Chapter Three

One by one, the tents of Lilith and her followers were taken down and carefully stowed in the wagons. Many hands made light work of it, since nearly a hundred Amazons came out to help. The atmosphere was a strange mix of joy and sadness, and the air was filled with long stretches of Amazon work songs, followed by equal, more restful spaces of gentle Sumerian melodies - each oddly complimenting the other.

When the horses were all hitched to the wagons and the last of the gear was secured, everyone slowly moved inside the city and gathered around the central square before the doors of the council house. In front of the assembled throng of hundreds of women - and one man - Ephiny and Gabrielle embraced Lilith warmly.

"Lilith," Ephiny announced, "the Amazon nation has been fortunate indeed to have known you and your followers. You'll always have a special place in our hearts, and we'll miss you. All of you will be welcome if the Fates ever allow you to return."

Lilith laughed sadly. "Oh Ephiny, return we cannot, for that is not our path. However," the Priestess turned to address the crowd, "five of our priestesses and their acolytes wish to stay, if you will accept them. Jocelyn, you and the rest may come forward." She motioned to a petite, dark-haired woman standing near the front of the crowd, who separated from the rest of the priestesses, followed by nine other women.

"Regent Ephiny, Queen Gabrielle," Jocelyn announced, "we've seen the devotion the Amazons feel towards Inanna, and it would be sad indeed if that devotion were to grow dim. It would be great pleasure if you allowed us to stay here, build a small temple, and keep alive the teachings of the Goddess."

Ephiny and Gabrielle shared a brief, knowing look. Lilith had sent word early that morning that some of her followers would be staying, and Gabrielle had reworked the Letter of Debt in anticipation. "Well," the bard began, "Petitions for citizenship have to be approved by the council." She turned to the half dozen village elders who stood in ranks behind her. "What does the council think?"

The stunned elders looked at each other for several moments, then Althena, the Council leader, spoke up. "The uh, Council has no objections."

Gabrielle turned back to the dark-haired priestess and the women with her. "Then as Queen I welcome you to the Amazon nation. May you and your descendants enrich our land and our people." A loud, sustained cheer broke out from the crowd as Jocelyn and the others walked over and hugged Ephiny, Gabrielle, and the rest of the Council in turn.

When things had calmed down a little, Lilith raised a hand. "Gabrielle, Ephiny and assembled Council, you should know also that five of my Guardians wish to join you as well, and serve their lives defending the Amazon Nation. Dulith?"

Five of the guards stepped forward, led by one of the younger women. Dulith spoke, "Amazons, your discipline and devotion to self-defense are a joy and pleasure to us. Although it pains us to leave our beloved Lilith, the Amazon way has stolen our hearts. We ask that you find us worthy to continue the training we've begun here, and help defend the Nation in its times of trouble."

Smiling, Gabrielle turned to the elders. "Sounds OK to me."

Althena didn't even look at the others, who were all nodding enthusiastically anyway. "Of course. They're fine warriors. They can probably teach us a few things."

"Then it's settled," Gabrielle agreed. "Pending official ceremony, welcome, fellow Amazons!"

There followed another round of hugs and applause, then Dulith stepped back. "Of course, we must serve and protect Lilith on the coming journey - that's a duty we cannot and will not abandon. However, when the journey is over and all are safe, we'll return with the warriors you send with us."

Gabrielle smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything less." Then she stepped back. "Lilith," she announced, holding up the Letter of Debt, "your obvious friendship towards the Amazon Nation, as shown by your followers' desire to remain and both help defend and enrich it, renders any Letter of Debt almost unnecessary, however…" She paused, just for dramatic effect. Can't help it, she thought, not with an audience this big. "You have enjoyed the protection and sustenance of Amazonia, and such a thing is not offered by us lightly. Therefore," she unrolled the small scroll, "from this day forward, you will always respond to any request of assistance in defending the Amazon Nation, sending whatever help you're able and is prudent given your own circumstances."

"This I agree to with all my heart," Lilith responded so everyone could hear her clearly. "I would have offered no less. It would be of the greatest pleasure for us. I hope only that you are never in such danger as to require our help."

Gabrielle smiled. "Us too. Which is why, as a token of our continuing friendship and your debt, we will also require that every year, on the day of summer Solstice, you will have delivered to us three of your finest apples, as an offering to Artemis and a tribute to the Nation."

"This also will be great pleasure," Lilith began. "However, as I have told you, there will come a time -"

"I'm getting to that," Gabrielle leaned in and whispered. "Trust me here." Lilith only smiled and straightened.

The Amazon Queen raised her voice again. "Let this offering continue as a symbol of gratitude from the followers of Inanna to the Amazon Nation until the day comes when you feel you must close yourselves off from the world. At that time, send a delegation of your people, and we will feast and celebrate our friendship once more. Then, years from now, according to your beliefs, when you feel it is safe to emerge, find us again, wherever we may be, that we might once more join together. This is a debt of untold years we ask, that we all keep alive our memory of this time together. Can we all agree?"

Lilith nodded. The council nodded. Gabrielle beamed. "Then as Queen of the Amazons," she announced, "and with the full voice of my people, I wish you luck with your journey. May you remain safe and well for all time."

There were more cheers. "I thank you, Queen Gabrielle," Lilith said, her voice somehow carrying over the growing din of the assembled women. "We thank you all, from deep in our sincere hearts. I give this land the blessing of the Earth."

Gabrielle took a brief half hour to clear up a few remaining details with the Council, then after the Council chamber was cleared, took a moment to quietly say goodbye to Ephiny. "Ephiny," she said affectionately, "you're the best." The bard looked down, suddenly feeling a little guilty. "I'm sorry you have to do all this by yourself. I wish I could be here more…"

The blonde regent shook her head, smiling. "Gabrielle, this isn't the first time in our history we've had an absent Queen. We'll be fine." She rolled her eyes, "And it wasn't like I didn't want to be in charge either." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I wasn't born into royalty Gabrielle. I worked hard. I was a good soldier. I fought and scraped for every advantage … sometimes I was completely ruthless when I wanted to get ahead."

Ephiny looked at the floor. "I remember being so angry when you were made a princess - didn't know then how … how good you are."

The regent straightened. "I want you to know you're a fine Queen, Gabrielle, whether you know it or not. When you and Xena are ready to stop wandering, I pray to Artemis you'll settle here, and … and…" Ephiny's brows furrowed. "She'd better appreciate you," she said sharply. Then more softly, she added, "And she'd better not get herself killed."

Gabrielle nodded, taking the Amazon's hand gently. "You really loved Phantes, didn't you?"

Ephiny stiffened, then sighed. "Yes," she answered quietly, then gasped, "Gods, I shouldn't have … I didn't want to…"

Gabrielle held the hand tighter, brushed her other fingers along the forearm. "Love is a precious thing Ephiny. It might sneak up on us when we don't expect it sometimes, but never regret it. I'm so sorry you had such little time together, but the love you had was real, and wonderful, and you had a son together. Xenan is amazing - he's growing so fast, and he's so smart." The bard chuckled. "I saw how he was standing only a couple of hours after being born, and I hear he was talking just a couple of months later. The few moments we had together yesterday - It's strange, because he didn't seem to want to talk at first, but when he finally did, he almost managed to quote Socrates."

Gabrielle and Ephiny both laughed. It felt so good to talk about families, about personal things, and not the problems of the Nation for once. Then the young woman looked up and asked, "When did you know? I mean, that you and Phantes…"

Ephiny brushed her thumb over Gabrielle's hand. "Not long after I met him," she said, simply. "At first I was actually kind of disgusted with him. He just looked so helpless and scared - I thought he was pathetic." She chuckled. "But later I realized that was just because he was honest about his feelings, not because he was weak. He never hid anything … I think that's what I loved about him most." The regent blinked, paused. "When I confronted him that first time, he told me the truth, and somehow he saw right through me when he did it, almost as if he knew the reasons behind my questions, even when I didn't yet." Ephiny shook her head, blushed lightly. "He could warm my heart just by walking into the room, and that … doesn't happen very often…" Her voice drifted off.

Gabrielle looked thoughtful for a moment, then hesitantly began, "Ephiny, I'm sorry I can't return those feelings. Artemis knows, if it weren't for the way I feel about Xena, I really believe we could be happy together." She paused. "I do love you Ephiny, and I care about you more than anyone. You're the best, but don't … don't pine for me. Promise? Find someone who can love you the way you deserve. I don't want you to be alone."

Ephiny looked down at her with an odd half smile. She sighed, then shrugged. "Hey, listen my Queen, it's not like I don't get offers."

Gabrielle chuckled. "Oh really? Can't understand why." She stopped teasing. "I have so much to thank you for Ephiny … more than you'll ever know." Once again they hugged each other tight.

As they slowly parted, Ephiny suddenly gripped Gabrielle's strawberry blonde head in her strong Amazon hands and covered the bard's mouth with a passionate kiss that lasted a long couple of seconds. Then Ephiny broke it off and strode out of the council house without looking back or speaking another word.

Gabrielle stood frozen in place, heart racing, fighting for breath. She gently placed a finger on her still tingling lips. Merciful Artemis! Ephiny? she thought, head spinning. Is that what it's like? Maybe I'd better think about this again - if Xena ever did that I couldn't possibly survive …I'd catch fire or explode or burst open or shake into little tiny pieces or…

Gabrielle hurried out to the slowly organizing caravan to look for Xena. She found the warrior sitting on the ground by the lead wagons in a small circle with Meleager, Solari - who would command the Amazons on the journey - and Elena, the Amazon's eldest scout. As the bard approached, she began to pick out the conversation.

"…they'll just whittle us down that way," Solari pleaded.

"No, because they won't get the chance," Xena said. "I know it's a risk, but it's a small one."

"What's going on?" Gabrielle asked.

"It looks like we're walking into an ambush," Solari replied spitefully. "Without bothering to warn anyone."

"Solari," Meleager groaned, "we've been over this."

"You're all dead wrong!" Solari spat. "Sisters will be killed!"

"Uh, excuse me," Gabrielle broke in, thumping her staff on the ground. "I asked, 'What's going on?'"

Xena turned to the scout and prompted, "Elena?"

The older Amazon sighed, then turned to her Queen. "While scouting ahead, we found a band of about thirty-five slavers - it looks like two groups joined together - already laid in ambush less than half a day's ride along the western road." She paused. "We infiltrated their camp as best we could, and it doesn't seem like they know how many soldiers will be traveling with you, but -"

Solari cut her off. "But the best thing to do would be to swing north and avoid them -"

"But…" Meleager broke in, then went quiet with a look from Xena.

"But nothing!" Solari insisted. "Our defenses are better than we might hope, but they're still pretty slim considering. But we should head north, keep away from trouble, then head west. But if we let these tiny bands attack us, we'll just lose soldiers. Maybe just one or two each time, but it'll add up. Before long, we won't have enough left to defend us if we really get hit hard. But even if it's just a test, someone's bound to get killed. It's stupid!" she added finally.

"So," Gabrielle said slowly, "I take it there's another opinion?"

Xena nodded to Meleager. "Well," he began, "thing is, we're pretty boxed in as far as the route goes. Crossing into Thrace at Byzantium is about the only way - we could go northeast around the Black Sea, but it'd take weeks longer and we'd have a Tartarus of a time getting through the mountains. Everything's OK really, since we're pretty confident about both the Guardians and the Amazons. Trouble is we, ah, don't really know how well they'll work together. We've got to know whether they can handle themselves, and," he paused. "Most of all we need to know whether our traveling plan works. So a, um, small band of the enemy would -"

"Be a good test of our defenses," Gabrielle finished. She thought for a moment, looking at Xena. There had to be more. "So, what else?"

Xena just met her gaze without expression before turning to Elena again. "Tell her."

"OK," Elena set her jaw. "Here's the real problem. Everywhere our scouts went they came across other scouts. We avoided being seen by the enemy very well," she said with a note of simple pride, "but these men were set up at all points of the compass, and they had messengers ready with fast horse. Worse, although they wore two different insignia, they were mixed groups, and neither matched the clothing of the slavers to the west, which means…" Her voice trailed off.

"Which means we're facing someone with the resources to find us anywhere we go," Xena said simply. "That many scouts means an army. It just makes it that much more important we test our defenses."

Gabrielle closed her eyes. I've got the deciding vote don't I? Can I knowingly send everyone into a situation where someone will possibly, even probably be killed?

After a long moment, the young Amazon Queen asked, "Can we stay here longer, train together some more?"

Solari turned away with a disgusted grunt. Xena and Meleager looked at each other briefly.

"No," Xena said, with just a hint of sadness under the strength only Gabrielle probably caught. "If they're that organized, giving them more time would only make the risk worse."

"Can we warn the others?" the bard Queen asked, knowing the answer.

"No," Xena answered in the same tone. "If our strategy doesn't work, we need to know now, when it's still possible to retreat to safety."

Gabrielle's eyes narrowed. "So it's a matter of strategy then?"

Xena's voice seemed far away. "Strategy against time," she answered. Then more slowly, she added, "And against lives. Maybe a few now against many later."

Gabrielle inhaled deliberately. The greatest good for the greatest number … Gods, sometimes I really hate being Queen…

Then a thought struck her. "Wait a minute," she said with some excitement. "Do the Guardians have any trained scouts?"

"Yes, they do," Elena answered.

Gabrielle nodded. "Good. Were any of them with you when you found the slavers to the west?"

Elena smiled. "No, they weren't. None of the Guardians were. They were here, training."

"Then fine," Gabrielle said, pleased with herself. "We'll send them ahead in the morning, instead of Amazon scouts. It'll be a good idea to test them as well, and see how quickly we can form a strategy based on what they find." She turned to Xena. "Wouldn't that be a fairer test anyway? Hopefully it'll be closer to what would happen for real. If we're all doing our jobs, we shouldn't just blunder into a complete ambush in the first place, right?"

The warrior looked away for a moment, but let a thin smile slip out. "Fair enough."

"I'm sorry Solari," Gabrielle turned, "but they're right. It's a risk, but if the system - the whole system - works, then it should be a small one. We'll leave in two hours, as planned, and no one will warn anyone."

Solari stood. "The Queen has spoken," she said, but seemed much less distraught than before. "I'd better grab my stuff." She strode off, Elena following.

Meleager stood as well. "You made the right decision Gabrielle. That was … well, that was great. Now, I gotta run too. See you in a couple of ticks." He patted her shoulder and left.

Gabrielle leaned her forehead on her staff and gave a long, heavy sigh.

"So," came Xena's voice from behind her, "when did you become a tactician as well as a bard, fighter, and Queen?"

Gabrielle gave a dry laugh, turned to look up at the warrior, who was smiling with something very close to open pride. "Oh, I dunno," the bard smiled back warmly. "I guess you're rubbing off on me more and more every day."

Xena looked suddenly wistful. "Yeah, well, don't take that too far. You were very close to siding with me completely and risking a lot more lives. But you found a way." The warrior put a hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. "Meleager is right - what you just did was incredible. I love … I love it when you surprise me like that."

Gabrielle just let herself look into Xena's pale blue eyes, then placed her hand over the warrior's and gave it a light squeeze. By Artemis, the young woman thought. I hope so Xena …I hope so much…

The moving village of Inanna left the main Amazon city a short time later. They were accompanied by nearly twice their allotted force of soldiers, some traveling casually, just there to watch over the wagons until they reached the border. The rest, the ones who would continue on for the journey, walked or rode in their assigned positions while Xena, Meleager, and Morgin spent the rest of the day circling the whole group as it moved, checking for possible gaps or things that might need changing. At appointed times, they would form together along with Solari at the front or rear of the column to discuss what they thought.

Just before sunset they came short of reaching the border. "Pull up," Xena commanded over her shoulder. "Time to camp."

"I'll get the watches set up," Meleager announced, turning his horse. "Morgin?" The First Guardian nodded and pulled alongside him wordlessly as they rode off.

Gabrielle and Solari walked up to Xena. "Hey," Gabrielle smiled.

"Hey yourself," the warrior smiled back.

"I rode with Lilith part of the way," the bard said. "She wants to see you once you've finished checking on the camp."

"Anything in particular?" Xena asked.

"She wants to have some kind of celebration tonight," Gabrielle answered. "She figures it'll be the last chance before we get wherever we're going. Wants to know if it's OK, I guess."

"Yeah, I'll talk to her," the warrior said, turning Argo. "I'd get a few stories ready if I were you, oh bard," she grinned over her shoulder as she cantered off. "This might be your last audience for a while, and I know how you love an audience…"

Solari watched the warrior ride away. "She always tease you like that?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Gabrielle admitted, smiling after the receding form.

The Amazon looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, if I didn't know better -"

"Don't even say it!" Gabrielle cut her off.

That night, there was dancing around the fire, a lot of song, and Gabrielle told a number of stories, after which Lilith did a special dedication under the moon in honor of Artemis. The Priestess led the ceremony in front of the altar, which had been placed before her tent, ringed again by twelve smaller tents, the only ones that had been set up in the camp.

Earlier, Xena had been adamant about keeping things simple and cutting them off as early as possible. "Lilith, the last thing we need is a bunch of hung over travelers who haven't gotten much sleep."

"This I know as the truth," the Priestess had replied with a gentle smile. "But once we are beyond the Amazon border, there will be no more chance to worship until we reach our valley. I assure you," Lilith had touched the warrior's arm softly, "my followers know … ah, that phrase … 'Know the drill'? We can still be ready to leave within an hour of dawn. I will end things promptly this night, and have made this plain to all. We will be ready come the sun. Fear not, Xena. It is a farewell gift to the Amazons, and to ourselves. Please see the truth in it."

"Yeah, all right," the warrior had relented. "Can't see any harm."

After Gabrielle had finished the last of her stories and basked in the applause - Xena's right, I love an audience, she admitted to herself - the bard had found Xena at the edge of the clearing and sat down beside her to watch the ceremony. The bard had a scroll and quill at the ready. "I should probably write this down," she quipped. "It's an ancient ceremony, after all."

"Good plan," Xena nodded with amusement, then set to sharpening her sword, although she watched along with the intent young scholar beside her.

Lilith led her followers in a song, a sensuous rhythm that had everyone swaying in unison for a long, lingering time, joining all who were assembled with a common voice. The effect was mesmerizing. Even Xena seemed affected by it, as the warrior ceased her sharpening, rationalizing that she didn't want to interrupt - in fact, in would have taken serious effort to tear her eyes away.

When the song was over, the priestesses rose and chanted:

"Behold the three-formed Goddess; She who is ever three - maid, mother, and crone. Yet is she ever one; She in all women, and they all in her. Look on these three, who are one, with a fearless love, That you too, may be whole."

"Behold," Lilith took a step forward from the altar, holding her arms out before her. "I am Inanna, the Goddess of Earth, the power of Creation."

"The power of Creation," came the chant.

"I am pleasure, and love, and wisdom."

"Pleasure, Love, Wisdom."

Lilith raised her arms, then intoned:

"My furrow, The Boat of Heaven, Is full of eagerness like the young moon. My untilled land lies fallow. As for me, Inanna, Who will plow my fertile soil? Who will plow my high field? Who will plow my wet ground?"

The other priestesses stood and each took an Amazon by the arm. The supplicants were clothed in simple white robes, and all seemed to have been recently bathed, freshly scrubbed skin glowing in the firelight. Priestesses and Amazons arranged themselves in a semi-circle around Lilith, then they all responded:

"Goddess, I will plow your fertile soil. I will plow your high field. I will plow your wet ground."

Lilith answered:

"Then come to me now, My one love, Dearest of my heart!

Our pleasure for the Earth, Our love for the Earth. All become one, Joined with the body of the Goddess. Hold me and love me, Inanna, who brings forth life."

"Inanna, who brings forth life!" the other priestesses answered.

The priestesses each led their Amazon around to one of the smaller tents and ushered her inside. Lilith stood for a moment in front of the altar, then gestured towards Meleager, who walked up and embraced her. The two of them entered the central tent, and for a time the camp was strangely quiet.

"Gods," Gabrielle breathed, "That's uh, that's some ceremony…"

"Have to admit," Xena answered, "I'm starting to understand why they call them 'Sacred'." The warrior sighed. "C'mon," she urged, "we should get some sleep."

"Yeah," Gabrielle replied, feeling oddly sullen, not able to put her finger on why. "Guess so."

The bard followed Xena to a spot just downhill from one of the watch points. After they'd unpacked their bedrolls, Xena sat on a log and began the process of taking off her armor. The bard moved to help.

"Gabrielle…" the warrior began to protest.

"Ah Xena, come on," the bard chided. "I used to do this all the time … it's not like I don't know how."

"Whatever," the warrior replied, allowing Gabrielle to undo the hooks and clasps, then set the brasswork aside. "Thanks," Xena said, carefully - too carefully for the bard not to notice the way the warrior was holding back.

Once again, Gabrielle set her hands to work over the warrior's muscles, knotted from a day in the saddle. Feeling Xena gradually loosen and relax made Gabrielle feel warm and wanted.

And yet, once again, when the warrior seemed to enjoy it just enough, she started to pull away. "'Night Gabrielle…" Xena stood, took a few steps up the hill.

"Xena, please," the bard cried out. I can't live like this anymore. She searched for words. "Please, don't go. I'm not … dangerous or anything."

The warrior stopped. Without turning around, she said, "I dunno about that. You can kick around the best of them by now. Don't need my help much anymore."

"Xena, I'll always need your help," Gabrielle answered. "I'm … I'm just a village girl, after all. I don't know a lot when it comes down to it. You're the world to me. My world. I … need you. Please stay. Talk to me at least. After tonight we might not get much chance to … be together."

"Yeah," Xena sighed, turning. "Look…" She paused. "Gabrielle, I know for a while we haven't been as … close as we used to be."

"Yeah, I've noticed," the smaller woman tried to smile. "You were so open, so…" The bard found herself carefully struggling for words. "So relaxed after you … After we found the ambrosia and brought you back. You were playful, even - gods Xena, I never expected, never hoped to see you just laugh and make jokes. It was … It was wonderful." Gabrielle looked at the ground. "Then we met the Horde," she looked away, uncertain. "And things just … changed. You haven't been the same since then."

Gabrielle caught Xena's eyes. "Please. What happened?"

Xena looked into the bard's face, saw it full of sincerity and concern, an expression that always moved her warrior's heart. "Gabrielle," she began with difficulty, "the Horde … It was the purest kind of evil I'd ever known." The warrior looked up at the sky. "Even in my darkest days as a warlord, I could still use them to frighten the troops." She smiled wryly. "I'd threaten to chain them to the ground for the Horde to find if they disobeyed. It was … comforting, in way. No matter what I did, there was always something worse."

The warrior swallowed. "When we … when I met them again, I just let everything dark inside come out. I didn't even think about it really. No matter how much I thought I've changed, it was … It was easy."

The red-gold blonde took a step forward and touched the warrior's arm lightly. "It was a hard time Xena," Gabrielle soothed. "It frightened me too. I was as confused as you were."

The warrior gave a cold laugh and pulled away. "Oh yeah, we were both so confused! You tried to help, I just did my level best to slaughter them all. I thought I was doing it because I had to, but really … now I know I did it just because I could. An army at my back, an enemy I could destroy without mercy - I slipped into the darkness like a well-worn boot. I was enjoying it!"

"Xena," Gabrielle insisted, "we talked about it then. You really did do only what you thought you had to. No, listen!" She cut the warrior off, then said quietly. "Let it go Xena. Just look at what you're doing to yourself now. Do you think if you really were that evil it would bother you like this?"

Xena closed her eyes. "You don't know what I really am, Gabrielle. Who knows when it might happen again? Next time…"

"Xena," Gabrielle said gently. "The only way you could ever hurt me is by shutting me out. It tears me apart to see you hate yourself this way." She paused, took a step closer. "When I think about what you've been through, how hard it must be for you…"

"Stop," the warrior turned away. "Don't you see? You're the last person who should be carrying that kind of weight. You've never hurt a soul. You should be off somewhere, telling your stories, making people happy, loving life…"

"Xena," Gabrielle broke in quietly. "I do love my life. With you. If I didn't want to be with you, more than anything else, I wouldn't be." She chuckled softly, resting a hand on the warrior's shoulder. "Gods know you've given me enough chances to leave. I know you. I see the good in you, and I don't expect the worst ten years of your life to disappear overnight. We'll work through it, like we always have … Together."

The bard paused. She knew how her companion never felt comfortable hearing things said out loud. She did it anyway. "I love you Xena," Gabrielle said, softly, slowly. "Nothing you do, or have done, will ever change that."

Xena finally turned her head to look at the bard with an almost painful expression, but her eyebrow was raised playfully. "Guess I'm stuck with you then, huh?"

Feeling oddly exhausted, Gabrielle pressed her forehead against the other woman's solid shoulder. "You'd better believe it. I've worked for it too hard."

Xena ran her hand softly through the bard's hair. "Stubborn like a mule," she chided gently, rewarded by Gabrielle's arms going around her in a fierce hug.

The warrior returned the embrace for a long moment. Then she sighed, exhaling with effort. "All right," she said, gathering herself. "Look, I'm sorry, but I have to check the watch posts. No, it's all right," she insisted as Gabrielle started to protest. "It's just my job. Someone has to. Solari's on her own watch now. Morgin's taking last watch, so hopefully she's asleep, and Meleager, well," she laughed, "I think he's busy. It'll take an hour or so, so turn in, get some sleep yourself. I mean that. We've got a long day tomorrow."

"Yeah," Gabrielle sniffled, but smiled. "Guess so."

Of course, sleep was completely impossible for the young bard. Instead she lit a torch, resting her back against a tree as she took out her quill and scroll. Trouble was, that didn't really work either. Her mind wandered too easily, and almost every other line had to be crossed out and rewritten. It seemed like a lot of time passed, and still Xena hadn't returned.

Gabrielle was no closer to sleep than when she'd begun, and her frustration grew with the warrior's continuing refusal to come back. Then a soft voice came from beside her. "Why are you not sleeping, young Gabrielle?"

The bard should have jumped at the sound, yet the gentle ease of the words simply caused her to turn her head. "Oh, hi Lilith. What are you doing here?"

Crouching only a foot or so away, the Priestess smiled warmly. "Meleager has fallen asleep, as many men are wont to do. In truth he has a warrior's stamina, but I demand too much of him I fear." She laughed softly. "Perhaps I should have stayed, yet I am restless with thoughts of the journey continuing when dawn returns. I decided to wander. I found you. You are restless as well?"

"Yeah," Gabrielle sighed. "A little. I had a talk with Xena earlier. We worked out a few things, or at least I hope we did. She had to check on the guards, so I've been, well, waiting for her to come back. I think things were OK, but she's … she's hard to figure out sometimes."

"This I can see," Lilith agreed, sitting down. "Her heart is set against itself, and lacks the trust of her own feelings. She has endured much sadness, and blames herself." The Priestess looked down. "It is a hardship I know well, for I too was once forced on a path I did not choose, and rather than understand that it was something I could not control, I chose to believe it was my nature to be so. It is an odd, perverse kind of pride to believe this, to think oneself so immune to the whims of fate that you would choose to follow darkness rather than accept that at times, your life is beyond your control or understanding."

"Lilith," Gabrielle soothed, "sometimes things just happen."

"Ah, Gabrielle," the Priestess laughed, flowing around the bard in a warm embrace. "You spread such goodness. You give of yourself even when there is no such need."

Lilith eased away, then brushed her hand along Gabrielle's face. "I am long since past the time when I require healing, young one," she assured. "I show what I feel from one moment to the next because it is right for me to do so. Open honesty is best for me, I have found. If I appear sad, or troubled, or amused, worry not, for I am a creature of circumstance. I live only for the here and now, because I must. Things which strike me more deeply, I will make plain."

Lilith looked away again, smiling even wider. "…whenever it is prudent, given my own circumstance." She laughed lightly. "You have a simple gift of words Gabrielle. It has been some time since I knew one who had such a grasp of tales in this way."

Gabrielle blushed. She loved an audience, but when one person - especially someone she knew - complimented her, she was never quite sure how to deal with it. "I try my best," she stammered.

"You do well," Lilith replied, touching her gently. The Priestess sighed. "And with Xena. I have seen what is in each of you. She is strong, yet dwells too much on what she has done, and not enough on who she is. It is rare I meet one who sees herself so blindly, yet is so true to her nature at the same time. She is like a puzzle box, one layer yielding truth only to reveal further contradiction."

Lilith cupped Gabrielle's face in her slim hand, a gesture at once so intimate, yet so casual, the bard felt enraptured and calm all at once. "And beside her, you too are bounded in layers: Strong and innocent, curious and wise, impatient and understanding. How is this?"

Gabrielle shrugged, not knowing how to respond. "Xena is … well, she's who she is," the bard answered honestly. "I help her when I can. Me? I just got lucky. I followed a hero and we became, well," she paused. "We became very close. Why is that so hard to understand?"

Lilith shook her head slowly. "Because two such as you do not happen, Gabrielle, not together. One so open and yet so wise, one so troubled and yet so strong. Each of you knows herself so intimately, yet it is the other you know best, and still there is much you do not see. It is … most unusual."

Gabrielle laughed. "Well, that's Xena. 'Unusual' is putting it mildly."

Lilith cocked her head, settling back. "I can see you following a hero, for you are a restless soul, with a depthless need of knowing of the world. When did you first see her for herself?"

"What do you mean? When did I see she was troubled … her dark side?" the bard asked.

"That as well," Lilith replied, laying back and smiling. "You are a teller of tales. Tell me."

Gabrielle thought for a moment, then tucked her legs under herself, sitting cross-legged in front of the tree. While she was usually eager to tell stories about Xena, some of them only brought back memories she would just as soon forget. "Actually," she said, hesitating just a little, "I don't think I've ever told this one before."

"Then I am honored to be the first to hear it," Lilith laughed affectionately. "Yet I believe it needs telling. May my pleasure be yours."

"OK," Gabrielle couldn't help smiling. "Let me see now…" The bard paused for a moment, then took a breath and began her tale. "Once there was this village girl, who was rescued by a great hero, and decided to follow her. What the girl didn't know at first was that this hero had a dark past, one that haunted her, and left her troubled…"

The village was called Forsina. It wasn't very large really, as villages go. It rested quietly in a small valley, nestled against the base of a steep cliff where a river spilled forth. While the valley had proven very fertile, Forsina's main source of wealth was silver, discovered in the same cave that produced the river, then painstakingly refined and wrought into jewelry and other items.

By common assent, the find had been kept secret. The village's wares were sold anonymously in small lots at large cities many days' ride away, and while this meant that no one in Forsina was ever wealthy, everyone was afforded a generous living. Moderate affluence and isolated geography conspired to lull the people into an easy peace. They ate well, everyone had their share of comfort and more, and they were happy. Within a dozen summers crimes were rare - who needed to covet what could be had after a month of trading?

It took almost two generations before their secret was discovered, by a raider named Obportus. A group of his men caught two travelers, laden with glittering trinkets, and slowly roasted them alive until they gave up their village.

Gabrielle had been doggedly keeping up with Xena for a little less than a month. The two had shared several exciting adventures - well, to be honest, Gabrielle had witnessed what she had thought were a couple of exciting adventures. Then one night a drunken conversation at the table next to them in a small, especially nasty tavern caused the warrior to stiffen. Gabrielle never heard exactly what was said, but whatever it was the very air around Xena seemed to grow dark.

The young woman had watched her strong hero grow hard and cold in a way she'd never seen before. The ice blue eyes had glanced around, then seemed to relax, and a slow smile spread across the warrior's face. She'd stopped talking, but even by then Gabrielle knew that with Xena, sometimes words just … went away.

Gabrielle had simply concentrated on her half-cooked, half-raw venison. As bad as it was, it was the first meal she'd been able to eat at a table in a week. Then the three drunken, heavily armored men had risen noisily to leave. Xena's eyes settled with irritation on Gabrielle. "Stay right here," the warrior had said, not even waiting for the confused young woman to nod before following the three men out the door.

Gabrielle self-consciously, methodically attacked her meal, ignoring everything that might, or might not have been going on around her. She didn't feel very comfortable in this kind of place, and wondered why Xena had decided to find a table inside when they'd passed it. Still, she waited for the warrior's return.

She actually didn't have to wait long. Xena was back in her seat only minutes later. The armored woman picked up her barely touched mug of port and leaned back in her chair, easy and relaxed, not saying a word. Gabrielle had tried to be as casual, finishing as much of her meal as she deemed edible before sitting back herself. "So," she said, trying not to sound eager. "What happened?"

"Don't worry about it," Xena replied, barely looking at her. "Get some dessert if you want. We need sleep tonight though. We have to be out by first light."

"Where to?" Gabrielle asked immediately.

Those eyes fastened on her. "Northeast," the warrior replied evenly. "About a day's ride." Then Xena had cocked an eyebrow in amusement. "All right, let's say a day and a half, assuming you still don't want to ride."

Of all the questions she could have asked, Gabrielle made herself ask only one. "You said we should hurry. Do I really have time for dessert?"

To her surprise, the warrior chuckled. "We have time. The morning will be fine, as long as you can get up early." Xena raised an eyebrow, then downed the last of her port. "Stay here, I'll see what passes for dessert in this place." With that she stood, idly snatching another mug of the drink off the end of the bar as she passed, switching it with her empty in a blur of motion behind her back so quick and silent no one noticed except the strawberry blonde who watched her every move.

By the time the two of them had reached the village of Forsina, Gabrielle had managed to prod Xena into explaining that Obportus had been a minor lieutenant in her army. "What's he like?" Gabrielle had asked.

"Stupid."

"So how'd he become a Lieutenant?"

"Because I thought I knew how to control him. He was also creative about causing pain. That was useful, at one time," Xena said flatly. "Later I kicked him out for getting carried away - hurt someone he shouldn't have, in ways that … weren't necessary. Seems he's been busy since. Can't keep many men with him, but enough to cause trouble around here."

"So we're going to stop him now, right?" Gabrielle asked.

"Yeah. Looks that way." Xena had looked down at her with casual amusement, but just for a moment, even then, Gabrielle had known the warrior wasn't as calm as she seemed.

Once they had reached the village, a combination of Xena's steely remarks and Gabrielle's dramatic embellishments convinced the wary inhabitants they were in grave danger. Xena had then begun instructing them how to set up defenses: Covered pits, and walls of sharpened stakes at the perimeter for a start. When the warrior discovered that archery was a respected pastime in the village, she soon had everyone who had ever held a bow in their hands practicing - at hastily thrown together, human-looking targets, raised to horseback level. She gently cursed everyone who missed, but skillfully encouraged all who hit their mark.

"Come on you people!" Xena yelled, not angry, just making herself heard, letting her strength carry in her voice. "Your lives depend on this. You've got to make every arrow count!"

From her place helping build the defenses, Gabrielle was amazed by how the warrior took charge, instilling courage, or at least a measure of confidence in every archer under her command. Such a natural leader, the young, budding bard thought.

By nightfall, all the villagers who were able to join the defenders were at their posts, and Gabrielle had seen to it the rest were ready at the infirmary and the bucket brigade. Gabrielle had been through a few small skirmishes but this was her first actual battle, although from what she knew of Xena's ease in combat, the young woman had every confidence they would repel the attackers. The raiders were a small group, yet there were scores of villagers ready to fight them, all thanks to the warrior princess.

Then, through the early morning fog, horsemen thundered towards the village. Frightened by the way the ground shook at their approach, the villagers began to back away. Xena, astride Argo, simply leaned her head down and listened to the sound. "Not a problem," she said, concentrating. "Maybe thirty … no heavy horse. The defenses will hold."

As more and more defenders scuttled away, Gabrielle began to wander up and down the lines, trying her best to calm everyone. She had some success at first, but as the thundering hoofbeats grew louder and the fog began to lift, exposing the solid line of mounted raiders, nearly every villager broke and ran for the safety of their homes.

When the attackers were within twenty yards of the perimeter, Gabrielle shouted at her warrior companion. "Xena!"

Xena seemed to come awake. She looked scornfully at the fleeing villagers. "Figures," was all she said as she kicked Argo forward.

Together the horse and rider leapt over the massive wall of stakes, the warrior using the added momentum to spring off the saddle into the very center of the enemy line, bringing down at least a half-dozen riders and several horses, causing the entire force to pull up short. A whirling flash of steel erupted, followed by Xena's high, singing battle cry and the screams of wounded men. The raiders moved to counter the disruption in their ranks.

Gabrielle kicked at the few remaining defenders. "Shoot!" She screamed. "Aim at the ones toward the outside!"

The young woman was almost beside herself. She'd seen Xena easily best a dozen men, but to her eyes this was an army. She found herself praying to any god who would listen, hoping the warrior she'd been following would survive. She also quickly realized that if someone didn't come back and help, the village was lost.

"Come on you monkey's asses!" she screamed at the village, hurling at them the worst curses her bard's mind could think of. "Fight for your lives! Your homes! What in the name of Hephaestus are you waiting for?"

Hephaestus, the patient forge, was the patron deity of Forsina. How this screaming young girl knew their god the villagers didn't understand, but they couldn't ignore the name, and slowly returned to the lines.

In some triumph, Gabrielle jumped up on the makeshift battlements, worriedly looking out onto the field of battle. What she saw stopped her breath.

Xena stood amidst a very large pile of bodies, laughing as Obportus' remaining troops began to run away. With a quick forward flip she was down off the mountain of the fallen and was running after the breakers, still laughing, pursuing them, closing the distance, easily catching up.

The warrior plunged off the hill at the end of the clearing, disappearing around a stand of trees. The rest was silence.

Gabrielle and the villagers had continued to stare out at the plain. Abandoned horses slowly wandered around the field, nibbling at the grass. Then the bard snapped herself out of it. Forsina was apparently safe. "C'mon," the young woman urged those around her. "We should bury the dead."

It was sunset when the warrior returned, her triumphant silhouette strangely radiant with the sun behind her, swinging her sword easily. Gabrielle's heart soared at Xena's return, until the black haired ex-warlord ceased to be an outline against the sun. The bard gasped.

The warrior was grinning a predatory smile, blue eyes flashing, her face and body covered in blood. She lifted her left hand, her dripping prize held high, smiling. Triumphant.

"Obportus won't bug you again," she said, the raider's head staring, sightless, out into the growing darkness, his hair twisted in the warrior's grip.

The villagers dropped what they were doing, gathering around Xena in a loose circle, everyone staring at her in horror. Struggling against her own nausea, Gabrielle had rushed up to the warrior princess, fighting to make eye contact. "Let it go," she said calmly. "Xena, drop it … Please?"

Xena had finally shifted her eyes to rest on Gabrielle's, and what the warrior saw there caused her bloodstained face to suddenly become puzzled, then grow dark with realization.

"Oh gods," the warrior breathed. She looked down at herself, then her gaze scattered around, seeing fear everywhere - fear and repulsion directed at the warrior who had once been their savior. Finally she settled her eyes back to Gabrielle.

For the briefest of moments, Gabrielle saw Xena's eyes become those of an animal caught in a trap … hesitant, wounded, pleading. The slightest blink and she would have missed it.

Then the iron behind the eyes had closed down once more. "I'm going to wash up," Xena had said, tossing the head aside and walking away towards the river. "About the bodies," she called over her shoulder, her voice strong. "Bury them as you find them, with all their possessions. If anyone is caught stealing, I will deal with them."

Gabrielle had run after her. "Xena! Are you … all right?"

"I'm fine," Xena had hissed over her shoulder. Then, more gently, added, "It's not my blood."

The next day they left the valley before sunup, moving very fast, not even saying goodbye. It was all Gabrielle could do to keep the warrior in sight, but she didn't complain, just kept up as she was getting used to doing. Towards evening, Xena found a clearing and began a fire.

"I thought we weren't supposed to," Gabrielle had said, puzzled, remembering some advice the warrior had given her once. "If any of Obportus' men are still around, can't they spot us by the fire?"

Xena looked up, raising an eyebrow, but there was no humor in the warrior's face. "No," she said simply. "There aren't any left." She fed a few more sticks into the growing blaze.

"But … " Gabrielle began, then suddenly understood, and turned in quiet shock to retrieve the food in the saddlebags.

They ate in relative silence. Gabrielle tried several times to start a conversation, but Xena kept her replies too short and to the point for any dialog to grow. Finally, Gabrielle said, "Hey, listen! I haven't told you the one about how Perseus saved Andromeda yet. Well, as it happened, her father, Cepheus …"

"Perseus was a self-centered little weasel," Xena cut her off wearily, laying back on her bedroll. "And you wouldn't have liked him."

"But this story is really good," Gabrielle insisted. "It's so romantic. I've been working on it and… "

Xena stopped her with a tired glance. "Sorry bard," she said, her expression all wry amusement, but her eyes still as hard as they had been all day. "I'm really not in the mood. But you must be pretty worn out too. I know I ran you ragged today."

The bard had started to protest, but Xena shushed her. "Gabrielle!" Then more gently. "Please, just go to sleep?"

Shivering a bit, as much due to the chill from her companion as the night air, Gabrielle lay down. Disappointed as she was however, the moment her head hit the pack she used as a pillow she realized Xena was right about how ragged she felt. Within minutes, Morpheus had descended on her exhausted body.

Then in the night came a low, gurgling scream. Gabrielle didn't even stir at first, then started, wide awake as something moved off to her right. She immediately scrambled up on all fours, crouching low. The shout came again, and even by the low light of the barely glowing embers of the campfire, she realized Xena was sitting up, her sword held out protectively, groaning and thrashing.

Gabrielle waited until the sword stopped moving. She crawled across to the other side of the fire. "Xena?" she said in a soothing voice. "It's just me. Gabrielle…"

"Gabrielle?" The warrior still seemed tense, confused.

"It's just a dream," Gabrielle soothed. "It's OK…"

"Gabrielle…" With that, the warrior came fully awake, but stayed where she was.

Without thinking, the girl placed a small hand on the warrior's shoulder. Xena tensed at the touch, then seemed to relax, if only a little. "Gabrielle…"

A long moment passed in the dark. Finally, Xena said, "I'm all right." She shrugged. "Go back to sleep."

The small hand didn't move, didn't move for a very long time. When Xena sagged forward unexpectedly, Gabrielle leaned forward as well. The touch on the warrior's shoulder never left.

Then through the darkness the girl heard her own voice, full of the compassion that ached from deep inside her. "It … hurts you. Blood … on your hands…"

The tiniest of shudders ran through the warrior's body. She masked them by sitting up straight again, but Gabrielle had felt it.

"I lost it yesterday," Xena said matter-of-factly, a moment later. "You shouldn't have had to see that." There was a long pause, neither woman moving. "Go back to sleep," Xena repeated.

After a time Gabrielle had let the hand on the warrior's shoulder retreat. "Please Xena," Gabrielle said softly, edging back to her own bedroll. "Please … sleep well."

The concern in her voice made the warrior lift her head, if slightly. Later, the young bard convinced herself Xena's whispered reply was just the wind in the trees.

"The gods' blessing on you, Gabrielle."

Her story ended, Gabrielle stared at the ground in front of her, avoiding Lilith's eyes. Gods, she thought, now I can sleep. I can't remember when I was this tired.

Lilith was silent for a time, then she spoke, saying quietly, "And when did you know you were in love?"

The bard gave a choking laugh, blinking back tears. "You don't ask for much, do you?"

A slim hand rested on hers, and a sudden peace filled her. "I am sorry, Gabrielle," Lilith soothed gently. "We will speak of this no more."

"Nah, it's OK," Gabrielle replied, wiping her eyes and smiling. "It's just…" she sighed. "It's just something I feel so stupid about, is all." She looked around at nothing in particular, then back at the Priestess. "Xena had to die before I understood."

Lilith stared. "This is … I am confused." For the first time since Gabrielle had met her, the Priestess seemed at a loss for words.

Gabrielle chuckled, then gave an exhausted sigh. "It's a long story, and I'm too tired to tell it right." She looked up at Lilith. "The short version," she chuckled again, self-consciously, "is that we were saving some women and children from a cult, and Xena was hit by a log trap. I tried to get her to a healer, but … I couldn't make it in time and…" The young woman closed her eyes, let out a slow breath. "And she died."

The bard looked up at the stars, making herself continue to explain. "Anyway, she fought it. Somehow she found a way to reach me from the other side, and helped me and some friends find some ambrosia so we could bring her back."

The bard laughed in spite of herself. "That's a bad way to tell it, I know, but it's basically what happened." She looked back at the ground. "I hate myself sometimes for being as stupid as I was. I mean, I'd always cared for her, looked up to her. Gods, she's … she's heroic and smart and so beautiful. She's the best friend I ever had, but it wasn't until … when she was gone, when I thought I'd lost her forever … that I knew…" Gabrielle shifted, went quiet.

Lilith studied the younger woman for a moment with a mixture of awe and, the bard thought, longing. Finally Lilith spoke. "I could not know it was this way. No tale has ever touched me so." The Priestess flowed towards Gabrielle, pulling her close, her full lips brushing lightly against the bard's before moving up to press against the young woman's forehead. Lilith lowered her face until it was almost touching Gabrielle's. "To defeat death with love … No, it is too beautiful."

The Priestess pulled away slightly, openly gazing into Gabrielle's face as she ran the backs of her hands through the younger woman's hair and down across her shoulders. "Ah, would that I had met you sooner Gabrielle … would that I had met your warrior. But no," she smiled ruefully, "that is wrong. I am thinking only of selfishness." She ran her hand idly over the ground. "Oh Inanna, what fools these mortals be…"

When the bard could look up again, Lilith was standing. "For now, Gabrielle, I bid you rest, and an easy sleep," she smiled. "Trust that your love is strong, and shines for all to see - of this you should have no fear. I wish only life, and joy, and love for you. Until morning, farewell."

"Good night Lilith," the bard said as the Priestess left.

Though still disappointed Xena hadn't come back yet, Gabrielle felt utterly exhausted. She snuffed out the torch and lay back on her bedroll, falling into a deep sleep almost as soon as she lay her head down.

The next day dawned bright and clear - or at least it would very shortly. The sun hadn't quite come up when the bard awoke, Xena gently nudging her. "C'mon sleepyhead," the warrior said with mock sternness, "we've got a long, dangerous day ahead of us."

"S'okay," Gabrielle mumbled, "I'mup…" As the young woman opened her eyes and half sat up however, the sight that greeted her made her heart jump enough to bring her fully awake: Xena was lying only a foot or so away, and their bedrolls were once again side by side - something that hadn't happened in months.