Conquering Heroine

~ Conquering Heroine ~
by CN Winters and Amy

Disclaimers (and legal stuff): No, this isn't about someone overcoming a drug habit. Although I wish I could say Xena and Gabby are ours, they are not. They belong to MCA/Universal last we heard. This story however is ours and ours alone. There's a lot of violence but not too graphic. Alt sex, you bet! If you are too young, read no further. If you live some place where this may not be kosher, read no further. However, if you are open-minded, old enough and live in a progressive neighborhood . . .enjoy! Nothing poetic is our's, belongs to unknown author. Thanks to Kamouraskan, Jlynn, Mary and the Bardic Circle for the beta. Email the author's at CNWinters@hotmail.com or MurphyCG881@aol.com

Conquering Heroine

Chapter 6

I sat in the banquet hall a few feet from the Conqueror's table occupied by her consort and her Regent. The morning meal was brought in to us and I could see the Amazons whispering conspiratorially just as they always did with small chuckles here and there.

Solari sat next to Ephiny and both women looked extremely happy, feeding each other from time to time. Najara for her part looked cold. Not a word between she and Gabrielle was exchanged. I listened close to try to hear the conversation between ruler and Regent, especially after Najara excused herself. Even more so when I saw Gabrielle and Ephiny both look in my direction.

"She's okay," I heard Ephiny remark.

"Okay? Just okay?" Gabrielle replied.

"Well as far as I'm concerned I already have the most beautiful woman in the known world on my arm." Solari smiled and slipped a grape into Ephiny's mouth, letting her finger linger. "Are you considering trading Consorts my queen?"

"No, I . . . I love Najara," Gabrielle answered.

"Najara is a beautiful woman - no doubt. But she doesn't have those killer blue eyes of the new protector. Najara never looked that damn good in the dress we saw last night either."

"Are you saying it's lust? What if I were in love with both of them?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You're my Regent - advise me."

"You're the ruler of the world, Gabrielle. I think it's your call. Behead Najara or just shack up with the new warrior. It's your choice."

"Thanks friend."

Ephiny chuckled. "Ahh... now as your friend, I'd tell you to keep the bondmate but fool around on the side with tall, dark and deadly."

Gabrielle chuckled. And that answer got a playful slap from Solari who joined the conversation. "Should I be worried while I've been away?"

Gabrielle immediately answered starting to rise. "Oh no Solari. Trust me. There's not a more pussy whipped woman in this kingdom than Ephiny."

"Heyyy," Ephiny whinnied in protest as her bond-mate laughed.

"Just telling it like it is Eph'."

Gabrielle locked eyes with me and I quickly went back to eating my goose eggs. I tried at least until I felt her at my side. Quickly I stood up and bowed respectfully to her.

"My Conqueror," I nodded. "How may I be of service?"

"I need to spar. After your meal make sure to join me on the practice field."

"Yes, my Conqueror." I nodded again. As she left, I wondered silently if she'd take Ephiny's advice.

As I made my way to the practice field, the eggs I had eaten seemed like boulders in my quivering stomach. I had to wonder if the Conqueror would be impressed if I lost my breakfast on her boots.

"Hello Xena." I jumped slightly at the voice, too distracted to notice I was being followed. I turned to see Callisto leaning against the stone wall.

"Nice bruise," I taunted.

She had a great shiner on her face where my fist met it last night. I had to smile.

"Yes it is. I'll return the favor soon." She smirked "I've been watching you lately and you know what I've seen?"

I just raised an eyebrow.

"You drooling over the conqueror. How pathetic you are, or so I thought." She walked closer to me and tapped her finger to her chin. "I was wracking my brains wondering why a person from Amphipolis would go out of their way to kiss that bitch's ass, especially when she torched their whole village." She looked at me closer.

"Then is occurred to me, the reason why you want so badly in her britches is because she'll be more vulnerable to kill." She squealed and clapped. "Bravo, hitting the Conqueror right in the libido."

I got right in her face. "Let me tell you something. The Conqueror's men were responsible for razing both of our villages and the Conqueror handled those men. And if you think for an instant I'll let any harm come to her, you'll have a short life span. Got me?" I towered over the crazed blonde.

"Do you believe after the Conqueror's history, she really had no idea? If you do, you're a fool."

We were close to trading blows.

"Is there a problem here?" We jumped at her voice. We both looked and saw very cold, green eyes.

She was dressed in a white shirt with black pants. Two swords strapped to her hips. She was very impressive, though it was obvious she was not happy with either Callisto or myself.

"Do I have to make you two children stand in separate corners?" She circled us both. My eyes focused back on Callisto. You could tell by the way she was twitching she wanted to strike Gabrielle.

"No, my Lord." We said in unison.

"Good. Now isn't there some place you need to be Callisto?"

The glare Callisto gave Gabrielle was deadly. "Yes, I do Lord Conqueror," she said through clenched teeth, looking at me once more.

"Then I suggest you go." Gabrielle got in her face. I was ready for anything, but Callisto wisely bowed and turned to leave. I could still pick up her saying, "Your time is coming to an end."

I wonder if she meant mine or Gabrielle's? As I considered it, I was sure she was convinced to destroy both of us.

"Ready to spar warrior?"

I nodded letting her lead the way.

The field was set up for sparring. There were staves, chobos, and a variety of swords to choose from. I watched as she began to stretch and do a few defensive moves.

"Choose your weapon, Xena." I completed a couple stretches of my own walking towards the weapons. I grabbed a staff, throwing one towards her, and she snatched it smirking at me.

Then my chin nearly hit the dirt as she started a few staff drills. She was moving so fast, I couldn't see the damn wood. It was a blur. I was even more aware that this wasn't my Gabrielle; this was a lethal warrior.

We stood opposite from each other, until she bowed her head in signal for me to start. And start I did, not holding back in the least. She blocked each blow and kick I had to offer, then it was her turn to attack.

I was tiring, struggling to hold onto the piece of wood that was stung each time she struck it. My advantage was my height and power, she had speed with perfect center of gravity.

In a sick strange way, I found this arousing. Our movements were like a warrior's poetry, a perfect dance.

I was able to get a roundhouse kick to the side of her face and that pissed her off. When I looked into her eyes. I froze. The look she had made me shudder.

'Is this what I look like when the beast is free?' I had to wonder as she struck her staff into mine, shattering it. That threw me off balance and left my middle open to her kick. As I doubled over she brought her knee up to my face. I landed in a painful thud on my back.

She landed on top of me, snarling. I found my heart pounding, I was...scared but extremely turned on. I closed my eyes waiting for her next move, but nothing happened.

I opened them slightly, she was breathing hard. She then leaned over and gave me a kiss that melted me down to the bottom of my boots.

"If you love me as you say, warrior," she paused to catch her breath, "meet me by the southern gates tonight. I have a place to show you." She gave me one more kiss then got off of me.

As she walked away she turned. "Thanks for the best sparring I've had in ages." Then she was gone while I was still flat on my back.

'By the Gods, I'll never survive this.' My mind told me. I laid there, letting my brain catch up with my now aching body, when I heard chuckling.

Making their way towards me was Ephiny and her mate. "Sparred with staffs, huh?"

I sat up cracking my neck into place. "Yeah, how did you know." I groaned as I got up and the both laughed at me more.

"Because we all land like that after she kicks our asses with the staff." She and Solari laughed harder.

"Next time warn me, will ya?" I growled at them as me and my damaged warrior's pride limped off the field.

"Hey warrior!"

I recognized it as Ephiny's voice and turned around to face her. She and Solari close the distance between us. "I gotta say . . . You've lasted longer than anyone yet. I respect that. I think the conqueror might have met her match."

"Hopefully in more ways than one," I tell her with a slight grin before beginning my departure again.

XXXXX

My 'wounds' from earlier in the day were healed as I stood at the south gate with an over inquisitive guard. He was beginning to annoy me and I wondered how much longer I could manage to wait for Gabrielle's arrival.

"So where will you be going?" he asked.

"I don't know, and even if I did, being part of the royal guard, I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you."

He began to chuckle. I didn't. And soon that chuckle became a nervous cough.

He knew I was very serious. I would kill him in a heartbeat to protect Gabrielle. When he finally shut up for a moment, my mind went back to the kiss of earlier in that day, as well as the ass kicking I had gotten. I had to admit; it was quite stimulating to see Gabrielle in action like that. I can only imagine what the battle lust would feel like if we ever had to engage anyone side by side in combat. I'm sure I'd spontaneously combust from the magnitude of it.

At that moment, Gabrielle approached on horseback and reached out for me as the gates opened.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"No questions," was the short retort.

I did as I was commanded and climbed behind her.

We left the safety of the city and traveled for what seemed like candle marks out of the kingdom's light, where the only thing we saw were the shadows of a few trees and the star light in the full moon's sky.

Soon we were by a river. One I knew very well. My Gabrielle always loved to stop here and make camp when we were in the area. I was a bit surprised to see that things hadn't changed.

"It's lovely here," I told her.

She seems to avoid the comment and threw her leg over the horse's head and hopped down. "Grab the saddlebags."

I paused a moment. The sharpness of her words reminded me yet again that this was not my Gabrielle. Not wanting her to get out of sorts, I didn't dwell on it long. I pulled the saddlebags off as requested once I hopped down. She was sitting by the shore looking out at the water as I made my way over. She reached out and I handed her the bags as she moved to her feet.

I watched her reach inside and pull out a set of shackles. Those quick reflexes of hers returned and she fastened one on my hand while tossing the other one through the tree. On pure instinct I reached out and grabbed her by the throat to stop her but she used the opportunity to shackle my other wrist.

Son of a bitch.

She caught me.

And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

She pulled away with a devilish laugh. She reached between her cleavage and pulled out a breast dagger, running it down my cheek and to my throat. I didn't move. I didn't even breathe.

"You said you loved me," she began. "And at the first opportunity you tried to strangle me?"

Oh shit. This is gonna take some explaining.

"It was a reaction. I thought you were going to try to kill me, my Conqueror."

"Although that wasn't my intention in bringing you out here . . . I just might."

"Honestly, Gabrielle." I felt the point of the knife press deeper into my throat at the use of her given name and quickly made up for it. "My Conqueror. Honest. I thought you brought me here to kill me."

"Then why come at all?"

"It wasn't until you shackled me, my Conqueror."

"Then why did you originally agree to come here?"

"You asked."

"That's it? I asked so you came?" She paused and put the knife back in her cleavage and I gave a sigh of relief but tried not to make it sound too loud. "Did you think I offered you the chance to steal away from the castle so we could spar some more?"

I saw where she was going. She wanted me to tell her why. She knew why already. I desired her beyond words. But she wanted to hear me say it.

"No, my Conqueror."

"Then tell me why."

"Because you are the sexist thing the gods ever put on this earth and I'd forfeit my life for one night with you."

"You wouldn't be the first," she said casually, taking the sword off her back and letting it fall to the ground.

"But I hope to be the last."

Gabrielle gave a chuckle. "Yes well . . . Najara hoped to be the last. Turns out she was wrong."

Her lips seized mine and she pushed me against the rough tree bark. Her tongue broke through my lips and when I tried to return the gesture she pulled back and slapped me so hard my face stung.

"I kiss you. You don't kiss me. Understand?"

I would have rubbed my cheek to ease the pain if I could have, but I couldn't reach it. My hands were suspended too high above me. I could only give a nod, which she accepted. With that she stepped back and I watched as her armor and battledress fell to the ground. She's scarred in places I didn't recognize and I silently wondered what story each scar tells. I would have like to reach out and touch each one, memorizing the feel of her body. But despite the battle riddled body, there was a hunger there. Perhaps more now than ever and she could sense it.

"What you expected?"

The question almost went unanswered in my admiration of Gabrielle.

"No, my Conqueror - far more tantalizing. If you release me-."

"You might kill me. And I want to enjoy one evening with you before I die."

She returned and in a few minutes my armor was stripped away and britches pulled to my ankles. She stayed on her knees and pulled up my skirt. She studied me closely and licked her lips and I could feel myself grow wetter in response. My legs seemed to unconsciously part.

"I wouldn't kill you."

"This from a woman who just tried to choke me to death," she chuckled as she rubbed her hands up my legs, tantalizing me even further.

"Oh gods please," I found myself whispering and pulling on the shackles.

Gabrielle chuckled again at my reaction. "Be honest. You don't really want me to let you go. You love this." I watched her rise to her full height, her fingers immediately finding my soaked center. "Oh, you really love this. Not many people have bested you Xena, and you love the feel of it don't you? I know you do because we're very much alike. No one has lasted that long on the practice field against me. And I must admit it excited me to no end. Almost as much as your excitement now."

That's it. I'm gonna die. Strung up in a tree and dripping wet. Her fingers toyed with me, brushing past the nub that desperately needed attention. I groaned my frustration.

"Are we having fun yet, Xena?"

"I want to taste you."

The words just spilled naturally from my mouth and she chuckled again. "Where's the warrior focus I've seen you display so often, um?"

"All I can focus on is your hand, my Conqueror."

"You want the Conqueror to take you, do you?"

"Yes."

"Hard?"

"Yes."

"Fast?"

"Gods yes, please, Gabrielle."

I was so aroused at that point I didn't care what she might think or do. I grabbed the chains of the shackles and pulled myself up. My legs snaked out and grabbed her around the waist. I tried desperately to grind my sex into her hip. At first I saw anger in her eyes but I didn't care. I wanted her. I wanted her so badly I could taste it. A moment later however, she realized I was not a threat. I made no attempt to escape from her. In fact, I wanted her closer and I watched as desire glazed over in her own eyes.

She didn't remove me. Instead her hand came up and I felt three fingers plunge inside while her thumb found the nub aching for release.

"You like it hard and fast, huh warrior?"

All I could do was grunt out my approval. She was so warm and I was sure by the look in her eye she was totally wet too.

"Come on," she whispered as she got quicker. I watched her pause for a moment to pull her drenched finger out to suck on.

"Oh gods, please, Gabrielle."

"Conqueror! YOU are my guard. I OWN you. Body and soul."

"Yes."

"Say it!"

"You own me. You own me. Do what you want with me."

She pulled out the breast dagger and held it to my throat again as her fingers went back to their earlier task.

"What if I wanted to kill you, huh?"

"Kill me, but let me come first."

I meant ever word. It didn't matter if I died in the end, as long as she took me over the top. I heard her chuckle.

"I believe you want it that bad."

"I want it. Please I'm begging. Don't . . . deny . . . me."

My passion overrode my ability to form words.

"Alright warrior. I'll give you what you want. I'll give it to you. Hard and fast. Hard and fast."

Gabrielle voice echoed over and over. Her breathing was strained as well, and I felt myself slipping over the edge as my release gripped me. My hips shook and I howled out in my passion. Spent, she let my legs fall to the ground and I could barely stand. My arms were sore and my hands seemed to be locked around the chains. It was difficult to move my fingers, but I managed to let go.

She pulled away, licking her fingers and my arousal was renewed. I was not nearly as spent as I first thought. Suddenly, I couldn't help myself and the words slipped past my lips.

"Gods, I love you, Gabrielle."

She looked at me with bit of indifference. "You're a decent lay."

Carelessly, she turned her back to me. My head dropped. This wasn't want I wanted. I wanted to make love to her. In truth, I wanted her to love me. I realized in that instant. All we did was fuck and I felt shallow and hollow inside. She turned back to face me. My emotions must have been written on my face. Or maybe this Gabrielle, like the old one, could tell my moods.

Casually she walked up and unlocked the shackles. "Should I lie?" I didn't answer her and she continued. "I could appease you. I could tell you I love you too. That you're everything to me. I could, if that's what you'd like, Xena."

"I don't want you to appease me, my Conqueror. I realize my place."

Maybe if I turned the tables. Maybe I could get a reaction that way.

"And what place is that?"

"I'm nothing more than a royal guard. Here to serve you in anyway you see fit. As you said, you own me body and soul . . . I realize my place."

She looked . . . saddened? It was a new emotion - one I hadn't seen from this new Gabrielle. The desire to retract my words was strong but perhaps this was the push she needed. I said nothing. But neither did she and I knew one of us should speak.

"Speaking as your guard, we should return you soon. I'm sure your consort will be wondering where you are."

I handed her the shackles before I went to retrieve her clothing and her armor. I helped dress her in silence. I then handed her the sword, which she returned to her back. Only then did I reach for my own armor. She moved to help, but I respectfully declined.

"With all due respect, my Conqueror. You should not be doing a menial task like helping your guard with their armor. Thank you for the offer, but you are above such duties."

She was speechless. Wordless, she walked away and climbed upon the horse. Once I was set, I joined her, taking my place behind her. I realized I was spreading it on a bit thick and she might not return to me, so I gave her the option.

"Remember, my Conqueror - I am always available to serve you . . . day or night."

"I'll remember Xena . . . and so should you."

"As you wish."

There was no need for further words . . . We traveled in silence for about a league when she brought her mare to a stop. We both heard it.

"Do you-"

"Yes, two men talking back in the woods," I whispered. "They sound-"

"Roman," she answered. "Let's check it out."

Chapter 7

The idea of being around Romans made my skin crawl as we got closer to the voices.

Pompey and Brutus, I knew those voices all too well.

"Hello boys," the Conqueror greeted the surprised men. A ring of ten of them stood up as Gabrielle and I dismounted. I had my sword hand ready at my side, as did Gabrielle. Both men turned and gave a Roman salute to her.

"Drop your arms, fellas. No need to hail Caesar in these woods. Besides, I'm not Roman - and I never will be."

Pompey acted as if he was going to say something but stopped himself. Finally he did manage the courage to speak. "Conqueror, what brings you out on a night like this? We were camping for the night, planning to pay you a visit at first light." Pompey said with that smug grin I despised.

Gabrielle laughed heartily making all the Romans jump at the sound. "You were going to pay me a visit where you? How sweet." The smiling expression fell in an instant. "State your business, Pompous." He lost his smile and I bit my lip. "Romans do not belong on this soil, especially uninvited ones," she growled and I could see her jaw clinch.

Pompey put a hand under his chest armor and reflexively I put my hand on my chakram prepared for anything. Even after he pulled out a scroll with a Roman seal on it, my hand continued to stay in place.

Gabrielle leaned over to grab it. "Let me guess?" She put the scroll to her head. "Caesar either wants to meet with me or no.... He has drawn out a treaty showing Rome's good intentions?"

That time I let a small snicker out.

"Whatever it is Pompous, I'm not interested. Unless this guarantees his head mounted on my main gate." She threw the scroll at Pompey's feet.

I swear you could see the veins sticking out of his neck. He was ready to implode in his anger. I had to smile.

Gabrielle mounted the horse so we could leave and I followed suit. "Give old 'divide and conquer' a message from me." She looked at Brutus. "He steps one sandal on Greece soil and I will send my legions to mop the area with Rome's blood." Her voice was so deep and deadly, it made us all swallow the lumps in our throats. Inside she was still the poetic bard but with a much different agenda.

"Yaw!!" She kneed the horse into a gallop. "Hope you're ready for a great battle, Xena," she yelled over her shoulder. I held onto her tighter.

We both stayed quiet for the rest of the ride back to the palace, heavy in thought.

My mind kept going back to when I first had a run in with Caesar. I was so naive and he used that against me. Gabrielle had handled that much better then the old Xena would have. I would've read that scroll, and probably fallen into whatever trap he had made like I did when I was young.

I found myself rubbing one of my legs in remembrance.

"Problems?"

"Ahh..no, no. Just thinking." Her eyes moved forward once more.

"Care to share?"

Was she actually asking my opinion? Was she actually beginning a conversation?

"You're not going to trust Caesar, are you?" Gabrielle began to laugh so hard I had to steady her on the horse. I too began to chuckle. "I'll take that as a no."

Gabrielle gave a sigh. "Oh Xena. I must admit you do amuse me at times, whether intentional or not."

From what happened earlier in the woods. That was obvious. But I didn't speak the words out loud.

"For the record, no. I don't trust Caesar. There's only one reason those men are that close. They're casing us . . . But what I'd like to know is HOW did they get so close?" Gabrielle pauses a moment. "I can assure you - heads will roll and not just Roman heads."

"I hope your Regent isn't one of them."

"Why do you say that?"

"I like her." Gabrielle turned back to look at me and I could have sworn I saw a touch of jealousy in her eyes. I felt the need to explain further. "I mean I admire her as a warrior and a person. After you left from our sparing session we spoke briefly. She seems like a good person."

Gabrielle was quiet for a long moment. "She's the only one I truly trust." It came out just above a whisper and I had to admit I was relieved to learn the ax wouldn't fall on her. But I was also speechless by the fact that Gabrielle had confessed something to me. If she trusted Ephiny and I could win Ephiny's trust then . . .

All too quickly we were approaching the southern gate to find Ephiny waiting for us.

"Conqueror, there are reports of Romans close by."

We trotted up and dismounted. "I know. We had a run in with two of Caesar lackeys and a few of their cronies. They were even nice enough to send me a scroll I didn't bother to read." Gabrielle chuckled and tapped me lightly in the stomach. "You know us poor women, we're so easy to fool with empty promises." Gabrielle and her Regent laughed, as I mustered a smile.

The stable man took our horse and we all made our way into the palace. I could see Gabrielle's mind working. "Ready my legions for battle and send word to Queen Melosa. With Romans walking about, you know they will try to round up slaves. I want our sisters safe."

"Word has already been sent. Solari personally saw to it."

Gabrielle stopped and a look of true compassion crossed her face as she turned to Ephiny. "I'm sorry your visit was cut short."

"It needed to be done," Ephiny nodded. "No sorrows."

"Well, after this is over I'll have Melosa release her for a months holiday, if that's alright with you."

Ephiny looked about as shocked as I did. Gabrielle reached out and tipped up Ephiny's chin. "Be careful, Regent, or you might start catching flies."

Ephiny gave me a look of disbelief and I just shrugged. Gabrielle began to walk again and quickly Ephiny and I race to catch up.

"Send another team out to Amazonia. Be sure the Amazons inform the Centaurs in case we need them as back up. Also be certain that a message is sent to Chin to alert them. I want Lao Ma to bring a portion of her troops here as a precaution to the east. Understood?"

The mention of Lao Ma sent a shiver up my spine. If she comes, she might blow my cover. But then again perhaps I never existed in her eyes either. But I know she has the 'sight' - an ability to see things others can't. Would I be one of those people she reads? And if so would it upset the balance I'm trying so hard to maintain?

Ephiny nodded formerly. "It will be done. Word is, she was arriving this week personally to see you anyway."

"With luck perhaps she's brought black powder with her." Gabrielle then turned her attention to me. "Next we move into phase two of battle, Caesar has his troops on their way here. I'm sure of it. So make sure the outposts on all side are alert and battle ready. I want shifts to be every four candle marks to keep the men fresh."

I listened to the plans Gabrielle had given. She seemed to know how Caesar worked all too well. To my surprise, I felt jealousy brew in my soul. Borias' voice rang in my head.

"I understand your anger with her, Cyane. But Xena's not like you and me. She thinks with her will-- not her reason. You must have warriors in your camp with the same weakness."

That was the one great downfall of my youth; I leapt, and then looked. Ares was right, she did think and never underestimated a task. Gabrielle was the person I dreamed of being, back in those cold dark days.

"Are you listening, Xena?" I was brought out of my musing and stared into angry green eyes and a missing Regent.

"Yes, Gabrielle." Her eyes turned icier, but I didn't care. Right now all I was feeling was defeat.

"Alert the troops then get some rest warrior, we have a busy day tomorrow. And night. " She kissed me, but I just couldn't kiss her back. I couldn't be her toy.

For a spilt second as she pulled away, I saw regret in her eyes. Then her mask went back into place. She left me without another word.

I stood there and felt as though I had no air to left breathe. I slammed my fist into the wall feeling like a trapped animal once more. A flash appeared from behind me. 'Great, just great, this is all I need.'

"Speak fast, Ares." I turned to see his smirking face.

"She's a good fuck, eh?"

I lost it and kicked him in the face this time, and the bastard couldn't stop me. He fell backwards and I landed on him.

"Face the facts, Xena You can't win her back. Your ploy to get into her breeches blew up in your face." I loosened my grip and found our positions quickly reversed. "Come on, Xena! Even you can see she's a superior warrior. She's far better then you ever were - she thinks things through. She had those shackles in mind and what to do the second she invited you to her haunt." He smiled. "What were you thinking? Hmm? Something about making love?" He got off me, and stood up. "Can you honestly tell me her dark side didn't turn you on? Just sparring against her had you all wet. And I must admit I can relate. When she and I spar - SWEET MOTHER OF ZEUS! Face it Xena - you've lost." He laughed as he disappeared, leaving me in my numb state on the floor.

I finally made it back to my barrack, unsure of how I had even gotten there. I was too lost in my thoughts. I collapsed in my bed and wept; no longer able to hide my emotions. My mind took me back to times with my Gabrielle.

"It's over-- or is it? Xena? Do you ever? Do you get the feeling that sometimes-- nothing is really over? You know, it just-- keeps coming back around, but it's-- it's wearing a different face. It's-- it's the same underneath. Do you know what I mean?"

"Sure. I was trapped in a cycle of violence and hatred. And no matter how I tried to break free, something always pulled me back-- until you."

"Xena-- "

"No, it's true. You talk about trying to find your way, but to me, you are my way."

"How can I be your way, when I-- I'm lost, myself?"

"I'm searching for answers, too. But how we look for them doesn't matter-- as long as we look for them together-- you and me."

I just got her back after watching her fall into that forsaken pit. Then I remembered the last time Ares tried to win Gabrielle from me.

"You have to like her style-- the focus-- the intensity-- the ability to learn and adapt. She is just-- incredible. I can't believe I took her for granted for so long."

"You're just using Mavican to get to me, Ares. It won't work. Why don't you give up on me?"

"Xena-- I have given up on you. And what makes you think I was talkin' about Mavican?"

"This is about Gabrielle. You're not testing Mavican. You're after Gabrielle."

"You're not jealous? I mean, despite what Mavican thought, I have been thinking about your heir. And who better-- than one you trained?"

"You leave her out of this."

"Arrogance! There's the fire-- there's the anger you lost Xena."

"She'll never follow you."

"Well, she hasn't heard my offer yet. And, anyway-- how well do you really know her, anymore? Well, I guess we'll find out-- when she kills Mavican."

Gods, this time Ares found the perfect way to get her. I should have known he would never stop until he had her. I turned on my side and clutched my head. I saw another flash in my room, but I was too tired to bother to look.

"Ah, you poor warrior babe." Dite sat by me and put a hand on my head.

I still said nothing. A moment passed and she spoke again.

"Listen, Xena. Ares is only out to throw you off the track. He hasn't won. As long as you stay alive he knows there's always the chance you can win Gabrielle's heart. He knows that." I took a deep breath and looked at her. Sometimes Aphrodite can be the smartest God in the lot.

"We both know what you and the mean bard did tonight wasn't love. It was lust - plan and simple. Be honest. Didn't you want that to happen? To be taken by the Conqueror? She was only giving you what she thought you wanted." I closed my eyes.

"I'll admit, thinking of her battle lust was arousing to me."

"You need to show Gabby you want her heart, and not some bondage fuck. Don't get me wrong. At times a little 'yes mistress' it can be fun. But how can Gabrielle love, when she's never known it Xena?"

"I'm not sure if I'm capable of teaching love."

"Don't sell yourself short, warrior. There's a lot of love in there," she said, tapping my breastplate. "What would you give for her? What would you sacrifice? Would you risk all like she's done in times past?"

"Without question."

Dite smiled at me. "She's scared of you. You're making her feel things she has never felt before. That's making her more defensive. So take your time and use your heart. Show her the love that you have for her�Love's the key, toots - always is and always will be." She bubbled up and I couldn't help it, I smiled at this. She stood to leave and I grabbed her hand.

"Thank you." I felt better now, sorta. Something in my soul told me there was more to it then just love. Ares is not that foolish to make it that easy�but then again.

"I know Ares really bummed you out but like I said . . . He's the same old loser. He just wants to convince you that you can't win." She looked up for a second. "For the record, Gabby is pacing her room right now, but it's not the Romans that have her nerves on edge." She winked conspiratorially. "Get some rest, tall dark and deadly, and don't let big bro get you down." She gave me a peck on the cheek and flashed out. As a result I felt sleep claim me with thoughts of Gabrielle.

'I love you, my bard.'
XXXXX

I'm not sure how much time had passed after I woke back up. But the sound of knocking on the chamber doors pulled me from my bed. I opened the door to find Ephiny rapping on the guard's doors, making each of us rise. My sword was on my back before she came to my room.

"What's going on?"

"We're moving out," Ephiny explained. "We've got reports that Caesar has massed more troops in the North and the Conqueror doesn't want to take any chances. We attack this morning."

Ephiny turned to leave and I watched as Callisto smiled and waved at me from the end of the hallway. If every there was a chance to kill Gabrielle and get away with it, this was her chance. I gently pulled Ephiny by the arm. I didn't know if I'd won her confidence enough yet but I didn't have time to question it further.

"Don't look," I began, "but at the hallway's end -one of the other royal guards -Callisto, the blonde- I don't trust her, Ephiny. Will Gabrielle be going into the battle too?"

"Her Highness is at every major battle, Xena."

I swallowed hard. "I'm assuming she's well protected."

"That's why she has her royal guard."

"And what if some in her guard wanted to kill her?"

"As her second in command, I never leave her side - never - unless ordered by the queen herself. I would die before someone took her life."

"You're that devoted to her?"

"Aren't you?"

The old Ephiny wouldn't have to ask the question. But this Ephiny was as fiercely loyal as the one I knew, even if she had no memory of me.

"I am without a doubt, but as I said, I believe others in our company are NOT to be trusted."

"Callisto, umm?" Casually, Ephiny glanced down the hall to get a better look. I simply nodded and made an approving sound. "I'll keep my eyes open."

I could have gotten into my thoughts on Najara but at this time she wasn't an obvious threat. Stopping Callisto was my main goal aside from winning Gabrielle's love. But I realized too that I couldn't win the love of a dead woman. So I had to play things carefully.

"Thank you my Regent," I told her respectfully.

Ephiny only gave me a nod and went back to her task of assembling the guard. When we got outside I saw Gabrielle already waiting on her steed in full battle gear. I must admit she looked magnificent . . . commanding. She hopped from the horse as someone was led over to her. It was a cloaked figure and when they approached each other I could see Gabrielle's grin grow wider. Upon seeing that grin I watched the hood drop. Immediately my jaw follows.

Autolycus stopped before Gabrielle, giving her a respectful bow before taking her hand and kissing it in a very gentlemanly fashion. I was too far away to hear the exchange between them but it looked as though he'd been in Gabrielle's 'circle' for quite sometime. I could see by the way she held herself in his presence. She seemed much more 'casual'. I wanted to know this story but I didn't want to break from the growing regiment without a reason. I decided perhaps a bit of truth might do the trick.

I took several long strides over and I wasn't sure what the reaction would be as I made my way to the pair. Gabrielle looked first in my direction and when her smile didn't fade at my approach I felt a bit more comfortable. When she waved me over I felt much more at ease.

"Xena, come meet Autolycus," she announced. "Autolycus, this is the newest member of my royal guard."

"Good choice," he nodded. "I'm sure she could take down her fair share of Romans and then some." He held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you."

I took the offered appendage. "Likewise, but I think we've met before. That's why I came over. You looked like someone I met years ago in Thrace."

"Perhaps," he grinned politely before turning to Gabrielle as he finished his statement. "I do get around."

"Oh that he certainly does," Gabrielle chuckled. "Autolycus is one of my most trusted spies, not to mention one of the best."

"One of the best? Forgive me for correcting you your Majesty, but I AM the best."

Oh yeah. The more things change the more they stay the same, I considered with a grin. He had that cocky grin that I realized I had missed. Instead of turning brutal for the 'disobedience', to my surprise Gabrielle chuckled.

"The only thing bigger than Autolycus' ego is his . . ."

Autolycus gave a slight ahem in response to Gabrielle for letting her sentence hang. With a coy grin she finished by adding, "appetite for nut bread."

"Well, that too," he conceded, stroking his chin.

I was curious now. "So how did he come into your service, Milady?"

"He was a thief," she said bluntly, her grin still in place. "I was on a campaign in the east and every other night items kept coming up missing. A few weapons, a few sets of body armor. But when he took my nut bread that was the final straw."

Autolycus chuckled too. "But since I'm so witty and engaging, she decided to keep me around after she FINALLY managed to catch up to me."

"I will admit," the conqueror smiled. "I did find him entertaining. The men wanted to gut him but it was a waste of potential. So I made him a deal."

"That's right. I work for her Majesty. Stay loyal and she would see I wouldn't want for anything. She's kept her side of the bargain and I've kept mine. It's been what? Five years now?"

Gabrielle looked upward as if she was totaling the years. "I believe so," she nodded. "I have to admit that when I hadn't heard from you this month I was worried."

"About what? Getting caught?" He smiled. "Only one person was quick and smart enough to catch me."

Gabrielle turned to me. "Autolycus is very smooth. He's knows all the right things to say and when to say them. Speaking of which, what news do you have for me from Rome?"

"Oh, the same old, same old. Caesar thinks he's a God. He's promising people things he'll never deliver. Athens is going to fall. So on and so forth."

"The usual, huh?"

"You got it," he grinned. "But I did learn something of interest. I'm not sure what it could spell in the future."

"What?"

"Caesars' right hand man - Brutus - he's running for Senate and gaining quite a bit of support. It seems to have driven a wedge between the daring duo. I'm not sure if that would be important but I do know that Brutus oversees many of Caesars' troops in the Northern battles and his last orders were to head west."

"But scouts have seen troops to the north . . . Divide and conquer," Gabrielle muttered. "This is quite interesting."

"I have a feeling that this little riff could work to the Greek advantage. Because if-."

"Caesar is counting on Brutus to stay put and wait for our troops, Brutus might get itchy to steal Caesars' thunder and rush ahead."

"Exactly." Autolycus grinned.

"Then that means that there would be no back up of Roman support," I offer. "The Romans will all mass in one area."

Gabrielle grinned as Autolycus waved his finger. "She is good," he chuckled. "Where did you find her?"

"She came to me actually," Gabrielle replied. I could tell there was something deeper behind the words as she spoke them, but she didn't elaborate.

"Well if you don't mind me saying," Autolycus addressed both of us. "With looks and brains like those she could visit my bed chamber any time she likes - day or night."

"She's off limits."

Gabrielle's voice was firm and all joking left her face. For the first time since the friendly exchange I saw Autolycus' mood shift. He wore the look I saw in others when they had contact with Gabrielle's bad side - fear mixed with respect. He could joke with her. Laugh with her. But some things were not up for discussion. Apparently I was one of those things and everyone in the circle knew it. He gave a respectful bow without making a single noise.

"Xena, would you please get the Regent immediately? I have a new idea for this battle."

With a respectful bow I made my leave to look for Ephiny. I wasn't sure what she had planned but I did know that even Caesar wouldn't see it coming.

Chapter 8

I found Ephiny in the stables making sure all the horses had the right armor and rations for battle.

"Regent?" Ephiny turned to look at me.

"The Conqueror requests your presence." She nodded towards me, then said something to the blacksmith, briefly before walking back my way.

"Xena, make sure that the smithy re-shoes that horse before we head off. Argo has a tendency to be bitchy when her shoes are bothering her." The Regent walked out and I was left there catching flies with my open mouth.

I walked over to the last stall with a growing grin. There she was. 'My' Argo.

"Hey, girl." She whinnied as if even in this world, she knew me. I buried my face in her mane and thought of home.

"I see you have good taste in horses as well, Warrior." I jumped slightly.

"I thought you had to talk with Ephiny, My Lord?"

Gabrielle raised an eyebrow at me as she examined my affection for her mare.

"I said what I needed to, and now I came to check on my battle horse." Argo whinnied and gave Gabrielle a little nudge. "How's my girl?" Argo nudged her again and the Conqueror chuckled, bringing out an apple she had hidden in her armor. "Never could hide anything from you." She chuckled once more and turned her attention to me.

"She's smart. How long have you had her?"

Gabrielle thought. "Around ten moons now, I only use her now for battle. She's well trained and I trust her with my life. Rest of the time she's free to roam. She's such a free spirit. But she always comes home in the end." We both gave her a pat.

After a brief silence she asked, "You ready to deal with Rome, Xena?"

My mouth went dry and I'm pretty sure I had a nice sneer on my face.

"I see you have the same love for Caesar as I do."

"I know he's an egotistically lying, crafty bastard."

She laughed loud at this and I worried. "Gabrielle, you must be really careful with him."

She eyed me. "One thing that I've learned over the years, Xena, is never take anything for granted or underestimate anyone." She sighed. "Caesar thinks my greatest flaws are my emotions. I feel things - be it anger or joy. To him, he thinks he can use this. But feelings aren't the worst thing a warrior can experience."

"What's the worst then?"

"Indifference. Because if you don't care then you have nothing to fight for."

"So how will you handle this battle?"

"Caesar wants that one great battle that will make him a part of history. But we're not the ones who will give it to him. Brutus will."

I was obviously confused and it showed on my face. Gabrielle gave a slight chuckle before continuing.

"First, we have to get his entire army here. The key to destroying Caesar is his belief in his destiny. That and Brutus' impetuous nature, trying to upstage Caesar. Brutus also believes he has a destiny. So when fates collide it can be a dreadful thing�for Rome that is."

She has an interesting take on Caesar. One I had never truly considered. I remained quiet as she went on.

"I know Caesar, and right now he's probably thinking I'm drawing him into a trap where he can flank our troops. Brutus will be the good field general and await his order. But that won't happen."

I looked at her at a loss. Would he fall for that?

"Gabr..."

"Shh Warrior. You see in past battle my troops have impersonated his. You keep your friends close, Xena, but your enemies closer. I have a fair hand in Rome although Caesar doesn't know it. When he sees troops in the valley in Roman attire . . ."

"He'll make the mistake of thinking they are his troops."

"Exactly. He'll charge in thinking Brutus is trying to upstage him again. When Brutus sees him going in full force he'll think he's being shut out of the glorious victory. That wouldn't help poor Brutus' standing in the Roman Senate."

"And he'll rush in too." I grinned.

"At which point we turn the tables. I get my men pulled back and I let the mortars do their job. Less of my men will die because we won't have to do as much hand to hand combat in this battle. And even though Caesar sees MY emotion as my downfall . . . in truth it will be his arrogance and Brutus' thirst for power that will do them in."

I considered a plan forming in my own mind. "What we have to do is make sure both Roman armies are led into the middle while making sure ours are on the outer parts to attack all."

"That'll be a hard task, but not impossible." Gabrielle agreed, but my nerves were still on overload.

"Conqueror?" Ephiny stood at the door.

We both walked to greet her, when a man carrying way too much for one person, nearly knocked us over. I was ready to take his head off when Gabrielle stopped me.

"Joxer?" The man froze, dropping his load of saddle packs and turned, falling to his knees.

"My Lord?"

She motioned for him to stand. "You ready for battle?"

He stuck his chest out proudly. "Aye, Conqueror. And a grand battle it will be." I looked him over and he seemed to be a bit more rugged looking than I was used to.

"Back to work with you then." She clasped his arm in parting.

"He's a tad slow wit wise, but he's dependable in battle." We continued walking over to Ephiny and all I could help thinking was, 'Joxer?? How is that possible?'

"Scouts say that Caesar's Army is still heading full force from the West and Brutus' forces are candle-marks ahead of his coming from the North."

"Good, good. Caesar will be in the middle first to deal with a clueless Brutus. Are our Sisters ready? What of the Centaurs?" Gabrielle was clearly in strategic mode

"Melosa sent word that the sisters are behind Caesar's forces and Tyldus is keeping an eye on Brutus', waiting for your signal. Catapults are in place with the Centaurs. The Amazons will stop them from retreating. They are in the forest, located in the trees."

"Lao Ma?"

"Advanced troops will perhaps be here in time. But she's a good 5 candle-marks behind with the majority of her soldiers with her."

"Very well then." She acknowledged the Regent and I. "Shall we go teach Caesar a lesson he won't live long enough to enjoy?" She smiled at us both. Ephiny and Gabrielle walked outside and I stood in the doorway.

"Coming, Xena?" Gabrielle asked.

"I'll be right there, I want to make sure Argo's shod properly." She gave me a smirk and walked off with the Regent. I knew in my soul that Gabrielle's knowledge of battle should have made me sick to my stomach, but I found myself in awe. I watched as she yelled orders to some of the solders.

"Conqueror? Conqueror?" A small voice called out to her. Gabrielle found the voice quickly with a smile. An adoring smile that only a mother would have for her child. Hope ran to her with a small package, Gabrielle scooped her up and kissed her while taking it.

"Put your mask back on, Gabrielle." I muttered to what I thought was to myself. This was one of many reasons I'd sent Solon away. What if I slipped like Gabrielle just did? Right then the hairs on the back of my neck tingled.

"My, my what a beautiful child." I stiffened as Callisto continued. "If I didn't know better I would say she looks an awful lot like...hmmm." She tapped her chin with her finger. "Well, you know, dear." She gave me that wild smile of hers.

"Before this battle's over, you'll be at the end of my sword," I promised.

"Oh, Xena, I swear every time you threaten me it just makes me all gooey inside." She laughed, going to her horse and leading her steed out. "Make sure you stay safe out there." She blew me a kiss and rode towards the other guards. My temper was slipping. Now Callisto knew about Hope, which meant that Najara must have told Callisto at some point. Son of a Baccache, I thought. Sure, Callisto would be with me, but Najara would be with Hope.

I had a flashback to when I felt Gabrielle had betrayed me, and Solon died. Ares knew how to play on my darkness and I did the unspeakable.

"Nice vocal! But you sure can't dance to it. Look, I feel your pain OK -- but how much longer before you start doing something about it?" Ares said.

"My son is dead, ya soul-less bastard! What can I do about that?"

"Just goes to prove what I've been telling you all along-- no good deed goes unpunished-- saving people, defending the weak, trusting someone who betrayed you." He puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Gabrielle."

"This whole atonement kick you've been on lately -- it's not you. You're full of fire -- bending the world to your will -- full of rage. And revenge. Accept it; embrace it. You know what to do -- who to kill." Gods, he knew what buttons to push.

I saw myself hold her battered body above the cliff as I screamed.

"Vengeance!!"

I paced the stable shaking, 'think Xena think.'

I looked back out as Gabrielle gave Hope one more squeeze before shoeing her off. Was Ares going to try to pull the darkness out of Gabrielle? Could he do it and would she be able to come back?

"Hope?" I called for the little girl; she saw me and smiled. I knew Gabrielle was watching, but I had no other choice.

"Yes, Xena?" Her face was just like her mother's and I felt an ache in my chest.

"I need you to give your Grandmother a note from me please, as fast as you can. Don't let anyone see this note other then her. Please, it's important." She nodded yes and I walked to my horse and grabbed a scroll and quill from it quickly.

I sent her off with the promise again not to show anyone and to get it to Cyrene fast. I had to warn Mother someway, but I couldn't stay because I had to watch Callisto with Gabrielle. Gods, I felt like I was trapped between crossbows.

"Is the Conqueror's horse ready?" I yelled making the smithy jump.

"Yes-s, ma'am," she stuttered and walked quickly off.

I grabbed the reins to Argo and led her toward Gabrielle, who had a cold look on her face as I got closer. I tried to give her Argo's reins, but her arm came out quickly and her hand was around my throat.

"What is your fascination with the child?" Her voice was low.

"I've grown close to her Grandmother Cyrene, and wanted Hope to give her a note just in case I don't return?" I barely got the words out. Her grip dropped and she let out a battle cry and leapt on Argo's back.

"Don't worry, Xena. After all, you are the best." Her face was still like ice. "Saddle up!!" she yelled, and took the lead.

I mounted my horse and Ephiny pulled up by me. "The Conqueror wants you up front with us."

We trotted off in silence, catching up with Gabrielle and Autolycus in front.

"Remember, whoever runs into Brutus, you may beat him senseless, but don't kill him. I have plans for him. As for Caesar . . . he's mine." The person breaking the silence was not Gabrielle, but truly the Conqueror looking forward to battle. I found this rather arousing and I mentally slapped myself for that thought.

"Yeah, well, you remember to come back safe and sound. You've still got a contract of ours to fulfill," Autolycus gave her a wink, bringing his horse to a stop just shy of the gated entrance.

I expected him to join us for some reason, but I realized quickly he would not. If Autolycus were to keep his livelihood, it wouldn't do much good for the Romans to spot him chatting up the Conqueror.

I turned in my saddle to look at our forces. Behind us were my fellow Royal Guards on horseback. Callisto and I locked eyes briefly. Behind them were the wagons with the catapults, then rows of horsemen with bows; her archers - half dressed as Romans; the other as Greeks. Then behind all of this there were the foot solders and I spotted Joxer on the far right. This wasn't even the full army, but very impressive indeed. In my old days I would hate to run into this kind of force. With the Amazons and Centaurs ready on two sides, by the Gods�

We continued to work our way to the battle in silence and I sent a prayer to whoever would listen that we'd all make it safely. Well except for Callisto, I considered in afterthought. It seemed like only seconds, but long moments later we had our positions. Gabrielle gave Ephiny the order to have the 'Romans' attack. From the bushes she watched the hill above. First a few scouts appeared at the top, but then a man I knew quite well made his appearance too. Caesar was dressed in his golden armor with a telescope watching the engagement below. For her part, Gabrielle had her telescope fixed on Caesar. I watched the two of them, but the growing smile on Gabrielle's face held my fascination.

"He's falling for it." There was something feral about the grin she had, as if she was a spider watching a fly heading toward her web.

I looked back to the hill to see Caesar pointing and pushing a few of his men around. He was falling for it indeed and he didn't look very happy that Brutus was going to 'steal' his battle with Athens. I took a deep breath. It wouldn't be long now. As soon as Caesars' troops began their charge down the hill, Gabrielle's attention left him. I'm sure she had faith in Ephiny to lead that battle. Instead of focusing on him, she shifted her eyes over to the far ridge where she expected Brutus' troops to be sitting. Sure enough within a matter of moments Brutus' behavior began to mimic Caesars' from moments before.

As Brutus' men lined up at the top of the hill, I watched Gabrielle raise her hand to her own troops behind her. Once the enemy began their charge downhill into the valley I watched her signal the flaming arrows. Then the arrows went up, all of her Romans and Greeks charged up the hill toward us. Leaving a mix of Caesar and Brutus' troops below. With another wave of her hand, the catapults began to fire into the valley. The darkened sky lit up like daytime and I could hear the screams from the burning men below. War was hell without a doubt. I knew that the Roman advancement had to be stopped for the good of Greece, but as I looked over the smile that appeared on Gabrielle's face, it chilled me.

She wasn't smiling because the battle was going her way. She was enjoying watching those men die. I knew that smile. I wore it many times in my youth. Sometimes it still haunted me in my dreams, but here it played on Gabrielle's face naturally. Too naturally. And it scared me. I couldn't look anymore at her, and I went back to watching the battle unfold. I witnessed as her troops tried to escape the fireballs wrecking havoc below. One soldier caught my eyes as he tripped trying to come up the hill.

Gabrielle gave her next order to charge and I knew that the man would be trapped below. It was Joxer. As the troops marched double time in formation to the battle below, I raced ahead as fast as I could to where he had fallen. I brought my horse to a halt and somersaulted from the saddle to land near his feet. His laces had somehow become tangled in a dead, rotted tree root. Quickly, I pulled my sword and swung watching him wince below me. The blade sliced through the laces and he pulled his foot out with ease. With only seconds to spare, I pulled him up to my horse as I jumped back. Together we raced down the hill into the battle.

"You saved my life," he yelled. "I must repay you."

"Look after the Conqueror," I ordered him. "If you see that blonde woman guard get within ten feet of her, make sure you kill her."

"I don't understand," he replied.

"You don't have to understand. Just do it."

"You have my word." He nodded, although he didn't know why.

The more eyes one had on Callisto the better.

As we made our way down the hill, I watched as Ephiny, true to her word, raced through the mess, taking down Romans left and right in her attempt to get back to Gabrielle's side. Something else in my favor, I was sure. As long as Ephiny was nearby, that meant that Callisto had three of us that she had to get through. As I looked back towards where the Royal Guards fought, I could see that she wasn't focused on the battle. She was focused on Gabrielle. And she knew, just as I did, that if there was any chance in her killing the Conqueror and getting away with it, the time was now.

Chapter 9

I heard Callisto screeching to my right, slicing through any Roman in reach. Her eyes were deadly, only looking forward towards Gabrielle. My own lack of focus got me on the receiving end of a slash on my left arm and one pissed off Conqueror. I watched as Gabrielle eased her blade out of the soldier who had been about to take me out.

"Get your mind in the battle, Xena!" she said through clenched teeth, kicking the dead man off his horse and moving to her next target.

Ephiny caught up to us as we flanked Gabrielle, galloping full out with arrows and catapults flying above. It was complete and utter chaos and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

I glanced toward the top of the hill where Caesar was sneering. He waved his hand and half the hilltop was filled with his archers.

'Son of a Bacchae!' I said to myself. We're all sitting ducks. "Archers!" I screamed out loud.

That got Gabrielle's attention. She just glanced up and laughed and took down the Roman she was engaging.

I watched as she puts two fingers in her mouth and let out an ear-ringing whistle that cut through the catapults projectiles flying over our heads.

Dropping down from the trees came a group of Amazon Warriors, making quick disposal of Caesar's archers. I turned toward Caesar. He had a look I've never seen before. I imagined the same expression shown on his face at his assassination. He completely lost all composure.

"Conqueror!!!!!!!!!" he screamed and started to run toward Gabrielle, leaving his men to fend off the amazons themselves.

Time seemed to be moving eerily, slowly. My head turned to Gabrielle and I watched as she jumped off of her horse, taking a soldier's head off in the process. She was covered in blood with an ice-cold grin on her face. A look of hatred...

Ephiny was engaging Brutus on the ground. The air was thick with the smells of smoke and blood and each catapult strike made my nerves jump. I turned my attention as Pompey decided to jump off his mount, tackling me to the ground.

'This is madness, this is madness.' Went over and over in my head, my demons taunting me. Pompey had me down his blade pressing into my neck, but I was fighting my thoughts more than him. 'Why should I fight this? This world is better for Gabrielle.' My demons reasoned.

'She's succeeding where you failed. She will win against Caesar when you were too weak to.' Flashing before my eyes were the visions of seeing Gabrielle enjoying kill after kill, and after each one the light in her eyes was dimming with each lost life. Then I saw my Gabrielle, full of wonder and life. The young woman who would ask me how the stars got into the sky. The woman who tried to find the good in any person. The woman who believed it me and never once, even in the darkest time ever gave up on me. Now that person was full of hatred. A second later I there was another flash.

It begins very small, Seems like nothing much at all. Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain. But the seed has been sewn, And before you know it's grown, It has spread through your life like a stain.
And its power will strangle your love and your joy. And its hunger consumes-- for it lives to destroy!

"Hatred, Gabrielle, that's what we're fighting -- hatred."

'No, I'll never quit. I'll never give up.' I told my demons and I felt that beast inside me awaken. I looked Pompey right into his eyes while forcing the blade with ease from my throat.

"NOOOO!" I screamed and threw him off and flipped up. I blocked a blow to my right, then left, then a overhead strike. We locked blades and he pulled a dagger from his belt. Grabbing his wrist I pinned him in a stare, squeezing and twisting. He screamed as his wrist gave, dropping the dagger. I brought a knee up between his legs. He let another scream loose, lowering his sword enough for me to knock it down while I plunged mine into his chest.

Then I knelt down, ducking a head shot from behind, twisting enough to stick Pompey's dagger in the Roman stomach. By the time I was done, there were six dead men laid at my feet.

I looked towards Gabrielle and my chin nearly dropped. She was engaging Caesar. He might have had more power, but Gabrielle was almost as strong. To her advantage she was quicker, with more skill. She blocked a swipe at her left, kicked out and took his right knee. He backed up enough so she could drive in her blade up the hilt in his shocked body.

'By The Gods. She killed him. Gabrielle conquered Caesar.

She slowly pulled her blade out and he crumpled at her feet. She let out a great battle cry, raising her blade over head. The troops rallied with her, but then I noticed the only Roman who seemed to be alive still was Brutus. Ephiny finished hogtying him, then joined in the cheer.

I stood there in a sea of dead Romans like a statue.

"Good battle Xena." Ephiny slapped me on the back and smiled. We both looked up to the hilltop where Gabrielle was still cheering. Right then my world slowed to a halt once more as Ephiny and I both saw the flash of blonde charging from behind Gabrielle and heard a scream that would break a ear drum.

"GABRIELLEEEEEE!!!!!!" I screamed.

She stopped her cry and looked calmly at me but didn't even flinch as she turned around to face Callisto. Ephiny and I were running full out, but there was no way we could stop it. What was more frightening was that Gabrielle refused to take a defensive stance. I watched as Joxer kept his promise. He jumped out trying to protect his Conqueror and Callisto sliced right through him like he wasn't there. Gabrielle still didn't move.

"Why isn't she moving?" Ephiny asked breathlessly as we raced side by side.

"Guilt?" I whispered. Feeling guilty is probably one of the worst emotions I've felt in my life. It can make you do foolish things because you think it's for the best, that it will end any pain. In reality it causes different sets of guilt and pain and it's usually the person you love the most that pays for that mistake.

"Letting justice be served," I said aloud.

Callisto reached her target, and raised the sword that would split Gabrielle in half. Gabrielle finally drew her sword, deflecting the blow. She stood her ground as Callisto circled her until Ephiny and I arrived.

"Stand your ground, warriors." Gabrielle said calmly, holding her sword to her side.

Callisto laughed. "Oh, the good Conqueror. What happened to you? One day you just decided to be a kind ruler?" She continued to circle.

"Something like that." Gabrielle let her shoulders drop.

"And all the shattered people your soldiers left behind are now supposed to cheer you, is that it?" I remembered this conversation, one of many dealing with Callisto. A time I almost lost Gabrielle to darkness.

"From here on out all I want on my hands is Callisto's blood, Xena."

"Gabrielle, leave Callisto to me. You need time to mourn." Truth was, I was scared, she had that look I did was Lyceus was killed.

"I have the rest of my life to mourn. I want to see her dead, Xena!" The look she gave made me shudder.

" I won't help you destroy all the ideals that you live by."

"My ideals were a lie. I thought love was the strongest power on Earth. What a fool. Love is helpless in the face of cruelty, Xena."

"Gabrielle, if you're taken over by hatred, Callisto wins."

"Xena, wake up and look around you! The little innocent Gabrielle is dead, and there's no getting her back. Just teach me how to use a sword, so, at least I stand a fighting chance. Please."

I could never say no to her.

"OK. Again. Again. Again! I'm gonna kill her. Again! Teach me. Teach me! Teach me. Again. Again! Teach me how to kill her, Xena. I'm gonna cut her open and watch her bleed. I'm gonna kill her, Xena! Teach me how to kill her!."

I felt at that moment like something was squeezing my heart, and it was the first time in my life I prayed to any God.

"If anyone's listening you know, I'm not much for praying. But I don't know what else to do. I was ready to give up once, and.. and Gabrielle came into my life. Please don't let that light that shines out of her face go out. I couldn't stand the darkness that would follow."

I was brought out of my memory by Gabrielle's voice speaking to Callisto.

"What happened to you was terrible. It was my fault and I'm sorry-."

She didn't let Gabrielle finish her sentence.

"Oh... well! That makes all the difference. And now, we can be the best of friends." She spits at Gabrielle's feet. "That's what I think of your apology." She attacked, but as Gabrielle blocked each blow, Callisto becomes more frustrated. "Fight me Conqueror! I'm not afraid to die, if that's what you're worried about. What about you, Conqueror? How would you feel to see your creation die by your hands, hmm?"

I could feel Gabrielle's will cracking, so I spoke. "Don't listen to her, Gabrielle. You can't torture yourself forever for what she's become."

Callisto gave me a sickening smile. "No, of course not. No, it's not her fault that I dream every night of my mother's screams coming from my burning home! You tell me Conqueror, do you sleep well at night?!"

Listening to Callisto recite her conversations with me to Gabrielle suddenly became too much. I felt my entire body shake and beads of sweat form on my brow. My voice was lost.

"No, I don't." Gabrielle's voice was low and soft.

"It wasn't the Conqueror's fault, you bitch." Ephiny charged but I didn't have time to stop her. Gabrielle turned to look at her friend.

"I said stand your ground!"

Callisto took advantage and swung down, slicing Gabrielle's back.

"No!" Ephiny and I both moved to go to her.

"Stand your ground or you'll both be fighting me instead!" she managed through clenched teeth. We both stopped in our tracks, as Gabrielle straightened up to face Callisto again. By this time a group of soldiers began to circle us, watching the display.

"They may have been your men, but the blood is on your hands!" Callisto's attacked again.

Each word Callisto spoke, cut more into Gabrielle then her sword ever could. I winced each time at those very same words when they were spoken to me. Gabrielle deflected another blow and spoke.

"You're right, it was my fault. I was drunk half the time and ignored the signs of the uprising in my forces. By the time I sobered up and caught on, the damage was done." Gabrielle's eyes held unshed tears.

"I don't want reasons Conqueror. I want your head!" Callisto countered as she swung. Almost on instinct Gabrielle deflected the blow. The strike wasn't powerful. There was no advance within it, simply deflection. The group listened closely as Gabrielle's voice got very small.

"We rode for days," she began as the two women continued to circle each other. "I spent hours trying to catch up to those bastards, each and every town they touched..." She choked a bit but kept her eyes on Callisto. "Each town was worse then the last one we tried to salvage. I might have a reputation of being cold hearted, but never could I allow the torture of innocents. A time long ago my family was subjected to this type of torture, and I swore, I would not allow that to happen to anyone else." All of us there were at a loss for words.

Gabrielle threw her sword down and held her arms out to the side. "If my death brings you peace, then so be it."

I eyed Callisto. "If she takes a step near you Gabrielle, I'll strike her down myself," I said.

Gabrielle didn't pay attention to my words. She only spoke to Callisto. "A very wise friend by the name of Lao Ma once told me the only way to stop violence was through love and forgiveness. I'm willing to forgive you for this sin and allow you to leave with your life. But if you step foot in my kingdom again . . . You're a dead woman."

"But she doesn't understand love and forgiveness. She won't stop until-" My words were interrupted.

"Enough of this sickening display of valor." Callisto was looking at me as her chin trembled. I was stunned. This was the first display of any emotion other than anger I'd seen her give. Gabrielle's words had weakened her for a moment. We all stood there waiting to see what would happen. I thought for sure she would regroup and attack.

"I refuse to make you a martyr, Conqueror." Much to our surprise, she threw her sword on the ground as well. "See? You made a monster with integrity. And I'm touched you find yourself so noble but I do know the truth. You're a beast! But I won't make you a hero by taking your life." She flipped onto a nearby horse and took off, tears staining her face.

We all just watched her leave, but my hearing picked up Gabrielle saying in less then a whisper. "Sometimes I really hate playing Conqueror."

Gabrielle gave a deep sigh and picked up her sword. She broke the tension by shouting orders to us. "Ephiny? Have the men get this battlefield cleaned up. Have my healers tend our wounded and bring Caesar to the dungeon and Brutus to my tent."

Ephiny and I looked at each other, confused. "Caesar?" Ephiny asked.

"I didn't kill him," Gabrielle answered. "I have plans for him. If he lives through the night that is," she says in afterthought. "Send messengers to find out how the Centaurs and Lao Ma are."

Ephiny nodded with a salute before leaving.

"Gabrielle, let me look at the wound on your back."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "You a healer too, Xena?"

I nodded.

"My, my. We have many skills."

I almost tripped when she said that. We got to her tent and she started to take her armor off. I found myself rushing over to help her. It was a reverse case of deja vu. How many times did Gabrielle do the same for me all these years?

"It's not bad," she added. "Just nicked my shoulder. Armor took the worst of it." She sounded very tired. When I removed the armor and the shirt underneath the sight before me stopped my efforts for a moment. Gabrielle was scarred badly by a whip. I realize it must have been from the attack on her village. I wanted to reach out and touch them, tell her I was sorry for all her pain but I quickly pulled myself together.

"Still going to need a few stitches," I said trying to stay focused on the current wound.

I looked around for a kit.

"Enjoy the battle, Xena? Told you Caesar wasn't much to worry about." I stayed quiet and tended to her wound. Part of me was still in shock that she won against him, and another part was in awe. Most of me was worried about how quickly Gabrielle gave into guilt.

"My town was attacked by your men also." I felt her stiffen. "But I know it wasn't your fault and you helped whoever you could. You even brought those men to justice."

"My justice, Xena." She turned her head to glance at me. "I killed every last one of them."

"I don't blame you, Gabrielle. Callisto is so blinded by her hate that it tainted her judgment." I reasoned.

"I was in her shoes at one time and I sought justice. Why should she not have that right?" she countered.

"You went after the people who hurt you, Callisto is not-."

"I was responsible for those men, Xena. They were my men!" One thing hadn't changed; she was still very stubborn in this world.

"Conqueror?" Gabrielle put her shirt back on when Ephiny walked in with a tied Brutus.

"What's the word, Regent?"

"Tyldus reports things went well. No deaths, a few injured. Melosa reports we lost three sisters. Lao Ma's advance party reports all is quiet and she should be here for the celebration tonight."

"Very good." Gabrielle nodded. "Our sisters fought nobly, so let's make sure that the after life knows it. Make sure they have royal pyres and see that a healer tends to Tyldus' men." Ephiny bows, leaving Brutus standing there.

"Now I have to decide what to do with you, Brutus." I stood there like a good royal guard and watched Gabrielle work. She was making the poor man squirm.

"Conqueror? Maybe we can come up with some type of arrangement?" He was very nervous. Gabrielle just raised an eyebrow and looked deeply into his eyes.

"What would you have to offer? Rome?" She looked rather amused.

"An alliance." He stuck his chest out, but sucked it back in at Gabrielle's laughter.

"Alliance, you say? Hmm� since you are on my land and the only Roman left standing, I find that offer rather . . . intriguing."

"There are still Roman forces under Anthony's control. I could go back and plead your side, discourage anymore Roman invasions."

Brutus was always a rather weak man.

"All right Brutus, but under one condition." He took a sigh of relief and I looked at her like she lost her mind. "You sign your name to this scroll, stating what you just said." His eyes widened. "Let's just say I had a feeling this would be your offer and took liberty in having two decree drawn up - one for Greece and one for Rome. Sign this right now, then stamp your ring's seal at the bottom."

Then her eyes made me shudder.

She set the scrolls down and held a quill out. He wasted no time in signing and dipping his ring into the wax to show his Roman seal. Gabrielle smiled while rolling up the scrolls. "Well done, and now for my part. Ephiny?" A blonde head peeked in.

With a mighty swing of Gabrielle's sword Brutus' head came clear off his body. My gasp caught in my throat as the blood covered the tent walls and the Conqueror. I sat stunned for a moment but I soon noticed that Ephiny seemed unaffected. She didn't even flinch. Walking inside, she took a position next to Brutus' slain body. "See that our new 'friend' makes it safely to Rome would you?" Gabrielle added. She swung again. This time separating Brutus hand from his body.

"What in Tartarus are you doing?" I implored.

"Dividing and Conquering, Xena." She paused and faced me with a flash of mischievous green eyes. "Literally," she chuckled looking at Brutus decapitated body. She handed me the scroll as Ephiny began to pull his corpse from the tent.

"I assume he fell for it?" the Regent smiled.

"Hook, line, and sinker."

I unrolled one of the scroll and read, then I looked up at them both. I must have looked like an idiot with my mouth hanging open. The scroll said that he had sided with Greece and turned his back on Rome to escape persecution. In other words, Gabrielle managed to label Brutus as a traitor to Rome. I was speechless.

"Is Mark Anthony still with Cleopatra?" Gabrielle inquired.

"Yep, and she's showing him a grand time on the Nile like you asked."

I watched the two of them interact. Gabrielle tossed Ephiny Brutus' hand. Ephiny too seemed the least bit phased. I, however, felt the need to vomit.

"Good. Send a messenger to Egypt with one of the scrolls along with his ring finger. Send the other scroll to Rome with his head. As for the rest of him . . . do what ever you want but get it out of here. " Gabrielle turned at me now but my mind was still reeling from what I witnessed moments before. She murdered Brutus. Not in the heat of battle but in cold blood as a way of betrayal. I forced my eyes to meet hers. "Something the matter?" she asked, sensing my discomfort.

"No, my Conqueror," I answered quickly.

"You're lying."

Should I confess or try to continue with the charade? My Gabrielle was always smart but this one was intuitive beyond belief. "I'm sorry but I just didn't expect you to do that."

"And what should I have done, Xena?"

"Kept your word."

I regretted the sentence as soon as it left my lips. She would probably take my head off next.

"Certainly," she grinned. She began to stroll through the tent as she continued. "I let him go. Then he returns to Rome. He double crosses me and returns with even more men for the next battle. As a result, more of my men die and I risk the chance of Rome overtaking Greece."

"I hadn't considered that," I confessed.

"Was it heartless? Yes. Was it underhanded? Absolutely. Will it protect this empire? Without a doubt." Gabrielle leans on the desk across from me folder her arms under her chest. "I will do what I need to ensure Greece's survival. This is war. What did you expect? Glamour? There are no good choices here, Xena. Only lesser degrees of evil."

I was so blinded by my lust for battle and survival against the horde I said the same words to her. But I also realized in an instant that I lost a part of myself that weekend. And it was Gabrielle that pulled me back from a decent into darkness. Would I have the power to do the same for her? She might have won the battle but I could see that Gabrielle was lost.

"Look Xena. Here's the plan. Only Anthony remains now. The Senate will turn on each other and Roman against Roman is much better than Greek against Roman. We just sit back and watch Rome destroy itself from inner conflict and lack of leadership. The best won battles are the ones you never have to fight yourself."

There truly is a method to her madness and more now than ever I was confused. This Gabrielle had her demons but she was an effective leader. She was doing her best to provide for her people. Should I take her away from all this? Was Ares right? Is this Gabrielle better than the other? Our enemies are slain. Her daughter is alive. Many of our friends are alive. My mother is here too. But what's the trade off? There's no Lila or Sara. There's no Virgil. Joxer's life in this world is now gone. As for Najara, she's Gabrielle's consort. Then there's Evie. She doesn't exist in this world. Neither does 'my bard'. And although she was an effective leader, Gabrielle's soul was tortured far worse than the scars that my Gabrielle had endured. I was wondering what action I should take when I heard Gabrielle speak to again, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Now that the field is being cleared and the wounded and dead tended, we might as well check a few last things and head back for the celebration."

Ephiny and I followed her back out.

"Soldiers of Greece!" Everyone there froze at the sound of her voice and listened. "You fought well today, you fought for freedom and won. Now our generations shall reap this benefit. You all should be proud." Roars of cheers went up. "And now� we shall go home to a huge feast!" More cheers as we continued to follow Gabrielle.

She went to each and every face that was there and gave them a pat of thanks for their hard work. I watched as she showed compassion to the wounded and held a dying Amazon. Then she went and studied each and every soldier she lost to make sure she never forgot their faces.

The last body she uncovered was Joxer's. There is where a bit of her mask fell and a tear slipped down her face.

"Ephiny? Make sure his pyre has honors and that his family is taken care of. Anything they want, they can have." She sniffled, and put a dinar in his hand. "Make sure Charron gives you a smooth ride, my friend."

As Gabrielle walked away I found myself unable to move. I looked at Joxer's expressionless face. I felt an inadequacy. I was unable to save him in this life as I was in the other. And I felt myself mourning all over again. As I did, I wondered how much more mourning would I do before all of this ended one way or another. I turned around to see Gabrielle getting ready to lead Argo away and I proceeded up the hill double time to join her.

It was early evening by the time we reached home and the scouts must have sounded our arrival. Torches lit the path to the very happy citizens who decorated our return with rose petals. No one said a word other then nodding occasionally at the crowd. The aroma coming from the castle made my own stomach grumble. The cooks were getting ready for the big feast. I smiled when I remembered that my mother was one of them. Joxer was now gone in this life but my mother still remained. We got our horses stabled, and I realized I was quite tired, my adrenaline wearing down.

"Conqueror?" Ephiny approached. "I think before the feast we should deal with the soldiers," she smirked.

"Ahh yes, have them relieve themselves and meet tonight for the feast. Make sure they know to bathe too." Ephiny gave the orders, much to the men's pleasure.

"Good battle, Xena," Ephiny nodded to me. I bowed my head in respect.

"Conqueror?"

The voice was a foreign one to our circle but I recognized it just the same.

"Yes, my consort?" Gabrielle sighed as she turned to face Najara.

As I also turned, the nut's eyes were on me and not Gabrielle. But I refused to look away. Realizing that she couldn't win the staring contest, she turned back to Gabrielle.

"I have a bath drawn and waiting for you, love."

She walked over, giving Gabrielle a kiss that was supposed to be on the lips, but Gabrielle turned her head and the kiss hit her cheek instead. Najara wasn't happy and her stare landed back on me. Gabrielle cleared her throat. "See you tonight, ladies."

It made me sick seeing Gabrielle led off by her.

"She's a real head case, isn't she?" Ephiny asked, whispering up to me.

"Other than the fact she has little voice telling her what to do? No."

Ephiny chuckled at my equation but I'm still unable to pull my eyes away from the leaving pair.

"Will you be enjoying the bordello, Xena?"

My surprise forced me to turn and face her. "You have a bordello here?"

"Absolutely. You know how Gabrielle feels about rape, and after battle the men all go through battle lust, so this is sort of a solution. You're welcome to partake if you like." Oh Gods, what if Gabrielle has my battle lust? The thought of her with that... Well, that put any fire in my loins out.

"No, I'm rather tired and I just want to wash up."

She patted me on my back. "Then I'll see you tonight. It'll be a grand affair."

I watched her retreating form.

It felt good to have some quiet time. My nerves were shot and my soul was shaking, I was a mess inside. Right now more then anything, what was bothering me was the idea of Gabrielle with Najara. I felt more and more like I was losing this battle for my bard. I sat in my bath water and cried, crying more out of frustration then anything else. I don't know how long I sat there but the water had become cold. I ducked my head back, wetting my hair, when a knock at my door brought me out of my misery. It was one of Gabrielle's servants.

"Yes?"

"The Conqueror wishes your presence, ma'am?" she squeaked.

"I'll be right there." I dried quickly and dressed, my heart beating fast again. I stood outside her chamber door for what seemed like an eternity.

"You going to stand out there forever, Xena, or come in?" I heard her chuckle through the door. I cracked her door open, not knowing what to expect.

"You wanted to see me?" My mind was thinking she would be raging with lust.
'Gods, what if she wants me to watch her and that�!?!'

But what I found was completely the opposite. She was standing by the window with a glass of wine looking into the evening sky, just starting to fill with stars and the setting sun. I noticed that on her table she had a mixture of scrolls scattered all around.

"Something wrong Xena?" She smiled.

"No, no. I just..." I was a babbling fool.

"You thought I would be fucking my wife senseless?"

No words. I just nodded with a guilty smirk.

"I noticed you didn't go to the bordello," she countered.

"There's nothing there I want," I answered honestly.

"After a battle the last thing I want is sex, strange as it might sound. To me, sex is a beautiful act and should not be tainted by battle."

"No disrespect, your Majesty, but I'm not sure if it was a beautiful act that took place between us in the woods the other night."

She smiled and motioned her glass to me in a toast. "As they say in Gaul, touch�."

"If you agree with me, Conqueror, what would you call it?"

"You mean the other night�in the woods?"

I simply nodded.

"Lust at its finest, Xena. Not sex. Not love. Just carnal 'I want you. You want me. Let's get it on' lust. Be honest Xena. You felt it."

"It wasn't what I hoped for."

"Are you saying you didn't enjoy it?" Gabrielle chuckled.

I gave a bashful grin. "I'm not saying that."

She handed me some wine and I gulped it down. "Well, after a battle I try to find peace, some type of comfort. So I usually read some of Sappho's works or look at the stars and dream." She blushed. "I know. It's silly� especially since I'm expected to have the raging limbo with cravings for bondage but..." I interrupted her.

"Far from it, in fact, I think it's wonderful, Gabrielle." The eyes I was looking into were my bard's.

"So how do you handle the battle lust, Xena?" She sounded very small.

"Sex usually, but today I wasn't in the mood." I just wanted this subject to drop. "So what do you need of me? Not that I'm complaining."

She looked out the window. "I just wanted to see you."

You know that feeling in your heart the first time the person you love says the words? That giddy thumping? I swear if she didn't think I was totally gone, I would have back flipped through the room. She wanted to be with me and not the nutball! I set my glass down and walked to her.

"I'm glad."

She looked at me, leaning in and kissed me softly before looking back at the night sky. "You see that, Xena?" I looked up to where she was pointing. "It looks like a big dipper."

"A dipper?" I smiled at the memory, in reverse, but still sweet.

"Yeah, you know like one of those cups that you draw water out of a bucket?" We both looked back up.

"It looks, it looks like a bear to me." My voice was on the husky side.

"A bear?" She looked at me like I lost my mind.

"Yeah." I countered.

"How do you get a bear?" I was really amusing her.

I moved behind her and began to point as whispered in her ear - my breath tickling her lobe. "Look at it. Look, there's the body. See? The little ears, and tail�" She laughed softly at me.

"If you say so, Xena." We both chuckled now before a quiet settled over us and our stargazing. If I was going to teach Gabrielle the way she taught me, now had to be the time.

"You know one of the wonderful things about life Gabrielle?"

"Hmm?"

"Times like right now where two people can see the same thing but find something totally different in it. But in the end, both can be just as beautiful. Life is always our perceptions more than the actual incidents that happen."

"Is that so?"

"Absolutely."

"Explain," she says with a smile as she turned to face me.

"Well I could kiss you right now. I could make another declaration," I begin as my fingertips run her jaw line. "It would be a wonderful event. But in the end how you perceive my actions are what matter most. I could even raise another point too if I dare."

"Let's hear it."

"Well from my perspective I find it quite interesting and flattering that you're standing at your balcony sharing this beautiful sky with me instead of your consort. I'm honored and I'm hopeful. So although you deny that there's nothing more than 'Let's get it on' lust here, I have to assume it's something more, something deeper. So tell me Gabrielle, conqueror of my heart, what's your perception of me?"

She fell silent and turned to look out the window. I took time just to look at her. She was in her Royal gown and when the wind caught her hair just right, my breath was taken from me. This Gabrielle looked older and regal but with more lines around her eyes. Regardless, she was still beautiful.

"At times I think you're a crazy woman with a death wish," she grinned playfully. "At other times, someone who doesn't know what she's asking herself to get into. You saw what I'm capable of today. So I wonder why you're still here?"

"I'm yours. I follow your orders and I was summonsed here."

"I thought that's what you would say." She turned back toward the window and I knew I had to recover.

"However," I continued. "When I got my orders to join you, I rushed here as quickly as I could. I wanted to see you again despite any orders."

A long silence passed between us.

"I'm sorry if my actions with Brutus disappointed you, Xena." The confession surprised me.

"I won't lie, Gabrielle, you did shock me today." Though it was more like she scared me half to death.

"Xena, I didn't get to be the Conqueror of the known world by being kind."

"I know that. I-."

"Do you?" she interrupted me. "I have to be ruthless. Kill first, before my enemy can kill me. Too many lives depend on me, Xena." She walked from the window to the desk, pouring herself more wine.

"What about your soul?"

She stopped in mid drink. "A part of that dies each time� to where I doubt I have one any longer. But this is the life I chose." She finished that glass and started on another. "I chose to let hatred and revenge take my life and now I pay the piper with my soul."

"Gods, Gabrielle" I hung my head, trying to control my emotion.

"Save your tears or pity, Xena. A lot of times I enjoy the ruthlessness." She gulped down another glass and moved to the door. "Now we have a party to go to." She exited and I began to follow when I got that familiar sick feeling that stopped me cold.

Chapter 10

"I was wondering when you would pay me a visit next."

"I'm here for the celebration."

I turned towards a very happy War God, but said nothing. "Oh Xena, more tears? If I didn't know better, I would swear you're turning into the bard, the lowly sidekick. Even sounding like her. Tsk, Tsk, such a show of utter weakness is so unbecoming of the great Warrior Princess." He circled me and sat on the desk; I still hadn't said a word.

"Come on now, Xena, I think you know deep down Gabrielle is better off in this universe. She has such power to change the world, make it better. After all isn't that what you've both been fighting for all along?" He snapped his finger acting like he was hunting for the right word. "The greater good?" he laughed, standing behind me now.

"She's a great ruler, just and true." He was so close to me, I could feel his breath in my ear. "She's managed to take out any threat towards mankind. Caesar's the latest conquest." He wrapped his arms around my waist. "You have any idea what she's having done to him right this moment? Hmm, Xena?" I shuddered at his voice dropped. "Torture is a too kind word for it. She sure can make my blood pump." He let loose an animalistic sound and swiveled to face me.

"For the grand finale, he'll be the main attraction at the party. I think you'll enjoy what she has planned for him." I just raised my eyebrow. He crossed his arms in front of himself and looked me over. He sighed, sort of frustrated at me for not giving into his torment. "I've got a deal for you, Xena. Let's just say even now I have a small soft spot for ya."

I smirked at that. "And what would that be, Ares?"

"Since you'll never win Gabrielle, I thought you'd be a better choice as her partner then Najara. Frankly between you and me, her and her one too many voices are freaky even for me." He smiled, waiting for my reply, but it was my turn to smirk and circle him. "I thought she was a better choice for Gabrielle? Since she did kick my ass that one time."

I tapped my chin. "Since I've been in this Gods forsaken world you created, I've been doing nothing more then thinking and you're right about one thing so far."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Here I do sound like Gabrielle, because in the other world she was my voice of reason. Breaking through each and every torturous demon I had. She never gave up on me even though I gave her many reasons too. And I bet, in fact I know�she wept for my soul many times. I caught her doing it when she thought I wasn't around." I turned my back to him and looked out the window.

"At first I hated this feeling. I did feel weak. Being in Gabrielle's shoes now, I know she probably felt the same way." I fell silent and thought about it. How many times did my bard hear she was my weakness? I turned towards him. "You know what I've come to realize Ares? Me being able to comfort, or yes, even cry for Gabrielle's soul, means I've changed. I no longer believe I'm this unfeeling monster you helped created years ago." My hearing picked up him grinding his teeth.

"So I have to thank you for that, Ares. Which also means if I can learn a lesson in this world, so can Gabrielle. Isn't that why you made me this offer?" I gave him a huge grin.
"Gabrielle still has her soul and she just needs to have someone believe in her just like I did back then. And that thought is making you quake in your leathers, isn't it?" My stare went icy as well as my voice. This time he shuddered as I practically stalked up to him like a wild cat giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks, but no thanks, Ares." I walked out the door, but not before hearing cursing and lighting bolts crashing in the room.

'Gods, that felt good.' I whispered, making my way to the gala. I froze in my tracks as I saw Gabrielle talking with Lao Ma. Memories flooded my mind.

"Fill yourself with desire and see only illusion. Empty yourself of desire and
understand the great mystery of things, Xena."

I was so blind back then; the ignorance of youth. One of a very few times in my life someone cared and I was too filled with hatred to see.

"Why would you help me?" I spat and she just smiles at me.

"I have been blessed or cursed with the ability to see into the souls of others. You don't know it yet, Xena, but you're a remarkable woman capable of greatness."

I didn't know what to feel.

That was the moment. I could've done it right there. I could've just let go and buried all my hatred forever. That was my chance and I blew it, but if I didn't follow the path I did, I would never have met Gabrielle.

"Xena?"

"Oh� wha?" I stumbled out of my musing to an amused Conqueror and a puzzled Lao Ma.

"Are you feeling well, Warrior?"

Sigh. This was like the tenth time she'd caught me when my guard was down. "No Conqueror, you just caught me in heavy thought."

She chuckled. "Apparently so. I would like you to meet the great Lao Ma from Chin."

Seeing Lao Ma again after all these moons, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. It's difficult seeing your first love after all those years. It's even more difficult when she has no memory of you. As usual, she said nothing at first. I knew she was looking into my soul as she looked into my eyes. I found myself giving a bow of respect, which she returned.

"Lao Ma, this is Xena," Gabrielle continued. "One of my newest guards. She's quite the warrior. She showed incredible courage and spirit today."

Lao Ma paused a moment. "It's wonderful to meet of woman of such nobility as yourself Xena. You've had some difficult journeys I feel."

"Yes I have," I told her honestly.

"But you are finding your peace slowly. That is very commendable." I watched Lao Ma turn to Gabrielle. "Now if only her Highness could be as fortunate."

"I'm as settled as I'll ever be," Gabrielle grinned.

"I think a journey east would do you well, Conqueror. Perhaps a vacation of the body would help the mind."

"I've been east, Lao Ma. You know that."

"Ah yes, but you haven't been to all the places you could reach."

Gabrielle and I both knew that Lao Ma wasn't talking about geography. Those places are deep within Gabrielle and I speculated that Lao Ma tried to show Gabrielle and failed as she did with me. However, Gabrielle was smart enough not to make the mistake I did when I left Lao Ma's side. Gabrielle was not an enemy of Lao Ma. I would have enjoyed engaging Lao Ma in conversation a bit longer. At least until the blonde psycho appeared at Gabrielle's shoulder.

"Lao Ma," Najara began. "It's wonderful to see you. It's been quite some time."

"Yes, it has." Lao Ma replied.

There's something odd about Lao Ma's appearance. It's almost as if her airy demeanor stiffened when Najara arrived. Lao Ma always did have the sight. I wondered what Lao Ma's interpretation of Najara could be. I was sure by the look of her body language at this moment it wasn't too favorable but she was masking it well.

I spotted Ephiny entering the hall with Solari on her arm. Good. The perfect escape.

"If you'll excuse me your majesty I would like to have a word with your Regent about the battle today," I announced.

"By all means," Gabrielle nodded.

I took Lao Ma's hand and offered a gentle kiss. "Pleasure to meet you," I said respectfully.

"Likewise, Xena," she answered politely.

I left them to their conversation and approached Ephiny. She wore a smile as she saw me draw near. Solari also had a grin for me. My two old friends. Alive. I had to admit that this life certainly had its advantages.

"May I have a word with you in private, my Regent? It won't be but a minute."

I hope I hadn't offended Solari, but this conversation was best left to only Ephiny's ears at the moment.

"Certainly," Solari offered. "I'll see to our drinks." Ephiny gave Solari a light peck on the cheek before she left.

"So what's on your mind, Xena?"

"The Consort, actually," I began.

"The Consort?" The surprise in her voice showed on her face as well. I found myself grinning as her smile became very sly.

"Nothing sexual, my Regent. I assure you."

"What about the Consort?"

"Before the battle I mentioned something about Callisto?"

"Which proved to be right. You fear the Consort is a threat to the Conqueror too?" Ephiny asked.

"I have no physical proof but I believe that Callisto was working with Najara."

"But why would the Consort harm the Warrior Queen?"

I shrugged. "Maybe the voices in her head are telling her to do it."

"We all have voices in our head, Xena," Ephiny countered.

"Yes, but they don't go around telling us 'the future' and we don't 'pray' to those voices. We use them as a guide between right and wrong. There's a bit of a difference between our conscience and Najara's Djinn." Ephiny didn't reply. "Tell me I'm wrong," I prodded her.

A grin slowly worked its way to Ephiny's face. "I know what you mean. It is odd. I'll give you that. But Najara has been very faithful to the Conqueror. There was much anger in Gabrielle when she first came to the Amazons. When her campaign moved east and she found Najara . . . She changed."

I was intrigued. "What do you mean she changed?"

"Gabrielle was no longer looking for a cause to fight. She was fighting for a cause. Najara began to balance her a bit. She showed her a different way."

The way. Why did that damn phrase always come back to haunt me? "And what way would that be?"

"The way of a true warrior. One that's deadly in battle but not sadistic as Gabrielle had become. Najara changed that. And don't let the royal attire fool you. She could best anyone in this room in battle with the exception of Gabrielle . . . Even you, Xena. But I have to agree that lately . . ."

"What?" I couldn't hide the urgency of my voice.

"Both of them are changing. Not just Najara, but Gabrielle too." The inquisitive look I gave Ephiny made her continue. "Najara seems edgy and 'paranoid'. Gabrielle seems more introspective."

"Introspective?"

"Yes, she seems like she spends more time in thought lately and I highly doubt that it's the affairs of state that she's concerned with. I know that she's taken you as a lover. I've said nothing to Najara nor would I. But since that time Gabrielle seems more like her old self, but blended with the new woman she has become."

I find myself getting more confused. It showed on my face and Ephiny continued.

"She was always quick to anger but lately her outbursts are more frequent again, especially since your arrival. But on the same coin, I see that she smiles more now than . . . well, ever. It's as if she's always going to extremes with no happy medium." I'm not sure what to say when Ephiny adds, "you've had an effect on her, Xena. I don't know how and I'm not sure why, but you've got a power that even the great Caesar himself could never have over her."

"And that power would be?"

"Fear. Not a fear of you but a fear of herself, it seems."

I watched as Solari finished up her conversation with Gabrielle and Lao Ma and headed towards us again. "Well, what of the Consort? What can we do?"

"I can't separate them but let me have a word with Gabrielle tonight before she's had too much wine. I'll see if there's any problems."

"I would appreciate that," I nodded respectfully.

Ephiny cocked her head and examined me carefully. "I must admit, Xena. You sound more like a Consort than a guard."

I grin. "Maybe in another life I was. Thank you, Regent Ephiny."

"My pleasure, Xena," she said, offering her forearm. "You've fought well today and proved yourself in my eyes. I'll see what I can do."

With another nod to Ephiny and one to Solari, I made my way over to the banquet. As I grabbed a plate, I began to look at the huge spread before us. Pig, fowl, vegetables from the far reaches of the known world filled the long rectangle table. As I put some food on my plate, I looked up to see my mother bringing out more loafs of bread for the guests. She gave me a warm smile that drew me over. I remembered that I had yet to disclose how I managed to be 'her' Xena. With everyone at the party, it seemed like a good time to get into the details and I made my way over.

Before joining her in the kitchen area, I turned around to see Ephiny leading Gabrielle from her circle, which included Lao Ma and Najara. It appeared that true to her word Ephiny was going to speak with Gabrielle regarding our conversation. Feeling a bit of relief, I gave a sigh and followed my mother into the kitchen.

As I walked inside, I looked around to see if anyone else was present. The cooks were quite busy with their preparations, so I took my mother by the elbow and led her to a quiet area away from the bustle.

"I owe you an explanation. It's going to be difficult to believe but this world, this 'reality', isn't real at all," I began.

She had a confused look on her face but I continued.

"Ares, the God of War, created this world. In the real world, you stopped father from killing me. I went on a rampage as a teenager and spent the next ten years of my life living in anger over a warlord who destroyed our family. I met Hercules, who showed me that I could be a noble person and then a short time later I met Gabrielle. She was a farmer's daughter who wanted to travel on adventures. Years later, she and I became lovers. When I decided to do the 'right thing' in life, Ares spent years trying to woo me back to him but I resisted. When he realized he would never have a shot at me he aimed for Gabrielle who was becoming a fine warrior in her own right. He didn't succeed with her either. So as a result, he created this place where Gabrielle rules as his queen. He gave Gabrielle 'my' life and raised her as his Conqueror."

Still my mother made no movement, but her face creased in concern.

"It's difficult to believe, I know. And I wouldn't be surprised if you thought I was crazy. Some days it feels like I'm losing my mind here, but I'm being honest."

My mother then reached into her pocket and scribbled a note. I read it as she handed it back. It only had three words. 'I believe you.'

I felt as if I might cry again upon reading the words. It felt like a weight had been lifted since I was able to share my secret with someone. Not only that though. Someone believed me. I reached out to hug my mother when we both turned to the crashing of the kitchen door.

Gabrielle stormed over with Ephiny following behind her. She pulled a dagger from her waist and backed me against the wall with it. The blade felt cold under my chin.

"My Lord, please," Ephiny begged.

"Enough!" she shouted to her Regent. Her cold eyes turned to me. "Now I realize that you have a grand attraction to me, but I have to wonder what your true intentions are by undermining my bond-mate."

This is not what I expected. I watched as Najara and Lao Ma took a place inside the kitchen door. I knew I only had one chance to get out of this alive and her name was Lao Ma.

Continued In Chapter 11

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