"Danny, she's burning up." Ashley said as she pressed the cold compress to Keegan's head. When Ashley used her full name, Danny frantically called another number on the list and got another doctor's answering service. Sunday's were not the best time to get a hold of a doctor.
"I can't reach anyone. I keep leaving messages." Danny quickly redialed Keegan's primary care physician, Dr. Walters.
"What about the ER? We could take her there." Ashley knew her sister would be pissed off. The last thing Keegan wanted was to go to "Emergency Room Butchers" as she so eloquently referred to residents at Weston. "I could try Dr. Micah. I'm sure she'd call back. I think this is her personal number." Ashley thumbed through her sister's cell phone entries.
#
Suburban homes flew past the windows as Gwen sped through the suburb towards Bobby's townhouse. Bobby arranged the rental car for her. He figured a SUV would be the best thing for Gwen to drive in the snow. She pulled the rental to a stop at an intersection. Slowly she let out the breath she realized she was holding. Instinctively, she loosed her grip on the steering wheel and flexed her fingers in the cold air. Visible puffs of her breath swirled through the air around her. She was freezing. How could people live in here all year round? She was in agreement with Mrs. Preston. She'd seriously consider going to Florida during the winter months if she lived here. She rubbed her hands together trying to gain some feeling back in her fingers. The temperature was dropping as evening approached. Remembering the pair of gloves Bobby gave her, she reached for her purse. Where the hell was her purse? She flipped around in her seat looking for where she put her purse. There was nothing on the passenger's seat. The back seats were bare as well. She sat for a few moments at the green light until a car behind her honked its horn in annoyance, then pulled through the intersection and into a driveway. She left her purse at Ashley Garry's house. She needed to turn around and go back. Maybe she could have Bobby send a courier for it. Keegan asked her to leave and she didn't want to upset her further. Her cell phone was in her purse. She didn't know Bobby's new phone number.
The first thing Gwen noticed was the open driver's door of the red BMW sedan parked at an angle in Ashley's driveway. She looked at the digital read out on the dashboard clock. She'd been gone for forty five minutes, an hour tops, what the hell was going on? The front door was ajar and raised voices could be heard. Getting out of truck, she walked to the open door. She knocked but knew there was no way the occupants of the house could hear her. Pushing in the front door, she entered and waited for a moment in the foyer. Silently, she debated whether to follow the voices and make her presence know or just walk in to the dining room to retrieve her purse. Earlier, she over stepped her bounds with Keegan, if she really wanted to build a relationship with her ex-girlfriend, she would have to take it slow. She quickly walked through the house and into the dining room. Her purse was right where she left it, grabbing the bag she started walking towards the front door when Danny came down stairs. Voices filtered from the second floor.
"Sorry…I knocked." Gwen said as she raised an eyebrow when voices were heard. "Can I ask?" Gwen raised a finger pointing towards the upstairs.
"Pig headedness." Danny answer was exasperated. "You want to help?" Gwen slowly nodded, not sure what she was agreeing to. "Do you need to be anywhere tonight?"
"I'm free." She had not made any official plans with Bobby. His schedule changed often depending on what was going on with the team.
"Follow me." Danny turned around and head back up the stairs. Tentatively Gwen placed her foot on the first step. She looked up the stairwell to see Ashley pacing in the hallway. She was mumbling under her breath. Another voice filtered into the air, annoyed and loud Gwen did not recognize it.
"I'm an adult. May I remind everyone of that fact?" Keegan's voice was soft and reasonable. Gwen knew her tone too well. The woman was digging her heels into the dirt and not budging.
"You can't do that." The heavy set blonde with the pixie hair cut countered. Her hands were set on her hips as she scoffed at Keegan sitting in the bed. Gwen took in her mussed hair and rumpled clothing and thought Keegan looked beautiful.
"I can do whatever I want." Keegan's blue eyes shot towards the doorway when Danny and Gwen entered the room. "You want to get in on this?" Keegan threw the venomous remark towards Gwen.
"Keegan, what do you want?" Gwen said passively. She knew if she fed into the argument the dark haired woman would become unreasonable.
"To go home." Keegan folded her arms on her stomach and stared at the large blonde in front of her.
"Not by yourself." Carrie scolded the woman who dared to defy her instructions.
"I didn't ask for your opinion, professional or personal, Carrie." Keegan began to get out of the bed. Her face was flushed and sweat was visible on her forehead. Her sister's concern for her health had the OBGYN barking orders at her from the end of the bed. When soft brown eyes met hers, she caught her breath. "I'm going home to my bed and I will take care of my health as I see fit."
"You shouldn't be by yourself." Carrie's voice rose a bit.
"I'll stay with you." Gwen's comment turned the focus in the room away from Keegan and to herself. When Gwen saw the dark angry stare of the doctor, she recognized the threat. Carrie was fuming. She wanted to take care of Keegan. She wanted to spend the night and become closer to the pregnant woman.
"Who the hell?" Carrie realized at that moment the tall blonde woman in the doorway was America's Sweetheart. "Oh." Her gaze went between Keegan and Gwen trying to measure the familiarity between the women. She knew they were teammates at one time, but Keegan never elaborated on any relationship.
"Gwen Lerner." Gwen extended her hand to the pixie blonde whose mouth still hung slightly open.
"Carrie Micah, Doctor Micah." The blonde's cheeks flushed as she realized she was trying to impress the soccer star.
"Wow, you make house calls? I didn't realize that still happens." Gwen stated as she saw the amused smirk on Keegan's face. "I forgot my purse so I came back." Gwen felt the need to explain her presence. "My schedule is open, so if you want to go home, I'd be more than happy to stay with you. It may give us a little time to talk."
"What she needs is rest!" Carrie insisted as she stepped towards Keegan as if she was going to see her back into bed. "I should call the paramedics and have you admitted."
"You're over stepping your bounds, doctor." Keegan stood on shaky legs. Her head ached. She wanted Carrie to stop yelling at her like she was a four year old. The sympathetic look in Gwen eyes showed understanding. "Gwen, I'd appreciate it if you took me home. And I will decide on whether or not I need a babysitter." She made sure she had everyone's attention.
"Let me get the car ready. Do you need anything from your car?" Gwen saw the surprise in Keegan's eyes.
"Yes, there is a bag in the back and the garage door opener. Thank you." Keegan watched as the blonde left without an argument. Ashley stood at the door jam her head hanging low. "At least someone here thinks I can make my own decisions. And you…." Keegan singled her sister out. "I'm pissed at you!" She grabbed her coat as she slowly exited the room. Danny followed closely behind her. Gwen returned to the house and was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
"There was a bag of Andy's things in the car. I brought it in. Keegan, do you need help to the car?" Gwen handed the overnight bag to Danny. A small smile was exchanged. Keegan stood at the bottom of the steps and shook her head. Gwen held open the door. A quick turn to Danny with a nod sent some reassurance that she was not going to leave Keegan alone.
Grateful for Gwen's presence at the moment, Keegan felt the cold winter breeze against her face. She wanted to go home and curl up in bed and sleep. Feeling a slight brush against her shoulder, Gwen stepped in front of her and opened the door of the green Envoy. Keegan grabbed the door handle and lifted herself into the front seat. She closed her eyes as she felt the warmth of the heated seat beneath her. At the sound of Gwen shutting the door, Keegan raised her eyelids to watch her cross the front of the truck. Gwen jumped into the cab quickly, trying not to let the warm air escape. She set her hands on the wheel and began to flex her fingers out.
"What are you nervous about?" Keegan asked as she stared at Gwen's hands. She loved her hands. Strong with tendons popped off the backs, the long fingers she was once touched by, held with.
"You." Gwen confessed as she put the truck in gear and backed out of the driveway. Once in the street and heading towards the main road of the development, Gwen cleared her throat and asked. "Where is home?" She thought about how they used to drive together all the time. When the plane would land in San Jose, they would take turns driving from the airport to their home. Anger began to return as she navigated the subdivision.
"My parent's house." Keegan said quietly. "If you get to the main road, make a left and…" She looked over at Gwen who seemed very quiet. "You may remember once you get close. You were always good with directions."
"It's been a while and to be honest the last time I was there isn't the fondest memory I have." Gwen's words were a bit harsher than she intended. "I'm sorry." She immediately said. "I didn't mean…"
She glanced at Keegan and noticed how pale her passenger was. Reaching a hand out to touch her forehead, she felt the raised body heat. "I'll get you home so you can rest, ok?" Keegan nodded. For the first time, Gwen was concerned but she knew trying to tell her passenger what to do was out of the question.
The landscape became familiar as they passed the church where the Garrys worshipped. Never part of her childhood to go to church, she attended Christmas service with the Garry family at the large stone church on corner of Main Street and Fleet Street. She slowed the truck down as she approached the cedar sided split at the end of the cul de sac. The driveway was freshly plowed and the sidewalks cleared. Gwen pressed the button on garage door opener. Keegan appeared to be asleep. Easing the Envoy into the two car attached garage, Gwen noticed the motorcycle covered in the corner. The garage was very neat. Tools were hung on the wall and a lawnmower was tucked into the corner. Just like her dad.
#
As if in a dream world, Keegan lifted her head to see Gwen's face close to hers. A warm blanket covered her forming a warm cocoon as she slept in a comfortable safe place. Feeling better, she let a soft sigh escape when a cool cloth was placed on her head. In this world, her life was as it should be. Cracking an eyelid open, she saw Gwen at her side. The blonde spoke soothing words and placed small touches to her forehead and cheek. Opening her blue eyes wider, Keegan stared at the shadowy figure at her side. A tan hand reached out with the damp cloth and touched her throat, wiping away the sweat.
"Are you really here?" Keegan asked as she freed her hand from the covers to touch Gwen's arm. Gwen leaned forward and pressed her lips to Keegan's brow than a bright smile appeared on her face.
"For as long as you want me here." Gwen whispered in her ear, letting her lips lightly brush over the lobe.
"Good." Keegan snuggled in the covers and nestled her head on the pillow near Gwen's form. She had had this dream before. Gwen sitting with her, holding her hand as pain coursed through her body. Each time the chemo drip sent a burning sensation in her veins she prayed for the pain to go away. The calming cadence of Gwen voice lulled her to a peaceful sleep, just as she had done in her dream world.
Sitting in a high back chair next to the bed, Gwen continued to touch Keegan. Her fever broke not long after she fell asleep. When Gwen had pulled the truck into the drive, Keegan was fast asleep in the passengers' seat. Not able to wake her fully, Gwen ended up carrying the small woman into the house, placing her gingerly on the queen size bed in the master bedroom. Keegan was burning up, so Gwen went into preventative mode. She got cold water and a towel. Placing ice in the bowl with the water, she continued to press the damp cloth to Keegan's skin. Only leaving Keegan's side for a few seconds, she understood why the others were so concerned. A fever usually meant infection. The immune system was the first defense to fight it off any infection. Was Keegan's immune system strong enough to fight off the infection? Any sign of infection was a concern for leukemia patient. Gwen was doubly concerned because of Keegan's pregnancy.
Gwen studied the figure on the bed as she continued the regiment of the cold compresses. When the fever broke, Keegan turned and looked at her with hazy blue eyes. Asking the strangest question of if she was actually there took Gwen by surprise, not sure if the line of questioning was the result of the fever or if Keegan actually knew what she was saying. Gwen ran her hand along Keegan's arm for reassurance. Standing up, she leaned in and pressed her lips to a now much cooler forehead and let her lips linger a little longer than necessary. She missed this woman. In the short period of time seeing Keegan, Gwen knew wanted her back in her life. Taking a few steps away from the bed, a feeling of regret and guilt washed through her body, she should have known something was wrong. Their last night together in Miami, she had asked Keegan and in typical, stubborn fashion, Keegan denied anything was wrong. She thought back to that night Keegan came to her room.
A knock on her door sent the paperback, Gwen's entertainment for the evening face down on the mattress. Gwen had been waiting since the early afternoon to see what was happening with Keegan.
"Hey." Gwen smiled brightly at the woman who held her heart. A surge of relief that washed over her as she looked over the harsh damage Shannon's elbow inflicted. The large bruise running across the bridge of Keegan's nose did not take away from her classic features. She had a slightly up turned nose, high cheek bones and well chiseled jaw line. A small dimple at the clef of her chin showed only when she was worried and it was prominent now. "Are you okay?" When Keegan shook her head the spiky cropped brown hair on her head moved slightly. Gwen grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room.
Safe behind the closed door, Gwen wrapped her arms around the shorter woman trying to ease the worried look that marred Keegan's stoic face. "Want to talk about it?" Knowing Keegan like she did, she knew the stubborn Irish blood running through her girlfriend's veins would never open up, but she needed to try. Gwen led her lover to the single bed pushed against the wall and sat down. "Sure you don't want to talk?" Gwen asked, giving her another opportunity as she ran her fingers along her jaw, lightly over her bruised cheek to push a loose piece of hair behind her ear. Curling her fingers in Keegan's hair, she pressed a soft kiss on her lips.
"No. Can you hold me for awhile?" Keegan's soft vulnerable response sent a shiver through Gwen's body.
Gwen could hear the fear in her voice. Keegan was scared. Her body trembled slightly as Gwen sat down on the bed leaning back and pulling Keegan against her chest. Her fingers ran soothingly through the dark short hair. Keegan's cheek pressed against her breast as Gwen's arms wrapped around her, holding her close. Kissing the top of the brown hair, Gwen tried not to show her concern. She had seen changes in her girlfriend over the last few months. Small things at first, like their morning runs. Keegan would set a steady pace usually with Gwen by her side. Her pace became slower and slower. The day came when Keegan didn't want to run any more. The morning run was too much along with the six hour practice and weight training afterwards. Gwen didn't even want to go into the physical part of their relationship. Frustrated, she had taken matters in to her own hands. She knew Keegan loved her but there was something off.
On the field, Keegan's game began to slip. Playing on the same team for the last three and a half years and watching her in matches for years prior, she knew the level of play her girlfriend was capable of and it wasn't there anymore. Her movements were slow and sluggish.
Gwen ran her other hand along Keegan's back in a soothing motion. She held her tight and whispered words of encouragement as she felt a shiver run through Keegan's body.
In her head, she cursed herself for not asking Keegan about it or at least trying to open the line of communication. Instead, she felt like they were drifting farther and farther apart. It wasn't about lack of time together. It was about lack of time away from other people, coaches, teammates, staff, and Keegan's family. The Garry family was always around. Gwen had never seen a family so close. Either her parents or one of the sisters were always calling. She knew Keegan loved her family, but Gwen couldn't understand how they could talk on the phone for hours at a time. Never close to her own parents or their new significant had others, Gwen had basically grown up on her own as a latch key child with the exception of Christopher and Molly, the closest family she had. She leaned forward and placed a loving kiss on Keegan's lips. "Everything will work out, sweetie. You're just having a rough day." Keegan snorted as closed her eyes and squeezed Gwen's waist. Gwen tightened her grasp. "I just wanted to hold you." Gwen confessed. "You've been gone all day and I was worried. I thought you'd be back before now. I even cornered Curtis to see what was going on. He just shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something about doctors. I tend to agree with him on that." Gwen kissed her ear lobe.
"We have until curfew." Keegan turned and kissed Gwen on the mouth. "I want to make love. It feels like such a long time since we have." Keegan's voice faltered between kisses.
Sensing something was off with her girlfriend, Gwen kissed her neck as she ran her hands down Keegan's back. She felt a firm grip on her ass as Keegan pulled her closer. When Keegan kissed her ear, Gwen let out a soft moan. Keegan's touches were intense. Gwen took care to avoid the injured nose and the bruised eye. She moved to straddle Keegan's waist, pinning her to the mattress.
"What are you doing?" Keegan laughed as Gwen ran her index finger along her jaw and over the bruised skin.
"Examining you! If those doctors can take their time, so can I." Gwen said as she took Keegan's hands and pulled them over her head. She captured her wrists and held them. Gwen continued to kiss her lips. Tracing a path of kisses along the sensitive skin by her ear and down her neck, Gwen released her hands as she moved to touch Keegan's face.
"You're much better looking than the doctors." Gwen kissed her on the lips for the compliment. Keegan put her hands on Gwen's waist. "The nurse may give you a run for your money." Keegan teased as she kissed Gwen back. She lifted her hips to push against Gwen's bottom.
"You better be kidding Garry, or I'll have to torture you." Gwen laughed as she lifted her shirt off. She looked at the clock. "We've got time." Her words brought a sad look to Keegan's eyes. "Come on off with this. Unless you're cold?" Gwen said as she pulled Keegan's shirt and sports bra off. Keegan removed the hair tie from Gwen's blonde locks. She ran her fingers through the thickness as she sat up and pulled Gwen closer to her. She could feel Gwen's sports bra rubbing against her chest. She lifted Gwen's bra over her head. Their breasts touched as each moaned from the sensation of the contact and nipples tightened into hard points. Gwen's knee went between Keegan's thighs. Keegan wrapped her legs around Gwen's waist. Gwen dipped her head to kiss Keegan's breast. Keegan held her breath as Gwen kissed and nuzzled both her breasts. When Gwen took the peak into her mouth, Keegan released a strained groan. Holding Gwen's head tight to her chest with one hand, the other hooked on the waistband of Gwen's shorts, sliding the mesh material over her hips and on to the floor. Gwen's hand replaced her mouth as her fingers pinched and fondled Keegan's sensitive flesh. Gwen pushed the peaks together as she kissed each.
"God, I love you." The pink tips hardened under her touch. Gwen continued to kiss and touch Keegan as her lips began to move lower. She lifted Keegan's hips to slide off her shorts. Keegan's stomach convulsed as Gwen's tongue traced a line to her belly button. Keegan began to laugh as Gwen tickled her. Keegan moved her fingers across Gwen's bottom. She slipped her hand lower to touch Gwen's wetness from behind. Gwen shot up with Keegan's touch. She smiled as she held on to Keegan's waist as she continued to trail her kisses lower. Keegan held her breath as she felt Gwen's hot breath on her center. Gwen's kisses continued. She spread Keegan's legs. Gwen's tongue tasted Keegan's nectar. Gwen's fingers slipped into Keegan's center as her thumb caressed the sensitive nerves making Keegan call out her name.
"Oh oh.." Keegan screamed as Gwen pressed against her tongue on her clit. Keegan pushed Gwen's head deeper. Her legs wrapped around Gwen's body and urged her deeper. Keegan grabbed at the headboard as Gwen sucked at her clit and her fingers slipped in and out of her. Warm honey flowed as she fought to hold on to the release building. She let out a scream as a white light filled her head. Gwen continued to feed on her, stroking, touching caressing her body. Slowly the tension eased from Keegan's body as she loosened her grip on the sheets and Gwen.
"Stop. Stop." Keegan said as she tried to settle her reaction to Gwen's touch. Gwen smiled as she wiped the milky sheen off her face as she climbed up Keegan's body. Keegan tried to catch her breath. Gwen kissed her and settled into the crook of her arm. Keegan's chest rose and fell as she tried to calm herself down. Amazed, as each time they came together their love making became more and more intense.
Keegan didn't speak as she moved on top of Gwen. Although her breathing was still labored, she kissed Gwen on her lips and her face. She could taste her release on Gwen's skin. She smiled and continued to kiss her girlfriend. Keegan moved her hand between Gwen's legs and felt the wetness at her center. Gwen moved against her hand. Keegan dipped deeper, touching Gwen as she felt the heat from her body and the wetness of her desire. She moved two fingers inside of her and began to push against her clit with her thumb. Gwen reacted to her touch immediately. Keegan's thumb circled the enlarged nerves, fondling and stroking her as her lover did. From the noises Gwen made Keegan knew Gwen was close. She kissed Gwen passionately and trailed a line of kisses from her lips to her breast. Keegan began to increase the cadence of her motions as her mouth captured Gwen's breast. Each peaked and popped against her tongue as she stroked. Gwen's legs wrapped tight against Keegan's back. Faster and faster her body pressed into Gwen's. She focused on Gwen's pleasure and release. Gwen held fast as she continued to rock with her.
Against her fingers, she felt Gwen's muscles constrict and her upper body convulse as Keegan wrapped her in her arms and held her tight. Gwen muffled a cry as she kissed Keegan's neck. They lay on the bed wrapped in each other's arms for a moment. They're breathing labored as sweat beaded on their flesh. Gwen rolled to her side and pulled Keegan to her chest, snuggling close. They continued to cuddle on the hotel bed. At ease in holding each other, as they had done endless times. Close to eleven o'clock, Keegan rolled away, needing to return to her room before curfew. Just before she left, she leaned towards Gwen and whispered "Be great." She brushed a light kiss across Gwen's lips. The honest genuine touch of Keegan's lips against hers left Gwen wanting more. She wanted to be at their home, making love in their bed. Waking up in each other's arms, instead a quiet goodbye was said and the small dark haired woman left the room.
"Keegan!" The voice on the other end was filled with worry. Ashley answered the call an immediate. "I'm so sorry."
"Easy there Ash. It's Gwen." She heard the quick exhale of breath and the side conversation to Danny.
"How is she?" Ash asked. "I really didn't mean to piss her off. I just wanted to make sure she is okay."
"Her fever broke about a half hour ago. She's sleeping." Gwen waited for a moment on the line as she listened to Ash relay the information to Danny. "Ashley, does your sister talk in her sleep?"
"Sometimes, especially when she's sick. With the leukemia, she'd say strange things and talk to people who weren't in the room." Ash stopped for a moment. "Do you want Danny or me to come over?"
Gwen looked around the homey kitchen with the nooks and crannies Keegan had decorated with. "No, if you don't mind, I'll stay. I don't have anywhere to be. I have to call Bobby yet, but I think he'll understand."
"He sounds like a great guy." Ashley added.
"He is. I'll call you in the morning unless something comes up." Gwen hung up the phone and searched the house for the charge cradle. Like Ashley's house, family photographs hung in every room. The décor had been updated since she last visited. Sarah and Bill moving gave Keegan the perfect opportunity to purchase the house where her childhood memories were experienced. Gwen's childhood was a series of rental apartment with a sparse weekend at her father's house every couple of months. If she would ever label a specific location as home, it would be the Madden house. The elder couple gave her the only solid home she had during her childhood. She thought she and Keegan shared a home. Even the Garrys welcomed her making her feeling comfortable in their home. Standing in Keegan's home, she was hoping to find that feeling again. Keegan had put significant effort into changing her parents home hers. The tastefully decorated living room with a soft blue paint on the walls and a off white shade of carpet. A multi colored fabric covered couch and loveseat placed in the center of the room created an area to socialize. Oak tables matched the windowpanes and the baseboards that ran through the room. Family photos and little knick-knacks lined the end table and the television stand. She liked the new looked and feel to the room.
She made her way to her favorite room in the Garry house, the den. She wondered what Keegan did with it. The room where she spent many of her visits in front of the fireplace, watching movies while lounging on the couch, sharing kisses. The multi color brick fireplace was intact but the bricks were painted white to brighten up the room. A mushroom colored paint covered the walls to accent the beige carpeting. The large brown brush suede leather sectional filled the center of the room. Photos lined up on the mantle grabbed Gwen's attention drawing her towards them.
The family portrait from when the girls were in high school and grade school made her laugh. Keegan's smile was still bright although she had braces on. Meghan still carrying baby fat and Ash was sporting a hair cut that was a fashion faux pas in any other era. The photos moved along in years, as Gwen touched the one of Keegan holding the national trophy for the NCAA championship. There were a few of the national team in Japan and out in the public. She stopped to admire the one of herself and Keegan.
The photo caught her full front and Keegan's side profile as the dark haired woman placed a kiss on her ear. It was from Provincetown. Just like the photo that appeared in the tabloid magazines. She picked up the frame tracing her fingers over Keegan's face. The woman had to have hundreds of photos of them together in many different settings. Why was it that only a small number made it to the press? She had hired an agency to investigate the photos in Look, for the story they ran. According to Connie, the photos were not a big deal and Gwen should take advantage of the publicity. Gwen wanted to know who gave Look the information. Someone was profiting from selling the pictures to the tabloids. Up until Saturday, she really thought it had been Keegan. She and Connie had a different opinion on many things as Gwen's career rose. Gwen's childhood was marred by her mother's relationships with men. Some stuck around for a year or two. Most were there for short stints. Either Connie tired of them or their money ran out. Through the years, Gwen was lucky she could stay with Aunt Molly and Uncle Christopher. The elderly couple had no children of their own and Christopher doted on Gwen. He taught her how to ride a bike and introduced her to the game of soccer. By the time she reached the sixth grade, she was being recruited by every traveling team in northern California to play. Christopher was at all of her games. The same could not be said for Connie. She showed an interest in their daughter's "hobby" until Gwen led her high school team to the state finals her sophomore year. During her junior year, the national team invited her to compete at the international level. All the achievement she had on the field led to a full ride scholarship with Northern California University. She had offers to go to schools in Texas, Florida and on the east coast, but she wanted to stay close to Molly and Christopher. By the time she graduated from NCU, Christopher no longer drove and Molly's health had declined. Molly died after they won the silver medal in Australia. Christopher passed away late last year. She still wished she could talk to the brown eyed soulful man. He gave her advice on everything from money to women. He even told her to "get that little girl back." He referred to Keegan. He was right. She should have.
Shaking the negative thoughts of her mother from her mind, she turned towards Keegan's bedroom. She didn't know how things were going to play out between them. Looking at the clock on the mantel she needed to call Bobby. Picking up the hand set as she walked back to the bedroom, she made a quick call to her friend. Stopping at the doorway for a moment, she looked at the small vulnerable pregnant figure sleeping in the bed. Silently she asked Christopher for guidance. She really needed to understand what she feeling towards Keegan.
Chapter 8
Rays of sunlight cascaded through the curtains shining brightly on the figure lying beneath the bed covers. Keegan welcomed the warmth of sun spreading over her body. She felt renewed. A good night's sleep was exactly what she needed. Slowly she lifted her eyelids to adjust to the brightness. Small dust particles floated in through the air, visible from the light reflecting off them. She silently wondered how she got home and into bed. Yesterday was a giant blur or a dream. Gwen! She had she actually seen Gwen, physically touched her? Had her former girlfriend really been in the kitchen at Ashley's yesterday? Her mind still fuzzy with remnants of dreams and details, she wasn't sure of anything. She had experienced too many previous conversations with the blonde that in actuality were dreams. During treatments, her dreams seemed so real that she wondered about the reality.
Yesterday was no different. In the past she questioned if Gwen could really hear her or if she had actually been there. She had a history of running a high fever and imagining the blonde at her side. With the palms of her hands she rubbed the remnants of sleep from her eyes. Moving into a sitting position, she let a gasp out, startled by the figure asleep in a chair close to the bed. Silhouetted by sunshine, golden light bounced off Gwen's hair, surrounding her with a halo. Once again, Keegan questioned if she was dreaming.
Drawing her knees to her chest she continued to ponder the events of the last forty eight hours. She remembered Ashley and Danny dropping Andy off before the banquet. Ash did her usual teasing about Gwen. Since Finch's trade to the Motors Ashley brought Gwen up more often. Danny scolded her about it on more than one occasion. Saturday afternoon, she and Andy spent the day putting together puzzles, playing games and coloring. Dinner was grilled cheese and tomato soup. Andy was extremely fond of his aunt's trick of floating Fritos on the top of the soup before eating them. As Keegan, explained the tradition was something his mother and aunts did as kids. Andy was happy to keep the family tradition going.
A quick bath after dinner, they both got into their jammies and settled in the den to watch a movie. Keegan lit a fire and turned off the lights with the exception of the hallway bathroom. Andy snuggled up close to his aunt for warmth as the Clown fish adventure began. It never failed Andy was scared in all the same places, still waiting for Bruce, the shark to catch Dory or Marlon. Giggling endlessly as he said the word "dude" over and over as Crush and his fellow turtles made their way along the current. They fell sound asleep on the large sectional couch before the movie ended. Keegan woke to find a very hot little boy kicking her in the side and thigh. Asleep with his thumb in his mouth, she tried to wake the three year old up and direct him towards the bathroom. She debated for a moment whether or not to pick him up. It seemed as if he was getting bigger and bigger by the day. Waking him just enough to put one foot in front of the other. She really didn't want to have to carry him. Once she got him settled in his bed, Keegan retreated to her own room and curled up between the cool cotton sheets. The red digits on the clock pointed out it that it was barely nine o'clock on a Saturday night, she was wiped out.
Sleep escaped her as her mind whirled in thoughts of the banquet. She wondered if Ash would see Gwen. She doubted Gwen wouldn't recognize her sister. Jason didn't allow Ashley to have much of a relationship with her family. There was a bit of a strained relationship and it seemed as if Ash didn't care about the distance. Keegan came to understand the hell Ashley went through. Her husband controlled her every move and would not allow Ash to be with her family. Ashley wasn't allowed to socialize with her "dyke sister" as Jason liked to refer to Keegan.
On Sunday morning she knew she wasn't feeling well. Her morning started with a routine rush to the toilet as a wave of morning sickness took over, followed by a nasty headache. It didn't help that Andy banged his spoon on the table, adding to the pounding. The whining three year old finally got dressed and they made their way to Ashley's. Sunday was not a peach of a day. She was greeted by the large photo in the morning paper of Gwen in Bob's arms. She argued with Andy about getting his things together and into the car. She recalled driving to Ashley's. Like flashes from a movie, the events came back to her. There were bits and pieces of conversations that took place at Ashley's she tried to remember. Seeing Gwen less than five feet from her sister, it was obvious that Ashley had connected with her ex-girlfriend. Gwen stood in the kitchen talking to her and touching her. Gwen invited her to dinner so they could reconnect or something of that nature. Keegan turned her down. She remembered Gwen leaving Ash's house when she asked her to. After Gwen left, Keegan went to lie down. Danny led her to the spare bedroom. Waking up in her bedroom with Gwen sleeping in a chair, something definitely had happened but she couldn't recall.
Slipping quietly from her bed, Keegan gathered some clothing and went into the bathroom. Tony was stopping by for breakfast and to take her to an appointment for a sonogram. After a shower and cleaning up Andy's toys from the hall bathroom, Kee dressed in a heavy pair of khaki pants and a heather gray cardigan with a white tee-shirt under it. Hearing a car pull up in the drive, she went to the mudroom and pressed the button to lift the garage door. A beat up yellow rusted Volvo pulled in to the garage next to the unfamiliar green SUV. Silently, she wondered where her Jeep was.
"I heard you were a bad patient." Tony said through the thick golden brown beard covered his face. Growing a beard between Christmas and Easter had become a tradition he liked to do each school year. Reminding him of John the Baptist, he told his students. Keegan knew the real reason was because he didn't want to shave when it was cold outside. "I see you still have company." His smile brightened and his eyes danced between Keegan and the truck. "Did you get lucky?"
"Ha!" Keegan couldn't stop the response. The laugh was out before she knew it. If she did get lucky, she didn't remember. When Gwen touched her, she usually remembered. "Get in here and make me breakfast. You owe me that!" And he did. She cooked dinner for Tony's department chairman and his wife a few weeks ago. Having Keegan on his arm at Weston seemed to open more doors for the young English professor. His tenure at the university secure, he still maintained a great relationship with his department head. His latest published work on American families as depicted in twentieth Century literature was a success.
Tony followed her into the kitchen after shedding his coat and boots in the mudroom. He looked at the empty coffee pot and groaned. A frown appeared under his whiskers as he reached for the pot to fill it with water. His regular ensemble of thick corduroy sports coat over a solid dark colored t-shirt complete with a leather belt and faded well worn blue jeans oozed earthy tree hugger personal.
"I don't drink coffee. Seattle boy! Tea, nice, warm, soothing, tea. There is hot water on the stove if you want to make a cup." The growl under his breath was a definite no.
"Don't even go there." He held up his hand knowing the distaste he had for the king's brew. He was a Seattle man, the world capital of coffee and grunge rock. No rock star would be caught drinking hot tea. "It's probably green too." The sandy hair of his beard was a shade lighter than the top of his head and made him look older than thirty five. "Am I making breakfast for three?"
"Sure." Keegan wondered about her visitor and for the tenth time tried to recall the events of yesterday. She supposed she could call Danny since the red head would tell her more than she needed to know. "What bird called you this morning?"
"Danny." He pulled the waffle mix from the top cupboard where he placed it on purpose so Keegan would never have waffles without him. He didn't know about the small step stool in the pantry. "Ashley said that you were probably still pissed off at her." He went about the kitchen making the waffles and filling her in on some of the blanks she had. When he came to the part about Dr. Micah, she felt the heat rise to her face.
"Oh!" She was angry at Ash. "She's right. I'm pissed."
Tony tested the heat of the waffle iron with his finger, pulling it away quickly from the heat. He turned and found a pondering Keegan next to him. Wrapping his arms around her waist and looping his arm over her growing midsection, he rubbed his whiskers against the sensitive skin of her cheek. "So, no action last night? You're slipping." Keegan giggle and tried to break free of his embrace.
From her position in the doorway, the sight in front of her made Gwen's heart plummet. Keegan was looking quite comfortable wrapped in this man's embrace as he tickled her and whispered something sensitive in her ear. Without even asking, she knew he was the father and it disappointed her. Keegan had moved on. She was in a relationship with this man. Having a child together was much more than she and Bobby had. See could see Keegan smiled with genuine affection for this man. Her face shone with happiness.
Squeezing away from Tony's arm, Keegan ran right smack dab into Gwen. Caught off guard by Gwen's sudden appearance, Keegan screamed and than started to laugh. "You scared me." Placing a hand over her heart, she could feel the organ thumping hard under her fingers. "Good morning." Keegan said quietly as soon as she was able to decipher the look on Gwen's face. "We didn't wake you up did we?"
"No." Gwen lied. She woke as soon as she heard a man's voice in the house. Alone in Keegan's room, she felt the cold sheets and knew her host had been up for awhile. Still trying to adjust to the time change, she quietly got washed up and changed into a rich mocha cable sweater, a pair of black jeans that hugged her body like a glove, and a pair of black leather boots, grateful for the fact she remembered to grab her bag from the car last night after she put Keegan to bed. When she heard Keegan laughing in the kitchen, she thought back to times they had lived together and she woken to the laugher. As the laughter continued, she went to investigate. Kee had a great laugh which was very contagious.
"Are you feeling better?" Gwen was about to reach for Keegan's forehead than decided against it.
"I'm good. I finally got a decent night sleep. To be honest with you, I don't remember a lot about yesterday." Keegan moved past her to the sideboard and pulled down a ceramic mug. "I've got hot water, or Tony's making coffee." Keegan lifted her mug a little higher.
Tony… this was Tony. She remembered Danny mentioning the name on Saturday. "Tea, thanks." Gwen tried to find a spot in the kitchen where she was out of the way.
"I'm not even sure how I got home, but I can put two and two together. And that's not my car in the garage." Sensing Gwen's uneasiness, Keegan glanced towards Tony who was mouthing words to her. "What?"
"Introduce us you knucklehead." Tony finally said turning to greet the infamous ex-girlfriend who had rattled Keegan for the past month. He wiped his hands on the hand towel hanging from the stove door and moved closer to the two women.
"Oh…I'm sorry. Tony this is Gwen. Gwen, Tony." Tony smiled brightly as he reached to shake the woman's hand. His brown eyes took in the figure in front of him.
"You're the soccer player." He didn't realize that when Danny was talking about Gwen, that it was actually Gwen Lerner, America's Sweetheart, her picture had been all over the news with the trade of her boyfriend to the Motors. "Wow, I didn't know you guys knew each other." His brown eyes were gazing into eyes the same shade as his own. It hit him. Keegan said that he reminded her of someone special. Someone she lost and wanted to remember her coloring, the shape of her face, the color of her eyes and hair. This is the one Keegan lost. The one he reminded Keegan of. "Great to meet you. My parents love you. Big fans. I never saw them support any sport as much as women's soccer after you hit that goal in Greece."
"Keegan was on that team." Gwen said casually. "We met while playing on the National Team. How did you meet?"
"I didn't realize that. We met during PT. I screwed up my hand playing in-line hockey over at the university. After four months of following her direction, and being told what I was doing wrong, I asked her out."
"Oh." Gwen waited for him to continue his story. He seemed nice and familiar. His face and voice was soothing almost melodic.
"She told me I didn't have a chance in hell. And still don't."
"Oh really, what's wrong with you?" Gwen asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. This was not what she expected this morning. If Keegan did have a boyfriend, she really didn't expect to like him.
"Wrong kind of equipment." Tony bluntly told her. "I'm not her type. So fill in some gaps. I didn't know Keegan played in the Olympics."
"I didn't." Keegan defended herself. She had been very vague about her soccer career. Her eyes met Gwen's and her heart lurched. God, how could being in the same room with this woman bring back all these thoughts and feelings? "It's in the past. There is no point dwelling on the past."
"Sometimes we should question the past and it's good to talk about it." Gwen slid her hand from Tony's grip and thought it odd that an English professor had rough calloused hands.
"Sometimes we know what happened in the past and would rather not bring it up." Keegan countered as she handed the warm mug to Gwen. The challenge in her bright blue eyes was evident. With close regard, she watched the play of emotions dance across Gwen's face. She had seen her self-assurance falter on more than one occasion and it usually had something to do with Connie. "I'm sorry." Keegan raised her eyes to Gwen's swimming brown ones. She knew Gwen's past was a montage of unanswered questions. "If you don't have plans today, I'd like for you to meet someone. And I don't mean this big lug." Keegan smiled when Gwen accepted with a nod. "Maybe we can do lunch instead of dinner, if the offer still stands?"
"It does. I'm open today. I've got dinner plans later but I'd rather spend time with you." Gwen accepted the cup of tea. Their fingers lightly brushed and both locked eyes with the other. "I really think we need to talk."
"Sit down, so I can repay my debt." Tony raised the platter of waffles high in the air over the two women. Keegan pushed Gwen towards the kitchen table to sit.
"Gwen, whatever he says don't believe it." Keegan said as she pulled a waffle from the bottom of the pile. Gwen did the same thing. Tony watched the interaction as if these two women were reading each others mind.
"Miss Garry you are ruining my reputation." Tony scoffed.
"It's already ruined Mr. Best." A coughing Gwen caught them off guard. She held her hands in the air as Tony lightly patted her on the back. Taking a small sip of her tea she looked at the tall lanky man standing next to her.
"You're Tony Best the drummer for the MudMen."
"Someone has good taste in music."
"That's because you're both old." Keegan shot. When she had treated Tony, she had no idea who the MudMen were. Maurice had to fill her in about the band and Tony. When curiosity got the best of her, she looked up the band on the internet. A successful Seattle grunge band had a few top 100 hits. Tony still played his music but it was limited to an acoustic guitar and usually at an open mic night at the Badlands. A few local musicians were trying to get him to join their bands but he didn't want to be in a band.
"Hey! He's not that old." Gwen gave Keegan a look. "I'm only a few years older than you."
"Yeah, well you'll always have a few years on me." Keegan smiled as she put her fork into the waffle. She knew being younger than Gwen was a great way to tease her. Tony brought his coffee and a fresh stack of waffles to the table. As he sat down across from Keegan, he smiled and winked at her.
"How long you in town for Ms. Lerner?" He knew that would get a rise out of the blonde.
"Okay, stop with the formalities. I hate when someone calls me that, especially after they have cooked for me." Wiping her mouth with her napkin. "Thursday, then I head back to San Jose."
"You lived in San Jose." Tony pointed his fork at Keegan.
"Yes I did. Now stop it." She shyly glanced at Gwen. They lived in San Jose together. "Still in the same house?" She tried to sound nonchalant, but curiosity was getting the best of her. Did she live with Bob in the house or someone else?
"Yeah, your alarm code is still active." Gwen watched as her confession registered with the dark haired woman at the head of the table.
"Good to know if I want to clean you out." Keegan tried to lighten the atmosphere that seemed to get heavier by the minute.
"I think you've already taken my most valued possession." Gwen muttered under her breath. "My heart." Gwen thought she was silent.
"What was that?" Tony asked. He had heard the blonde's whisper but wanted to make sure he had heard her correctly.
"Nothing. Not sure if Keegan gave you the run down on my family, but let's just say if I pressed charges, my mother would be doing some serious time." Gwen's mouth turned upward for a moment as if she were joking.
"Connie still up to her tricks?" The thought of Gwen keeping the same alarm code, warmed her heart. Maybe one day.
"Oh, she's pulled out a whole new bag since you've…." Gwen stopped talking. Her mother was never her favorite subject. Realizing Keegan would never understand the new bag of manipulation her mother pulled out after they were separated. "Seen her." Gwen was proud of her cover.
"Hey look at the time, we need to get going or we'll be late." Tony said shoving an entire waffle in his mouth. "Pluuus I've go..t aaa 'ass."
"Ewww!"
"Nice!" The reactions of the women echoed their distaste for the open mouth chewing going on at the table. "And you teach the next generation."
"Whhhh...aaaa…ttt?" Tony continued to chew.
"Can you take me to get my car after?" Keegan directed her question to Tony.
"How about if you don't mind…we grab lunch and I'll take you to get your car?" The shocked blue eyes turned to stare at her. "Tony has a class." Gwen gave a reasonable explanation. "Didn't you hear him?"
Still chewing, Tony nodded his head. A stab of fear ran through Keegan as she thought of Tony's DNA merging with hers. What exactly was she thinking when she asked him to father her child? Gwen.. Sitting side by side, the resemblance was unnerving. That was exactly what she was thinking about when she asked Tony.
Tony drove the Volvo out of the drive and waited for Gwen to pull on to the street. When the SUV pulled up behind him he gave the driver a wave. His passenger drummed her fingers on the arm rest.
"Gwen Lerner is your ex-girlfriend? I didn't think she was gay. God there are so many men that are going to be totally bummed out."
"She's dating a man, a very manly pro athlete." Keegan reminded him.
"There were always rumors." He continued on ignoring her comments. "And that photo spread in paper." He pulled on to the main road and head towards Weston Hospital. He waited for a moment. "Fuck me! It was you. You're in the photo." Tony turned a flashing smile to his passenger. When Keegan ignored him, he quietly stated. "She's the one isn't she?"
"What?" Keegan came to her senses. Realizing Tony wasn't teasing her any more, but questioning her about something serious.
"It's a little uncanny the resemblance. It's like looking in the mirror at a female version of me. I never noticed it until meeting her."
"She's the one. I haven't seen her in person in a few years, but you do look alike. In a way if she grows a beard, I could really see it."
"Ha! Ha! I don't think it would do her justice."
"No it wouldn't." Her voice was flat like her mood. What am I doing? She sat at the table inviting Gwen to come to her sonogram appointment. For what? She hadn't seen nor heard from the woman in almost six years. When she did hear about her it was usually in a negative way. She knew nothing about her any more. Yet, she spent last night making sure Keegan got what she wanted and was taken care of. She never asked for anything in return. This morning in the kitchen, there wasn't the tension that she felt at Danny's house. It was them reconnecting. Reconnecting? Is that what they were doing? In the years they were together, it took a long time for Gwen to open up and to trust Keegan. With how her mother treated Gwen over the years, Keegan knew why those fears were very real.
"You're freaking out aren't you?" Tony glanced at his passenger as they waited at a red light. When Keegan answered with a nod, he put the car in park and wrapped her in a hug. "Things will work out Kee. They always do. We might not think it at the time, but they do."
#
"Okay this is going to be a little cold." The sonogram technician said as she squeezed the clear petroleum substance on the swell of Keegan's abdominal area.
"Jesus." The jelly substance was freezing and instantly Keegan hissed out as it hit her skin. "I'm going to have to pee soon." She squirmed on the exam table.
"Cold?" Tony chuckled as Keegan nodded her head. She glanced to her right where Gwen stood at her shoulder. Her brown eyes open wide in excitement as the wand was placed in the coated area. "Have you ever seen this before?" Tony asked Gwen.
"Only on the Discovery Channel." Gwen's hand covered Keegan's shoulder as the technician began to get locate the fetus and get her bearings. When she left Keegan's house this morning she had no idea who she was about to meet. Granted she had met millions of people over the years, but this was definitely someone she would remember for the rest of her life. "Thank you for asking me." Gwen bent down and whispered in Keegan ear. She could feel the heat under her hand and from the closest to the expecting mother.
"You're welcome." Keegan answered softly. The technician looked at the group in the room but could not figure the relationship between the threesome. The woman on the table was definitely the mother. The man seemed to be the father and the person standing behind the patient could be hid sibling. When she walked into the small exam room, she was really surprised to see the celebrity sports figure there. A huge fan of the Motors, she knew the woman at the head of the bed was Bob Finch's girlfriend. She smiled sweetly at her and wondered what it was like to be with a hockey star.
"Let's take a look." The tech commented as she began to move the wand like piece of equipment over Keegan protruding belly. Her hazel eyes drifted from the abdomen to the grainy monitor picture on the left side of the bed. "If you look here." Her index finger pointed on the screen. "The ultra scan produces a two dimensional image." The picture was blurry and appeared to be nothing. "At this stage, you can see the fetus." She stopped and realigned the monitor. "Here is a profile of the head." With that, three sets of eyes focus on the dark outline of a small human skull. "The eye socket."
"Wow…" Gwen leaned closer to Keegan her hand squeezed lightly on her shoulder as she watched the grainy image clear into the perfect profile of a little baby. "Look, there's a hand and fingers."
"You're about sixteen weeks?"
"Seventeen." Keegan corrected the technician. Seeing her child on the monitor was overwhelming. Its fingers sticking in the air spread out like Gwen did when she was nervous. Tony's eyes were riveted on the screen as the shape continued to clear. He glanced back at Keegan wearing a toothy smile.
"This is who I wanted you to meet." Keegan told Gwen as she covered the hand squeezing her shoulder. "Isn't she beautiful?"
"Yes." Gwen moved closer to whisper in her ear. "Do you know the sex?"
"Only what I feel in my heart." Keegan thought back to the dream she had of the little girl flying the kite. "A little girl came to me in a dream when I was sick." Keegan could feel the stinging of salt in her eyes. The memories she had during the illness were hard for her to discuss. There were too many times, when she thought she'd never see this day. She covered her melancholy feeling with a half smile. She didn't want to rehash bad memories.
The image on the monitor moved as the baby began to move. "Looks like it's swimming." Tony cried out as he jumped closer to the screen. "A little alien with those big giant eyes." The full front image of the fetus turned to them at that time.
"Tony!" Keegan yelled at him and bumped him with her foot. "Don't say that. I think you are getting scolded already."
"Definitely female." He sighed as the three women in the room laughed.
"We can look to see what sex the baby is if you want?" The woman asked Keegan who shook her head. She would find out soon enough. Bill desperately wanted another grandson. Probably all those years surrounded by females. Sarah was like Keegan, she didn't care as long as it was healthy. "Would you like some new photos for the family?" The technician asked.
"Absolutely. My mother would never forgive me if I passed up a photo opportunity." Keegan laughed thinking of Sarah's reaction to the new photo of the baby. As the technician took still photos of the baby, the dark room glowed from the light of the monitor.
"This is so amazing." Gwen voice filled the room like a quiet lullaby. Her heart thudded against her chest when Keegan leaned into her a bit. Seeing the image on the screen was like nothing she had ever experienced before. "Thank you again. It's amazing."
"Doctor Micah will have the films in a day or two and she can go over the results with you in a little more detail." The technician turned to Gwen when she heard the sharp gasp that escaped the celebrity at the mention of Dr. Micah's name.
"I'm still with Dr. Micah office, but I am seeing Dr. Simpson." Keegan corrected the tech.
"Dr. Dev? I'll make a note on the order to have them sent to her." The tech let the wand slip and hit a sensitive spot on Keegan's stomach. Keegan quickly pulled away causing the screen to bounce around. Re-positing herself of the table, she looked at the technician. With a desperate look on her face, Keegan tried to get off the exam table.
"If I don't find a bathroom, we are all in for a treat." The brunette scrambled off the table and made a bee line to the small bathroom.
Chapter 9
Tony rushed off to his afternoon class leaving Keegan and Gwen on their own for lunch at McKenna's, a family owned restaurant just off the hospital campus. The restaurant was a favorite of the hospital staff and visitors. Keegan ate lunch there at least once a week. Riding in Gwen's rental, Keegan directed her to the restaurant. The place was in full swing trying to pacify the lunch crowd. They waited quietly as busy bus boys and the wait staff made their way through the throngs of customers and a maze of tables. Finally a college-aged hostess called Keegan's name and smiled warmly at them as she led them to a booth towards the back.
"Working today?" Knowing Keegan as a regular customer, the girl chatted as she led them across the dinning room to a booth in the corner.
"Doctor's appointment." Keegan explained as she unwound her scarf from around her neck and tried to shrug off her coat. Gwen immediately stepped up behind her and sliding the coat from Keegan shoulders as her hands ran along her shoulders and down her back removing the covering.
"Thanks." Keegan's weak breathless answer sent shivers down Gwen's spine. Taking the coat and hanging on the hook at the edge of the booth, Gwen removed her own and placed it on top. Keegan's frame slid uncomfortably across the faux leather seat. She was grumbling to herself about being the size of a truck. Her belly brushed against the side of the table.
The hostess did a double take as Gwen slid into the booth opposite Keegan. "Is that Gwen Lerner?" The employee quietly asked Keegan. When she didn't receive an answer, the hostess set down the menus and walked away. She wanted to have a quiet lunch with Gwen.
"So what is good here?" Gwen asked as her eyes lifted from the menu to the woman who sat down across from. Her gaze focused on her former lover. She waited until Keegan's eyes met hers before turning her attention back to the menu.
"Everything...I'm starved." Her stomach rumbled loudly for anyone in ear shot to hear. "How can that be? I just ate before the appointment and now I feel like I can eat an entire pizza by myself." The chuckle from across the table was the only answer she received. "I know, don't say it. I'm eating for two. The baby needs its strength."
"I didn't say a thing." Gwen thought about the Philly Cheese Steak with a side salad. She'd have to hit the gym soon if she did get it. "You work at the hospital?"
"For a couple of years, I'm a physical therapist."
"I remember. Do you have to work today?" Gwen knew her answer came out a little harsh. She knew what Keegan had gone to school for. The first year they dated, it had been a long distance relationship so Keegan could finish her degree.
"Not today. I try to work ten hour shifts, that way I have three days off. I work usually every other weekend. This upcoming weekend I'm working."
"Well, if things work out with SNN, I will probably be working weekends, too. Not many sporting events happening during the week." Keegan fell quiet as she looked at the menu. Stealing glances at her companion, she wondered who Gwen had plans with later this evening. Probably Bob or someone from SNN. She silently cursed herself for still finding Gwen attractive. There was definitely chemistry between them. There always had been. When she looked at Gwen again, a huge grin was plastered across the Californian's face. "What are you grinning about?"
"Your baby is so little."
"Not so little when the bugger is sitting on my bladder."
"Thank you for this morning. It was amazing." Her smile widen as she thought about the small fists the baby clenched at its side just watching the profile come into place on the monitor. "Do you have a preference of a boy or girl?"
"No, it doesn't matter. I just want a healthy baby." The baby kicked her side. "Ouch." Keegan rubbed the side of her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was because she was physically fit or if it was great genetics, but she still had her figure as her stomach continued to grow. From behind she barely looked pregnant. "Bill is going crazy. He wants another grandson bad. I think it was all the women he was subjected to." Her father had been the only male in the house for such a long time until Ashley's disaster of a marriage to Jason, the asshole who made her sister's life hell. When Ash finally decided to leave the jerk, everyone supported her decision.
Gwen fell quiet as she looked at the menu, stealing shy glances at her companion. Now that they were at lunch what was her plan? Hey sorry you were sick and I decided to drown my misery by having meaningless sex. I just wanted to get back at you for hurting me. By the way, I still love you and I want to get back together. Is this what she wanted? To get back together with Keegan, to have the life they used to have together. The attraction was definitely still there. Had Keegan changed so much or was it Gwen? Keegan hadn't changed, she stayed the same. She still maintained her sexuality, she lived in her parent's house, she worked at the university she went to school at, her family was still in close contact with. Maybe she was a bit more cautious with how she approached life, or who she let into hers. Whose life she was part of. The Keegan she knew years earlier would talk to everyone. Keegan was the life of the party, funny, quick with her laugh and never beating around the bush. This Keegan's demeanor was as if she was walking on egg shells with other people, especially Gwen. She had let her defenses down a of couple times, this morning in the kitchen with Tony, and at the appointment. She still had the fiery temper which came out last night in the battle of wills with Dr. Micah.
The murmur of the lunch crowd got louder and Keegan was certain she heard whispers of Gwen's name passing over the patrons' lips. She took in the occupants of the restaurant. When they spoke to each other leaning across the table or into one another, their focus would shift to the blonde sitting with her.
"What's wrong?" Gwen asked ignoring the noise and stares.
"Is this always like this for you?" Keegan asked as she took in the attention her companion was receiving.
"No this is pretty quiet. You should see it when Bobby is with me." Gwen watched the scowl appear on Keegan's face at the mention of Bobby. She needed to have her understand the relationship and soon. "I want you to meet him." Gwen voice sounded desperate when she saw Keegan withdrawing.
"That would be nice, but I have to work the next couple of days. I doubt he would have time before you leave." Keegan smiled as she unfolded her napkin and placed in on her lap. The last thing she wanted to do was meet the man who converted Gwen to the hetro lifestyle. Plus, anywhere the two of them were the spotlight was bound to be bright. Gwen chose to live her life in the spot light. If she showed up without the hockey player, the news would print trouble in paradise.
A young college aged man came up to the table and introduced himself. "Good afternoon ladies, I'm Zack." He faltered for a moment when he actually looked at Gwen. Here was the woman he had dreamed about nightly during his senior year in high school. The poster of her wrapped only in an American flag was hung on the back of his bedroom door. The first sight he saw in the morning and the last thing he saw at night. Her body was sculpted with defined lines in her abdominal muscles, but still held the feminine as she held the ends of the flag across her breasts. Wondering exactly how the photographer got the material to stay in place without revealing too much. There was a vixen like quality to the poster as she stood with her feet spread far apart in red stiletto heels. The flag draped like a toga over one shoulder and wound around the soccer star's body. Ending as the edge hung just low enough to cover the apex between her thighs. "Your server.." He cleared his throat. "Would you like to hear the specials?"
"I'm ready." Keegan said as she took in the flushed face of the young man at the table side. His pen bounced nervously as it was posed over the pad of paper. He nodded. "Tuna salad plate with whole wheat toast on the side and a glass of milk."
"I thought you hated milk?" Gwen questioned knowing full well that Keegan was not a happy camper when the National Team was asked to do a "Got Milk" commercial.
"I do but what can I say some times you have to adjust." Keegan shrugged her shoulders as she handed the menu back to the pimply faced server.
"Miss?" He directed his question to Gwen.
"Well what would you suggest, Zack?" Gwen's voice dropped into the sexy tone she used when she wanted something. Should she play with him? Gwen knew the look he was giving her. She would bet the kid had a poster of her in his room. He was practically drooling as he fidgeted.
Keegan watched the guy's face flush the color of a fire engine. When he began to stumble over his words and shifted from foot to foot. Gwen let him off the hook. "I'll take the same but hold the milk and add a hot tea."
"That wasn't nice." Keegan said after the server left the table. Gwen smiled and winked at her. "Why, did you do that?"
"Please, that first look said it all. He was one of those horn dogs who are looking for nude photos of me on the internet. He is the reason I don't have privacy."
"Maybe it's your publicist's fault." Keegan commented quietly. She had seen Gwen's photo plastered across the media. Everywhere she turned after the Olympics, a picture of Gwen haunted her. To top it all off with a great big cherry was the America's Sweetheart poster of Gwen clad in the stars and stripes. The poster was almost as popular as the Farah Fawcett red swimsuit shot.
"Well, I see yesterday's little reunion has spilled over into today." Standing next to the table was Dr. Micah. Gwen clenched her jaw. She meant to ask Keegan if she was dating the doctor, but to bring it up in the exam room was not the best idea. The broad shouldered pixie cut blonde rubbed Gwen the wrong way. Granted she didn't know the doctor, but she didn't want to either. If this was who Keegan choose to see, maybe she could learn to live with it.
"Hello Carrie." Keegan gave no indication of whether or not the doctor's presence was welcome. "How are you this afternoon?"
"You know after last night's meeting, I did a little research on Miss Lerner's background." This small intrusion on Gwen's life made her raise an eyebrow towards the doctor. "I found some interesting reading and photos." The doctor stared back with her flat gray eyes as dull as a winter sky. "I'm sure a few people would be interested in the insight I found."
"Carrie, I played soccer with Gwen a lifetime ago. We haven't seen each other in a very long time and I asked her to lunch." When the doctor's face remained stern, she added. "People do have to eat." Gwen tried to stifle the laugh that slipped out. Keegan shot her a warning.
"How are you feeling?" Carrie squatted next to Keegan and placed a thick paw on her thigh. Gwen actually felt a surge of anger towards the doctor and tried to contain it.
"I'm fine. Thank you for your concern and for last night. Ashley and I disagree on the necessity of your visit. It was good to know I can count on you. My sister was put at ease." Keegan continued to pacify the woman at her side. The pressure of the doctor's hand on her thigh was becoming very uncomfortable. The appearance of Gwen at her sister's house seemed to spur the doctor into a new mode of courting.
"You know I wanted to make sure you're okay. Even if it seemed that I was being a little precautious." Keegan politely removed Carrie's hand from her thigh as she nodded to the doctor. Carrie looked at her with what was her attempt at puppy dog eyes trying to win some type of prize from her. "Glad to know you're feeling better." Carrie stood to her full five foot seven height. Turning to the threat in Keegan's life she asked. "How long are you in town for?"
Gwen was caught off guard by the doctor addressing her. She didn't expect the woman to make small talk with her. "Thursday."
"Good. I'm sure Mr. Finch appreciates you coming to support his career, always a sign of a good relationship. The support couples give one another, especially during the tough times." Carrie's underlying meaning was caught. Keegan could see the deep furrow form on Gwen's forehead. Carrie was referring to Gwen leaving Keegan to battle through the leukemia alone, gloating on the Olympian absence during Keegan's illness.
When Carrie finally moved aside, "Keegan, I'll let you to your lunch. Stop by soon. Ms. Lerner, always good to see an old friend of Keegan's tell Bob good luck for Wednesday's game. The Motors could really use a win. Maybe you should try to motivate him." Carrie's voice was loud enough so the entire dinning room heard the reference to the hockey game. Keegan cringed as people's heads swung towards their table. If they weren't sure if it was Gwen before, they were now. "Enjoy your lunch." Carrie winked at Gwen before turning to leave.
"You're dating that woman?" Gwen hissed through gritted teeth.
"I told you yesterday it's none of your business who I am seeing." Keegan stopped speaking when Zack came back to the table with their order. A nod to the discombobulated server sent him on his way. "Besides what does it matter to you? You moved on pretty damn quick if I remember correctly."
"You broke up with me." There was a growl as Gwen responded. Her anger at the doctor was now vibrating in her words. Brown eyes clashed across the table with blue.
"And it took you what a week to find someone to replace me? Fuck." A family in the center of the dinning room close to the couple's booth heard the curse. "Sorry." The pregnant woman apologized for the vulgarity. Keegan took a bite of her tuna but her appetite totally gone. Her stomach and heart hurt. She should have never let Gwen close. Seeing the blonde again brought up too many bad memories and too much pain.
"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Gwen quietly folded her hands on top of the table. She took out her anger and jealousy of the doctor out on Keegan and she didn't deserve it. The question haunted her since the night of the banquet when Ashley told the story of her sister being ill.
Keegan looked at her former girlfriend. Taking a few moments to formulate the answer to the question she had not looked forward to answering. Her plan was to never have to answer the question if she could help it. Now she was forced to tell the one person who deserved to know what really happened.
"Excuse me Ms. Lerner." A small girl appeared at the side of the table. "Hi! My name is Ann Marie Baker and I," The young girl faltered and looked to her mother and grandmother for encouragement. "I play soccer too and I wanted to tell that I think you're a great player. Can you?" The small brunette held out a pen and piece of paper for Gwen to autograph. Gwen smiled at Keegan and shrugged her shoulders. As soon as Gwen reached for the pen, the flood gates opened and the table was surrounded by adoring fans.
Feeling trapped, Keegan slipped from the table and escaped to the bathroom. She looked back and saw the large crowd closing in on the space she had once occupied. When she walked past the hostess stand she stopped the young woman, who sat them.
"Can you call me a cab?" The young lady nodded and watched as the regular made her way to the restroom. The woman refused to acknowledge if her companion was Gwen Lerner, now the hostess knew why. The once semi-calm restaurant was now in the mist of chaos as patrons huddled towards the back booth where the celebrity sat. She understood completely why Keegan wanted a cab called.
Keegan stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She looked the same in a way. Her hair was longer and thicker. Her face took on more of an angular look than it had in her early twenties. Since the chemotherapy, she had gained and lost weight so much she forgot what a struggle her weight had been before the illness. Scrambling to get a pen and piece of paper from her purse, she quickly scribbled a note down. Fixing her hair with her fingers she finally gave up. Stepping into the waiting area of the restaurant she was greet with a buzz of excitement. If it was possible, the crowd had grown. She glanced at the hostess as a taxi pulled in front of the restaurant.
"Please give this to the woman I came in with." She handed the note to the young woman. Taking some money from her wallet she handed it to the now puzzled Zack as he tried to make his way out of the crowd.
"Do you want change?" He asked, hoping not because it meant a very large tip. A shake of her head and Keegan disappeared through the door and slipped into the waiting taxi.
The swarm of people surrounding Gwen was getting out of control and quickly. Keegan had gone to the restroom at least fifteen minutes ago and was now no where in sight. She had no idea where all these people had come from, but the crowd seemed to be growing. Catching the eye of the manager, she motioned for assistance.
"Folks, please let Miss Lerner have some breathing room." The fatherly figure of a man, appealed to the patrons' good nature. Soon the graying middle aged man led Gwen to a small office area out of the main dining room. Always one to think about the kids and how she wouldn't have gotten as far without the help of the fans, Gwen wished she had just signed the one and gotten to eat her lunch. Poor Keegan, she hoped she wasn't mobbed by the group. Just what she needed was to have a pregnant woman jostled by crazed fans.
Clearing the way, the manager offered her a small back room off the bar to reorganize. "Have you seen my friend?" Gwen was now nervously searching for Keegan.
"Miss Lerner, your friend gave me this to give to you." The hostess stepped forward handing Gwen the note. Christ… Gwen thought as she took the note. Quickly scanning the short sentences, she read.
Gwen,
I had a nice time reconnecting. Enjoy your visit. My regards to Bob.
Keegan
"Did you see where she went?" Gwen questioned the hostess.
"She asked for a cab and left in it. Sorry Miss Lerner."
"Shit!" Gwen ran a hand through her hair. She was not going to let Keegan out of her life again. She was feeling a little desperate to get to know the expecting mother.
#
Ashley watched the yellow taxi pull in front of the HHC office complex. She was surprised to see her sister get out of the back. Keegan, bundled against the March weather, paid the driver then hurried into the building against the harsh wind. Ashley noticed the downward turn of Keegan's face immediately. She knew it was not from the cold, but from something else. She had seen that look before. The look of disappointment and depression had been a constant companion of Keegan's during her illness. The kind of mood she got in when her life spun out of control. Ashley took a deep breath and wondered if her sister would ever learn. She couldn't control everyone or everything. She would have to let go. The more Keegan tried the more things slipped out of her grasp.
When Keegan walked into the doors of the office, her eyes were swimming with tears. Holding it together as best she could she let loose when Ashley's arms wrapped around her in a protective shield.
"Hush. It will be alright. Shssss." Ashley cooed in her ear and held her tight, letting Keegan settle for a moment. Getting her breathing to a normal level, Ashley led her to her office. Danny's office next door stood dark and unoccupied. Taking Keegan by the hand, she had her sit on the small wheat colored sofa against the wall. Bright hues of gold and red warmed the office. A few of Andy's original art works hung on the filing cabinet behind Ashley's shiny clean as a whistle desk. Empty except for the two silver Cross pens lying neatly across the desk set. A small oak conference table which could fit four to six people comfortably sat in the corner near a floor to ceiling matching bookshelf.
After making her older sister sit down, Ashley went to the large desk and picked up the hand set and dialed her secretary. "Linda, hold my calls." Ashley grabbed a couple bottles of water from the small mini frig behind the desk and came to sit next to Keegan.
"What happened?" Ashley began. She already knew it was Gwen. The blonde had a way of throwing her sister off her game since they had first met. When she talked with Gwen on Saturday, she thought the best thing for Keegan would be to let the blonde back into her life. Since the reunion on Sunday, Keegan not was as receptive as Ashley would have liked her to be. Shock was the emotion that rambled through her, Danny, and Dr. Micah when Keegan took Gwen up on the offer to take her home. When Gwen called the house to let her know she planning on staying the night, Ashley wasn't sure what to make of it or in what detail the over night stay entailed. Ashley didn't assume to know anything and she was sure her sister would never say.
"God I don't know. We went to my appointment. Oh.." Keegan started the story then switched gears so fast Ashley wasn't sure what happened. When Keegan handed her a shiny new black and white photo of the baby she smiled. "It was like there was no separation. We were us. Does that make sense?" Keegan could still feel the warmth of Gwen's hand in hers, the feel of her back against Gwen's front like they had been.
"Yes." Ashley knew she was walking a fine line. Her sister and Gwen's relationship was everything she ever wanted. Love, commitment, sharing, compromises, trust, or at least when there was trust.
"We went to lunch and everything just fell apart."
"Where did you go?"
"McKenna's." Keegan knew her sister was familiar with the restaurant near the hospital.
"Did Tony go with you?" Ashley knew she had to go slow with Keegan in order to get the whole story. Keegan shook her head. "Was it crowded?" A nod. "Did Gwen get recognized?"
"Yes, but she blew it off at first. There were so many people staring at us and talking about her. Plus Carrie showed up next to the table." Keegan wiped her sweaty palms on her khakis.
"Oh, that's bad." Ashley stood up and began to pace. "Did Gwen know Carrie was your doctor?"
"No, and again it's none of her business. Don't go there." Keegan put her hand up when Ashley open her mouth to argue. "I told Gwen it was none of her business who I'm seeing."
"Did Tony like her?" Ashley knew what Tony's impression of Gwen was. As soon as he got to the car, he called her screaming about Gwen and why didn't anyone tell him who Keegan's ex-girlfriend was.
"I think. She's a fan of the MudMen." Keegan put her hand on her stomach as it rolled a little. "I was teasing them about being old." Biting her lower lip she looked at her sister. "She's why I asked Tony to be the father. They are so similar. Their coloring, smile, and features. I told him he reminded me of someone special."
"Good to know. I never thought about it but you're right. They do look a lot a like." Ashley sat back down and opened her water bottle. "So what did Carrie say?"
"It was weird. She threatened Gwen in a way. I think something to effect of telling Bob about her taste for women or at least for me in particular. The one thing I'm grateful for is never listing the San Jose address as my home." When Gwen asked her to move in, they thought it best if everyone thought she still lived in Michigan. There was no record of the two years she lived in California. All of her personal information, mail and taxes went to her parents' house. Sarah would ship her important items. Her cell phone had the 313 area code. "Reporters would've jumped all over that."
"Do you think Carrie would do that to Gwen? Out her or at least try to out her? Did she say she's still gay?" Ashley paused. Keegan knew about Gwen hitting on Meg a few years ago. "That is so stupid, still gay? Can you even be still gay? Either you're gay or you're not. Gwen never struck me as the type of woman to go "straight." Do you understand what I am trying to say?"
"Again, it was like it was us…as a couple. We held hands." Keegan looked at her ring. "It was like she'd always been there."
"She has always been here." Ashley touched Keegan's heart. "You shut her out. She tried to get through to you but you didn't want her with you. You wanted her at the Olympics and she moved on." Ashley knew the risk her sister took. She and Tara tried to warn Keegan. Gwen's mother had abandoned her so much as a child as man after man came into her life, the blonde had deep fear of being alone or left. When Gwen put up walls to protect herself, there was no way to get through. "She did what she had to survive. Deep down you know that. Think about all the crap she went through with her mother. If Christopher and Molly weren't there I really think Gwen would be a messed up individual."
Keegan nodded. Her tears fell quietly. "I left her again." Her voice cracked as she realized the mistake she had made by leaving Gwen at the restaurant. "There was this little girl." Keegan took the tissue offered by Ash. "Thanks." She wiped her eyes and her nose. "The little girl came up to the table and started to say things about soccer and asked for an autograph. Before I knew it we were swamped and I had to get out. I went to the bathroom asked the hostess to call a cab and left. That's why I'm here."
"Did you tell her you were leaving?"
"I left a note with the hostess for her." Keegan wiped her nose again. "What do I do?"
"Keegan, I want you to think long and hard about this." Ashley placed a warm hand on her sister's knee. "You don't need to answer me but answer this for yourself." A nod confirmed she had her sister's attention. "What do you want? Do you still love her enough to put yourself out there again? Do you think you would be happy being a couple? And it's not going to be the same. She is a famous celebrity, who is on talk shows and magazine covers. That poster of her is slapped up in every mechanic's garage. She's America's Sweetheart." Ashley let her words digest. "You never told her you were sick, do you think she'll forgive you for that?"
"I tried one time." Keegan confessed. The sisters stared at each other for a few moments. Ashley wondered what their lives would be like if Gwen had known about the leukemia before the Olympics. What would have happened? Would Keegan and Gwen still be together? The rate of divorce was sky rocketing to the point where no one wanted to get married. Her relationship with Jason was just a mistake. Andy on the other hand was not. She loved her son with all her heart. His birth gave her sister a chance to continue her life.
"I will." Her blue eyes studied the artwork of her nephew. Soon, she would have her own little Picasso running around doing crayon master pieces. This morning at the appointment, everything seemed so right. Gwen at her side holding her hand as the small form of her child appeared on the screen. The expression of joy that covered Gwen's face as the baby held its hands tight in fists raising them high above its head. She had made a mistake and it cost her. She'd call Gwen tonight and see if the dinner invitation was still on the table.