Sex: Yup.

Violence: That too.

Angst: Probably.

This story is going to be slightly long, but I promise it´ll be updated frequently. (There´s nothing worse than having to wait, is there?) Okay, since all that´s been taken care of, I´ll just shut up and let the tale begin. Comments are welcome at: dayze11@hotmail.com

Copyright © 1999 by Day

Part 7

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Wake up, Frederic." The low, but insistent voice penetrated the young man´s dream and he reluctantly opened his eyes, only to stare directly into the barrel of a gun inches from his face. "You got company."

First his body went rigid in fear, but then his gaze moved past the gun and further up where he was met with an icy blue gaze. "Lie-Lieutenant?" He whispered hesitantly, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What´s going on?"

"You tell me," Jo answered coldly, her face blank. "What were you doing with the Military Police, or more importantly, what did you tell them?"

Unconsciously she raised an eyebrow, emphazising her question and the agent swallowed a few times, not liking the emotionless expression in his superior´s eyes. "I… I… It wasn´t like that, ma´am," he began hurriedly, trying to ignore the gun still pointing at his face. "I was brought in for questioning, just ask Hansen, he´ll confirm it."

"I know why you were there, Frederic, that´s not what interests me. I want to know what you told them that was important enough to warrant a ride home." She looked directly into his eyes, her own narrowing as she continued softly, "And it better be good, Sergeant. Very good."

The agent tried to swallow again, but found that his mouth had gone dry. Taking a deep breath he began his explanation, knowing that his life depended on whether Delaine liked what she heard. "I was brought in and they asked me several questions, apparently they´ve been watching me for a couple of weeks. They kept accusing me of belonging to the Organisation, saying that if only I would give up the names of my colleagues my life would be spared."

Jo snorted and he gave her a wary smile, "Yeah, I know, even I am not that stupid. I told them I had no idea what they were talking about, that I had nothing to do with terrorists and that I would report anybody I only suspected fraternized with the enemy."

"Did they believe you?"

Frederic let out a shaky breath, his gaze straying to the gun and then back to Jo´s face, tired resignation showing in his eyes "No, ma´am, they didn´t."

For a few seconds a heavy silence stretched between them then Jo lowered the gun, keeping her finger on the trigger. "What then?"

"I had to give them something," the young man whispered, slowly sitting up on the bed now the gun was out of his face. "I had to tell them something, anything, or they would kill me."

Jo´s expression didn´t change, "What did you tell them?"

Frederic looked her square in the eye, his voice growing almost defiant, "I told them I had been approached. I told them that a man approached me some time ago, offering me a huge amount of money if I would supply him with information about certain new sub-machine-guns the military is currently testing. I told them that I refused, but that he disappeared before I could apprehend him."

"And then?"

"They asked me why I hadn´t reported it and I said I was afraid to get involved, that they would think I had something to do with it." He was silent for a moment then continued in a more subdued voice, his gaze dropping to the bed, "I know, I violated the number one rule, ma´am, never to mention the Organisation under any circumstances, but I…" His voice became even lower and Jo had to strain to hear him, "I´m not proud of this, but… but I…"

He looked up to meet her eyes, "I was afraid, Jo. I was so afraid they were going to kill me and you know they would have if I didn´t tell them anything. I swear, I didn´t give anything away, I didn´t say more than I´ve just told you… I´m sorry, I know I was weak, but I… but I didn´t want to die…"

Jo regarded the slumped man on the bed, her cool appearance giving no indication of the turmoil of conflicting emotions inside her. She desperately wanted to believe him. Frederic had been one of the first agents to accept her leadership and he had never questioned her authority. They couldn´t exactly be called friends, but she knew him better than any of the other men and he was the only one who didn´t seem to be intimidated by her or feel awkward in her presence. Except of course when she was shoving a gun in his face. Like now.

Shaking her head lightly in a futile attempt to clear her head, she asked evenly, "What happened then?"

Frederic looked surprised by the question, like he´d halfway expected to be lying dead on the floor by now and it took him a couple of seconds before he could answer, "They believed me, or at least gave the impression of believing me, and asked whether I thought it was possible I would be approached again. I said, I didn´t know, but if I were I wouldn´t hesitate to contact them and after that they drove me home. That´s all, I swear. I didn´t say anything and if I had, don´t you think they´d be out there, making arrests as we speak? Do you think we´d be having this conversation if I´d sold you out?"

Jo gave him a cold stare, "You don´t wanna know what I think."

If possible the agent´s shoulders slumped even further and his face lost what little colour there was left, but then he saw her put the gun into her jacket and he looked at her questioningly.

"You´re not to contact me or anybody else for the next three weeks and you will be under constant observation. If you as much as look funny at a policeman I will hear of it and undertake the necessary precautions. Is that clear, Frederic? One wrong move and you´re out, innocent or not."

The young man stared at her then he nodded eagerly, "Yes, ma´am! I understand! And thank you!" He practically beamed at her, "I promise you won´t regret it! I´ll make you proud."

Jo couldn´t help but smile a little herself, strangely moved by the sergeant´s enthusiasm, but then years of training won over and her face became a mask again, "Okay, Frederic, that´s all for now. I´ll contact you again when I think it´s safe. Until then…"

She turned and walked through the darkened room towards the door.

"Wait! Lieutenant!" Frederic put his feet down on the floor and stood up. "It´s almost 6 am, won´t you stay and have breakfast with me?"

Jo glanced back, a smile showing briefly her face, "Another time, Sergeant, when the circumstances are better, then I´ll get back to you."

She gave him a nod then slipped out of the door, disappearing as quietly as she arrived, leaving Frederic to wonder how she´d made it inside the tiny apartment in the first place without damaging either the lock or the door.

***************

"See, it´s not that bad is it?" Mickey inquired with a hint of triumph in her voice and Jo nodded reluctantly, her eyes taking in the sight of the crumbling ruins around them. "No, I guess not. It´s actually kinda neat out here."

Mickey smiled to herself, happy that the twenty minutes she´d spent trying to convince Jo to come with her for a bit of sightseeing hadn´t been a waste. Jo had for the life of her not been able to understand why they should spend a perfectly warm and sunny day walking around ancient monuments from a past long gone, when there was a live transmission from the highly popular wrestling matches between men and bears on TV.

Mickey thought the entire thing disgusting and was quick to point out that most of it was staged anyway and that she felt bad for the bears. Jo had agreed, saying she always cheered for the bears and occasionally they did win, usually when something had gone wrong. Mickey had asked what happened to the man when the bear won, but Jo had only shrugged and given her a savage smile. After that, Mickey had been more determined than ever to get Jo out into the fresh air and hadn´t taken no for an answer, and although she suspected that Jo had relented just to get her off her back, she was pleased with the result of her efforts nonetheless.

"I´m surprised you haven´t been her before," she said conversationally as they made their way in the bright sunlight down the Via Sacra. "If I´d been born here, I think I´d have spent every weekend here, just marvelling over this city´s former beauty."

"Yeah, well, I didn´t have much time for marvelling as a kid," Jo muttered, kicking a small stone ahead of her. "And although the wall hadn´t been built back then, it was still difficult to get somewhere when you lived in the Slums. The Council didn´t want to have riff-raff running around in the streets… They still don´t for that matter."

They fell silent and Mickey cursed silently. She didn´t want Jo´s mood to sour so soon and the oppressive midday heat from the sun shining mercilessly down upon them wasn´t making it better. Her t-shirt was already damp with sweat and she was glad she´d decided on shorts before they left although the morning had been a little cool. How Jo was doing in her jeans and black shirt she didn´t even want to consider.

After half an hour of admiring the ruins of the Forum Romanum, Mickey felt the early signs of a headache coming on and she turned to Jo who was wiping her forehead wearily, "Want to go find some shadow?"

"Yeah," Jo gave her a grateful smile. "I feel like I´m boiling."

Finding shadow was easier said than done, but eventually they spotted a cluster of trees down the slope they´d been following and after a quickly exchanged glance, they began an unsteady descend toward them. Sitting down on the dry and stony ground, rock hard from the heat, Jo leaned back against a trunk, sighing deeply. Mickey collapsed down beside her, fanning herself with her hands to create just a little breeze.

"We didn´t happen to bring any water, did we?" Jo asked with her eyes closed, knowing the answer already.

Studying the rise and fall of Jo´s chest for a moment and hearing the laboured breathing, Mickey smiled ruefully, "No, sorry. I didn´t think of that."

Jo quirked an eye open and regarded her for a few seconds before closing it again, "Don´t think about it. I didn´t consider it either and I´m actually more to blame than you since I grew up here. I should have known it was going to be hot today." She shifted a little and adjusted her position against the tree, stretching her longs legs out in front of her while releasing a hedonistic sigh.

"Jo?"

"Mmm?" came the languid answer and Mickey suspected that Jo was about to doze off.

"Can I ask you something?"

Although Mickey could swear that Jo didn´t move, she sensed an almost instant tension in the body beside her and in spite of Jo´s low and mumbled noncommittally reply, she knew that the lieutenant had become keenly alert.

"How much do you remember from your childhood here?"

There was silence for a moment then Jo spoke, her voice even and seemingly casual, "Why do you ask?"

Mickey turned so she was facing Jo who opened her eyes when she felt the blonde´s gaze on her. "I… I don´t mean to pry, Jo," Mickey began, wondering how she had gotten herself into this mess. "I… I´d just like to know a little more about you, about your life before we met, your family. Stuff like that. I mean, I hardly know anything about you from before Vega."

A minute passed and then two as Jo stared at her, her face impassive and neutral, then she shrugged, staring at her feet, "There isn´t much to tell. I was born here, you know that, and I left when I was eight. That´s sorta it."

Knowing that was all the information Jo was going to offer of her own, Mickey decided on a different approach, only too aware that she was threading on thin ice.

"Your mother had Reuma, right?"

Jo´s head shot up, blue eyes narrowing drastically as they pinned Mickey to the spot, but then an expression the blonde wasn´t able to identify flickered across Jo´s face and she sighed quietly, her eyes now focusing on her hands.

"Yeah, she did. She contracted it when I was two or three." She glanced up quickly to give Mickey a pale grin, "Lucky for me she didn´t get it earlier, huh?"

Mickey nodded, searching her mind for something to say. A pregnant woman already infected with Reuma, or who contracted it before giving birth, ran a high risk of suffering a miscarriage and even if she managed to carry the child for the full term there was a high probability that the baby would be born with the disease and subsequently die within a couple days. Mickey had seen quite a few Reuma babies in her time at the clinic, even helped deliver one or two, and she doubted that the sight of their swollen and blood filled bellies was something she´d ever get used to.

Spending a few seconds to chase the unwanted images from her mind, Mickey shifted her concentration back to Jo who seemed to be lost in thought, eyes still resting on her hands.

"When did she get sick?"

"When I was five," Jo answered, now studying an old pale scar on her left hand. "Until then she´d been in a reasonably good health. I mean, she tired easily and she would get those fevers and such, but otherwise she was fine."

Mickey suddenly felt a strong need to reach out and take Jo´s hand, but something held her back and instead she said, "What about your father? What did he do?"

"Dunno, I´ve never met him." Jo turned her head slightly to look at Mickey. "Does that surprise you?"

Mickey opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again. It didn´t surprise her, not really. Nuclear families weren´t exactly the norm among people in the Slums. As it was, a child should be happy just knowing one of the parents.

"Your mother never told you about him?"

Jo shook her head and spoke tiredly, "No. I asked about him once, before she got sick, but she just said I shouldn´t worry my pretty little head with that." A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips then it was gone. "She said we didn´t need anybody else, that it was just the two of us and that that was enough."

"You never asked again?"

"No," Jo met Mickey´s eyes. "I believed her when she said that we didn´t need anybody else and then later, when she got sick, it didn´t seem important anymore. I had other things to worry about."

Mickey felt a question form on her tongue and before she knew what had happened it had passed her lips and she heard herself ask gently, "You loved her."

It hinted too much of a question to qualify as a statement and from the strange look Jo gave her, Mickey could tell the lieutenant had heard it as well. However, Jo didn´t answer right away, but just looked out into the distance, her eyes far, far away. Then so softly that Mickey almost missed it, Jo spoke slowly, "For a long time I hated her."

Somehow the answer didn´t surprise her and most certainly didn´t shock her so all Mickey did was to nod, feeling Jo watching her carefully as she asked again, "And now? What do you feel now?"

This time Jo didn´t hesitate, "Relief." She paused, and as Mickey looked at her, she saw both anger and hurt, but also guilt in the blue eyes. "The same relief, I felt the day I watched them kill her."

***************

***************

"You saw you mother get killed?"

Jo opened her eyes at the sound of Mickey´s voice, blinking a few times to get back to the present before looking at the blonde, "Yeah, something like that."

"Oh, Jo, I´m so sorry." This time Mickey reached out and took one of Jo´s hands into her own. "That must have been horrible."

Jo watched their joined hands, but didn´t make a move to retract hers, "Don´t be sorry, Mickey. It was a long time ago, I hardly remember it. Besides, I´m sure you must have seen your share of bad things when Lyonne was taken."

The hand holding Jo´s twitched a little and Mickey was silent for a moment before she gave the lieutenant a small smile, "I don´t remember much either, I was just a child when it happened."

Jo nodded and for awhile they were both silent, but then she suddenly shifted to fully face the blonde who looked at her in surprise, but didn´t say anything. Moving closer until their knees touched, Jo began to play idly with Mickey fingers.

"You know," she began slowly, both their gazes focused on their hands and not on each other, "I don´t know much about you either. Except that you arrived at V3 some time before me, without your parents." She raised her head to look into hooded green eyes, "How did you get there?"

Mickey looked at her for a long time, then she sighed and said evenly, "Pilot brought me. He was one of the volunteers helping with the evacuation. A lot of people didn´t believe that the city was actually going to be attacked, or maybe they just didn´t want to believe it, I don´t know." Mickey sighed again, looking away from Jo. "My parents belonged to that group and didn´t realize their mistake until it was almost too late. If it hadn´t been for Messina and her men delaying the soldiers and all the volunteers helping people to get away, it would have been."

Jo rubbed her temple thoughtfully before running a hand through her damp hair, "You were… what? Five back then?"

Mickey nodded, her eyes studying a few ants struggling to transport a leaf over a small rock, "Yes, I was five."

"What happened to your parents?"

Mickey looked up, meeting Jo´s eyes, "They died, Jo." She removed her hand from the lieutenant´s, furious with herself that she didn´t seem to be able to prevent a lump from forming in her throat. She could tell that Jo was about to say something and quickly interjected, "They died and that´s all there´s to it. It doesn´t matter how or why. They just did. And as you said, it was a long time ago."

She angrily wiped a tear from her eye, praying that Jo wouldn´t comment. And the lieutenant didn´t, instead, to Mickey´s utter shock, she just scooted closer and pulled her into her arms. For a second Mickey´s body went completely rigid, then she melted into the embrace, letting her aching head rest on Jo´s shoulder while her arms found their way around her waist.

Wrapped in Jo´s arms, she could feel the heat from the lieutenant´s body and detect a faint scent of cotton and sweat, and maybe jasmine, she wasn´t sure. It made her experience a strong sense of déjà vu, but she couldn´t recall from where, and let it go, closing her eyes and nestling closer instead. She felt Jo stroke her hair gently and for a second Mickey could swear she heard Jo humming a low tune, but then it was gone and she wrote it off as her imagination getting the better of her.

How long they sat like this, neither was able to tell, but eventually they eased apart, although not further than their arms were still loosely holding each other. Smiling faintly, Jo raised a hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Mickey´s ear and the blonde closed her eyes briefly, leaning her cheek into Jo´s palm.

Opening her eyes again she spoke softly, "Your hands aren´t as calloused as they used to be."

Jo smiled again, feeling Mickey´s soft hair between her fingers, "I know. I haven´t been doing as much…" she paused briefly, grinning slightly, "well, manual labour, I suppose you could call it, as I used to. It´ll change once I´m done working undercover."

She moved her hand, slowly running her fingertips over Mickey´s cheek down to her lips. There she lingered before tracing Mickey´s lips with a single finger, watching in fascination as the lips parted lightly, revealing just the tip of a pink tongue.

Simultaneously, they looked up, meeting the other´s gaze. The world became insignificant and faded away as they looked intently into each other´s eyes, then Mickey spoke hoarsely, "If you don´t kiss me now, Jo, I swear I´m going to kill you."

A quick grin showed on the lieutenant´s face, then it was replaced with something close to intense concentration as she leaned in, removing her finger just before their lips met.

Their lips moved slowly and leisurely for a couple of seconds, then Jo felt Mickey´s tongue gently but insistently seek entrance and she couldn´t help but smile, thus allowing the eager blonde access into her mouth. Releasing a soft moan of pleasure, she cupped Mickey´s neck, intent on returning the favour when a familiar and highly unwelcome voice made her freeze on the spot.

"My, my, my, Miss Turner, you do never cease to amaze me. Does the dear Andreas know about your, shall we say, extracurricular activities?"

Jerking away from Mickey, Jo looked up to see council member Victoria Walder look down at them, a huge smirk on her pale and angular face.

***************

Chapter Thirty

Rising quickly, Jo began to stammer out an incoherent explanation, but before she got very far, Mrs. Walder just laughed out loud, "Relax, Miss Turner! I´m not going to tell anybody."

She smiled conspiratorially as the young people began to ascend the slope toward her, the young blonde looking absolutely terrified, "Trust me, what you´ve been doing is no sin, not in my eyes anyway. We all know how busy Andreas can be with his career, it´s no wonder you feel a bit neglected. Besides," she gave Jo a wink as she came to stand in front of her and the lieutenant just managed not to look too shocked, "I´ve been known to play around a little myself and Mr. Walder, God bless his trusting little soul, would have a heart attack if he knew some of the things I´ve been doing while he is away on business."

She turned to look at Mickey who was standing uncertainly a few steps behind Jo and the thin woman gave her a reassuring smile, "My lips are sealed, Miss, there´s no reason to look so worried, and if we women couldn´t have a bit of fun by ourselves occasionally, we´d go crazy having to put up with the men and all their foolish antics. Don´t you agree?"

Mickey nodded, glancing briefly at Jo who still appeared slightly stunned, then she gave the council member a pale smile, "Yes, I suppose you´re right."

"Of course I am," Mrs. Walder replied with confidence, taking Mickey´s arm and ushering her down the path. "So, dear, what´s your name by the way? I don´t recall having seen you before. Have you known Miss Turner for long? Isn´t she just the most delightful creature you´ve ever met?"

"Oh yes," Mickey looked back over her shoulder and gave the motionless lieutenant a sly grin, "she most certainly is."

Jo remained where she was, staring at their backs, her mouth hanging slightly open in disbelief as she watched them walk away. Then she shook her head and quickly ran down the path to catch up with the eagerly chatting council member and the rather bemused and taken aback doctor.

For the next twenty minutes Mickey and Mrs. Walder were engaged in an amiable conversation about art and culture while Jo kept silent, walking a few steps behind them, the expression on her face changing from disbelief to growing exasperation.

This simply wasn´t happening. They couldn´t be taking a stroll with one of the most influential and cunning women in the Realm, it simply wasn´t possible. It was sheer madness and she was sure she would wake up any minute. She had to be.

Also adding to her discomfort was the fact that she had been caught off guard. She had been careless and if Victoria Walder hadn´t been in such a good mood things could have become very unpleasant. As it was, she wasn´t sure how much she could rely on the woman´s promise of silence. She knew Walder wasn´t a woman to be gossiping in the corners, but on the other hand she wasn´t slow to use any information that might be to her advantage and further her own career in the Council. With a sigh, Jo realized she would have to stay on very good terms with the thin woman for the rest of her stay in Neo Roma. Hoping and praying that they would never be at odds and thus prompt Walder to use any damaging information she had against her.

And this was damaging, no doubt about it. Lingstrom wouldn´t as much as look in her direction again if he heard that she had been seeing somebody else, and had been caught doing it, in public no less. His reputation would be damaged, not to say his pride, and Jo had quickly learned that Lingstrom was nothing if not proud. Proud of his ancestry and of his own accomplishments in the Council and under no circumstances would he accept having that tarnished. Not even by the woman he claimed to have grown very fond of and with whom he was going on a romantic trip to Venice by the end of the week.

That thought made Jo feel even worse. She hadn´t thought about the upcoming trip all day, but now it was back and she felt a wave of apprehension wash over her. She wasn´t exactly looking forward to going with him. An entire week in his company… To be honest, she wasn´t sure how she would manage.

Oh, pull yourself together, will you? A mocking voice chastised in her head. You won´t be doing something you haven´t done before. It´s just a job, remember? Something that has to be done and you´re the best qualified to do it, you know that.

Jo pushed her sombre thoughts away, her gaze coming to rest on Mickey walking in front of her.

***************

"You don´t think she´s sulking because I interrupted your little tête-à-tête back there, do you?" Victoria Walder threw a glance back at the silent Jo. "She looks awfully grumpy if you ask me."

"Nah," Mickey took a look herself, recognizing the distant and focused expression on Jo´s face as a sign that something was troubling her. However, that something she would have to deal with later. Right now she needed to have her wits about her to avoid rousing the council member´s suspicion that she wasn´t a normal tourist visiting the capital of the Realm for the first time. "I think it´s just the heat getting to her. It is terribly hot and she isn´t exactly dressed for it."

"True," Walder acquiesced with a smile, turning towards Mickey, "but you got to admit she looks absolutely stunning in black. If I were twenty years younger, hell, make that ten, I sure would give you a run for your money when it came to earning a few favours from Miss tall, dark and beautiful there."

She let out a deep sigh and Mickey got the impression that the thin woman was losing herself in memories, but it only lasted a moment and then sharp and intelligent eyes focused on her again. Instantly reminding Mickey that she wasn´t talking to the average, middle-aged woman reminiscing about her lost youth, but to a woman with a brilliant political mind and a ruthless disposition. A woman who had worked her way to the very top of society, seemingly without having any scruples or feeling remorse for the actions and intrigues that brought her there.

"So since it´s hardly realistic that I´ll get to experience it myself, especially considering how possessive Andreas can be at times, you´ll have to be my source of information."

Mickey looked at Walder in confusion, not quite sure what the council member was referring to. Glancing back at Jo who had fallen a little behind, the thin woman whispered exaggeratedly, just loud enough that Jo might hear, "So, tell me, dear, is she as good as she looks?"

Mickey stared at her, trying to think of something clever and disarming to say. She was pretty sure she knew what Walder was referring to this time, but she was also pretty sure that she didn´t want to be having that particular conversation with her. Jo´s talents as a lover wasn´t exactly something she wanted to discuss with a woman belonging to the enemy. Or anybody else for that matter.

Trying to shrug off the question, she just smiled enigmatically, hoping Walder would drop it, but the council member turned out to be more persistent than that.

"Oh, come on, Miss Renault, you have to throw an old woman a bone," Walder complained good-naturedly. "I stopped living my own life years ago and have been living through everybody else ever since. There must be something you can tell me. Unless of course…" She paused briefly, giving Mickey a meaningful grin, "Unless you haven´t done the deed yet. Is that it, darling? You haven´t gone twelve sweaty rounds with high society´s favourite brooding beauty? Come on, you can tell me."

Mickey´s eyes widened just a little from that description, an uncertain grin showing on her face as she tried to find a grimace that would fit. However, she was saved from answering by Jo who suddenly appeared at their side.

"I think it´s time for Miss Renault and me to move on," the lieutenant spoke pleasantly, avoiding Mickey´s eyes and looking at the council member instead. "There are still a few places I would like to show her while I have the time."

"Ah, yes, that´s true," Walder said cheerfully. "You´re going to Venice with Andreas this week. I heard him mentioning it the other day. Well, in that case, I´ll leave you alone." She smiled, then turned and gave Mickey a quick nod, "Have fun and enjoy the rest of your day, I know I will."

They watched in silence as she walked away and not until she had disappeared from their vision, did they look at each other. For a few uneasy minutes they remained on the spot, not quite meeting the other´s gaze, but then as if in an unspoken agreement they began to walk down the path in the opposite direction.

They walked side by side without talking for a few moments then Mickey sighed inaudibly and asked casually, "You´re going to Venice?"

"Yes."

"With Lingstrom, this week?"

"Yes. We leave Saturday night."

Mickey nodded to herself, her mind conjuring up all sorts of unpleasant images as an all too familiar sense of hopelessness took hold of her, making it hard for her to swallow.

"For how long will you be gone?" She heard herself inquire, surprised by the relaxed and steady tone of her voice.

"About a week," Jo answered, her voice just as even, eyes looking straight ahead. "Maybe a little more. It depends on how much work he´ll have once we get there."

"I take it you´ll have some work to do there as well?"

"Yeah." Jo licked her lips a few times, wishing she had something to drink as her tongue suddenly felt very dry. "There are a couple of things I´ll have to do."

They fell silent and remained that way for the time it took them to leave the leftovers of an ancient city´s glorious past and enter the hustle and bustle of a modern metropolis. Waiting on the pavement for a cab, Mickey suddenly couldn´t keep silent any longer and spoke hurriedly before her courage abandoned her, "Will you come see me before you leave on Saturday?"

Jo who had been scanning the street for an available taxi turned to look at her, her expression unreadable, but then a small smile appeared on her face and she nodded, "Sure, I can do that."

Returning the smile, Mickey suppressed the need she always felt to touch Jo whenever the lieutenant looked at her that way and said lightly, "Okay, that´s a date then."

Realizing she might not have used the most fortunate of expressions, she was about to modify her statement slightly when Jo interrupted her, the blue eyes twinkling in a way Mickey couldn´t quite explain, "Yeah, I guess it is. Do you want me to bring any flowers or candy?"

Again Mickey was saved from answering, this time by the cab pulling up to the curb and the driver opening the door to let them inside.

***************

The handle turned slowly and for a few seconds everything was quiet, but then the door was gently pushed open and a person sneaked inside. The darkened room was silent and the only sound was a low, regular breathing coming from the bed at the far end of the room.

Pushing the door shut with a low click, the dark clad figure held its breath, waiting for any kind of reaction from the bed, but nothing happened and slowly and carefully he stepped closer, taking care to avoid the smallest sound.

He paused a few feet from the bed, unsure whether he should dare to move closer. He knew the woman halfway hidden under the covers slept lightly, and that he would only get one chance to fulfil his mission.

Deciding that he was close enough, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small gun complete with silencer. Releasing the safety catch, he raised his arm and took aim.

For a long moment his finger lingered on the trigger as he stared intensely at the head on the pillow, almost hidden in shadows. He knew he ought to be close enough for the shot to be lethal. He was an excellent marksman, had never missed before, but this was a woman who had experienced, and survived, several attempts on her life and he knew without doubt that his superiors would be less than pleased if he failed.

Almost the same instant he had taken his eyes off the head resting peacefully on the pillow to contemplate the distance once more, he knew instinctively he had just committed a grave mistake. A mistake which, as he stared into wide awake blue eyes and then the gun in the woman´s hand, he realized he had never made before. For half a second he felt a flicker of something that could have been bemusement, but then all he felt was pain as a bullet slammed into his chest, passing through on the other side.

For a second their eyes locked, but then his knees gave way underneath him and he crumbled to the floor, his face forever frozen in an expression of surprise.

Half lying, half sitting in the bed, Iris Messina stared at the man on the floor, the gunshot still ringing in her ears. The sound of her door being kicked open caused her look up and she saw Vladimir rush into her room, the young man still dressed in his pyjamas, hair tousled from sleep and his eyes wild with worry and shock.

Flicking on the light, it took him a second to realize what had happened then he hurried over to her desk, reaching for the phone.

"Wait!" Messina´s voice stopped him before he could lift the receiver. "I don´t want you to call security."

"What?!" He stared at her incredulously, his hand suspended an inch above the phone. "You can´t be serious! That guy just tried to kill you! We have to find out who send him."

"I know." The blonde climbed out of bed and she could tell from her aide´s hastily averted gaze that her short t-shirt wasn´t covering as much as it should. Ignoring Vlad´s embarrassment she kneeled down beside the body, quickly searching his pockets for papers or identification. As she had expected she didn´t find anything and with a low sigh she rose again, giving Vlad a stern look, "I want you to keep this a secret. I don´t want any more people hearing about this. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma´am," he answered. "I understand. But why? I mean, wouldn´t it better to alert security and have them conduct a thorough investigation so we can find out who´s behind this. It´s your safety we´re talking about after all, that´s not a matter to be taken lightly."

"I know, but I don´t want anymore involved in this." She turned and picked up a blanket from her bed, carelessly tossing it over the man on the floor and Vladimir was secretly relieved to have the frozen stare of the assassin covered. "In my experience," Messina continued unaffectedly, walking over to her desk, "the more people involved in an investigation, the more unproductive it is. Besides," she gave her aide a meaningful look, "we can´t know for sure that he was sent by somebody from outside…"

She let the last part linger in the air between them and Vlad stared at her wide-eyed, "You don´t think it´s going to start all over again, do you? That somebody within the Organisation is trying to kill you?"

The blonde shrugged and turned on her computer, the light from the monitor giving her face a sickly looking green hue. Sitting down on her chair, she sighed tiredly, "I don´t know, Vlad, it´s possible. For a long time I have suspected that someone was out to kill me, someone who is willing to pay a great deal and take a great risk to do so… Too bad I got carried away and killed him," she added thoughtfully, speaking more to herself than Vladimir. "Now I won´t get any information from him."

"Why haven´t you mentioned any of this to me?" the young man asked, a little angry and hurt by his superior´s lack of trust. "I should have been notified so I could double security around you."

"Hey," Messina gave him a warm smile, "it´s not because I don´t trust you, you know I do, it´s just I didn´t want to alert anybody that something might be wrong. You know that I still got a few, if not enemies, then opponents who would be more than glad if they heard about this. I don´t want them to think I don´t have everything under control. I don´t want to give them any ideas. The last time that happened I almost lost my life."

Vladimir nodded slowly. He still remembered that and had no particular desire to experience those harrowing months again when he didn´t know who to trust or who would emerge the victor from the power struggle. He watched in silence as Messina´s finger flew over the keys, her alert eyes taking in everything showing on the screen, then he asked quietly, "Finding anything?"

"No." With an annoyed expression, the blonde turned off the computer again and leaned back in her chair. "Nobody fits his description and nothing out of the ordinary has been reported around the base for the last four hours. No visitors have either left or arrived."

The aide´s brow furrowed, "Well, how did he get in? I´d think it ought to be impossible to get in here without being detected."

"Hmm…" Messina answered noncommittally, her gaze resting on Vlad´s face without really seeing him.

Vladimir sat down on the edge of her desk, his eyes briefly straying to the blanket on the floor and the red stain slowing spreading on the fabric. Rubbing his forehead he asked slowly, "So… you don´t want anybody to know about this? You want to deal with this… yourself?"

"Yes," the blonde nodded, focusing on her aide again. "Apart from you, me and Delaine," she paused, a quick humourless smile crossing her face, "and the person who wants me dead, of course, nobody knows about this, and I want it to stay that way. At least for the time being."

"Lieutenant Delaine knows about this?"

"Yeah," Messina rose from the chair and walked over to stand above the body on the floor, staring at it dispassionately. "I wrote her some time ago and asked her to keep her eyes open. In case the Council is behind this there´s a possibility she might hear about it."

"I see." Vlad sighed and stepped over to stand beside her. "Well, I for one would wish Delaine was here, she´s so much better at handling stuff like this than I am. If she had been here, this never would have happened."

"You don´t know that, it could´ve happened all the same." The blonde gave him a smile and patted his shoulder affectionately, "Besides, you´re not a soldier, at least not the way Jo and I are, and that´s the way I want it. She might help keep me alive, but you´re the one who takes care of me on a regular basis. Make sure I get something to eat and actually go to bed once in awhile." She smiled again as she noticed the faint blush on his cheeks, "What would I do without you, Vlad?"

The aide was unable not to smile in return, his superior´s words filling him with both pride and strong affection for the woman beside him. He had served her for years and knew her better than anybody else, except maybe Jo, and he had sworn never to let her down or disappoint her in any way.

It had been difficult at first when Jo had arrived on the scene, almost instantly taking up a place in Messina´s heart that, although he had never desired it for himself, still had made him feel left out and a little lost. Before that it had always been him she would come to and talk about the trivial things that were bothering her, the incompetence of her generals, their lack of quality weapons and vehicles, or just use him as a sounding board for new plans and ideas. It had made him feel privileged to be blessed with this extraordinary woman´s confidence and he had always done what he could to repay her trust by taking as good care of her as possible, knowing all too well that it could be both cold and lonely on the top. Not to say dangerous.

It hadn´t taken him long to realize that Messina was not only attracted to her new assistant, but also thought very highly of her, and if he hadn´t concluded himself that Jo was worthy of both things, he could have made it very difficult for the young cadet. As it was, they had bonded over their mutual wish to protect and serve Messina and they had become friends. Which didn´t mean it had been easy for him to walk in on them in bed together.

He wasn´t jealous of Jo´s place in Messina´s bed, but he was jealous of the subsequent intimacy and confidence that he had no part of and never would have. He had been relieved when the blonde hadn´t started to treat him any differently, but still relied on him to take care of her like always. However, it had still hurt, somewhere deep inside, the times he had been faced with a closed door and knew that his presence was no longer wanted nor required. That it was something else Messina wanted, somebody else she desired.

And then as things had begun to go wrong between Messina and Jo, and even though it had pained him to witness it, he had hoped he once again would take the more prominent place in her life. But instead of turning to him, the blonde had withdrawn and thrown herself into work even more than before, growing harsh and short-tempered with everybody. Even him.

He had openly blamed Jo and once it had almost come to blows between them when he had made one sarcastic remark too many. Fortunately for him, a livid Messina had rushed out from her office and pulled them apart, otherwise he had no doubt he would have had his arse kicked quite severely, because if Messina´s fuse was short in those days, then Jo´s was non-existent.

Messina hadn´t said a word at first, but just stared at them, her entire body trembling with the effort of controlling her rage. Then in a voice cold as ice she had told Vlad to go, and ordered Jo into her office.

In spite of himself, he had remained where he was after the door had closed behind them, straining to hear what was said in the hopes of finally finding out what it was that had caused their relationship to go bad. He had his suspicions of course, but didn´t know for sure and knew better than to ask either Jo or Messina about it. It was none of his business, and besides, he was quite fond of living.

However, their voices had been too low and mumbled for him to understand, and suddenly he had found himself kneeling on the floor to peek through the keyhole. One part of him had been outraged and shocked by his audacity, while another was too curious and too worried to care. Had he been caught, Messina´s trust would have been lost forever, but he wasn´t. Instead, he was able to see why he could no longer hear them talking.

He blushed involuntarily, remembering the scene on the floor. He had walked in on them once or twice, but never like that, never during the act. The sight of pure, aggressive and carnal lust was something he had never forgotten and it had made him wonder what kind of relationship Messina really had with her assistant. Whether it was all sex or if there was something more about it.

"Vlad? Did you hear what I said?"

Vladimir blinked, his eyes meeting Messina´s who was watching curiously, "Uh, no, I´m sorry. I think, I drifted off there for a sec."

"Uh huh, I think so, too." The blonde had noticed some interesting expressions cross her aide´s face within the last few minutes, but decided not to comment. Instead she said, "Go get a jeep and wait for me outside. I want to get him out of here before he bleeds all over the floor, there´ll be enough cleaning up as it is. Also get something to cover him with as well, I don´t want the guards to ask any questions. And yeah, get some clothes on, too. Wearing pyjamas might be a bit conspicuous."

The young man nodded and quickly disappeared outside. Messina regarded the slumped form under the blanket for a few seconds, then she sighed and walked over to sit down on her bed. She knew she should get dressed herself, but suddenly she felt like she had no strength left in her body and instead she allowed her thoughts to wander back to more pleasant times when life had been a little less complicated.

***************

Chapter Thirty-One

"Jo…" Mickey whispered breathlessly as she heard the lieutenant groan in her ear. "Jo… We should stop…"

"No… not yet," came the ragged reply. "Please, not yet."

Sucking lightly on Mickey´s earlobe, Jo shifted on her knees, moving her legs apart to give Mickey better access. The movement more or less trapped the blonde´s hand which was buried inside her trousers, the tight jeans making it almost impossible for Mickey to move her hand. Mickey gasped as she felt Jo trail heated kisses down her throat and she involuntarily tightened her grip around the lieutenant´s neck, desperate for as much contact as possible. In response she felt Jo´s hand slip up under her blouse, nimble fingers immediately finding her breasts.

In spite of her strong arousal, Mickey´s head was clear enough for her to realize that things were rapidly spinning out of control, and that she should put an end to it before they were both caught up in an avalanche that couldn´t be stopped. But instead she found herself trying to manoeuvre her restricted hand under the material of Jo´s briefs, her ministrations causing another deep groan from the lieutenant who was pressing her hard against the back of the couch.

"Wait…" Jo´s hand moved away from Mickey´s breasts down to her own trousers. "Let me…"

Together they tried to push the jeans down her hips, but it soon turned out to be impossible as long as Jo was kneeling so low. With a small nudge with her free hand, Mickey got Jo to straighten up and move her legs together, allowing the trousers to be pulled down without hindrance. Then, just as Jo´s mouth returned to Mickey´s neck while her hand unerringly found its way back under the blonde´s blouse, and Mickey´s fingers were grazing the smooth, delicate skin of Jo´s inner thigh, about to move up, the lieutenant´s cell phone rang.

All movement ceased and for a few frantic heartbeats only their mutual rapid and shallow breathing was heard, then Jo scrambled off the couch, heading for her jacket lying on a chair. Without looking at the dishevelled woman on the couch, she reached into a pocket and pulled out the phone.

"Yeah?" Jo´s voice was hoarse and raspy and she swallowed a few times to clear her throat. "What?! Slow down, Pfizer, I can´t understand a word."

Still listening, she reached down to pull up her jeans, her eyes absently taking in the sight of Mickey buttoning her blouse, "What?! Hansen? When?" She was silent for a few seconds, her brow furrowing and Mickey could vaguely make out the rambling and desperate voice at the other end.

"No, Pfizer!" Jo interrupted suddenly. "Don´t even think about it! I´ll take care of this! The only thing you´re gonna do is get the hell out of there, contact the other agents and make sure they disappear as well. You all know where to go and you´re gonna stay there until I tell you something else. Got that?! I´m gonna deal with this."

She listened again, nodding to herself, and to Mickey it seemed like the blue eyes became even paler, then suddenly she snapped the phone shut, returning it to her pocket. Both hands free, she used the opportunity to close her jeans then spoke quietly, "I´ve got to go. There´s something I need to take care of."

Mickey nodded slowly, not really knowing what to say. Slipping into her jacket, Jo looked at the blonde, her eyes momentarily losing some of their coldness, "I´m… I´m sorry about…" She gestured a little helplessly at the couch then turned and walked to the door.

"Wait!" Mickey rose. "This is your apartment, I should leave as well."

"No!" Jo said quickly, looking back at her before continuing in a slightly softer tone. "Please stay. I… I would like you to… I mean, you don´t have to be at the clinic tomorrow, do you?"

Mickey shook her head, studying Jo closely.

"Well… Well, then you could stay here, relax a little, watch some TV or something," Jo added in a rush before she paused for a moment, meeting the blonde´s eyes. "You don´t have to go home, Mickey. I… I would like you to be here when I get back…"

Mickey gave her a warm and reassuring smile, "I´ll be here, Jo." Suppressing a sigh and her sense of dread, she looked pointedly at the door, "You better go."

"Yeah," the lieutenant nodded, her face growing hard and professional. "I better."

***************

Leaning against the brick wall of a closed shop, Jo was squinting against the low afternoon sun, watching the building across the street and had been doing so for the last twenty minutes. She was waiting and she was willing to wait for as long as it would take.

Suddenly, in the periphery of her vision, she sensed movement and turned her head just in time to see a black car turn the corner. She quickly stepped behind a parked van to avoid being seen and heard the car come to a halt across the street.

For a few seconds nothing happened, then rather roughly a car door was pushed open and the sound of angry voices reached her ear. She couldn´t make out what they were arguing about, but caught a few words that were enough to harden her features and turn her eyes into narrow slits.

Then the car door was slammed shut, followed by the sound of running steps disappearing somewhere inside. Jo waited until she could no longer hear the sound of the car driving away and then she stepped out from behind the van, throwing a quick glance around before she ran across the street and into the apartment building on the other side.

She looked briefly at the changing numbers above the lift then with an expression close to feral anticipation, turned on her heels and raced to the door leading to the stairs. She took the steps two at a time, not once pausing to check the numbers of the floors. She knew only too well where she was heading.

Finally she reached the door with a big twenty-one painted on it and she skidded to an abrupt halt, taking a few seconds to get her breathing under control before she carefully opened the door an inch or two, peering inside the corridor. The corridor was empty and she stepped inside, looking around and then purposely walking towards the lift.

With a cool, self-satisfied smirk she saw that the lift was still two floors away, but the smirk was quickly replaced by cold professionalism as she produced a gun from her pocket and took position next to the lift. She didn´t have to wait long when a small ping announced that the lift had arrived and almost instantly the doors slid open. Without waiting for anybody to come out, Jo stepped into view, aiming her gun at the man inside.

"Hello Frederic."

The young man stiffened, staring into her eyes for just a second then he began to furiously punch the buttons beside him, but Jo wedged her foot in between and the doors slid back open.

"Ah-ah, Frederic," she spoke mockingly, her relaxed voice a stark contrast to the barely controlled blaze in her eyes. "That´s not the way we play. Not anymore."

She stepped into the lift, her left arm hooking around Frederic´s throat while she used the gun to press the button that shut the lift. Speaking directly into his ear, she whispered pleasantly, her arm tightening and making it hard for him to breathe. "I think we´re going down, don´t you?"

Then she pushed the button that led to the parking lot underneath the building and as the lift began moving, she nonchalantly put the barrel of the gun against his temple.

"Jo, I…" Frederic croaked out, but was prevented from speaking further as Jo tightened her grip, causing black spots to dance before his eyes.

"Don´t say a word, Frederic," she whispered softly into his ear and the agent shivered involuntarily, suspecting what that tone might mean. "Don´t say a word or I´ll blow your brains out right here." Jo could smell the fear radiating from him and continued casually as her eyes never left the numbers above her that indicated where they were, "And that wouldn´t be nice, would it? After all, someone would have to clean it all up again afterwards."

They rode the rest of the way to the basement in absolute silence and to Frederic it felt like it was both the longest and the shortest ride he had ever taken. There wasn´t a single inch between his and Jo´s bodies and he could hear her eerily quiet and even breathing in his ear, and feel the heat from her body as she pulled him even closer the moment the doors opened, revealing a huge and dimly lit parking lot.

For a moment she didn´t move, then Frederic almost jumped as he felt her hands reach in under his jacket, quickly searching him for any hidden weapons. She didn´t find any and gave him a hard shove that made him stumble out of the lift and into the basement. Jo immediately followed, keeping one foot inside the lift to prevent it from going back up.

Pointing the gun at the profoundly sweating agent, she looked at him with something akin to regret for a few seconds, but then all trace of emotion left her face and her eyes grew hard.

"How much, Frederic?"

He stared at her, his mouth moving soundlessly a couple of times.

"How much, Frederic? How much did they pay you to betray us? Twenty-five? Fifty? Or maybe a hundred? How much were the lives of your colleagues, your friends, worth in your eyes?"

"I… I don´t know what you´re talking about!" Frederic´s eyes were darting around frantically, searching for an escape. "I haven´t betrayed anyone, I don´t know what the fuck you´re-."

"Hansen´s dead," Jo interrupted coldly, feeling her anger rise as the agent didn´t react, but just continued to stare at her. "He was confined to his barracks yesterday night and then brought to St. Peter´s Prison earlier this morning. He was interrogated, tortured, and then shot." She glanced at her watch then looked back at Frederic, "Exactly one hour ago, his body was brought to the University Hospital as material for the students to cut up." Her eyes bored into his and she spoke matter-of-factly, "They´re probably carving as we speak."

She fell silent and Frederic got the impression that she was waiting for him to speak, but no matter how much he searched his brain he couldn´t think of anything that would change the inevitable.

Swallowing, he said slowly, "You´re going to kill me. It doesn´t matter what I say, you´re going to kill me no matter what."

For a long, loaded moment they just stared at each other, then Jo spoke, her voice strained, "I trusted you, Frederic. I trusted you when you said you were innocent, that you hadn´t told them anything."

Contempt showed on the young man´s face as he gave up all pretence and just smiled mockingly, "And you were so easy to fool, Lieutenant. You were so eager to believe me that I could have told you anything and it would have been enough." He met her gaze defiantly, "You wanted to believe me, Jo! It´s your fault Hansen´s dead, not mine. You let him down, you let your conscience get the better of you. Funny…" He cocked his head lightly, studying her like she was some kind of fascinating animal, "I really thought you had no heart at all. Guess, I was wrong there, wasn´t I?"

Jo´s face was carved in stone and showed no emotion. The only thing indicating that she was feeling something was her tight, white lips and the finger twitching on the trigger. Then she spoke icily, "Are you gonna tell me what I need? Or will I have to beat it out of you?"

"You mean whether I have mentioned any other names than Hansen´s," Frederic replied with a small sardonic grin, "whether I might have mentioned Pfizer, Daniels, Wittner or… maybe you? The great team commander who´s not afraid to do the dirty work herself?"

Jo didn´t answer, but just waved the gun impatiently at him, willing him to stop gloating and get to the point.

However, Frederic´s grin just broadened and he continued unaffectedly, "Or maybe you want to know whether I have told them about that little slut of your´s? The one you always return to after a completed assignment? Tell me, Lieutenant, is she a good fuck? Is that why you always go back? Makes you come, does she? I bet she´s as good at whoring herself as you-."

The gunshot sounded like an explosion in the empty basement and the lingering echo was only drown out by an agonizing scream of pain as Frederic fell to the ground, clutching his crotch as blood welled out between his fingers. Without a word, Jo fired again, this time shattering his right kneecap, and then the left, the expression on her face never changing.

She watched the whimpering and crying man writhe on the floor for a moment, then she stepped closer, letting the doors to the lift slide shut behind her. Hovering above him, she looked down at him and said flatly, her tone of voice completely distanced and detached, "I ask again, Frederic, are you gonna tell me what I need? Or will I have to beat it out of you?"

Tears were running down the agent´s cheeks and he was close to passing out from pain and the loss of blood, but still he managed to squeeze out, "You rotten bastard! You fucking arsehole! I´m gonna-."

The rest of the sentence was abruptly cut short as Jo kicked him hard in the kidneys. She waited a few seconds for the renewed cries of pain to subside before she said, "Tell me, Frederic. Tell me and I´ll let you live. I´ll bring you to our safe house where you´ll be treated and then I´ll have the Organisation send someone to judge you." She stared at him, absently wiping a drop of sweat from her forehead. "It´s the best offer you´ll ever get."

Frederic´s lips were quivering uncontrollably and his eyes were turning glassy as a tiny flicker of hope ignited inside him and he whispered hoarsely, "No… I haven´t told them about anybody else. They… they wouldn´t pay me enough. Said they would see how valuable Hansen was before they offered more."

Jo nodded to herself, she had more or less suspected that. She knelt down beside him, placing the gun on the ground well out of his reach and then pressed her hands hard against his crotch to halt the bleeding, ignoring the choked whimper the act elicited from Frederic.

"Was that why you argued? In the car?" she clarified impatiently as she saw the disorientation on his face. "Because they wouldn´t give you more?"

"No," he rasped, struggling not to pass out. "I wanted them to take me to somewhere safe. I told them you would come for me the moment Hansen had been taken." Anger showed briefly on his face, but was then replaced with pain, "They just laughed at me, said it wasn´t their problem."

Jo regarded him with disgust, "Poetic justice, wouldn´t you say?" Then she grabbed the gun and got to her feet. She took a step back and raised the gun at him.

Frederic gasped and stared at her in disbelief, his eyes wide in fear, "What are you doing?! You said you would take me away? Let someone else judge me!"

"I lied," Jo answered monotonously. "It´s a bitch, isn´t it?"

And then she pulled the trigger.

***************

More asleep than awake, Mickey registered the sound of a door closing gently, shortly followed by light steps coming closer. Then she heard a low sigh as clothes were discarded on the floor before the mattress moved slightly as a body settled down beside her. For a minute or two all she heard was Jo´s quiet breathing and she was just about to drift off when the bed shifted again and she could feel the lieutenant´s breath caress her face as Jo leaned closer.

For several moments nothing happened, then she felt a soft, tentative kiss on the corner of her mouth. The contact was so fleeting that Mickey wasn´t certain whether she had really felt it or just imagined it all, and she barely stopped herself from licking her lips to see if there was any trace of Jo left.

Several minutes ticked by with nothing else happening, but Mickey had no problem sensing Jo´s gaze on her as the lieutenant hovered indecisively beside her. She began to wonder whether she should open her eyes when Jo suddenly kissed her again, this time lingering briefly before she pulled away. Not knowing how she should react, Mickey remained still as Jo began to place more and more insistent kisses down her throat, the lieutenant´s breathing increasing ever so slightly as her heartbeat picked up. Soon she positioned herself directly above Mickey, but kept the majority of her weight on her arms, keeping their torsos apart.

As she brushed her mouth against Mickey´s again, the blonde opened her eyes and was caught up in a strangely lugubrious blue gaze that grew hooded and shameful the instant Jo realized she was awake. For a moment they stayed frozen liked that, Jo keeping her body suspended a few inches above Mickey while the blonde lay absolutely still, the only movement being the somewhat unsteady rise and fall of her chest.

Mickey was about to speak, but the words died in her throat when she noticed a lifelessness and despair in Jo´s eyes that was frighteningly reminiscent of the looks of the Reuma victims she saw every day at the clinic. She felt like for the first time she was seeing directly into Jo´s soul and without conscious thought she suddenly wrapped her arms around her, pulling the tense lieutenant down.

Jo immediately buried her face in Mickey´s neck, her breathing hot and laboured against the blonde´s skin and her body shivering lightly when soft hands found their way under her t-shirt. Swallowing, she whispered hoarsely, "I´m sorry… I´m sorry… I´m sorry…"

"Jo?" Mickey asked quietly, stroking the lieutenant´s back tenderly. "Jo, are you okay?"

She received no answer and only felt Jo burrow deeper, almost as if she was trying to hide from something. Then as Mickey continued to rub the lieutenant´s back, she felt a vague, but distinct trusting of Jo´s hips against her. She waited to see if anything else was going to happen, but nothing did and Mickey got the impression that Jo somehow wasn´t capable of going any further. That she was conflicted and uncertain about her next choice of action.

However, by the shaking of Jo´s body and the almost desperate manner she pressed her face into her neck, Mickey could also tell that the lieutenant was in need of some kind of relief to find peace and that she was unable, or unwilling, to do something about it herself. Without even pausing to consider it, Mickey decided to take the initiative. Slowly she moved one hand from Jo´s back and down, manoeuvring it in between their bodies. Jo instantly stiffened, but then raised her hips to allow Mickey´s hand to slip inside her briefs.

Something between a sob and a groan filled Mickey´s ears as she began to expertly move her hand, instinctively knowing what Jo needed. In response she felt a moist tongue and then teeth graze her skin before a strained and shaky voice whispered, "No…"

"Shh..." Mickey murmured reassuringly, never halting the motions of her hand. "It´s okay, baby, it´s okay. I got you. Just let go."

A tremor ran through Jo´s body and she turned her face away from Mickey, burrowing it into the pillow instead. Gasping for breath, she felt the cool cotton stick to her sweat slicked forehead and with her pulse pounding in her ears she choked out, "No… I don´t… No… Please…"

But in spite of her refusal to let herself go, Jo´s body had developed a will of its own and continued to move against Mickey´s hand.

"It´s okay," Mickey whispered again, her heart breaking from the pain and self-loathing she could detect in Jo´s words. "Just let go, baby, just let go. You´re safe here."

Jo bit down hard on the pillow, willing her body to stop responding to Mickey´s touch, but she was too exhausted and too far gone to reclaim control. In no time they both felt the contractions begin and then Jo´s body shuddered forcefully before she collapsed down on Mickey with a strangled groan, her face still turned away from the blonde.

Slowing down and then stopping completely, Mickey gently withdrew her hand, causing Jo to inhale sharply. Resuming her soothing stroking of Jo´s back, Mickey waited patiently for the lieutenant´s ragged breathing to return to normal before she asked quietly, "You okay?"

Instead of answering, Jo just lifted her head, shifting slightly to look at Mickey. They gazed into each other´s eyes in silence for a long time, then Jo suddenly leaned down to capture the blonde´s lips.

Mickey let Jo kiss her for a few moments before she gently, but firmly pushed the lieutenant away. Jo´s brow furrowed in confusion and she searched the blonde´s face uncertainly, "Mickey..?"

"It´s okay, Jo. I´m fine."

"Are you sure?" Jo regarded her a little hesitantly. "Don´t you want me to-."

"No," Mickey interrupted softly, only too aware that there was no desire in Jo´s eyes, only fatigue. She gave her a warm smile. "I´m fine." She gently placed her hand on Jo´s cheek, "You´re exhausted, you need to sleep."

"But-."

Mickey´s finger against Jo´s lips silenced whatever the lieutenant might have wanted to say and the blonde smiled again, "No buts." She pulled Jo down to her chest, placing a affectionate kiss on the dark head as it came to rest on her shoulder, "Just sleep, Jo. We´ll have time for anything else later."

Jo didn´t answer, but let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

Mickey, on the other hand, stayed awake for a long time, unable to find any rest for herself. Little by little, sad resignation suffused her as she came to the painful realization that she couldn´t continue to live like this, that it was impossible for her to take it anymore. It had become too hard, too unbearable.

Although Jo had come to her tonight, had needed her, she had only sought the comfort of a warm body and Mickey couldn´t shake the feeling that if it hadn´t been her, but somebody else in the bed, the result would have been the same.

It hurt too much to let Jo go on one of her assignments when she knew what the lieutenant might have to do, and their strange on and off relationship was too hard for her to handle. The thought of Jo killing someone at six, fucking someone at seven, and then be back in time for dinner with her at eight, was tearing her apart and she would have to put an end to it before her heart had been broken one too many times to recover.

If only she didn´t feel that Jo needed her so much, that she depended on her in a way they both had yet to fully understand.

Biting down on her lip, Mickey closed her eyes tightly, waiting for sleep to come.

***************

Chapter Thirty-Two

The enticing scent of coffee awoke Mickey from her deep and dreamless sleep. Wiping sleep from her eyes, she got to her feet and padded out into the living room. Jo was sitting on the couch with her feet resting on the coffee table next to a steaming mug. She was dressed in nothing but a pair of grey cotton boxers and a white t-shirt and her hair was still damp from the shower. Looking up at as she heard Mickey approach, she tossed the newspaper in her hands onto the table and with a small smile said, "Nice shirt."

Mickey looked down at the beige flannel shirt that went to the middle of her thighs, "Yeah, I know." She gave Jo a smile of her own, "Hope you don´t mind, I hadn´t brought any clothes of my own to sleep in."

"No problem," Jo rose and headed into the kitchen. "Want breakfast?"

"No, just coffee," Mickey replied, sitting down on the couch. "I had a late dinner last night."

She had waited until 3 am for Jo to come back before giving up and going to bed, and most of that time she had spent pacing the floor, consuming huge amounts of ice-cream that had only made her feel sick and not better.

She tucked her legs under her and watched the sunlight filtering through the windows behind her for a few seconds before reaching out to grab the newspaper. However, she was unable to concentrate on the articles as her thoughts kept going back to the events last night, and with a low sigh she put it back, silently contemplating how to approach the issue they needed to discuss.

"Here you go."

She was startled out of her reverie by Jo who had returned from the kitchen with a mug and a plate with pieces of apples and oranges in her hands. She handed Mickey the mug and put the plate on the table, "Just in case you get hungry." Then she slumped down on the opposite end of the coach, leaning against the armrest as she watched Mickey tentatively take a sip of her coffee. Their eyes met and they exchanged a little smile before they simultaneously looked away, Jo´s gaze dropping to the floor and Mickey turning her head to look out of the windows overlooking two skyscrapers that were exact duplicates of the one she was currently staying in.

For several moments they sat like this, quietly drinking their coffee, and each lost in her own thoughts then Mickey glanced back at Jo who was staring straight ahead of her, a distant and pensive expression on her face. She covertly studied the long legs stretched out before her, letting her gaze travel up tanned and well defined thighs, experiencing a sudden spark of desire as she recalled having those strong thighs quivering under her touch. Quickly pushing those thoughts away, she leisurely continued upwards, past a flat and muscled abdomen and stopping at the soft swell of Jo´s breasts where she lingered, unaware of the desire showing in her eyes.

"Mickey?" The blonde just managed to prevent herself from blushing, somehow knowing it wasn´t the first time Jo had said her name and she had been too caught up in her little fantasy to notice. "Mickey, we need to talk."

Composing herself, she met Jo´s gaze and nodded, "Yes, I know."

Nodding as well, Jo shifted on the couch and scratched her thigh nervously, not sure how she should approach it. Then she took a deep breath and said, "Yesterday, when I had to leave…"

Mickey nodded, waiting for Jo to continue.

"Well, as I´m sure you have guessed already it had something to do with my work here in Neo Roma," Jo paused, not wanting to tell more than she had to. The less Mickey knew, the better. "Well, the thing is, one of my men, one of the undercover agents, he turned out to be dirty. He sold us out and that was the problem I had to take care of."

Mickey frowned, this wasn´t what she had expected, but she remained silent, curious as to where Jo was heading.

"Fortunately, I managed to get a hold of him before he had done too much damage," Jo continued evenly, her voice relaying facts and nothing else. "He claimed he had only told the police about one agent, and although I have reason to believe him, I can´t know for certain that he was telling the truth."

The past tense didn´t escape Mickey´s notice, but instead of horror she felt only anger towards the man who had endangered Jo´s life and some cruel satisfaction that he most likely wasn´t to be counted among the living anymore.

"-and that´s why I think it´s better for you if we don´t see each other again."

"What?!" Mickey had only caught the last of Jo´s sentence, but it was enough for her to stare at the lieutenant incredulously. "What do you mean, it´s better for me if we don´t see each other again?"

"It´s the only wise thing to do," Jo spoke calmly, but Mickey could see her jaw tighten in determination and hear the level of authority rise in the lieutenant´s voice. "If Frederic blew the whistle on the rest of us as well that means they know about me, too, which again means that they will be coming for me. He knew about you, Mickey," Jo looked intensely into the blonde´s eyes. "He knew we have been spending time together and if he knew that, they´ll know it, too. They´ll think you´re working for the Organisation as well, especially when they do a background check of your papers and find out that you´re not related to Doctor Lawrence."

"You don´t know that," Mickey interjected before Jo could continue. "You said yourself you had reason to believe that he hadn´t mentioned any other agents."

"Yes, but I can´t know that for certain." Jo sighed and ran a hand through her hair in frustration, "It´s a chance I´m not willing to take, Mickey. I´m not willing to gamble when it comes to your life."

Mickey was silent for a few seconds then reached out to put her hand on Jo´s thigh. Looking into the lieutenant´s eyes she spoke softly, "Don´t you think they would have been here already if they knew about you? Don´t you think you would have been too important not to apprehend right away?"

"They might be waiting for something," Jo answered quietly, gazing at the hand on her thigh without really seeing it. "They might want to catch me in the act or something like that. I don´t know…" She trailed off, then added with a sigh, "Maybe they have some reason for waiting."

"Or maybe they don´t know about you." Mickey reached out to tilt Jo´s head up. "Maybe they have no idea that you exist, or that I exist, and that we have been spending time together. Maybe you´re worrying for no reason at all."

"Maybe," Jo smiled faintly, wanting so much to believe that Mickey was right. "But it would be better if-."

"Jo!" Mickey interrupted, her face growing serious. "The only reason I´ll accept for not spending time with you, is if you don´t want me to. If you can look me in the eye and say you don´t want too see me anymore, then I´ll accept that and you´ll never have to see me again. I´ll walk out that door and never come back." She inhaled slowly and then asked, "Is that what you want?"

Jo was unable to hold Mickey´s gaze so she looked down. She stayed silent for a long time before shaking her head almost imperceptibly, her voice very quiet, "No, that´s not what I want."

"Good," Mickey said, hoping the relief she was feeling wasn´t too evident on her face. "Subject´s closed then. We won´t discuss this again."

Jo nodded and then rose from the couch. She was confused why her heart was hammering so wildly in her chest as if she had just taken a great risk, and excusing herself walked into the bedroom to get dressed. Picking out clothes to wear, Jo couldn´t deny that she was feeling more than a little relieved to catch a break from the confident and serene determination she had witnessed Mickey´s eyes, plus her own willingness to believe what the blonde had said in spite of her better judgement.

Mickey stared at the closed door, totally mystified by her own actions. She had wanted to tell Jo that she couldn´t see her anymore. She had wanted to explain to her why she couldn´t continue their odd friendship and instead she had found herself ardently talking in favour of them still spending time together. Even though she´d had every intention of ending it all today and walking out of the lieutenant´s life for good.

With a deep sigh, Mickey hid her face in her hands, inwardly asking herself why things never seemed to go as she had planned whenever Jo was concerned. And why it was they never talked about anything important.

***************

With a low sigh, Jo closed the small black box in her hands, then sat a few seconds staring at nothing in particular before tossing it in under the bed. She knew she ought to hide it better, but right now she couldn´t bring herself to care.

The instructions from Messina had been loud and clear. She was to keep low for the next three weeks and not even think about attempting to find out how much the police knew. She was to wait, to observe, and not act.

In Jo´s opinion, it didn´t get much worse than that.

Sighing again, she rose from the bed and walked to the large mahogany closet standing against the wall. Pulling both doors open, she stared listlessly at the more than generous selection of trousers, shirts, dresses and skirts that made out Josephine Turner´s wardrobe.

Carelessly, she picked out a few items and tossed them onto the bed, trying to remember if Lingstrom preferred her dressing in red or blue. A knock sounded on the door and without looking up she said, "Come in."

Mickey opened the door and stepped inside, surprised to see Jo in the midst of putting clothes into a suitcase.

"Going anywhere?"

"Yeah," Jo glanced at her briefly before looking back into the closet. "Venice, remember? I´m packing now to get it over with."

"Right," Mickey answered neutrally, feeling her stomach knot painfully. "This Saturday, I had forgotten."

Jo acknowledged her words with a small nod, but didn´t speak and a heavy and decidedly uncomfortable silence fell between them as she continued to throw clothes onto the bed or into the suitcase.

"I´ve heard Venice should be very nice this time of year," Mickey then heard herself say, hoping it didn´t sound as stupid as she felt.

"Yeah, Andreas says it´s lovely, especially since it was closed off for tourists seven years ago. Only people who have property there are allowed to visit," Jo answered impassively, holding out an elegant black dress with thin shoulder straps before her. She eyed it indecisively and without any real enthusiasm for a minute, then looked to Mickey, "What do you think?"

Mickey licked her lips then answered carefully, "I think you would look great in it."

"Hmm," Jo replied noncommittally. "Do you think Lingstrom would like it?"

"He´d be blind not to," came the quiet answer. "It´s very beautiful."

"I suppose." Jo shrugged and discarded it onto the pile of clothes on the bed that Mickey had identified as the `maybe´ group. "He usually likes it conservative."

"It´s not really your thing, is it?" Mickey asked, pushing a shirt aside before sitting down on the bed. "I mean, wearing dresses and such. It´s not really your style."

"Oh well," Jo gave her a crooked grin. "I´ve nothing against dresses… as long as they´re on somebody else that is. Nah, actually it´s not that bad," she continued more seriously. "I´m just not used to it, makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, but…" She trailed off, shrugging imperceptibly. "Could be worse, I suppose."

"Miss being in uniform?"

Jo smiled briefly, then turned to look at Mickey, her eyes slightly distant, "Amazing, but true."

"Well, you look great in uniform, too," Mickey responded without thinking, instantly feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. "I mean, you… you look like, well, like you belong in… one. It suits you," she concluded in a rush, looking everywhere but at Jo.

"Yeah?" There was a note of a genuine surprise in Jo´s tone that made Mickey look up and she nodded, giving the obviously pleased lieutenant a faint smile. "Yes, you look like you were born to wear a uniform."

Jo studied her for a moment, then said thoughtfully, "Maybe I was." She gave the remaining clothes in the closet one final look before turning to the piles on the bed. Picking up the black dress again, she gazed at it for a second before tossing it into the suitcase, "It´s actually an all right dress. It´s very practical if you need to hide wire in the seams. Everything else shows." She gave Mickey a small grin, raising an eyebrow, "Even underwear, which means I usually go without."

"Oh?" Mickey grinned in return. "How kinky!"

"Very," Jo replied, managing to keep a straight face for about two seconds. "A bit draughty, though."

Mickey laughed out loud. It was so seldom Jo made a joke or just allowed herself to loosen up a little and Mickey was enjoying every minute of it, momentarily succeeding in forgetting why they were having the conversation in the first place. She was adamant about not thinking about Venice, or Lingstrom, and everything that involved.

It were moments like these she caught a glimpse of who Jo could have been if things had been different. If she hadn´t been forced to fight her entire life. First for her right to exist and later for a much talked about, but disturbingly unfathomable cause. Jo was unquestioningly devoting her life to a sterile and impersonal movement that cared more for results than the people who achieved them.

It wasn´t the first time Mickey had had thoughts like these, and as always they both angered and confused her. She had been taught to serve and honour the cause and the Organisation for as long as she could remember, and there had been a time when she had been just as eager to throw herself into the seemingly hopeless and never-ending fight for freedom, but now… Now her priorities had changed and she wasn´t even certain why or when it happened. She just knew they had.

She didn´t support the harsh and unjust rule of the Council, and she despised the ruthless armies and complacent upper classes who kept it in place, but she was less than convinced that she would be willing to sacrifice everything in order for the Organisation to prevail it its fight against them. And although Jo might be willing to sacrifice her life for the cause, Mickey most certainly didn´t intend to calmly stand by and watch her do it. Not if she could help it.

However, as Mickey watched the finality with which Jo closed the suitcase and placed it against the wall, she realized sadly that she probably didn´t have any say in the matter after all.

***************

Jo stopped, staring at the paper and the pen in her hand. She had no idea what to write next.

Sighing in annoyance over her less than original beginning, Jo decided to keep it. After all, she did hope he was fine.

The clock on the wall struck four times and Jo glanced up briefly. She would have to hurry if she was to be at Mickey´s before five. Taking a deep breath, she put the pen back to the paper.

Jo bit her lip, nervously drumming her fingers on the desk.

"Oh fuck!" Jo groaned out loud. "I can´t write that. Transpired! Oh please! I came on to his girlfriend that´s what happened!"

Chewing on a nail, she stared out of the window for several minutes. Then with a small shake of her head, she resumed her writing, brow wrinkling in concentration as she tried to find the best way to phrase everything she wanted to say.

Jo ignored the voice in her head and glanced longingly at the bottles on the shelf, but then she looked away. She didn´t need that.

"Oh shit," Jo sighed unhappily. "`Persistent in my attentions´? What is this? A goddamn novel?! I´ve got to have more guts than that." She erased the sentence and started again.

Jo paused, the pen hovering a hair´s breadth above the paper.

Jo felt her stomach churn with nausea. She didn´t remember much from that night so long ago, but she did recall Mickey telling her to stop. And she also knew with painful clarity that she hadn´t. She had wanted to take Mickey, right there against the wall, and the moment the blonde had ceased struggling, she had…

Jo´s brow furrowed. She wasn´t sure what had happened next and realized with some guilt that she was almost relieved by that. She didn´t want to know what she might have done, even though she knew only too well that not knowing didn´t make it undone.

The confusing thoughts raced through Jo´s head as she tried to understand Mickey´s motives. She alternated between feeling wild hope that Mickey might have forgiven her, and deep despair that the only reason why the blonde hadn´t mentioned it was because she was afraid of her and what she might do.

However, the fact remained that at certain times, Jo knew she had seen desire in Mickey´s eyes… But then… that was no different from anybody else. Jo had yet to fail evoking a response from people, whether they wanted it or not. It was a skill she mastered to perfection.

Jo sighed. It was time she owned up to her responsibility and stopped hiding.

Jo erased the sentence almost the instant she had written it. It didn´t matter what she hoped.

"Great!" Jo muttered in disgust. "Now it´s getting pathetic as well."

She decided to get it over with while she could still stand to be in a room with herself and quickly jotted down:

Several minutes passed with Jo staring with unseeing eyes out of the window. Then she resolutely rose from the desk and headed for her jacket.

***************

Chapter Thirty-Three

Running a hand through her hair to put it into some semblance of order, Jo checked her watch and rapped on the door three times. A couple of seconds went by, then the door opened revealing a smiling Mickey.

"Hi, Jo. On time like always." She stepped back, "Come on in."

"Thanks," Jo replied weakly, coming to stand uncertainly in the middle of the room.

She turned to look at Mickey who had just closed the door and was watching her with a friendly smile on her face. Jo smiled hesitantly in return, suddenly feeling very off balance. She had promised herself she would talk to Mickey about the incident in Vega and then accept any decision the blonde would make about their future relationship, but as Jo looked at her now, she felt all words desert her.

She didn´t want their friendship to end. She didn´t want to go back to the self-reliant, but ultimately lonely existence she had led before Mickey showed up. It simply wasn´t an option. Abruptly, Jo realized she had come to rely on having Mickey in her life. To have somebody to talk to and spend time with, somebody she could trust and who didn´t expect anything in return but her friendship. For someone like her who didn´t really deserve it, it was a precious gift and Jo wondered why she had never thought about it before.

Standing there and looking at Mickey, Jo felt her throat constrict almost painfully as she realized she couldn´t conceive not having that beautiful blond woman in her life, not seeing those brilliant green eyes filled with laughter, not hearing the warmth in her voice.

She knew she didn´t deserve it, never had, and never would, but still she wanted it. Wanted it so much it hurt.

Mickey watched in concern as she saw a tremor run through Jo´s body. She was about to go to her and say something when the look in the lieutenant´s eyes held her fast. The usually remote and guarded look had been replaced with something Mickey could only call… fear.

"Mickey, I…" Jo began hoarsely, taking a step forward. "I… I want…"

Her voice was tinged with a strange frantic desperation that matched the anguish in her eyes and this time Mickey moved forward, grabbing Jo´s upper arms.

"Jo? Jo, what is it? Are you all right?"

But the lieutenant just stared at her, unable to form any words. She swallowed unsuccessfully several times as Mickey searched her face intently, trying to understand what was wrong.

"Jo? Has something happened?"

She was about to continue when their gazes suddenly met and for an endless moment they looked into each other´s eyes, Mickey feeling a pull so strong it made her dizzy, and Jo feeling more out of control and lost than ever before.

Summoning up every ounce of discipline and self-control she had, Jo briskly stepped back before she said something she knew would only come back to haunt her. Suppressing the sickening feeling that she was about to lose something invaluable, she said brusquely, "I´ve got to go."

The words felt like a slap in the face and Mickey involuntarily shrank back, confusion and hurt written on her face. For a second she had sworn there had been a connection between them and she had been so certain Jo had felt it, too. During that intense moment she had read something in Jo´s eyes that although she couldn´t put a name to it, had made her heart beat faster and taken her breath away. But now it seemed she had been wrong. Like always.

"I´ve got to go," Jo said again, her eyes darting around as she slowly edged towards the door. "I´m leaving early tomorrow morning and I still need to pack a few things."

Shaking her head slowly, Mickey felt as if she was watching herself from far away and she spoke, her voice so void of emotion and so mechanic that she almost didn´t recognize it, "I´d wish you didn´t have to go."

Jo, whose fingers grazed the door handle, stiffened imperceptibly and a few seconds passed by before she practically whispered, "Me too."

"Then don´t," Mickey said softly, feeling the tiniest spark of hope at Jo´s small admission. She tentatively reached out. "Stay here."

"I can´t," Jo replied slowly, but still she turned halfway to look at Mickey. "I have no choice."

Meeting Jo´s eyes without wavering, Mickey exhaled quietly and said simply, "I don´t want you to go."

For a second Jo just stared at her, then her eyes grew cold and hostile, "Don´t tell me what I can or can´t do, Mickey. That´s not for you to decide." Then she harshly pulled the door open and walked outside, slamming the door behind her as she left.

Mickey stared at the door in something close to shock, barely suppressing the urge to scream in despair and frustration. She had been so close! They had been so close. She could feel it! Tonight there had been a chance for something changing between them, for something happening. For the briefest of seconds Jo had attempted to reach out, only to pull back before Mickey had had the opportunity to react. She was so sure of it. She had seen it in Jo´s eyes and heard it in all the things the lieutenant hadn´t said

I can´t let her go! The words shot through Mickey´s brain. I can´t! It´s now or never! If I don´t reach her now, I never will.

She frantically searched the apartment for her shoes and jacket, effectively suppressing the thought that she was already too late. At last she found what she needed and stormed out of the door, taking the stairs in a hazardous pace. Outside she stopped briefly, trying to catch her breath, then she took off towards the bridge, praying that Jo hadn´t taken a cab.

Without paying any heed to the curious glances thrown her way, Mickey sprinted down the street, each step bringing her closer and closer to her destination. After fifteen minutes of ruthless running with her pulse pounding in her ears and her breaths reduced to small gasps, Mickey could finally make out the control post at the bridge. Slowing down gradually, she squinted against the low afternoon sun, feeling her heart sink. There was no sight of Jo. The only people at the post were two soldiers chatting amiably with each other, neither appearing to be doing much guarding.

Stopping completely, Mickey leaned forward and rested her hands just above her knees while she tried to get her frantic breathing under control. Tears of anger and desolation obscured her vision as she looked down at the ground, not even noticing that her legs were shaking. Forcing herself to take deep, even breaths, Mickey slowly regained her equilibrium and feeling oddly calm, she straightened up and looked out over the river.

With a strange sense of detachment she studied the glittering skyscrapers on the other side, unconsciously searching for the building where Jo lived. She knew it was too far away for her to see, but still she looked for it, not wanting her last connection to Jo severed. Then sighing deeply, she was about to turn away when a lone figure on the middle of the bridge caught her eye. A small, dark figure slumped against the railing, staring down into the water.

For a minute Mickey stayed absolutely still, watching without blinking as thoughts and emotions rushed through her then, almost by its own volition, her body began to move toward the control post. Without giving her a second glance, the guards waved her through, seemingly more annoyed about having been interrupted in their conversation than worried about checking Mickey´s papers.

Calmly and without haste, she walked to the middle of the bridge, not stopping until she was only a few feet away from the woman still staring down at the water. Feeling in complete control, Mickey watched her for a moment then spoke softly, "Jo?"

Jo didn´t tense or appear startled, and neither did it seem like she was particularly surprised to hear Mickey´s voice. Instead she just turned her head slowly and said quietly, "Hello Mickey."

Walking closer until they were only inches apart, Mickey noticed the resigned, but relaxed expression on Jo´s face, and as she looked into serene blue eyes, everything fell into place inside of her. Reaching out she took Jo´s hand and without ever breaking eye contact asked gently, "Why are you not at home, Jo? Getting ready to leave with Lingstrom?"

"I couldn´t." Jo´s face was strangely peaceful as she looked directly at Mickey. "I meant to, but I couldn´t."

"Why not?"

"Because…" Jo paused, a hint of insecurity in her voice, then it was gone. "Because it wouldn´t be right."

Mickey smiled faintly, her thumb gently stroking the back of Jo´s hand, "And why wouldn´t it be right?"

This time Jo´s gaze left Mickey´s face and she stared out over the river for a long moment. Then she exhaled slowly, turning to Mickey again, "Because you don´t want me to."

Another smile graced Mickey´s features, her blond hair reflecting the red light of the setting sun as she spoke, her voice affectionate and warm, "Why does my opinion matter to you, Jo? Why should you care?"

Jo licked her lips subconsciously, feeling how she was being caught up in the blonde´s eyes and that she was helpless to do anything about. That she didn´t want to do anything about it. Taking a deep breath, she forced all her fears from her mind, ignored the voices telling her to run and her furiously pounding heart and said in a surprisingly calm voice, "Because I love you."

For the briefest of seconds neither of them moved, their expressions and their bodies frozen, then a brilliant smile spread on Mickey´s face. Jo released a breath she didn´t know she had been holding before smiling tentatively in return. Without a word, Mickey pulled Jo into her arms and for a moment they clung to each other like their lives depended on it, standing so close that air couldn´t have passed between them, then they broke apart, hungrily seeking out the other´s lips.

The kiss was fierce and ferocious at first, but quickly turned languid and tender until they didn´t move at all, their faces inches apart. Gazing into Jo´s eyes, Mickey whispered quietly, "Did you figure that out by yourself, or was it just a lucky guess?"

Smiling, Jo placed a quick kiss on Mickey´s lips before speaking softly, "Well, it wasn´t like I had that many options left to choose from."

Stroking Jo´s cheek gently, Mickey said earnestly, her voice insistent and sincere, "I love you, too, Jo. I have for a very long time." She intently searched Jo´s eyes, frowning lightly when she thought she saw a brief flicker of doubt, or maybe uncertainty in the blue eyes, but then it was gone and Jo replied with a small grin, "Well, you´ve always been the smart one when it came to the two of us."

Mickey smiled broadly, "I have, haven´t I?" Then she pulled Jo down for a kiss, kissing her soundly before she moved to the lieutenant´s ear and whispered huskily, "Let´s go home, Jo."

The tone, more than anything, caused a pleasant shiver to run down Jo´s back and finding herself momentarily at a loss for words, she nodded eagerly, taking Mickey´s hand and leading her toward the shore.

***************

Without a word, Mickey unlocked the door into her apartment and they stepped inside. She wasn´t surprised to find that the power was off as usual, but for once she didn´t mind and quickly lit a few candles. She could feel Jo watching her every move and she smiled inwardly as joy and exhilaration rushed through her. She couldn´t believe it had finally happened, that the words she´d always longed to hear had finally crossed Jo´s lips. It was almost too good to be true.

She looked up and saw Jo standing with her back against the wall, looking a little more apprehensive than Mickey felt comfortable with. She couldn´t have changed her mind already, could she? Suddenly not knowing what to say, she got rid of her coat and shoes, out of the corner of her eye watching Jo do the same and she sighed inaudibly in relief. At least she wasn´t planning on leaving any time soon.

She turned around to face the lieutenant who was still standing close to the wall and, Mickey noticed sadly, as far away from her as possible.

Taking a deep breath she asked quietly, "Are you okay?"

Jo didn´t move for a couple of seconds then she nodded and spoke hoarsely, "Yeah… I´m fine."

"Do you want to leave?"

Jo looked at her in surprise, but quickly hid it behind an expression of indifference, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" Mickey said hurriedly, taking a step forward. "I… I would like you to stay."

Jo nodded again, her gaze straying to the floor.

Dammit! Mickey thought helplessly. It´s not supposed to be like this. I… I have to do something before she gets too scared.

The last thought struck a chord inside the blonde and as she studied the tense woman before her, she realized that Jo was terrified. That she didn´t know what to do next or what was expected from her.

Out of nowhere, a feeling of fierce protectiveness took hold of her and like before on the bridge, she felt both calm and in control, somehow knowing that for once she was the master of the situation and not Jo.

"Jo?" The lieutenant looked up at the sound of Mickey´s voice. "Come here."

There was no command in the blonde´s voice, just gentle insistence, but Jo found she was helpless to respond in any other way, so she hesitantly took a few steps closer. Mickey offered her hand and after a brief hesitation, Jo accepted it and allowed the blonde to pull her closer.

Mickey gave her a little smile when at last they were close enough to touch and she asked gently, "How do you feel?"

Jo licked her lips a few times then said, almost too low for Mickey to hear, "Like I´ve been punched in the guts."

Mickey couldn´t help but smile and reached up to touch Jo´s cheek, "I´m glad to hear it."

"Oh…" Jo cleared her throat, giving her a pale and tentative smile. "You are?"

This time it was Mickey´s turn to nod and the smile that followed conveyed feelings so overwhelming, so powerful that for a moment Jo forgot to breathe and subconsciously tried to move away to distance herself and regain control, only to find that Mickey wouldn´t allow it. She fought the urge to panic, to run away and as she looked into the warm green eyes, she didn´t see the distanced, contemplating expression she knew so well, but acceptance, understanding and… love.

"You really… love me?" She spoke hoarsely, her voice hinting of a quiet awe mixed with disbelief. "The… the real way?"

Without knowing why, Mickey felt that everything depended on what she said next and this led to her mind momentarily going blank. She let out a low breath and removed her hand from Jo´s cheek, taking the lieutenant´s motionless hands into hers. She had thought that her words on the bridge had convinced Jo of the sincerity of her feelings, but as she looked into uncertain blue eyes and watched the conflicting emotions cross her face, she understood that it would take a lot more than that before Jo would fully believe her.

She was about to speak, but was surprised when Jo beat her to it and said, "Mickey, I… I want you to know…" She trailed off, desperately searching for the right words that just didn´t seem to want to come to her. The words that would explain everything, not only to Mickey, but herself as well.

"I… I…" Her voice was so husky that she almost didn´t recognize it. "I… I love you… and," she gently put a finger on Mickey´s lips to prevent her from speaking, "and there´s nothing I can do about it. I mean, I… I only have room for one. In here," she placed her other hand over the blonde´s heart. "I can only… I can only love one like this and…"

She moved the hand from the blonde´s lips to rub her forehead angrily, frustrated that she couldn´t express herself clearer. "What…" She took a deep breath and felt herself relax, stop struggling and surrender to the inevitable. "What I´m trying to say is that I love you and… and that I can´t do anything about it. I´ll… I´ll be loving you for the rest of my life. I…"

She met Mickey´s eyes and practically whispered, "You´re in my heart now, Mickey, and you always will be. No matter what happens, no matter if you leave me and find someone else, I won´t be able to stop loving you. Do you understand?" She felt her throat constrict as she witnessed a brief flicker of fear in the blonde´s eyes, but she was unable to stop herself from continuing, "Do you understand what it is I´m saying?"

The meaning of what Jo was trying to say was only too clear to Mickey and the responsibility and ramifications of it all were overwhelming. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was too dry.

You get it all, a voice whispered in her head. Her heart, body and soul. She offers you everything, without conditions. Isn´t that what you´ve always wanted?

Mickey was almost paralyzed by Jo´s words. She had always known that loyalty was everything and more to Jo. She had suspected that if Jo ever allowed herself to love, it would be with an intensity and devotion unrivalled by anything else, but to be the sole recipient of it all, to be the all-important person in her heart, the only one with the power to hurt, to destroy…

The responsibility was almost too much to bear and it frightened her. What if she failed? What if she couldn´t handle it? What if it didn´t work out and they couldn´t be together? What then? Where would that leave Jo? Where would that leave either of them?

The questions raced frantically through her head again and again, but then, as quickly as they had appeared, the feelings of terror and panic faded and were replaced by love as her mind came to a conclusion her heart had already reached a long time ago.

"Yes, Jo… I understand," she paused, smiling faintly, "and I accept."

And then, before Jo could say anything else, Mickey pulled her down for a kiss, claiming what was hers.

***************

Their lips met first tentatively, but then with an ever increasing hunger and Mickey eagerly invited Jo in, her hands tightening around the lieutenant´s neck to pull her closer. She felt Jo´s hands come to rest on her hips, then move down to grab her buttocks, pressing their bodies together. However, one hand soon moved to slip up under her shirt and run up her back, setting the blonde´s skin on fire wherever she touched.

Abruptly, Mickey broke off the kiss and for a second she saw confusion and hurt in Jo´s eyes which was replaced by a look of wanton desire as she took her hand and gently, but firmly dragged her towards the bed. She almost let herself fall backwards down on the bed, pulling Jo down with her.

Jo immediately moved to lie completely on top of her, then sought out the blonde´s lips again, not willing to be denied of their softness any longer. She thrust her tongue inside again, her hands already tugging on Mickey´s clothes, but then she forced herself to calm down and rein in her desire. She wanted this to be right and although her need to possess Mickey, to be deep inside her, was almost maddening, she succeeded in getting them both to slow down.

They began to exchange slow and deep kisses, hands moving and touching without haste, both just relishing the closeness and feel of being together, but it didn´t last long before the intensity rose once more, and this time it was Mickey who was trying to relieve Jo of her clothing, and the lieutenant willing complied, briefly moving up and away to get rid of it all.

Sitting back on her haunches, Jo watched completely mesmerized as Mickey discarded her own clothes, throwing the items carelessly to the floor. Finally undressed, they took a minute to blatantly study each other with appreciative and lingering eyes, neither experiencing any real awkwardness by being naked. Then their gazes met and they smiled simultaneously, both relieved by the look of unbridled desire and lust mirrored on the other´s face, then Jo leaned down to cover Mickey´s body and as bare skin touched bare skin, all coherent thought left them both and they surrendered to the needs and wants of their bodies.

To Mickey it felt like Jo was everywhere at the same time, never leaving a part of her unattended. Rough hands running over her breasts, stomach and legs while a relentless mouth was consuming hers or hungrily claiming her nipples with lips and teeth. To her it was absolutely heaven, the sensations in her body spinning out of control, and even the simple thought of Jo being on top of her, pressing her down into the bed and connecting their naked bodies so intimately, was so immensely erotic to Mickey that she couldn´t stop a deep moan of sensual pleasure from leaving her lips.

Running her hands over Jo´s smooth and sweaty back, down to squeeze firm buttocks, taking in Jo´s groan of pleasure before moving them back up, Mickey unsuccessfully tried to calm down a little, to get some of her excitement under control.

As long as she could remember, she´d wanted to watch Jo love her. To see the desire in the beautiful eyes as their joined bodies moved together, but now she found that she was unable to keep her eyes open and she had to give up, concentrating entirely on the overpowering sensations Jo was igniting inside her. However, even with her eyes closed, Mickey was keenly aware of her lover´s enjoyment and arousal. She could hear it in the fast and shallow breathing that accompanied her own soft moans and feel it whenever Jo moved against her, hard nipples brushing her skin or a warm wetness coming into contact with her thighs.

Soon she began to feel a familiar surge build in her abdomen, but before she had the chance to embrace it, Jo positioned herself differently and Mickey barely suppressed a cry of protest. Then she felt hot breath caress her skin, a throaty voice whispering into her ear, "Mickey… Mickey, open your eyes." Jo gasped when she felt the blonde´s hands move over her back, blunt nails lightly raking her skin, but still she managed to continue, "Please open your eyes, I want you to look at me."

With great difficulty and only because of the urgency she detected behind the words, Mickey´s eyes fluttered open. She fought the almost irresistible urge to close them again and give in to the pleasure and ultimately release she was so desperately craving, and instead tried to focus on what Jo wanted. One of Jo´s hands cupped Mickey´s chin firmly, preventing her head from moving, while the other travelled purposely down the blonde´s flushed and aching body.

"Mickey…" Jo rasped, waiting until their eyes met. "Mickey, I belong to you now," her hand came to rest between the blonde´s legs and it took all Mickey´s strength not to close her eyes in response, "and you belong to me. Do you understand? We´re together."

"Yes… Together…" Mickey managed to whisper, her hips involuntarily jerking as her body cried out for firmer contact. Blinking quickly to compose herself, she was caught up in burning blue gaze that was dark with desire, but also laying bare an openness and vulnerability so profound that for a moment she was able to ignore the cravings of her body and reach up to touch Jo´s face.

"You´re mine, Jo," she breathed, not really aware of what it was she was saying until she saw the look of intense relief and joy, almost gratefulness, in her lover´s eyes. Catching on, she continued, stroking a bronze cheek affectionately, "You´ll never be alone again, Jo. You belong with me now… To me."

Surprised by the possessiveness in her own voice, Mickey halfway expected Jo to recoil, but instead she lunged forward, crushing their mouths together in a fevered and passionate kiss. The one part of Mickey´s brain still able to function, suddenly understood that this was Jo´s way of expressing her feelings, what the words spoken had meant to her, and Mickey felt her already frantic heartbeat pick up by the realization.

For the briefest of seconds their lips parted to allow them both to take a much needed breath. Mickey was about to use the opportunity to express her own feelings, but instead she gasped loudly as she felt Jo enter her, and as if that hadn´t been enough to silence her, Jo´s mouth took possession of hers again, ardently swallowing the moans and whimpers Mickey was unable to control.

Jo moved to gently bite the blonde´s shoulder, a low groan escaping her throat as she felt Mickey´s hips rise off the bed and respond to the thrusting of her hand. "Oh God…" she whispered hoarsely against the smooth and moist skin, feeling her own body react to the sounds emanating from the woman beneath her and the thigh finding its way between her legs.

She felt both hers and Mickey´s release approach rapidly, but was unable to concentrate fully as she suddenly had to fight the fierce panic that had abruptly arisen and taken a smothering and efficient hold of her. "Oh God…" she whispered again, the painful images from her past, the images she was usually able to suppress, racing mercilessly through her head and ending with her admission on the bridge.

Squeezing her eyes tight, she felt the pure terror caused by her loss of control course through her as strongly as pleasure had before, "Oh God, what have I done…"

She didn´t realize she had spoken the words out loud until her head was abruptly caught in an iron grip and forcefully raised to meet blazing green eyes, "Oh no, you don´t, Jo!" Mickey´s face was flushed from both anger and arousal. "You´re not getting scared now! I love you and I know you love me, I´m not going to let you do this. Not anymore!"

She pulled her down for a hard and passionate kiss and after an initial stiffening, she felt Jo respond in kind, their bodies finding a mutual rhythm once more. Breaking apart, she looked intently into Jo´s eyes, her voice quivering as she whispered, "Trust me, Jo, please don´t shut me out. I´m not going to hurt you."

Jo didn´t answer, but instead burrowed her face in Mickey´s neck and intensified her motions, feeling them both rise higher and higher until the point of no return. Biting down on the blonde´s shoulder, she vaguely heard her name cried out as Mickey climaxed and the last thought to flash through her head before she joined her was, Oh yes, you are.

And then at last her back arched and her body shuddered as she allowed herself to fall into oblivion.