Looking across the room at Sloane I wonder yet again, what had happened between us? We were together for over two years. We were happy and so in love than one day poof, she tells me she doesn't love me anymore.

I had no idea that Sloane was going to be at Anij's party. The wench didn't tell me and as soon as I saw Anij, I was going to let my displeasure be known by strangling her to death. She knew I was still in love with Sloane and her presence here tonight was like a slap in the face.

I look up to find Sloane's eyes on me but they quickly slide away when our eyes meet. That has happened a lot tonight and I swear I see pain and regret in her eyes but than again, our breakup proves that I didn't know her quite as well as I thought I did.

I finally spot Anij across the room talking to some people near the punch. I make my way over to her nodding to those who say hi but not stopping to chat. "I'm leaving," I say softly into her ear as I give her a quick squeeze on her shoulder. I know, I know
I said that I was going to kill her but we've been friends since kindergarten and her mom, not to mention mine, would kill me if I harmed a hair on her head.

"Why?" Anij whispered while excusing herself.

"You know damn well why woman. What were you thinking? You know what seeing her does to me."

"Look she?" Anij began to talk but I cut her off.

"No you don't seem to understand. I feel as if someone stomps on my heart every time I have the misfortune of seeing her in public. I still wake up reaching for her in the middle of the night and I can still smell her in the all my linen even though I have washed it a thousand times." I answer with tears breaking through in my voice.

"I'm sorry babe?I didn't realize." Anij replied with remorse.

"I know babe ?? I appreciate you wanting me to have some kind of closure? but I just can't?" I said while stuttering.

"I'm so, so sorry Trin," Anij whispered while hugging me tightly. "I only invited her because some of our mutual friends have told me that she has been asking about you, wondering if you were seeing anyone. I figured she was regretting her decision and wanted you back. I promise from now on, I'll stay out of it."

"Thanks for trying but not everyone can be as happy as you and the cop." I responded.

"I know but it doesn't stop me from trying " Anij replied with a wistful smile.

" I know and so does everybody else. Why do you think most of the single and happy to be single people who know you stay far, far away?" I said while laughing gently.

"Eat me!" Anij snorted.

"Ooohhh I think not! You happen to be married to a woman who carries a gun. See you babe, I'll call you tomorrow." I told her as I turned to leave.

"Alright darling. You be good and don't be mad at me too much" Anij said while giving me a quick smooch on the cheek before starting to circulate among her guests.

My eyes made one last pass around the room. Sloane was nowhere to be seen. "Oh well I really didn't want to talk to her anyway," Knowing that I was lying through my teeth as I mumbled it.

Leaving the house, I stopped and looked at the sky, breathing in the fresh air and letting the tension flow from my body.

"Hello Trinity" Sloane said in a quiet voice.

Hearing her voice again after all this time was a shock. The real shock came when I turned to look at her, really look at her for the first time in six months. She looked tired and run down, as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. The part of me that was my inner bitch was jumping for joy, but the part of me that would always be hers wanted to take her into my arms and slay all her dragons.

I remember the first time we met. It was at another one of A's parties. She was there with the woman that she had been seeing for about a month and I took one look at her and knew that I had to have her. I badgered my friend until she introduced us. We spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything. Needless to say, her date was not happy but I didn't care. It wasn't my fault that's she couldn't keep Sloane's attention.

I don't think Sloane thought I was serious until as she was leaving I gave her a quick but passionate kiss on the lips when her date went to get their coats. You see Sloane is forty five and I'm twenty six. The surprise on her face was priceless and the blush that spread from the tips of her ears down her chest made me laugh.

It took me two months of me calling, sending her flowers, silly little poems to her email, and badgering anyone who happened to know her to put a good word in for me until she finally agreed to go out with me. It was the happiest day of my life until the day we made love.

You know how they say when you find your true soul mate; your souls merge every time you make love. Well it was like that with Sloane and I. It took me a long time to convince her that she was perfect in my eyes. So what if she had a tummy, wrinkles, and her breasts weren't perky anymore. She was round in all the right places. Who wants to make love to a bag of bones anyway? She was my dream come true and all these make out, grinding sessions with our clothes on were driving me crazy.

When the day finally came, we went out to dinner and dancing. I held her close, running my hands all over her body. I could feel her nipples straining against my chest and her breathing start to speed up. I knew tonight was going to be the night.

Without a word, I took her hand and led her out of the club. The ride home was a quiet one, my hand rubbing her thigh the entire time. I moved my hand higher and higher until my hand was snuggled in her crotch and the wetness I felt there made me press down on the gas a little harder. I prayed that we would not get pulled over as I put my fingers in my mouth, tasting her essence for the first time.

The car barely stopped moving before I was pulling her from the car and into my house. I fumbled to open the door as my hands were shaking from excitement. It didn't help that she was pressed up against my back with her hands rolling my nipples. Finally, I got the door open and we both stumbled into the house. As I turned to close the door, I felt her hand cupping my mound. After that, I don't know what happened.

I had her pressed against the door, tearing her clothes off and scattering them around the room. I devoured her nipples, biting and sucking hard on the one in my mouth while rolling and pulling on the other. Sloane's hands in my hair urged me closer, threatening to pull the hair from my scalp as I rolled her nipple between my tongue and teeth. Moving my mouth slowly down her body, I kissed her stomach, sucking bits into my mouth, leaving my marks all over her body.

Thrusting my tongue in and out of her belly button, I enjoyed the whimpers that emerged from her mouth. Slowly moving my hands from her hips to her ass, I pressed her closer to my mouth. Kneading and scratching her cheeks with my nails, I moved my way slowly downward, ignoring her hands pushing me down to where she needed me the most.

Taking a deep breath, I smelled her unique scent. I took it deep into my lungs, savoring the salty sweetness of it all. I breathed on her mound driving her crazy until she begged "PLEASE?. eat me."

My tongue dove into her cunt, lapping up her juices, savoring her taste in my mouth. I thrust two fingers deep into her, while taking her clit and sucking it deep in my mouth. I batted it with my tongue, while curling my fingers in her cunt, enjoying the flood of fluids that escaped.

I pressed closer so that my torso was supporting her body and ran my free hand back up to her nipple. I pinched it hard between my fingers while doing the same to her clit with my teeth. She tensed and her orgasm hit her like a sledgehammer.

I continued to suck, thrust, and pinch as she recovered. I slowly pulled back when she shuddered and pushed my head away. "Enough" She said breathlessly, as she slid down the wall into my arms.

" I love you Sloane. You know that don't you?" I whispered quietly to her.

"Yes, I love you too, Trin, but I just have to ask, why me? You could have had anyone you wanted, why me? Sloane asked with wonder in her voice.

"Because you're mine. You have always been mine. It just took me twenty six years to find you." I replied with all the passion I was feeling at that moment.

Sloane started to cry and I sat there just holding her. I reassured her that I wasn't going anywhere and that everything would be okay. For a while it was. The family finally seemed to accept me, especially her son. He had a ball teasing his me & and his mom about her woman toy, but it wasn't malicious. She finally opened up that one part of herself that she had been hiding from me, just waiting for me to break her heart and she was actually considering moving in with me. My house was bigger and it had all my equipment so that I could work from home.

About six months before we broke up, she became distant, then mean, and finally, she broke my heart. I hadn't talked to her since the day she came by my house to get her things.

Now here she is seeking me out after six months of hell.

"Hello Sloane, nice to see you. I'm sorry I'm just on my way home, see ya." I said while moving quickly off the porch.

"Wait Trin please. I really need to talk to you." Sloane called out.

"Excuse me." I said turning back toward her.

"I need to talk to you, please. Can we talk?" She said in a pleading tone.

"You have got to be shitting me. I begged you to talk to me for two months after we broke up and you flicked me off like I was an annoying knat and not someone you said you loved." I replied angrily.

"I had my reasons Trin. At the time I thought I was doing what was best for both of us." She said with a quivering voice.

"Ripping my heart out and stomping it into a bloody mess was good for me. FUCK YOU!!!!" I screamed as I stomped off the porch.

"Trin, I have cancer." She screamed at my back.

My legs seemed to lose all motor skills as I swung back around to face Sloane. I fell flat on my ass as my legs gave way.

"Trinity I have breast cancer." She repeated quietly.

"What, when, how?" I asked drunkenly.

"Remember when I had that doctors appointment that day you had a showing and couldn't make it," she began.

"Yes, but?" I started to say.

" They found a lump, baby. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I didn't think it was anything serious. After they did the biopsy, it turned out to be malignant. I went into shock."

"I had all these things going through my mind and then I started thinking about you, how young you were and how much of your life you had to live without being tied down to a woman you were going to feel obligated to take care of and who would probably die. I didn't want to put you through that so I let you go. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do and my son has still not forgiven me for letting his favorite playmate go." She said with a sad small on her face.

"Sloane why, why didn't you tell me? Don't give me that shit about my age or being tied to a dying woman. I would never feel obligated to take care of you. I would have laid down my life for you. MY GOD WOMAN I loved you. How many times and in how many ways did I have to prove it to you" I broke down after that. I let myself cry for all of the things that could have been and all the time that had been wasted.

I felt her arms surround me and I pulled her into my arms. I held her tight, a little too tight as I heard her grunt in pain.

"You had no right." I muttered repeatedly as I rocked her in my arms.

"Sssshhhh it will be alright baby. I promise." She whispered soothingly into my ear.

"Why are you telling me this now Sloane? Why after all this time?" I asked tearfully.

"The plain and simple truth is I missed you?so, so much. I finally talked to someone who made me see what a selfish and scared asshole I was being." Sloane looked towards the front of the house and I saw Anij standing there watching us with tears in her eyes.

" Would you two hurry it up, I cannot stop people from leaving for too much longer." Anij called to us.

We both laughed and picked ourselves off the ground. "Come home with me?" I whispered.

She nodded her head and I gave her hand a quick squeeze and sprinted up onto the porch to give Anij a bone crushing hug.

"Put me down you big lug." Anij swatted at my hands.

"Thank you" I whispered in her ear as I sprinted back to my lady.

We went to my home and stayed up all night talking. We laughed, we cried and I threatened to kill her myself it she ever did something so stupid ever again.

I found out that she had had the lump removed but the cancer had spread to other nodes. The Oncologist wanted to try some alternative therapies but she had no idea what she was going to do. She didn't want to talk to her son about any of it because he got too upset and she hated to see her baby cry.

One of my friends happened to be Oncology nurse so I made an emergency 0436 phone call that morning. I got cursed out but forgiven once she found out why I was calling. She came over and we spent the rest of the night and morning talking alternatives to chemo.

Whatever she decided we were going to face the future together.


EPILOUGE

Sloane and I are back together, just in case you had any doubt. She had to have both of her breasts removed because the cancer was spreading and it was the safest choice.

I was there to hold her when she was puking from the radiation treatments.

I was there when she woke up from surgery after she had her mastectomies and she realized that she didn't have breasts anymore. When I think she truly realized the seriousness of her condition. It hit her hard. I gladly kissed away her tears and told her I liked her ass better anyway.

I think she finally realizes I'm not going anywhere.

Feedback welcome: dani_muse69@yahoo.com

11 January 2004 by Dani