Chapter One

The sun was beating down on the car transporting young Alicia McKenna to her new surroundings. The ride from the airport to her aunt's ranch was a long one. It had taken her some time to make the decision to leave home after her parents had passed away, but her aunt had offered and she had accepted. Her Aunt Edna was a very loving woman in her own right. Ever since Ally, as she preferred to be called, could remember Aunt Edna had been like a second mother to her. Most of all, Edna Petersen was Ally's friend.

It had been just six weeks since Ally had received the news of her parents' car accident. The loss had left her entirely empty and unsure of what to do with the rest of her life. She was a young nineteen and had just finished her first year of college. This was the worst pain she had ever felt. A new start was in order, and hopefully, that would begin with her aunt on her ranch. She raked her hand through long blonde hair, feeling completely numb as the car pulled into the driveway of the main house.

Here we go, she thought as the car came to a stop. Ally saw her aunt racing down the drive to meet her with open arms.

"Ally! Ally! You made it!" Edna cried, as she scooped her niece into a warm and full embrace. "I'm so glad you came."

"Hi, Eddi! I'm so happy to see you too! I've missed you terribly." Ally clung to the older woman as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

"Let me look at you, darlin'." Edna pulled away and focused on the frail body in front of her. "Alicia, starving yourself won't bring them back," she whispered, moving back into the hug.

"I know, Eddi, I just don't have much of an appetite these days. Looks to me like you're doing well though." She poked her plump aunt in the belly and smiled, wiping the tears away.

"There's the girl I love. Let's see if we can keep her around for a while, shall we?"

"I'll do my best. Where's Jack?"

"He isn't here right now. He had some meeting in Phoenix. He should be back in a week or so. Don't you worry; he'll be back soon. He's excited about seeing you too.

"Well, good. We used to get together all the time when he was working near Chicago. What's it been, four or five years since we've seen each other? Anyhow, it's been ages."

"Let's get you settled in, honey, and I'll put on some tea. We can talk more in the kitchen, okay?"

Edna grabbed one of Ally's bags as she unloaded them from the car. Ally's eyes clouded with sorrow as she removed the last one.

"All right. I have my whole life in these bags. God, I still can't believe what happened."

"I know, sweetie, I know..." She draped her arm around Ally as they walked toward the main house.

The main house was an old country-style affair. The front door had an antique brass knocker and a thumb latch door handle. As soon as she grasped the handle, she was immediately flooded with memories of her childhood. Ally loved this house. She'd spent many summers here with her aunt, uncle, and cousin. Her Uncle John had died a few years earlier from a heart attack. One afternoon, he had been training one of the horses and had collapsed. Edna was out in the back and saw him go down. She ran to him, but he was already gone by the time she got there.

"That door always reminds me of John, too. It seems like a thousand years ago."

She left her bags and followed Edna to the kitchen. "I know, Eddi; I miss Uncle John so much. You two were my second parents. Now it's just the three of us," Ally said and squeezed her aunt's hand. Edna passed her a mug of tea to share with her free hand.

"I swore that I'd do anything to prevent anyone from collapsing from overexertion here again. I even hired a stable hand. Pretty nutty, eh?"

"That's not nutty, Eddi, you just want to be careful. I don't blame you. You can never be too cautious, believe me. I don't think that I've felt so unnerved as I did the first time I drove somewhere after the accident."

"We have extra sets of eyes watching over us now, honey.

"Yeah, we do. I can feel mom every once in awhile. I bet you can, too."

"My sister and I had a very special bond. I feel her around me almost every day. A part of me died that day..." Her voice trailed off as the emotions caused chills to run through her body.

Ally leaned over and hugged her aunt. The two women hung onto each other until the sobbing ceased.

"Enough of this. You came here to be free of this sadness, and what do I do? I'm sorry, honey."

"Eddi, I came here to start over, but I'll never be free of the sorrow. I do know that time will lessen that pain. I'm just going to take things day by day. That's all I can do right now."

"That sounds like a good plan, dear. Now, let's get you unpacked."

"Okay, will I be in my old room?"

"Actually, I had to give you the guestroom. Syd is staying in your old room. I didn't think that I'd ever get you here on a permanent basis, so I gave the room away when I hired Syd."

"Syd?"

"Yes, Syd is my stable hand. I'll introduce you two later. Right now, let's try to turn that old guestroom into something to your liking. I've been working on making it more homey, but I'm sure that you can put your own special touches on it." They went into the guest room and began working on it together.

"I'm sure it'll be great, Eddi, thank you for everything."

"Aww, honey, I'd walk through fire for you, you know that."

"I love you, too."

The two continued unpacking Ally's room and before long it looked quite comfortable. They just looked at each other and smiled.

The room was a soft emerald color, like Ally's eyes. Several old pictures graced the walls. Some were Edna's original paintings of landscapes and whatnot. There were also framed photographs along the windowsills showing the history of Ally's life. Many were of her with her parents. Her favorite was one of her with her mom and Eddi sitting along the edge of the Grand Canyon. They both seemed to be looking at that picture.

The room was as Ally wanted it to be for the time being. She would dig into the rest of the boxes later. Now she wanted to see her horse, Polka, before it got too dark. "Eddi, I'd like to go out and see Polka, okay?"

"She'll be happy to see you again. Syd will be out there to help if you need it."

"Thanks, Eddi."


Chapter Two

The stable was as she remembered it-two stalls for the horses and a loft that she and Jack used to play in. She saw an older man tending the field with Matty, the other horse.

That must be Syd. I'll go say "hi" after I find Polka. I can't wait to ride her. Maybe it'll take away some of this depression.

She walked out into the corral where she expected to find Polka, but what she did see was nothing short of awesome.

Ally's eyes could not break from the sight in front of her. Her long black hair was flowing through the wind as she and Polka came across the field. She was amazing. The woman had on black jeans, a white shirt, and a black vest. Her body was slim and quite flexible. Ally noticed that she flawlessly led Polka through a number of jumps and did a couple of tricks in the saddle. She seemed a million miles away and as happy as could be.

Ally's focus finally cleared and her heart skipped a beat as the mystery woman approached her.

"Alicia, I presume."

God I never thought I'd hear my name sound so incredible, Ally thought, marveling at the woman's accent.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

"Um, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm Ally. I see that I don't need to worry about Polka getting exercise while I'm away."

"Nope. Edna tells me she's yours. She's a great ride, and so beautiful."

"Yes, she is. I miss her when I'm away, but I guess that won't be a problem anymore. Do you mind if I ride her? I haven't ridden her in ages."

"Of course not. You probably should take it easy on her, we just did some drills and she may be a little tired. This heat doesn't help much either," the tall woman added, wiping her forehead with her forearm. Ally couldn't help but to stare. The woman had the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.

"Are you all right?"

"Ye…yeah I'm fine. Sorry."

The woman slid almost seductively down from the horse and rose to her full height next to Ally's smaller frame. She stood about 6 feet tall and seemed all but angelic. Ally felt very safe standing next to this woman and experienced a closeness that she didn't quite understand.

"She's all yours."

Ally mounted Polka and noticed that the stirrups needed to be adjusted before she found herself on the ground.

"Could you give me a hand?"

"Sure…" The other woman reached under Ally's boot to raise the stirrup on the left side, then walked around to the other side. She raised the other one and held Ally's calf as she led her foot into the stirrup. Ally felt a jolt of energy course through her body. She sat waiting for the surge to end and when it was over she turned to thank the woman, but she was already gone.

Who was that? I didn't even get her name. My God, she was gorgeous.

She cleared her head of the thoughts raging through her mind and urged Polka into the field.

Riding Polka, a part of Ally's childhood returned to her. She felt more comfortable and secure at this moment than she had in two months. She still remembered the phone call the day her parents were killed. She was at the University of Illinois with only one week left for finals when Aunt Edna called. It wasn't unusual for her aunt to call, but the circumstances were more than Ally could possibly have been ready to bear.

********

"Hi, Eddi! God, I can't even tell you how crazed I am right now with finals. I have four tests this next week. I'm totally exhausted. Thank God this will be over in a few days…" She could hear her aunt breathing heavily on the other end and began to suspect that something was terribly wrong.

"What's the matter, Eddi?" She waited for her aunt to find her voice amid the sobs.

"Ally…"

"W-what is it?"

"I don't know how to tell you this…"

"Just tell me, whatever it is, I can take it," Ally said, hoping that would be true.

"Honey, it's your mom and dad." That was all Ally needed to hear. A wave of panic crashed through her as her aunt told her that a drunk driver had killed her parents the previous night. They had been coming home from dinner, when a red Cadillac had swerved into their lane, causing them to drive over the median, and into oncoming traffic. They had died instantly on impact.

"They're really…gone, Eddi?" The tears on the other end of the phone confirmed that it was true.

"Ally, I'm so sorry. I don't know of any words that can lessen this pain any. I'll be in Chicago in a couple of days to take care of…arrangements for them... I don't want you to have to worry about... anything. Oh, Ally... I'm so sorry."

"I'll finish up with finals... and then I'll be home." Her mask of strength was showing through. She had to be strong…for her aunt's sake.

*********

The sobs wracking through Ally's body were almost as strong as what she had experienced at her parents' funeral. It was too difficult to try and understand why her parents were taken so horribly. She just needed to let it out and try to make the best of things.

" I just can't believe they're gone, Polka. They were taken way too soon." She nuzzled her horse and the mare seemed to know what her owner was going through. Polka nuzzled her back and they shared a moment of solace.

The sun was setting and Ally hadn't realized how long she'd been outside. She walked Polka back into her stall and gave her a couple of carrots. She said good-bye and made her way back to the house.


Chapter Three

"Eddi, I'm back," she called.

"In here, dear. I was just about to send a search party out for you. Have a seat; it's time for dinner."

"Let me go wash up, first."

"All right, darlin'."

"Mm, dinner smells wonderful," Ally said, as she slid into her place at the table.

"I can always count on you to compliment my meals."

"Hey, I come by it honestly. I believe it was one of your traits that I inherited."

"Yes, your mother and I were both cursed with healthy appetites. It's a good thing that you didn't develop the tummy that I have though," Eddi said with a chuckle.

"Don't think it won't happen. If I didn't work out, there'd be a lot more of me. Besides, I like the way you look."

"Dig in, it won't be that great if it gets cold."

"Okay, but let me grab a glass of milk to go with this."

"Don't get up, Syd's in the kitchen."

Directing her request to the kitchen, "Hey, Syd? Could you bring a glass of milk with you, dear?" Ally caught a glimpse of an 'OK' sign from the kitchen.

Ally took a bite of her food as her glass was placed in front of her. Not looking up she said, "Thanks, Syd."

"You're welcome, Alicia," came the sultry response.

Ally almost lost control of the food in her mouth. "Uh…you're Syd?"

"Yes, who were you expecting, Medusa?"

"I guess I was just expecting a man…sorry. I know that name can go both ways, I just assumed. Please excuse my lame stereotyping."

"You're forgiven." Sydney smiled, acknowledging the eagerness of her housemate's apologies.

Ally could hardly eat the rest of her food. She could not believe the woman she had seen earlier was the same woman her aunt had referred to as her stable hand. My God! I can't even untie my tongue to ask for some salt!

"Do you not like my cooking, Alicia?"

"Um…no I umm…it's very good. You cooked this?"

"Mhhmmm, I have many skills."

Oh, I can see that, Ally thought to herself. "So, how long have you been working for Eddi?" she asked brightly.

"I came aboard two years ago, I think. I arrived in the States about six years ago from Australia. My family had a sheep herding station there. My parents both passed away and I sold the station to my older brother."

"Why did you decide to come to the states? Australia is a beautiful place."

"Yes, it is. I went to school there for a year and ended up in a relationship that brought me over. When that didn't work out, I heard from some friends that your aunt here was looking for some help. It wasn't sheep, but I knew a lot about horses and stable work. I wanted to see what life might be like in the States, so I decided to stay. I love the work here, and Edna's a wonderful lady."

Sydney ended her tale, and when it appeared that no more of the story was going to be offered, Ally chimed in.

"Well it seems as though Eddi appreciates your work here. This ranch must seem pretty homey to you. Do you miss home?"

"Sometimes, but like I said, I like it here. Edna has been wonderful."

Ally studied the woman as she ate. Sydney couldn't be much older than me, Ally thought. Maybe 25 or so. Ally's appetite finally came back and she continued to eat everything on her plate and what her aunt didn't eat.

"I see it's a family trait," Sydney chuckled.

"You betcha!" Edna said with pride. "Anyone for some apple pie?"

"None for me thanks," Sydney replied.

"Count me in, Eddi. Do you have…?"

"Whipped cream is coming too, don't you worry." She smiled at her niece and walked back into the kitchen.

"So, umm, Syd. Is that short for Sydney?"

"Yes, that's where I was born. I guess my parents liked the name."

"It suits you."

"Do you think so, Alicia?" She smiled a very sexy smile at Ally.

"You can call me 'Ally'."

"I don't think so. I rather like 'Alicia'. It…suits you." She smiled at Ally.

"Well, I've never really been fond of my full name. It always meant that I was in trouble or something."

"Well, we'll just have to fix that now, won't we, Alicia?"

Ally sat there with her mouth slightly open. She just didn't know what to think about Sydney. There was something about her that she just couldn't shake. There was a silent mystery that was building. Ally wanted to find out everything there was to know about her. But why? she wondered.

"Thank you for dinner, Sydney, it was very good." Two can play at this game.

Sydney smiled at the younger girl's use of her full name. Do you know what kind of game that's being played here, Alicia? I wonder…Sydney's thoughts rolled through her mind as Edna walked in with two plates of apple pie. She couldn't hold back a laugh at Ally's child-like expression as the dessert was placed in front of her.

"Oooh, Eddi this looks fabulous."

"Dig in, child."

The rest of the meal was silent as Eddi and Ally ate their pie. Watching them eat this dessert was like watching Michelangelo paint the Vatican. Food, Sydney was learning, was an art to them. Never before had she seen two people 'oooh' and 'aaah' so much in her life. It made her smile in spite of it.

"If you two ladies will excuse me, I have to get the horses ready for the night."

"Sure, Syd and thanks again for a wonderful meal."

"You're welcome, Edna. See you later, Alicia."

"Being that we live under the same roof, you can count on it."

Sydney beamed a large grin and left the room, leaving Ally just staring in her absence.

"Ally? Is there something wrong?"

"Eddi, God, why didn't you warn me about Syd? She's not what I imagined. I really thought that 'Syd' was the older gentleman outside in the fields."

"Why would I warn you about Syd? She's nothing to be afraid of, Ally. I really like her. She's done a great job and she is really good company." Her aunt leaned in conspiratorially. "Quite a head turner, too. I guess it would have saved you some embarrassment though, eh?"

"Exactly! She's really beautiful. You'd think that she'd be doing something other than stable work, though. Not that there's anything wrong with taking care of horses."

"Alicia, my goodness, since when do you have to be ugly to work in a stable?"

"God, Eddi, I didn't mean it like that. I mean Syd isn't just pretty, she is drop-dead gorgeous! She could be a model or an actor, you know? I didn't mean anything by that."

"I know you didn't, child. You're quite the head turner yourself and, as I recall, we were just talking about how much you resemble my younger self. So, no offense is taken dear." She nudged her niece and smiled.

"I'm gonna head outside and breathe in this air that I've missed so much. Montana is a far cry from the Windy City. It's so peaceful and clean here. I'll see if I can help Syd with anything. That is, if she'll accept any help from a city mouse like me."

"I'm sure she will, dear. Go on now. I'll clean up here, don't you worry."

"Okay, Eddi, thanks for the pie, it was wonderful... and Eddi, thanks for bringing me here. I think I'm going to love being here."

"Bye now." Edna smiled at her niece. I do believe that something or someone, will make sure of that, she mused to herself.

Chapter Four

"Need any help?" Sydney started out of deep thought. "Oh, I'm sorry, Syd, I can come back."

"No, that's all right, Alicia. I just wasn't expecting anyone out here. This is the part of the day that I love. Take a listen."

Ally looked into the night's sky and listened, but didn't hear anything. "What are we listening for? I don't hear anything."

"Exactly, all you hear are crickets and the wind. It's so quiet this time of night. Sometimes I just sit out here or up in the loft and look out over the field. This place does remind me of home. Well, minus the sheep of course."

Ally sat and listened to Sydney speak. She felt intoxicated by her voice. It managed to be both soothing and powerful all in the same tone. She didn't notice that the taller woman had stopped talking; she just kept watching her expressions.

"I seem to keep pulling you from your own thoughts."

"I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind. I didn't mean to be rude; I should just leave you alone."

"Alicia, wait..." Sydney held Ally's arm. Both women felt the tingle of that touch.

"Edna told me what happened to your parents. I'm truly sorry. No one should lose anyone they love to an accident like that."

Ally felt the tears welling in her eyes. "Thank you. I guess you know what it's like to lose your parents."

"Yes, but mine died of natural causes and I didn't lose them both at once. You've had to deal with a whole lot more than I did."

The two women studied each other in silence, both feeling an unusual closeness to the other that they were not quite willing to admit.

"So, um..." Ally started, faltering when she felt Sydney wipe a tear from her cheek. "Is there, anything that I can help you with out here?"

"That's sweet of you, but the horses have been watered and they're all set until 5 a.m."

"My God, that's early!"

"Well, that's what your aunt pays me to do."

"Do you like it here? I mean, being all alone and stuff."

"I like it very much. Alicia, I'm not alone here. I have Edna, and now, I have you." She winked at Ally and switched her gaze to the house.

Ally didn't quite know what to make of that last comment, but she was willing to bet, she meant that she had someone else under her roof now.

"Sydney?"

"Yes, Alicia?"

"Thanks for listening, I mean understanding what I was going through…I mean…"

"You're welcome, Alicia. Shall we go in and see what kind of mischief your aunt's getting into?"

"Sure." They smiled at each other and walked back up to the house.


Chapter Five

"Excellent, thanks Tony. I'll see you in a couple days. Bye." Edna hung up the phone as the two women walked into the family room. They plopped themselves onto the couch and waited for her to speak.

"Well, ladies, I'll be leaving tomorrow."

"What? Where are you going Eddi? I just got here," Ally said with a pout.

"Oh, honey, I'll only be gone a week or so. There's some new equipment for the stables that my friend Tony told me about. They are holding an auction in Indiana. If I want to update any of my old equipment I have to get there no later than tomorrow night. I've got to get my name in the hat."

"Ahh, I see."

"Come up and help me pack?"

Ally's face lit up and then she looked over to Syd. "You coming?"

"No, I think I'll just head up to my room and read before bed."

"Are you sure? You can probably get Eddi to tell one of her famous stories about my childhood. She loves to embarrass me."

"Really? How can I turn that down?"

"Good, come on." Ally smiled and unconsciously grabbed Sydney's hand and led her to the stairs, but let go before they proceeded to climb the steps and both women felt the loss of contact.

Sydney and Ally sat on Edna's bed and watched her rifle through her clothes to find the right ones to pack.

"Mustn't look too trendy. Ranch owners should look rustic, don't you think?"

Ally and Sydney exchanged amused glances.

"Eddi, just wear whatever you damn well want. Who cares what other people think? Life is too short. You gotta live your life for you and do what makes you happy," Ally declared.

"When did you become so philosophical?"

"About six weeks ago..." her voice trailed off and she dropped her head down.

Edna walked to the edge of the bed and put her hand on Ally's shoulder. "You'll make it through this, little one. I'll do whatever I can to make it easier for you."

"I'm sorry, Eddi, I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's still all so fresh."

"It doesn't go away, but it will get easier, Alicia. It hurts so badly because of how much your parents meant to you. That's not a bad thing. If it's of any comfort, whenever you need to talk, I'll be here for you."

"Thanks Syd, that means a lot to me."

"So, Syd, do you wanna hear about when Ally broke her leg falling out of the upstairs window?" Edna asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"I wouldn't miss a story like that for anything."

Ally groaned. Looking back now she could laugh about it, but at the time it was none too funny.

********

"Jack, hurry up! We're going to get caught!"

"Ally, just keep quiet! Mom is gonna hear you. Do you want to get out tonight or not?"

"Yeah, but damn it, can't we speed up the process?"

"Well, 'Miss-I-can-do-things-faster-than-anyone', if you'd help me instead of yapping, we'd be finished already."

Edna stared at the air vent leading up to her son's room. She heard voices that she assumed were Jack and Ally. They were conspiring about something, but she was unsure what it was. She thought it would be a good idea to find out why they were still awake when it was well past midnight.

"There, I think it'll hold," Jack said, looking proudly at his handiwork.

"It had better, otherwise you'll have to explain to Aunt Eddi what happened to me."

"Ssshhh! Tie this around you and I'll lower you down."

"Okay, but I'm more than a little nervous about this."

Jack had taken the liberty of stripping all the linens off of his bed and tying the sheets together. The 'rope' would get them in and out of the house without waking anyone. Jack had some buddies that they were going to meet up with. Summer was a time to hang out and drink with your friends, and at 13, Ally felt she needed to learn just how cool summer could be. She knew her older cousin was just the guy to teach her, too.

"Okay, Ally, just sit on the edge of the window and I'll lower you down."

"Are you sure you can hold me, Jack?"

"Come on Ally, you're just wasting time. Let's go!"

"Okay, okay."

Ally sat in the windowsill and lowered herself so that she was dangling by just her hands. She felt the sheets tighten around her as her body was slowly lowered to the ground. She grabbed the sheets and closed her eyes.

Jack was lowering his cousin to the ground without much trouble when there was a knock at his door.

Trying to sound sleepy he said, "Who is it?"

"It's your mother, who do you think it is? Can I come in? I can't find Ally, is she in with you?"

Sweat began to pour off of Jack's face as he decided how to deal with the other end of his 'rope.

"She's not in here, mom."

Edna opened the door and like a deer in the headlights, Jack froze in place, but not before letting go of the rope, causing Ally to fall the rest of the way down to the ground, breaking her leg.

"Well, I said she wasn't in here." Jack said, grinning weakly at his mother who shook her finger at him and ran outside to tend to her niece.

*********

"It took over two months for my leg to heal," Ally said recalling the pain, but chuckling nonetheless.

"Oh, I'll never forget the look on Jack's face when I walked in! He never expected to see me there. Oh my... I'll never forget that as long as I live." Eddi did an imitation of Jack and the three women broke into peals of laughter.

"Me either..." Ally's laughter was quickly giving way to tears. It was, however, a pleasant change to be crying tears of joy.

"You were quite a little spitfire, weren't you, Alicia? My folks would've kicked my ass if I'd tried to break curfew like that."

"She's still a spitfire, so watch out, Sydney!" Edna flashed Sydney a knowing look.

"Well, I see a whole lot of packing is NOT getting done here, so I need to concentrate on the task at hand." Ally walked over to her aunt and kissed her cheek. "I think I'm going to turn in. It's been a long day."

"Sleep well, little one, and welcome home."

"Thanks, Eddi. Good night, Syd."

"Good night," Sydney responded. A few minutes later, on her way back from the bathroom, Sydney looked into the room next to hers and saw the light still on. She stood in the doorway and saw Ally on her bed staring at a photo of her parents.

"Knock, knock."

"Come on in," she patted the bed next to her.

Sydney sat down and looked over the younger woman's shoulder at the photograph.

"You have your mother's eyes."

"She was beautiful. God, I can't believe she's gone." Ally stifled a sob.

"She isn't gone, Alicia. She's with you everyday. With every breath you take, she's there watching over you. They both are. I truly believe that." Sydney consoled her new friend by gently rubbing her back.

"I know, but it hurts."

"It does, but believe me, you're doing exactly what you need to do to let that hurt heal. If you didn't cry and left it all inside it'd eat you up into nothing. Believe me, I learned that lesson the hard way."

"If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when your parents passed away?"

"I was thirteen when my dad passed away and I was just about seventeen when my mom died."

"How did you handle that at such a young age?"

"Well, let's just say I became a very angry young girl," Sydney answered biting her lip. "I got into a lot of trouble, hung out with the wrong people, the usual rebellion."

"What snapped you out of it?"

"Right before I came to the States, I was involved in a relationship that eventually turned very bad. I had to change my life once and for all, just so I could feel again. I had been dead for a long time."

"I'm sorry. Were you in love?"

"Let's just say what I thought was love at the time, turned into something very hateful and hurtful. I don't want to feel for someone like that again. The loss is too big."

"You can't mean that. To deprive yourself of love just because of one incident when you were younger-that's silly!"

"I can't go through it again. Giving yourself entirely to one person just makes you too vulnerable. Showing someone every kink in what makes you 'you', gives them that much more to use against you."

"Sydney, that's not love. Love is something so much more than that."

"Are you an expert on the subject?"

"I'm not an expert, but I do know about love from watching my parents. They loved each other so much; anyone could see it. And FYI, I'll be twenty in a couple months," The words came out more bitterly than she expected.

"Excuse me, you appear younger. I didn't mean to presume anything. That's nice about your parents. From the passionate way you describe it sounds like they had the real thing."

"Yes," Ally said, quietly. She looked at Sydney shyly. "I'm sorry to have jumped into defense mode there."

"No worries." At Ally's yawn, she added, "I guess I should let you rest."

"I'm not really tired, but you have to get up early."

"You'll be all right?"

"I'll be fine. Thanks for the chat. It's nice to talk with someone that actually has an idea of what I'm feeling."

"Anytime you need to talk, let me know. I'll be here for you, Alicia"

"Thanks, Sydney. G'night mate," she teased in her best Australian accent.

"G'night mate," Sydney chuckled.

Ally turned down her bedding and climbed under the blankets. Tucking herself in she said a quiet prayer to her parents thanking them for giving her a home with Edna and for Sydney. She closed her eyes and settled into a restless sleep.

********

Sydney awoke to a new noise in the house. She checked her clock and it glowed 2:37. Must have been something outside, she mused.

She lay down and tried to get back to sleep.

She heard the same sound again and decided that she wouldn't get any sleep without figuring out what the noise was. She put on a shirt and shorts and made her way towards the hall. She opened the door to the hallway and the sound grew louder; this time she could place it. Ally was crying and in the middle of a nightmare. Sydney quietly knocked on the door. There was no response except for the continued sobs.

Sydney opened the door and confirmed her suspicions. Ally was in bed tossing and turning as she cried.

"No... please... no!"

She made her way to the bed and slowly stroked Ally's hair. The small cries ceased and her new friend appeared to be sleeping more peaceful than before. Sydney got up and stood in the doorway. After another glance at the sleeping form, she closed the door and returned to her room.

She stripped off her clothes and jumped back into bed. Moments later, sleep claimed her.

********

Sydney stirred in her sleep. A familiar, yet foreign scent wafted under her nose. She slowly opened her eyes to find Ally nestled in her arms. The clock read 3:45. Perhaps Ally walked in her sleep and wound up in the most familiar room. Sydney enjoyed the feel of the warm body next to hers. It had been a while since she'd shared her bed with anyone. Especially someone as beautiful as Ally.

I won't wake her, she needs to sleep, Sydney thought. Hopefully she won't be too embarrassed in the morning. If she knew that she spent the night in the arms of a naked woman, she might feel a little self-conscious. Sydney smiled. Yes, tomorrow indeed could wait-she relished the feel of Ally in her arms. She closed her eyes and waited for daylight.


Chapter Six

Ally stretched out in her sleepy haze and yawned. She felt rested for the first time in several weeks. As her eyes began to focus, she was surprised to find herself in her old room.

"Oh my God! How did I get in here? Great, just great. I can't believe you, Ally. This is the stupidest thing you've done in a long time! Stupid... stupid..." she spouted aloud, trailing off as she tripped on her way out of Sydney's room.

"Shit! Now how am I going to explain this one? I wonder if Eddi knows. Can't face this until after a shower…I look like hell," she reasoned with the image in her mirror.

Her aunt was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table.

"Mornin', Eddi."

"Almost good afternoon, child. I was hoping to say good-bye before I left."

"When is your flight?"

"I need to leave in a half-hour. I left the name and number of the hotel I'm staying at by the phone in the family room, but you two girls should be fine. There's plenty of food and Sydney can take care of the animals."

"All right, Eddi. Is there anything I can do for you before you go?"

"Promise me that you'll behave yourself while I'm gone."

She knows! Paranoid thoughts raced through her head as she grasped for a reply.

"You're worried about me?" she choked out with nervous grin.

"I know you better than you know yourself; just remember that." We'll just see what happens while I'm gone.

"Is that bacon I smell?"

"That's my girl. We'll fill you out yet."

"With all of this home cooking, I don't stand a chance."

"Help yourself. I'm gonna go out to see if Syd needs anything before I leave."

"Like a lock on her door?" Ally muttered under her breath, arranging several bacon slices on bread.

"What, hon?" Edna asked.

"Nothing, Eddi, I'm just hungry. I'll meet you outside in a couple of minutes." Ally finished her preparations and dug into her bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.

*********

Edna found Sydney in the field with Polka and signaled for her to come in. Sydney made her way toward the stable.

"Hey there, Edna, what can I do for you?"

"It's what I can do for you, Syd."

"Hmm?" She shook her head at Edna not understanding what she meant.

"I just came out here to see if there was anything that you needed before I left."

"Oh, thanks, but I think that I have everything that I want."

"Yes, of course."

"I think we'll be fine, but thanks again for asking. Have a safe trip."

"Syd, there is one thing I'd like you to do for me."

"Name it."

"Please keep an eye on Ally. I thought I heard her crying last night."

"I will, Edna, I promise. She'll be in good hands while you're away."

"I'm sure she will be, thanks." Edna gave her a devilish smile and walked towards the main house.

"Now what was that about?" Sydney asked aloud.

********

Back inside Ally was washing off her plate as her aunt walked into the house.

"Well, it looks as if everything is in order here. Take care, my dear. See you in about a week."

"Don't worry, Eddi, I'll be fine."

"I know, dear, just try to get yourself situated and make this your home."

"Right. I think I'll tackle the rest of my boxes today. Have a safe trip, okay?"

"Will do, honey. Come here." Edna pulled Ally in close for a hug. Ally needed to know that she was loved.


Chapter Seven

Sydney was in the stable tending to Matty and Polka when Ally walked in.

"Hey there." Trying to smile away her nervousness.

"So, the little sleepwalker awakens."

Oh shit, Ally thought. "You don't pull any punches, do you."

"No harm, no foul. Don't worry, it was kind of nice to share a bed again."

"Well good, glad I could help…I think."

"Talking last night got me thinking. Maybe I was too young when all of my emotions were ganging up on me." Sydney stopped what she was doing to look into Ally's eyes. "Maybe I will want to give my heart to someone…sometime."

"Just make sure that they deserve it. Don't waste your time otherwise. If someone was to hurt you, I can't promise that I wouldn't do some damage to them."

"Oh, darlin', I didn't know you cared," she drawled.

"You made me care. You have a heart of gold. I just couldn't stand to see someone walk all over it."

"That means a lot to me, thank you."

"You're welcome, Sydney." She liked the way that name dripped from her lips.

"What do you have planned for today?"

"I'm going to tackle the rest of my boxes this afternoon. The sooner I get settled in, the sooner I'll feel more at home. I hate living out of suitcases."

"Sounds like a good idea. Shall I leave Polka out of the stalls for you?"

"Yes, please. I'd love a ride later on. Maybe you could ride Matty and come with me."

"I'd like that. I'll see you later."

"All right."

As she walked back toward the house Ally could feel Sydney's eyes on her. She turned to see if the feeling had been right and found the warmest set of eyes looking back at her. Although her stomach crept into her throat, she managed to smile.


Chapter Eight

Ally started up the stairs. She walked past Sydney's room and a blush crept up her neck as the memories of where she had woken up came back to her. She shook off those feelings and moved to the task at hand.

There were four boxes staring at her and she stared right back at them before she finally gave in.

"All right, let's get this over with," she said to the inanimate objects.

An hour later, Ally sat staring at her last box, her boom box blaring out some old Prince tunes.

"The beautiful ones you always seem to lose."

"Isn't that the truth?" she said to the CD player.

Ally began screeching out her own version of the lust-filled lyrics. Sydney watched from the hall and smiled.

"Baby, baby, baby, I want you! Yes I do! Oh yeah, baby! Woohoo!" Ally was totally into it, improvising lyrics left and right when she looked up. Sydney was giggling in the doorway.

"OH MY GOD! Don't do that!"

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to frighten you. I just didn't want to interrupt," Sydney explained between her fits of laughter.

"It's ok. Let me turn this down." Ally lowered the volume. "Well, are you going to lurk in my doorway all day or do you want to come in?"

"Actually, I was coming to see what you wanted for dinner," Sydney prodded.

"Dinner? Is it that late already?" Ally looked at her watch.

"No, but I need to prepare for it."

"You don't need to cook for me. I can just whip something up." Ally said.

"You whipping something up is a rather scary thought," the older woman quipped.

"I can cook, I'll have you know," she replied in mock indignation.

"I was planning some spaghetti if you're game."

"Ooh, that sounds great. Do you need help?"

"Yes, you can show up at the table at around six. I put Polka and Matty back in for now. Maybe we can get that ride after dinner. See you in about two hours?"

"Cool. Thanks. And Syd?"

"Yeah?" The tall woman turned.

"I'm sorry about coming into your room last night. I must've just gone there out of habit."

"Don't worry about it Ally. It was…nice."

"Okay."

Nice? Wow, definitely not the answer I was expecting. Maybe she's…no way. The way she looks, she could have anyone she wanted. Why would she look twice at me? I've got way too much baggage.

It was 5:30 when Ally finished putting away the last of her things. "Good, I have a half hour to clean up before chow," she announced to her room.


Chapter Nine

The stove was eliciting wonderful smells that Ally's nose discovered instantly. Her stomach chimed in and she made her way down the stairs to see if there was anything she could do to help with dinner.

The sight she beheld took her breath away. The table was dressed with candles and there were fresh flowers in the vase. Boy, it's almost like a date.

The wine was being chilled off to the side of the dishes and her chef/server/maitre d' was still standing at the stove watching the sauce simmer.

"Sydney?"

"Oh, hey, I didn't hear you come in. You startled me."

"Yeah well, paybacks are a bitch. And believe me, I still owe you after the singing thing."

"Ooh," Sydney grinned. "Sit down, dinner's just about ready."

Ally watched as Sydney put ladles full of the sauce into a bowl, set it down on the table, walked back into the kitchen, opened the oven, and took out what appeared to be garlic bread. She accidentally touched the baking sheet without a potholder.

"Shit! Ouch! I can't believe I did that."

Ally flew out of her chair and turned on the cold water. She took hold of Sydney's finger and let the water run over the burned skin.

"Thanks," Sydney said gazing into caring eyes.

"You're welcome." She took Sydney's finger and began to blow onto the injured digit.

Sydney noted that the younger woman seemed to tend to her so naturally. God, would you take care of me like this forever? Blowing on Sydney's finger caused a jolt of desire to wash over Ally. She seemed to hear the question floating through Sydney's mind. Both women were accepting the bond that was forming between them with open arms. The closeness felt so natural that trying to fight it was useless, and extremely futile.

"Better?"

"Much, thank you. You have such a warm touch. Very nurturing, thanks," Sydney answered quietly.

"Something my mom passed down to me."

"Remind me to say a prayer of thanks to her."

"You just did."

"I guess so. They say when the living thinks of the dead, the dead can hear their thoughts. Maybe they're right." Sydney grew pensive.

"I think so. Are you well enough to eat?"

"Absolutely, have a seat. The pasta and sauce are on the table. I'll get the bread."

"Oh no, I've seen what happens to you when you handle hot bread. I'll get it. You go sit down. You've done all the cooking, the least I can do is bring in a basket." The young woman smiled brightly.

"Okay."

Ally set the bread on the table and took her place. "Sydney, this is so nice of you. The table looks wonderful. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were trying to wine and dine me."

"Heaven forbid." Sydney smiled innocently. "Glad you like it. I just wanted it to feel cozy for you. You know, like home."

"That's incredibly sweet."

The two ate in relative silence. The only sounds were Pachelbel's Canon and other Baroque classics coming from the speakers in the other room-Ally's ears perked up. "I really love this music. Great choice." Ally nodded toward the lilting sounds.

"Thanks, I've always loved Baroque music. I'm glad you like it, too."

"I love Pachelbel, especially the music from the Rhapsody on a Theme from Paganini. I absolutely love that piece. You know they used that in the movie 'Somewhere in Time. '"

"Yes, oh I loved that movie!" Sydney said. "God, I can't tell you how many times I've seen that film. Watching soul mates find each other after a lifetime. Their love transcended time. It breaks my heart and heals it all in the same motion. I'm just glad the ending was the way it was, I don't think I would've liked it otherwise."

"I totally agree! I even watch it when I'm feeling down," Ally smiled shyly.

"Why? Doesn't that add to your depression?"

"Not really, the way I look at it, as bad as things are, God, I couldn't imagine having the other half of my soul come into my life, and then disappear into nothing. That couple had it much worse than I do, so it makes me look at my problems differently. Things don't seem so bad, you know?"

"Well, that's something to think about," Sydney answered.

"I wonder if Eddi has that film. I'd love to watch it with someone that loves it as much as I do," Ally said, silently hoping Sydney would get the hint.

"Well, if she does, count me in."

"Note to self: Find 'Somewhere in Time'," Ally said with a wink.

They giggled. Soft conversation blended with the wine and dinner and it was a perfect meal for each of them.

"Thanks for dinner, it was wonderful."

"My pleasure. I enjoyed your company. I like you Alicia, I'm glad that you're here."

"I like you too. This was the best meal and conversation I've had in a very long time. Thank you."

Sydney started to clear the table, so Ally stood to help with the chore.

"How about you dry while I wash?" Ally said to Sydney.

"Sounds good."

Ally handed dishes to Sydney who was just staring at Ally's hands in the soapy water. Her mind began to fill with thoughts of desire involving Ally and a hot tub. She mentally kicked herself and dropped one of the plates.

"Earth to Sydney! Where were you?"

"That might be a better question for later," she said in a devilish tone.

"Uh-oh, I smell trouble."

"I do trouble best," Sydney said, cracking the towel against Ally's butt.

"Hey! You'd better cut that out or you'll be in for a fight you won't win!" Ally warned.

"Oooooohh, a challenge. Catch me if you can!" Sydney said landing another 'thwack' against Ally's thigh.

"You're a dead woman!" Ally yelled at the retreating form. "You'd better run, 'cause when I catch up with you, you're going to wish you hadn't started this!" She bent to pick the broken dish, which thankfully had split cleanly into two parts. She then armed herself with a towel and dipped it into the water. "She's going to be sorry she waged war with me," she said acknowledging the hunt was on.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"Aliiiiiiiciiiiiaaaaaaaaa, come and get meeeeee." Sydney taunted back at her in a singsong voice.

"You're toast!" Ally called. She walked over to the stereo and turned off the music.

Sydney smiled inwardly at Ally's attempt to track her. She began to move quietly from room to room following at a safe distance behind the younger woman. She decided that play time was about to begin. She quickened her pace so she was just a few feet away from Ally, at which point she was surprised by the younger woman turning suddenly and lashing the towel at her. It landed squarely on Sydney's upper thigh.

"Ow!" Sydney shrieked.

"I told you, I wouldn't lose this fight! Jack and I spent a good majority of our childhood doing just this."

"Oh yeah? I had an older brother too, missy."

Sydney whipped her towel only to have Ally grab it in mid air.

"Ha! I told you. You may be older, but I have more experience with towel warfare. Do you give or do I need to teach you another lesson?"

"More experience huh? How much experience? I bet Jack didn't teach you this..." Sydney said as she grabbed Ally's body and playfully tossed her to the floor pinning her arms above her head.

Ally looked into Sydney's eyes and found the home she had been looking for all of her life. She continued to stare as Sydney's expression changed from playfulness to something entirely more fervent. Ally wanted this badly, but Sydney, overwhelmed with emotion, let her go and retreated into the other room without another word.

"Sydney?" Ally's voice chased after her. "Hey. Are you all right?" Ally gently touched Sydney's arm.

"Please don't," was all Sydney could muster.

"Did I do something wrong?" Ally asked, her voice contrite.

"No, Alicia, it's nothing you did. I think I need to go outside for a while. Please, excuse me," Sydney said as if asking permission. Ally stepped aside.

She watched as the door closed and wondered what had happened that she missed. Did she pick up on my feelings? Great, maybe she isn't attracted to me. Maybe she doesn't like me like that. Damn, I would've bet money after the dinner she prepared. God, I can't believe that I'm having these feelings. I've never looked at another woman this way, and now that I have, it's gotten me into trouble. Shit! God, what she must think of me! She scolded herself for not thinking about Sydney's feelings. She contemplated going after her, but resisted the temptation.


Chapter Ten

"All right, sweetheart I'll see you when you get home. Don't work so hard. I love you," Sydney told her lover.

"I love you, too, Syd, I should be done with this project hopefully in about four hours. I'll be home as soon as I'm done here, I promise."

"Okay, Sharon, take care, hon," Sydney said, hanging up the phone.

"You too. Bye," Sharon said, placing the receiver in the cradle on her desk.

The tall redhead sitting across from her smiled wide as she approached Sharon like a hunter finding its prey.

"We've got four hours. You're all mine until then," she said as she straddled Sharon's lap.

"Oh, yeah, baby, we got a loooong time. I can do a lot to you in four hours. What are you wearing under that skirt, baby?" Sharon growled as she grabbed Tina's naked ass.

"You'd know better than anyone. Oooh yeah, I like that," Tina cooed into Sharon's ear.

***

"My poor workaholic, I think I'll bring her a little picnic." Sydney grinned as she considered her plan. "She'll be so surprised to see me. God, I can't wait to see the expression on her face." Sydney packed up the dinner excitedly. She threw in a bottle of wine for good measure and made her way out the door.

***

"Oh, God... yes... right there…" Tina panted from on top of the desk. Sharon had her head buried in between Tina's thighs trying hard to keep up with the body writhing above her.

"Yeah, baby…I can feel how close you are... come on baby…come for me," Sharon coaxed, as she thrust her fingers deep inside the redhead. "I love the way you sound, God, I love you, Tina…mmm…" Sharon moaned as she felt herself slipping over the edge.

The two women found a rhythm between them and began to thrust their bodies for all that they were worth.

"Yes... yes... yes!" Tina shouted.

"Yesssss Tina…Oh, God! Yes!"

The two were oblivious to Sharon's door opening and Sydney walking in. Sydney's smile changed quickly to a fierce angry howl.

"NOOOOO!" Sydney shouted out as she witnessed the most serious betrayal of her life. Her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces and there was nothing she could do about it.

The two women climaxed simultaneously as Sydney walked in and couldn't stop their bodies until it was too late. Sharon tried to move from underneath Tina, but couldn't convince her body to budge.

"Syd…Syd, wait." Sharon panted.

"What, Sharon? Is this where you say 'this isn't what it looks like?' Too fucking bad that won't work in this case. Who's your whore?" Sydney barked, turning toward the young redhead still on the desk across the room. "Nice to meet you, I'm Sydney Thompson, Sharon's girlfriend."

Tina saw the six-foot, black haired woman approach her and began to get very nervous. She wasn't sure what Sydney had planned.

"So, Sharon, aren't you going to introduce us? We do have so much in common don't we?" Sydney spat out, whirling on her lover.

"Tina."

"Ahhh, Tina. Well, at least I know what name to shout out when I break your fucking head open!"

"Syd, No!" Sharon shouted.

"Oh, sticking up for your new fling? Too fucking bad. I gave up everything for you and this is what I get in return? You Bitch! You took me halfway around the world only to spit in my face? Fuck, Sharon, you couldn't have done this in Australia?"

"Oh, please, you act as if it never happens." Sharon said very coldly.

"It doesn't happen to me," Sydney growled, her voice shaking with rage.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, because frankly, Syd, it's happening to you, right now."

Sydney spit at Sharon and grabbed Tina by her hair.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't beat the shit out of you right now?" Sydney threatened.

"It wasn't my idea, it was Sharon's." Tina pleaded.

"Oh, you see, Sharon; your little puta can't even take responsibility for her own affairs. How old are ya, darlin'? Seventeen, eighteen? Robbing the cradle don't you think? God you're pathetic."

"Oh, Syd, look at yourself," Sharon mocked Sydney's pain. "You're the pathetic one. You're so gullible. Someone tells you that they love you, and you buy it without question. You leave yourself open for things like this. I saw what you were in school; I knew what you had done. I knew that I could have you if I made you believe that I loved the person you were." She ignored the trembling in the tall woman's body. "All your baggage was nothing more than an invitation to have my cake and eat it, too. I've had more than just Tina here and I always had a beauty like you on my arm wherever we went. Every time I came home I had someone waiting for me in my bed. What a beautiful relationship." Sharon said smugly, sliding nonchalantly into her chair and crossing her naked legs.

"So, everything was a lie?" Sydney asked, her voice stilted in fury. "So, I was a pretty plaything with a fucked up life, that you took control over? So I was just a hood ornament for you; a goddamn trophy? You fucking cu…no, I won't say it." Sydney let go of Tina's hair and less than gently patted her head. "I'll leave you to your pet. Don't come home tonight if you know what's good for you. I'll be gone by the morning. Don't come looking for me either, I don't want to be found by you." Sydney smiled as she offered that warning. She kicked the picnic food she'd brought against the wall and slammed the door to Sharon's office as she left.

*****

Sydney's thoughts drifted to the past. Her feelings for Ally brought the pain of her past relationship to the forefront of her mind. She sat in the loft of the barn that felt so close to home. Her heart was warring with her mind as she looked out the window. I thought I was done thinking about her. Damn it, Alicia. I don't think I'm ready for this, yet. She wiped the tears from her eyes and face and enjoyed the peace the colors of the night sky gave to her.

Ally fought with herself about going after Sydney. If she wanted you out there, she would have invited you to come initially. Stay put, missy. Nope, can't do that. Before she knew it, she was outside looking for Sydney.

She walked into the stable only to find Matty and Polka looking at her in wonder.

"Hi, girls, have you seen a tall, beautiful, brunette in here tonight?" she asked the horses only to get no response. Unless they were attempting to communicate something deeper in the munching of the carrots she'd fed them. "Okay, if I were out here and not wanting to be found, where would I go?" Ally looked around and decided that the loft would be a sure bet. It was rather dark up there so she fetched an old lantern from the house.

She lit the lantern and slowly crept up the ladder to the loft. Sitting with her legs draped over the edge of the window was her runaway.

"Do I need a secret handshake or can anyone play up here?" Ally said trying to lighten the mood.

"Come over here and look at this sky. It's just remarkable."

Ally joined her, and watched as the remainder of color left the sky. "Wow, I forgot how beautiful things were up here. You don't get colors like that in Chicago. There is a lot, actually, that I didn't get in Chicago." Ally thought that Sydney might catch the subtle hint thrown in her direction.

"I am sorry for earlier; I don't know what came over me."

"What do you mean? We were just having some fun. No harm, no foul, to quote a friend of mine," Ally nudged Sydney hoping to make her smile.

"You really amaze me, Alicia."

"What do you mean?" the young woman asked.

"I mean, most women I've encountered would have just let me sit out here and dwell on what almost happened tonight."

"So, I wasn't wrong about those feelings, you feel them too." It was more of a statement then a question.

"Yes, I just don't know what to do about them." Sydney turned to the younger woman. "Ally, did you know that I was attracted to women?"

"No, I just felt an overwhelming attraction to you and a familiarity that was only getting stronger. I know we just met, but I swear that I've known you all of my life."

"I won't deny my attraction to you, but I also told you how afraid I am of giving myself to anyone. I'm not sure I'm ready for this yet. Please forgive me." The dark head dropped forlornly.

"There is nothing to forgive, sweetie," Ally said warmly. "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable in any way. Friends?" Ally held out her hand.

Sydney stood and gently pulled the smaller woman into her arms. Home, I'm definitely home, was all that was going through the minds of both women. The embrace was so warm and so gentle that neither woman wanted to be the one the end the contact. The closeness came to an end when Ally felt Sydney's body stiffen.

"What's wrong, Sydney? Talk to me."

"I need to know something," Sydney said quietly.

"Anything." Ally felt Sydney's stare down to her toes. Whatever she needed to know, Ally knew that the truth would be the only way to answer.

"I... need to know..." her voice trailed off. The woman moved closer and closer until all Ally could feel was Sydney's breath against her mouth.

"What?" Ally almost pleaded with her taller companion.

"Kiss me... Alicia... please... I need to know..." Sydney's heart was racing with anticipation.

Sydney felt the soft lips touch hers for the first time. The kiss was so gentle and yielding she could have stayed there forever.

Ally had never felt the kiss of another woman. She'd never expected such softness. It was incredible.

They sank deeper into the kiss until Sydney finally pulled away. "God, I'm sorry! I don't mean to tease you like this. It isn't fair of me. I just needed to know. I couldn't bear not knowing what your lips felt like on mine."

Ally felt stung by this admission. "And what did I feel like?" the young woman sputtered. "Did I fulfill your curiosity? Is that all that was? A thirst for knowledge? Well, know this. I will not be played with; either you want this or you don't. I don't think I can handle any mind games right now, okay?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"That's always the case isn't it? Good night, Sydney." Ally spun on her heels, climbed down the ladder, and went back to the house.

"Well, that went well," Sydney muttered, feeling horrible as she stared into the night sky.


Chapter Eleven

Ally didn't realize what time it was, she just ran into her room, slammed the door, and locked it. She looked at her clock and saw that it was only around 9:00. She wasn't tired; she just needed to get away from Sydney. She lay on her bed with her face pressed into her pillow and wept. She cried for what could have been, she cried for the loss of her parents, but most of all she cried for a lost friendship with a wonderful woman--that would be the biggest blow.

"Why... why do I have such strong feelings for her? I just met her for God's sake! Why does life always have to be so friggin' difficult?" The tears overpowered her emotionally exhausted body finally letting sleep claim her.

Ally awoke to find her lights on, as well as her clothing. Sleep clouded her sight momentarily. She rubbed her eyes to try and focus on her room. The guestroom. She even has my room. Ally looked around at the progress she had made earlier and only then did she notice a small piece of paper sticking out from under her door.

***

Dearest Alicia,

I am not sure how to apologize for putting you through what I did this evening. I mean how could you not pick up on my attraction to you? Look at the dinner we shared. It could have easily been a date. You hit the nail on the head when you suggested that I was trying to wine and dine you. I don't know if I can remember having had such a wonderful time as I did tonight. You're a beautiful woman, and if you let me get to know you better, I may get over my fears. I know I don't deserve such a chance, but I'm asking you as humbly as I can to please find it in your heart to forgive me.

It's been so long since I've known any warmth and affection that I guess I freaked out. What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for using you, because essentially that's what I did. I did nothing less than that. I tried to have my cake and eat it too, I guess. I shouldn't have played with your emotions. You admitted your feelings to me, and that couldn't have been an easy thing for you. I don't know much about your past, but I'm willing to bet that you'd never kissed a woman before. I probably scared that notion from your head as well, and for that, again, I'm sorry.

I'd love to try and start over. If there is the slightest chance that this may happen I'll accept any punishment you deem fit for my behavior. I was wrong for treating you like that. It's little wonder that I haven't been with anyone for so long, it's probably a good thing for everyone.

Anyway, I just wanted apologize. If you want to talk about it later, come to my room, I'm sure I'll be up.

With much regret,

Sydney

***

Ally put down the letter and sighed. Well, what do you know? Maybe we can salvage a friendship after all.

Ally made her way toward the light coming from her old room. Sydney had fallen asleep with her arms around a stuffed panda-the sight of her warmed Ally's heart. She lay uncovered. Ally pulled the covers over her friend when Sydney stirred slightly and whispered, "Thank you."

"We'll talk tomorrow. Sleep now," Ally kissed the top of Sydney's head. She rose to leave, but the look in Sydney's eyes seemed to warrant further conversation.

"What is it, Syd?"

"Your kindness-it amazes me. Even after what I did, you still came and tucked me in. I don't deserve you.

"Don't say that. Try and get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning. Jack should be home tomorrow, too. I think that's what his message said."

"G'night, mate.

Chuckling at their little joke, she echoed a "G'night, mate," in her best Aussie accent.

********

Ally woke up in her own bed at around 10 o'clock. She was very thankful that her subconscious hadn't betrayed her. She took a quick shower.

"God, why does everything need to be so goddamned complicated? All I ask is that I get a good friend out of this. Sydney seems like a good person. I don't get any bad vibes from her. Well other than the fact that she likes to tease me mercilessly. I could see myself getting quite attached. I just need to channel my desire for her into our friendship; I can do that. I have no choice... " She told the mirror.

Delicious smells from the kitchen filled her nostrils when she opened the bathroom door. God, does she always cook like this?

She went into her room and put on some clothes. She raked a comb through her long locks and headed downstairs. To her surprise Sydney was nowhere to be found, instead she found Jack seated at the table with one of his friends.

"Jack! You made it!"

"Hey, Squirt! Wow, look at you, all grown up," Jack said as she dove in for a hug. "I guess the 'squirt' thing still applies though, huh?"

She jabbed him in the side at his dig about her height. "I'm not a squirt, I'm just vertically challenged," she said noticing another handsome face watching her. "I'm sorry, you must think we're terribly rude, I'm Alicia, Ally for short."

He stood and extended his hand. "Peter, Pete for short."

"Short? I think not," Ally said.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Once I reached six foot two, my dad said he would disown me if I didn't play basketball."

"And?"

"I sucked at basketball, but he eventually forgave me."

"Mighty nice of him. Who is responsible for the incredible aromas wafting through this house? It can't be Jack, I have never seen him pick up anything resembling a frying pan." Jack raised his brow at his cousin, and she immediately was taken off guard. "No way! You can cook now too? It has been a long time."

"Yes, it has, Squirt. What's it been, 4 years? I was so sad to hear about your folks. I was in Asia when I got the news. I'm sorry I didn't make it to the funeral."

"It's all right, Jack, I understand. It was so unexpected, but you were there in spirit, and I did receive your flowers and card. Thank you by the way. It helped more than you know."

"I just wish there had been something more that I could've done."

"You did plenty. Thanks for caring."

"I've always thought of you as the sister I never had."

"I feel the same way about you, Jack. It's different when you're an only child. I sometimes wonder what it would've been like to have siblings, you know? Would I be the person that I am now…that kind of stuff? Oh gosh... listen to me ramble on. Sorry, Pete."

"Don't apologize. You've been though a terrible time. Far be it for me to tell you not to talk about it in my presence."

"Have I told you that you have great taste in friends, Jack?"

"Yeah, at least this time you didn't have to break your leg to meet them."

"What?" Pete asked.

"Long story. Ask my mom when she gets back."

"Make sure that I'm far away when she tells that story again. I already had to sit through it again when she told it to Syd."

"Oh, so you've met. What do you think of her? I think she's great. What a looker she is, too." Jack elbowed Ally.

Ally rolled her eyes.

"So, are you hungry? I think I made a little too much breakfast. You think you can help me out?"

"You remember who you're talking to, right?" She gave him a dirty look, took a plate from the table, and rushed into the kitchen.

Ally loaded her plate with eggs, bacon, and bagels with jelly. She grabbed a glass of orange juice for good measure and made her way back to the table. Peter just watched in awe as this tiny woman packed a meal fit for an army into her small frame.

"Where do you put it?"

"In here," she patted her full tummy.

"Would have fooled me. You look as if you eat like a bird."

"Looks can be deceiving. Don't always trust your eyes, you might see things that aren't there."

"I'll try to remember that," Peter responded with a hint of a grin.

"How long are you here for?" Ally asked noticing how rich his brown eyes were.

"Only till the end of the week. Then Jack and I need to head back to Phoenix to see about our latest deal. We're partners, you see. The people were dealing with let us have a week to play while they made up their minds about our offer."

"Ah, a couple of tycoons!"

All three went out to the stables where they found Sydney brushing down Matty.

"Morning, Alicia," Sydney said.

"Mornin'. Jack's home," Ally said cheerfully. "Have you met Peter, Jack's partner?"

"Yes, Peter's been here before. We chatted for a bit while you were still asleep."

"Ah, sorry."

"No worries. How'd you sleep?"

"Like a baby. I didn't seem to wander last night either, so it was a bonus to wake up in my own bed this morning."

"I can imagine it was quite a relief." Sydney smiled despite the disappointment. She had almost hoped that Ally would stumble back into her room. She enjoyed holding Ally as she slept.

"Well, I would have hated to interrupt your sleep again."

"How about you? Were you able to fall asleep after I left?"

"I finally fell asleep. I also had a chance to really think about what happened last night. After reading your note, I found out that I have a wonderful friendship starting here with you. I'd be a fool not to try and keep that. I've lost the two people that were my life. I don't want to lose anymore." Ally's eyes filled with unshed tears.

"I'd like that too," Sydney agreed warmly. "Thank you and again, please know how sorry I am about last night. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"It's forgotten - friends again?"

"Friends." Sydney looked up into Ally's green eyes and reached to brush away a stray tear that had fallen onto her cheek. She resisted the urge to caress her cheek. "You're so beaut…"

Jack horned into their conversation cutting her off and startling Ally. "So, what's up girls? Hey, Ally, Pete wants a lesson. You think you can teach him some of the finer points of riding?

"Um, sure. I'd love to." Turning back to Sydney, "We'll talk more later, I promise." She stroked Sydney's arm lightly, took Matty's bridle and lead her into the stable.


Chapter Twelve

Ally walked into the stable and saw Pete sizing up Polka.

"Ready for your first lesson?" Ally asked.

"You know, I've never stood next to a horse before, damn they're big."

"How else could they hold us, silly?" The fair-haired woman teased.

"Yeah well, I was just saying. It feels weird seeing them so close."

"Put your foot in the stirrup and climb aboard Matty. She's very gentle, so don't worry," she reassured him.

Peter did as instructed and then found the other stirrup.

"Okay, step one, hold the reigns at all times. If you want to turn left, pull slightly towards the left and she will turn. Same goes for the right," she instructed as she climbed onto Polka.

"What about walking, running, and whatnot?"

"To get her moving, just squeeze your legs around her belly. Like this..." she demonstrated the action with Polka. He did as she said and they were slowly making their way out to the fields.

"Now if you want to speed things up, squeeze your legs a couple times and she will start to quicken her pace." She showed him as she nudged her legs against Polka a few times until they were off into a slow canter. Pete did the same and caught up to Ally.

"Okay, my biggest question. How do you stop?"

Giggling, Ally replied, "Just pull on the reigns, but not too hard. You don't want to hurt her mouth. Let's go out a little further, there is a beautiful pond down there I haven't seen since I was a kid. I'll lead the way."

"Lead on!" Pete nudged his legs against Matty and they were off.

Sydney watched as the two disappeared from sight.

********

Jack crept up on Sydney and spooked her. "Hey there! Anything I can help you with?"

"Jesus, Jack! You scared the shit out of me!" Sydney spat out.

"Sorry, you just looked kind of out of it. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. You want to help, you say?"

"Sure, I need to do something. Those two won't be back for a while, and I'm sure you could use the help."

"Well, since you were kind enough to scare me to death, you can help me shovel out the stalls," she smiled wickedly and handed him a shovel.

"Me and my big mouth."

The two headed back into the stalls and began their glamorous chore.

"Man, I haven't seen Ally in so long, my God she's all grown up now. She's beautiful."

"Yes, she is," Sydney said not wanting to elaborate on the incredible lithe body, or the intoxicating fragrance Ally's body elicited, or the way her eyes made Sydney's heart melt, or the feel of her lips...

"Syd? Syd?" Jack said snapping his fingers in front of her face.

"Did you say something?" Sydney sputtered, more than a little embarrassed at being caught off-guard.

"Yeah, I asked you how Ally seemed to you. Is she doing all right?"

"Oh, sorry. Well, her first night here she did cry in her sleep but I think with a little help from family and friends, she'll be fine. I have to say considering that the cards she's been dealt, she's doing incredibly well. I don't think I'd be as together as she is. She's an incredible young woman."

"My partner thinks so too. I couldn't shut him up in the stables. It's like being school again, him asking me to ask her for a riding lesson. Jeez, how old are we?" Jack chuckled.

Sydney was not amused.

"So, how long are you home for?" Sydney asked wishing Pete's stay would come to an abrupt end.

"Well, it depends on the client. We have an offer on the table, and as soon as they make a decision, we have to go back to Phoenix to either pick up the pieces, or sign contracts and such."

"Let's just hope that it works out for everybody." She was including herself in that equation.

"Yes, let's," he replied.

By the time Jack had cleaned most of the stalls, they could see Ally and Peter walking their horses back from their ride. The two seemed very relaxed and were laughing and talking as they entered the corral.

"Hi, kids!" Pete shouted to them.

"Hey there," Jack replied. "How was your ride?"

"It was gorgeous! Ally took us down to the old pond behind those trees; you been there, bud?"

"Of course I have, dumbass, I lived here, remember? I think I got laid for the first time down there." Jack smiled at the memory. "Hey, Ally, remember the time we went down there with some of my friends and just drank ourselves into oblivion?"

"Ah, the good old days," she said rolling her eyes. The lecture she'd gotten from her aunt and uncle about responsibility had left a stronger impression.

"Seems to me you brought me there to play spin the bottle with your pals 'cause one of them made a bet with you that he'd kiss me."

"Ha! That's right! Steve I think it was. Man, that was a lifetime ago. Any bottles down there today, Ally? Hmmm," he said while wiggling his eyebrows.

"God, Jack!" She felt a blush creeping up her neck as she peeked over at Peter's smiling face.

"Well, if that's not a guilty smile I don't know what is," Jack said.

"For your information there were NO bottles where we were!" Ally defended, hoping to clean the grimace off of Sydney's face.

When she couldn't handle the frustration anymore Sydney made excuses to leave and walked towards the tool shed. Ally eyed her closely to see if she was angry. She couldn't quite pinpoint the emotion tugging on Sydney's face.

Is she jealous? The thought of Sydney jealous over Peter made her smile inwardly. This boy doesn't hold a candle to you, my blue-eyed Aussie. She looked up at Jack and Peter who were still talking about Jack's good ol' days at the pond. She rolled her eyes at them and they seemed to realize that this should be discussed in different company.

"Men," she said in borderline disgust. "Don't you think about anything else?"

The two guys just looked at each other and smiled at Ally. Ally sighed.

"Hey, Jack, we should probably check our email to see what's going on in Phoenix."

"Good idea."

"See you later, boys. Don't work too hard."

"Thanks for the lesson, I had a wonderful time. Perhaps we can do that again before I leave." Pete smiled at her.

"Sure, anytime."

Pete leaned over and kissed her cheek. She smiled shyly and turned to go find Sydney when her eyes locked with the raven-haired woman's. Ally smiled at her. When she got no response she approached her tall friend.

"Hey," Ally said.

"Hey, yourself," Sydney returned.

"Is something bothering you?"

"No, not at all? Is Romeo staying for dinner?" She asked sarcastically.

"Romeo? You don't mean Peter? Sydney, my God, are you jealous?"

"And what if I am?" Sydney answered testily.

"Then I believe you need to rethink our relationship. I thought you said you couldn't have this yet. Which means that I'm free to do as I please."

"Well, if you like that sort of thing, by all means, have at it," Sydney said bitterly, heading back into the shed in a huff.

Sydney couldn't help being cross with Ally. She wasn't going through that heartbreak again. She threw down the pitchfork she was holding and her mind screamed out. I will not feel that pain again! I won't allow that to happen! I can't. Sydney cursed her heart for feeling again and silently she cursed herself for letting it. She bent over to pick up the pitchfork and felt an agonizing pain in her ribs.

Ally followed Sydney not wanting to have their conversation end the way it had. When she walked in the shed, Sydney was holding her side in pain.

"Syd? What is it? You look like someone stabbed you or something."

"I jabbed my ribs earlier when I was fixing the front gate. I must have bruised them. I guess shoveling out the stalls wasn't the smartest of chores to do today," Sydney panted.

"Let me see," Ally said tugging on Sydney's shirt.

"Oh sure, now you want to see me naked."

"I'm serious! Come on, lift up your shirt," she commanded gently.

Ally let out a startled gasp. "Oh, my God, Sydney! We should have you looked at."

"You're looking at it right now."

Ally gently touched the bruised area and felt Sydney flinch. She watched the muscles contract down Sydney's strong abdomen.

"I'm sorry. Did that hurt?"

"No, it didn't, you tickled me. Come on, doc, just kiss it and make it better. It's not that bad," Sydney joked.

Not wanting to disappoint her patient, Ally thought she would see how far she could take this. She gently touched the area again and felt her body moving closer to Sydney's. She closed her eyes and kissed the bruise under Sydney's ribcage. Sydney's eyes widened with surprise as a tingling sensation ran through her body.

"Oh, Alicia, please stop. You don't know what you're doing to me." Sydney's voice trembled along with her breathing.

Ally kissed her again and let her tongue slowly circle the injured area. She wanted to devour every inch of this incredible woman. She needed her badly. Her heart was screaming inside, beating fast and full. She felt Sydney's body reacting to the stimulation.

"Oh... please... Alicia... please..." Sydney choked out. Ally, not hearing her pleas, wandered with her kisses and started blazing a trail over her stomach. Sydney grabbed Ally's head and pulled her into a heated, passionate kiss. Ally felt her soul grasping at her other half. Their tongues entwined in a powerful dance of desire. Unquenchable passion was surging through them when Sydney's defenses came back to haunt her again.

Sydney pulled away holding Ally's head in her hands. "I... I can't do this. I'm sorry," she whispered her name as the tears raced down her face. She smoothed her shirt back down and ran out of the shed, leaving Ally alone, shaking her head wondering what had just happened.


Chapter Thirteen

Ally found Jack and Pete in the family room talking. They noticed her entrance and smiled.

"Well, Squirt, it looks like we have to fly out tonight. There seems to be a mix-up in the contracts that we have to clear up. So, unfortunately, our visit will be cut short," Jack said sadly.

"Oh no. I'm so sorry that you have to leave. What time is your flight?"

"We gotta head out to the airport in an hour or so. I'll be back in a couple weeks though, I promise. Mom would have my head if I didn't come and spend some time with her as well. I know she was getting pretty lonely out here, but when Sydney came along, I think she really came out of her funk. I'm so glad that you'll be here for her, too. I know she was really excited that you took her up on her offer."

"You know, after mom and dad died, I didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground. When your mom talked to me at their funeral and let me know where my home could be, I knew I had someplace special to go. I wouldn't leave here now for anything. Although, it would be nice to actually spend time with her now that I am here."

"When is she getting back?" Jack asked.

"She said in a week or so, so I won't be alone long, don't worry."

"I'm not worried Ally, you have Syd here and you seem to like her so..."

"Yeah, I do, she's very nice. I like her a lot. I'm glad Eddi found her," she wondered where Sydney had run off to.

"All right you, Pete and I have some stuff we have to take care of before we go, so if you'll excuse us, we have to become boring again," he said ruffling her hair.

"All right, did you guys happen to see Syd? I thought she came in here." She tried to be nonchalant with her question.

"Umm... I think I saw her go upstairs a little while ago," Pete chimed in.

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you before you head out."

********

Ally walked up the stairs and headed towards her room. She noticed Sydney's door closed and decided to keep walking. She just didn't get it.

Why would she come on to me like that if she didn't feel something? I will not play these games any more; it's just too damn confusing. Next time, if there is a next time, I'll wait for her to make the first move.

She cleaned up the clothes that were on the floor and made her bed. She tried to keep herself busy so she wouldn't think about Sydney in the next room. Thoughts flooded to her mind from that afternoon…the softness of the kiss they shared…the power in the lips kissing her…the desire that was building in her was overwhelming. She shook her head to clear those thoughts. Well, at least she tried to.

Ally decided that there was no more cleaning that could be done at the moment and wandered over to Sydney's room. She hesitated, then knocked on the door.

"Syd?" She waited patiently for a reply.

Nothing.

She knocked again and slowly opened the door. She looked in to find Sydney asleep with the same panda tucked under her arms. The sight made Ally's heart swell, but she knew this time to keep her distance. She quietly turned around and closed her door. I'm still mad at you Sydney. I may have pushed a little too much today, but I don't think I deserved that.

Ally walked down the stairs to see if Jack and Pete needed a ride to the airport.

"That's ok, I called a cab. They should be here any minute."

Pete walked up held out his hand to Ally. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Ally. I hope to see you again soon."

"Thanks, Pete, I hope so too. Maybe we can get to that second lesson the next time you come up." She reached up and hugged Peter's neck and he kissed her cheek as she pulled away. "Such the gentleman." Ally smiled.

"Who? Him? I think we need to talk," Jack said as Pete elbowed him in the gut. The cab driver announced his arrival with a honk.

"You're ruining my rep with your cousin here, man!" Pete joked.

"Don't worry, your reputation will be left unscathed, I promise," she reassured her departing guest. "Call me when you get to Phoenix, so I know you made it safe and sound, okay?"

"I promise," Jack said. He leaned down and hugged Ally.

"Bye!" Ally shouted as the car drove away. She waved her last good-bye and closed the front door.

It was close to dinnertime and Sydney still hadn't come down. "I guess I'll take a look at the horses to make sure they're fed and watered."

She walked outside and took to her chores without hesitation. It looked like there might be a storm later that night, so she made sure everyone was inside for the night. It was kind of nice taking care of Matty and Polka again. It reminded her of childhood summers with her family. Her aunt and uncle had taught her how to care for the horses and she loved every minute she had with them, especially Polka.

Ally's stomach reminded her that she still needed to eat dinner. She double checked the windows and doors in case of a storm and returned to the house. I'm sure Sydney's awake by now. I'll see what she wants to do for dinner.

She walked into the house to find it still quiet. She checked the family room and Sydney was nowhere to be found. She poked her head into the kitchen and noticed that nothing had been moved in there either. That could only mean that Sydney was still asleep.

"I guess I'll see if she wants dinner at all," she said as she walked up the stairs. When she reached the top of the landing, she heard the shower running.

"Well, at least she's awake now. I'll just wait for her to come out and see if she wants to eat. That's if she even wants to see me. Hell, I should be the one who's angry. She walked away again, and here I am. God, I must be stupid…or whipped, one of the two," she spoke softly. My money is on the latter, her mind chimed in. "Thanks a lot, you're a big help." She walked into her room, turned on her CD Player, and waited for Sydney to return from her shower.

********

Sydney awoke from her nap more refreshed than she expected. She was grateful that her ribs were hurting much less than before. Her mind wandered back to the tool shed where she had experienced the most incredible feelings she had ever felt. Her body ached for that contact again. She could feel the moisture building between her legs. Her eyes welled with tears as she felt the longing to love Ally the way she wanted to be loved. Something kept her at a distance and she couldn't stop it. She knew her other half was right outside at the moment, but fear of hurt, rejection, and commitment stopped her from finding her. She wiped the tears from her eyes and cursed the throbbing in her core. Her body knew what she needed, but she was too stubborn to accept it.

"There's more than one way to skin a cat," she decided as she headed off to the shower.

The water beat down on her body as she let her emotions leave one by one. The tears returned and she welcomed the cleansing. Maybe this way, she would clear herself of whatever it was that was keeping her from her destiny. The tears slowed and she became more aware of her desire for Ally. Their kiss that afternoon had been incredible. The feel of the younger woman's lips and tongue on her torso was orgasmic. The loss that she had been feeling without her touch was continual. As she reminisced about their afternoon encounter, she found her hand roaming down her soapy body to fulfill a need that was overwhelming. Small, slow circles turned into fast, hard exploration. She braced her body against the wall of the shower as she released her frustration and longing in a matter of moments. Her thoughts of Ally were never ending-it was Ally she wanted to feel loving her body. As her breathing returned to normal, she rinsed her sudsy hair and washed the soapy water down the drain.

She stepped out of the shower to hear the faint sound of music. She felt her heart rate increase knowing that Ally was only a room away. God, I wonder if she heard me. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. If she knows, she knows. She looked at her reflection through the steam on the mirror. "You can do this, Sydney. You know this is right. Just let it go. Be happy for once in your life. She's not Sharon, you know that," she reprimanded herself. She continued to dry off and geared up for another encounter with Ally. Living under the same roof made it inevitable.

********

Ally heard the shower go off and a smile crept to the corners of her mouth. She knew that Sydney would have to talk to her and maybe after her shower, she would like to chat about it over dinner. This time, no physical contact.

The bathroom door opened and Sydney stepped out in her robe, her long wet hair dangling off to one side. Ally walked out into the hall and gasped at the sight in front of her. My God, she's beautiful, was all she could think.

"Hello, Alicia," the tall woman managed to get out.

"Hey there. Um, I know you probably don't want to see me right now, but I was wondering if you wanted to do anything for dinner. I mean it's no big deal, but if you wanted, I could cook something, or we could order something out," Ally rambled through her nervousness.

"Well, actually I am kind of hungry," Sydney replied nervously. "But I do have to go out and tend to my duties, since I kind of abandoned my job this afternoon."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I took care of it for you," Ally said proudly.

"You did?" Sydney said almost in a whisper. She couldn't believe the woman in front of her. I'm a fool, she decided in her mind. "Thank you, Alicia. That was very nice of you. And very unexpected. You didn't have to do that."

"I know, I just figured, well... It was kind of my fault what happened today and I do feel kinda bad for what I did." Ally told her.

Now she's apologizing for what I did! Sydney's eyebrows rose into her forehead as she listened to Ally take the blame from her.

"Wait a minute, Alicia. What happened today was NOT your fault. Know that right now," Sydney said, regaining her composure.

"Sydn..." Ally tried to get a word in, as usual.

"No! I shouldn't have responded the way I did. Ok, maybe you coaxed me a little, but I shouldn't have run out on you again. It was very childish of me and I'm sorry." The words came out faster than she could stop them.

"It's understandable. I know your position on this and I pushed, so for that, I, too, am sorry." Ally's gaze was gentle.

That said, dinner plans were still up in the air. Sydney told Ally to wait for her in the family room. She would get dressed and come down shortly. Sydney closed the door to her room and leaned against the door, exhaling with a sigh.

"She's too much. I have to do something before I lose this one for good. Take a deep breath, you'll be just fine," she coached herself.

She grabbed a pair of jeans and a baby blue polo shirt. Her eyes looked in her mirror and she decided that tonight she would need to make the biggest decision of her life. That scared the shit out of her, but it was now or never. She knew Ally wouldn't wait forever. She took a deep breath, and made her way to the family room.


Chapter Fourteen

Ally waited patiently on the sofa for Sydney to return. She was nervously chewing the inside of her cheek. She didn't know what to expect from this woman. On one hand she's incredibly beautiful, sexy, and an amazing kisser who oozes sensuality. On the other hand, she is surely the most frustrating woman that I've ever met. I don't think that I've ever felt as sexually crazed as I've been in the last two days.

Shaking her head clear of her thoughts, she noticed that Sydney smiling at her as she entered the family room.

"Hey there," Sydney greeted her.

"Hey, yourself."

"Have you decided anything for dinner? Or did you want some input?" Sydney queried.

"Well, I really was waiting for you, before I made a final decision."

"I had a thought. Are you game enough to trust me?" the dark-haired woman asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, given our track record, I 'm not sure I feel comfortable answering that question," Ally quipped, her words a bit more brittle than planned.

"Alicia, I know that I've given you no reason to trust me in any way, but I truly think that you'll enjoy my idea," Sydney pleaded, her blue eyes sincere.

"And if I don't?" the blonde woman prompted.

"Then you can tar and feather me if you like," Sydney replied with no small amount of sarcasm.

"Well, how can I pass up an offer like that?" Ally's green eyes twinkled.

"Good, give me a few minutes to prepare something and I'll meet you in the stable," the tall woman said.

"In the stable? It looks like its going to storm," Ally protested.

"All the better. I'll show you what living in the country is all about, my little city mouse."

"Your little city mouse? Hmm, 'my little country mouse,' are we getting a little possessive?"

"Well, let's just say that I've gotten used to having you around." She nudged Ally as she walked into the kitchen.

"All right, I'll meet you there, but if I hate whatever you have planned, don't think that I won't keep you to your word."

"Ha! I don't doubt that!" Sydney yelled from the kitchen.

Ally turned and went outside to meet Sydney at the stable. "I don't like this one bit. Just look at this sky; we are going to get soaked. She'd better not be jerking me around this time. I swear to everything holy that I'll kick her square…in…" Ally paused to gasp in surprise at Sydney's arrival.

Sydney was carrying a large picnic basket and a blanket in her arms.

"Are you game? I thought it would be nice to ride out to that pond that has everyone 'oohing' and 'ahing' and have our dinner out there. What do you think?"

"I think we're going to get drenched." She crossed her arms and started tapping her foot.

"Oh darlin', I've seen you eat. We won't be out there long enough for the rain to even think about hitting us. Come on, it'll be fun. We can take Matty and Polka. If it does rain, there's plenty of canopy out there under those trees. Will you have dinner with me, Alicia?" she asked flashing her best puppy dog baby blues.

"Oh my God, you are so not fair. Let's go Miss I-Can-Get-Anything-I-Want-With-Just-A-Bat-Of-My-Eyelashes," Ally said, taking the basket. Sydney laughed heartily and walked towards the stalls. It was music to Ally's ears.

Sydney climbed on Matty and took the basket from Ally. She in turn gave the blanket to Ally and then coaxed the horses out toward the field. The ride was quiet as both women contemplated conversation. They both wanted to share their feelings, but were unsure where that would lead. Settling for a quiet ride seemed to work best for them.

Ally led Sydney to the pond and Sydney couldn't believe that she'd never made it down there before.

"It's absolutely beautiful out here. I can't believe I'd never found this place. I could have filled so many nights here. You can really lose yourself looking at this landscape. I can see why you liked to spend time here," Sydney said in awe.

"Mmm, I know. I spent a lot of my summer nights here. I'd just sit at the edge of the water and think. I'd write sometimes or just veg out. I love it here. Over there, by that large rock, is where the infamous game of spin the bottle happened."

Sydney smiled and wondered what Ally had been like when as a teenager.

"I bet you had a ton of boyfriends when you were in high school, no?" Sydney asked the blond woman.

"Actually, no. I was kind of a loner in high school," Ally admitted. "A geek for lack of a better word. I had a few close friends and one very best friend, Tracy, but I pretty much kept to myself. I'd cut loose when I came out here though. I guess I felt much more comfortable here than with the people in my school. People are really hard in Chicago. They aren't the nicest of people. It's really hard to admit that too, since I've lived there pretty much my whole life. I mean I think city people are hard-hearted. I just see such a difference in people out here. They're much more willing to help out others, and that kind of thing. God, I'm rambling, I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Oh please don't apologize. I love listening to you talk. I bet you tell a great story. You have such a cute accent," Sydney grinned.

"I have an accent? You're the one from 'down unda'!" she kidded.

"Yeah, well, to me you have as much of an accent as I have to you."

"I guess that's true. This is great, Syd. You were right. Coming out for a picnic was a good idea. Thank you."

"It's the least I can do. I feel really bad about this afternoon. I shouldn't have left you like that. I'm sorry."

"Let's just start over and enjoy what we have now, okay?"

"All right. Let's eat. I didn't really have too much to work with, so I put some sandwiches together and a salad. I thought the wine would be a nice touch, as well."

"You thought right. This is really great."

"I'm glad you like it."

The two ate in comfortable silence, occasionally looking into each other's eyes and smiling. Sydney's mind was racing; time was running out as the sky turned darker with the storm's approach. They ate on the blanket-covered ground and then lay back watching the cloud movement with wineglasses in hand.

"Do you ever wonder what comes after life Syd? I mean, what do you think happens to us after we die?"

"I think about it every once in awhile, actually," Sydney admitted. " If there wasn't life after death, don't you think that this would all be a waste? I really believe that in living this life, we learn, our souls learn that is. We take all of that knowledge with us through our lives. After we die, our soul takes on another form and we start a new life, but with the same soul. Have you ever heard of people referring to others as being an old soul?"

"Yeah, I have. Is that what they mean? Someone that has had a few lives with the same soul?"

"Well, I personally think that's what they mean. I mean there is such a huge world out here. We couldn't possibly cover it all in one lifetime. I think we are given a chance to explore it all, but not necessarily in the same physical form. Now, don't laugh at me, 'cause I really believe this..."

"Okay, I promise not to laugh," Ally said, smiling.

"I think that in a past life, you and I may have been lovers," Sydney told her.

"What?" Ally's green eyes were round and wide.

"I mean it, Alicia." Sydney's tone was serious. "I've only known you a few days. But I also feel closer to you than I have anyone in my life, well outside of my family. I don't understand it, but I don't want to fight it anymore either. Alicia, after my childish tantrum this afternoon, I finally decided to stop being immature about my feelings. I need to look at the person who is willing to give me her heart, and know that she won't take mine and break it. That person is you, Alicia; I want to give you my heart. I know I have no right to ask that of you, but I want you to have it, that is, if you still want it." Sydney's eyes never left Ally's and she hoped Ally would see the heartfelt truth there.

Ally's mouth went dry; she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her heart wanted to believe what Sydney was saying, but her mind kept thinking it was too good to be true. She downed the last of the wine, dropped her glass in the basket, and turned to leave. She ran to Polka and mounted her ride back to the stable. With a last look at Sydney's dumbfounded face, she urged Polka back to the house. Sydney grabbed the picnic items, jumped onto Matty, and chased after her heart. She chased Ally back to the stables and saw her head toward the house. She led Matty into the stable and ran after Ally. Ally turned around when she heard the urgent footsteps behind her. She saw Sydney running toward her and decided to face her fears once and for all.

"I really want to believe you, Sydney, but I just can't play these games," Ally said, her voice strident. "I have tried twice, unsuccessfully I might add, to show you I could love you, but you ran. Who's to say that you won't do that to me again? I have way too much going on in my life right now. I can't handle any more heartache. I'm sorry, I can't set myself up for that again," she said as the tears started to well in her eyes. She turned to walk away as the rain started to fall.

Sydney reached out in desperation to stop Ally from walking away from her. She caught Ally's arm. Ally turned around and fell to her knees.

"Baby, please..."

Crying, she pleaded, "Dammit, Sydney, please, just let me go."

"I can't do that," Sydney said. She pulled herself closer to Ally and held her face in her hands. She wiped away the raindrops that were falling against the young woman's cheeks as she leaned forward to meet the lips she so desperately wanted to feel again.

Ally's mind was racing with confusion. Her body, feeling the heat that was building inside, released a moan as the contact deepened. Sydney gently sucked on Ally's bottom lip and felt soft hands stroking her face. Ally was crying, but her tears were filled with an extreme happiness that consumed her entire being.

The kiss was very tender, as their exploring tongues tasted every ounce they were willing to share. Unwilling to break the contact, Sydney gently lay Ally down on the wet grass and continued their passionate baptism. The rain started coming down harder, but Sydney and Ally were oblivious to it all. Sydney moved her kisses down Ally's neck and shoulder. Nipping and biting as she made her way down her soon-to-be lover's body, Sydney heard Ally's sounds of desire.

"What do you want? Tell me…" she purred into Ally's ear causing a shockwave of electricity to shoot between her legs.

"You…I want you, please. I need you to touch me, feel me, taste me; I have to have you inside of me. I want everything."

"You'll have all of that, I promise you," she swore.


Chapter Fifteen



The two women lay on the wet ground ignoring the weather and relishing the feel of the other's body. Slowly Sydney raised Ally's shirt over her head and gently removed her bra. She knelt in front of Ally and pulled off her own shirt to reveal herself to her new lover. Ally watched in awe as Sydney continued to prove once again that she was absolutely beautiful in every way.

Their bodies moved slowly with the rhythm of their breathing. Sydney kneaded the round, fullness of Ally's breasts, gently rubbing her thumbs over the nipples. Ally's back arched in response. Sydney lowered her head to capture one of the nipples in her mouth. Slowly circling Ally's nipple with her tongue, Sydney made sure that Ally knew the depths of her desires. Sydney brought Ally's breast almost completely into her mouth and felt Ally's hand pulling her head closer.

"You feel unbelievable." Ally hissed rocking her head slowly from side to side.

The rain continued to fall on their almost naked forms, as the rest of their clothing was tossed to the side. Ally grabbed Sydney's behind and slowly massaged the muscles moving above her. Sydney's body was grinding into Ally's center and Ally found the passion that was building almost blinding.

The feel of Ally's naked skin against hers was the most amazing thing Sydney had ever experienced. Ally's body responded to her every touch, every kiss, every breath exhaled against it. She wanted Ally more than she wanted anything in her life before. She gently moved her hand down to Ally's lower abdomen and kissed the skin beneath her fingers. Ally and Sydney locked eyes knowing the act that was about to play out.

Sydney adjusted her body between Ally's legs and took a deep breath. She inhaled the sensual scent coming from Ally and wanted nothing more than to lose herself there. Ally grabbed handfuls of grass as Sydney's tongue gently touched her clitoris. A surge of desire poured out of her and into Sydney with one touch of Sydney's tongue.

" God, you taste incredible," she whispered to Ally, looking briefly into the electric stare of her partner.

Sydney moved her tongue in small gentle circles against the tender flesh beneath her. She held onto Ally's hips as she felt them begin to undulate against her mouth. Her mission was clear now. She wanted Ally to become nothing less than a weak, breathless, beautifully satisfied woman.

Ally couldn't keep her eyes open long enough to catch more than small glimpses of the woman bringing her to ecstasy. Her body was alive with every stroke of Sydney's tongue. Her thoughts went numb as the pressure building inside of her became almost too much to bear.

Sydney's tongue moved faster as she sensed the imminence of Ally's orgasm. She braced herself against Ally's body, feeling the beginning of Ally's release.

"Oh…my... God... Sydney... yes!" Ally moaned.

Thrusting her hips faster and faster, Ally's body fell slave to the intense touch of her lover. With the release, Ally felt a wholeness she had never known before.

Sydney rode wave after wave of unbidden passion and desire. Ally's body slowly recovered from the climax and her breathing once again became normal. Sydney climbed up the spent form of Ally and gently lay on top of her with both elbows resting on either side of Ally's head. Looking up into loving blue eyes, Ally spoke to her in almost a whisper.

"Oh, my God. That was incredible. I never knew I could feel this way."

"I'm glad that I could make you feel like that. I hope that you'll give me an opportunity to do it often," she said as she caressed one side of Ally's face.

"Do you see me trying stop you? Not gonna happen," Ally smiled and kissed Sydney tenderly on her lips.

The rain was still pouring down on them, and Sydney noticed a shiver run through Ally's body.

"It's time we went in an got you into a hot shower before you catch your death out here."

"Only if you join me," she said, causing an eyebrow to rise on Sydney's face.

"How can I refuse such an offer?"

"You can't, it's not an offer; it's a demand. I will not take no for an answer either, missy." Sydney laughed at Ally's mischievous expression sure that this night was only the beginning.

With Jack, Pete, and Edna away, the two reveled in the privacy they were given to explore their newfound love. They collected their clothing from the piles strewn on the lawn and made a quick run into the house. The brisk air from the air conditioning made their skin crawl with goose bumps.

"Damn, it's cold in here. I'll race you to the shower," Sydney taunted.

"Well, I don't know," Ally started to whine playfully. "Your legs are so much longer than..." Ally stopped and raced up the stairs knowing full well that retribution would be in order for her cheating.

"You're so dead, do you hear me, Alicia? You're mine," she yelled, reaching the top of the steps. She looked around the bathroom only to have Ally jump from behind her.

"Yah!" Ally surprised.

"Ahhh!" Sydney screamed.

"Gotcha!" Ally smiled in victory.

"That's what you think. I'll show you who's got who," she said, picking up Ally and throwing her into the shower. Ally mockingly put up a fight kicking and screaming, and laughing in-between limited gasps of air. Sydney turned on the water and watched Ally's eyes grow huge as the cold water began to warm.

"Come here, my little Aussie. I'd like to show you something," Ally said, wiggling her eyebrows at Sydney.

"Coming, my dear," she smiled, entering the shower and drawing the curtain closed.

Ally wasted no time; she grabbed Sydney's head and pulled her into a deep passionate kiss. The water cascaded down against both very aroused women. Ally broke the kiss and whispered into Sydney's ear.

"Show me what to do. I've never done this before."

"All right, baby, we'll make this a lesson you'll remember for a long time," she purred back into Ally's ear, causing a new outbreak of gooseflesh down her body.

Sydney reached up and took one of Ally's hands and placed it on one of her breasts. She held onto Ally's hand as they tenderly rubbed against the nipple with both their fingers. Sydney's body reacted to the stimuli of their shared movements. She exhaled deeply as the desire built between her legs once again. Ally's movements became more confident-she rolled the nipple with her thumb and forefinger. Sydney welcomed the feeling and let out a small moan.

Ally then took Sydney's full breast into her mouth. Her tongue circled over the nipple causing Sydney's breath to become more and more ragged.

"Yeah, I think you've got it, oooh right there. God, that feels good," Sydney gasped.

"Mmm. I like this," Ally purred.

Ally took her newfound courage and gradually moved her hand between Sydney's legs. The wetness she found increased her desire to explore this woman pressed against her. The water was beating down on Ally's head almost leading her to take the next step. She slowly moved her fingers around until she found a very sensitive spot on Sydney.

Sydney's body shuddered as she felt the touch of her neophyte lover. Ally pushed Sydney against the wall and increased the speed of her movements. Under the spray of the showerhead, Sydney began to quiver and her release started to build inside of her.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me."

"Oh, yes I do, sweetie, yes I do." She smiled inwardly knowing that she was the cause of her lover's shivering.

"You are very good at this."

"Yeah, well, I'm self-taught if you know what I mean."

Sydney smiled, thinking back to a few hours earlier in this same shower.

Ally quickened her movements as Sydney's breath became labored and her body stiffened with excitement. Sydney's tender flesh was swollen and slippery with arousal. Ally couldn't believe that she was making love to woman, let alone a woman like Sydney. Her body was completely on fire with every sound that Sydney made. The sultry, deep voice humming into her ear was music Pachelbel himself would have been proud of. Sydney reached down to touch Ally's passion, when she felt herself go over the edge.

"Oh, Alicia! My God... that's it... Oh... There... Yes!" Sydney cried as the orgasm cut through her core.

Ally pressed Sydney harder against the wall as she felt herself crest once again in synch with her lover. Their legs slowly gave out and they melted down the shower wall and into to the base of the tub. Sydney wrapped her arms around the smaller woman as the spasms began to ebb. As their breathing reached a normal pace, they tightened their grip on one other. The sound of their heartbeats under the running water was all that could be heard.

"That was beautiful," Sydney sighed. "I've never experienced such an overwhelming moment in my life. I can't believe that I was willing to throw all of this away because of my fears. Can you forgive me for being such a child?"

"You don't have to apologize," Ally soothed. "This is all the proof that I need to know you're for real. Just don't get up and run this time." She pressed Sydney closer.

"I promise, I'll never leave you again," Sydney said, pledging her loyalty with a kiss.

The next few days were spent getting to know each other in-between their marathon lovemaking sessions. They talked and laughed about their lives and people in their past. They took many walks and rode tandem on Polka to ensure snuggle time. Their nights were filled with passion. Sydney was teaching Ally everything she wanted to know and more about what makes a woman ache for more. Ally showed Sydney a few things, too. Their hearts had found their home and weren't moving anytime soon.

********

Edna walked in the door after spending five days with dirty old farmers and ranch owners. She was relieved to be home. She was even more relieved when she let her eyes roam over the two sleeping forms cuddled up on the couch. Ally had her body nestled against Sydney's longer frame and rested her head against her strong shoulder. Sydney's arms were wrapped around her young lover.

Edna quietly crept up the stairs and placed her luggage in her room. She passed Sydney's room and noticed it was immaculate and her bed was neatly made. She scratched her head as she walked over to Ally's room. Her lips turned upwards into a large grin. The sheets on the bed were strewn all over the place. Two sizes of clothing were in various places around the room, leaving a trail back to the bed. She knew that her niece would be well loved and taken care of.

She picked up the picture from the Grand Canyon and smiled as she looked toward the sky. "She's going to be just fine, Donna, I promise. She has someone to watch over her now, while you look down from up there. She misses you, but don't you worry. Between Syd and me, she's going to be loved and cared for until the day she leaves this place. And when that day comes, she'll have you, with your arms wide open for her to be cradled in once more. She's gonna be just fine," she repeated, with tear-filled eyes as she held the photograph close to her heart.

Edna placed the picture back on the windowsill and turned around to head back downstairs. With dinner approaching, she needed to get into the kitchen. From the looks of things, she was going to have a couple of starving women on her hands. And that was just fine with her.


Chapter Sixteen

"You're in such trouble when I catch you, Alicia." Sydney growled. "Yeah, well, you have to catch me first," Ally teased and ran toward the house.

Sydney had been doing her best to wash down the horses with a large hose. Ally had slowly approached her friend without being noticed. Initially her intent had been to scare her lover, but once she saw the unattended hose, she lost all sense of control.

After dousing Sydney unmercifully, Ally had run to the main house to seek asylum with Eddi. She found her aunt asleep in her rocking chair in the family room.

"Damn! Now where can I hide?"

"Oh, no you don't," Sydney growled. "You aren't getting away this time, little missy."

"Now, Sydney, you know I was only fooling around," Ally croaked, holding her hands out in front of her. She laughed nervously, finding herself backing away from a drenched and mildly agitated woman.

"Fooling around, eh? Just what does 'fooling around' entail?" Sydney mocked menacingly. "You sneaking up on me, you grabbing a hose, soaking my skin, and then laughing and running inside to look for cover?"

Ally swallowed hard, having no idea what her Aussie lover was planning as revenge. "Umm, yes?" She winced.

Ally found herself being backed into the entertainment unit while Sydney drew nearer with every tick of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. Sydney's breath tickled Ally's ear as she bent down to offer a warning.

"Paybacks are truly a bitch, my dear. And believe me when I tell you, I always get my revenge."

Ally realized she was short of breath and completely at a loss for words, a very rare event for her. She looked into the most challenging blue eyes she had ever seen, and knew she was no match for the tall raven-haired woman staring down at her. She just had to wait until her time came. It was exhilarating to her senses. Sydney, she had discovered, was a very creative person. I wonder if everything she does is as imaginative as the things she does in bed. Ally's thoughts sent shudders throughout her body, and her movements were not lost on Sydney.

"What's the matter, Alicia? Cat got your tongue? Hmm?" The taller woman smiled, and then gracefully exited the room, leaving a slack-jawed Ally slumping against the entertainment center.

"My God, what that woman does to me. Christ." She wiped her brow and made her way to the bathroom to wash her face and calm her nerves.

******

A couple of months had passed since the two women had met. Ally's aunt had graciously opened her home and her arms to her niece. Living alone in Chicago with the emptiness that evolved around her had not been the life that Ally wanted. Her aunt's offer came as an answer to a silent prayer.

******

The funeral had gone as well as could be expected. Most of Ally's family had attended both the wake the previous night and the funeral procession the following day. Everyone had offered their condolences to Ally, not wishing to trade places with her for anything in the world. To lose both of her parents the way that she did, they half expected her to wither away herself. These people didn't know the strength inside the young woman. At that time, neither did Ally.

Her Aunt Edna had arrived a week before the traditional formalities had begun. She had arranged the burial for her sister, Donna, and her brother-in-law, Tom. She knew that Ally wouldn't know how to handle the arrangements by herself. In truth, she hadn't even known for sure what she should be doing. How often do you have to plan such an event? Hopefully, this was the last time she would have to do it. Burying her own husband had been hard enough, but now her sister had been taken away, along with her husband. It had felt very surreal to her. "It's not nearly as hard on me as it is on her," Eddi had murmured to herself, watching her niece hugging estranged family members.

Finally, the day was coming to an end, and most of the guests had left Ally's home. The after-gathering was nicely catered, and the mood had been as light as it was going to get on such a tragic day. Ally just wished away her migraine as she forced herself to meet the sorrowful stares she received for the duration of the day. Eddi walked up to her just when she thought she could handle nothing further.

"How are you, honey? Do you want to call it a day? I can take care of the clean up down here."

"No, I'll help. It's the least I can do. You planned everything while I did nothing."

"Nothing? Oh, honey, you had to finish up school and move back here for the summer. You had plenty to do yourself. These things have a way of timing themselves very badly. Not that there would ever be a good time for this." She trailed off and found herself embracing a sobbing, scared little girl.

"Oh, Eddi...what am I going to do now? I've lost almost everything in a blink of an eye." Ally sobbed into her aunt's shoulder.

"I know, sweetie, I know. We just need to take things day by day. It's all we can do. But we have to keep going. Your mom would want that for you. I know she would," she said, cradling Ally's shaking body. "You want some tea?"

"Yeah... I think it may help my head...it's just pounding."

"All right, kiddo, go sit down at the table, and I'll get us some. I gotta let out the last of our guests and I'll be back. We can talk if you want to. Or we can just stare, cry, scream, or whatever your li'l heart desires. Okay?" She kissed the top of Ally's head.

"I love you so much. Thanks for being here for me."

"Oh, sweetie, there's no other place I'd be right now. Now scoot, I'll be in there in a couple of minutes."

"All right. I'm gonna say goodnight to Tracey," Ally said.

Ally's best friend, Tracey Miller, came in from the front room and embraced Ally. "God, hon.', I'm so sorry. I wish there was more that I could do for you."

"Thanks, Trace, I know. I just can't believe it. You know, two weeks ago I was just talking with mom about summer plans and I how much I couldn't wait to see her when I got home." Ally pushed back a sob.

"I know, honey, I know..." Tracey kept Ally in her arms until the fair-haired woman pulled away. Tracey's soft brown eyes looked into sad green ones, her heart breaking for her childhood friend.

"I'll be all right. Eddi's with me, go on home. I'm just gonna go to bed. I have the worst friggin' headache."

"Well, that's not surprising. Take care of yourself, darlin'; I love you, you know."

"I love you, too. Thanks for being here for me."

"What are friends for?" she questioned, running her fingers through her mass of curly ash-blond hair.

"Well, you're the best friend in the world. Good night." Ally hugged her again, kissed her cheek, and watched as Tracey left.

She padded to the dining room table and sat down.

Ally's eyes roamed around the room she was in. Every shelf on the bookcase held at least one picture of her or her parents. She scanned down to the roll-top desk and found a gift she had made her mother when she was ten. It was a picture frame that had My Favorite Mom etched into it, with a picture of her and her mother in it. "Like I had more than one," she said to no one. "Now I don't even have one..." She stopped and put her head in her hands and let the tears fall unhindered. Edna came in with the promised beverages and sat down next to Ally. She stroked Ally's back as she watched her niece down the healing liquid.

"Honey, I want to ask you something, and you don't have to answer until you're ready, okay?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just want to ask you something."

"Go on."

"I want you to consider something for me," she said, taking one of Ally's hands in her own. "I'd really love it…if you came out to live with me…in Montana. I know it's far away from your friends and your school, but you make friends like bees make honey, and well, we got schools up in Montana, too."

Ally's face wrinkled up and she again began to cry.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I should've waited to ask you that later on, I'm so sorry."

Sniffling, Ally finally found her voice. "No. Don't be sorry. I'm just so thankful to have someone like you in my life. Thank you so much for that. Please let me think on it, though. I have so much here; it would be such a huge change for me. I just don't know if I'm ready for more change. Is that okay? Can I answer you another time? I just need some time to really think it over."

"Of course, sweetheart," Eddi told her, stroking Ally's hair gently. "Take all the time you need. I'm not leaving for at least a week, so please, just think it over, and let me know. I would hate to think of you in Chicago, by yourself. I mean, I know you have school and your friends, but this house, well, I know how many memories you have here. I just want you to be happy, honey."

"I know," Ally said, sliding into her aunt's hug. "And I love you for it. Thank you." "You're welcome, sweetie," Eddi hugged the slender form. "And I love you back."

********

Ally was awakened from her reverie by a questioning stare.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Yes, Alicia," Sydney repeated, watching her young lover closely. "I asked if you were okay. You looked like you were a million miles away."

"I was, actually, I'm okay though, and don't you worry."

"When it comes to you, I worry. Just reflex, get used to it." Sydney smiled and opened her arms.

"I was thinking about the funeral…sometimes I still can't believe this happened. I'm just thankful I had Eddi. I don't know what I would have done without her. She's been unbelievable," Ally met Sydney's loving glance.

Sydney looked down into saddened eyes. "She's an incredibly giving woman. She's been a warm healing blanket…for both of us," she finished softly.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Syd," Ally said, moving into Sydney's arms.

"I know, I'm going to count the hours while you're gone." Sydney returned the hug with enthusiasm.

Ally had made arrangements to meet with her family's lawyer to finalize the paperwork for her parents' estates. It was a trip Ally was not looking forward to, but knew was necessary.

"It's going to be so hard to go back there without them waiting for me at the airport." Ally sighed sadly. "Sometimes it feels like this is someone's else life, and I keep hoping I'm going to wake from this nightmare."

"I know, baby, I know. I'm so sorry you're hurting so much." Sydney rubbed circles on Ally's back, trying to console her saddened partner.

Ally buried herself in Sydney's strong embrace. She loved when her partner let her guard down and was just loving, nurturing, and warm. The last couple months had been wonderful. She had met someone that truly felt like the other half of her soul.

There was trepidation behind the azure blues of her lover, though. Sometimes she would find Sydney lost in thought, looking frightened, but when asked, the dark-haired woman always had some way of explaining it away. Ally would let her think she was off the hook, when actually it saddened her to know she wasn't trusted enough to be let in on her lover's secret.

Sydney doesn't trust anyone, she thought. She had friends that she'd talked about and would go out with from time to time, but the only one with Sydney's full trust was Eddi. Ally was almost jealous of their relationship. They would have long talks that sometimes went deep into the night. Ally had tried many a night to stay awake with them, but sleep usually found her halfway through. Time and time again, she found herself in Sydney's arms being carried up to their room to bed.

Ally knew from the beginning that it would be an uphill battle to gain the trust of Sydney Thompson. It was, however, a fight the young woman had no intention of losing. Just to give Sydney a compliment, and not have her read too much into it, was exhausting. She must've been hurt badly. I wish she'd talk about it; maybe it would help her. She's got to know I'd never do anything to hurt her, Ally mused, pulling out of Sydney's arms.
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