~ Alone No More ~ by Cole Micheal
March, 2007
Revised March, 2008
Sorry, no disclaimers. This work is mine, mine, mine! It can not be reproduced without the author's consent. Selfish? You bet your sweet patooty!
Warning!
This work contains an implied f/f relationship and although no graphically depicted it is definitely not for baby chicks. So shoo, go away, fake IDs don't fool me!
Also, if reading this is illegal where you live, pack your bags and move somewhere else!
And, for those of you that may be offended by this kind of story, what the hell are you doing reading this warning! Freud would have a field day trying to analyze you!
Dedication: To J. and all the bards that introduced me to Alt Fiction through their wonderful stories: Larisa, MJ, Advocate, T. Novan, Mavis Applewater, Ali Vali, Radclyffe, and many others. I hope to be just like you when I grow up!
This is my very first attempt at Alt Fiction. So be kind to this new bard.
***
A lonely heart, seeking
A lonely heart, waiting
A lonely heart…mine
A lonely heart finding
Souls reuniting
Alone no more…my heart
***
I cross the threshold and enter the unfamiliar bar, my eyes narrowing as they try to pierce the hazy miasma of cigarette smoke. Another night, another bar, and another wall to lean against holding a beer that's not quite able to quench my thirst. Searching, always searching, never finding. It is a ritual oft repeated. Always hoping that tonight will be the night the search finally ends.
***
I don't truly understand why I feel drawn to waste so many nights in bar after bar. Perhaps it is because their intrinsic atmosphere strike a chord in me, unwittingly reminding me of the murkiness of my own life and dreams, like a veil, never fully revealing my true self to those which whom I cross paths in life.
In this place I'm just another stranger, unremarkable, and unacknowledged. Like a ghost blending into the shadows, I size up the patrons, looking for that person who, in anonymity, can perhaps fill a small portion of the void that seems to grow larger within me with every passing day. Soul weary of waiting, I have resigned myself to finding brief comfort in meaningless encounters, seeking to connect with the living if only for a little while; always searching, never finding.
I feel a scowl contort my face. I am disgusted with myself; for being here; for even thinking that a brief moment of passion can alleviate what ails me.
I lift the half-full bottle of beer to my lips and empty it in one long swallow. I set the bottle down on a ledge on the wall and prepare to leave. The noise in the bar has risen to deafening proportions; like the frenzied buzzing of angry bees it assaults me and makes my need for escape that much more urgent.
Time to get out of this place; there is nothing here for me.
My thoughts are interrupted. Something, a sound barely discernable amongst the cacophony of voices and to loud music, catches my attention. I straighten my body to its full high and look across the sea of heads, my eyes drawn to a corner at the far end of the bar. For an instant I feel as if the very breath has been stolen from me, a harsh gasp the only sound escaping my lips. I blink, and then blink again, but the vision that greets me remains unchanged.
"Jesus." A whisper…a reverent prayer.
So beautiful!
Your hair shines like golden fire, a beacon drawing me in, parting the fog in which I have sailed alone until this day. My heart skips a beat, and then races a pounding rhythm that makes me feel faint as my blood rushes undeterred. A slow throbbing starts.
I see you smile widely and tilt your head back; the lilting sound of your laugh resonates within me. How full of life you seem!
I feel myself walking towards you, not daring to think about the possibility that you are not free to be mine. Deluded? Maybe. But, despite the possible consequences, I do not try to resist your siren call; my will is yours to do as you wish.
You look up. I am closer now. Close enough to see the sparkling blue of your eyes as they connect with mine. You tilt your head to the side as if asking me a question, a question I know can't be answered with mere words; I do not want to break the spell being cast around us. A frown appears in your brow. Trying to place me perhaps? I wonder if you'll take a leap of faith and acknowledge what your soul is trying to reveal to you this night.
Your face clears; a smile appears in your lips, its reflection in your eyes. I feel an answering smile curl my lips, a smile of joy, of hope, for what can be. Have I ever smiled before? If I have it was but a pale imitation of the smile gracing my face tonight.
I hold my hand out and you take it without hesitation. Gesturing towards the dance floor, you nod in answer and we wade through gyrating bodies to a secluded corner of the stage. I lift your hands up to my lips and kiss them softly, reverently. Another smile graces your lips; that same smile that has become my salvation.
I take you into my arms and feel you cuddling against me, one hand drawing soothing circles low on my back, the other resting lightly upon my shoulder. I hold you, like the precious treasure you are to me, cradling your head against my chest, my breath a kiss upon your locks.
Our bodies move slowly, caressing every inch they touch. It is overwhelming, this rush of sensation, it makes me tremble as it fills the void in me to overflowing. Can one ever feel too much? I think not. Not today, not here, not with you. Not ever again.
The music changes, its tribal rhythm a powerful aphrodisiac steeling into the other dancers. We ignore its seduction; for we require nothing further to exalt our feelings. In a corner, hidden by the shadows, we continue to sway to our own inner cadence.
Hands reposition themselves. Mine wandering slowly down your back to the firm swell that graces your enticing figure, yours sliding over my chest in a tender caress as they journey to the back of my neck.
Your fingers stroke the short hairs they encounter, soothingly, erotically, making my blood simmer in excitement. I feel your lips tracing a path from my neck, to my jaw, to the corner of my lips. Oh, what a wondrous feeling of elation mixed with sweet arousal this is!
I turn my head, breaths mixing, lips converging upon one another; softness, tenderness, ambrosia. If this were my last second upon this earth, I would die happy for having known the feel of your lips against mine.
I wet across the seam of your lips, they open without hesitation allowing entrance into the dark recess that I am wont to claim. Oh, the wet heat of that cavern; moist and sweet, utterly delectable. I could feast forever on your lips, be robbed of breath and not resist.
My hands rise slowly to span your hips, thumbs navigating curbs and dips. Up toned stomach and ribs, under the swell of hills and straining peaks. Grazing, tantalizing the hallow of your throat; a moan rising within us. The journey continues undeterred across jaw, cheekbones, ears, and into hair. I hold your head still to the plundering of my lips trying to convey the strength of my desire.
Your hands caress sensually over my form, firm thighs insinuating. I can feel the boiling cauldron of your need. Can you feel the moist fire emanating from deep inside my core? I think you do, and feel powerful in my need of you.
You set a slow sensual tempo, moving purposely against me. Thighs hard against needy flesh; chests aligned, hardened tips sweetly tortured as clothing scrapes skin oh so sensitive in its heat. Lips move to straining necks, wetting pulses, suckling as if drawing sustenance.
And then…and then I can feel it closing upon us; that ravenous fire that consumes; the rush, the crescendo that builds and grows, holds steady for a beat and bursts. Flowing lava, shivering bodies left in its wake, we hold each other like survivors often to do. The storm recedes, breathing and pulses slow. We look around sheepishly, but no one is paying attention; we seem to inhabit a bubble that sets them apart from us.
I turn back to you and soothingly run my fingers through your fiery hair. A shy smile, a gentle kiss, that's all we need. We break our embrace and, linking hands, you pull me towards the corner of the bar where we first met. Purse in hand you turn and wave your friends good-bye. We walk out together and step into our future.
Not a word has been spoken, but it matters not. I know you love me as you know I love you.