This story takes place after a family affair. Third episode season four.

Cecily Pinkerton

As the sun filtered lazily through the cracks in the barn wall Xena came awake. She stretched and yawned. She brushed the excess straw out of her deep brown hair. As she looked to her left she saw a small blonde woman curled in a fetal position, with a blanket pulled over her head to block the coming day. Xena chuckled to herself. We may be perfect for each other but our body clocks will never come together. For Xena the morning was the best time of the day. She felt alert and energized. Gabrielle on the other hand felt that if it didn't happen before noon it wasn't worth bothering with. She rolled over behind Gabrielle sliding her hands under the blanket and began to scratch her back gently.

" Gabrielle wake up sweetheart."

" Oh please Xena. Just a few more minutes," Came the bleary reply.

" Of course love, " Xena said.

Xena got up and began to think about a warm bath. The village they stopped in had a hot spring that was well known all over Greece. It sure would be better with Gabrielle Xena thought to herself.

She began to gather her leathers up quietly so as not wake Gabrielle. She grabbed her small bag and put the herbal soap mixture she used in it. She also grabbed two towels. She figured Gabrielle wouldn't be able to stay away from the fabled hot spring for long. They had gotten into town late the night before. By the time they made sure Argo was properly housed and fed it was so late they decided to just stay over in the stables. The stable boy said it was fine. As a matter of fact he didn't even charge them. It wasn't their first time in a barn. They made a huge soft pile of hay and curled up together. They were asleep instantly, like overtired children after solstice day. She dressed quickly in a simple white shrift and headed out the barn door. The morning was cool and crisp but it would definitely be warming up later in the day. Spring in Greece could be unpredictable but today looked like it would shape up well.

Xena smiled to herself, this had been a good month and they seemed to be putting the events of Potedia behind them. It was pure luck that she found Gabrielle after her plunge into the pit at Dehak's temple. She had thought she lost her forever. A life without Gabrielle would be too much to bear. Xena never thought of herself as a particularly tender person, but Gabrielle seemed to bring it out in her.

She walked down the path and it led her about a half a mile through the wood to a clearing where there was a small hill. Xena thought it would be perfect for her exercises. Xena cleared her mind and began Tai Chi. She had learned it in the kingdom of Chin and found it was very useful for keeping her limber and pain free. A lifetime of fighting is had taken it's toll on her body. After about thirty minutes her workout ended. She felt calm and relaxed and thoroughly ready for a warm dip. She had been practicing about a half a mile from the cave that held the hot spring. She walked to the cave. Being tall she had to duck a bit to enter the cave. As soon as she entered she could feel the steam warming her skin. She walked a few paces along the side of the pool and found a flat rock to set her clothes on. She quickly undressed and slipped into the spring. She leaned her head back against the rock and reflected on the last month. The steam began to soothe her as it rose up and the warmth of the water soaked deep into her muscles.

They had been making a slow trek out of Potedia and the first weeks were hard. Xena knew in her heart no matter how evil Hope and her child had been they were still Gabrielle's family. Her children, and their death tore her apart. The first few weeks all she could do was hold Gabrielle and let her cry. Gabrielle barely slept and was plagued with nightmares. She knew the deaths of Hope and her child were unavoidable; but knowing in your head and knowing in your heart are two different things.

They had no real destination in mind the only goal was to give Gabrielle time to heal. It was getting better Xena thought. There were less sleepless nights for both of them.

Gabrielle had lost that listless quality that had dominated her personality after Hope and her child died in Potedia. Xena knew she had a way to go and that she might never be the same person she met four years ago. The only thing Xena wanted was for Gabrielle to be happy and she was willing to wait as long as it took for that to happen.

As if summoned a blonde head appeared above the rock, " So is this a private party or can anyone join?" Gabrielle asked.

"Well... " Xena said." I suppose I can trade peace of mind for a little company". Gabrielle smiled and this time it rose up and made her eyes sparkle, a good sign. Gabrielle undressed and slipped in beside Xena.

"Oh by the gods they weren't kidding this is pure pleasure." She said

"Yes it's soothing on sore old muscles."

"Old," Gabrielle said in mock surprise, "Why Xena I thought you never admitted to defeat even if the fight is with destiny."

Xena raised an eyebrow, "Just you wait your time is coming. Anyway I'm still with you so I haven't escaped my destiny." Gabrielle laughed and splashed her. In return Xena grabbed Gabrielle and spun her around.

"This is for implying I'm getting old," With that she dunked Gabrielle under the water. Gabrielle never one to back down came up sputtering, laughing and splashing. When her giggles had tapered off she leaned back and settled into Xena.

Xena took a small amount of her herbal mix out of her bag and began to wash Gabrielle's hair. As she scrubbed the girl all over she asked her where they should travel to next.

"Well, if it's all the same to you I'd like to stay here a bit longer. They have a great theater and I could sure come back to these springs a few more times."

Xena, glad to see Gabrielle regaining interest in some of her old hobbies readily agreed to stay.

"Maybe you'll be inspired to do a bit of writing."

Gabrielle sighed;"Xena my writing has always been about our adventures and lately......" She tapered off.

"I know, but maybe you'll change your mind."

"Maybe", She replied without much conviction.

"Well time to get out I'm pruning, let's explore the town." Xena said

" Okay." She said.

They quickly dressed and headed out of the cave. The day was brilliantly sunny. Xena had to squint as she came out of the cave. They were still a bit damp but the sun warmed and dried them before they had a chance to feel a chill. They had a mile walk back to the town and they mostly walked in silence.

The walk was gorgeous. The area just outside town was made up of rolling green hills and patches of forest. The path they were on lead directly through the woods and just beside the hills. The main village was where most of the townspeople lived. It had everything. There was a Blacksmith, a stable, a tavern and luckily for Gabrielle a theater. That was a rarity in smaller towns such as this one. Between the main part of the village and the hot springs was the path they were on. The path wound through the hills and into the woods and back out into the village. There were occasional farms near the path but for the most part it was unspoiled. The stable was on the opposite edge of town so they had to pass through the wood and into the town to get back.

After a time Xena became aware of crackling branches behind them. She was also aware her sixth sense was making the hairs on her arms stand up. Xena never ignored her instincts. She scanned the woods to her left. No matter how relaxing their vacation she was still well aware that there were several people out there who wanted to see her head on a platter.

"I think were being followed" Gabrielle said.

"I know and I plan to find out who it is."

They headed quietly into the forests outskirts. Gabrielle took position behind a bush to cover Xena. Xena quickly and scaled the tree. From about halfway up was able to see most of the path behind them. Xena then knew why she was able to hear their pursuer long before he arrived. A figure was visible and from what Xena could see he was a boy of no more than 13. Some tracker she thought to herself, probably some kid trying to make his reputation by picking a fight with the destroyer of nations. Xena tucked her feet under and executed a neat flip, landing directly in front of the surprised boy. It was all she could do not to laugh out loud. He was a cherub, slim and blonde with adorable curls. She doubted he had even gone on his first hunt or courted his first girl. Gabrielle stepped out from behind the bush staff in hand to back up Xena. She was a bit more wary, after all Xena was leading armies at about this age.

Xena suppressed her laughter and with all the intimidation she could muster said to the child.

"Why are you following me and my friend?'"

"I. I.I" The boy stammered.

"Yessss" Xena hissed.

" I meant no harm", He blushed "I only heard that you were the Warrior Princess and you could heal even the dying."

"Who's dying?" Gabrielle said as she walked up.

"And why didn't you approach us like a man, face to face" Xena finished.

" Well Xena", Gabrielle sighed, "Because he's not, besides you scare everyone except me and your mother half to death."

Xena raised an eyebrow, "Okay then who's dying?"

A tear fell from the boy's eye, "My sister. She burns with fever and shakes uncontrollably at times."

Xena softened a bit, "Maybe we can help."

"What's your name?" Gabrielle asked.

"Nikolai," the boy said, " My family runs the tavern and the inn in town. There was talk that Xena was in here. I saw you coming out of the hot springs. After all the stories I heard I assumed you must be Xena."

"Xena your reputation knows no limits," Gabrielle smirked and turned to Nikolai. "Let's see that sister of yours."

They headed back through the woods and into the town. Gabrielle could feel the sun warming her back. By this time she had gotten over her initial wariness and just wanted to get on and help the child at the tavern. In Potedia she was always the first to jump in and help anyone in need. Nowadays she was more careful. Not everyone was what he or she claimed to be. To be honest it was more than just experience. These days she could hardly help herself let alone anyone else. It was all she could do to try to get over Hope's death. Xena had said that she was her way, but Gabrielle had never felt so far away from the girl who had helped Xena as she did now.

They crested the hill and the tavern came into view. Behind it was a small two-story inn. The three of them headed down the path and entered the tavern. Being the middle of the day it was nearly empty. There were several tables and a long wood bar. Behind the bar was a middle aged man and his wife. Xena scanned the bar and saw there were only four patrons there. Out the back door She could see the water pumps and wells used in cooking and cleaning. The man stood up straight and looked visibly shaken when he saw Xena walk in.

"Xena, Nikolai you brought her here...You brought Xena." He stammered.

"Yes father she's Kyra's only hope, she's a great healer."

" How many died so she could learn those skills," He said "I heard everything that happened in Kahnia."

"That was not my army." Xena said.

"No but it was your fault," He spat "That town was burnt to the ground, innocent people died there."

"Look Mister.... what's your name Sir?" Gabrielle said. She had heard this tale before, albeit under different circumstances.

"Menos." The man said

"Menos, okay apparently you haven't been keeping up. Xena fights for good now and she's you daughters best bet for survival."

" Husband this is our child. I won't have you stand in the way of someone who wants to help her." The woman cut in.

" What did you say to me?" He began to advance on her, stopping only as he saw the look on Xena's face. "

" Fine, if that's what my wife wants. But I'll not traffic with murderers." With that he stormed out the back door.

" Flattery and gratitude will get you everywhere." Xena commented.

" Come on Xena," Gabrielle said "Let's see if we can help her."

Gabrielle knew even though Xena put up a brave front it bothered her, never getting the benefit of the doubt. She tried so hard to change the past. She wished Xena could forgive herself. Learn that without the past, good and bad she wouldn't be who she was.

"Please excuse my husband. His brother lived in Kahnia." Mrs. Menos said "I for one am very grateful to have you here."

The woman smiled and gestured for them to follow her out back to the inn. They crossed the yard where the pumps and wells were and headed in the front door of the inn.

The inn was neat and well kept with small kitchen attached to a main room. Near the back were the stairs that led up to the second floor. Xena and Gabrielle headed up a narrow stair into a long hallway. They walked down the hall past several rooms to a back bedroom. It was obviously a child's room. Some one had painted the ceiling dark blue and added stars. On the bed under a heap of blankets lay a child of no more than five. Xena crossed the room and sat on the side of the bed. She could see that the child was flushed with fever and her skin burned to the touch.

"Well," Xena said " First of all we need to get all these blankets off her."

"But the healer in town said she needs to sweat out this fever." Mrs. Menos said.

"Hogwash," Xena said, "Her body temperature is high enough. The extra blankets only make it worse."

Xena turned to Nikolai. "Go get me a basin with clean warm water and some soap. Also grab a second basin with cool water and some rags we can use to help bring her temperature down."

Xena removed the blankets off the child and noticed a large deep cut on the child's right thigh. The gash had been poorly stitched with irregular sutures. The skin around the wound was an angry red and appeared swollen. Xena also noticed that there was whitish puss coming from between the sutures.

"Well I think I found the source of the problem."

"How do you know?" Gabrielle asked

"Mrs. Menos when the healer came did you notice if he washed his hands before touching Kyra's wound?"

"No," She replied "You're the first healer I've ever seen ask for a basin."

"What does that have to do with the fever?" Gabrielle asked

" I'm not sure. Over the years I watched healers work in battle. Sometimes they would work on several patients in a row without stopping to wash, many of them would fall ill. A few days later they would die of fever. I once knew some one..." Xena paused, "She would wash before touching each patient and a lot more of them lived. I can only assume something on unclean hands makes people sick."

Gabrielle noticed Xena's discomfort and decided to let it go. She would tell whatever tales she had to tell when she was ready. Nikolai returned with the two basins in hand and a few clean rags over his shoulder.

"Is this enough?" He asked.

Xena completely absorbed in the examination of the wound ignored him. Gabrielle stepped forward and took the basin of cool water and the rags.

"This will be perfect," She said, " Now give the soap and water to Xena." With that she dipped the rags in the cool water. She than began to place them on the child's forehead and under her arms. Over the years Gabrielle had learned a lot about healing from Xena. First and foremost that cooling a fever-racked patient could save their lives. Xena always said that fever was good up to a point and than it could be deadly.

Xena took the other basin from Nikolai and set it down. She grabbed the soap and began to wash her hands. When they were sufficiently clean she began to Asses the wound. As she noted before the stitches were irregular and ragged. Fortunately they had only recently been sutured and the flesh had not begun to heal around them.

"Gabrielle, give me my dagger," She said "Mrs. Menos do you have any old bread?"

"Yes of course, we have some left from last weeks stocks we haven't thrown it out yet. We have been too busy with Kyra taking ill. I'll go get it."

With that she headed downstairs. Gabrielle handed her the dagger out of her bag,"Xena this is hardly the time to think about eating."

"What?" Xena said. "Oh no not to eat. Believe me with you around to cook I have no interest in moldy bread." She smiled at Gabrielle.

"Well, what then?"

"I'm putting it on the wound to help it to heal better."

"Xena where on earth did you learn that?" Gabrielle looked at her in wonder. Even after all these years Xena never failed to amaze her.

"Long story love and right now we have a sick kid to care for."

"Of course." Gabrielle murmured. Just than Mrs. Menos returned with a small stock of very old looking bread.

"Is this okay?" She asked.

"Perfect." Xena replied. With that she took the knife and walked over to the hearth. She held the knife into the fire until it was red-hot. She waited for it to cool and than headed back over to the child. And gently, with clean hands cut apart the sutures. A foul odor escaped from the wound. There was a great deal of puss. Xena took a rag out of the basin with soapy water and gently cleaned the wound.

"Gabrielle hand me the bread."

Gabrielle handed it to her. She began to put neat stitches into the girl's thigh, when she was done she took a small amount of the mold and spread it on the wound.

"What now?" Gabrielle asked

"We wait. Mrs. Menos make sure you keep her cool with the rags, don't let the fever get too high."

" Will she be all right?"

"Well that remains to be seen," Xena said "but for now I'd like to go feed Argo,

Gabrielle, are you coming?"

" Yes, I don't know what else we can do for now." Gabrielle replied

"Please you'll come back for dinner?" Mrs. Menos said

Nikolai who had been quiet up to this point chimed in, " Yes please I want to hear stories of the Warrior princess."

Gabrielle and Xena's eyes met and they exchanged an amused look, "Mrs. Menos we don't want to cause you any trouble." Xena said

"Oh believe me when he loses his temper and leaves he usually doesn't come back for all night. Better for us." She said.

"Of course we'll be back, " Gabrielle, said, " Anyway we need to check on Kyra. And Nikolai your in luck not only am I a bard but I know some great Xena stories."

Xena gave her a friendly push out of the bedroom," Watch it, I've had a few bards for lunch in my day."

Nikolai cut into their banter and said," Thank you for helping Kyra."

"Your quite welcome." Gabrielle said and put a hand on the boy's shoulder. This was the first time in months she felt good. For a brief period her problems seemed so far away. All the focus was on helping the little girl get better.

Xena and Gabrielle headed out of the room and back down the stairs. They exited the inn and walked past the tavern. Neither one was saying much. Both women were lost in thought; their main concern was for the child. Xena was thinking that when the mold worked it worked great. The problem was it didn't always work. Even after all her years as a healer the little ones still bothered her. It was much more difficult to treat a child. They died more unexpectedly. No one she ever met liked doing it.

As they passed the tavern and headed out of the main part of the town they came across a fruit stand. Behind the stand was a dark haired man with the well-worn look of a traveler.

"Ladies what is your pleasure. I have apples, mangos, papaya and even kiwi from exotic lands far off." He smiled and gestured at the large rack of fairly fresh looking fruit.

"Kiwi what's that? I've never heard of it." Gabrielle asked.

"Traders from the south and east of the great kingdom of Chin brought them. They're the little green hairy ones." He said.

"Well I'll be damned if I'm eating anything hairy," Xena said, "But Argo might like an apple."

"Oh Xena let's try one of those mango things I'm a bit hungry."

With that Gabrielle pulled a few dinars out of her purse and paid for their items.

" Thank you lovely lady." The salesman said.

Gabrielle gave a small curtsy at the compliment and they headed back toward the stable. As they walked back down the path Xena took her hand.

"Thank you." Xena said

" For what?" Gabrielle asked.

" You know, for not pushing about Kahnia."

" Xena, I know you'll tell me when you're ready." She stopped on the path and turned to face Xena. "I hope you know whatever it is, nothing could change the way I feel about you."

Deep in her heart Xena hoped it was true.

" Gabrielle this was the one time in my life I was a coward."

" What.." Gabrielle was stunned. "Xena you've never been afraid of anything in your life and I've never seen you run from battle."

" It's more complicated than that." She paused to pull her thoughts together. "It was a responsibility I ran from. I was very young and I let others define who I was. And whom I had a right to. In leaving I let down someone I loved very much. Thank the Gods she wasn't alive to see it."

Gabrielle took a minute to digest this." Xena when we are young we all make mistakes, and we all let others down. Gods know I've done my share."

"No, Xena protested, "You had no control over what happened to you. You're better than that. "

"Why because you love me? Xena most situations are complicated. There is not always a clear answer. We try so hard to do the right thing. But we are only human. You and I are no exception. All we can do is learn from our mistakes."

" Than I must be a genius by now." Xena said

They resumed walking back to the stables in a comfortable silence. When they got to the door still holding Gabrielle's hand, Xena opened it and gently pulled her through.

"Hey Argo, got a treat for you." Xena said.

Gabrielle let go of her hand and reached in her bag for the apple. She handed it to Xena. She pulled her own Mango out and ate it. Xena held the apple up and Argo whinnied appreciatively. She then pulled a bag of oats out of their stock to compliment Argo's meal.

With her back to Gabrielle she took a deep breath and said," Let me pull my thoughts together. On the way back to check on Kyra I'll tell you the whole story of Kahnia."

" Okay Xena, for now a small nap is in order."

Xena let her breath out in a deep sigh. She finished feeding Argo and stroked her mane. She prayed silently that Gabrielle had meant what she said in the wood. That she would love her no matter what. Gods she thought some of the things I've done it's a wonder anyone...She cut the thought off sharply. No sense worrying about it till the story is told, she said firmly to herself.

She walked across the barn to where Gabrielle lay and settled down beside her. She easily slipped an arm around her and they both dozed.

Mr. Menos was not used to being told what to do. He was a wealthy man he had influence in town. By the Gods he thought: I'll be damned If some bloodthirsty killer and her scraggly sidekick are going to boss me around in my own home. As he pushed through the tavern doors he thought if it weren't for his children being present he would have shown the Warrior princess a thing or two. And as for his wife she showed her nerve talking back to him. When he got home he would be sure to remind her who ran this family. She wouldn't be so bold without Xena to back her up.

Mr. Menos took a seat at his own bar. The bartender a large burly Turk named Kristo came over after serving a stranger at the end of the bar.

" Hello boss how's the day?" He asked.

"Lousy," Mr. Menos replied.

"Guess you didn't care for your visit from the Warrior princess." The Kristo said.

" How did you know?" Mr. Menos asked in surprise.

" Everybody knows when there's a celebrity in town. Guess you really stood up to her and got revenge for your brother." Kristo smirked

He knew he was hitting a sore spot with his boss. He didn't care. Mr. Menos was petty and a braggart, especially on the subject of Xena. The only problem was nobody expected her to show up in this sleepy little town.

Mr. Menos stood up red in the face and said," I only backed down because my daughter was sick. The next time I see her I'll have my revenge. And you'll do well to remember that if you want to keep your job."

Kristo was not intimidated," Boss I've been thrown out of better places than this. I'm sure I can find another gig. You on the other hand would be hard pressed to find someone fool enough to work for you. I'm all you got."

" I'm not afraid of her. I will avenge my brother.." Mr. Menos hissed.

" Sure boss, whatever you say." Kristo walked off shaking his head. He doubted Mr. Menos would have time to finish a sentence on the subject of revenge before Xena cut him down. Kristo had heard enough stories about her.

The stranger slid down to the end of the bar, " Maybe that can happen sooner than later."

"And who are you to involve yourself in my affairs?" Mr. Menos said.

"Well let's just say I work for someone who wants to see Xena pay as much as you do?" The stranger replied.

"Impossible, no one lost what I did." He snapped.

The stranger stood up quickly and stood nose to nose with Mr. Menos," I doubt that," He said. "My boss lost someone very close." The stranger took a step back and smoothed his tunic," Anyway no matter who suffered the most we both have a common goal."

"The extermination of Xena?" Mr. Menos asked.

" And any one who stands with her." The stranger finished.

Kristo watched this exchange from the other end of the bar where he was wiping glasses. He didn't like it. All day long that stranger had been hanging around asking questions about Xena. Luckily this was a small town and people were wary about talking to outsiders. Kristo felt no particular loyalty to Xena but this sneaking around really rubbed him the wrong way. It just wasn't the way to operate. If someone had a beef with Xena shouldn't they handle it themselves? For that matter shouldn't Mr. Menos?

Kristo would even if it got him killed. If the stranger was looking for a fellow coward to team up with he sure found it in Mr. Menos.

Xena awoke from her doze lying on her back with Gabrielle's right arm across her chest and her right leg strewn across her waist. Her face was tucked down over Xena's left shoulder. Xena placed one hand at the small of her back and nuzzled her ear.

"Gabrielle," She whispered. " Wake up sweetheart."

Gabrielle's eyes fluttered open and she turned to Xena, their faces inches apart," Oh Xena I was having the nicest dream and you were in it."

" Care to reenact that dream?" Xena asked.

Awhile later as they were dressing, Xena asked Gabrielle if she was ready to head back and check on Kyra.

"Yes," She said. " As much as I would love to just lie around here with you I'm really worried about the girl."

"Me too."

As Xena loaded up their gear she grabbed a mango out of Gabrielle's bag and began to munch on it.

" Hey these aren't bad."

" Yeah you just gotta watch the strings in your teeth." Gabrielle replied.

Xena ducked away and pulled three or four strings out, " I don't know what you're talking about."

They headed out and walked down the path. Xena figured if Mrs. Menos had followed instructions the child's fever should be down by now. She hoped so anyway. She didn't have much that could stop a convulsion. She had a few herbs that had a sedative effect, but even these were lousy at best. It was late afternoon and in spite of their snack both women were a bit hungry.

"I for one am looking forward to a home cooked meal." Gabrielle said.

" Well I have no complaints with your cooking."

" Thank you, but it's nice not to have to do all the work."

" Hey I've been known to wash a dish."

" Sure you have. Hey, how about taking my mind off my stomach with a story?" Gabrielle asked.

"Okay, I suppose it has to come out sooner or later."

She took a deep breath and began. They continued walking back to the inn.

" It was just after I had left Solon with the centaurs. I was back on my own again. Thanks to Lao Ma my legs were healed, but sadly I hadn't learned a damn thing from her. I was tired; I had lost my son and Lao Ma. I wanted a different life but until I met you I had no idea how to start it. Let alone make it last."

" Xena you would have found a way."

" No I wouldn't have." She shook her head emphatically. She paused for a minute. She wondered how to make Gabrielle understand what it's like to live this way. For every action there is a reaction, and for every violent action there is usually a violent reaction. It becomes a never-ending cycle you can't break out of. The violence seeps into every aspect of your life until it becomes the only way.

"You see Gabrielle people who are violent only know one way to deal with their problems. It is very easy to resort to violence. It doesn't require much thought or sacrifice. Brutal people attract other brutal people. They see violence as normal. If they think it's the only thing you're capable of, it sort of becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's hard to stand on your own and break the cycle, especially if there is no one around to set a good example."

" So you mean all that talking I did when I first met you actually did some good?"

"Yes. It taught me that there was another way to solve problems. You taught me there were options. I don't always have to resort to killing. You always assumed the best about me when everyone else assumed the worst."

This touched Gabrielle deep down. She had always thought that in the beginning she was a nuisance.

"So you left the Centaurs and did what?"

Xena took a deep breath and began her story??. I decided it was time to go back out to sea. I needed money and until Caesar I had been a pretty good pirate. This time I wasn't going to be a pirate again. I thought if I could make enough maybe I could get away and think of what to do next. I murdered the captain of a small ship called the Frog Prince. His crew was just as cutthroat as I was. They rolled right over for the next thug to come along. We robbed several ships near Greece, traders mostly. When we had built up enough cash I was done. These people were idiots, but they had served their purpose. Unfortunately they were not as ready to let me go. The first mate was a big ugly guy named Roman. He felt that he was entitled to my planning skills and my affections. He made his intentions clear one afternoon.

" Xena, we have made so much money," He said one afternoon. " We make quite a team. Let's make this a real partnership."

" I don't think so." I said

"Why not Xena we would be invincible. You know with your skills you could make me a very happy man."

" Get this through your thick head Roman. I am through with you and your crew. I only used you to make enough money to get out of Greece."

" You think you're leaving me," He said.

I leaned in so we were nose-to-nose and said: "You got your share, what's the problem?"

" I want more than just money," He said. " And if I can't have you no one will." He drew his sword. We fought on the deck of the Frog Prince. None of the crew stepped in. Roman had a pretty rough reputation. So did I. I must have been a bit off my game, or maybe it was the storm coming in. Anyway I was knocked off the starboard side and into the ocean. I was close enough to see land, but I couldn't quite reach it. I swam for a while until I got tired. Apparently the Frog prince and her crew were lost at sea. I must have washed up on shore. The first thing I remember is someone roughly pinching my nostrils shut and breathing in my mouth. This was a good thing because it forced me to take a deep breath and cough up all that water. I blacked out again and I awoke to find myself strapped tightly to a long wooden board. I could hear a woman talking to me.

" Relax," She said. " You're strapped to a board, just until we can get you back to the hospice. It prevents further injuries."

This was smart. Those roads were rough. I woke some days later in a narrow bed. Everything hurt and my head felt very fuzzy. The room was dark but I could vaguely make out a figure dozing in the chair by the bed. I was out again and the next time I woke I saw she was still with me. Only now she was awake. She had her elbows on her knees and her head cradled on one hand. There were deep dark circles under her eyes.

" Hello stranger, what's your name." She said.

"Xena," I managed to croak out. "Can I have some water?"

"Sure." She said. She filled a glass from the pitcher at my bedside and helped me drink it. I was still pretty weak at that point.

" You're pretty lucky. You had a nasty head injury from hitting the rocks when you washed up on shore. We almost lost you."

"Where am I? I asked her." "Who are you? How did you find me?"

She laughed at me. "Easy killer," she said "One question at a time."

She said her name was Alanna. She ran the hospice they had people watching the shores for shipwreck survivors since the waters were so rough.

"Alanna," I said. "That doesn't sound Greek."

Inconsistency drives me crazy. I wanted to know who I was with. I was not very trusting back then. She smiled and said: "I'm Gaelic." I asked her what other injuries I had.

"Let's find out," She said.

Lucky for me I was not too bad. She started her examination at my head. She gently felt all over the front and back of my head. She said for me to tell her if anything hurt. Everything was sore but nothing was unbearable, she than palpated down the back of my neck.

"Everything is where it should be," She said. "Does it hurt or is it difficult to move?

" No, I "m just a little sore and my head is fuzzy," I said. "Are you looking for anything specific?"

" Well, sometimes patients with bad head or neck injuries never walk again." She said.

" Why?" I asked.

"I don't know, very small portion recover in a day. Most however die or are permanently disabled. There is nothing anyone can do about it. I was worried about you because you have such a bad head injury. Head and neck injuries often go together."

She kept palpating down the front of my chest and occasionally asked me if anything hurt. She also checked my arms. Everything moved well, but I had some nasty bruises. Most of them were from the fight with Roman.

She assessed me from head to toe. When she was done She said every thing seemed to be working well.

"Now that you're more alert I feel okay leaving you for a few hours. I'll be back to check on you."

I was still in and out for a few more days, but finally after a while I started to feel like my old self. Alanna had developed a routine of stopping by in the afternoon everyday to check on me. We would talk. Sometimes she would take me out on the hospice grounds for fresh air. It was nice to have the company. I was vulnerable, physically and mentally I was tired of everyone fearing me. No one trusted me and I trusted no one. People were close to me only to gain something. I thought I could live without love or friendship when I was young. But without it life is unbearable. No amount of power or influence changes that. Alanna was one of the few people I met that genuinely wanted to help me without asking anything in return. Part of it was because it was her job, but she took a personal interest in her job. She saw a person not an illness or injury."

One day she was late so I headed over to the clinic to see if I could find her. I was feeling a bit restless. As soon as I start feeling better I can't sit still. The hospice was in the seaside town of Kahnia. The town and the hospice were about half a mile inland from the beach. There was a trail that led down to the beach. Alanna had set up a lookout on the cliffs. It was beautiful. There were three main buildings on the grounds. The two back buildings were used to house patients. The main building in front housed the hospice staff and served as a small clinic. This is where I headed. I opened the door of the clinic and there was a young man sitting at a small table. He asked me if he could help me. I said yes I was looking for Alanna. He asked my name and went in search of her. About five minutes later she showed up. She walked over to me and put her hands on my face. She looked concerned, "Are you okay," she said, "Why are you here?"

" I'm just bored." I said.

" Come back to the patient area." She said. "I have to finish up with another patient and I'll be right with you."

She was examining a difficult old woman. She was kind, thorough, and patient. She showed tenderness and respect. I hadn't seen that in a long time. I never would have put up with it. When she was finished she came over to me, and asked if I was okay. She did a quick head to toe exam.

"You look okay to me." She said. "Are you hungry do you want to go into town and eat with me?"

I agreed. We walked across the grounds and down the road to the town. I could taste the salt of the ocean. There were green forests to the left and the sun shone down making all the colors that much brighter. She told me she had a daughter. One of the other healers had agreed to watch her. She turned to me, "I know exactly who you are. My question is what are you going to do with yourself now?"

I was stunned. I never expected her to just come right out and say it. I thought I had gotten away with something. That she wouldn't figure out who I was

" How do you know about me?" I asked.

" One of the things my hospice does is go out and treat victims of war. I make it my business to know who all the players are. That way I know what I am dealing with. I have heard all about you. You have quite a reputation."

" If I'm that bad why didn't you just leave me to die?"

" I never refuse to treat a patient. But I have rules here; no one interferes with my patients. If they do I handle it."

I was thrown, she wasn't challenging me, but she was letting me know she tolerated no trouble.

" I have a feeling about you. I think there is more to you than meets the eye." So, I repeat, what are you going to do?"

I answered honestly: "I don't have a clue."

"Do you want to stay and learn to be a healer?" She asked.

"Yes, I want to stay here with you." I said.

I learned so much. She was doing things I had never thought of. She was the first person I ever saw wash. She had a theory that dirty hands caused people to get sick and die. She didn't know why but she believed it. She set up basins of clean soapy water outside all the rooms and insisted everyone wash before touching a patient. As we worked closely together I became curios about her past. How did a Gaelic girl wind up in Greece? We got in the habit of having dinner together most nights. We would talk about everything except her past. I spent four years with her. It took about eight months; one night we had had a bit to drink and I just came out and asked her. She said her parents who were very poor, sold her to Turkish brothel owner. She didn't think they knew what really happened to her. I had heard of that, even though I never did it myself. Child slavers would take advantage of poor families and tell them tales of a better life for their children. The only good part was that she served as a healer to all the children of the brothel. A brilliant but very cold and calculating physician trained her. The children of the brothel were little more than an experiment to him. Alanna was a very damaged person it was hard for her to let me love her. She finally escaped at about seventeen with a few of the other kids who worked there. She decided to put her skills to good use and start a hospice. I was so moved by her story and I had been holding back so long that I just leaned over and kissed her. She was a bit surprised but she responded. In the beginning it was push and pull. She was hard to get close to. I had a few walls built up myself, but we figured it out the best we could. We spent the next four years together??

" Was she happy with you?" Gabrielle cut in.

" I hope so," Xena paused in her story. "I think she had some peace in the years we were together. I know she loved her work, I know she loved her daughter. She had a hard life and she died young, I just hope it was good for a while for her."

" Were you close to her daughter?"

"Very," said Xena. "Her name was Brenna and she was about eight when I arrived. Her father had been a volunteer at the hospice. He died just after she was born. His family lived two villages away and was very wealthy. They always thought he was too good to waste his time at the hospice. But they loved the child. They just pushed her away by badmouthing her mother. He was killed trying to rescue a drowning patient. By all accounts he was a sweet and gentle boy. His family always blamed Alanna for his death. They felt she led him into the life. They hated me. Imagine they would say; our granddaughter brought up by a killer. Alanna always stood up to them."

I spent quite a bit of time with Brenna. She had no father and her mother was busy. I would take her fishing or teach her to hunt. I even taught her some fighting skills. I used to tell her it was a tough old world and girls needed to know how to defend themselves. We used to spend hours debating the difference between an ideal world and the real world. It was a good four years."

" But it came to an end." Gabrielle said

"Yeah......."Xena trailed off.

" Xena you don't have to talk about this."

Xena brushed away a tear; " Yes I do. I have never told this story. It needs to come out, and if I can't tell you I can't tell anyone."

Gabrielle took her hand; " Okay when your ready I'm listening."

Xena took a minute and continued. "One day I took Brenna on a fishing trip out to sea. We were deep sea fishing all day. Before we knew it was nightfall. It was summer so the night was warm and beautiful. Every star in the sky shone like a jewel. We could see the cliffs jutting into the ocean from where we were a mile out to sea. The water was calm and the dolphins were out and very playful. Brenna begged me to stay out overnight. I agreed. I knew Alanna was working at the hospice to cover another healer. We stretched out under the stars and slept like babies. The next morning we sailed inland and gathered our gear to go back to the hospice." Xena paused as the memory overtook her. She had not expected it to still hurt so bad after all these years. They stopped walking for a moment. Gabrielle looked up at her; "Are you okay?"

" I think so. I've just held this inside so long." Xena said. "We walked back into town up the road. We were talking and laughing when I smelled smoke. I stopped abruptly. Brenna asked what was wrong. I said I didn't know but I wanted her to wait at the edge of the woods that led up to the hospice grounds. I continued up the path and I saw...." She stopped, her breath hitched, the day came back in all its brutal colors and sounds. As if it had just happened. As she told the story she could smell the smoke all over again, and the awful sweet smell of burning flesh, like a pig roast in Hades. She continued?.. There were bodies everywhere, some burnt, some slaughtered, some dropped in their tracks dead from the smoke. There was a large poplar tree in front of where the main clinic used to be. Hanging upside down was Alanna. She had been gutted like a pig from throat to waist. I stopped dead in my tracks. I was filled with such pain and rage I thought it would break me in half. There were a few survivors huddled near the tree. No one had bothered to cut Alanna down. Among the survivors were Brenna's grandparents Her grandmother pointed to me. " You brought him here, that demon named Roman. And he killed my daughter." About that time I heard a scream from behind me. Brenna had snuck up and she saw her mother. I grabbed her and held her close so she wouldn't see anymore. I suspect that image never left her.

"Get your hands off the child, murderer," She walked up and tried to pull the child away. "Isn't it enough her mother died to protect you?"

The words cut deep. Roman was a demon from my past. He was so jealous and obsessed when he found out I was alive that he killed Alanna and half her town. I could have at least been there to stop him. I was lulled into complacency. I forgot who I was. If it hadn't been Roman it would have been someone else. Alanna paid with her life for my mistakes. Brenna held on to me. She begged me not to leave her even as her grandmother tried to pull her away. She cried and said: " I don't care if you're my real mother, I want to stay with you."

I wanted to keep her so badly, not just because it was a connection to her mother but also because I loved her like my own child. In the end I let them take her from me. I felt like I had no claim to her. After what happened to her mother she was better off without me. When they left I climbed to the top of the tree and I cut Alanna down. My heart was broken. As I buried her there was no way to express the horror and loss I felt. I wanted everyone to hurt like I did. So in true Xena fashion I rounded up an army and went after Roman. I killed him and everyone who rode with him. I was crazed with grief and anger. And all that killing didn't change a thing.

Xena put her head in her hands. Gabrielle put her arms around her and rocked her gently; " Oh Xena, I'm so sorry."

Mr. Menos followed the stranger out of the tavern. The stranger (whose name happened to be Marcos), told Mr. Menos he had a special place in the plan for him. All he had to do was meet Marcos boss and give up Xena's location. Marcos had heard rumors that Xena was nearby. The damn villagers were so tight lipped with outsiders that he couldn't get a specific location for his boss. Still, he was being paid well to find Xena and he intended to earn his money.

Mr. Menos was curios about who wanted to go up against Xena. He went along. He knew he would be paid well, but really he wanted to see that black haired bitch suffer. They walked about a mile out of town to the west. They came up on an encampment. They saw several tents set up in a clearing. Intertwined in between the tents were several fires. Assortments of mercenaries hired for this job were all over the campgrounds. Some sat by the fires, some sparred with their swords and some loudly argued. Mr. Menos thought to himself; they seem to enjoy arguing. And on the heels of that, Boy are they an ugly bunch. He was led to a large elaborate tent. Before they went in Marcos stopped him.

" Mr. Menos I hope you understand you're about to meet my boss. I demand the utmost respect. Not only is she a generous boss but also she's one mean bitch. You don't want a piece of her."

Mr. Menos mumbled something and looked down.

Marcos got right in his face, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you?"

"Okay, remember I'm helping you here." He whined.

"I'll remember. But you remember who it is your dealing with."

Marcos stepped into the tent alone. By now all the mercenaries were looking at Mr. Menos like he was a particularly tasty piece of meat. Mr. Menos wished Marcos would hurry up and rescue him from under this thick blanket of menace. The air was heavy with violence. Mr. Menos thought once they saw him go into the boss's tent they would see him in a new light. Marcos stepped back out, "Follow me." He said

With that he led Mr. Menos into the tent. It took a minute for Mr. Menos's eyes to adjust to the dark after the bright of the day. When they did he gasped. A beautiful dark haired woman stood before him. She was decked out in full warrior regalia, and she had brilliant icy green eyes.

"So," She said. " You're Menos?

" Y-y-yes.' He stammered.

"And you're going to give me the Warrior princess?"

"I-I-I I am."

" Good. If you're telling the truth I'll reward you beyond your wildest dreams." She leaned in close so her nose was almost touching his; " If you're lying I'll be happy to kick your teeth down your throat," She stepped back. " So little man where is she?"

" She was at my house earlier today."

" That doesn't exactly help me."

" No, no I mean to say she'll be back....My daughter is sick. She'll check on her."

" Hmmm....Is she with anyone?"

" Yes she has a young blonde traveling companion."

" Is this young woman her friend?"

" Yes they appear unnaturally close."

The woman's face contorted in anger. " How easily she forgot." After a second her it returned to it's former impassive calm; " No matter this may work to our advantage"

The woman licked her lips, " You're willing to risk your family to see your brother avenged?"

" I'm not afraid. I can protect them when the time comes." The twitch in his left eyelid told a different story.

The woman smiled " If you say so little man. We are coming, and we will reward you when it's over." With a wave of her hand she dismissed him. He scampered out of the tent and back home. The walk through camp was quick and unpleasant.

The woman turned back to Marcos, " We mount up now. When it's over kill Menos. Any man who betrays his own family is not to be trusted. I have a plan to make Xena suffer. She can watch the one person she needs the most die in front of her like I did. But we can't do it here."

They bowed their heads together and when they were done Marcos nodded; " Okay we'll lure her back home and do it there."

He leaned out of the tent and shouted at the top of his lungs " Time to mount up boys."

The boys had waited impatiently all day. They mounted up hoping to see some action. Xena and Gabrielle reached the inn later that afternoon. Mrs. Menos greeted them at the door, " Hello Xena, hello Gabrielle." She said

" Hello, " Gabrielle said. " We came back to check on Kyra. How is she?"

"Better. She's still warm but she's awake."

"I'll go up and check on her." Xena said. She headed up the stairs.

Mrs. Menos turned to Gabrielle and said; " Would you like anything dear?"

" No thank you I'm fine."

Mrs. Menos hesitated a moment and said; " It may be none of my business but I want you to know my husband is an ass. I am so sorry he brought up what happened in Kahnia. It was not your friend's fault. That girl who ran the hospice loved her very much. She chose to die protecting her and the child."

" She did?"

" Yes the way I heard it she put up a hell of a fight. That man......what was his name."

"Roman." Gabrielle said softly.

" Yes that was it. Brutal man. He butchered the healer to set an example to the rest of the town. But no one told him where Xena was. After he murdered half the town he left. I guess he thought that leaving Xena's lover strung from a tree and most of her friend's dead was revenge enough. And he knew the people of Kahnia had too much integrity to ever tell. Better to leave witnesses. They were very brave. They refused to let Roman intimidate them into giving up Xena, and they refused to put an innocent child at risk. They stood up for what they believed in and it cost them their lives. Sometimes I think your friend got the worst of it. It's often harder for those who survive. Roman knew that."

" I think you're right," Gabrielle sighed, " That kind of guilt can be a heavy load to carry."

They both looked up at the approaching thunder of horse's hooves.

"Who could that be?" Mrs. Menos said. She and Gabrielle headed out the front door. They crossed the courtyard and went into the tavern. Kristo was at the bar.

" Mrs. Menos I think we have trouble outside. You better find Nikolai and get him to the house."

Gabrielle turned to Kristo; " Please go escort her and warn my friend. I'm going out to see what's going on." With staff in hand she headed out the door.

" Bunch of damn bullies," Kristo shook his head. " Come on Mrs. Menos let's go find your boy."

Gabrielle walked outside to face five men who had just stepped down off their horses and were advancing on her.

" Well, well, well, what do we have here ?" The leader said facing a young girl standing in fighting stance with a large staff, " Look little girl if you don't want to get hurt tell us where Xena is."

Xena reached the top of the stairs and headed into the child's room. Kyra's room faced the back of the inn. From her window Xena could see out to a back yard that stood on the edge of a wood. Xena looked down on the bed and saw the little girl lying under a sheet looking up at her with solemn brown eyes.

" Hi Kyra how are you feeling?"

" Mmmm....better, but it's still hot in here."

Xena smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. She lifted the sheet off, " How 'bout we get a look at that leg."

"Okay." The little girl said.

Xena took a quick look without touching it. Amazingly it seemed a bit better. No longer so red or puffy.

" Well I think your gonna make it." Suddenly she heard hoof beats out back. A voice yelled up " Come out Xena there's nowhere left to run." Someone threw a torch through the window. The child screamed. The bedroom window blew inward. Fire streamed across the floor. The wall caught quickly and the flames were hungry.

" Okay Kyra I want you to grab round my neck and hold on tight. Whatever you do keep your eyes closed. I'll take care of you."

Through her tears the little girl said; "Promise?"

" I promise."

" I hate being called that," Gabrielle said. " Don't let the skirt fool ya boys, I think you bit off more than you can chew." The men advanced on her, one in the lead and four in the back in a pyramid pattern. Gabrielle dropped to one knee and swung her staff tight and hard.

She connected solidly with the first man's knee knocking him flat. She heard a loud crack that meant she probably broke it. She jumped back to her feet.

" Who else wants some?"

There was a collective roar from the remaining attackers as they rushed her. She snapped her staff up and to the right catching two men in the face and knocking them down. Blood and teeth flew in a red spray everywhere. Of the two remaining men one drew a sword. He decided it was time to quit screwing around and slice her up like dinner. Gabrielle danced around him still in fighting stance. She was mindful of the last man, who for now was hanging back. No one else was getting up. The man with the sword jabbed at her midsection, Gabrielle took a step back avoiding the sword and hit him hard in the back with a crack of her staff, causing him to drop his sword.

Using the momentum of the first hit she reversed direction and her stance and hit him in the groin with the other end of her staff. She than swung her staff over her head turned and toppled the last man.

" Not bad, " She said to herself. There was whistling in the air over her head. She looked up to see someone doing a suspiciously familiar flip over her head. She was momentarily stunned. She had only seen one other person do this. She recovered just in time to feel a boot connect with the back of her head. A black veil descended over everything.

Xena grabbed the little girl. Kyra ducked her head into Xena's shoulder and shut her eyes.

" Okay kiddo, hang on tight. " With that Xena took two running steps and flipped out the window landing in the yard. When she landed she drew her sword. Marcos was the first to run up on her. She swung her sword and decapitated him with one stroke. Reversing her grip she jabbed the sword backward and ran through a man attacking from the rear. She turned full circle and put her foot on the man's chest. Simultaneously she pushed him and drew her sword out of his chest. She looked over and saw a huge Turk bashing the heads of the last two mercenaries together.

She walked up to him still holding Kyra in one arm," Thanks, Who are you?"

He shook her hand after she had sheathed her sword; " Kristo, I work for Mr. Menos."

" Kristo can you take Kyra in to her mother I have to find Gabrielle. I have to make sure she's okay."

"Good Idea. When I left her she was taking on a few guys that attacked the tavern. I brought Mrs. Menos back to safety. I saw you in trouble and decided to help."

This worried Xena. She wished he had gone back to help Gabrielle instead. She tried to comfort herself by thinking how resourceful Gabrielle had become; still she had a bad feeling.

Kyra giggled and looked up from the crook of Xena's shoulder," Hi Kristo."

" Hello darling, let's get you back to your momma, " He said. As Xena handed him the girl, he said: " I'll come help just as soon as I see the lady home."

"Thank you."

When Gabrielle woke the first time her head hurt so bad that just turning it knocked her back out again. Some time later she woke again. This time the pain had eased. Hades, she thought to herself; I thought the days of Xena rescuing me were over. How stupid to let myself get taken. She sat up and surveyed her surroundings. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the dark. When they did she saw she was in a deep dungeon. The only light came from a grate in the ceiling. The grate was about fifteen feet above her head and there were bars. From what she could see there was a hinge on one end. She assumed it flipped up to open to the outside. She got to her feet and paced angrily. What now? She thought to herself. I can't wait around for Xena she might be in trouble. She laughed at herself. The thought of Xena in trouble was a bit farfetched. Okay still I can't wait around here helplessly. As she paced she began to notice what looked like human bones scattered all over the floor. Great, I guess I'm not the first to be left here to die. Well now I really have to find a way out of here. Suddenly an idea came to her. She walked around looking for the biggest bone she could find. When she found it looked a bit like a leg bone to her. Good, she thought it's the longest strongest bone, it ought to work. She removed her top, which was a cropped tank top. She tied one end to the bone. She walked back as far as she could. Okay I hope I practiced this flip enough times. She got a good running start and right foot first she jumped into the air executing a perfect flip that brought her within a foot of the grate. Mid flip she extended her right arm out. Her right arm held the shirt with the bone attached. The bone flipped up through the bars and stuck. Gabrielle found herself hanging fifteen feet above the ground suspended by a bone and a shirt. Great now what do I do?

Xena walked around to the front of the tavern she was getting more worried by the minute. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled for Gabrielle. When she got no answer she stomped her foot in frustration. I have to stay focused or I'll never find her. Where could she be? Just than Kristo walked up.

" Mrs. Menos and the kids are okay. Did you find Gabrielle?"

"No, she's nowhere to be found."

" Who would want to attack you? Do you have any enemies here?

" I've been racking my brain trying to think. I haven't lived here in over ten years. And it wasn't here it was about a hundred miles away by the sea."

" Did you piss anyone off?"

" No I worked at a hospice. It was one of the times in my life I was actually kind of peaceful. I did have a friend whose in laws hated me."

" I wonder if that has anything to do with that stranger whose been lurking around asking questions about you?"

" What stranger? Where is he? Can we talk to him?"

" Unfortunately no. You decapitated him." Kristo said

"Son of a Bacchae. Okay what do you know about him?"

" Well he was talking to Mr. Menos and they struck some kind of deal that I think brought the attackers here."

" That little weasel. I knew not to trust him."

" Well I can't disagree with that. I bet if we find him you can persuade him to give up some information. He's a grade a coward."

"Oh I think he'll tell us everything." Xena said through gritted teeth.

Mr. Menos had been hiding out in the back of the tavern. He figured there was no need for him to get involved. When the fight was over he would go back to the warrior's castle and collect his reward. He had a general idea where it was from Marcos. When he heard the commotion die down he snuck out the back door. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Well," said Xena. " Just where do you think you're sneaking off to?"

Gabrielle hung high above the ground. She decided to swing her legs out. She figured if she could get enough momentum going she could kick the grate off and flip herself up and out of the dungeon. She just hoped it wasn't locked. She swung her legs hard and kicked the grate off. All right, not locked. The force propelled her out onto the floor of a long hallway. No one seemed to be around.

She untied the bone and dropped it back into the dungeon. Gabrielle fastened her top back on and quickly laced the front up. Now let's find out who took me, and where my damn staff is.

Xena turned Mr. Menos around hard to face her. With a lightning fast movement of her fingers she hit both sides of his neck.

" I just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You have thirty seconds to live unless you tell me where Gabrielle is."

" Oh wow," Kristo said. " That's the pinch. I never thought I'd get to see it. I heard all about it."

" Oh thanks," Xena said turning to him with a rather proud grin. " It takes practice, but if you do it just right thirty seconds is all they get."

" Excuse me, " Mr. Menos croaked. " I think about fifteen of my thirty seconds are up." Blood ran from his nose, " I'll tell you everything please just take the pinch off."

" Okay," Xena said. With a swift movement of her fingers she took it off.

"Where is she?"

" I think she's with Marcos. He his boss was very interested in you and your friend. She said your friend might give her some advantage."

" Who is her boss?"

" I've never seen her before, but I think I know where she is. I can tell you."

" Start talking."

Gabrielle headed down the long hall. It was lit intermittently lit by torches. There has got to be a way out of here Gabrielle thought. She tried several of the doors along the hallway with no luck they were all locked. Gabrielle continued down the hall. It finally opened up to a large dining room. She could see a doorway across the room. She started to advance toward it when she heard a voice.

" So your Xena's friend. About time we met."

Gabrielle turned slowly to face a dark haired woman warrior.

" Who are you?"

" Just someone your girlfriend knew along time ago. I have followed her exploits for the past four years. I guess she's turned into a real hero on the backs of thousands. Must be nice to wake up one day reformed, instead of a bloodthirsty killer. I tried in vain to find her. I was always just a day too late to catch up. But now I have found her and I have her friend." The woman said.

Xena and Kristo passed through the end of a wood and approached a large castle.

" Well I think this is it.'" Kristo said He noticed the castle had been built on the ruins of an old burnt out town.

" Yeah," Xena said. " And it's well guarded."

" I think we can handle them." Kristo said with a grin.

Xena unsheathed her sword and moved forward.

" Hey you can't come in here." One of the guards said.

"Says who?" Xena replied.

The guard advanced on Xena, he pulled out his sword.

" Says me." He swung the sword.

Xena blocked it with hers and flipped it away. She dropped into fighting stance and gave him a hard sidekick to the chest. He stumbled back and another guard ran up to take his place. Xena hit him in the face with a cross punch and a front kick. That finished him off, by knocking him into the wall. The first guard stood up and had recovered his sword. He swung, Xena ducked and popped back up. She flipped backward kicking him in the face as she went over. He landed hard on his head. She looked up to see Kristo holding two guards in a headlock. Good man, she thought. Just than three more guards ran up. Xena knocked two down with a roundhouse kick and they flew head over heels. She was near the wall so she turned and ran up it. She flipped backward landing behind the third guard. She kicked high on to back of his head and knocked him down. Kristo came over, "Good job. You go find Gabrielle and I'll stand watch out here."

" Thank you." She said, briefly shaking his hand and heading inside.

" You devoted your life so far to finding Xena. So you could make her pay? For what?" Gabrielle asked.

"Do you know who she is? How much blood is on her hands?" The woman said

Gabrielle looked her right in the eye and said, "I know."

" Oh so you think she's changed? I don't buy that for a minute. She's played the peaceful role before. It got my mother killed. After she died Xena left me and went right back to her old ways. Like my mother and I never existed."

At that point Gabrielle figured out who the woman was. She simply said: "That may be true Brenna, but Xena didn't leave you by choice. You may have been changed, but your mother died not you. You still have your whole life ahead of you. No one, not even Xena can take that away."

" She made a choice all right, a choice to do nothing. She knew exactly what those people who raised me were like. She didn't even try to keep me. Since you know who I am I'll let you in on a little secret: Xena doesn't love anyone but Xena. You're no different. As soon as she's used you up, she'll leave you to. I'll spare you that pain by killing you."

She swung at Gabrielle with a right punch. Gabrielle caught her hand. She swung with her left fist in frustration. Gabrielle caught that hand too. She planted her left foot on Brenna's chest and flipped backward pulling Brenna over with her. She ended up on top of Brenna pinning her to the ground. Just than Xena walked in the room. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the girl Gabrielle had pinned.

" Brenna?" She said.

Gabrielle looked up. In that moment Brenna kicked up hard knocking her down. Before Xena could reach them Brenna had flipped Gabrielle around and pulled a dagger from her boot. Before Gabrielle knew what happened she had it to her throat.

"No," Xena cried out, stopping dead in her tracks. "This won't change anything. Believe me I know."

" Oh I think it will change everything. Some one has to pay for my mother. She never had anyone to defend her." Brenna said.

Gabrielle remained calm and very still." Your Mother didn't need anyone to defend her. She lived and died on her own terms," She said. " She died to protect you."

"Shut up. You didn't even know her." Brenna pulled the knife closer to her throat

" I don't need to," Gabrielle said. "I have known others who turned a bad life around. Anyway I don't think this is about her. I think it's about you, and how angry you are you were left alone."

" Your right." Brenna looked surprised at the words coming out of her mouth. They had finally gotten to the heart of things. " You don't know what it's like to have the family you want oh so briefly just to have it taken away. I can't change the past but I can make Xena hurt like I do. Like my mother did when she died." Brenna said.

" What will that accomplish? You'll still be alone. " Gabrielle said. She managed to get a hand on the arm that held her. She pushed hard and turned so she was facing Brenna. Before she could get completely away Brenna grabbed the back of her hair and pulled her back.

" Gabrielle, no." Xena took a step forward. The two women sat face to face as close as lovers. They stared intently at each other. Brenna was still holding the dagger on her

" Xena stay where you are," Gabrielle said, still looking Brenna in the eye. Xena took a step back in surprise, but decided to follow Gabrielle's lead. " So you're going to kill me just because you hurt. Do you think it will fill up that huge hole in your heart? Well it won't. Just ask Xena."

" It's true," Xena said. " I killed a lot of people trying to ease my pain. It didn't change a thing. I was still alive and I still hurt."

" There you have it," Gabrielle said. " The only answer is to go on. Go on living, loving, risking being hurt again. That's the hard part. No one can do it for you."

Brenna lowered the knife a bit. " You mean I just have to go on feeling like this? "

" Till you don't feel like that anymore." Xena said.

Brenna stood up still holding the knife she stared at it contemplatively; " Than why bother with any of it." With that she reversed the knife and plunged it into her throat.

"No." Xena and Gabrielle yelled in unison. Xena ran forward and caught Brenna's badly bleeding body. She cradled the child of her heart tenderly and closely. After awhile Gabrielle stood up and put her arms around Xena.

Gabrielle finished gathering the last of their things from the barn. As she came out Mrs. Menos and her son were standing outside.

" Well I guess this is goodbye." Gabrielle said

" We are truly sorry to see you go. Are you sure you won't stay?" Mrs. Menos said.

"Yeah, Xena isn't much for staying put. Will you be okay?"

" If your referring to my charming husband I have decided to take my own good advice, I threw him out this morning."

" Good for you, it's none of my business but I was a little worried."

" What about you two? You also deserve better," Mrs. Menos said.

" What do you mean?"

" Come on Gabrielle any one can see that your both tormenting yourselves for things that can never be changed, for things that were meant to be. It's time to let go and forgive yourselves." Mrs. Menos said as she leaned in and hugged Gabrielle fiercely.

" Were trying." Gabrielle said as she returned the hug.

Mrs. Menos pulled back a bit and looked Gabrielle in the eye; " Well at least you still have each other, no matter what else you've lost."

" Yeah, we do."

She turned to Nikolai. He stood waiting for her to get to him. The air around him was heavy with anticipation. He still couldn't quite understand what all this talk of responsibility and forgiveness was about; but he knew that his mother had something to give that Gabrielle needed. He was also aware that giving it healed a deep festering wound inside his mother, much like Xena healed the physical wound in his sister. He was deeply grateful to Xena and Gabrielle for both giving help and accepting it. For all his anticipation he was willing to wait an eternity to see them all healed.

Gabrielle walked away after finishing her goodbyes. She knew Mrs. Menos was right. She could begin to feel the weight lifting off her soul, like a huge boulder rolling away.

She could breathe again. She knew the feeling wouldn't completely go away until she made Xena understand. By now it felt like they were one person. If one was cut the other bled. They had been living underwater since Solan died and Gabrielle had finally pushed up to the surface. It was time to reach back and pull Xena up too.

She headed down to the beach to find Xena. When she got there Xena was sitting quietly at the base of a large rock. In front of her the funeral pyre burned like a small sun. The flames were yellow and red and there was thick black smoke being carried out to sea. The last of the day was dying away and the rays of the sun glinted gently off the ocean. Gabrielle walked over and waited for Xena to speak.

" This is where it all started. I figured this was where it should end." Xena said.

Gabrielle had deliberately stayed away. She had thought this was Xena's task alone. Now she wondered if all their tasks weren't somehow connected. She sat down next to Xena; " I guess this is as good a place as any to end it. Maybe now Brenna can be at peace."

" Too bad I couldn't give her that peace in life."

Gabrielle turned, lifting her leg over Xena's waist to straddle her lap. She settled in easily like she'd been there before. Green eyes bore into blue ones. Gabrielle put her arms on Xena's shoulders; " Xena you cannot be responsible for the whole world. Sometimes it's all we can do to get out of bed everyday and be responsible for ourselves."

"But it breaks my heart. I wasn't able to be the parent she so desperately needed. I loved her and she deserved better."

" That could be said for a lot of people. Life isn't always fair."

" That still doesn't absolve my responsibility to this child."

"You more than met your responsibility. Xena when she was a child you treated her like she was your own, partly because you loved her mother and partly because you loved her. Not everyone would do that. You wanted to keep her, but not being blood kin there was no way that was going to happen. You didn't mean to wash up on the shores of Kahina."

"If I hadn't her mother still could have raised her."

" Xena life is full of choices, and you're not the only one making them. Alanna chose to love you knowing full well who you were and what the risks were. Just like I did. She died to protect you and the child you both loved, just like I almost did."

"No Gabrielle...." Xena was cut off by Gabrielle's finger on her lips silencing her.

" Xena I would gladly do it again. That's what love is all about. It's the willingness to lay down your life to protect the person you love from harm. Alanna died knowing she was protecting the two things she loved most in the world. I can't think of a nobler way to go."

" Brenna bore the consequences of our choices. No child should be made to suffer their parent's mistakes. Especially when they have no choice in the matter."

" Many people suffer the consequences of others choices. Unfortunately suffering is part of life. But it can also be a catalyst for change and growth. Alanna knew that and she used it to build a hospice and help others. She never forgot what it was like to be alone and at someone else's mercy. She was able to use her experience to feel the deepest empathy for others. Brenna chose a path of vengeance and murder. She refused to face her mother's death, and she refused to see the person her mother really was."

Xena put her arms around Gabrielle's waist; " Thank you."

" For what?" Gabrielle said as she stroked Xena's cheek.

" For being you, for being here. For helping me to get through my life."

"Our life."

" What?"

" Our life. Were going to get through it together."

"Together," Xena paused and smiled. " Does this mean you can forgive yourself for Hope and Solan?"

" I'm starting to."

" Than that's the best we can do for now." Xena leaned in and kissed Gabrielle softly and slowly on the mouth. She tasted sweet, like one of those mangos they had bought at the fruit stand. When the kiss was over she whispered in her ear; " I love you Gabrielle."

" I love you too Xena."

THE END