Cross of Memory by Darkhorse

"I love you, Liv."

She could feel the burn of those words along the back of her neck, the body behind her snuggling closer. She tamed the sigh she wanted to release. Love? She'd expected it; felt it was coming for a while. Yet she still wasn't able to prepare herself.

Her eyes closed in the darkness. Only a second later they snapped open, eyelids rebelling against the images they trapped inside. Her body kneeling on the unforgiving concrete sidewalk, the roughness biting into her knees. The blood pooling around her hand so red. Lively and vibrant color ironically enough. Those eyes, the ones she had stared into so many times before, always with fire, now looking toward the heavens without blinking. Without seeing. Without life?

That was the fear. She could feel it then, could still taste it now. Death was approaching, hailing a taxi to come there as she crouched whispering words that her heart and lips had decided and left her mind out of the loop.

She'd seen it before. Walking up to a scene, the waves of death floating in the air. The perps who reveled in it, wearing it like she wore her badge. And worst of all, the vics who wished for it, prayed it would come. Death was a constant presence in her life, but they would never be friends.

So many times she'd been on the brink, but whenever she thought she was finally at the head of the line she was yanked away. That's what partners were for.

She closed her eyes, willing a heavy blankness to come over her. There it was. That scene again. She could remember it like yesterday. It was her job to notice details. The shallow breaths. The cooling skin. Passers-by doing everything but passing by the morbid scene. Her emotions locked up like a damn. Maybe she was in shock. The blood continuing to leak life onto the ground. She didn't make a move for it. It was all too much. Too surreal to be happening again. Robbing her a second time.

She'd done all she could, continued even long after that night had given way to the next. That's what partners were for. To cover your back. To be a shoulder to cry on should that vice-grip on emotion ever slip. To guard the broken pieces of a shattered existence when a family life, smoldering for so long, finally went up in flames. Partners did that job. They carried that burden.

Arms tightened around her. She'd turned over to escape but when had that ever been possible. It was too soon, but everything was in a wicked infinite loop. How could there be a right time when everything was so wrong. Lips branded her neck with a kiss.

"Love you too, El."

End