Violence Disclaimer: This story depicts scenes of mild violence and/or their aftermath.

Hurt/Comfort Disclaimer: This story has some elements that may be best classified as such.

Love/Sex Disclaimer: This story depicts a loving relationship between two consenting, adult women and contains scenes of intimacy, but nothing explicit. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story.

No copy write infringement was intended in the use of the song "I Need You"

Thanks, to my beta readers Barbara and Jennis.

All positive comments are welcome at coleen30@webtv.net

Part 3

Chapter 8

"What happened?" demanded the scared woman, as she rushed in the hospital emergency entrance.

Jamie sat on one of the hard plastic chairs and tried provide some explanation to the confused woman. Not being able to meet her eyes, Jamie took a deep breath and began, leaving out the true nature of the conversation that led to the accident.

"I don't believe this!" said an angry Bridgett. "You were supposed to be her friend Jamie. She thinks the world of you. What did you say to upset her enough to run away from you?"

Sad, blue eyes finally rose to meet flashing green. "That's between Erin and me. If she wants to tell you that's okay, but I won't. It was just a misunderstanding."

Bridgett shook her head. "No! My sister wouldn't run away from a simple misunderstanding. She..."

"Anyone here for Erin Casey?" asked the doctor, stepping around the corner.

"Yes, I'm her sister." Bridgett turned her attention to the short, brown haired woman, scribbling notes on a chart.

"I'm Doctor Crawford," she said finally, extending a hand and offering a caring smile.

Jamie stood back away from the two, but still close enough to hear.

"Your sister is very lucky," said the doctor. "There are no breaks or spinal injuries and no internal injuries. I had to put ten stitches in her forehead and she does have a concussion and a severely sprained wrist. Because of the previous head injury, I want to admit her overnight for observation and do another CAT scan in the morning. But I really don't expect any further complications."

Jamie released a heavy sigh of relief upon the doctor's words. A single tear slid down her cheek as she quietly turned and left.

When she got back to her building, Jamie by passed her apartment and went up to the roof. The anger she had held in couldn't be contained any longer. An old, black, metal chair suffered the fury of her wrath, as it slid across the rooftop and crashed into a brick wall. She yelled in frustration. "Why?! Why is this happening again?!" A small, plastic table cracked under the pressure of her slamming fist. "Erin didn't deserve this," she said to the night air. Jamie kept mumbling, as she slumped, tiredly against the wall. "She's so good, so special. How could I do this to her? How?" She tossed her raven head back and stared into the dark sky. A few stars dared to twinkle at her. The souls that have gone make their presence well known. For the stars in the heavens, have eyes that keep watch. When the twinkles of lights, smile on others below. The quote from Erin's book was meant to bring peace to those who have lost a loved one. But to Jamie, it only gave her another reason to rage.

"You!" she yelled, pointing to the sky. "This all your fault! Why did you leave me? I would have been a good person if you had been here. I could have loved Erin and made her happy! When you left, you took my soul with you and left behind a breathing lump of heartless, poison." The anger, at her parents, took her last ounce of energy and she crumbled to the ground. The tears, which she had never shed for them, finally fell from her eyes like the rain of a summer storm.

After several minutes of long overdue grief, Jamie wiped her messy face with the back of her hand. She took a few deep breaths and tried to calm her rapidly beating heart. Finally, she peered back into the night sky. "I miss you," she whispered. "Please help me. Help me to fix this mess, I have, once again, gotten myself into." She wrapped her arms, tightly around her body; unknowingly cocooning the fragile soul inside for it's coming transformation. "I'm so alone. I never wanted to hurt her. But I have and I don't know what to do. Please Jordan," she begged her twin. "Send me a sign."

First thing the next morning, Jamie returned to the hospital to try and salvage something of her relationship with the blonde author, even it was just to, once again, apologize. Stepping off the elevator onto the third floor, Jamie saw Bridgett standing outside a room at the end of the corridor. She approached her slowly.

"What are you doing here?" asked the still angry red head.

"I came to see how Erin is. I'd like to talk to her."

Bridgett folded her arms over her ample chest. "She doesn't want to talk to you."

Jamie understood her...former friend's attitude, but her own anger, at herself and the situation began to seep through. "Are those her words Bridgett, or yours?"

"Erin told me if you came by, not to let you in. She seemed almost embarrassed by something. She won't tell what went on between you two, but I can tell it was something intense. I'm sorry I ever introduced you to my sister. Now please leave us alone."

Jamie turned and walked back down the long hallway. She stood by the elevator, thinking. I can't leave it like this. I can't. It would be the best thing if I just walked away, but she needs to understand. I need for her to understand. She stepped onto the empty elevator and it descended, while she was still deep in thought. Bridgett will never let me near her. I know she loves her sister and just wants to protect her, but I have to find a way passed her.

Back in her lonely apartment, Jamie noticed that her copy of Noah Factor had fallen from the shelf. Not thinking much about it, she picked it up, opened the front cover and saw the recently added words and the signature. She smiled, remembering when Erin had added it.

They had stopped by Jamie's place on their way to the ranch, because Jamie had forgotten something. The tall chauffeur had disappeared into her bedroom, leaving the author sitting in a chair near the window. Erin listened as drawers were pulled out and items were shuffled around. A closet door was opened and then a small curse was spoken. Erin smiled at her friend's impatient antics.

"Okay," said Jamie, as she entered the room having found the forgotten item. "We can go now."

Erin stood, as did her canine companion. "What was so important that had you tearing up your room?"

"Its kind of embarrassing."

"Oh come on now," urged Erin. "It can't be that bad."

"It's just a...well it's a good luck charm, I guess you'd call it." She reached for Erin's right hand and laid the small object in her palm. "It's just a dirty old rock, but it's got these grooves carved into one side. Can you feel them?"

"Yes. It feels like something specific. What is it?"

"That's the funny thing. They're kind of shaky, but it looks like the letter X. Kind of like X marks the spot, I guess. I found it in a creek bed, the first time I went to the ranch and I also had it with me when I met you. Those were two of the most important days in my life, so it just sort of seemed like luck. I like to take it with me, every time I go out there now. I don't know. I'm just being silly."

Erin smiled and held out for the chauffeur's hand, which she held onto as she gave the cherished item back to its owner. "I think you are anything, but silly," she said. "You are intelligent, kind and my best friend. That reminds me, there is something I've been meaning to do. Can you get your copy of Noah Factor?"

Puzzled, Jamie reached over to the bookshelf and retrieved the slightly worn, hardback. "Here it is. Why do you want it?"

"I want to make a personal dedication," said the smiling woman.

Tears pooled in the corner of Jamie's eyes as she read the words, written straight from the heart of the beautiful author.

Jamie's fingertip traced over the signature Erin Brienne Casey, as a tear splashed on to the back of her hand. She closed the book and turned it over. "I promised I wouldn't do this. I never wanted to hurt you," she said to the smiling picture of Erin. "And now you are in pain. Even if you can't be my friend anymore, I have to fix this." Her eyes were drawn to a single sentence, in rather small type, at the bottom of the cover that she hadn't noticed before. It said, this title also available in Braille. Jamie's eyes brightened just a touch. "That's it. That's what I have to do." She placed the book back on the shelf and a small smile came over her face. "Thanks Jordan."

Bridgett entered the tiny hospital room, her heart tightening at the sight of her sister's small, still form, engulfed in the sterile, woolen blanket. She quietly set the small travel bag on the chair beside the bed and tiptoed to the window.

"I'm not asleep, Bridgett."

"Well you should be," said the red head, as she moved back to Erin's side. "How are you feeling?"

"The same as when you asked this morning. Stiff and sore, but I'll live."

Bridgett silently cursed her ex-friend again, for not only causing the physical hurt, but also the obvious emotional pain her sister was experiencing.

"I finally got a hold of Mom and Dad to tell them what happened. But," she stopped Erin's immanent objection. "I told them you said not to interrupt their vacation and that you would be fine. They said they love you and they will worry about you, because that's what's in a parent's heart."

Erin gave a fond smile and accepted the water her sister offered.

"I went to your place to get some clothes," said Bridget. "But just enough for a couple of days. I'll go get more tomorrow..."

"Why would you need to get more?" Erin asked, afraid of what was coming.

"Because you're staying with us for a while."

"No I'm not. I'll be fine at my house."

"Erin..."

"No Bridgett! I mean it. A little bump on the head and a sprained wrist does not make me an invalid!"

"I know that sis. I'm just worried about you. Ten stitches and a concussion are not a little bump on the head. This never should have happened. I told Jamie to stay away from here."

Erin raised her head up quickly, a move she instantly regretted as a wave of dizziness hit her. "She was here? When?" she asked through the pain.

"First thing this morning. You said you didn't want to talk to her and I totally agree with you. It was all her fault."

"No it wasn't!"

"But you said...."

"I said we had a disagreement. This," Erin said, holding up her bandaged arm, "…was my fault. I was stupid enough to go down those stairs like I did and that's all there is to it. Jamie can't be blamed for this."

Bridgett bit back the words on the tip of her tongue, knowing it would only aggravate her sister more. "Okay, I don't want to argue with you right now. You don't need to be any more upset than you already are. But I still have issues with her."

Eyes closed behind dark glasses at the thought of what she'd lost.

"About our previous conversation, can I ask you one favor?"

Erin sighed. "Yes."

"Will you at least spend tonight with your family. I already took Arte to my house and the kids pounced on her the minute she got out of the car. You wouldn't want to take away their fun now, would you?" She knew her sister couldn't resist the emotional blackmail. "Besides I haven't seen you much in the last few weeks. Can we catch up while you rest up?"

A slow smile came to the blonde's face. "Yes, we can do that." She grabbed onto her sister's hand. "I love you Brig."

"I love you to, Erin."

Jamie pulled into the hospital parking lot and took the envelope from above the sun visor. She studied the white paper and prayed that it would help her connect to her missed friend. She walked toward the lobby entrance putting the envelope into the back pocket of her jeans.

Erin had reluctantly let her sister help her get dressed, do to her body's current state of immobility. She slowly eased her way down into the chair by the bed, alleviating the lightheadedness she was feeling.

"I'll go tell the nurse you're ready to leave," said Bridget. "I'll be right back."

Turning the corner, she saw Jamie standing at the nurse's station. Bridgett tried to keep cool for her sister's sake. "What do you want now?" she asked, walking up behind the dark haired woman.

A startled Jamie turned at the sound of the calm, but disturbed voice. "The same thing I wanted this morning. How is she?"

"She's in pain." She strongly implied a double meaning. But with those words, she saw the tall woman flinch and her blue eyes fill with guilt, but even more, a pain of her own. This observation lessened Bridgett's ire...slightly.

"I know she doesn't want to talk to me, but...I have to let her know what happened. Could you give this to her." Jamie handed Bridgett the letter. "Ask to her please read it. It is private, she'll understand."

Bridgett just nodded and let the nurse know that they were ready, while Jamie headed off in the other direction.

"Well, she'll be right in with your metal limousine," said Bridgett as she strode back into the room. She didn't notice Erin's bandaged head drop to her chest at the reference. "Sis, I have something for you."

"What?"

"It's a letter... from Jamie. She asked you to please read it and that it would help you understand. But I'm asking you to please not read it...at least until we get home."

She placed the envelope in Erin's trembling hand. The author just nodded her agreement as the nurse arrived.

From a hidden corner, Jamie watched as Erin was wheeled to the elevator, the enveloped clutched in her hand as a thumb unconsciously rubbed over the dotted white surface.

It was just after three o'clock when they arrived at Bridgett's home. The blonde was enthusiastically greeted by one dog and two children, but was soon feeling the effects of her injuries and with little persuasion, went to her room to get some rest.

She woke just in time for dinner, but barely touched her meal. After a quick trip to her room, she told her sister that she wanted some fresh air and was going to sit in the garden. Of course Bridgett asked to come along, but that idea was quickly rejected.

"Everything's okay," said Erin, as she hugged her well-meaning sister.

Sitting on the same bench that she had shared with Jamie, the first night they met, Erin lifted the flap on the envelope and pulled out the folded piece of paper. The fingertips of her right hand were soon gliding across the Braille lettering.

Dearest Erin,

I am so sorry that this happened. It tears me up to know that you are in pain and that I'm to blame. I just thank God that your injuries weren't more serious. I don't really know where to begin. My reaction to your declaration of love was rude and unacceptable. I can't go into details in this letter, but I would like a chance to explain everything. I owe that to you, as my best friend. And that is what you are and what you always will be to me. You have not lost my friendship, but I fear losing yours, after you hear my explanation. Your instincts as to my feelings for you were not totally wrong. I do care about you, very much. You are the best thing in my life. Please meet with me. We need to discuss this in person. I want you to hear my voice when I tell you the truth about myself. If you can't bring yourself to ever talk to me again, I will understand. But I am asking for a second chance. I need you in my life.

Your best friend, Jamie

Erin turned to the departing sun and made her decision; the only one she could live with.

Strains of soft music drifted through the darkened room as Jamie drowned her sorrows in root beer, fearing the mindless oblivion alcohol would have wrought. A state she knew all to well and promised herself she would never indulge in again. Two many lost nights had hounded her youth.

A watched phone never rings. She remembered hearing that once, thus the reason for the absence of light in the room. But she held the cordless phone tight in her hand all afternoon, silently willing it to ring. The ten o'clock hour was fast approaching and hope was fast fading. She closed her eyes, just drifting off to sleep to the melodious vocal sounds of the Irish soprano.

The phone rang once, but Jamie was almost afraid to move. On the second ring she lifted it to read the caller ID. Recognizing her co-workers number, she pressed the button.

"Hello," she said in a hoarse voice.

There was silence for a moment.

"Jamie, it's me," Erin said, timidly.

Jamie held the cold bottle to her throbbing head. "I'm glad you called. I was afraid I'd never hear from you again."

"I wouldn't do that to you, for the simple reason that I do love you. I understand you don't feel the same and you really don't owe me an explanation. It just happens."

"But I do...owe you an explanation. Please," begged the distraught woman.

"Okay, why don't you come by my house Friday evening, unless you're working."

"No. No, this is too important to let anything stop me. I'll be there."

"Okay. That's an interesting choice of music I hear," teased the Irish lass.

Jamie smiled for the first time in twenty-four hours. "Yeah, it's my favorite now. My best friend gave it to me."

"Well, she has great taste in music… and friends."

More silence. Neither one wanted to break the frail connection they had re-established. But someone had to bring the call to an end.

"I'll see you Friday night then. Take care of yourself Jamie."

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

How could someone anticipate and dread an event at the same time, she wondered. But that is exactly what Jamie felt as she lay in bed that night, waiting for sleep to take away her sorrow ...at least temporarily.

Driving to the beach house the next day, Bridgett noticed her sister's normally out going demeanor was subdued. Her one or two word answers to her sister's questions were disturbing.

"I know you talked to her," said the redhead, as they continued down the road.

The annoyance was evident when Erin asked, "Were you eavesdropping Bridgett?"

"No. I was just passing in the hallway when I heard you say goodbye to her."

Erin purposely waited a while before explaining. "She apologized, even though none was necessary and she wants to talk. She's coming by Friday night."

Bridgett's silence spoke of her disapproval.

"Why are you so concerned about this?" the blonde asked. "This is my life and my decision. I know you and Jamie, were not that close, but I also know you liked her or you wouldn't have invited her to the party that night. Maybe you're eager to just give up a friend, but I'm not."

"A friend is not that irresponsible in her actions."

"I told you it was an accident and all my fault. Now whether or not I choose to continue my relationship with Jamie is my business. I know you're just trying to look out for me, but please don't interfere with my life."

No more words were spoken as they neared the oceanfront house.

Jamie and Bridget had come to a civil understanding at work. On Friday they had even had lunch together. But Bridgett did leave Jamie with a word of caution.

"I don't like seeing my sister hurt."

"Neither do I," agreed Jamie. "And I wish I could erase everything that happened this last week. But I can only move forward and do my best to see that it never happens again. If that means staying out of Erin's life and losing her friendship then that's what I'll do. But that is Erin's decision, not yours."

"That's the same thing she told me." Bridgett smiled, conceding the debate. "I just want the best of everything for her in life, including friends. She's had enough sadness since she lost her sight."

The dark head nodded in agreement, wanting the same thing, only tenfold.

"Do you have a sister, Jamie?"

She was shocked by the question. "No," she admitted with sorrow. "I had a twin sister, but she died when we were five."

That surprised and saddened Bridgett, remembering how close she had come to losing her sister. "I'm sorry."

"I've often wondered how I would react to things in her life," said Jamie, solemnly. A small smile came to her face. "I've come to realize that I would probably be as over protective as you are toward Erin." They shared a small laugh. "So, I do kind of understand. Your sister is very special and I promise you that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her."

Green eyes looked upon her with conviction. "I think I believe that now."

Chapter 9

Erin kept herself busy all day on Friday, writing, laundry, playing with the dog. But even the busy work couldn't keep her thoughts from drifting to the beautiful brunette she loved and what might happen later that night. Her mind kept the conscious thought that everything would stay the same, as it had been for weeks they had known one another. Jamie had promised that their friendship would not suffer and Erin believed that above all else. But could she be a friend to Jamie? Would her jealously be a barrier between them, if Jamie ever found someone to love? Another woman...or man? Maybe that's it, she thought. Maybe she's not gay. She never mentioned any past lovers. Maybe she's just not attracted to women. I almost hope that's it. It will be much easier to handle that way. She walked on down the beach, the gritty sand beneath her bare feet. But I felt the way she held me the night of the storm. That was not my imagination. That gave me my first hope that we could be together. Ahhhh! Her mind screamed. I don't know! Her heart was desperately grasping at straws, any shred that could bring them together.

Erin had just finished making dinner, a feat hampered by the invasive tan wrap on her right wrist. Artemis barked once and then she heard the tires on the gravel, coming up the driveway. An intense wave of nerves rocked her and she had to steady herself against the cabinet.

A knock on the door.

"Come on in," she yelled, shakily.

Inside the door, the excited, furry occupant met the dark haired visitor. "Hi girl," said Jamie, with a brisk rub of the furry ears.

Erin took a deep, calming breath. "I'm in the kitchen, Jamie. I'll be right out."

The author walked into the living room, carrying two tall glasses. She handed one to Jamie. "Here, I thought you might like something cold to drink. Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes."

Their fingers grazed as Jamie took the glass and that spark of emotion hit them both, although neither gave any outward indication.

"Thanks. How are you feeling?"

"Fine actually, accept for this reminder." Erin held up her injured limb. "And this." She brushed the strip of white that covered the right side of her forehead. "But at least these are coming out on Monday."

"I'm so glad you're okay Erin. I..."

"No. No, please I don't want to have this conversation on an empty stomach. After we eat, okay?"

Jamie studied the floor and simply nodded her head.

"Jamie, you still here?"

"Yeah. Um, I'm sorry. Yes, I agree we should wait."

Polite small talk passed between the nervous eaters. Jamie complimented the cook and Erin graciously accepted. The tension left both with very little appetites around the knots in their stomachs.

Together they took the dirty dishes to the kitchen and Erin started the coffee machine. "Let's go in the living room." Erin thought it best to avoid the room that was the sight of the previous week's encounter.

More minutes of uncomfortable silence ensued.

"I don't know about you, but I'm tired of trying to make small talk. I think it's time for what we are really here for."

"You're right," said Jamie. Clearing her throat of the lump that was forming, she began to speak. But Erin beat her to the punch.

"Jamie, there is really just one thing I want to know. And I would like the truth. I don't think you have ever purposely lied to me... have you?"

"No Erin, I've never lied. But there are some things I never told you about my past, a lot of things actually. Things I never wanted you to know, because I didn't want you to hate me, or worse, be ashamed of me."

"Jamie, I don't think that could ever happen." Erin moved to sit near the nervous woman on the long camel colored sofa. "I just need to know...are you gay?"

Yes," said the whisper.

Erin's heart twisted with the realization. "Then it's just me, you're not attracted to." She stood to move away.

Jamie gently grabbed her healthy arm. "No, don't you run away again. I want to explain everything to you. Now please sit down and hear me out. I know I never told you anything about my life before I moved here and maybe I should have. If you understood me more, this whole thing might not have happened."

"What, that I wouldn't have fallen in love with you. I had no choice Jamie. From the minute I heard your voice, it started and I would've fallen no matter what." Erin sat back down. "I do want to hear all about you and what you think that has do with why you don't love me."

"Don't say it like that," Jamie said, dejectedly. "Look, I have to start at the beginning. I've never told anyone everything of what I'm about to tell you. But if you stop me anywhere along the way, I may not be able start again, okay?"

"I understand. Go ahead."

Jamie took a deep, but emotionally painful breath. "When I was ten, my parents were killed in a boating accident. Up until then I guess you could say that my childhood was as normal as any other. My parents loved me and they gave me everything a child needed. But just below the surface they were always sad. I was born a twin, an identical twin. But Jordan contracted meningitis when we were five...and died. I don't suppose any parent gets over the death of a child or any child gets over the death of a parent. My ten-year-old mind thought they went away on purpose, to be with her. And of course, if they wanted to be with her more then me, that had to mean that they loved her more than me. That's when I became angry...at everything and everyone. But I can't blame them for what I became, for what my rage turned me into." Jamie paused and gave a small laugh. "Although there are still times when I, irrationally, accuse them of causing the tragedies in my life," she said, remembering the shouting session of just a week ago.

The sorrow in Jamie's words put another dent in Erin's, already disfigured heart. She wanted to reach out and hold the woman, but that would have been a mistake. She knew Jamie had to do this alone.

"Anyway, I didn't have any other relatives so I was put in foster care and they found me someone to stay with pretty quickly. They were a nice couple, but that didn't matter to me. I treated them horribly. My grades fell and I got into trouble at school all the time. The Matthews were patient with me for a while, knowing what I'd been through. But that changed three years later when I stole five hundred dollars from them and used some of that money... to buy drugs. I hung around some older kids at the playground and heard them say that grass made everything go away. And it did. That first smoke took away everything I could have had. Things got steadily worse and the Matthews put me into counseling, but there was nothing wrong with me, at least that's what I thought. I was passed on to one therapist after another, finally given up for a lost cause when I was sixteen. I ran away from home and they never found me." She shrugged. "Probably never even looked," she added with dejection.

"That's an awful thing to have happened to you, but it still doesn't explain..."

"That was just the first chapter, Erin and the easiest one to tell. After that I went to hell and didn't pull myself out, until two years ago. I ran away to New York and did what so many kids did to survive. When I was eighteen, I met up with this dealer named Johnnie. He took a liking to me, but never tried to sleep with me. Not that I minded, I was so tired of doing that. Anyway, I became a runner for him, but I never used, except for the marijuana, but I even stopped that. He told me that the smart ones, the ones who make all the money, stay clean. After three years I became a very rich woman and branched out into gambling. I flaunted my wealth and they flocked around me like starving lions on a fresh kill. Before it never mattered to me, men or women, as long as they had money. But when I could start making my own choices, I found that my tastes ran to the female persuasion." Jamie visibly shuddered with her next words. "Sandy was the first person I ever chose to sleep with. We became inseparable, but for different reasons. I liked walking into parties with a gorgeous young woman on my arm. She kept my over inflated ego well stroked, not to mention other things." Jamie scowled at the sound of her own sickening words and the thought of what each syllable was doing to Erin's perception of her. But the author needed the complete truth. "One day she told me she loved me, right out of the blue. I laughed in her face and said she was being stupid. I didn't want to be loved. I just wanted something constant. She just kept hounding me, begging me to say I loved her, whether I meant it or not. She wouldn't give up, so I had to do something drastic." The knuckles on Jamie's hands began to turn white as she squeezed them in anger at what she was about to reveal. "I set her up. She came to my place and found me with another woman. I looked at the tears in her eyes and laughed. She ran out of house and straight into the path of an oncoming car. I stood there looking at her bleeding body and it hit me that I really did care for her. She had been important to me, but I didn't see it."

"Jamie, you don't have to say anymore," Erin whispered with tight emotion.

"Yes, I do. I want you to know everything." She paused before starting again. "The only way I could cope with her death was with anger, the same way as with my parents. A year later I met another woman, who was just as angry as I was. So we shared our anger and as time went on, the rage seemed to lessen for both of us. I still wasn't in love, had no clue what love was. But she did or so she said. She said I saved her. You can guess how glad I was to hear that," Jamie said sarcastically. "If I couldn't be saved, I sure as hell didn't want to help anyone else. I was very selfish," she chuckled. "I tried to be calm about it and explain that I didn't feel that way about her. I didn't want to hurt her like I had hurt Sandy...but I did. I came home one afternoon and Ellie was there. She had her back to me and I didn't see what she had in her hand. She said she had to ask me one more time if I could ever love her. I said no. She turned around, put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger."

The hollow pain in Jamie's voice as she whispered the final words, unleashed the tears that streamed down Erin's face.

"Jamie, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. And I do understand now. I really do, but that doesn't change anything for me. You are not that same person. You got past that anger, but you are still denying yourself. I know you feel something for me. We have a connection. Don't run from this because of things that happened in the past."

"I caused those things, Erin! I ended two women's lives because I was poison!"

"No! You were scared, because you had been alone all that time. You were just afraid to get close. But you are not that woman anymore. What happened to Sandy was an accident, a tragic accident and Ellie had to have had severe emotional problems, problems that you weren't equipped to deal with. But you didn't kill them."

"If I had just tried they wouldn't be dead now."

"No! You can't say that! Those relationships couldn't have worked, no matter what the circumstances. You just weren't meant to be together. But we are and I know you feel it and I know you're still afraid, but we can get through this together."

Jamie stared at the face of reason. But Erin's words weren't enough to erase the past. She caressed a soft cheek and smiled. "You are so beautiful Erin. It would be so easy to fall in love with you. But I can't let that happen because I don't know how to love. You were already hurt because of me and I won't let that happen again."

Erin covered the hand on her face. "Do you believe that I love you?"

"I believe you love the parts of me that you can see. But I can't let you see the rest and it's not fair for you to love only half a person."

Erin pulled away from the touch and stood in frustration. "How dare you presume to know what I see! I may be blind, but I see so much more than you do. And what's not fair is for you to prejudge me, because of what they did and it's not fair to take my choice away from me about who I want to love."

Jamie dropped her weary head. "Maybe I'm still being selfish, just trying to protect myself. But that's the only thing I know how to do," she admitted, sadly.

Erin moved away from the confused woman. "You said that Simeron Noah saved your life; that she gave you hope and made you feel alive. Well I am Simeron Noah. Everything she thought, everything she felt was from me. A fictional character, on a page, in a book, can't love you, but I can...I do. You have a hell of a long life to live yet Jamie and so do I. I don't want either one of us doing it alone. If you walk away from me, that's exactly what will happen. You don't deserve that, no matter what you may think, and neither do I. Because I will never just settle for another relationship, you're it for me. My soul knows it... and so does yours." Erin gave a sigh of resignation. "I am not trying to guilt you into loving me. That's what they did. I just want you to open up your heart because that's what you need. You have been alone for to long. You don't have to worry Jamie, I'm a stable person and I won't harm myself, because life is to precious to just give up. But how you live that life is most certainly your decision." She finally turned to face the woman she loved. "Simeron Noah had the courage to live her life and so can you."

That abyss of silence was back as it had been a week earlier.

"Would you say something please?" begged Erin.

"I heard everything you said. But I don't have the courage of Simeron Noah. I'm not sure if I have any at all. I need some time to find out. Can you give me that time...please?"

"Yes."

Jamie got up from the couch and moved toward the door. "I'm sorry. I'm gonna...go now." The cool twilight air blew in, as Jamie opened the door. "Goodbye Erin."

Tears slipped, once again, from unseeing eyes as she heard the word good-bye instead of goodnight.

On heavy legs, Jamie went down the stairs to her car. She reached for the door handle, but pulled back. Her mind was definitely not able to concentrate, so trying to control a several thousand pound machine, along a darkened road, was a very bad idea. She headed back toward the beach. The normally, calming sounds did nothing to ease the turmoil rolling in her heart. The pictures of her tragically dead lovers played across her mind, but while they were once vivid, they now seemed to pale just a little every time she thought of them. If only my guilt would fade away with them, she thought.

"It was not your fault. It was not your fault." The author's words began to echo through her head and embedded themselves in her soul. Maybe I wasn't directly responsible, but...

"You had been alone...alone...alone"

Jamie looked down and watched, as her bare feet, dug into the lose sand, with every step that carried her farther away from her future. Her life started playing out before her eyes. The few short years with her parents brought a smile, albeit a sad one. Next came the times with the Matthews, when she could have changed what was about to happen, if she had let them help, like they begged to. She saw them shake their heads, in shame, at her behavior.

The busy, dirty New York streets brought nothing but misery to her spirit.

The drugs, the users, the takers.

The years she spent hating. What did I hate? Myself.

There was the guilt again, but then the words, it was not your fault; it was not your fault. The confused layers of her soul fought for dominance, causing her heart to race.

The beautiful smile, the gentle soul.

A walk in a peaceful garden, a race on horseback across a green meadow.

A thunderstorm, shaking, shivering, pleading, holding, caring.

A declaration, a rejection, a fall...a realization.

"I love you Jamie. I love you Jamie." God, I want to, I want to! The farther she got down the beach, the harder it became to breathe. Jamie stopped and raised her head to the darkened sky. "Please help me!" she begged. There was a tightening in her chest. Her first thought was that she was having a heart attack. Maybe this is my punishment for the past. She turned back in the direction of the beach house and was assaulted by another gripping pain. Jamie closed her eyes and dropped to her knees, a stunning picture of the beautiful author and her brilliant smile filled every ounce of her being. Jamie exhaled a huge breath and it was over.

Erin stepped from the bathroom, after washing away the tears that had threatened to drown her. She couldn't be angry with Jamie, because she truly understood the soul-destroying spiral she had gotten caught up in. But Erin had longed to be able to reach the troubled spirit. She had tried every action and every word she knew. She'd always thought true love would win over the greatest of odds.

The emotional emptiness she felt was soon joined by a total lack of energy. Erin dropped down onto the couch she had recently shared with the greatest friend she had ever known. Her hand absently drifted over and rested on the vacated space. I will not cry again, she told herself. I will... Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. A tiny flicker of hope sprang to life, but she was careful to keep it in check. A faithful, Artemis followed her to the door. She did something very dangerous for a blind person or a sighted person, she opened the door without asking who it was, but her throat was too constricted. She opened it just slightly, but the visitor said nothing. A fragrance assailed Erin's senses and she slowly pulled the door open the rest of the way. And she found her voice. "Did you forget something?" she asked, shakily.

"Yes," said Jamie, as she stepped inside the house. "I forgot to do this."

Two gentle hands caressed the sides of Erin's face as Jamie closed the distance between their bodies and their souls. Their lips came together in a kiss that spoke of tenderness and heartfelt love. But soon a wave of passion crashed over them, rivaling the surf meeting the shore, just outside. A need for air drove them apart, but strong arms pulled the blonde head to her shoulder, which once held the weight of a thousand guilty consciences, but was now free. Both held on tight for fear of losing...everything.

"Please share your courage with me," Jamie pleaded in a whisper, against a delicate ear. "I want to be with you. But I need your help." She pulled back and wiped away a tear on the beautiful face before her.

Erin took the hand in hers and placed a kiss on the palm. "Everything I have and everything I am, is yours. We will do this together."

Jamie gently rested her forehead against the blonde's. "I do love you Erin."

"I love you, too."

The door was closed and two clinging bodies made their way inside. Jamie perched herself in the corner of the overstuffed sofa and she pulled the petite blonde to lie against her. "I meant what I said, I will try my hardest to make this work."

"I believe you," said Erin, as she reached up to kiss a salty cheek. "Most of all, we just need to talk, about everything. Whatever you're feeling, whatever you need to know, please just talk to me. There is nothing we can't work through if we both talk and listen." She felt the dark head nod her agreement.

"But I don't want to talk about anymore of that heavy stuff tonight...okay?"

Erin smiled. "That's fine. I think we're both to drained to do that anyway."

A comfortable silence ensued as two hearts came to beat in sync.

The clock on the end table had ticked away an hour, before they knew it. The dog had already called it a night and had stretched out on the brown rug in the corner, sensing her services wouldn't be needed for some time.

Jamie couldn't see the clock because of the angle, so pulled her left arm up to check the watch on her wrist. Her right arm was currently making slow trips up and down a well muscled back. "It's late sweetheart."

Erin smiled at the term of endearment. "I don't want you to drive home this late. Besides," She gave a little extra squeeze to the waist she was curled around. "...I'm comfortable right where I am. Will you stay and hold me?"

Jamie returned the hug. "That sounds good to me."

The smell of fresh brewing coffee woke Jamie from her dreamless state. Slipping back into her jeans, having slept in her T-shirt, Jamie followed the aroma to its origins.

The author stood in the bright blue and yellow kitchen, slicing bread for the toaster. Jamie stopped in the doorway, leaned her head against the frame and appraised her new love. Please don't let me hurt her, she prayed. Although she had hardly made a sound, she knew Erin's sensitive hearing had detected her the moment she reached the kitchen door, maybe even before.

Jamie's bare feet glided across the stone tiles of the kitchen floor. She slid both arms across the green silk robe Erin was wearing and came to rest on a flat stomach. "Good morning," she said, with an almost chaste kiss to the author's cheek. She noticed that Erin was having trouble maneuvering the knife because of her bandaged wrist. "Can I help with that?" While not completely taking over the job, she merely covered the author's small hands and helped guide the cutting implement through the tan colored bread. Once several pieces were cut, they both dropped four slices into the toaster.

Erin turned inside the circle of comforting arms. "Morning yes," she said. "...but not good just yet. One thing I should have warned you about is how demanding I can be."

Her teasing smile warmed Jamie's healing heart. "How so?" she asked, playing along.

"Well, the first thing I expect every morning, without fail, is a proper good morning kiss. And I'm afraid to say that that peck on the cheek ain't gonna qualify." She shook her head. "Un, un sorry."

"Well, now can I have a second chance?"

"Most assuredly. You can have seconds as many times as you want." The wordsmith's double meaning was not lost on the tall chauffeur.

The long, slow, deep kiss that followed left both craving much more. Erin finally pulled back. "Great morning," she said breathlessly.

They continued to revel in their closeness until the toast popped up.

Erin reached around for a tanned piece and handed it to Jamie. "Why don't you start with that. Then you can use the shower first, while I make you breakfast."

"I have a better idea," said Jamie. "Why don't you go on and shower. I'll wait till I get home. I don't have any clean clothes to put on anyway. And I'll fix you breakfast."

"I thought you didn't know how to cook."

"Well, I might have exaggerated a tiny bit. I can do scrambled eggs." Jamie placed a quick kiss to the button nose in front of her. "So, you go get wet and we'll have breakfast when you get done."

"Okay. I'll only a few minutes."

Jamie raided the refrigerator for the eggs, butter and milk; a jar of strawberry jam also caught her eye. A bowl, frying pan, plates and utensils soon rested along side the food on the blue countertop. A sudden thought hit her. Wow, this is the first time I've anticipated making a meal. Maybe that's because I'm doing it for someone else. I'm sharing it with someone else. But not just someone else, someone I love. The ringing phone snapped her from her reverie.

"Could you grab that," Erin shouted, from down the hall.

"Yeah, I got it. Hello."

There was a pause, the caller not expecting to hear any other voice. "Hello is this the Casey residence?"

"Yes it is, but she can't come to the phone right now."

Another pause. "Jamie, is that you?" asked a surprised Bridgett.

Shoot Jamie thought with a grimace. "Yes...it's me...I..."

"Who is it?" asked the towel-clad author, as she stepped up beside the tall woman.

Jamie turned to the sight of a beautiful bare shoulder, causing her train of thought to derail. "Oh...it's...a...your, your sister," she stuttered.

"Thanks." Erin took the phone, unaware of the flustered state she'd put her friend into.

Jamie stepped into the kitchen to avoid temptation, but her ears stayed tuned.

"Good morning sis," Erin said cheerfully.

"Well, you certainly sound in a much better mood than the last time I talked to you. And what is Jamie doing there this early in the morning?"

Erin sighed. "Bridgett, don't start that protective stuff again. And to answer your question, we talked really long into the night and I didn't want her driving all the way back to the city that late."

"I guess you two worked out what ever it was you were fighting about then."

"We weren't fighting, Bridgett. It was a misunderstanding and yes everything has worked out for the best. She is happy and so am I. Now is that the only reason you called, to check up on me?"

"No, actually Mom and Dad got back yesterday and they want to have a family dinner tonight. That is to say, Dad wants to take us out to dinner, just the four of us. He said he had something to tell us. Oh and it's a semi-formal occasion."

Erin turned in the direction of the kitchen, thinking about the cook.

Bridgett heard her sister's hesitation. "Come on Erin, you don't want to disappoint Daddy."

Daddy is going to be disappointed in me anyway, thought Erin. "Okay, can you pick me up about three?"

"I'll be there. Tell Jamie I said bye. See ya later."

Erin hung up the phone and went back to her bedroom without a word.

Jamie was just scooping out two helpings of eggs, when the blonde came in wearing blue shorts and a white T-shirt. "Right on time," said Jamie, setting the plate down in front of her. "Your eggs are at twelve o'clock and your toast and jam is at six o clock. OJ top left and coffee, top right."

Erin was momentarily stunned. "How did you know...?"

"Well, I did some research this past week. I missed your evening calls, so I spent a lot of time at the library on the Internet, reading about how you handle everyday situations, kinda made me feel closer to you," she said sheepishly.

Holding out a hand and taking the one returned, Erin said, "That is so sweet. Thank you. And just so you know, that really shows me how much you care about me." She squeezed her hand. "You do know how to love, Jamie. Just listen to your heart, that's really all there is to it."

Jamie studied the smiling face, but couldn't stave off the blush that crept up her neck. "We'd better eat before it gets cold." After accepting a compliment on the food, Jamie asked, "Is everything okay with your sister?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"She didn't sound too thrilled to hear me answer the phone."

Erin waved a hand in the air. "She's just being Brig. I've learned to just go with it and not argue to much. My life is my life."

Jamie cautiously broached another, possibly touchy subject. "Are you afraid of how your family will react to us? I mean do they even know you're gay?"

"No, they don't know. I never intentionally hid it from them; the subject just never came up. The only time I dated...women, was when I was in college and a couple of thousand miles away from my family."

"You don't want them to know about us then?" Jamie tried to hide the disappointment, but at the same time she understood

"Hey, I love you and I'm proud to love you," said Erin. "And I want the world to know I love you. But I don't think my family will handle the news well, especially my father. It has nothing to do with you. Just my being gay will be the only issue. I would like to wait a while before we tell them, only because I don't want to deal with them right now. I want to be able to put my full attention on us and to nurturing this relationship." She was greeted by silence. "Jamie will you talk to me. I can't see what your face is saying."

"I'm sorry. Yes, I understand and I agree."

"Really?"

Jamie moved around the table and responded with a kiss. "Really." Jamie gathered the dirty dishes, while Erin got up and poured herself another cup of coffee.

"Jamie."

"Yes."

"I kind of.... I mean I can't see you tonight. I agreed to have dinner with my family. Dad said it was important."

Two strong arms staked their claim on the petite body. "Well, I am very disappointed in that, but I have to work anyway. So, you have a good time with your family tonight and we'll spend tomorrow together."

Erin smiled. "Could we go back to the ranch?"

"Of course. I'm sure Teegan will be ready and waiting for us."

"Do you have anything to do until you have to leave for work?"

"Nope, what did you have in mind?"

"Could I ask a favor?"

"Always."

"Well I need to go to the grocery. Bridgett usually takes me on Saturday, but with going out tonight, she'll be to busy."

"Your chauffeur is happy to drive you anywhere, Madame."

The trip to the grocery store proved very entertaining, especially when Jamie managed to sneak in, among the fresh fruits and vegetables, two cartons of ice cream and a jar of maraschino cherries, which would be put to a test, at a date not to far in the future.

The ride back to the beach house was filled with laughter and song as they tuned in to the all 80's radio station and bopped to the memories.

With all the groceries put away, with their Braille labels attached and in the proper order, Jamie announced that it was 2:30 and she should leave before Bridgett arrived.

With a short, but sweet kiss, Jamie left her new love standing in the kitchen.

"Jamie, wait!"

The dark haired woman stopped at the front door. "Yeah, what is it, sweetheart?"

"It's just..." Erin paused. "I'm afraid..."

Jamie took two steps back inside, took the author's hand in hers and finished the other woman's thought. "That when I leave, you'll never hear from me again."

A head, filled with shame, nodded.

Jamie poured everything her soul had to offer into a thorough kiss. "Erin, my heart loves you more than anything, I've ever felt before. I'm sorry I tried so hard to deny it. And my brain might sometimes not know how to show it. But I promise you, I do want to try." She pulled the body to hers and squeezed with desperation. "But I will take my own life before I hurt you."

The blonde head jerked away and startled Jamie. "Don't say that! Jamie, in any relationship there is the risk of getting hurt. That's the price we pay for being human and having emotions. But we also get tremendous rewards by feeling this incredible thing called love, the ultimate emotion. Don't anticipate that we won't work out and I'll be hurt. Just live one moment at a time."

"Okay." Jamie brought both of the smaller woman's hands to her mouth and kissed the back of each one. "So, don't doubt that I'll be back. I love you and I will call you in the morning and we will have a whole day of those precious moments."

Chapter 10

The stretch white limo pulled out onto the quiet street, heading toward the freeway onramp about a mile away. The name of tonight's client rolled around in Jamie's head, Timothy Casey, Casey. Erin had never mentioned her father's name, but it had to be a coincidence, didn't it? There has to be more than one Casey in LA, she thought as the tires ate up the miles to Brentwood.

Inside the large brick house on Burnham Street, Erin sat in her childhood room, which according to her sister looked almost exactly the same as it had the day Erin left for college. Danielle Casey insisted that she was maintaining her daughter's rooms for her grandchildren, but Bridgett's son didn't like the pink frills of his mother's old room and three-year-old Caitlin preferred a Rugrats motif. So her mother's theory didn't hold much credence, but her daughters just smiled and humored her.

Erin was seated next to an open window. She took a deep breath and was filled with the fragrance of the rose bushes just below her room. She remembered when she was a young girl, before the sound of storms terrified her, when it would rain she would sleep with the window open and dream of playing in a field of flowers with a friend. She could never put a name to the friend or a face, but she knew that friend would always be in her life, to care for her, to protect her and to love her, as best friends do. Erin smiled to know she could now put a name to that little girl.

"Okay," said Bridgett, as she came bouncing into the room waving a small, red bag. "What are you smiling about?" she asked, as she applied the finishing touches to her sister's makeup.

"Why does it have to be about anything in particular?"

"Well that smile was bursting with happiness and I think something very specific had to be behind it."

"Actually, I was just remembering a dream I used to have, sleeping in this room when I was younger."

"Let me guess, the one about the new bike you got on Christmas or maybe one when you and Jason went to the prom and got caught necking in the bleachers. I know he would have given me quite a few nice dreams."

Erin slapped her sister's arm. "Bridgett! I didn't know you had a crush on Jason."

"It didn't matter. He only had eyes for you. I still don't understand why you never..."

"Brig, that's all in the past, please leave it there. Besides that wasn't what I was thinking. I never told you about this dream. It was very special and personal."

Bridgett's curiosity was just as strong as her sister's, but with the family waiting for them she couldn't pursue it further. "There you go," said the red head as she finished brushing her sister's hair. "Just how you like it."

Erin stood and smoothed out her dress, wishing she were dressing for a night with Jamie. "Thanks sis. Has Dad given you any hint what he wants to tell us?"

"No. Mom doesn't even know. And you know I could've gotten it out of her," she chuckled.

A knock on the door brought a message that their impatient father was waiting for their appearance in the den.

Bridgett helped Erin down the long, curved, wooden staircase. Smelling the pipe, long before they reached the big double doors, Erin joked that her nose could have led the way for both of them. The senior Casey hurried to the door, smothering the two women with hugs and kisses, his graying mustache stilled tickling, like when they were kids.

"Don't we have the two most beautiful daughters?" asked their mother Danielle, as she joined in the group hug.

"Indeed we do my dear, indeed we do."

Mrs. Casey ushered her daughters into the room. "Come over here girls. It's been a long time since we had a family photo."

Casey checked his gold Rolex after several clicks of the camera. "That car better be here on time," he grumbled.

"I'm sure it will be dear," said Danielle, trying to ease her impatient husband.

The long, luxury automobile was parked right in front of the house when Casey opened the Mahogany door. The dark haired driver stood tall beside the passenger door. Crisply pressed black slacks, shiny black shoes, brilliant white shirt and black vest and tie adorned the trim body.

"I don't believe it," he groused. "I told that company to send their best driver."

"What makes you so sure they didn't, Dad?" asked Bridgett as she looked around her father's shoulder.

"Because that's a woman."

"Please Dad this is the year two thousand."

Erin's ears perked up. A woman limo driver. Nah, I'm sure there is more than one female limo driver in LA.

Bridgett pulled her sister aside. "You're not going to believe who the driver is," she whispered.

Erin fought the smile that threatened to lift the corners of her mouth. She knew exactly who it was, from the tone of her sister's voice. "Don't say anything. I know Jamie wouldn't want to be treated any different just because she's our friend."

Timothy patted the pockets of his expensive black suit. "I forgot my glasses. I'll be right back."

"Bridgett, what is Jamie wearing?" Erin asked, while they waited for their father to return. She was greeted with silence and a quizzical look from her sister. "What? I've never paid attention to limo drivers before and I'm just curious."

Bridgett shook her head at the strange request, but gave her all the details.

Timothy soon returned from the den. "All right ladies, let's go." The family of four, led by the burly, gray haired man, headed down the long walk.

Jamie heard the clients approaching and looked up to greet them. The sight that met her nearly caused her knees to buckle. Years of practice hiding her emotions, kept her expression neutral, but her thoughts jumped with glee and her libido rattled its chains. Her mother and her sister escorted Erin, on either side. All three women were attractive and elegantly dressed, but Jamie's vision tunneled to the beauty in the center, draped in shimmering green silk. Her glorious beauty had no rivals in the known world. Come on Jamie, be a professional. Save those thoughts for later.

"Good evening, Mr. Casey," she said cheerfully. "My name is Jamie and I'll be your driver tonight. Is the itinerary still the same?"

"Yes, yes, just the restaurant." He rudely dismissed her with a wave of his hand, as the three women seated themselves onto the soft upholstered seats.

Jamie closed the door behind the eldest Casey and circled around to the driver's side. Soon the limo was cruising through the posh neighborhood with their perfectly manicured lawns, surrounded by intricate fences, gates and walls that firmly stated, stay out.

Timothy Casey had his hand in many varied business ventures throughout his career, from the airlines to shipping to oil to technologies. It seemed he had the Midas touch, when it came to business and investments. He had enough contacts, around the world, to fill the Astro dome and enough money to buy and support a small country. He was not without his generosities though. He heavily supported many worthy charities and research projects. And when their church had suffered a devastating fire, two years before, he had it rebuilt bigger and better, all from his own pocket. Timothy Casey conducted himself in a tough and intimidating manner. He did not suffer fools and he rarely took no for an answer, but he was mostly well respected by his peers and colleagues. But there were times when he got a little full of himself and couldn't distinguish business attitudes from simple human conduct.

"What did you want to tell us Dad?" asked Bridgett, as they traveled into the city.

"Now, now my dear, there's plenty of time. The evening is just beginning. How are my favorite grandson and granddaughter?"

"Daddy, they're your only grandchildren."

Erin knew what path that comment would lead them down. She pinched the leg that was near her hand.

"Ow!" Bridgett exclaimed softly, receiving the message, loud and clear. "They're fine Dad. Connor has asked to start karate lessons."

"Karate! Bridgett that's so barbaric."

"Actually Mother, it teaches discipline, as well as self defense. Brad and I see nothing wrong with it and we are going to encourage him."

"Just as long as he doesn't start beating up his sister."

"He won't Dad, I promise."

As the car sailed down the highway, Jamie listened in on the family conversation. Curiosity cheered her on and the fact that Casey hadn't bothered putting up the privacy screen aided her task.

Timothy turned to his youngest daughter. "Now, speaking of children..."

Here it comes, thought Erin.

"Just when are you going to settle down and give us another grandchild?"

Erin sighed. "Not now Dad, please."

"Now is the perfect time to discuss this. I relented on this writing thing instead of you going to law school. I understood when you wanted to go to school back east when Jason was staying here, but time is slipping away."

"Dad, I'm only 27. I still have all my own teeth and there's not a gray hair on my head...at least that what Bridgett tells me."

"Don't get smart young lady."

Danielle put a hand on her daughter's arm. "Dear, I thought you wanted children?"

Erin could feel the blue gaze on her, in the rear view mirror. She wanted to answer honestly, but never having discussed the topic with Jamie, was wary to do so.

"Yes Mom, I would like to have a child...someday. But if it never happens, I can deal with it. Right now, I have everything I want and need in my life. Now let's change the subject please."

Ten minutes later, Jamie pulled into the parking lot of the five star restaurant.

The Casey family was soon dining on the best, imported champagne, the most expensive cuts of meats and the tastiest lobster offered on the menu.

After the glorious meal, the vote was unanimous that a short wait for dessert was in order. Erin excused herself and asked Bridgett to help her to the door, saying she needed some air, but reassuring her father that it had nothing to do with his after dinner smoke.

The evening air was a welcomed relief from the heat of the earlier day. "It's a nice night isn't it?" said Bridgett.

"Yes it is." Erin agreed, but her thoughts were not on the atmosphere. She had only thought of Jamie every other second since they had departed earlier. The tall beauty that less than 24 hours before, had said the three incredible words that Erin had waited her whole life to hear and six long weeks to hear from the owner of her heart. "Sis, take me out to the limousine. I want to talk to Jamie for a few minutes."

The red head easily, agreed, but a few things started to puzzle her brain.

Jamie sat inside the long car with the window rolled down, reading a magazine. A feather like tickle, skimmed across the back of her neck. Her eyes drifted over to the side mirror and a slow smile developed. She saw the Casey sisters approaching and tossed the magazine into the front passenger seat. She couldn't appear too excited and pulled in the happy corners of her mouth to a much more neutral expression. She almost over compensated it into a frown, but her insides were on high party mode as Erin drew near.

"It must get awfully boring just sitting in this thing hours on end, as your clients paint the town," said Bridgett.

"It can," said the driver, as she stepped out to join them. "But I can usually find something to occupy my time and my thoughts. Especially lately." She covertly directed her words to the shorter woman. "I have had some very surprising things on my mind in the past few weeks. My life is changing ... and definitely for the better." Jamie could tell from the look on Erin's face that she was whole-heartedly agreeing. "So what's up ladies, why the visit?"

"I needed some fresh air," said Erin.

"Dad just won't give up those cigars, will he," chuckled the older sister, obviously intending to hang around.

A frustrated Erin took a step closer to the car, wracking her brain to come up with a reason for Bridgett to leave.

Jamie, while just as anxious, decided to go with the direct approach. "Bridgett, could Erin and I have a moment alone. I'll make sure she gets back inside."

The red head wasn't thrilled with being dismissed, but another piece of their puzzling relationship was unveiled. She wasn't about to argue, in a darkened parking lot, wearing a designer dress, with her parents waiting inside. "Okay," she said indignantly. "Far be it for me to intrude."

Only when Jamie was sure that Bridgett was far enough away did she ask, with slight alarm, "What are you doing out here? What did you tell your family?"

The blonde shrugged. "Like I said, I needed some air. And I told Bridgett that I wanted to talk to you."

"Well that was subtle."

Erin grinned. "I couldn't very well tell them I wanted to come to the parking lot so I could make out with the chauffeur."

Jamie beamed. "Well, you could tell your father that I'd take that instead of a tip."

"Well that would just be cheating yourself sweetheart, because you're going to get me anyway." Erin stepped back a few feet from the tall driver, looking her up and down.

"What are you doing?"

"Black definitely is your color," she said with a lecherous grin.

Jamie reached for a hand and pulled her closer, leery of watching eyes. Luckily she had pulled into a more shadowy area. "And just how can you be so sure?"

"Oh, Bridgett described these to me," said Erin, fingering the soft material covering a rib cage. "But I do believe I need a more tactile exploration to really be sure."

Jamie's breath caught, as wondering fingers trailed over her thigh. "Isn't your family waiting for you?"

"They can wait a little while longer." Erin searched for the door handle. "Can we get inside...and lock the doors?" Jamie confirmed her earlier observation and couldn't deny the exciting woman's request.

Fifteen minutes had passed and Casey was anxious to continue the evening. "Where is that sister of yours?"

"I'll go get her," said Bridgett.

Careful not to disturb each others clothes to much, Erin and Jamie made out like a couple of teenagers at the drive-in. Well, that was what kids did at some time in the not to distant past, although Jamie had missed out on that particularly carefree experience. But she was more than making up for it now.

"Do you have any idea how much I love kissing you?" Erin asked breathlessly, as she was pressed against the soft, white seat.

"I think so, but convince me some more." Jamie turned her body for more contact.

A tap on the window froze their movements.

Silence, inside and out.

"Come on guys, I know you're in there," Bridgett finally said, with an annoyed tone. "Even though these windows are tinted, I can still tell they're all steamed up."

"I'm sorry," whispered Jamie, as they pulled apart and straightened clothing.

"Don't worry about it." Erin gave her one last quick kiss. "I'm the one who came out here and I don't regret it for a second. No pun intended," she giggled.

The heavy limo door opened and Jamie backed out slowly, helping Erin as she followed. Jamie turned and struck Bridgett with a hard steely gaze, just daring her to say something wrong.

The red head stood there, arms crossed in front of her. "Well, it all makes sense now," she said, rather harshly. "The puzzle finally came together in my slow little brain. And please don't try to deny it. When we went in to the restaurant, Jamie didn't have lipstick on, now she just happens to be wearing your shade."

"That's enough Bridgett!" said Erin. "Stop with accusatory tone. We're grown adults, not your children."

Bridgett snorted and looked away, hurt. "I'm sorry. It's just... how come you never told me Erin?"

"Told you what? About me in general or me and Jamie."

"Both." She shook her head, trying to make more sense of things. "It was a lover's quarrel right? That's why you fell and why you wouldn't give me the whole story."

"Bridgett, I can't stand here and explain this to you now, not that I owe you any...but I do want you to understand how I feel. I am truly in love for the first time in my life and I would like you to be happy for me."

Bridgett said nothing, unable to meet the blue orbs staring at her. "You're right, we don't have time. Mom and Dad are waiting."

"Could you give us just a minute," Jamie asked the perplexed woman.

Bridgett stepped a few feet away and turned, but she still kept them in her peripheral vision.

"I'm so sorry Erin," whispered Jamie. She was afraid to hug her, but Erin didn't seem to have that fear.

She pulled her close and laid her head against a strong shoulder. "Would you stop apologizing. It's okay. She had to know sometime."

"You're right. I'm sor... Never mind," laughed Jamie.

"Good. But I would like to find a better way to tell my parents, when the time comes."

"Yeah." Jamie pulled back enough to place a short, but loving kiss on the author's lips. "You'd better go. But I want you to call me tonight, no matter how late it is."

"I will." With a simple squeeze of their joined hands, Erin stepped toward her sister.

"I know you don't owe me an explanation sis, but I do hope we can talk about this, maybe tomorrow," asked Bridgett, as they made their way back to the restaurant.

"I'm spending all day with Jamie, in the country."

Of course you are, the red head thought sarcastically.

"But we will talk."

Once seated back inside the restaurant and enjoying a fine dessert, Mr. Casey finally made his mysterious announcement.

"Ladies, I have just made the business deal of the century, guaranteed to make me, us household names and provide an income triple my annual income."

Bridgett's eyes flashed with dollar signs and mischief. "What did you do Dad, rob Bill (Gates)?" They were on a first name basis.

"No, my dear, but let's just say, by this time next year, I will be in his tax bracket." He went on to explain, the merger he had arranged and just what business this new company would be performing. He also told them that he was naming his new industrious venture, after the three women in his life. Danielle and her daughters congratulated him and made the proper amount of fuss that they new he expected.

By all means, thought Erin. You're only worth 100 million. Of course you needed a new fortune five hundred company.

During the ride home, Timothy Casey popped open another expensive bottle of imported champagne. He could hold his alcohol well and he was far from being drunk, but drinking tended to make him more abrasive to everyone…except his family. He soon realized that the car had not moved for several minutes.

"Driver, what is the problem?" he asked, gruffly.

"I'm sorry Sir, there is a traffic jam ahead."

"Can't you go around, driver? I hate just sitting here."

Jamie explained calmly. "No Sir, I can't. There are several cars behind us."

Several more minutes passed.

"Driver, go up there and see what the problem is and how long it's going to be."

"Dad," said Bridgett. "She has a name, it's Jamie."

"I don't care what her name is. Just do as I say," he demanded.

Jamie remained calm and tried to make the frustrated man understand. "It's company policy that I don't let the car out of my sight...Sir."

Danielle moved to the opposite seat, next to Erin. She knew to give her husband a wide berth when he got like that. She cringed with his harsh words.

Timothy moved his bulky body up to the seat, closest to the driver. He pulled his smoking case from his jacket pocket and easily clipped off one end of an expensive, imported cigar. "Well, I'm certainly not going any where with it. Now go," he said, with the stogie clenched between his teeth. A flick of his gold lighter made the tobacco glow.

Jamie took a deep breath, but regretted it when the foul smelling smoke entered her nostrils. Even the egotistical celebrities that she had chauffeured had not been as antagonistic as this man. But he was her girlfriend's father and more importantly she thought, professionals maintain control. "Once again, I'm sorry Sir, but I can't."

"Dear, we heard all the sirens," said Danielle. "There must be an accident up ahead."

He dropped back in his original seat, allowing his mumblings to still be heard. "I have a good mind to buy that company and make a few personnel changes. Of all the ignorant...she should have taken a different route."

"How could she know this was going to happen?" reasoned the older sister, hitting the button for the sunroof, to release the smoke.

Erin had been conspicuously quiet during the whole conversation. Jamie was just a little hurt that the woman, who claimed to love her, did not defend her against the ridiculous accusations of the oldest Casey, but at the same time she sort of understood why. Through the rear view mirror, Jamie could see the jaw muscles twitching on the face she loved, as he continued his ranting.

"I told you a stupid woman driver..."

"That's enough!" shouted Erin, surprising everyone in the car. "Dad, she is a human being with feelings. Jamie is doing her job the best she can. None of this is her fault. If you want to know the truth..."

Oh no! Not here sweetheart. I know you're angry Erin, but this is not the time and definitely not the place.

"I am ashamed to be here," continued Erin, with her Irish temper engaged. "And if you say one more derogatory remark to this woman, I will get out of this car and start walking. And you know me Dad, I will do it."

Jamie released the breath she was holding. Her mouth quivered, trying desperately to fight off the smile of pride she was feeling.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he said, properly chastised as the car started to finally roll slowly forward.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to Dad, it's her."

"I won't go that far, young lady. But I will restrain myself from any further outbursts."

Ten minutes later the limo pulled into the winding drive. As soon as Jamie opened the passenger side door, Timothy Casey mowed his way past without a word. His wife, who did manage a smile and a thank you, followed him.

As nonchalantly as possible, Jamie bent to whisper in her love's ear. "Call me in about forty-five minutes."

Erin nodded and was escorted up to the house by her sister.

Jamie closed the door and rounded the front of the car, but she was halted by a voice.

"Miss, please wait." Danielle Casey hurried back down the walkway.

The tall driver turned back. "Yes Ma'am."

"Jamie, please excuse my husband's rude behavior this evening. I know it's not right and not much of a reason, but it's just his way. Accept my apologies and this." She slipped a single bill into Jamie's hand.

She put it into her pocket without looking, as she always did. "Thank you Ma'am." Jamie slid back into the driver's seat and pulled away from Erin's childhood home.

Erin stepped from the soothing heat of the shower and slipped on her fluffy, yellow robe. Bare feet padded across the plush white carpet of her childhood room and she sat on the soft bed, already turned down by the maid. Erin understood that her mother needed the help to care for the fifteen-room house, but she still felt awkward at having someone pampering her. She liked doing for herself. And she never intended to have servants.

The soft splash of raindrops hitting the pane of glass brought a smile to her face. She crossed the room and raised the window, taking in several deep breaths of the rosy scent. Ten chimes of the big grandfather clock down the hall let her know it was time. She pulled the small cell phone from her purse and lay back on the cool, lavender sheets.

Three rings later. "Hi babe," said the velvety voice, waiting for the call.

"Hi yourself. What are you doing?"

"Well, I was a little late getting home and you just caught me heading for the shower. In fact, I'm sitting here without a stitch of clothes on."

Erin groaned. "Oh, don't do that to me. Now I'll never get to sleep. Or better yet, maybe I will drop right off and dream about that all night."

Jamie laughed. "Well, for me, that's a given, no matter what you're wearing. By the way you're not..."

"Sorry, I am lying on my bed, but I do have on a robe."

Jamie thought about that and smiled. "That'll work. I love unwrapping gifts."

Erin pulled the thick collar away from her heated neck at the topic of their conversation. "Could we change the subject? I'd rather not have to do what I would have to do otherwise, in my parents' home. Not that I haven't..."

Jamie chuckled. "You are a wicked woman Erin Casey."

"I plan to show you just how wicked, sometime...but for now I am soooo sorry for the way my father treated you tonight. I can't believe him."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You can't control your father's behavior, although you did a pretty good job of it at one point."

"Well, I had to do something," said Erin. "My blood was boiling. Do you have to put up with people like him often?"

"Sometimes, but not in a while. So you're staying at your parent's tonight?"

"Yeah. Mom will drive me home after breakfast, which she will insist I have. So our plans are still on, right?"

"Absolutely. I'll be at your place about ten. Speaking of your Mom, she's kind of cool. She came back out to apologize and gave me a tip."

"My father stiffed you!"

"Yeah, but that's okay. I doubt your father would have tipped a hundred dollars on a good day."

Erin chuckled. "That's probably right, but it should have been five hundred for the abuse you took."

"I'm pretty thick skinned. I had to learn to be early on. It's late, you'd better get some sleep. And I have to go get wet." She giggled lasciviously.

"Now who's being wicked Jamie Shea Sheridan."

Jamie took note of her lover's tone. "Should I worry when you use my full name?"

"Oh yes. Goodnight sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you to. Goodnight."

Chapter 11

"Good morning dear," said Danielle, as she met her daughter at the bottom of the stairs. She always cringed at watching her visually challenged daughter, navigate the long staircase. It took her a long time, but she had learned not to be to over protective.

"Good morning Mom." Erin slipped an arm around her mother's petite waist. Of the two girls, Erin most resembled her mother. They were both the same size with twinkling green eyes, her mother's just a shade darker. They also shared the same hair color, but Danielle's was just starting to show her age.

A variety of delicious aroma's greeted the two women as they made their way out onto the patio. "I thought we'd eat out here today," explained Danielle. "Your father had an early golf game, so it's just us."

"That's nice. I miss our time together."

Danielle kissed the top of the blonde head, as Erin seated herself. "So do I dear. Now what can I get you?"

"Just coffee and croissants please."

"Sweetheart, that isn't much."

Erin dropped her head and smiled. Having had this conversation so many times before, she just gave in to save herself time. "Okay. I'll have some fresh fruit and a small helping of eggs. But I have plans for lunch, so I don't want to fill up."

Danielle set a plate in front of her daughter and proceeded to prepare her own. Erin poured a splash of cream and two spoonfuls of sugar into her freshly brewed coffee and stirred, careful of the sterling silver spoon tapping against the expensive china cup.

"Tell me about your plans dear."

She hesitated for just a moment, choosing her words carefully. "I...I'm going up to the mountains with a friend, for a picnic and horseback riding." Erin hated lying to her parents and had only told a couple of small whites to save their feelings.

"That sounds like fun." Danielle took on a wistful expression. "Your father and I used to go on picnics...a long time ago," she added sadly. "Of course he would laugh if I were to suggest one now. I'm sure he would say, why do you want to drive all the way to the country just to eat lukewarm food on the hard ground, when we have this beautiful dining room."

Erin read the underlying melancholy in her mother's voice. Her emotional glasses seemed to be rose colored when it came to her Mother's happiness, but that spark of life appeared to be missing in her demeanor of late. Erin placed a comforting hand on her mother's. "Mom, are you okay? I mean really okay?"

Danielle sighed, but smiled at her precious daughter. "Yes sweetheart, I'm fine," she said with a false confidence.

"You may be fine, but you're not happy are you?"

"Oh Erin, don't mind me." Danielle swept her arms across the view. "I am sitting in the lap of luxury, what more could I want," she said with an unbelieving giggle. She was determined not to clutter her daughter's life with her petty problems. The maid, saying there was a phone call for Mrs. Casey, halted further conversation.

Danielle returned to the table a few minutes later. "I'm sorry that took so long. I'm chairing the annual church dance. You will be coming this year won't you dear?"

Erin sighed and pushed the food around on her plate. "I'll give a donation, Mom. But I don't think I'll be attending this time."

"But it's the perfect social setting for meeting some nice young man. I'm sure Jason would come if he knew you'd be there."

What is it with my sister and my mother and Jason, she thought with exasperation. Maybe it's because he's the only man they ever saw me date, she reasoned. At least Bridgett knows the truth now. I never have to lie to her again. But... "Mom, I'm not interested in Jason. We dated ten years ago in high school, that's all. I'm sure he's not sitting around, pining away for me."

"But you didn't just date, you went steady and he has asked about you. Yes, his mother said he's seen other women, but apparently he's never forgotten about you."

"He was the only boy I really trusted back then," said Erin. High school was so confusing for Erin, as it is with many gay teens. She found herself looking at the females running around with their shorts and tight tops, whereas a boy without his shirt, showing off his muscles, did nothing for her. She could never join in the "boyfriend" talks with the other girls, who she suspected were mostly just exaggerating, but she had no basis to really judge. She had no one with which to talk to about all the conflicting emotions and physical feelings filtering through her body. She had been friends with Jason since grade school and when her parents pressed her to start dating, act like a normal teenager her father had put it, she accepted Jason's offer. She never let him get passed the kissing, hand holding stage and he never pressured her for anything more and for that she appreciated who he really was and came to love him, but only as a dear friend. Only when Erin went to college, did she finally feel comfortable enough to begin exploring other options. In the middle of her sophomore year, Erin discovered that her roommate was gay, but she felt no attraction to her, other than friendship. It took her another month after the discovery, to finally discuss the topic with Anne.

The pre-med student was very compassionate and patient with her many questions. They had, on several occasions, visited a lesbian bar, close to campus. Erin wasn't scared so much as cautious and selective. Anne had warned her of diseases and educated her on safe practices. Only when Erin met Megan did it seem right. They shared many things in common, including a heritage. The short, red head was also an English major and many study sessions led to heated, lingering kisses. Because she truly cared for Megan, and more importantly trusted her and respected her, did she decide to take that important step. After spending a fun, festive March afternoon together, celebrating St. Patrick, they spent a loving night in each other's arms, both sharing their bodies for the first time. Although it was a wonderful experience and Megan was gentle and patient, as was she, but Erin still felt something missing. She wanted that special feeling that she had always dreamed of, an experience where two souls connected. She and Megan continued to see each other and had some great times, but even though it was unspoken, each knew it was not a lasting love. Their romantic relationship returned to a friendship, long before their graduation.

Erin still held a warm place in her heart for the young Irish woman and they had talked many times, especially after Erin's accident. Erin was so happy when she learned that Megan had found the love of her life and was a bit envious, until that amazing June evening when it was finally her turn to be complete.

"Are you dating someone now Erin?" asked her mother, pulling Erin from her thoughts of school.

The piece of green melon stopped half way to her mouth. "Why do you ask, Mom?"

"Because I'm curious. And I happened to be walking by your room last night and overheard the last of you're phone conversation," she added, timidly.

I'm gonna have to make sure that my door is closed tight from now on. Erin returned the food to her nearly empty plate and cleared her throat. "Yes Mom, I am seeing someone."

Danielle broke out in a huge smile of joy and relief. She wanted her youngest daughter to be as happy as her oldest, as happy as she had once been. But she prayed that Erin would find a lifelong happiness. "That's wonderful dear. When can we meet him?"

Erin released a breath and consented her conscience to tell another ivory fib. The truth would come later...much later. "Mom, this is a new relationship and I need to give it time. We need to concentrate on us first. I promise you when the time is right, I will introduce you."

"All right," said Danielle. "Can I at least know his name?"

It is gender neutral I guess and she'll really grill me if I don't tell her something. "It's Jamie."

Danielle Casey hugged her daughter for several parental seconds. "Well, I'm sure he's very nice and I'm happy for you," she finally said, planting a kiss to Erin's forehead.

Oh boy, thought the author through her smile.

"My mother overheard me say goodnight to you last night," said Erin to the woman seated next to her.

"And," prompted Jamie, as she guided her SUV down the winding road, toward the ranch in the California hills.

"And, she asked me if I was seeing someone and I said yes, but that we needed time and she would get to meet you soon. I did tell her your name though."

Jamie nodded absently. "But not that I'm a woman. Good," she sighed. "After the drive last night, I bet your father will want to kill when we finally meet and I ain't ready to die just yet."

"Sweetheart, my father won't even remember you. Even if I took you home tomorrow."

"If you say so." Jamie tried desperately to hide her concern.

The golden palomino galloped across the lush, emerald pasture, her white mane flying freely behind her. On her back, two riders enjoyed the warm sun, shining down on them and the breeze created, as the animal's strong legs carried them away. Two fair arms were wrapped tightly around a taught abdomen and a smile-laden face pressed against a strong back. The tall woman, holding the reins, echoed the expression, but with just an added touch of sadness, not because of her riding companion, but because of her own regretful memories.

"I love you," said Erin. She felt the reaction in the body molded to her, as the horse was slowed to a gentle walk. "Okay, what was that for?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh no." Erin pulled a tanned cheek around and gave it an understanding kiss and a reminder. "Talk and listen, remember?"

Jamie responded with a subdued smile "Yeah, I remember. There's a grove of trees just ahead. We'll stop there and talk, okay?" Jamie felt the nod, as the yellow head resumed its previous position.

Carefully dismounting and securing the horse to a branch, Jamie led her friend to the shade of a tall oak. They sat cross-legged, knee-to-knee. Jamie needed the space, but at the same time craved the contact that their positions offered.

Erin softly rubbed a jean-covered knee. "Okay, why did you stiffen up when I said I love you?"

Jamie fidgeted with the long blade of grass she had liberated from the ground nearby, and sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she said around the knot in her gut. "I love...to hear you say that."

Erin smiled. "Good, because I love to say it. And I intend to say it for the rest of my life. You do intend to be around to hear it that long, don't you?"

There was a hesitation. Fear gripped Erin's heart and she grabbed for a hand.

"Jamie, you're not having second thoughts, are you?" A deep intake of breath was heard.

"No. I don't want to, but..."

"I don't like buts. Actually, I am very fond of one in particular." Erin grinned and got the response she hoped for.

A slight chuckle broke the tension. "Well, the feeling is very much mutual. I do love you Erin, no doubt about it."

"But you still have doubts about a relationship?"

"My doubts are all about me. I...I had a dream last night. I thought I had gotten over the guilt." Jamie threw aside the blade of grass in frustration.

"That kind of guilt doesn't just vanish in an instant," Erin explained patiently. "I know that. I just ask that you keep trying." She raised the hand in hers and gave it a kiss. "On the beach the other night, you gave yourself permission to love and to be loved. I don't know if that's easy for anyone. Most people worry about getting hurt. But you worry most about causing the hurt. And I understand why, but I want you to get passed that, no matter how long it takes. I want you to be happy because you deserve it. Tell me about the dream," she asked quietly.

"It was about Sandy. The same things I told you the other night. She was on her knees begging and whining, telling me that she loved me and pleading with me to say I loved her. Finally I did, just to shut her up. But of course I didn't mean it. It just got worse from there. She wouldn't leave me alone no matter how rude I was to her. She was there at my door all the time; she followed me around like a shadow. That's when I set it up for her to see me with another woman and..." Jamie angrily wiped the tears falling from her eyes.

Erin covered both knees in front of her with consoling hands. "Jamie, you can't continue to see her blood on your hands. Sandy was an extremely dependent person with severe emotional and maybe even mental problems. She would have latched onto anyone and ended up with disastrous results. They were her problems."

"That doesn't matter. She is still dead because of what I did."

Erin called on the knowledge she had learned in school. "Did you want her to die?"

"No, of course not! I just wanted her to leave me alone."

"That's right, that's all you wanted. Maybe what you did was a little harsh, but you had no idea she would run in front of that car. It was a tragic accident, but that's all it was...an accident."

Jamie grasped at irrational straws. "But if I would have just seen that she had problems, maybe I could've helped, instead..."

Erin scooted herself around and wrapped her arms around her hurting friend. "Sweetheart, you were suffering from your own emotional difficulties at the time. You were in no condition to recognize hers. Uncontrollable circumstances led you to make a misguided decision. But you are not responsible for her death."

There was a long silence as the dark haired woman processed every bit of information.

"I am not responsible for her death," she whispered, after several long moments.

Much hugging and consoling caresses followed until the tears had vanished and the sobs quieted. "But it still hurts," admitted Jamie.

"I know. That's because you have an incredibly caring soul."

"But, I never thought I had a soul at all, until I read your book and wasn't absolutely certain until I met you. You are very special Erin Casey. You saved my soul."

One gentle kiss became two and then three turned into four. Two entwined bodies lowered themselves onto the plush carpeting of green. Hands roamed over cloth-covered curves. Breaths were shared and actions were quickly heading toward the point of no return. Suddenly lips ceased their actions and foreheads met.

"We should stop," came Jamie's breathless suggestion.

"Yes," agreed the flushed blonde.

The tall woman rolled onto her back beside the smaller body. They both giggled. "This is getting harder to resist, isn't it?" asked Jamie.

"Yeah, but we can't do this here."

Jamie moved onto her side and propped her head on her hand. "How do you know so much about psychology anyway?" she asked of their previous conversation.

"I minored in it in college. I thought it would help me develop better fictional characters, if I understood why we human animals, do the things we do."

"Guess it worked huh?" Jamie plucked a strand from the blonde head.

"Was that a gray hair?" Erin asked, through a yawn.

"No silly it was grass."

Jamie leaned over for a simple, but loving kiss. "You won't have any gray hairs for a long time. And even then I will tell you that you are even more beautiful then you are on this day."

Erin smiled. Hearing Jamie talk about a future together filled her with a joy unsurpassed by anything she had ever felt before.

Fuzz tickled her chin, and then stopped. There it was again. Erin reached up and brushed away the irritant with fingers protruding from the tan wrap. A few seconds later it was back, strong enough this time to bring her to reality. Her head rested on a firm, denim-clad thigh. Three hands covered her rumbling, stomach. "I guess I fell asleep huh?"

"That you did, but that's okay. You've only been out about thirty minutes," said Jamie as she checked her watch and tossed aside the tickling flower. That hand came back down and resumed stroking the soft blonde hair beneath her fingertips. "Didn't you sleep well at your parents house last night?"

"I slept fine." A huge happy smile crossed her face. "In fact I had a dream too."

"A good one I hope."

"A very good one. In fact it was a reoccurring dream that I used to have as a little girl. But I haven't had it in about thirteen years."

"Maybe it was just being in your old room."

"Possibly, but I think it's more. You want to hear it?" Erin asked with an anxious lilt.

"Absolutely."

Erin pulled their entwined hands under her chin as she explained. "I was playing in this huge meadow, filled with wild flowers and tall grass that tickled my bare legs as I ran through it. There were a couple of tall trees, but there was one in particular. It didn't stand nearly as tall as the others, mostly because it leaned sideways. It was so unusual looking, like its branches were reaching for something. The trunk was pretty thick and it had a lot of low hung branches, perfect for climbing, so that's what I did. Couldn't go very high, but it was still fun. I was sitting on a strong branch swinging my legs and watching a hawk that was flying off in the distance. All of a sudden I hear a voice asking if they could play to. I climbed down and met this little girl. I told her my name and we started playing. We climbed in the tree, chased each other through the meadow and back again, made daisy chain necklaces." She smiled, remembering. "I had never had so much fun, as I did with her. I had the dream many times, but she never told me her name. And the next day, I could never remember what she looked like. All I could remember was seeing long dark hair bouncing around as I chased her. We were the best of friends; I knew that right away. And I felt safe with her, not that I was really afraid of anything, she just made me feel... protected.

Jamie had her head leaned back against the tree and her eyes closed, picturing the scene.

Erin laced the fingers of their joined hands and squeezed. "I had the dream again last night, but it was a little different. We played all day long and started to walk back to our tree, hand in hand. We got there and she turned to me. I finally got to see her face. Then she said...my name is Jamie and I'll be your best friend forever."

Her revelation was met with silence, but curiosity got the better of her. She carefully reached up from her reclined position and touched the quiet face. A huge, happy smile greeted her fingertips.

"I was just trying to imagine what you looked like as a little girl," explained Jamie, playfully nipping the exploring fingers.

"I had much longer hair and a few freckles across my nose, which have thankfully faded. Bridgett described me as too cute for my own good. But I was never sure if she meant my looks or my personality," she chuckled. "I have some pictures at home if you're really curious."

That got a big reaction from the tall woman. "Of course I am! I'd like to know everything about you. I don't suppose your mother has any of those embarrassing type baby photos. You know the ones with your cute, little, naked butt showing."

Erin blushed. "Yes, I'm afraid she does."

"Can't wait." It was now Jamie's turn to yawn and stretch her long legs. "I wish we had known each other as children," she said wistfully. "Maybe you could have saved me from falling into that dark spiral of anger."

"So do I sweetheart. But everything happens for a reason. We found each other when we were supposed to. We've come together to stop the loneliness, heal the wounds...reunite a soul."

They lay there a few more minutes, each thinking about the same subject, desiring the same thing.

"Jamie?"

"Yeah."

"I need to ask you something."

"Okay. You can ask me anything."

"Are you...I mean have you ever...been tested?" She heard Jamie chuckle. "What's funny about that?"

"Nothing," said Jamie. "To answer your question, yes, I got tested right after I moved here and it was negative."

Erin was relieved after hearing the story of her rough past.

"I was laughing because I was remembering something. On my lunch hour, just a few days after I met you, I found myself at the clinic, getting another test, just to be sure. I never gave it any serious thought as to why I did it, but I guess my subconscious knew we would end up here. That was negative too, by the way."

Erin explained that she had only had one sexual partner and that they were both virgins, so she was confident in her health.

They shared a few more serious thoughts and a few laughs until Jamie gathered up the horse's reins and announced it was time to head back.

"Can we just walk for a little while?" asked Erin.

"Sure."

With their arms around the others waist and the horse trailing behind, they trekked back across the meadow.

Erin took a deep breath of scented air. "Are there flowers around here somewhere?"

Jamie looked around in an arc. "Yeah, as a matter of fact, wait here." She handed over the leather reins.

Just a few seconds later, she heard Jamie's footsteps brushing through the tall grass.

"For you," said Jamie, placing the white and yellow bloom in Erin's left hand.

She brought the flower to her nose and recognized it. "A daisy."

Jamie reclaimed a hand and started off.

Nature's calming notes blanketed them in peace as they walked along. But a sudden screech of a bird halted their movements.

"I don't think I've ever heard a hawk around here before." Jamie tracked its flight across the sky and when her head came back down, she saw it.

Erin heard the sharp intake of breath beside her. "What?"

"I don't believe it," said Jamie, with awe.

"What is it?"

Silence.

Erin hated this kind of silence. "Jamie, please tell me what's wrong?"

The nervous timber of her love's voice pulled Jamie from her reverie. "It's okay Sweetheart. There's nothing wrong."

Erin visibly relaxed. "Good. Then mind telling me what has your attention?"

Jamie pointed a long finger off to the south. "It's a...I mean it looks like...but I don't know how..."

Erin snapped impatient fingers in front of a mesmerized face. "A few more coherent words if you please. What are you seeing?"

"It's your tree," she said, dumbfounded.

"My tree?"

"Yes. The one you described from you're dream."

Erin laughed. "You're kidding."

"No. There it is about a hundred feet in front of us." Jamie shook her head, still in disbelief. "All the times I've been out here and I don't remember it. I mean there are a lot of trees around, but that one is unusual."

"Come on." Erin pulled the dark haired woman forward, trusting her to offer directions.

When they reached the oddity, Erin put both hands against it, feeling the rough bark. She made a complete circle, knowing just when to step over one of it's large, above ground roots. "This is it," she said with glee and reached above her to grab a thick branch. Lifting her feet, she slightly swung her body. "The daisy, the hawk and now the tree. This is where my dream took place, even though I never knew it existed."

Jamie stepped forward and took the lithe woman into her arms. "Hi, my name is Jamie and I'll be your best friend forever."

The kiss that followed sealed their connection and locked their hearts together for an eternity...again.

Continued in Part 4.