not true, little one. I get back plenty. The way you look at me. The way you touch me. The way you take care of me. Don't ever think that telling you I love you is a hardship for me."

"But..."

"I know that you love me, Sarah. I've known for a long time. And I know that your current inability to verbalize your feelings has nothing to do with me. It's not because I'm scary or remote or unlovable. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to say it out loud. You tell me how you feel all the time in other ways."

"Then...why were you crying?"

Jordan shrugged. "Just happier than usual, I guess."

The goofy look on Jordan's face made Sarah smile. She leaned forward and gave Jordan a kiss. "I like making you happy," she said softly.

"You're very, very good at it," Jordan answered as their lips met again.

The kiss deepened and passion rose quickly. It was always this way for Sarah. A look, a touch, a smile, an innocent kiss: the smallest thing could awaken the hunger. It was like an addiction. Sarah lost herself in the taste and feel of Jordan's mouth, their skin merging, the warmth of their bodies. She could not get enough and Jordan was right there with her. Hands roamed, clutched, pulled, caressed and the fire grew.

"Off, off."

Sarah could feel Jordan's hands trying to remove her slacks and she was suddenly desperate to be naked. Rolling to one side, they worked together to get them off. She used her toes to push her socks off and kicked her slacks and underwear away. Reaching for Jordan's jeans, she tugged them open and began to pull them down. The dildo-of-the-day sprang to attention and Sarah hesitated.

Jordan reached down to release the straps holding it on and Sarah stopped her. A new hunger filled her. Leaving Jordan's jeans halfway down her legs, she climbed back up her lover's body and captured her mouth in a desperate kiss. The dildo was trapped between them, feeling warm, yet new and awkward. The disparity in their height put the latex toy right between Sarah's legs. Rubbing her liquid sex along the rigid length was almost accidental.

It felt delicious. Sarah rose up for a better angle and did it again. She was staring right down into Jordan's eyes and could see the naked longing there. She could also see a bit of uncertainty. They stared into each other's eyes as Sarah began to rock. It was strange, but she knew in a heartbeat that she could come this way. Her eyes closed as she enjoyed the sensations. Warm hands closed over her breasts, kneading and tugging at her nipples.

"That's it, baby," Jordan said huskily.

Sarah concentrated on the power of what she was feeling. It wasn't long before she wanted more. Moving carefully, she let the tip of the dildo find the entrance to her vagina. She opened her eyes and looked down at Jordan. "I want you to have it," she whispered.

"Are you sure? You only get this moment once. I want you to be sure."

Sarah nodded slowly, passion making it hard to do anything but feel. "Take it."

Jordan shook her head. "It's yours to give, baby."

She knew it was going to hurt. Just the little bit of pressure she was using to hold the dildo in place was causing discomfort. She had always assumed that when the time came, Jordan would be the one to take her past that pain. It was harder to cause it to herself.

"It's up to you, little one. You don't have to do this."

Sarah was slowly shifting her hips, her entire body throbbing and seeking relief. "I want to," she breathed.

"Then give it to me."

It felt like an order. Sarah obeyed. For the first few seconds there was a tearing pain and she sighed with relief when it disappeared. In the next moment, she could feel her insides grasping for more. Staring down into Jordan's teary eyes, she slowly lowered her body until she was fully impaled. The fullness was new and different, but it felt surprisingly good.

"Oh my God," Jordan cried softly. "Oh my God."

Sarah closed her eyes and groaned. Her head fell back as she straightened and she moved her hips around the new sensations. Everything had intensified. Leaning forward again, she put her hands on Jordan's shoulders and slowly lifted her hips until the dildo was just barely inside of her. She slid back down until she was full with another groan. It was so very different than anything she had felt before. Her pleasure had shifted and was coming from a new, undiscovered place. It was powerful and yet vague. She didn't understand it, but she needed it.

Sarah began a slow rhythm of rising and falling. Jordan was watching her with rabid fascination, tears streaming down the sides of her face. "Am I hurting you?" Sarah asked breathlessly.

"God, no. You're just...you're so beautiful, baby."

Speaking was so hard, but Sarah had to ask. "Is it supposed to feel like this?"

"Like what? How does it feel?"

Trying to think of how to describe it just made the feelings stronger. The motions were new to her, but she was catching on quickly. Sarah let her whole body get into it, rocking back and forth on the latex shaft. "Feels...so big. The feelings, I mean. So strong."

"It's okay, little one. I've got you. Just let yourself go. I'll protect you."

The feelings spread like a warmth, but they were tangible, too. Like there was something growing inside of her. She could hear herself moaning and it only added to the wonderful sensations. One of Jordan's hands left her breast and moved down to fondle her clitoris. The intensity of her pleasure expanded and Sarah found herself on the edge of climax. She hovered there for an eternity and then imploded.

Helpless in the magnitude of her orgasm, Sarah slumped to Jordan's chest and struggled to breathe as her body continued to pulse and throb. She shivered uncontrollably as waves of pleasure echoed within her. She felt Jordan enfold her firmly and was grateful for the love and security being offered.

"How do you feel?" Jordan asked after a time.

"I don't know," she said weakly.

"Take your time, love."

"I didn't expect to enjoy it," she admitted. "I feel...embarrassed."

"Don't be embarrassed, baby. It was the most beautiful, incredible thing I've ever known. As long as I live I will remember this gift. Not just the gift of your virginity, but the pleasure you took in giving it. And the pleasure you gave me in the giving."

Sarah lifted her head to look for the truth and found it in Jordan's eyes. "You came?"

"Twice," Jordan grinned sheepishly.

"Really?"

"I couldn't help it. You are just so damn beautiful and exciting. I hope it's like that for you every time."

Sarah slid her arms under Jordan's torso and hugged her with all of her strength. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, little one." Large hands roamed soothingly over Sarah's back. "I should pull out soon, babe."

"Don't wanna," she moaned. "Want you there all the time. It still feels good."

"You're going to be sore, baby."

"I don't care. I'm not sore now."

Jordan chuckled. "I can't tell you how glad I am that you liked it. I wasn't sure if you would."

Sarah lifted her head and rested her chin between Jordan's breasts. "I've heard straight girls talk about it. I don't think they like it that much. Once in a while, but usually not. I think I expected it to be interesting, but not like...that."

"It may not be like that every time, baby. This time you were ready and you controlled it. That may have a great deal to do with how it felt. I'm really glad your first time was so good, but the next time might be different. If it is, it's not a failing on your part. It's just a different time and place. Take each time as its own thing, okay?"

Sarah smiled. "Okay."

Jordan reached down to her hips and released the harness. Grasping Sarah's hips, she flipped them over. Hovering over Sarah, she smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "Let it come out on it's own, baby."

Sarah wrapped her legs around Jordan's waist. "Sure you don't want to give it another go?"

Jordan laughed. "Not today. Give it a couple of days to let yourself heal and then I'll take you for a spin."

Sarah grinned. "It's a date."

She laid on the bed with her knees spread as Jordan went into the bathroom and came back with a hand towel and a wet washcloth. The dildo was slowly sliding out on its own and she enjoyed the feeling, even if it was kind of weird. Jordan put the hand towel down to catch the dildo and began to wipe Sarah clean with the warm washcloth.

"Did I bleed a lot?"

"Some. Not too much."

Sarah sighed regretfully as her vagina expelled the toy, but she was enjoying the attentions of her lover. The warm cloth was especially nice. "That feels good."

Jordan smiled as she wrapped the harness and toy and set it aside. "Maybe I'll have it bronzed."

"I dare you."

One elegant eyebrow rose. "I accept."

Sarah's eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

"I will. And I'll hang it on my bedpost as a trophy."

Sarah wasn't sure if Jordan would actually do it and she thought she should take exception to the trophy comment, but she pictured it in her mind and found the image intriguing. If Jordan had said she would hang it in her office it would have been different, but Sarah rather liked the idea of seeing it hanging on the bed. "Okay."

A brief flicker of surprise was followed by a look of satisfaction. Jordan smiled and returned her gaze to her task.

Sarah felt almost boneless as she watched Jordan tending her. It felt so right to have herself exposed like this and Jordan right there. Feelings of love rose up. "I feel it," she said quietly.

Jordan's smile was luminous. "I know you do, little one. I love you, too."

Continued...