Disclaimer
Love/Sex: This story features relationships between adult women. If this bothers you, is illegal in the State, Province or Country where you live or if you are under the age of 18, find something else to read. There are loads of general stories out there.
Language: There is the use of a few expletives.
Violence: There is no violence in this story.
Hurt/Comfort: There are scenes of heartache to be dealt with by the characters.
Acknowledgment:...Thank you for all your help Carmen and Vi. A special thanks to my sister for editing.Dedication:..For my friend Julie whose unwavering support has given me wings to once again fly.
Author's Personal Note: I have learned...that a rat can dress itself up in new clothes and even don a new hat with a little feather in the band then strut around as if it were something else...at the end of the day though, it is still a rat. Or, as a wise woman once said...same ho different dress.
That Kiss
Conclusion* * *
With the time change Carlin’s plane landed in San Francisco on Tuesday at four o’clock . Her meeting with Mark had been cordial and financially beneficial for her paycheck. She received a handsome raise and a broader job description. All in all she felt she was on the fast track to bigger and better things within the company. The time she spent traveling to the west coast gave her the opportunity to map out a plan for finding Helen’s true identity. Her fascination with Helen wasn’t about sex; in fact that didn’t really enter into the equation. It was something deeper than just the physical.
By the time she had checked into her room and unpacked Carlin was ready to put her plans into motion. First she called Sue to let her know she had arrived safe.
Sue answered the phone breathlessly with a laugh. “Hello.”
“Sue? What’s going on? Aren’t you home?”
“Hey, Carlin. Me and the guys are out for a drink.” She laughed and Carlin heard her say, I need another.
Fury rose and Carlin’s cheeks turned red. “You certainly are spending a lot of time partying with them…or is it someone in particular?”
“Don’t get your panties all in a wad. It’s not like you're here. What do you want me to do? Sit at home and wait for you?”
“Yeah, well that works two ways.” Carlin realized the futility of the conversation since Sue was obviously intoxicated. “Just wanted to let you know that I’m here,” she said coolly. “I’ll call you tomorrow, if I get a chance.”
Carlin closed her phone and made her way to the front desk. Approaching the matronly older woman behind the main reception desk she took a deep breath and quickly glanced at the nametag - Joyce. She had rehearsed her story, had a small picture of Helen in her purse and a twenty held tightly in her hand.
“May I help you ma’am?” an older, dour woman asked asked.
“Yes, thank you Joyce. I'm certain you can help me.” She had learned long ago that if you start a conversation with positive expectations the other person would do their best to comply. “I stayed here last week and one of your guests was most kind to me when I found myself without enough cash for dinner. I would like to repay her.” She took out the photo of Helen and placed it on the counter. “Do you know this woman?”
The woman looked at the picture and Carlin noted a brief look of recognition before she shook her head. “I’m sorry ma’am. Even if I knew who this was I could not divulge any information about our guests.”
So much for the positive approach . She slid the bill on the counter next to the picture. “Are you sure you can’t help me out?” she asked in her most persuasive voice.
Again the graying woman who apparently knew only how to frown shook her head. “I would lose my job and I can’t afford that,” she said with a blunt tone.
Carlin reached in her wallet and added an additional twenty to the other one. Still the woman refused to answer her questions. Realizing the futility of her efforts she picked up the photo and money and went to the Garden Terrace. Her stomach suddenly was growling loudly to be fed.
* * *
Carlin sat at a table near flowing water as she moved the food on her plate around with her fork. Although she hadn’t eaten in many hours and her stomach complained, she really wasn’t hungry. Her encounter with the uncooperative desk clerk who she knew recognized the picture of Helen, put her in a reflective mood. Tomorrow she would go to a bank and get several hundred dollar bills. One thing she knew was that money talked. Her offer of forty dollars was too little for someone to risk their job. She would make sure her next offer would be one that would not be refused. She would also wait until the person behind the desk was younger, hungrier and pleasant.
The waitress approached her table. “Is there something wrong with your meal?”
Distractedly Carlin looked up at the young girl and then to her plate. “No, no the food is wonderful. I’ll just take the bill now,” she shrugged, smiled and paused briefly. “I wonder if you might be able to help me out.”
“I will try.” The girl sorted through her bills until she came to Carlin’s and placed it on the table.
Carlin reached for her purse and fished inside for the picture of Helen and showed it to the woman. “Do you by any chance know who this is?”
A bright smile crossed the young woman’s face. “Yes, she has been in here and I’ve waited on her.”
With her heart pounding Carlin cautiously asked, “Do you know her name?”
It was then that the girl looked at her suspiciously. “You have her picture but you don’t know her name?” She began to back away.
“Wait. Please don’t go. I can explain.” She recognized the doubt in the eyes searching her. “Please,” she said gently, “this is very important.”
Something in Carlin’s voice told the girl to listen. “Okay.”
“I was here last week and this woman helped me out of a really bad situation when a drunk tried to accost me. We had a few drinks and I got this picture of her and I want to repay her for her kindness.” Her eyes pleaded for understanding. “Nothing underhanded,” she shrugged, ”just trying to repay a kindness.” She had generally told the truth and held her breath as she waited for a reply.
“I don’t know her name. All I can tell you is that she comes in here every Wednesday and she is a good tipper.”
“Thank you,” Carlin said softly. “Can you tell me what time she usually dines?”
“In the evening is the best I can do. Listen I need to go I’ve got orders up.”
“Thank you.” She signed her room number to the bill and tucked forty dollars in the bill holder.
* * *
Armed with the knowledge that Helen could be found in the Garden Terrace every Wednesday for dinner Carlin sat where she hoped she could view all entrances. Her stomach was doing flip flops and her heart was beating double time. Ashley, the waitress from the night before greeted her with a smile.
“Hi, you’re back. Can I get you something from the bar?”
Grateful to see a friendly face Carlin smiled back. “I sure could use a scotch on the rocks.”
“Sure thing.” Ashley began to move away but stopped. “You're the one who was looking for that lady right?”
“Yes,” Carlin said cautiously.
“She usually sits over there by the water.” Ashley pointed to a table very near the one that Carlin was seated at.
Getting up, Carlin moved to the other seat at her table so she could watch the table. When her drink arrived she gladly swallowed the amber colored liquid. Absently she touched her lips and momentarily closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes she saw the very woman who had inspired such delicious thoughts standing in front of her.
“It’s you,” Carlin whispered.
Helen smiled, pulled out the vacant seat and sat down. “Yes. I hear you’ve been looking for me.” She nodded towards the young waitress who was lurking nearby.
Carlin could feel her face flush as she struggled to speak. “I…I…” Coughing slightly she tired again, “I wondered what had happened to you. They told me you weren’t registered at the hotel.”
A drink was placed in front of Helen. “Can I get you ladies anything else?”
Helen smiled sweetly towards Ashley. “No, we will let you know when we do. Thank you.”
Carlin held up her glass. “I need a double.”
“Be right back.”
A deep amused laugh emanated from Helen. “That bad huh?”
“You have no idea.”
For a long time Helen’s blue eyes searched those opposite her. After the new drink was delivered she spoke, “Why are you stalking me? ”
"I'm not," Carlin blurted out. "I just wanted..." Her face flushed. "Oh, hell I guess that is what it looks like but I..."
Seeing Carlin’s anxious expression Helen held up her hand. "Let's see if I understand this correctly. You came into this restaurant and asked the staff about me a week after we briefly met. You also inquired about my status as a guest. Is that correct?"
"Yes," Carlin answered sheepishly before reigning in her emotions. “Why did you give me a fake name?”
“I didn’t.”
“But, they said you weren’t registered.”
“I wasn’t...it’s complicated.”
“Life generally is.” Then it occurred to Carlin that this woman that she had fantasized about for a week had someone else. Don’t I? “A husband, partner…significant other?”
Helen chuckled. “Why is everything always reduced to a relationship?” She shook her head. “Why were you looking for me Carlin?”
She remembers my name that's a good sign. Unconsciously she touched her lips. “That kiss we shared…it simply was…I’ve never felt anything like it.”
Blue eyes focused on a distant spot refusing to look in Carlin’s direction.
“I’m sorry. I’ve spoken out of turn.” Carlin scraped her chair backwards. “I won’t bother you anymore.” Suddenly she felt very foolish for everything she had done in her pursuit of this woman.
“Don’t go,” Helen whispered softly. “It’s complicated.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When her eyes opened they centered on Carlin. “It was a remarkable kiss. It took every bit of resolve I had to let that elevator door close.” She let out a small derisive laugh. “I usually don’t exercise such control.”
Suddenly she stood up. “Will you come with me?”
Taken aback Carlin automatically asked, “Where?”
“You’ll see.” Helen motioned to Ashley and handed her a twenty. “That should cover it.” She looked at Carlin. “Shall we go?” When Carlin didn't move she added, "Please."
* * *
Things were moving at such a rapid pace that it wasn’t until they were in a taxi speeding down the roadway that Carlin finally spoke. “Where are you taking me?” she demanded.
Helen did not speak again until the cab stopped a short time later and she got out. “Please get out we’re here.”
Carlin exited the cab and looked up at the building rising before her. The silver letters above the entrance spelled out Fox Plaza . “What is this place? Is it where you live?”
“You’ll see,” Helen said mysteriously as she walked towards the doors. “Are you coming?”
Not knowing why she went with Helen in the first place, Carlin could only shake her head. I’m really losing it. “Yeah,” she said as she caught up with the woman.
Each woman nodded at the couple that shared the elevator with them. Like their previous elevator ride each was silent lost in their thoughts. When the doors opened they exited and Carlin followed Helen a short way down the hallway. Helen took a key out of her pocket inserted it in the lock and opened the door.
The practical part of Carlin’s brain was telling her to turn around and run away from the situation. The curious part wanted her to forge ahead and resolve whatever it was that she was feeling for Helen.
As Helen went inside she said, “Ruthie, it’s me I came back.”
Cautiously Carlin followed the woman inside the door. What she found was a warm, cozy apartment filled with what could only be described as memories. She saw a woman appear who she thought was a bit younger than Helen. Her hair was blonde and her face was rather pleasing to look at. The body, which was not fit, was a bit round but well proportioned.
“Why did you come back?” Ruth asked before staring at Carlin. “Who is this?” Her eyes darted to Helen’s face. “Is this Carlin?”
Helen nodded.
Taken aback Carlin stood there agape wondering what the hell is happening.
“How is he doing?” Helen asked of the other woman.
“I was just reading to him…I think he is about to fall off to sleep.”
Helen turned to Carlin. “Please come with me.”
Still in a daze, Carlin dutifully followed the woman into a bedroom. There she saw an elderly gentleman lying in the bed. His face lit up when he saw Helen standing there.
Helen stood beside the bed and bent down and kissed the man’s forehead. “How are you feeling tonight Pops?”
“About as well as can be expected for an old man.” The man laughed and began coughing.
“There is that better,” Helen asked as she gently lifted his head and back.
“Yes,” he coughed once more then stopped. His eyes focused on Carlin standing in the doorway. Nodding his head in Carlin's direction he asked, “Is that her?”
“Yes.” Helen motioned for Carlin to come closer. “Pops, this is my friend Carlin Whittaker.”
The old eyes on the worn face looked Carlin up and down before the man smiled. “She is exactly as you described her.” He held out his frail, shaking hand in the direction of Carlin.
Having no other choice, Carlin approached the bed and took the man’s hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you sir.” Although the hand was cold and seemed feeble the man’s grip was strong. Up close she could see that his eyes were the same blue as Helen’s. As he let go of her hand the blue orbs slowly closed.
Seemingly out of nowhere Ruth appeared at the opposite side of the bed. “Pops, why don’t I finish up the chapter?”
The old man opened his eyes and smiled. “That would be nice.”
"I'll see you in the morning." Helen gently kissed the man's cheek then took Carlin’s hand and led her from the room. She partially closed the door behind them before proceeding down the hallway. Once in the living room she said, “Please sit down. We need to talk.”
Carlin’s mind was whirling with so many questions that she didn’t know what to do or say. Sitting down in the upholstered chair she began to speak but stopped when Helen held up her hand.
“I can tell you have many questions so let me tell you a story and maybe that will answer some.”
All Carlin could do was nod her head.
“That is my grandfather in the other room. Six months ago he had a serious heart attack. The doctors told him he could no longer live alone and would have to move to a nursing home or live with family. He refused.” Helen smiled fondly. “He is a stubborn old coot…said he wouldn’t leave his home or be a burden on his family. Finally we got him to agree to move into this apartment and have a full time nurse.”
Ah, Ruth is the nurse.
“The only way he would accept the nurse was if family was with him too.” Helen stared off into the distance for a moment. “So, the family devised a plan…my sister Ruth…
Did she say sister?
…and I stay with him in shifts from Tuesday morning until our parents arrive on Thursday. They leave on Sunday when my brothers arrive. Ruth and I live out of town so we have a suite at the Marriott.” She shrugged. “We stay there when our shift is over…that is why I didn’t meet you for breakfast last week.”
Carlin’s mind was spinning even faster if that was possible. There were even more questions now. “Are you really a lawyer? Do you live in Vegas or somewhere else? Why do they know who I am? Why didn’t you just tell me this last week?” Agitated she added, “Do you have any idea what I’ve gone through to find you.”
Helen sucked in a deep breath and pulled her chair closer to Carlin’s. “Yes, I am a lawyer and I do live in Vegas.”
“Don’t tell me that! I checked it out and there isn’t a Helen O’Connell in Vegas much less one that is a lawyer.”
Looking upward before focusing on Carlin, Helen spoke, “many years ago I foolishly married a man. I use his name, Hargrove in my law practice. I am H.M. Hargrove. I thought it presented a better image rather than a name that clients would liken to a big band singer and so-so actress.”
Carlin listened to the words and realized how foolish she had been. She had pursued this woman with abandon not really knowing anything about her. Suddenly she felt embarrassed and ashamed of her actions and lowered her head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
Ruth appeared. “Helen, he heard your voice and wants to say goodnight.”
“Hold that thought…I’ll be right back.”
Almost at the same instant, Carlin felt the vibration of her cell. “Hello,” she said quietly.
“Caarrrlin,” a laughing incoherent Sue slurred. “I just wanted to call and tell ya…”
Cutting off Sue she said anxiously, “I can’t talk right now.” She heard the indistinct music in the background that Sue was singing off key to. “Sue, are you drunk? I hope your aren’t driving.”
“Me drunk?” She laughed loudly. “Never, and no I’m not driving, Freddie is. You know Freddie; she’s my right arm.”
“Sue, I will call you later. I can’t get into this now,” she said softly but firmly.
“Why? Are your clients more important than me?” Sue belligerently said.
“Are you on your way home?”
“Yeeesssss. What’s it to you?”
Carlin got up and moved into a corner and turned her back to the room. “Is Freddie spending the night?” She could feel anger rising. Sue spoke much too often about her co-worker and all of a sudden she knew why.
Sue sobbed and her words became even more incoherent. “I…I don’t know whatcha mean.”
The conversation was going nowhere and Carlin certainly didn’t want to get into it…not here. “I will call you later.”
“Don’t bother,” Sue screamed.
Carlin heard the phone go silent and knew Sue had hung up. Several minutes later she felt a hand touch her shoulder.
“Is everything okay?” Helen’s voice was filled with genuine concern.
Turning around, Carlin tried to smile, but found one would not come. Her search for Helen had taken on a fanatical life of its own just as her relationship with Sue seemingly was unraveling. Suddenly she felt exhausted both physically and emotionally. “Can we go somewhere else?”
“Of course.” Helen pulled Carlin in and held her tightly. “Let it go,” she whispered.
All the frustration, disappointment, exhilaration and sleepless nights had finally caught up with her. Tears cascaded down Carlin’s cheeks as she leaned into Helen.
* * *
Thirty minutes later the two women were sitting at a small table in the View Lounge. Has it only been a week since I was last here? Carlin thought as she nursed her drink. Helen, the woman she had frantically searched for was sitting across from her and she hadn’t a clue of what to do next.
“I have a partner,” Carlin whispered. Raising her head she looked directly into Helen’s eyes. “I’m so confused.” She took a sip of her drink. “In my business life I am considered self assured. I would imagine some would say I am cocky.” A small smile crossed her face. “I thought Sue was everything to me until…”
“The kiss?”
“Yes, that kiss. I haven’t been able to get it or you out of my mind ever since.” A tingle went through her body as she looked at the woman whose kiss had such a profound effect on her.”
“Nor have I.”
Carlin realized the truth of those words as she recalled that Helen’s sister and grandfather knew her name. “Are you in a relationship?”
“No, my work is my relationship. Except for that brief idiotic marriage I haven’t had any serious commitments. Especially for the last six months. Since I’ve been here during the week my weekends are filled with catch up. Fortunately, with the internet and readily accessible information, I was able to work out this situation with my firm.” Her face was filled with grief.
Uncharacteristically Carlin reached across the table and held Helen’s hand. “Nothing is more important than family, Helen. Jobs will come and go but being here for your grandfather when he needs you is a one time thing.” She squeezed the hand she still held.
“Each time I see him he is weaker. When I’m not with him I am anxious until I see him again.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what the family will do without him. He has been a rock for us all.”
“And now, you all are his rock. I think that is wonderful.”
“Perhaps.” Helen closed her eyes as sadness and tiredness gripped her mind and body. “I need to get some sleep. Ruthie expects me at five.”
Carlin pushed her chair back. “Let’s go then.”
They stood close to each other in the elevator car. When the bell rang and the doors opened Carlin leaned in and pressed the close door button. Turning she took Helen in her arms and kissed her. The kiss of the week before paled in comparison to the slow, passionate kiss they now shared.
As the elevator doors opened again Carlin gently took Helen’s hand and led her to her room.
Carlin caressed Helen’s face. “You look so tired.”
“I’m exhausted.” Helen looked at the bed and sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“I understand completely,” Carlin said compassionately. She took Helen’s hand, led her to the bed and gently pushed her to sit down. She then dialed the front desk and asked for a four-thirty wake-up call. “How about I hold you while you sleep?”
Gratefully Helen smiled as she stretched out on the bed and Carlin took her in her arms. They both soon were asleep fully clothed and safe in each other’s arms.
* * *
Sitting in a window seat, Carlin watched the landscape pass by below. In three hours she would be meeting Helen again and they would explore if there was a future for them. At their last meeting they agreed that both their lives were too complicated to make any decisions about a relationship. Carlin needed to sort out what she felt for Sue and whether or not she wanted to continue with that bond. For Helen, her grandfather’s condition was paramount along with the heavy work schedule her devotion to him had created. They had agreed to meet again in six months when hopefully their lives would be more settled.
She let her mind drift to her arrival back home after her last trip to San Francisco. Since Helen needed to leave in the late morning after they had spent the night in each other’s arms. Carlin caught a flight out too. The two women spent their last moments together in the airport terminal discussing the obstacles facing their lives. For Carlin it was a comfort to have someone to talk to and know that she was safe. She valued Helen’s encouragement and her logical take on the situation with Sue. What she didn’t know was what she would find when she arrived home. Sue had been increasingly erratic over the last months and Carlin never knew what to expect at any given moment. All her attempts to discuss about the strange behavior with Sue were rebuffed with, “Oh, stop being so dramatic. There is nothing wrong.” As a result of her conversation with Helen, she realized their relationship was far from idyllic.
She had tried unsuccessfully to call Sue and let her know what time her flight would arrive. Not only was there no answer on her cell, home or work phones, the voice mail didn’t work on any of them either. When the taxi dropped her off in front of their home she was puzzled to not see any lights on. She unlocked the door, turned on a light and was surprised to see her home in disarray. Pizza boxes and beer cans were strewn all about and there was a definite odor of stale smoke.
“Sue,” she said softly fearing she might alert an intruder if she spoke to loudly.
Carlin moved into the kitchen which had every surface literally covered with dishes and garbage. Cautiously she walked into their bedroom. “Sue,” she said again. The bed was rumpled and clothes, some she didn’t recognize, were strewn about. A chill of fear ran up her spine as she heard a slight noise from the bathroom.
Opening the door she didn’t see Sue until she looked in the bathtub where her partner was laying naked. “Sue,” Carlin cried out as she rushed to her side. Her eyes scanned Sue and then focused on the needle lying near an arm with many puncture wounds.
“Who did this to you?” Her voice was filled with distress and compassion as she knelt down and leaned in closer. Her nostrils were immediately assaulted with the odors of beer and sex.
“Carlin, you came to my party.” Sue attempted to pick up the needle. “Come on and join me. This stuff is wonderful!”
Anger rose in Carlin as she stood up. “Are you telling me that you did this to yourself?”
“Huh?”
“Did someone attack you Sue and force you to do drugs and have sex?”
Sue looked at Carlin as if she were crazy. “Hell no. Freddie said this would take the edge off and she was sooooo right.”
In a blur of motion Carlin turned on the cold water and raised the lever for the shower.
“Hey!” Sue tried to cover her body from the onslaught of cold water.
“Get the hell up,” Carlin screamed, “and clean yourself up.”
Going back into the bedroom, Carlin went to the bed, pulled back the sheets and covered her mouth in disgust. There were multiple skid marks on the sheets along with other unrecognizable substances. She rapidly walked to the kitchen kicking trash out of her way as she went. After retrieving a box of large trash bags, she returned to the bedroom and gathered up all the bedclothes and stuffed them in the large black bags.
Sue, still naked, stood in the bathroom doorway. “Hey, I’m sorry I was just having a little party…you know to celebrate my new contract.”
Cold eyes fixed on Sue. “You didn’t even bother to have protected sex. How many people did you share that needle with?”
“It wasn’t me having sex there.” Sue pointed to the bed. “And, I didn’t share needles with anyone.” She took on a defensive pose.
“Liar.”
“I am not!”
“Sue, you reek of sex and those bite marks all over your body didn’t just appear there. There are track marks up your arm. Do you think I am stupid?”
“Well, you are never here.”
“Don’t go there!” Carlin picked up all the clothes on the floor and threw them in bags as well.
“What are you doing with that stuff?” Sue asked belligerently.
“Throwing out the trash.” Carlin stopped what she was doing and moved within inches of Sue. “Get your things and get out of my house.”
“It’s my house too.”
Carlin's voice, cold and distant said in no uncertain terms, “Not anymore. Now get everything you own and get out.” Her eyes turned to the bedside clock. “You have two hours.”
Carlin left the room with the box of garbage bags in tow. In the living room she proceeded to clean up the trash.
For a long moment Sue stood motionless. Surely the drugs had dulled her senses and she had heard Carlin wrong. She heard the rattling of cans and glasses in the other room and realized exactly what her partner had said. “She can’t do that to me!” she said as she hurried out of the room.
“I have no intention of leaving,” Sue screamed as she held her hands on her bare hips.
In a flash Carlin was upon her again. “You have two choices. You can leave on your own or I will throw you out. I will remind you that I do own this house.”
For several long moments the two woman stood locked in each other’s gaze. “You don’t mean this baby,” Sue’s voice was soft and pleading. The look of anger and hate in Carlin’s eyes was unmistakable. “You’ll be sorry.”
“I already am.”
* * *
One month later Carlin had sold the house along with all the contents, except for personal items. She had discovered that Sue and Freddie had been having an affair for almost a year. The major problems that supposedly arose with Sue’s project turned out to have been minor. Sue merely wanted to have the time alone with Freddie. Carlin realized that Sue was not alone in the failure of their relationship, but Sue’s actions resulted in its demise.
Carlin threw herself into her work traveling extensively around the world. She managed to personally visit and inspect every company that was considered for acquisition. Although she longed to speak with Helen she honored their agreement of no contact for six months. On several occasions she dialed Helen’s number only to hang up before it rang. She needed to sort out her life and job before she could ever consider any type of involvement.
After their break up Sue’s dependency on drugs increased so dramatically that she eventually was fired. Ironically, Freddie who had hooked her on drugs was promoted to take Sue’s place. It was at that point that Freddie showed her true colors and ended all contact with Sue. Once Carlin found out that Sue was living on the streets she made it a point to find her. For days Carlin held her former lover in her arms as she withdrew from the effects of the drugs.
Sitting in a darkened room holding a trembling Sue in her arms Carlin reflected on the events that had lead her to that point. If she was brutally honest, she could admit that much of the trouble between them had been her fault. She had been driven in her job to find the best acquisitions and beat the competition to them. To be fair though, Sue too had made her job a priority once she was promoted to department head.
Carlin tried to pinpoint the moment when they both started to exist separately. She had always had a problem with Sue’s excesses with alcohol, but chose to overlook that because she loved her. Many of the arguments and misunderstandings they had were a result of Sue’s drunken rages. But, as Carlin held Sue she knew that wasn’t the reason for their drifting apart. It was on a much deeper level. Then, with a clarity one seems to only get when they are tired and emotionally spent, she knew the moment she began to fall out of love with Sue.
*
They were vacationing in the Bahamas three years earlier. The time had been spent leisurely sitting on the beach soaking up the sun. The week that Carlin had hoped would give them some much needed alone time hadn’t materialized. Like most vacations they went on, Sue insisted on going out to clubs each night and partying. She always would say she was on vacation and needed the outlet. It was on their last night on Paradise Island that Carlin had arranged a special candle light dinner for them. She wanted to spend their last night in the island paradise alone.
“What do you say after we finish here we go back to the room and spend some alone time?”
“You’re kidding right?” Carlin’s face must have told Sue she was serious. “Babe, this is my last night here and tonight is the big fiesta night! I can’t miss that.”
As Sue chattered on about where she wanted to go and what she wanted to see Carlin realized the truth - Sue never used the word ‘we’, only ‘me’. For the next three years she listened for Sue to say ‘we’. Those words were rarely spoken.
*
Carlin allowed Sue to stay in her guest room on the condition she would get treatment for her addictions. Although Sue made overtures to resume their relationship, Carlin made it clear that would never happen. She would never trust Sue again and reasoned that was no way to have a partnership. Reluctantly Sue agreed since she really had no other choice.
* * *
Sitting quietly at the table where they first shared drinks, Helen watched the elevator intently. It had been six months since she last spoke with Carlin and she wondered if her feelings for the woman would be the same.
Her life had changed dramatically over the last six months. Her beloved grandfather lost his fight with heart disease and passed away two months earlier. Even now when she recalled his face, his voice or his smile she felt bereft. His last words to her as she held his hand before he passed were “grab for the brass rings in life Helen.”
She had taken him at his word and began looking for all the opportunities that were around her for happiness. When she saw the elevator doors open and Carlin step out she knew that the woman may just be the brass ring. She stood up and smiled broadly as Carlin approached.For a long moment the two women just stood motionless until they embraced.
“It’s so good to see you.”
Carlin breathed in the scent of Helen and sighed. “I was so sorry to hear about your grandfather’s passing.” Helen had sent her a brief note about the man’s death and she responded with a message of condolence.
Pulling out of the hug, Helen smiled sadly. “Thank you. I miss him every day. Come sit down. I ordered you a drink.”
Carlin’s heart was beating rapidly and she found it hard to take her eyes off of Helen. The tired weariness that was in her face the last time they met was gone. In its place was a look of peace, albeit with a hint of sadness.
Over the rim of her glass Helen looked intently at Carlin wondering what her life had been like over the last six months. There was no doubt that the woman was radiant and happy to see her. But, one thought lingered in Helen’s mind…Sue.
“Helen you…”
“Carlin I want…”
Both women spoke at the same time. Smiling Helen said, “Please, you first.”
Carlin closed her eyes in an attempt to find some coherent words to say. Her mind was filled with all the wonderful things she had rehearsed to say to Helen when the met. Now, with reality staring her in the face, she didn’t know what to say. Repeatedly she opened her mouth to speak, only to close it when the words wouldn't come.
“You know I won’t bite. Why don’t you just tell me what you want to say.” Helen steadied herself for what she knew was coming. She’s going to tell me that she and Sue are still together and will be forever.
“I…I… You know I had everything I wanted to say to you in my head and now that you are here I can’t seem to find the words.”
Helen reached over and patted her hand. “Just start.”
Nodding her head Carlin began. “I can’t tell you the number of times over the last six weeks that I reached for the phone to call you. The time short time we spent together has made such a profound effect on my life.” Glancing down she saw that Helen’s hand was still on hers. Her eyes returned to focus on Helen’s expressive blue eyes. “I would like to explore the possibly of a relationship with you.”
Helen squeezed Carlin’s hand once again before removing her hand. “What about Sue?”
What followed was a long frank discussion about their lives for the last six months. Each finally admitting that the connection they had felt six months earlier was still there. They agreed to take their time and get to know everything about each other. And, if it was meant to be they would be together.
Standing side by side in an otherwise empty elevator, Carlin took Helen’s hand and looked longingly into her eyes. “This is where it all started,” she said softly before turning and kissing the woman.
As the elevator jerked to a stop their lips parted. What they had experienced in the moment of their first kiss rocked their worlds and their lives would be forever etched by the power of that kiss.
The End
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