Cigarettes and Roses by Caden Ashford

She smelled like cigarettes and roses. I was staring, and she knew it, but she just sat in her cloud of smoke, eyes forward, like I wasn't even there.

I cleared my throat and walked along the step she was sitting on, weaving slightly and knowing the massive amounts of alcohol I'd just consumed in the bar behind us was getting to me. "Hey," I said. She didn't look at me, just grunted her acknowledgment. "Mind if I sit?" I asked. She shrugged, the dark leather covering her shoulders stretching taut across her back with the movement. I stared for a moment longer, amazed the world wasn't spinning, and then I sat down.

There was a long silence. I was very aware of her proximity, of the way only her arm moved when she lifted her cigarette to her lips, and especially of the heat from her body. I swallowed and tried to find my courage.

"Do?" my voice cracked, and I cursed. She actually spared me a glance then, one corner of her mouth quirked up in amusement. I felt my heart beat faster. I took a deep breath and tried again. "Do you come here often?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. Could I think of anything lamer to say?

She turned her attention back forward and shrugged again, bringing her cigarette up to her lips. I noticed she'd almost smoked it down to the filter; as if reading my thoughts, she dropped it to the step where her feet rested and put out the glowing end with the toe of one of her black boots. Before I could make a comment, she was reaching inside her jacket and pulling out what looked like a mostly empty pack of cigarettes. She tapped it against her hand and removed another, and glanced at me again, holding it out in question. My mouth went dry. "Uh?n-no thanks," I said, cursing myself for being unable to speak normally. Once again, she shrugged, and tucked the pack back inside her leather jacket before producing a lighter practically out of nowhere, tucking the cigarette between her lips, and lighting it. Her eyes closed in pleasure as she took that first long drag; I was staring again, and I couldn't find a single word to say.

She didn't seem to care one way or the other, even though the silence was making me uncomfortable?or maybe it was watching her smoke. She treated her smoke like a damned precious gift, and I knew-really knew-that she took the same sort of care with women. God, how I wanted to be that cigarette. To be held in that hand, caressed by those lips?was it getting warmer out here?

The smoke curled around her, wafting about her face and weaving through her dark hair. I found myself holding my breath, worried that I'd ruin the image if I exhaled. She still didn't speak, and I was too afraid to.

We sat in silence, hardly moving, except for the shift of the cigarette to and from her lips, mesmerizing me. Her elbow rested on the knee farthest from me until she'd smoked that one down, too; I felt suspended in time, watching her, but the moment ended as she crushed the butt beneath her toe again. Maybe it was the smoke that enchanted me, and not her.

There was absolute stillness for a minute or two, neither of us moving, her staring out at the street and me staring at her. My eyes traced the curve of her strong jaw, the sharp line of her cheekbone, the way she had her hair tucked behind the ear closest to me, the way it fell on the side I couldn't see. Finally she seemed to snap out of her trance, reaching into her jacket for a third cigarette. When she had a new smoke resting between her lips, she put the pack away and patted her pockets for her lighter. For an instant I wondered if she was a habitual chain-smoker, or if it was just my scrutiny making her nervous, but the thought disappeared as she flicked her lighter, the cigarette springing to life; she put her lighter back with one hand, the other coming up to cradle her smoke. The tip glowed bright red-orange as she sucked in, her eyes closing in bliss; I swallowed hard and tried to drag my gaze away, but I was entranced as she exhaled, the familiar smoke weaving around her again. Her hand moved down again, the cigarette dangling from her fingers, and I spared it a glance, watching it burn down as she stared into the darkness of the street again.

The denim-clad knee next to mine started to bounce, drawing my attention away from the cigarette and up to her thigh, noting the way the fabric clung to her. My mouth went dry, and before I knew what I was doing, my had was pressing against her leg, stilling its movement. Her head whipped around, and now I was staring into eyes that were a cold, harsh blue in the moonlight. She was unhappy with my invasion of her space. I gulped and withdrew my hand, but our eyes remained locked. Still she didn't say a word.

I licked my lips and saw her eyes flicker downward to follow the movement, then snap back up to hold my gaze again. There was something very intense about those eyes, almost frightening, but I wasn't afraid of her. I felt a cool thrill of excitement run down my spine, making me shudder; the blue of her eyes, like ice only moments ago, had darkened, and I wondered why, but I couldn't find my voice.

I watched her attention shift away from my eyes, moving down and down, from my face to my neck to my shoulders and?I sighed, bringing her attention back up once again. There was something questioning in her look now, but I couldn't put my thumb on it. Instead I just stared at her lips as she brought her cigarette up again, and I felt myself getting light-headed. I felt like I was under water, like everything was moving slower than it usually did as her mouth released the cigarette and her arm moved down a bit, as she blew smoke in my direction, as the tendrils curled around her. I saw her lips move, but didn't hear what she said-if she was, indeed talking-because I was too focused on the subtle curve of her mouth and the sudden deafening roar of my pulse pounding in my ears. My stomach churned and I blinked twice in rapid succession, looking up into her eyes again. I noted with some fascination that they were almost silver now-and then my stomach rebelled and before I knew what was happening there was vomit on her boots and half of me was folded over on her lap.

There was a distasteful look on her face when I gathered enough strength to move from her lap, but she didn't get up and leave, so I took that as a good sign. I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and held it out, not thinking about the fact that a stranger might not want to shake my bile-soaked hand, especially not after I'd vomited on her shoes. "I'm Jessica," I said.

She looked down at my hand and cleared her throat, arching one eyebrow and staring. The moment went on for so long that I got uncomfortable and was about to take my hand back when she transferred her cigarette to her left hand and shook mine. When she spoke, her voice was low, rough, and sexy enough to make me shiver: "Kate," she answered, holding on to my hand for just a little longer than she really needed to before letting go. She offered me her lit cigarette as if she'd lost the taste for it, but I shook my head.

"I?uh?probably not the, um, best idea after?that." I gestured at the mess between her shoes, suddenly surprised neither of us had moved away from the scene of the crime.

She looked down now, too, and seemed to realize that the contents of my stomach were in a pool at, and on, her feet. She dropped her smoke and watched it wink out, her nostrils flaring as she grimaced. Then she wiped her hands on her thighs and stood up, sighing as she looked at her shoes. "Ah well," she muttered, going down the stairs to the sidewalk below, her body now lit by the yellow glow of a nearby streetlamp. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her blue jeans and stood there, looking up at the ugly bruise-brown sky, tainted that color by all of the lights in the city. I watched her, marveling at how she looked like some kind of ancient goddess robed in gold and shadows, too stunned by the beauty of the moment to move. Until that is, she looked straight back at me, and uttered two words. "You coming?"

Faster than I thought possible, I was down there with her, and we were walking along the sidewalk side by side. I stopped suddenly as I realized my car was in the other direction, and I scuffed my shoe against the cement as I looked up at her through my lashes. "My, uh?car is that way," I said, pointing in the opposite direction.

She stopped and faced the way I was pointing, and then shrugged, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. "And mine's that way." She turned back around and started walking again, and I hesitated just long enough to remember that I was drunk and shouldn't be driving anyway.

I jogged to catch up to her, noticing her smirk as she saw I was with her again. I was mildly surprised that my mouth hadn't started to comment of its own volition-at this level of intoxication it usually ran until the rest of me stopped-but then I thought back to sitting next to her on the steps and how I couldn't think of a damn thing to say, and I was thankful.

Instead of being upset by the situation, I found that I was glad just to be walking with her, hands shoved into the pockets of my coat, not concerned with the fact that it was probably two in the morning on what would now be Saturday, and I was knowingly going to let a stranger take me to god knows where and I'd just left my best friend sitting in a bar?

"Oh my god! Tracy!" It came out much louder than I'd expected, and I clamped a hand over my mouth, my wide eyes trained on my companion as I froze in place. She stopped too, and cocked her head in question. Suddenly the silence caught up with me, and words were pouring out faster than I could process them. "My best friend is back there in the bar and she has no idea I just left with a strange woman who I threw up all over and she trusts me to drive her home because her boyfriend broke up with her and I took her out to celebrate her being free-"

I couldn't keep going, because she'd pressed two fingers to my lips. Two very warm fingers. I whimpered and looked up into those eyes once more, seeing that they were dark again. When she was satisfied I wouldn't try to keep talking, she let her fingers fall, and irrationally, I found myself missing her touch. "Hate to break it to ya," she said, and I felt her voice rumbling through me from head to toe, "but you're not drivin' anyone anywhere."

I swallowed, finding myself fascinated by her eyes again. Before I knew what I was doing, I had stepped much closer to her than I really ought to have been to a stranger, and one of my hands was reaching up to touch the soft skin at her temple. "Your eyes change colors," I said.

She stared back down at me, her gaze sparking with something that, if I didn't know any better, I'd call lust, but it winked out almost as soon as I noticed it. She disengaged my hand from her face, pushing it back towards me. "C'mon now, Jessica, was it?" I nodded, feeling small as I put my hand back in the pocket of my coat, looking down, ashamed. She sighed and I risked a glance up at her face, watching her watch me. After a brief hesitation, she shrugged and waved her hand. "Let me walk you back and call you a cab."

Her words felt a little delayed, but when I realized what she was saying, I grinned at her. "Okay."

We started back the way we'd come, me weaving a little bit as we walked, though I noted that I felt a lot less drunk than I had when I'd come out of the bar in the first place. She didn't seem too interested in conversation, but my mind had apparently caught up with the whole situation, because I felt my mouth wanting to flap. It actually opened before I slapped a hand over it and stopped walking, and Kate stopped too, looking concerned. "You okay?" she asked, touching my shoulder.

I looked over at her and realized she thought I was trying not to be sick again. I dropped my hand, feeling my face flush, finding myself glad she wouldn't be able to tell with the bad lighting. "Oh?uh?yeah, fine," I said, and conjured up a smile I knew she'd see right through. Sure enough, she didn't look convinced, and I sighed. "I'm okay, really?I just?I was gonna say something stupid and I?" I swallowed and shook my head. "I think I'm drunker than I thought."

She snorted but relaxed, leaning back to give me some space. I shrugged and flashed a sheepish smile, and she actually chuckled, a deep, rolling sound that did wonders for my libido. I forced it back with a stick and we started walking again, until we were back to the steps we'd been sitting on earlier and I felt awkward standing under the lamppost with her. We looked at each other and I found myself wondering if I'd ever see her again, genuinely surprised that I really hoped I would. She broke the moment, though, lifting her eyebrows and nodding at the steps. I traced her features with my eyes again before I led the way up the stairs, glad to feel her presence behind me. She opened the door for me, and the smell of alcohol, sweat, and smoke rolled over me as I weaved through the tables towards the bar where my best friend Tracy was talking the ear off some poor stranger. I came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, Trace," I said.

She whirled around in shock, but when she saw who it was, she grinned and threw her arms around me, her eyes glassy. Her smile was as distant as her eyes, and when she spoke, her voice was rough from all the alcohol. "Hiya, Jessie!" she nearly shouted, her breath absolutely reeking of liquor. The smell made nauseous, so I wriggled out of her grasp, holding her at arm's length and willing my stomach to calm.

I felt Kate squeeze behind me, her body radiating heat. She caught the bartender's attention and leaned forward, her breasts brushing across my back; my heart pounded double-time and I felt myself getting light-headed as I glanced over my shoulder to see her talking to the bartender. I felt her voice rumbling in her chest and my breath caught in my throat. Tracy took advantage of my sudden paralysis to grab my hands and pull me closer, breaking that delicious contact with Kate. I scowled at her, but Tracy just smiled back, too far gone to notice my displeasure. "Where'd ya go, Jessie?" she asked.

I looked back at Kate again; she caught my gaze and smiled, so I smiled back until Tracy tugged on my hands to remind me I was supposed to be talking to her. "I went to get some air," I said, still looking at Kate.

Tracy finally noticed I wasn't really paying attention to her, and decided to get a better look at whoever it was that was distracting me. She leaned to one side so she could peer over my shoulder, and when she saw Kate, her jaw dropped. She stared for a second, then her eyes flicked back to me and she gripped my hands so tight that it hurt. I turned back to glare at her again, but she still didn't notice I was irritated. "She's hot!" she exclaimed, and I immediately felt my face flushing, knowing that pretty much everyone in the bar would've heard that.

I freed my hands from her iron grip somehow and clamped one of them over Tracy's mouth, again looking over at Kate. "Sorry," I muttered, my face absolutely burning with shame.

Kate just chuckled, putting her hand on her shoulder in reassurance. "It's okay," she said, smiling. "She probably won't remember in the morning anyway."

I scowled. "No, but I will."

Kate laughed long and loud, and I felt some of my embarrassment disappearing. She squeezed my shoulder and let go, turning back to the bartender, who'd put a phone and a phone book on the counter. I turned back to Tracy.

I took my hand off of her mouth and gave her the fiercest glare I could summon, which to be fair, wasn't very fierce at all. "You are so in for it later," I growled.

In typical drunk Tracy form, she looked over my shoulder at Kate in wonder. "Did you get her number?" she asked, her earnest face turned back towards me.

I sighed and folded my arms over my chest. "No, I didn't get her number, and no, I won't let you talk to her."

Tracy gave me a championship pout. I continued to glare back. We stayed that way until Kate squeezed out from behind me, touching my arm. "I called you a cab," she said, and I looked up into her eyes, still fascinated by them.

I swallowed hard and managed to plaster a smile on my face. "Thanks," I whispered. She just shrugged, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her coat. We stared at each other until Tracy tugged on the hem of my coat, catching my attention. I turned back towards her, growling, "What?"

"Can we go home, Jessie?" she said, her voice so faint and thin that I actually gave up being mad and felt sorry for her. No matter what she'd done to embarrass me in front of Kate, I'd still brought her out because she'd just broken up with her boyfriend and she needed cheering up-even if the guy was a jerk and didn't deserve her.

I moved away from the bar and she tried to get up, but slipped and nearly fell to the floor. Luckily, Kate caught her before she could even make it halfway; I tossed her a grateful look, grabbing Tracy's purse from the counter and slinging it over my shoulder. With Kate's help, I got my friend out of the bar and onto the stairs outside, making a face at the evidence of my own overindulgence still sitting on the steps. We maneuvered around my mess until we had Tracy down at the bottom of the stairs, where we sat her down. She was giggling and the noise was grating in my ears, but I knew from experience that once she got in the car and started driving, she'd be out cold.

Oh no. She'd be out cold. I couldn't handle her by myself! God only knows how many times I'd tried in the past, and every time I managed to move her about three feet before falling over. I was strong in my way, but I'd never been able to move Trace when she was nothing but dead weight. I bit my lip and looked at Kate, hesitant to ask for her help again. She was a stranger, after all?for all I knew, she could be some psychopath waiting to get me alone so she could?I stopped that train of thought before it went any further. Kate couldn't be crazy, could she? I mean, she'd helped me this much already. If she wanted to do something absolutely horrific, she would have done it earlier when we were alone. Right?

I cleared my throat and scuffed my shoe against the sidewalk, looking sidelong at my rescuer. If I didn't ask Kate, I'd have to try and get the cabby to help me get Tracy inside, and who knew what might happen there. I balled my fists at my sides; it was time to swallow my pride.

"Hey, um?Kate?" I asked, still looking at my shoes.

"Yeah?" Oh, god, the things her voice did to me?I felt a thrill run down my spine straight into my groin, but I ignored it. Drunk and horny. Was there a bigger clich�?

"I, uh?" I paused, trying to think of a good way to phrase it. What was I supposed to say? My best friend weighs a ton and I can't haul her ass up the stairs to my apartment all by myself? I'm a pathetic weakling who isn't worth your time? I'm an idiot and my best friend is a drunk?

Kate interrupted my little bout of self-pity. "Well?" she prompted.

I scowled and kicked at a pebble on the ground, sending it careening into the street. Better off being straightforward, then. "Trace's gonna conk out the minute she gets in that cab," I said. "And?there's no way I can get her up to my apartment like this."

"What, when you're drunk?"

I couldn't help myself. I started laughing. It felt totally inappropriate to be doing so, but there was no way to stop me now that I'd started. I just kept going like an absolute loon, and before I could get a handle on things, a taxi had pulled up in front of us, the window was rolling down, and an ugly man with serious five o'clock shadow and watery eyes was leaning towards us, asking if we were the ones who called a cab. Kate said yes and moved to open the back door, but I managed to control myself and grab her arm, pulling her closer. "Kate, help me, please," I said, somehow managing to sound almost normal.

We shared a long look, and she finally glanced at the cabby, shaking her head. "Never mind. Sorry 'bout the trouble." The man scowled and rolled up the window, his face disappearing into the reflected glare of the street light. Kate turned her attention back to me. "Guess I'm taking you home then, huh." It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded anyway. She looked at Tracy, who was staring off into space, totally oblivious to what was going on around her. I knew that look-she'd pass out soon.

I pulled away from Kate and went over to my best friend, cupping her cheek in my hand. "Trace?" I said. She kept staring, so I tried again, a little louder. "Tracy!"

She blinked her eyes rapidly. "Huh?"

"C'mon, we're going home." I nodded to Kate to help me, but she shook her head.

"You stay with her; I'll get my car and come get you."

I smiled my relief at her. "Thanks." She shrugged and didn't say anything, heading off down the sidewalk. I sank down onto the step next to Tracy, sighing. This had been some night. Take my best friend out for a drink to get her mind off her no-good ex-boyfriend, end up getting totally shit-faced and puking on some hot woman's shoes, only to have said hot woman offer to take me and my nearly blackout drunk best friend home. Even in my dreams I wouldn't have come up with this scenario. Well, maybe the part about a hot woman taking me home, but not this way. Not because I was three sheets to the wind and incapable of driving myself home.

I shook my head, bracing my elbows on my knees and dropping my chin into my hands as I stared into the darkness across the street. This was some kind of mess, and I had no idea what to do about it. I mean, obviously Kate and I would get Tracy into the car and then my heroine would drive me?where should I tell her to go? Should I tell her to take me to my apartment, or to Tracy's house? I swallowed and bit my lip, trying to get my brain to think faster than it could at the moment. Luckily, the decision came quickly enough, because I remembered that I lived on the third floor of my building, while there would be no stairs involved if we went to Tracy's house?even if it meant running the risk of bumping into Mr. Asshole, the ex. He would probably be back some time within the next day or two to get his things, since Tracy had made it clear that she wanted him out of the house. Whatever. Maybe I'd throw some of his things in a suitcase while Trace slept it off, assuming I didn't crash, too.

My thoughts were interrupted when a dark SUV pulled up in front of us and Kate got out, coming over to help me with Tracy. I gave her shoulder a shake, and she blinked at me, not seeming to understand that I was talking to her. I rolled my eyes and, with Kate's help, got her into the back seat of the car, buckling the seatbelt across her lap and shaking my head as she just stared over my shoulder. I climbed up into the front seat next to Kate and buckled myself in, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, noting that the car smelled like her-like cigarettes and roses. I swallowed hard and turned my head to look at her, only to find her staring at me. I blushed, but managed not to look away.

"So where're we going?" she asked, and I blushed a deeper shade of pink, glad that she wouldn't be able to tell in the darkness. I gave her a vague sense of direction and she nodded, fastening her own seatbelt and starting the car, making a u-turn at the first chance so we were heading in the right direction.

I found myself staring at her again, watching the way the shadows played on her face as we sped along, how the light danced across her features in bars as we moved through the alternating pools of light and shade caused by the spacing of the lampposts. I was staring again, and again, she knew it, but she either didn't care or chose not to comment, because she kept her eyes on the road. Eventually she seemed to tire of the silence, but instead of starting conversation, she reached forward and turned on the radio, the sounds of the local classic rock station filling the car. The noise seemed to break my trance, because I remembered we weren't the only ones in the car, and turned around to check on Tracy who, sure enough, was fast asleep, head lolling against the window, lips slightly parted. I chuckled and turned back around. Kate shot me a questioning look, which I caught, so I explained. "I knew she'd be gone once we started driving," I said. "I was right, too."

The corner of her mouth quirked up, and I beamed at her, unable to control myself. She glanced at me again, and this time it was her turn to chuckle. "You're a pretty happy drunk, Jessica," she said, and the way she said my name sent waves of pleasure through me. It rolled off her tongue like she was born to say it.

"Say my name again," I whispered. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I blushed and looked down at my hands in my lap, feeling a total fool.

But she surprised me, because she did say my name again, and as before, it burned through me, leaving my whole body tingling. I was horny again, but I tried my best to ignore it. Apparently it wasn't working, because as I shifted in my seat, my thighs rubbed together and I felt a distinct wetness there. I couldn't help myself. I moaned.

Of course, I immediately turned five different shades of red and buried my face in my hands, slipping down in the seat and trying to pretend I didn't exist.

That didn't stop Kate, though. She started laughing, real, full laughter, which only added to my embarrassment. I slid down further in the seat, trying to will myself invisible as her laughter started to wane, until she'd wasted the last few chuckles. I dared to drop my hands and peek at her out of the corner of my eye, and I saw a huge smile on her face as her eyes darted back and forth between me and the road. "Can't say I've ever had that effect on someone without touching them," she said, and her smoky voice built another moan in my throat, but I cut this one off before it could betray me. She shook her head and kept smiling to herself, but I was too mortified to make a sound, afraid I'd do something else stupid. Unfortunately, I was so focused on not existing that I forgot to tell Kate to turn until we'd passed the street.

A strangled noise came out of my throat as I watched her breeze past the turn. "Kate?" It came out almost as strangled as whatever that had been just moments ago.

"Hmm?"

"You missed the turn."

"Shit!" She looked both ways and checked the rearview mirror, and not seeing anyone, jerked the wheel hard to the left so that we swerved around, pulling a u-turn right there in the middle of the street.

My eyes were wide and I heard Tracy shifting in the back seat, the sudden movement apparently having interrupted her nap. I told Kate which street it was and made her repeat it to me before I turned around to check on my friend. She turned her bleary eyes towards me, and I conjured up a smile. "It's okay, Trace-we're almost there," I reassured, reaching out to pat her knee with one hand, even though the seatbelt cut into my stomach and made the gesture uncomfortable. She frowned and shifted in the seat, eyes already closing again, and I found the smile on my face was more natural than it had been. I gave her knee a squeeze and turned back around in the seat, blowing out a sigh of relief as Kate turned onto the right street for Tracy's house. I directed her up into the driveway, glad to see the asshole's car wasn't there. Once we were parked, Kate and I got out of the car, and helped a somnolent Tracy up the three stairs to her porch, where I managed to pry her purse free of her hands, leaving Kate to lean her up against the wall by the door. I rummaged through her things and then started cursing up a blue streak, because her keys weren't there.

I dumped the contents of the damn purse out on the porch and sorted through them there, cursing again when I saw that the keys were still missing. Purse in one hand, a package of Kleenex in the other, I sat there and fumed, remembering exactly how this had happened. Tracy had driven over to my apartment, and I'd tried to get her to leave her whole purse behind, but she insisted on bringing some things, because "you never know what might happen." Looking down at the things on the porch before me-consisting mostly of her ID, cell phone, feminine products, makeup, breath mints, band-aids and a small pharmacy of over-the-counter painkillers, decongestants, and antihistamines-I felt suddenly bitter, knowing she'd left her keys, wallet, and anything else valuable on the coffee table in front of my couch, where we'd been sitting discussing going out.

I felt my hand closing into a fist around the package of Kleenex and made a conscious effort to relax my grip, watching the tissues fall on top of the rest of Tracy's stuff. I looked up to see Kate staring, and I flushed again. "No key," I grumbled, starting to pack things back into the purse I still held in my other hand. That done, I slung the purse of my shoulder, stood, and brushed myself off, seeing Kate supporting Tracy against the brick of her home. "I guess we have to go back to my place," I said, running a hand through my short hair with a sigh.

Kate stared at me for a moment longer. "Does she have a spare somewhere?" she asked, and I gawked for a second before smacking my forehead with my palm.

"No, but the garage has a code!" I nearly shouted, feeling like a complete idiot. "Stay here," I said, hurrying off the porch. I thought I heard Kate mumble something about not having a choice, but I was already too far away to be sure.

I hurried down the driveway to the garage, going over to the edge of the garage door and seeing the white box there, I sighed with relief. I flipped the lid open and punched in the code for the garage door, and was immediately rewarded by the rumbling noise of the door opening. I grinned and went back down the drive, hopping up the porch steps. "C'mon, we'll take her in through the back," I said, taking up my place on one side of my friend. She was almost totally out cold now, so our job was a little bit harder, but we got inside the garage and I nodded my head at the door to the left that would let us into the house. "Hang on, I'll probably have to turn off the alarm." I tried the door, relieved that it wasn't locked, and I sighed when the alarm started beeping. I punched in the code and the alarm stopped, so I went back out and helped Kate. In we went, through the laundry room and the study, past the kitchen and into the living room, where we stopped long enough for me to get Tracy's coat and shoes off before we laid her down on the couch. We stood there watching her sleep for a few moments before I looked over at Kate, not ready to see her leave yet. She looked uncomfortable, so I knew I had to come up with a reason for her to stay a little longer-and fast. "Want a drink?" I asked, not even giving her the chance to say no before I was off like a shot into the kitchen.

I guess she followed behind me, because she came in a little bit later, and I pushed a glass of water down the counter towards her, my mouth occupied with guzzling my own water. She picked it up and held it for a while before taking a sip; I was finished with my glass before hers had even touched her lips. I refilled mine from the refrigerator, watching her over the rim of the glass as she stared into her own. I downed that one in record time, too, and then set it down on the counter, turning towards her. "Thanks," I whispered, too shy to meet her gaze.

I heard her set her glass down, too, and felt her hand on my chin, pulling it up so I was looking into her eyes. She smiled at me, her thumb brushing across my cheek, and I felt my knees going weak, so I put one hand on the counter to steady myself, licking my lips. I noticed her eyes flicker down to follow the path of my tongue, but then they locked onto mine again, and we just stared at each other for a long moment. I think she stepped closer, but I'm not sure-we were already closer together than most strangers would stand. We were almost close enough to be breathing the same air, and I found myself hoping she'd kiss me, but when those lips moved, it was just to whisper back, "You're welcome."

Then she was pulling away, stepping back across the kitchen, leaving me in a dizzy haze of arousal. I tried to swallow but my mouth was dry, so I grabbed her nearly-full glass of water from the counter and drank most of it in one gulp. I took my time setting the glass down, one hand gripping the edge of the counter so tightly that my knuckles were white. When I thought I finally had control of myself again, I turned around to see her leaning against the edge of the kitchen table, arms folded over her chest. I felt awkward, and ended up shoving my hands into my pockets just for something to do. I found myself toeing the fringe of the rug that covered the tile in front of the sink, willing her to say something so that I didn't have to, but the silence stretched on until I couldn't stand it any more, and I looked back up to see she was still watching me. I couldn't figure out the way she was looking at me, but I know there was something about the silence that really put me on edge, so that all of a sudden, I just wanted her gone. "I guess you'd better go," I said, probably louder than necessary, turning away from her and walking out of the kitchen, towards the front door. It was easy enough to unlock and open, and there I was on the porch, staring out at Tracy's front lawn and Kate's SUV parked in the driveway. I felt a presence at my back, and knew Kate had followed me out, though she still hadn't said anything.

I turned around and we stared at each other again; she looked me up and down and I blushed as she smirked. "You're in my way," she said, her voice soft, maybe so she wouldn't disturb Tracy, or maybe just so I'd have to strain to hear her over the soft night sounds behind me. When I realized what she said I turned so I was mostly out of the way and she squeezed past me, taking longer than she really needed to get through a door, even with me still taking up about half of it. I felt her heat and the contact, no, lack of contact, was almost painful. She was still looking in my eyes as she emerged on the other side of the door.

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything, but she didn't either. Nor did she move to step off the porch, leaving us standing there in the darkness in awkward silence, each hoping the other would speak and dreading the moment she did, because that would be one step closer to what could potentially be goodbye forever.

That thought struck me to the core, and I summoned the courage to clear my throat and say something. My eyes were fixed to the floor at my feet as I stood there in the doorway, fidgeting. "Will I see you again?" I asked.

She didn't say anything for so long that I was worried she'd left without my noticing. My head snapped up, but she was still standing there. "God, I hope so," she breathed.

I sucked a breath in at the longing in her voice-it told me that she was definitely interested, and that this attraction I'd felt to her was definitely not one-sided. I swallowed and took a hesitant step out onto the porch, surprised when I felt her hand on my waist, pulling me closer, close enough that again I was sure she was going to kiss me-but then her other arm enfolded me, pressing her against her in an embrace so warm and comfortable that I sighed with pleasure at her warmth and the feel of our bodies pressed so close together. "Jessica," she whispered, right into my ear; I moaned again, my arms clutching her tighter, my knees nearly giving out. Luckily, she was holding on to me, so I found I was still standing. This time, I wasn't embarrassed at the sound that had slipped from my lips, too overwhelmed by sensation to care, but I felt her smiling against my ear, and then she was letting go, and somehow I was standing on my own, eyes closed, lips parted, afraid to look and see that I'd dreamed this whole thing up.

When I gathered the courage to do so, she was still standing there, though she now had a cigarette tucked between her lips, and her fingers were playing with her lighter, as if she were afraid of using it. It was apparent we didn't know what to do next, but somehow I got a bright idea, because I was pulling my cell phone out of my pocket and holding it out to her. She looked confused, so I explained. "Your number, so I can call you," I said. She smirked around her cigarette and took the phone, pressing the numbers and then what I assumed must be her name. When she was done, she passed it back to me, and I held on to the phone like a lifeline. I looked down at my feet, shuffling them just so I'd have something to do. "I?I'll call you, then," I said.

Kate lifted my chin again so I was looking into her eyes, which sparkled with amusement. She took the cigarette from between her lips and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "You do that," she whispered, and with that, she mouthed the cigarette and was down the stairs and back in her car before I'd fully managed to grasp the whole situation. Once she was in the driver's seat she started the car and I thought she was going to leave right then, but she paused to roll down the window. I saw a flicker of light and knew she'd lit her cigarette; after a moment, she put her car in gear and backed out of the driveway. She stopped at the end of the drive, dangling her cigarette out the window, and before I knew what was happening, I was there, pressed up against the side of her SUV, my hands reaching through the open window and pulling her face to mine.

We kissed, her lips hot on mine, sending a trail of fire down between my legs. I broke away, gasping, my hands clutching her cheeks, feeling a literal burning against my stomach. I pulled away to see her cigarette had burnt through my shirt. When I looked up, she'd planted it firmly between her lips again; she arched an eyebrow at me, smirked, disengaged my hands from her face, and blew a cloud of smoke in my direction.

Then, without warning, she was out of the driveway and down the street, leaving me with my hand pressed to my lips, surrounded by smoke and, faintly, the smell of roses.