~ Fields of Grey ~
by Danielle Kearns


Disclaimer: They're not mine. They belong to Ren Pic and I'm just borrowing them for the time being.

Spoilers: Contains spoilers for "God Fearing Child" If you haven't seen it, don't read this.

This is my take on the conversation Xena has with her daughter, Eve, right after she born.

The song "Fields of Gray" belongs to Bruce Hornsby. He has the copyright on the song


There are so many things that I am feeling right now. I don't know how to describe it but all I can say is that this feeling I have is absolute joy. The moment I found out that I held you precious life in my hands I was so scared. Scared that I wouldn't be the kind of mother that you deserved, scared that I couldn't protect you from all of the dangers out there, and scared that you would always be a target for my enemies. But the one thing that scared me the most was that Gabrielle would treat me differently.

Lemme tell you, she had a hard time with this when I first told her I was having a baby, but soon she really warmed to the idea and has grown to love you as much as I do. I know that with her help I can be the kind of mother that you deserve and I know that I can't do this without her.

It's time like this when I think of your older brother, Solan, and my heart breaks all over again. I wasn't able to be the kind of mother to him that he deserved. I have always regretted the day I had to give him up and now I feel I have a second chance with you. I never had a chance to see him take his first step and I never got the chance to hear him call me "Mommy." My heart broke the day he died and my heart still aches because you never get the chance to grow up with him. But there is one thing that I want you to remember always:

There'll be blue skies falling

There'll be good scenes and bad dreams

In a world so uncertain

Through the clouds it's hard to see

I will grab you and carry you

Calm your fears when you're afraid

We'll go walking

Across the fields of gray

The End

Feedback is good. Please let me know what you think.

Danielle.Kearns@bmge.com



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