Content Warning: I really don't think that one is necessary. Yes, two women are in love in this story but nothing major. It's more mentioned than anything.

Personal: I want to say thanks to those who have supported me through all this. I want to actually apologize to my sister for ignoring her while writing this when she wanted to talk to me about her current boyfriend I didn't listen as closely as I should have. I actually think I told her to stay with that guy, and that was a mistake. I feel that my sisterly duties were left undone. So, I'm sorry.

Please send your comments to xengab01@aol.com. And as always, Enjoy!

As soon as Audrey and I entered her apartment she demanded answers. Well, I didn't have the answers to anything at the moment all I knew was what had transpired in the last few hours of my life. I could tell her what I had been told, but I didn't want to repeat any of it. I just wanted to sleep and try to make this day go away.

Audrey still wanted answers though and as far as I was concerned she deserved them. Dana had also caused the death of her father not just mine. I sat Audrey down at the table and told her everything. As I talked I kept my thoughts and emotions focused on something else so I wouldn't fall apart emotionally yet again.

When I finished telling Audrey everything she was absolutely livid. I was half convinced that she was going to actually try and cause Dana and Sam physical harm. I'm certain that she at least put every negative term possible in front of Dana and Sam's names.

I didn't try to calm her down any, because frankly I agreed with her. She was acting out the emotions that I now felt. Audrey did eventually calm down and we were able to have a conversation about what to do next.

This is where Audrey really surprised me.

"Tori, how do you feel about all this?" Audrey bent down and looked me directly into the eyes.

"Dre I don't know how I feel about this." I let out a long exasperated breath. "I hate them. I love them. I feel like my life for the past five years has been this big lie, but how do you fake the love that they showed me?" I buried my face into my hands. "I just don't know."

"Are you going to ever talk to them again?" Audrey's hand rested on my knee. I could feel her warmth and it was something that I realized I really needed.

"I don't really want to talk about this anymore. Can we just talk about it tomorrow?" I took her hand in mine and pleaded my case to her eyes.

"Why don't you just go take a shower and go to bed? We can talk tomorrow." Audrey stood and I got up to walk away but before I made it to the bathroom door she called out to me. "Tori do me a favor and remember something?"

I looked at her not expecting the next words she spoke, "Remember that we all make mistakes and remember that you love them Tori. Remember that you are now dealing with your mothers, not just two women you happen to know. I'll support you in what ever decision you make, but remember that because you love them what ever you decide to do affects you as much as it does them."

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. I thought about what she had said and although I didn't fully understand I knew that it was an important subject to think about. "Okay." I then turned and entered the bathroom.

I took a long hot shower and tried to wash away how I felt. Needless to say, it didn't work. I felt a little better after the shower, but I didn't feel significantly better. I figured that I wouldn't feel significantly better for sometime.

The next morning I woke up and was sore beyond belief. My muscles were tense and I still felt very emotionally drained. It was as if I hadn't slept at all, and to be honest I practically didn't. My thoughts were too preoccupied on the nights past events. In my mind's eye I kept on seeing the accident that had taken my parents' life and I kept on seeing Dana behind the wheel of the car that forced the limo off the road.

I had to ask myself questions that I wasn't fully prepared to answer. I had to ask myself how I felt about the entire situation. I had to ask myself how I felt about Dana and Sam. How did I feel about them before and how do I feel about them now? Most importantly I had to ask myself it I could continue to keep 'the secret'.

Dana and Sam for five years had been walking around knowing who was responsible for the accident and decided to remain silent about it. I had to wonder if I was prepared to do the same. Could I remain mute about my parents' death as they had? Was my love strong enough to do that?

Sam and Dana loved each other and Sam loved Dana so much that she had kept this secret from the world and me. Sam had seen a soul worth salvaging and had given Dana another chance. She played her role as judge, jury, and executioner; and Sam had decided to be lenient and merciful. But of course it wasn't her parents that had died, was it?

Thinking along these lines eventually led me to my next real question. Who were really in my mind my parents? Was it Mother and Father or was it Dana and Sam? Was it the people who saw me as a possession or was it the people who saw me as their daughter, Tori?

Well there was no comparison. Dana and Sam were my parents. They became my parents when they showed me what loving family meant. They became my parents when they showed more interest in me in the first few weeks that they knew me than my parents had the first twelve years of my life. No comparison what so ever could be made.

So, when I woke up that morning sore and aching the only comfort I really wanted was from my mommies. I wanted to be held and told that everything was going to be okay and we'd get through all the pain together as a family. Just like we had all the times before. We would sit down and discuss everything then hugs would go around and all would be forgiven and forgotten. Sure, I would still have issues to work through but I would work on them with Dana and Sam.

I got up from the bed and picked up the phone intent on calling my parents happy that I had made a decision, but I never dialed the number. There was a flaw in my plan. I never thought that I would think twice. When that second thought rolled around in my head I hated Sam and Dana all over again. I thought myself to be foolish to be crawling back to them when it was them who should be crawling back to me, because if they loved me they would do anything in their power to get me back. If they wanted to have my forgiveness then they should earn it. They had me living in this big lie. What they had done to me was wrong.

"Remember that because you love them what ever you do decide to do affects you as much as it does them." That was Audrey's warning to me the previous night. How soon we forget.

For a month I didn't call, see or contact Dana or Sam. I went on with my life and lived with Audrey. I continued to see Richard, my boyfriend but didn't tell him anything. He knew something was wrong with me and when he asked about it I just told him that I was now living with my sister. No further explanation was necessary.

Audrey just sat back and let me make my own decisions like she said she would. In my subconscious I wanted her to tell me what to do so I wouldn't have to deal with any of it anymore, but she wouldn't. Audrey let me feel what I was going to feel and do what I was going to do. She wouldn't make decisions for me and wouldn't tell me her opinion, afraid that it might influence me. I probably owe her the world for that.

I tried not to dwell on that emptiness in my heart that didn't seem to go away and instead focused on school. I put all my attentions into my relationship with Richard and school. I made sure there was no time for me to think about the fact that Dana and Sam weren't a part of my life.

That tactic didn't work. Richard eventually sat me down and told me that I was smothering him and my teachers told me there was absolutely no more work I could do. By remaining busy I didn't have the time to think about Dana and Sam, but since I wasn't busy anymore I was able to think about them all the time. That hole in my heart just kept on getting bigger.

I finally gave into my emotions to see them again and decided to go to the hospital where they each worked to just see them. I wasn't going to talk to them I was just going to see them. When I went to the hospital where I had spent almost a year in recovering after the accident, a flood of memories hit me. Mostly they were of Sam and Dana caring for me, bringing me food after their shifts, tucking me in at night, being a parent to me; and that hole in my heart grew just a little bit bigger.

I walked around the hospital; it hadn't much changed since last I was there. Most of the staff that had worked in the hospital during my stay recognized me. They would stop me and say hello and ask about my life. They genuinely cared about how I turned out. They wanted me to be successful and wished me good luck in the future. I had to promise most of them to come back and visit with them, my extended family.

I made my way to the hospital cafeteria no longer really searching for Dana or Sam but searching for proof that the last five years of my life had indeed not been a lie. I searched for proof that Sam and Dana had actually loved me and cared about my future. As I entered the cafeteria two very familiar faces were exiting, except they didn't look as lively as they often were. Sam's radiant emerald eyes now were dull; Dana's focused blue had now become distant. Both their faces looked tired and aged.

When they both saw me they blinked almost to make sure that I was really there. I could see in their faces the undisguised joy when they realized I was indeed there. They didn't reach out to me and didn't speak. I think they were afraid of how I might react.

We stood at the entrance to the cafeteria staring at each other for what seemed an eternity. Then, I broke the spell by saying what I had wanted to say for over a month. "I want to come home."

Dana and Sam burst into tears and they each grabbed firmly to my body. I didn't fight them. I wanted to be held. I didn't care that we were being watched by a bunch of absolute strangers, I wanted my mommies. Even at the ripe old age of sixteen I wanted to be held by my mommies, because only their love would make my pain go away.

We did eventually make it out of the hospital cafeteria and went to Dana's office. There we sat down and just stared at each other. The next few moves would be extremely important for how our relationship would proceed.

"There's more that we need to talk about." I decided that I should start out the conversation because I obviously was the one in charge of the situation. "I want you to know most importantly that I do want to go home and I love you both very much."

"We love you too sweetie and believe me when I say we want you to come back home." Sam took a chance and laid her hand on top of mine. I looked up to her and clasp her hand firmly. I couldn't turn away Sam's warmth. I had been craving it for over a month.

"What is it you want to talk about?" Dana I know was happy to see me, but I could also see that she was trying to keep her distance. For some reason it seemed that she didn't want to be that close to me. She stood in the corner of her office and just looked at Sam and me.

I didn't know it then but now looking at everything hindsight Dana was putting up a shield. She was protecting herself from being hurt again by me. I could see in her eyes that she wanted to run over to where I sat and gather me up in a hug. I could see that she craved to have the family back. I didn't know then that she had never had that. I didn't know then that when we started off being a family that it we were both amateurs, we were both taking a chance.

I cleared my throat and captured Dana's eyes I needed to look at her when I answered her question. "All I want to know is that you became my family because you wanted to, not because you felt sorry for a small kid whose parents died. I just want to know that you love me because you want to, not because you think you're obligated to."

Dana walked over and knelt down so she could look into my eyes. The look on her face was focused and serious. "When you were first in the hospital I couldn't bring myself to see you. I was afraid to look at you and face what I had done, but Sam kept on telling me what a wonderful person you were. She kept on telling me that I needed to meet you." One lonely tear ran it's way down Dana's face. "I was dead against meeting you, but one day I found myself sitting in your room asking you to tell me about yourself and I fell in love. You seemed to fill such a special place in my heart that it seemed Sam could only be allowed in to.

"I wasn't prepared for that. Within that first week I met you, you and Sam had become my family. It wasn't my guilt that made me love you Tori, it was my heart that just couldn't stand not to." Dana's blue eyes never left mine. I could see how the words she spoke came from her heart.

I could think of nothing to say in response so instead I stood up and took Dana's and Sam's hand and said, "That's all I wanted to know. Let's go home." Then led us out of the office.

Life didn't return to normal after this whole ordeal, it got better. Everything was out in the open and nothing was being held in anymore. I didn't carry any animosity towards Dana because I loved her too much to do that. If I continued to hate her it would just tare me up inside.

I worked everything out with Sam too. I felt betrayed by her at first but I understood where she was coming from. It wasn't her place to tell me. I really respected her for keeping to her convictions and standing by Dana even though I knew that it must have really hurt her to do so.

Audrey was right about my actions. What ever I decided to do affected me as much as it did them. I wonder when she got so smart. After everything was said and done she did tell me that she thought I made the right decision. She said that Sam and Dana were too much an important part of my life for me to turn away from them. When I asked Audrey if she was upset by what they had done she just told me that it hurt her more to see me hurt then it did knowing Dana was responsible for father's accident. I don't know what I've done to deserve such a great sister but I'm not going to question it. I'm just going to love her while I still can and be happy that she's in my life.

Anyway, life went on like it usually does and I went along with it. When things settled down, Dana and Sam finally got the chance to meet Richard. I invited Richard to come over and made sure that he was well prepared. I knew that Sam would be nice and wouldn't do anything, but Dana worried me. I thought she would take out a shotgun or something and have it lying across her lap while she talked to him, and I knew she would have done it with Sam's blessing. I just hoped that they wouldn't go too far and make Richard run for the door without once looking back. This was my first boyfriend that I introduced to Sam and Dana and I wanted it to go as smoothly as possible with a minimum amount of bloodshed.

When Richard came over for dinner I wanted to be the one to answer the door, but Dana's quick and she got to the door first. She opened the door, minus a shotgun, and Richard's mouth fell open and eyes grew at least two times wider. Dana raised an eyebrow at him and Richard quickly composed himself. He wiped his hand on his khaki pants and held it out to Dana. "Hi, I'm Richard."

Dana took his hand and motioned for him to come inside. I quickly made my way to the door and greeted Richard. Richard had dark skin and very open brown eyes. He was a very sweet guy who was very bashful and shy which was a big contradiction to his size. He was easily two inches taller than I was and was physically built yet I don't think he could even kill a fly without regretting it. He certainly wasn't the type of person that could go up against Dana one on one.

Sam came in from the kitchen and looked up to Richard than took a quick look at Dana. She shook her head briefly than outstretched her hand to Richard. "You must be Richard. I'm Sam" Richard took Sam's hand and nodded at her.

We all stood by the door for a few minutes more until I decided to break the silence that had fallen. "Why don't we go sit down or something?"

I led Richard to the living room and Dana and Sam followed. After we had all taken a seat the silence didn't break. I looked at Sam for help. "So how is it that you two met?" Thank you Sam.

"Uh… we um…" Richard had seemed to lose his voice. I think he was just too busy staring at the two women that sat across from us. I gave him a quick nudge in the ribs and he snapped out of his stupor. "We met at the auditorium downtown one weekend when the city orchestra was playing there."

"Do you play with the orchestra?" At least Sam was keeping up the conversation all Dana was doing was staring at him.

"No actually I was at the auditorium doing community service." That certainly got Dana's attention.

"Community Service?"

Richard seemed to be taken off guard by Dana's deep voice. He looked at her like a foreign object for a moment than I guess he realized that he had been asked a question. "I work with a volunteer organization with my school and we were helping set up the auditorium for the concert."

That seemed like a good enough answer for Dana because she shook her head then leaned back into the sofa where she sat.

"I better go check on dinner." Sam got up and left for the kitchen. I just hoped that the conversation didn't leave with her.

"Tori said that you're a surgeon. What hospital do you work at?" I think Richard had broken out of his little shell.

"I work for Baylor." Dana at least could have added a little something.

"Really? My mom works for the Baylor burn unit, her names Linda Young, you know her?"

"Your Linda's son?" Dana seemed to actually take interest in the conversation now.

"Yeah. Wait, Dr. Everett?" Sudden recognition covered Richard's features. "I remember you. You're the one that always used to scare the other doctors."

Dana looked at him for a moment than went into a fit of laughter. "I remember you. You're the kid that always followed me around."

"You knew about that?" Richard's face turned red. He looked so cute.

"I knew." Dana just smiled at him.

Then Richard turned to me. "I was just a kid and she was the most interesting person in the hospital. Not like all the old men that ran it." He let off a small chuckle.

"Yeah, you always asked about the Marcus girl." Dana pointed to me when she said this.

Richards face got redder and I just looked at him waiting for some response. "I saw you in the hospital when I was younger, and I kind of had a little bit of a… just a small crush on you." He rushed it out.

"Dinner's ready." Sam saved Richard from any comment that I might have made. I wouldn't have said anything bad. I just thought that it was too cute. I thought that I had seen him before I just couldn't place the face.

The rest of the dinner went off without a hitch and Dana never pulled out a shotgun. Sam and Richard seemed to get along very well. They were able to hold up a conversation about some book or something. It wasn't something that really interested me. I was very pleased that Dana and Sam approved of Richard. It would have been a very unfortunate thing if they didn't because I'm still seeing him to this day.

After the initial meeting the ones that followed seemed to get better. Richard slowly became a part of the family and he even got the chance to meet Audrey. To my utter surprise, she was worse to him when they first met then Dana was. Audrey truly showed her bigger sister protective side. I wasn't sure if Richard was going to make it through Audrey's scrutiny, but he did and after that Audrey accepted him as a part of my life. I couldn't wait until she got a boyfriend so I could return the favor.

Life was moving along nicely and summer came and went and I entered into my junior year of high school. When I first started school I was offered a few scholarships for basketball and even a few for academics. Sam and Dana were very proud of me. I was pretty proud of myself too.

For once maybe in my entire life I had a year where nothing extremely significant happened. I was able to go through life without emotional turmoil. My junior year, life was good to me. The family was happy and Audrey was doing really well in medical school. She even visited more often. At first she said it was to be with me, but I sort of figured out that she had an ulterior motive when she pulled out all her books and papers and started asking Sam and Dana for help. I didn't mind though, because I wanted Audrey to succeed and there really is no better way to succeed than asking for help when you need it.

Then, my senior year happened and we reach the point in my tale where events turn a little more recent. When I entered my senior year I was excited about my future and looking forward to going away to college. Sure, it would be hard to leave my family but I wanted that freedom of college just like every other young adult does. I wanted to break away.

Then, unexpectedly my world got put into this spiral. Unfortunately I never saw it coming and neither did anyone else. I couldn't really prepare because what happened was a sequence of events that no one could predict.

I was out late one night and went to a party with one of my friends. Just like most parties that are thrown by adolescents there were drugs and alcohol. There was also dancing and laughing and people having a good time. Me included. I didn't drink because I knew better and drinking never appealed to me, but I didn't stop my friends from drinking.

It was a night just to be weekend fun, but instead turned into a horrid nightmare. My friends and I left the party and I hopped right into a car with my friends who told me, "Yeah, I can drive." Yes, I know it's stupid that I listened to them and even more stupid I got in the car with them.

If you were thinking that we got in a car accident than you would be right. We got in an accident and two of my friends of the four that were in the car lost their lives. Unlike the car accident that took my parents' lives I remember this one. I remember yelling at Katie who was driving the car to slow down. I remember the sound of the metal crushing when we ran into a semi. I remember everything.

It wasn't a very fun experience. Katie lost control of the car and ran into a semi, the semi in turn ran into a mini van that had a family in it. By a miracle the family in the van survived, and by a miracle I did. I was in the back seat and I was hardly touched. The only injuries that I received was a concussion, my kneecap was crushed and a few scraps and bruises.

When I looked in the front of the car I could see Katie not moving and blood everywhere. I then looked over to the passenger seat and Heather wasn't moving either. Then I looked to my right and next to me Linda was moaning, but most importantly she was alive. I called out to her and she started to cry and was screaming out my name asking me to help her. Asking me to take away her pain. I could do nothing.

To my left sat Beth. She was unconscious but I could at least tell that she was breathing. Outside of the car was a bunch of people some were just staring watching the scene as if they were sitting on their couch at home watching a show on TV. Then, there were those people that were outside of the car calling out to us making sure that we were okay.

I answered the voices outside telling them that Heather and Katie weren't breathing. I yelled to them that they needed help. I told them that I couldn't get out of the car because my legs were stuck. They yelled at me to keep calm. Surprisingly I was calm. I didn't panic and start freaking like Linda had done. I just thought about getting out of the car.

The paramedics came and the fire trucks and there were lights flashing all over the place. I felt like I was being swallowed in a sea of red and blue. The paramedics took Heather and Katie out of the car first. Katie was careflighted away and Heather was put into a body bag.

I watched all these events transpire with an emotional numbness, and then I received a phone call. I had forgotten about the cell phone that rested on my hip. Dana and Sam deemed one necessity. Anytime I went out I had to have my cell phone with me and turned on.

I looked down to the ringing phone and opened it up. The phone lit up in its green tint and I glanced at the time it displayed. It was one thirty in the morning; Sam and Dana had been expecting me at twelve. I put the receiver to my ear and made an attempt to say hello, but my mouth was incredibly dry and I found it hard to keep conscious. My knee and head really hurt. I cleared my throat once and made another attempt.

"Hello?"

"Tori where are you?" Sam's voice answered me.

I looked around me and saw that a fireman was now outside the door reaching out to me. They had already gotten Beth and Linda out. I was next.

"Tori?" I could here panic in Sam's voice. I wanted to tell her that I was fine and nothing was wrong but I couldn't make out the words. The fireman reached out to me and took the phone from my hands. He put the phone to his ears. "May I ask who this is?" The fireman shook his head once and walked away from me. A paramedic came and she strapped me all up and took me out of the car.

I started to black out and barely remember the fireman that had taken my phone come back up to me. He put the phone on the stretcher. It was turned off. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. "Your parents are on their way to the hospital we're taking you to…"

That's all I remember. I blacked out after that and woke up in a hospital bed with Dana and Sam keeping vigil close by. They were both leaning on each other and looking down at me. I could also see Audrey next to the window looking out.

"Wh…" I tried to sit up but Sam put her hand gently on my shoulder and pushed me back down. "Shh… don't speak. Everything's fine. You have a concussion."

I nodded my head and tried to clear all the fuzziness away. My head and knee hurt like crazy, so much that I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. I focused my efforts to think on something else and immediately thought about my friends that were in the car with me. "Friends?" I had to ask about them.

Dana put her hand on my forehead and rubbed my hair back. "Later." I wanted to know now, but I didn't have the strength to fight. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep instead.

The next day Dana and Sam told me that Heather and Katie were dead and Beth and Linda were fine. Linda was actually better off than I was and was released from the hospital last night. She came to see me and told me that she was so sorry that she had drank at the party and she would never do anything like it again. I didn't know what to tell her so I just said that it was probably a good idea. Linda then asked me why I didn't drink and I just told her that it wasn't something I ever wanted to do.

One thing that surprised me though was that Sam and Dana never once asked me about what had happened to cause the accident. They just sat and waited for me to tell them the story about what happened. When I did tell them the story they didn't judge me, they just said that if I were put in that situation again I would know the consequences of letting friends drive that had been drinking. They never once asked me if I had been drinking. I told them of course that I hadn't and I could tell they were proud of me for that. I was proud of me for that.

Dana and Sam gave me a run down of the damage that had been inflicted to my body. They told me as they had before that I had a concussion, but they also told me that my kneecap was shattered and I had gotten extensive surgery on it. I was expected to make a full recovery that would probably take close to six months. What they didn't day, but my doctor did was that my basketball career could be considered over. I could still do sports I just couldn't do them as intensely as I had been doing prior to the wreck.

Needless to say that made me very unhappy, but I knew that with the support of my family I would be able to get past this trial in my life. Just like I had with all the other events in my life.

I did get past it. I went to physical therapy and built my knee back up and moved on with my life. I took things day-by-day and moment-by-moment. I made a full recovery and owe my success partly to the support I had from family and friends.

Richard was extra supportive and stood by me even though he would sometimes be the target of my frustrations. He just made me fall in love with him that much more. He even went to my therapy with me and missed out on a lot of events in his life to be by my side. He really impressed Dana and Audrey with his devotion to me, but I have a feeling Sam didn't expect anything less from him.

Now, that was the beginning of my spiral. I hope you didn't think that was the only thing that happened because it wasn't. I said that it was a spiral but not all things that happened were bad. Good things can sneak up on you too.

The good event was Dana's and Sam's little surprise. They sat me down at the couch one day, maybe a week after I got out of the hospital, and proceeded to tell me that they had decided to have a baby. Of all the things in the world, I wasn't expecting that. Don't get me wrong I wasn't against it; like I said it was a good event, but it still surprised me.

Once the initial shock wore off I was very excited. I couldn't wait to become an older sister and become a role model like Audrey had always been for me. Apparently Sam and Dana had been thinking about this for a while. They had everything planned out. Sam would be the one to carry the baby and of course it would be done through artificial insemination. I was just going along for the ride. It was a wild ride too.

When Dana and Sam were picking the donor I thought that they were going to go crazy. They wanted to find a person who looked relatively like Dana. For me it was hilarious. They would choose a donor and make a final decision then at the last minute Sam or Dana or both of them would change their mind.

Eventually they did decide on a donor and within a few weeks there was a little baby growing inside of Sam. When Sam first told Dana that she was pregnant Dana was so happy and got this glint in her eye. That night she treated us all to a wonderful dinner and immediately started to treat Sam like she was a delicate piece of glass that could shatter at any moment. Sam wouldn't have any of that of course, and instantly put a stop to it.

Sam is still pregnant and looks as if she is about to explode. She just took her maternity leave. Now she spends a lot of time at home nesting. I love her to death, but she is starting to annoy me just a little. She can have some very irritating mood swings. I'm just really glad that I spend my days at school away from being exposed to her volatile moods. I leave Dana to deal with Sam. Don't get me wrong I am there for support whenever any of them need me, but only when they really need me.

Hey you know what? We've reached the current part of my life and there is only one more event that I think you should know about. Through all the time I lived with Dana and Sam I wasn't in the media. I was kept safely away from the thousands of cameras that had previously been a part of my everyday life. Unfortunately, that has changed.

Tomorrow is my eighteenth birthday and if you remember my eighteenth birthday is when I get all the money that has always been attached to me no matter where I was. I finally get to live the life that I was supposed to live with my parents. The media has taken a renewed interest in me. I have all the sudden been thrown back into the world's eye and I wanted to write this to get a grip of who I am now.

I'm not the twelve-year-old girl who came into Baylor hospital from a car accident. I'm not some rich snob whose parents were famous. I don't know what I'm going to do with the money I have coming my way. I don't know how to deal with the media. I do know however, that at seventeen years old and quickly approaching eighteen, I'm just a kid, nothing more and certainly nothing less.

I have some people to thank for that and at the top of my list are Dana and Sam. If they had never been there protecting me while I was at the hospital and all the years following, I have no clue what kind of person I would be right now. I also owe Audrey her well-deserved credit for what she has done for me. Without her in my life I know that I wouldn't have been able to remain grounded. She always, even to this day, reminds me that I am just a person out of billions and although special in my own right, I'm not the only person walking the earth. Next on my list would be Lauren. She was a great person that God took from this earth a little too early. Auntie L will always be in my heart and thoughts.

Then, last on my list, I realize would have to be my parents. I've maintained throughout this entire recount of my life that I loved them I just didn't like them. Well, I liked them too. I think that some part of me is still upset that they left me alone to deal with the lives and legends that they had created. They weren't there for me most of the time. They didn't profess their love for me at every opportunity, and they didn't give me great advice or play with me as a child; but the legends each one left behind were of good people. People that taught me what pride was and gave me a sense of responsibility to remember where I come from.

America liked my parents because they were good people. Maybe not to me but they were good people. They created organizations that helped the sick and the poor. My father rebuilt his old neighborhood when he got rich enough to. They each gave back to the public that adored them; and now this media that had helped create them were now asking me to tare them down simply by asking me to tell the truth. They want me to give an interview about who Victorianna Ann Marcus is. They want to know how the famous Marcus girl turned out without the guidance of her parents.

They are giving me a chance to tell everyone what I have gone through in my life just like I have here. I talked to Dana about it and she just told me to do whatever I wanted to and to not let anyone push me into anything, but no matter what she and Sam would support me. That advice wasn't much help. I asked Sam for help and she told me that it was my decision and I should do what I wanted, but to remember that every decision had a consequence that I should consider carefully. Again, not much help.

So like I said I'm writing this to get a grip of who I am now. I've gone through a lot in my short life and I know that I have much to look forward to. I have college staring me in the face and because I worked hard in school I can basically go almost anywhere I want to. I look forward to the birth of a little brother or sister. (I chose not to know the gender, I want to be surprised.) I'm looking forward to life in general.

I've been dating Richard for almost three years now and I really love him. I don't know where the relationship is going to lead or if it will last through my college years, but I look forward to everyday I can be there with him. You can call it teenage love or whatever, but it's still something that is significant in my life.

So I continue to ask the question of 'Who am I?' I am a daughter of not only two famous people I am also the daughter of two wonderful doctors. I am a sister to a dedicated young woman who has accomplished much in her life and the future just looks more promising. I'm an adopted niece of a woman who died of cancer early in my life but had a profound impact on it nonetheless. I am a girlfriend to a wonderful guy who's had a crush on me ever since he saw me in the hospital when I was twelve. I am Victorianna Elizabeth Ann Marcus, America's orphan, but I am also just Tori a young kid.

Have you ever heard that song by Jewel called "I'm Sensitive"? It goes something like this…

I was thinking that I might fly today

Just to disprove all things that you say

It doesn't take a talent to be mean

Your words can crush things that are unseen

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive

And I'd like to stay that way

You always tell me that's its impossible

To be respected and be a girl

Why's it gotta be so complicated?

Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive

And I'd like to stay that way

I was thinking that it might do some good

If we robbed the cynics and took all their food

That way what they believe will have taken place

And we can give it to people who have some faith

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive

And I'd like to stay that way

I have this theory that if we're told we're bad

Then that's the only idea we'll ever have

But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty

Someday we will become what we see

'Cause anyone can start a conflict

it's harder yet to disregard it

I'd rather see the world from another angle

We are everyday angels

Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way

That song seems to represent who I am and who I want to be forever. I'm a tall blue eyed, dark skinned, curly haired, sensitive kid. That through out everything I've been through holds this ideology about life that I would like to keep forever. I don't know if the money will make a difference and I'm sure it won't as long as Sam and Dana and Audrey and Richard are with me to keep me in line. I'm about to graduate from high school and move on with my life. I'm about to become an adult.

Let me tell you who I am. I am me. I am who I want to be. What has happened in my life, maybe because of it or maybe despite it, I am who I want to be. In the future I'll change I'm sure, but I always want to have that part of me that is the idealistic, sensitive, kid. It's an important part to the whole.

Will I do those TV interviews? You know what? I don't know. Someone told me that it would inspire people who have lost their parents. Some have told me that it's just a damn good story to tell. I don't know about any of that, what I do know is it's all mine and mine alone. This wasn't about Dana or Sam. This wasn't about my parents, and it wasn't about their death. It wasn't about Audrey or Lauren. It's definitely not about Richard. And I don't think it's really about me either. It's about everything, the small things and the big things about life. It's about love and pain. It's about being human no matter where you're from.

Well I better stop writing this. I have some important decisions to make.

Yes, this really is the end. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it.

Eveh.