Love/Sex Warning: Sexual relationships between two women; bad language; violence

Part 2

Cynthia woke up to a knocking on her door. "Yeah?" she called sleepily.

"Don't you have class in an hour?" Kate called.

Cynthia glanced at her clock-9: 00 am. She was sure she set her alarm for 8am. "Yeah . . . aw, damn. Okay, thanks, K. You always wake me up."

"Well, I'm an early riser."

"You're an insanely early riser."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Cynthia got off the floor and walked over to the bed where Jill was still sleeping. "Jill," she said, "Jill, wake up." Jill was infamous for her "I'll rise, but I refuse to shine" attitude. Cynthia shook her friend gently. "Jill!"

"Ugh," Jill moaned. "No wake up."

"C'mon, we really only have thirty minutes to get ready, if we're going to get to school on time."

"We'll drive," Jill groused.

"You know that's not feasible. Parking is five bucks, and even if we could find a parking space, we'd probably have to walk at least fifteen minutes. Walking is the best way, so get your ass out of bed."

"No."

"Jillian Agnes Kline, get your ass out of bed before I pick you up and throw you in the shower fully clothed."

Jill's eyes shot open at the usage of her middle name. She sat up. "It was my great grandmother's name," she said defensively as she got up and walked into the bathroom.

Jill and Cynthia were out of the house in record time, and just barely made it to class before Professor Anderson started her lecture on the Cult of Isis in Pompeii.

"That was a pretty interesting lecture, huh?" Cynthia asked after lecture.

"Yeah, it was, actually. Professor Anderson is getting better. Remember when we thought she was just this doddering old goat?"

"Yeah, but she's really very thorough. Kate loves her, actually."

"Kate?"

"Yeah, Kate took this class last year."

"But this is an upper-division class. How'd she get to take it as a freshman?"

"She came in as a sophomore from her high school. Anyway, like I said, before your usual interruption, Kate always had an interest in this stuff, so she just took the course."

"Is that how she knew about Fiorelli last night?"

Cynthia shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm fairly sure it'd be something she would have known beforehand."

"Wow. So, she IS kind of an egghead."

"Heh. Yeah. She's a great kid, and a great roommate . . . so, Jill . . . what do you think you're going to do about Shannon?"

"I don't know. I mean, this is the beginning of the second quarter so I have quite a ways to go. I survived last quarter, so I guess I can do it for two more."

"Oh, come on, Jill. You know that's not right. I think you should move out. Right away. You can stay with me while you look for a new place."

"You're asking me without even clearing it with your roommate?"

Cynthia shrugged. "I doubt she'd mind, and it's not like we share a room, right? She stays in hers most of the time anyway, when she's home."

"But don't you think moving out is really mean? What's she going to do for rent?"

"That's not your concern anymore. You're scared of her."

"I am not!" Jill said indignantly.

Cynthia just looked at her.

"Okay, maybe just a little. But I still think moving out is a little extreme."

"It'd be extreme if you moved out because she uses up too much toilet paper. It's NOT extreme if you're afraid of a belligerent alcoholic druggie."

"Maybe I will move out and find a replacement for me."

"And subject someone else to her? She can find someone on her own. How about this? You live with me for a month, rent-free as long as you pay a little for the electricity and stuff like that. During that month, you pay the rent on your place and Shannon can find someone else to live with her."

"I just feel really mean doing this to her."

"You're going to be paying the fucking rent on a place you're not living in! She'll be happy! She'll get the place to herself. You are SO passive aggressive. You're always complaining about how she or someone else, for that matter, bothers you. But you never say anything! You don't do anything! Come on, ya old fart, do something about it."

"I know you're right, but-"

"All right. No more 'but'. You and I are going to go talk to her after we're done with classes today."

"No. I don't want to get you involved."

"I'm already involved. Come on, she needs to learn."

"Cynthia, I feel like you are taking excessive joy in plotting against her."

"I'm not. I just want to watch out for you, because you don't do it for yourself."

Jill took in a deep breath. "All right, you're right. When are you done with classes, Schadenfreude?"

"At 5pm. You?"

"Four."

"We'll go after I get out of my Philosophy class."

"How apropos. Okay. Thanks, Cyn."

"Yeah. Hey, do you want to sit over there?" Cynthia asked pointing to a grassy area shaded by trees. "We have an hour break before the Greek Myth class."

"Sure."

They sat in the grass smoking Marlboro Light Menthols, a habit they were both trying to quit and sipping Sobe. They talked about random topics, ranging from building methods used in Pompeii, the day's class schedule and Sobe's interesting bottles. Just then, Cynthia spotted Christian, a boy she had a crush on since their freshman year, when they both had lived in one of the off-campus dorms.

She sighed softly. "There's Chris," she said, pointing.

Jill grinned. "You've liked him for five years now, don't you think you should just ask him out?"

"No! If he were interested he would have asked me out. We're just friends."

"Hey CHRIS!" Jill yelled. Cynthia looked like a deer caught in the headlights when Chris turned his head and caught a glimpse of Cynthia.

He walked over to them.

"Cynthia! Hey! I haven't seen you in so long. We really should keep better track of each other, we've been friends for five years, after all."

Cynthia smiled at him. "It's good to see you. I've missed you. Remember how during first quarter of freshman year we used to see each other all the time?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah, and how be both would miss Anthropology lecture on the same days?"

Cynthia laughed. Chris reached down to give Cynthia a hug. They held each other for a few more moments than were necessary- as they always did. After they separated,

Cynthia gestured to Jill. "Chris, this is Jill. You remember her right?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah! Hey!"

Jill smiled. "Hi."

Jill had to smile as she observed Cynthia chatting with Chris about how the quarter was progressing, etc. They were cute together. It was obvious that they had a lot of affection between them. Jill thought that the hug they had shared was telling- neither of them seemed to want to let go, and the way Chris was looking at her friend . . .

Chris had to get to class, and as soon as he left, Cynthia sighed in pleasure. "He is so cute. He's so sweet and decent. Did you know he's Austrian?"

Jill chuckled. "Yeah, you told me about that at least a million times, remember?"

"He speaks German fluently," Cynthia continued.

"Cynthia, the boy obviously likes you, why don't you ask him out?"

"Why do you think he likes me?"

"Anyone who saw you two hugging would think you're boyfriend and girlfriend. I felt like I had disappeared. You guys acted like you never wanted to let the other go."

"You felt invisible? I'm sorry."

"Don't try to change the subject, babe. Go for it."

"Nah, I can't. He's too nice. Besides, I'm still involved with William."

Jill scowled. "That asshole? Forget him."

"Jill, I can't. I've been with him since I was eleven years old-"

"You two have the most twisted relationship ever. You guys never talk, but every once in a while you see him when you go home and then you screw."

"It's not like that-"

"The hell it isn't. You've been with him for eleven years, and I respect that. But even you have admitted that you guys aren't really involved. You guys just keep going back to each other because you can't let the other go. First loves are tough, I still think about Jeremy, you know. But it's not healthy the way you love William so much, and he just treats you like shit."

"I can't help that I love him."

"I know, honey. I know. But he doesn't treat you right. He's twenty-eight years old, almost twenty-nine and you're twenty-two. You're going places, and he's just a spoiled little brat. Try to forget about him. I'm not saying that you should go into a relationship, because now I think you might not be ready for one. I'm just saying that you need to cut him off from your life. When you go home, don't talk to him, don't accept his calls."

"He knows everything about me- no one could understand me the way he does."

"What am I? Chopped liver? I'm your best friend for Chrissakes, tell me!"

"You DO understand me, but there's this gap that you don't know about me . . ." 'and I'm so afraid you'd hate me if you knew,' Cynthia finished silently.

"I know you and Will can't ever really forget each other, but don't you think you deserve a good guy in your life? You've had a crush on Chris since our freshman year. This is the last year for all three of us, and I just want to see you happy."

"Chris is simply too nice for me."

"So? What, you think you deserve only the assholes?"

Cynthia's mouth parted slightly, but no words came out.

Jill reached over and squeezed Cynthia's shoulder. "I know you don't like to talk about what happened while you were in boarding school, and I respect that. I hope one day, you'll be ready to talk to me about it, after all we've been best friends since we were little kids, and despite the fact that we're in wholly different majors, and we have so many different interests, we've always been best friends. You deserve some happiness in your life, finally. And if this guy can give you that, I don't think you should try to sabotage that."

Cynthia sighed. "I know. I'm working on it."

"So, are you going to ask him out?

"I'll think about it."

"Cynthia, I want you to be happy. I know you take a whole lot of shit from your family, and a lot of your friends, and I know I pile it on you, too-"

"No, you don-"

"Shh. Just listen. You just take all of it, because something in here-" Jill said, tapping Cynthia on the temple, "makes you think that you deserve it. But you don't. You go home every time there's a crisis with your parents or with your brother and sister. You work your ass off because you don't want to be too much a financial drain. You call your mother every night so she can tell you what an ungrateful bitch you are, and don't deny it. I've known you too long."

Cynthia sighed. "I know, I know. But I think I do deserve it. I mean, some of the things that I've done-"

"That's in the past. I remember that period you went through, when there was so much anger and hostility and sadness, but it was always pointed inward. I didn't know how to reach you then, and I don't do a great job of it now, but we've always remained friends. Even when you've been distant. You're different now. But I love you for who you are, not what you've done or what you're doing or what you're going to do."

"The actions make up the person, Jill."

"You're a GOOD person, and I want you to start thinking of yourself that way."

"Sometimes I think I got a whole shitload of bad karma from a past life. It's why I hate to think such things exist, because it just shows what a shitty person I've always been in any incarnation."

"One of these days, I'm going to make you see that you are good. Jill, if it weren't for the fact that you're my het best friend, I'd be in love with you. You're so beautiful, and not just physically. You've got a great body, you've got gorgeous hair, and such a pretty face. You're intelligent- I'm never bored with you around. You challenge me to think, and no one really does that. You're nice to everyone. You deserve someone who's going to kind of protect you. Not like in a way to make you feel weak, just someone who will make you feel safe when you need to, someone will who tell you that 'everything is going to be all right.' Everyone needs to hear that sometimes, and you spend so much time telling that to others, trying to help them, trying to redeem yourself for something, that you're just killing yourself inside. You make yourself so unhappy, and there's no one in the world, that I'd wish happiness on more than you."

Cynthia sighed. "You're fucking awesome, Jillian Agnes Kline."

"And, you, Cynthia Jean Holbrook, are my best friend. You're the fucking awesome one."

"Jill, we'd better start walking to Greek Myth."

"All right, let's go."

When she was honest with herself, Cynthia understood that her relationship with William was a form of penance. Chris was the most decent man she'd ever met, although that wasn't really saying much. But Chris treated her with the utmost respect, and that was something she appreciated, even as she felt that she didn't really deserve it. A part of her, however, could not let go of William. He had been her first kiss and first sexual experience, and although their relationship could be beyond dysfunctional, she could never say goodbye to him. She could deal with not seeing him for extended periods of time, but she could not deal with his total absence from her life. 'I think I'll always love you, Will, even if we can no longer say it to each other. I think of you as I wake up in the morning, and then your image floats into my head before I go to sleep. You haunt me, and yet, most of the time, I think I hate you. I wish we could just say it to each other again, sometimes, I think it was better when we'd exchange those false proclamations of love, the empty promises. They were comforting in a way, because what are we now? We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, because you see other people, while I remain like a mummy until you dig me up when I come to you. We have sex, and yet, lover seems like such a nice term for what we do, and fuck buddy seems too harsh. We went through a period of time, when everything was good, remember? When we'd say what we mean, and mean what we say to each other. Sometimes, we became angry with one another, but that was a normal couple thing. We were happy, and now? Now, it's like, we're just too scared to let go of each other, and I can't stand being so afraid. You're no catch, Will, so why can't I just tell you to go away? But even though I don't like to admit it, I miss you. All our terrible arguments have left their ugly marks on my heart. I've always known that the things we've said and done to each other were because we couldn't tell each other how we felt.'

"Earth to Cynthia, you need to pick up the pace, space cadet."

The two friends walked on towards the Humanities Building. Although Cynthia had always teased Kate for being an egghead for liking Greek mythology so much, she had a passion for it. She often had long conversations with Kate about Comparative Mythology. One of the reasons she liked living with Kate is that she could have a conversation about almost any topic, the girl was interested in everything. Cynthia didn't have many friends she could discuss the Deucalion myth in relation to Noah and the Ark, so she highly valued her conversations with Kate.

Like Cynthia, Jill had always been interested in Greek mythology; in fact, she had an interest in stories in general. As a child, she'd read and wrote stories with equal vociferousness. In school, she realized she had a certain talent for numbers and science, but her first love was to read and write. Although a Biology major, she was also minoring in Comparative Literature.

The Classics 80 (Greek Mythology) professor was Dr. Julie Carlson, an effervescent woman who obviously loved her work. She held her office hours after lecture and both Cynthia and Jill decided to drop in after they got a bite to eat. They each had another hour long break before they had to head off to other classes.

When they arrived in Dr. Carlson's office hours, they were surprised to see an animated Kate talking and gesturing almost wildly. Julie Carlson who was prone to similar wild gestures in her lecturing looked on, listening with an amused but interested expression. Kate's back was turned to them, and she only turned around when Dr. Carlson motioned for them to come in.

Kate turned her head around.

"Hey!" She said. She turned back around, "Ju- Dr. Carlson, this is my roommate, Cynthia and her friend, Jill." Kate was on a first name basis with Dr. Carlson but chose to use the deferential title to show respect in front of Cynthia and Jill.

Julie smiled. "Hello girls."

Cynthia and Jill introduced themselves, and Kate stood up. "Well, ah. I guess I'll go, you know, clear up some space for people who are actually in your class."

"Hey, K. You don't have to go, stick around," Cynthia said.

"Nah, I should go. I actually have an English class in ten minutes, I was going to skip it."

"Katherine, go to class!" Dr. Carlson said.

"Yeah, you've inspired me." Kate grinned.

"Come by again, Kate. I'll e-mail you the information you were interested in."

"Thanks, Dr. Carlson." Kate gave a little wave, and turned around to walk out of the office. " Jill thought the tiny wave was adorable. I'll see you at home, Cyn. I see you around, Jill," and with that, Kate was leaving the office.

"Hey, K. I want to ask you about something later, all right? What time are you going to be home?" Cynthia asked.

"I'll be home around nine p.m. tonight."

"Okay. See you."

"Bye."

Kate left, with a departing smile at Jill.

"That was the most I've ever heard her speak," Jill marveled.

Julie Carlson smiled. "I was told by one of my TAs last year that she was always quiet in class. But she's an astonishingly knowledgeable girl; it's almost like she was there as events happened. What can I do for you ladies?"

Cynthia and Jill sat down.

Julie often worried about her dark-haired former student; she seemed far too old for her age. The blue eyes held a sadness that could not be understood, and the girl always seemed to be tired- not physically, but emotionally. Physically, the girl was fit as a fiddle, although Julie thought the girl might have an eating disorder- Kate would occasionally lose rapid amounts of weight, giving her a gaunt appearance. However, Julie knew that there were certain unspoken boundaries with Kate, and she didn't want to push her away. Julie also worried about what she thought was Kate's painful shyness, and was concerned that Kate may be taken advantage of.

Meanwhile, Kate skipped her English class. She was a bit shaken. When she had gone to talk to Dr. Carlson, it'd only been to pop in and say hello. However, she saw a book on the desk called "The Xena Scrolls" and immediately thought back to her dreams. She'd asked Dr. Carlson about it, who told her a short background and promised to e-mail her more information later. Apparently, the book was more anthropological and archaeological than mythological, so it was not really Julie's scholarship. Kate wondered if she heard the name Xena somewhere else, perhaps in a book or play she once read, and the name just happened to appear in her dreams. However, she thought the name was too unique to forget, and was somewhat bothered by it.

She walked to the campus coffee shop and bought steamed milk flavoured with almond roca, and killed the thirty minutes she had until she had to go to work at the campus postal office one floor below. She thought about what a putrid day job she had, but knew that having one was a necessity. The campus postal office had flexible hours, and since it was university affiliated, it paid part of her tuition via work-study.

At work, her thoughts were alternately centered around Jill and the name, Xena. 'I've never shown interest in anyone- as a friend or anything more, and now I'm being all obsessive about some girl I met only yesterday morning. Am I nuts? Crazy? But when she was crying last night, I felt like it was MY duty to comfort her, and bloody hell, she's CYNTHIA'S best friend. I'm nuts, that has to be it. Can there be any other explanation? Maybe I'm being punished with insanity. But is liking someone really considered to be insane? Am I insane just because of that? Maybe I'm insane for thinking like this. And why is Jill so familiar to me? It's weird, when I first met Julia, I felt a similar intensity of recognition, and I loved Julia with all my heart. Jill's just an acquaintance. A near stranger! Why do I feel this way towards her? I always thought Cyn looked familiar, but I could never quite remember why, and who could forget meeting someone as beautiful as Cynthia?'

Finally, the thoughts really DID start to drive her a little crazy and she let out a loud, frustrated growl, and slapped herself in the head. Her coworker, Jeff Kim laughed at her. "What's wrong, dongsang?" he asked her, using the Korean word for little sister. She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just thinking."

"Ah, all right. I could see how that would frustrate you, it's so rare."

"Shut up."

"All right. But don't do that when customers are here, it'd scare them off."

"Ha ha. Oh, great. There's that girl that always loses her fucking mail key. How many times can some stupid bitch lose her mail key?"

Jeff laughed. "Not everyone in this school is as intelligent or enlightened as you are, that girl is probably one of the nitwits."

"Jeff, I forget what I'm going to say in the middle of a sentence, I lose my keys like, three times a day, but I always fucking find them. This is the FIFTH time this MONTH. I swear, the fee for the new key would pay for a meal at Chili's."

Jeff laughed, and affectionately tapped Kate in the back of the head.

Meanwhile the redheaded girl in question walked up to the window and smiled. "Hi, uh. I lost my mail key."

Kate smirked, and Jeff fought the urge to laugh. He handed the girl some papers to fill out. She smiled at him. After the girl left, Kate blew out a breath in exasperation. "Gah, what a dingy broad."

"What if she's on the Dean's List?"

"She's STILL a dingy broad. I swear, no one can lose that key that many times. She MUST be plotting something."

"Katherine! So untrusting. Maybe she's just stupid."

"What if she's on the Dean's List?" Kate quipped.

"Shut up."

Several hours later, Kate was standing in front of her newest client. She was dressed in brown leather pants and a white tank top- completely different from her earlier attire of baggy jeans and a University of Connecticut sweatshirt. Kate had always been prone to leather, however, she rarely wore leather pants to school. She felt that wearing leather pants when meeting clients somehow gave her a more intimidating aura. She was wearing her wig and contacts again, and was facing the man who was sitting nervously in a chair. He handed her the information sheets on the marks. She took it silently and scanned through it,

"Hmm. You told me these people have fairly steady daily patterns. You are certain these are it? I have to do surveillance work, and I don't want to waste my time."

"I'm sure."

"Good." She looked at the pictures and the physical descriptions. "Is this the most recent photo of Mr. Harrington?"

The man nodded.

"The picture shows a mole on his right cheek. However, you left that out in the description. Why?"

Candella cleared his throat. "Oh, he had it removed with laser surgery about a month ago."

Kate nodded. "Last month you say? Are there any faint traces of it? The mole looks fairly dark, so the pigmentation must have run fairly deep. The deeper the pigmentation runs, the more surgery is needed."

Candella nodded slightly. "It's pretty faint now."

"All right."

"This woman- Allison. You listed her eyes as green, but the in the picture, her eyes are blue. Do you just not pay close enough attention or are they contacts?"

"They are contacts. She has blue contacts."

"Mr. Candella, you should have listed that when I asked you about any disabilities. I specifically stipulated that you list corrective lenses."

"I'm sorry!" He sounded a bit hysterical. Kate wondered if he thought she was going to kill him. She wasn't a fucking serial killer.

"That's all right, Mr. Candella, it would just be a shame for me to kill the wrong person, wouldn't it?"

"I'm very sorry, Ms. Gersho."

"I told you, it's all right. I am taking on your assignment. I want half the payment in three days. I will meet you here again then."

"Okay."

"We've talked about all the specifics beforehand, so I hope there will be no trouble. I hope for you."

"I promise you there will be no problems."

"Good."

Kate left the man's residence and walked back to her car, repeating the previous night's act of transforming herself back into Kate Lonnigan.

She drove home and greeted Cynthia and Jill who were seated on the couch watching a video.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey. Can we talk to you?" Cynthia asked.

Kate was instantly wary; knowing that 'can we talk to you' can never be good. She was proven wrong when she found it that 'talk' only regarded Jill's temporary move-in. She shrugged her acquiescence, and walked up the stairs to start her homework, declining their offer to watch the video with them.

She checked her e-mail and was delighted to see that Julie Carlson had come through for her yet again. Julie had become a mentor to Kate, although Kate was not in Julie's department. Kate sometimes had to stop herself from calling Julie "Julia". Julie had once told her, "you have a Freudian obsession, which is kind of cute." It was this comment that endeared Julie Carlson to Kate. Kate knew that she was searching for a replacement mother figure, just as Jang Hoon was a replacement father figure, and secretly thought it was selfish to use Julie as a way to rewrite her past with her mother. However, something about the woman was so comforting and Kate felt, well, safe. She used to feel that way around her mother, that is, until her father left and her mother began to change. Julie even behaved in a maternal manner toward Kate, urging her to go to class, reminding her to eat vegetables, telling her to gain weight. Once, she had even tried to fix Kate up with one of her students, but gave up when she realised that Kate wasn't going to speak more than five words to the boy. She glanced at the folder containing the file her new client gave her, and she sighed, marking Julie Carlson's e-mail as new. She picked up the manilla folder.

Kate studied the information sheets. Carl Harrington and Allison Taylor both kept fairly regular schedules- or so the information sheets said. She decided to take the next few days off from school to track how closely their patterns were related to the schedules listed. She e-mailed a few acquaintances so that she could get notes for the days she missed.

For the next few days, Kate tracked her two marks. They were living together in a townhouse thirty minutes away from her own apartment. Candella came through with half the money right on time, and she made a few purchases for the kill. About a week later, she was ready.

She headed into Los Angeles via Greyhound to get a rental car. She rented a car under an assumed name with a false set of identification cards-- driver's license, social security and credit card. She paid in cash. She rented a hotel room in Los Angeles and drove an hour and half to the Harrington/Taylor residence. It was utterly out of her way, but people who took precautions didn't get caught. By then, she knew that they came home from work, ate and sat on the couch watching television until one of them fell sleep.

The kill went smoothly. She picked the lock to gain entry and walked stealthy to the living room where they watched television. They looked up in shock as Kate entered the room. She wore a black ski mask with a blonde wig hanging loosely down her shoulders. Kate stared at them briefly, which resulted in giving them the opportunity to leap up from the sofa. She cursed herself for allowing even that brief moment happen, usually she doesn't even give the mark or marks opportunity to react. Harrington quickly placed himself in front of Taylor, and still, Kate did not fire. Her pale blue eyes, hidden behind the contacts watched him, as he valiantly put himself between Kate and his girlfriend. Then he began to shout, but before he could even get a full cuss word in, she shot her AR-7 rifle, shooting each individual once- cutting off any means of escape. Allison Taylor's mouth was frozen in a silent scream. Then she shot each of them two more times, to ensure death. She made sure to maintain a careful distance as the blood splattered from her victims. 'Like a balloon of blood, or like a flower, pricking the skin makes it bloom.' She wondered at the strange thought, and focused her full attention on the job. She questioned her abilities as a contract killer, when she gave them so much time to react, even if it was a completely anomaly.

She glanced at the clock- 2am. She was sure that no one had seen her, but knew she had to do the job quickly. She ransacked the house, making it look like a burglary. She messed up all the rooms, and took the valuable items off the bodies. She pocketed the cash and put the valuables in her duffel bag. She made sure she made left no fingerprints and that the bodies wouldn't be visible to a passerby through the window. She left through the front door, locking it behind her.

Once inside her car, she drove five minutes to a small street where she ran a rat-tail file down the bore of the gun to change the ballistic markings. She removed the silencer and threw it out the window, driving over it and crushing it. She changed her tennis shoes. As she drove, she threw various incriminating items out the window including anything other than cash that she took from the marks. She removed her fifth pair of rubber gloves that she used in the kill last. She stuffed all pairs into a plastic bag and set it on fire, watching it burn until nothing was left but ash.

Soon, she had nothing to incriminate her. Not even her clothes were bloody. She shucked them and tossed them into a donation bin, along with the tennis shoes she used on the job. She drove the car back to the car lot and dusted the car for fingerprints, just like she had dusted the motel room earlier. After that was done, she returned the car and took a train home. Back in her own county once again, she sighed with contentment.

The job had been a particular pain in the ass. Firstly, as much as she hated to admit it, she hated killing women. She had issues when it came to dealing with her emotions, and such sentimental thoughts bothered her. Secondly, although the marks only lived half an hour away from her, she could not risk using her own car or renting a car in the area. Usually driving into the next major city was not a big deal, but she was also in the middle of midterms and was consequently resentful.

She knew that she was a little too cautious, but the overly cautious never got caught. Cynthia and Jill had been spending so much time together that they'd probably not even noticed her absence. Even if they had, there was nothing to make them suspicious. Neither of them would think she was insane enough to leave school during midterms.

Kate was only partially correct. Cynthia and Jill DID notice Kate's absence, but thought she was studying at the library. Luckily for Kate, she had a history of disappearing into the library for days at a time, so it was nothing unusual to Cynthia, especially during midterms.

Kate also destroyed the set of false identification she used for the trip. Soon, the call from her client came, and Kate got her money. She cheerfully treated Cynthia and Jill to a pizza with the works and a video as a "midterm study break." Jill chose the movie- "Beaches," and both Cynthia and Jill were astonished that Kate had never seen it.

"Dude, Katie, "Beaches" is the definitive best friends movie," Cynthia said.

"Yeah, it's great. Bette Midler's vocals and Barbara Hershey, who could ask for more?" Jill added.

"Let's just watch the movie." Kate muttered.

Two hours later, all three girls were crying. Kate was doing her best to hide it, however. Kate was an interesting paradox of emotion and a lack of it. She could kill two people- almost mindlessly. She had little or no remorse. On the job, and she was a killing machine- devoid of any human emotion that would make murder repulsive to the reasonable person. And yet, Cynthia who was the closest thing she had to a friend would say that Kate was intensely emotional- as "mercurial as a pit bull."

Kate was the type of person who cried at the opening sequence of "The Lion King," when Mufasa held up Simba. She got a lump in her throat whenever she read the "Count of Monte Cristo." She could also sit and watch stone-faced the next day at the very scenes that have made her cry. It depended on her mood. Her mood swings were intense. It wasn't so much that she became snappy- she didn't. But Kate could joke around with Cynthia while watching "Tom and Jerry," one hour and then sulk in her room with Radiohead blaring the next hour. Some days, she'd only come out of the room to go to school, and at those times, she was simply out of reach- for anyone.

"That's so sad, how the little girl saw her father on the street," Kate muttered.

Cynthia and Jill glanced at one another. Kate's last comment was said in a bitter tone of voice, and there was a faraway look in the younger woman's eyes. Jill raised her eyebrows. Cynthia made her famous 'I don't know what the hell is going on' expression.

"I know, that whole scene always makes me cry," Jill said.

Kate sniffed. "Turn the damn thing off. We all better get to studying."

"Yeah, you're right. Do you have a midterm tomorrow?"

"Thursday."

"You must have been studying pretty hard, you were at the library for a long time."

Kate was silent for a moment as she thought of what she was really doing those days when she was "studying at the library." She smiled ruefully, "nah, not too hard."

Kate and Jill had gotten closer in the time that Jill was living at the apartment. Kate was surprised at how quickly and easily she'd gotten used to the woman's presence and actually come to like her. The only other person she'd ever taken a liking to so quickly was Julia, and the commonalties between the two both disconcerted and oddly appealed to her. She was comfortable in the other woman's presence, but only when Cynthia was around as well.

The weekend after midterms, Cynthia's sister called her and begged her to come home for the weekend. The Holbrook parents were fighting again, and her sister and brother were both scared. Apparently, the arguing was worse than usual. After her last class on Friday, Cynthia headed back home. Kate and Jill mostly avoided each other in silence; it was rare for them to spend any time one-on-one. Cynthia's presence always made it easier for Jill and Kate to be around one another- both were struggling with increasing attraction. For Jill, she knew she wanted to pursue something with the younger dark-haired woman, but she was unsure if Kate would be willing. Consequently, she was always somewhat nervous around Kate when Cynthia wasn't present. Kate was trying to sort out her feelings for Cynthia. She'd never really desired anyone- male or female sexually, and the thought generally made her stomach knotty. She'd had sexual encounters with men, but those were one-night stands or "fuck buddies."

Jill was reading "Infinite Jest," when Kate came pounding down the stairs and turned on the television. She smiled wryly at Jill, and chirped, "Korean videos!"

A pretty young woman with a monotone voice showed the top ten videos for that week. Kate looked disgusted at the countdown. "Those videos suck," she muttered. The camera switched to a young man who hosted the Requests segment.

"Jo Sung Mo's 'To Heaven' was requested by JoJo," said the VJ.

"Yeay!" said Kate.

Jill watched the video curiously.

"So, what's going on in this video?"

"Okay, see that guy . . . he's like the main character, and he's in trouble with the law. The guy in black is tracking him. Anyway, the main guy and that girl he's kissing are actually total strangers. He just kissed her to hide himself."

"Oh," Jill said, watching the video out of mild curiosity. All the actors and actresses in the video were good looking.

"Hey, who's that chick he's having dinner with?" Jill asked.

"That one is his sister."

The video continued. Kate was sitting on the floor while Jill had been seated on the couch. Soon, Jill was inching her way over to Kate, and both were lying on the ground on their stomachs watching the video.

"Okay, this part is actually a flashback. See how he's walking by those guys with tattoos? When the guy and his sister were little kids, their father was meeting them, but those gang members killed him in front of them. That's why the guy is in trouble with the law. Because he's going around killing those guys in revenge."

"Geez. Everyone in this video is dying."

"You ain't seen nothing yet."

Jill watched the rest of the video in surprise as the girl, the main character's new love interest died in car explosion and the man commits suicide.

"Geez, that video was a little depressing," Jill said.

"Yeah, but the singer is like that-- ultra depressing videos. This one is actually not as sad as some of his others."

"Cynthia told me you speak Korean fluently."

"Yeah."

"Where'd you learn it?"

"Oh, it was just something I picked up."

"Wow. I think that's pretty amazing."

Kate merely smiled in response, clearly embarrassed. Kate and Jill continued to watch the screen, but their attentions were focused on each other.

"I felt bad for the guy, when they flashbacked to when he and his sister were little kids and they saw their father getting beat to death- but I don't think going out and murdering people in revenge was the right thing to do."

Kate unwittingly snapped her head towards Jill. "I thought it was only natural. The desire to hurt the thing or person that hurt you is as old as mankind itself."

"Yeah, but such a blood feud society is primitive. I mean, if everyone went out and got that sort of revenge, no one would be left living. That's what the criminal justice system is for."

"The system doesn't always work."

Jill could sense that Kate was getting increasingly agitated, although she wasn't sure why. For some reason, her comment struck a chord with the dark-haired woman. Kate had turned her head back towards the television, and now was pointedly engrossed in the next video, which featured four girls dancing on a beach.

"What's the name of this song?" Jill asked.

"The English translation would be 'Forever Love,'" Kate replied. The conversation with Jill made her think of Julia and David Light. She'd never felt any remorse for the man's death. He was a 21-year old man who raped a young girl four years his junior. Kate saw him as the catalyst behind Julia's death. In Kate's eyes, he threw Julia into a downward spiral of such misery that she took her own life.

Kate wished she knew what was going on in Julia's head those few weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds before Julia's death. She thought there was some point in the middle of all that time that she could have done something, said something. Julia was the best friend she'd ever had, and since David was the impetus behind her death, Kate killed him without even blinking an eye.

'I wonder what Jill would think if she knew what I did to supplement my income. I guess that's what separates me from normal, decent human beings. They have qualms against just killing people, and it's practically in my blood.'

They watched the evening news together. Kate watched emotionlessly as the anchorman gave the details of a double murder, ostensibly the result of a burglary gone wrong. Jill looked disturbed. "Geez, that's only thirty minutes from here."

Kate smiled at her. "I guess you have a gentle heart, but that kind of thing happens everywhere. Plus, if you think about it, our little college town has more than its fair share of crime. I mean, we don't really have any homicides here, thank goodness, but think about how many rapes and sexual assaults have occurred since school began. There were three rapes reported last quarter, and that's the word- reported."

"You're not instilling a lot of faith in me, you know."

Kate shrugged. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to frighten you. I'm only saying that people always think their homes are safe, and really, they aren't."

"But the home is the one last sanctuary-"

"There's no such thing, not like a physical one anyway and not in this life. Maybe once you're dead you have that place of sanctuary, but for the living, there's nowhere that is safe- or peaceful."

Jill was beginning to feel a little sad from the conversation, and she was also surprised that Kate was revealing so much of her personality.

"What did you mean by a non-physical sanctuary?"

Kate looked at her and smiled sadly. "Just that. There may be no physical sanctuary, but maybe you can find it in the eyes of a loved one."

"Do you think that's true?"

"If you're lucky." Kate stood up. "I think I'm going to bed early. Goodnight." Jill watched silently as the dark-haired woman began to walk away.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna eat breakfast tomorrow at the Bagel Depot? My treat?"

Kate grinned. "Yeah, that'd be cool. Thanks."

Kate lied on the ground in her room, staring up at the ceiling, listening to Enya's song "Boadecia" on repeat. Julia, I miss you so bad. It's like some days, it'll be normal and I can just go through the day without wanting to cry every time I think of you. But there are other days like today . . . Jesus. Julia. I really failed you, didn't I? We were best friends and that meant that it should have been a two-way street. You were always the one to watch out for me, you were like . . . you saved me. I failed you. Fuck, it's like I killed you myself, since you used my gun to do it . . . Julia, I'm so sorry.

She drifted off eventually.

Kate was in Connecticut, where she lived with Jang Hoon and Julia before her best friend died. She was standing in front of Julia's grave marker. She kneeled down in front of it, and gently touched the stone.

"Hey, Ju. Uh, well . . . I don't know what to say . . ."

"Why do you think you have to say anything?"

Kate turned around and saw Julia dressed in a pair of blue jeans torn at the knee, a white tank top and a flannel t-shirt. The blue-eyed woman scrambled hastily to her feet.

"Holy shit." Kate whispered. "I'm insane."

Julia shrugged. "You're dreaming."

"And you're dead."

Julia shrugged again. "Yeah, but I don't think you should hold that against me." She stepped closer to Kate, and enveloped her in a hug. "So, why do you feel so guilty?" Julia asked.

Kate scrunched up her nose. "What do I have to feel guilty about? I don't feel guilty," she lied.

"Don't lie, Katherine. I've known you far too long for that."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I used to hate it when you did that . . . and isn't that my flannel shirt and tank top?"

Julia shrugged.

"AND MY JEANS!"

Julia smiled. "You want them back?"

Kate laughed. "No."

Julia grew serious, "Kate, you know that I adore you. I would have done anything for you, you were my best friend. But I killed myself. You didn't kill me. I had a choice."

Kate rubbed her face. "I left you alone that night, and I should have known better. You used my gun."

"You can't move on, if you don't let go."

"I don't want to let go. I have so little left of you . . ."

"Do you remember that picture of us from Christmas? The one where you were wearing that dopey Santa hat?"

"You MADE me wear that!"

"Hey, you had a choice. Just like I did, might I add. The point is, I still remember that moment, and I remember that picture too . . ."

"I remember too," Kate said softly.

"Remember when we used to joke about being Korean pop stars?"

Kate giggled. "We were weird kids."

"Yeah, we were. We had some great times, didn't we?"

"Yeah."

"I have them all here," Julia said, touching her chest, "in my heart. Human beings need memories, you'll always have those."

"But I don't have you."

"Sooner or later, we all die. We all have to let go, Kate. I'll always love you, but you have to let go of feeling guilty about me. You didn't do anything WRONG."

"I dream about you all the time."

Julia smiled. "I know."

"A lot of times I dream about the night you died."

Julia's smile faded. "I know that too," she said quietly. "I'm sorry, Kate. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you."

"Why didn't you come to me?"

Julia sighed. "I don't know. I just started feeling like . . . I was so dirty and poisoned, you know? It's not that I wanted to kill myself, I just wanted to stop that awful voice in my head . . . to stop feeling like I did."

"What FEELING?"

"I don't know! It was like a perpetual ache! I just wanted to stop feeling that way, I would have done anything to stop feeling like that, to feel like the way I did before- and I did."

"And now you're gone," Kate said bitterly, "damn you, Julia. You left me."

Julia reached out to touch Kate's face. "That's right, darling. Damn ME, not YOU. One day, all the guilt and anger is going to eat away at you, it's going to kill you. It's already happening . . . let it go. Let your anger at David Light, at me . . . let it go. Let go of your guilt about me, about some of the stuff that happened with the others. Redeem yourself now. Let go of the guilt, and stop the killing."

"Your uncle taught me the trade, Julia. I'm a murderer, it's easy for me, it's like it's in my blood."

"You've always walked the path of the warrior," a new voice said.

Kate glanced at the new person. It was a beautiful Asian woman, who looked a bit like Julia- if Julia had lived another ten years. The woman seemed serene and sure of herself. Julia wrapped an arm around the woman's waist.

"This is Lao Ma, one of my ancestors."

Kate's eyes widened. "Lao Ma?"

"To quote one of YOUR ancestors, Katherine, 'oh, you've heard of me?'"

"You . . . you were in my dreams."

Lao Ma smiled. "Yes. Those were really incidences of a time long past now. I knew one of your ancestors . . . intimately. Her name was-"

"Xena." Kate finished.

"Yes."

"Well, fuck me," Kate muttered. She glared at Julia automatically, as her long-lost friend elbowed her in the ribs.

"You're in a place now that Xena once faced. You no longer want to walk the path you're on- it's deviated from the path you were destined for. I will tell you that it was destined that you would meet Julia."

"If all this has happened, it is my destiny."

Lao Ma smiled. "You have an incorrect concept of Destiny. Surely, some things that are meant to be will be, no matter what. But you weren't meant to be a killer. That was of your own volition, and now, like Xena before you, you must break free of that. You have to fulfill your destiny by choice."

"What is my Destiny?"

"I can't disclose it. You will go back to your path when you are ready, but you are at a key crossroads."

"Why?"

"Because you're getting bored with such wanton killing."

"I hardly think it's wanton. I don't kill for the sake of killing, I do it for money."

"Katherine." Julia spoke for the first time in the exchange between Kate and Lao Ma. It was Julia's 'maternal' voice.

Kate sighed. "Yes, I am bored with this life. But I can't seem to break away from it. I think I want to stop, but something keeps driving me to do it, to WANT to do it. "

"And you've met your soul mate."

"WHAT?"

"The blonde one- named Jill. She is destined to be in your life."

"Uh . . . she's totally chatty. She's not my type."

Lao Ma and Julia both laughed. "You two are like yin and yang- you complete each other- one soul in two bodies," Lao Ma told her.

Kate looked at Julia helplessly. "But Ju- Julia is my best friend, she was the closest thing to a soul mate I ever-"

Julia smiled. "It was fated that you and I should meet before you met Jill, a form of preparation. You could love one another forever if you let it happen."

Kate shut her eyes. "There's no such thing as eternal love- not on earth anyway."

"I love you eternally, and you said it yourself one night, you'll love me forever. It can happen, there is such thing ."

"That was in a dream, and you're dead. I love you forever because you're lost to me. Forever doesn't work when both parties are alive."

Julia looked at Lao Ma. "Hey, I know I'm supposed to be all enigmatic and serene and stuff, you know, following the Rules, but the girl's logic is soooooo twisted."

Kate frowned. "I don't know anymore. I don't believe in love, but I feel strangely towards Jill. I'm oddly attracted, and repelled at the same time."

Julia shrugged. "It's all right. You're frightened. Give her a chance so you can get to know her better."

"I'll try," Kate said. "Ju? Leave it to you to be dead, haunt me and then get all elitist and make reference to Ruuuuuules. "

Julia grinned. She reached out her right hand and grasped Lao Ma's hand and held Kate's hand in her left. "Bitch," she said teasingly. They had been such weird kids, calling each other names to show affection. "It's time for you to get back" she said, and kissed Kate's forehead.

"Oh, and Kate, do your homework."

Kate opened her eyes. Jesus, I must be losing it. She was creeped out, but happy at the same time. It was a strange feeling, but for the moment, she decided to remain content. "Love you, Ju," she muttered. She shut off her stereo and crawled into bed.

The next morning, two freshly showered women sat in the patio area of the Bagel Depot.

Jill thought that Kate seemed to look remarkably more chipper than the previous night.

"So," Kate asked casually, "Cynthia is coming back tomorrow?"

Jill nodded. "Yep. Too bad she's not coming back today, one of our friends is throwing a party for another friend, and I know she would have wanted to go."

Kate gave her a small smile. "This bagel is pretty good. Thanks"

"Yeah, mine is too. And, you're welcome."

They ate in companionable silence for a while, until Jill finally asked, "do you want to go to that party with me tonight?"

Kate blinked. "Will your friend mind?"

"I doubt it . . . It won't be too big like all the parties here on weekends, but it's not like one more person is going to be a big deal. Come with me."

Kate opened her mouth to nix the idea, but before her mind could kick in, she smiled and said, "sure."

Both girls were surprised.