Chapter 1

"Noria?"

The cinnamon haired woman raised her head from her book, leaned over in our bed, and touched her warm lips to mine, "Yes, Nési?"

Oh do I love those kisses. I only wish they were really meant for me. "It's Rheda?"

"Oh," she bit her lip. "I still can't tell which one of you is speaking sometimes. Perhaps I should make sure it's her before I do that again."

I sighed to myself. Perhaps you shouldn't. "Lenési just told me that you want to speak with me. She woke me sooner than she and I had agreed upon last night." As Lenési and I had to share the same body, we'd taken to agreeing on a schedule for who would be in control. Lenési or I could assume a passive role 'listening' to what was going on around us, but unable to speak except to each other. One of us could also sleep, with all the benefits and drawbacks of that state. Of course my, or now our, body needed as much rest as it always had and in those times we were both unconscious. So far, Lenési was allowing me more time awake with Noria than she had. Her generosity was surprising, as she and Noria had been apart for over thirty years. I relished those times with Noria, but couldn't help feeling that I was, in some way, intruding on their lives. Lenési never asked me to sleep so they might have some privacy, and even though Lenési didn't seem to mind, sometimes I felt the voyeur in my own body.

"I see," Noria began. "I'd wanted to make sure you were fully rested before we spoke?"

I yawned and stretched. I felt amazingly good - a sure sign that they'd fed last night. "I feel fine. You two hunted last night, didn't you?"

She nodded slowly. "We did. Rheda, are you conscious at all when we hunt? Do you have any memories of what happens?"

I shrugged, "No?well Lenési has me rest while you two hunt. She agreed to spare me the experience. Even now she shields me from those memories. I suppose I could concentrate hard on it, and perhaps remember, but I'd rather not do that. I can't say that I'm eager to really know what it's like."

Noria looked at me seriously. "I understand. We did say that you'd never have to experiences feeding. Still, is there any specific reason that you don't want to gain more of an understanding into being a vampire?"

I blinked hard. I hadn't expected this kind of question. "I uh?well?the idea of drinking someone's blood is?um?" I trailed off and looked away unable to meet her gaze.

"Yes?" she prodded gently.

A slight tremor went through me. "I haven't gotten used to the idea of?" I stammered, "hunting people." I tried to suppress a second shiver, "It's feels?well I'm not certain what to feel about it. In a way it seems rather like a serious crime."

She reached over and stroked my dark hair, running her slender fingers down to my shoulder. "Rheda, do you think our feeding is a crime?"

Is it? Am I taking part in something that should horrify me? Noria was regarding me intently, waiting for an answer. "I don't know."

Noria brushed her fingers across my cheek. "You'd be surprised to know that your answer was just what I was expecting. Rheda, it took me a long time after I was turned to accept what I am." She took my hand and gently squeezed it, "We don't hurt mortals. You must remember that. Would it help if I told you that the Fairy Elf Goddess knows all about us, and allows us to hunt?"

"She really does? I wouldn't have thought that she'd allow it."

Noria continued in a softer voice, "Yes, she does. I think she's sympathetic to our condition, though I admit her reasons are a mystery to all of us. She allows us to hunt her elves though, and that fact should give you some indication that we're not doing anything wrong."

I finally met her gaze again. There was apprehension in her golden eyes. I tried to ignore the glimmer of fear that was slowly invading my thoughts.

"We have a?problem. Last night after we'd hunted, a Vampire Lord named Callamad approached us. He ordered us to appear before their Council five nights from now. You are to be presented to them as a newly turned fledgling vampire."

"I? Don't you mean that you and Lenési would have to appear? I'd be resting, right?"

Noria golden eyes were full of compassion, "No, Rheda, Lenési can't do this."

A sense of dread slowly crept over me. "Why can't she?"

Noria winced slightly and shook her head. "There will be at least five Vampire Lords in attendance, perhaps more. Several of them are Fairy Elves, and at least one has the ability to see a person's aura. Since Nési has a more powerful aura then you do, if she is conscious, they will see her aura, and not yours."

"And this is bad because??"

"Rheda, they know that Lenési died. Even if we could explain our unique situation, they will not allow one who succumbed to madness to live, even if the madness is now gone."

"So you're telling me that I must do this without her? What would I have to do?"

Noria bit her lip, "I should have considered this possibility, and prepared you for it. I'm very sorry that I didn't."

I swallowed hard, "Prepared me for what?"

"There are some tedious ceremonial trappings to this ritual - those are nothing to worry about, but in the end you must demonstrate your ability to control yourself while feeding."

I couldn't have heard her correctly. I thought she said? "Feeding?"

"Yes. You will be required to bite a mortal, and consume a measured amount of their life energy through their blood."

"But?but?you said I'd never have to do that!"

Noria bowed her head, "I didn't think this would happen. This whole ritual is archaic, and they never use it anymore. I believe they are doing it just as a way of questioning my ability to mentor a fledgling vampire, and perhaps as retribution for defying them when Lenési died. They may be looking for some excuse to punish me, or something even worse. If they judge me unfit to mentor a fledgling, they can take you from me."

"There is no way I can avoid this? Are you certain that Lenési can't do it for me?"

"If I was to refuse to present you to them, they would consider me unfit to mentor a fledgling. They would take you from me, by force if necessary. Nési and I talked about this last night. We see no way that she can do this. She must be unconscious - you won't even be able to rely on her for help."

I got up from bed, pulled a robe over my shoulders, and began to pace around the room. "Noria, I don't know if I can do this. I don't want to hurt anybody?"

"Rheda, you won't be hurting anyone. Remember that we don't harm our prey. The only way I can prove that to you is to have you feed. It's vital that you can control yourself while feeding as well. I need to teach you, and for that you need to feed a few times. I know you don't want to do this, but you will only need to practice a few times. After you are presented to them you never have to do it again. Don't let you fear overwhelm you. You need to call upon all of your courage for a few days. I know you can do it - so does Nési. "

I couldn't bring myself to look at her. How did I ever get myself into this? I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. "Are you certain that there is no way out of it?"

"Very certain."

I slowly nodded. If it's only a few times, I can do it can't I? "I guess I don't have a choice."

<><><><>

Throughout the day Lenési and Noria explained the details of feeding and hunting. The more they told me, the more apprehensive I got, but it was only when I was face to face with the woman who was to be my 'prey' that things took a turn for the worse.

Almost everything they'd told me during the day evaporated. I tried to calm my trembling, and concentrate but it was no use. I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do. Noria had brought the woman to our home so I wouldn't actually have to hunt, but I still felt lost. I looked at Noria helplessly and asked, "Okay, what do I do now?"

Noria nodded knowingly, guessing my trouble. "Don't worry, my power is holding her, she will not resist. You'll want to bite the left side of her neck - it's easier then biting the right side. You'll need to wait until you can feel the exact location to bite. You will be able to sense it when you touch her throat. You might be a little alarmed when you bite, the blood will flow very rapidly into your mouth. You need to swallow quickly, but only for about five second, then you must withdraw your fangs. As soon as you do this, her neck will heal. Remember she will not be harmed by the experience. Again, you must stop feeding after about five second."

I timidly regarded the woman. We were nearly the same height. Her hair was shorter and lighter then mine. She had delicate features, quintessentially elvish in form. Noria chose a typical young elf, and as always much prettier than I. She's probably about the same age as I am. She could easily be someone from one of my classes at the university. I swallowed hard and slowly approached her. Her eyes followed my movements, but they had a blank dreamy look about them. Her smile was too fixed; unaware of what I was about to do. This could be me, I realized. I could be the one about to be bitten?unsuspecting of the danger, and about to give up part of my lifeblood to a vampire.

My knees grew weak as I leaned close to her neck. I could feel her pulse even before I touched her. "I'm sorry I have to do this?I won't hurt you?" I breathed softly to her. Why had I said that? She can't even hear me now. I withdrew slightly and looked again at her face. She doesn't have a choice in this. She's an elf. I don't like elves, so why should I really care about her? My previous thought came back to me. She could be me?

I looked over at Noria. She was watching me calmly. "It's okay, you can do it," she encouraged.

I looked back at my would-be prey. I can, but I don't want to. It feels so wrong? I blinked hard at that thought. Noria charmed this woman with her vampire magic, made her come here for me to feed on, and is now holding her spellbound. Noria is forcing this woman to? My brow creased, and I took another step back. I'm supposed to take something from her that I have no right to take - something she'd never agree to if given a choice. It's?it's?like an assault, or theft, or? My body grew very cold. Like rape. I started backing away from her.

"Rheda, what's wrong?" Noria asked in concern. "I know it's scary, but you have to do this. I know you can. The first time is always the scariest for fledgling vampires."

I shook my head. "I can't do it Noria?I?" Panic took hold of me and I turned and ran from the room.

"Rheda! Come back! You can't run away from this!"

I wasn't listening, and blindly ran outside, stopping on the front walk as soon as the coldness of the night surrounded me. I don't want to be a vampire! They promised I wouldn't have to do this? Tears streamed down my face. Why did I ever agree to this? Why was I so naive and stupid? No, it wasn't stupidity at all - it was desperation. I thought this was going to be better then my old life? What was I thinking? I trusted Noria. Was I just so lonely to jump at any chance for companionship? The answer was painfully clear. Yes?I had been. What have I gotten myself into though? Why did I ever think they'd keep their promises to me?

A gentle voice whispered in my mind - it was Lenési. "Rheda, I did indeed promise you that you'd never have to hunt and feed. Though I intended to keep that promise, I honestly thought you would someday come to accept what you have become, and participate in hunting. I never imagined it would happen like this though. I know you are very frightened, but you must try to be calm. You can get through this. You must get through this."

I can't do it Lenési. I can't. You know my thoughts, my feelings? Am I wrong to think the way I do?

In the confines of my mind, Lenési did not respond for a long moment. "There is no easy answer to your question. You see things differently than Noria and I do. I wish I could give you some reassurance that would convince you we're not harming anyone. I wish I could ease your fear. I can't though. Many vampires at one time or another must overcome what you are now feeling. Perhaps, if we had more time to allow you to understand and accept what you are, but?we don't. You will be required to feed on someone four nights from now. If you refuse, they will assign someone else to be your mentor. That person will certainly not be as understanding and loving as Noria. They will force you to feed and will not tolerate disobedience. We will both lose Noria forever, and you will lose a very special part of yourself as well."

Don't you understand that everything that I am tells me this is wrong?

Lenési's voice was full of regret. "Yes, my gentle Rheda, I do?"

Lenési's thoughts were cut off by Noria approaching. "Rheda, please come back inside so we can at least talk about this. I know this is very hard for you, but we have to find some way to get you through this ordeal."

I nodded numbly and followed her back into her home. She guided me into the living room. Did I really have any choice at all? How can anyone force me to do this? How could Noria?

"Please?will you sit with me so we can talk?" Noria asked gently, patting the sofa as she sat.

I sighed heavily and dropped onto the couch next to her.

"Can you at least tell me what you're feeling?"

I turned away from her and whispered, "Does it even matter what I think and feel? Right now I feel betrayed."

Noria put her arms around me. "Of course it matters! I know you feel like I betrayed you. I didn't though, I truly never thought this could happen."

"No, Noria, I'm the one who never thought. I LET myself fall into this nightmare." How can I explain it to her? She won't understand any more then Lenési does.

"Rheda," Lenési asked in my mind, "may I speak to Noria? I think I can explain it to her?"

"Go ahead," I mumbled, taking a passive roll in my own body. Even though we did this several times a day, I was still getting used to hearing myself speak someone else's thoughts.

"Ori, it's Nési now."

Noria's face brightened, "Nési, can you make her understand how important this is? If she doesn't do this, I'll lose you again! They may even execute you."

"Ori," Lenési began slowly, "she understands, but even so we can't force her do this. Though she agreed to share her body with me, we both promised her that she'd never have to hunt or feed. In a sense she never truly gave her full consent to become a vampire."

Noria slowly shook her head, her frustration building. "I know that! Do you think I like breaking my promise to her? We don't have a choice though. She has to do it!"

"She wont do it, and I will not attempt to convince her again. Her feelings cannot be ignored, nor can our promises to her. I will not allow you to force her to do this."

Noria's eyes narrowed, "Nési, I wouldn't? What are you saying?"

"You forget, my love, that I spent the better part of three centuries with you. I remember every time you worked magic that wasn't quite drawn from your powers of vampirism. You never told me exactly what your other abilities are, but I saw them enough times to have a pretty good idea. I know you could compel Rheda to follow your wishes. I'm telling you that I will not allow that to happen."

Noria expression turned angry. "You can't expect me to stand by while some Vampire Lord takes you from me!"

There was no trace of anger in Lenési's voice, as she calmly replied, "No, I don't, and if I were truly a fledgling vampire I'd have no say in this at all. I'm no fledging though, and you are not my master. This is a decision for Rheda and I to make, and she has already made her feelings very clear to me. WE choose not to appear before the Vampire Lords Council."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Lenési was agreeing with me? She was supporting my feelings?

"But?you?" Noria sputtered, "How do you think we'll get away with that?"

"You know," Lenési began thoughtfully, "There was a time when nothing in the world frightened you. It was part of why I fell in love with you oh-so-many years ago. Together we boldly believed that we controlled our destiny, and we would bow to no master. That was how we lived our lives together. I'm wondering where that courageous woman I fell in love with went."

Noria recoiled from Lenési words. Her eyes filled with pain when she responded sharply, "Where did she go? She died thirty years ago when she had to kill her own wife!"

"You're not going to lose me again, Ori. I know you're terrified of that, and would do anything to prevent it, but you have to get past that fear. We must not betray our promise to Rheda. She is trying mightily to adapt to her new life, but you can't really expect her to embrace the entire scope of vampirism in only a few short weeks. Most fledglings have been brought into the fold only after many months or years of preparation. She had only a few minutes to make her decision. In her choosing to let me live again, she gave you and I a tremendous gift. She took on a huge burden though, but she's handled it well. You and I both know that if she'd had fuller understanding of what our lives are like, she would have never agreed to share her body with me. This very brave woman made a remarkable sacrifice for us both, and because of that, you and I have an obligation to make similar demands of ourselves as well. Something that you must do is to remember who you once were. Rheda and I will not submit to the Lords who have ordered us to appear before them. We never should have even considered following their commands. Thirty years ago we wouldn't have, and I'm not about to start now. I don't care if we have to flee, fight, or hide. My love, is there enough left of you that is Ooi'a'noia? Am I the only one who remembers that you took that name because it meant unbound warrior? Is my warrior still in there?"

Noria stood, walked to the window, and gazed out into the darkness. "Rheda," she began in a slow, heavy voice, "Do you understand what Lenési wants to do? If we run, they will come after us. We could be forced to fight, and to kill. You balked at feeding a short time ago even though that woman wouldn't have been harmed. Do you think you'd be able to kill someone?"

Lenési's voice turned inward for a moment, only heard by myself. "Rheda, answer how you truly feel. Remember though, that those who come after us will do so with the idea causing us great harm or death."

Lenési's thoughts faded into the background, and I was again in control of my body. The answer to Noria's question was remarkably easy. "Noria, I would be willing to fight to defend myself."

Noria's whirled and fixed me with her penetrating gaze, "And kill?" She asked harshly.

"Yes."

"Why?" she demanded.

"Do you mean why could I fight and kill, and not feed on someone? Noria, those are two different things. If someone attacks me, I'll defend myself. I'll not harm an innocent person though."

"Harm?" Noria's fists clenched in exasperation, "We don't harm the people we feed on! You must understand that!"

"That's not the way I see it."

"Rheda, did I harm you when I bit you?"

Somehow I knew she'd ask me that. "No?I?suppose not. That was different though! I already knew what you are, and I was encouraging you to bite me.

"But you didn't know what I was! You didn't yet believe."

"You tried to tell me though. Do you tell you prey that you're a vampire?"

"Of course not! You know we can't reveal ourselves."

"So they don't have a choice like I did. You attack them and take something they'd never give you if they had a choice. You even told me that you enjoy it."

Noria shoulders slumped. "You don't understand us at all. We don't have a choice. We must hunt or we'll die. So do you, even if Nési takes control when you need to hunt. How can I make you understand that we're not doing something wrong?"

"You can't."

"I could," she sighed, "but Nési won't let me."

"Those 'special powers' that she spoke about?"

She didn't respond, and turned away to stare into the fire. Long minutes passed before she replied in a voice deepened with fatigue, "Rheda, I wish things were different. I didn't ask to become a vampire. I never had the choice you did. I don't hunt often, I never harm the people I feed on, and I always make certain they've suffered no ill effects from my bite. I'm very gentle when I feed. If you think that makes me a monster, then how do you feel about sharing your body with someone just like me?"

I unconsciously shivered at the question. Lenési's voice was soft in my mind, "Rheda, it's a good question. You can feel my thoughts, and easily see into my heart. I know you've embraced my emotions and are happy to be a part of the love that Ori and I have. In some ways you know me far better then she ever can. I can't truly hide anything from you, even if I wanted to. After everything you've seen of me do you really think I'm something evil?"

No, Lenési! That doesn't mean that I have to like some of the things that you do though. This works both ways you know. You can see into my heart as well, so you know why I feel the way I do.

"Indeed I do, but the thoughts sometimes need to be let out."

Does all this mean that you think I should participate in this?ritual that the Vampire Lord commanded?

"No. You and I already decided not to follow their orders. You need to resolve these other conflicts though. The turmoil in your heart is growing, and if you don't work through it the union that you and I have will be in jeopardy."

What do you mean?

"Rheda, I once succumbed to madness. No Vampire knows what causes it, but great emotional distress is thought to be a contributing factor."

You're saying that I could bring about a return of?um?your madness?

"I'm saying it's possible. And it won't be mine alone this time. It would affect us both, though I'm uncertain what the results would be.

"Hello?" Noria waved her hand in from of my face. I hadn't noticed her sitting next to me again. "Rheda, Nési?anybody in there?"

My lips curved upward into a faint smile. "We're here. We were just having a discussion about?well?what I think about you two."

"And? What did you decide?" she asked gently

"We?I decided that?I both love and hate what I've become, and that may not be a good thing." I shook my head. "I've never been very good with complicated issues, and this is about as complicated as it gets. You've been so nice to me, and Lenési - I can see into her soul. I don't see any monster there. It is okay if I say that I don't like what you do as a vampire, but I like everything else about you?"

Noria's arms encircled me, and she kissed me on the forehead. "My gentle friend, for me that's enough?for now."

Tension drained from my body, and inwardly I could feel Lenési's support. "Now what do we do?"

"We run, Rheda. And hope they don't find us."


Continued...