Part 10
Aquarius
Andy fell asleep on top of the covers of her bed, so it was no surprise that she woke up atop of them as well. What surprised Andy upon waking, was that of everything that had happened to her, between the long night of internal and external criminations and the early morning heartache, all she could clearly remember without the fuzzy interference of her pained heart, was looking into Miranda's eyes before she leant down to kiss her. That was the only moment that was shockingly vivid, everything else blended together leaving her with doubt that any of it had really happened.
Had she really just ended the longest lasting relationship she had ever had? Had she really gone to Miranda's home in seek of comfort from someone who was not known for her compassion? Had she really called Miranda at five in the morning, and was it Miranda that had really answered?
Andy's mind was slowly beginning to glue together the pieces that had ultimately resulted in her falling asleep on the covers of her bed in the clothes she had gone out in. She rubbed at her eyes and pulled her hands away with the salt that was left over from her tears stuck to her fingertips. She brushed the small crystals off of the ends her fingers and her eyes lost sight of them before they made it to her floor.
Slowly, Andy sat up, and then took a look down at her body. If she looked past her wrinkled clothes ignored the slightly offensive odor, and dismissed the slight discomfort she felt every time she blinked her eyes, then Andy had plenty of room to say that she didn't feel really like anything about her had changed. She hadn't grown a third eye in her sleep or a dangling superfluous appendage. She still had all of her fingers and toes. None of her teeth had fallen out.
Nothing had changed, even though, in a way, everything had. Everything was different now that she accepted something about herself that she had pushed away for far too long. Everything had changed because she had spoken out and changed them.
She had gone back to Miranda. She had quit her job. She had written an article good enough for Miranda's
Runway. She had broken up with Nate. She had deconstructed her life, and it was too soon for her to try to grasp onto all the consequences that were going to be knocking on her door.
Andy looked over at the alarm clock resting on the nightstand next to her. It was after two in the afternoon. The day had inconsiderately continued on while she was suffering through a dreamless sleep. Andy tried to remember what day it was, since the last few seemed to have glued themselves together without her realizing it.
She remembered that she had reported to Miranda early on Monday morning like she had told Miranda she would. Monday ran into a Tuesday morning full of writing, and if she counted on her fingers correctly then today was only Wednesday. It had only taken the better part of two days for her to alter her entire life's course.
The idea would have freaked her out if she hadn't already been experienced in the art of making her life take a sharp left turn. She had done it when she told her parents she wasn't going to stay in Ohio. She had done it when she had gone on her first date with another woman. She had done it when she decided not to go to law school after she had nearly killed herself studying for her Law School Admission Test so that she could get a high enough score to attend Stanford. She was experienced in the sharp left turns; she just was never really prepared for them.
Andy threw her legs over the side of her bed, and then forced herself to stand up. She shuffled around her room, gathering bits of clean clothing until she had enough items to cover her body with. Then, she made her way to her bathroom, threw her fresh clothes on the floor, twisted the knob for her shower to start spewing water and then stepped under the flow not caring how hot or cold the water would be when she entered it.
She washed off her body, and washed her hair not paying careful attention to either task. She stepped out of the shower when she felt clean enough, and then got dressed in the clothes she had thrown on the floor. She walked out to her kitchen and stood in front of her closed refrigerator trying to decide if she really wanted to try and eat. Her stomach had been sending her brain traces of hunger pains but they had always been quickly followed by extreme nausea. Eating would be a risk, and she wasn't fully convinced the risk was worth it.
Before she could make a firm decision about food, someone was knocking at her door and she had something else to debate. She didn't want company. She didn't want to talk to anyone, and she suspected that of all the people in the world that could be knocking on her door, it wouldn't be a representative from a winery asking her to sample their fine wines. It was probably Lily, Nate or Doug wanting to converse about the things she couldn't yet clearly remember.
"Andy!" It was Lily. "I know you're in there!"
Andy looked around her small apartment, hoping to find someplace she could hide, but her only viable option would be to lock herself in the bathroom and she really didn't want to do that. She hadn't locked herself in the bathroom since she was caught reading her older cousin's diary. Her cousin had threatened her with disembowelment, and at the time Andy thought her cousin was capable of it. She suspected that Lily might be capable of it as well.
"Shit," Andy muttered and then walked over to her door so that she could open it.
"What the hell is going on with you, Andy?" Lily forced her way into the apartment before Andy had fully opened the door. "Did you really break up with Nate?"
Andy ignored her friend and instead looked at the younger woman still standing outside of her apartment. "Hi." she forced a smile. "Long time. How are things?"
"Hey," the other woman waved awkwardly. "Things are good, but I feel the need to apologize ahead of time for my cousin. We were on our way to get some lunch when Nate called her."
"I see." Andy looked over her shoulder at Lily who was impatiently watching them. "I didn't know you were in town." Andy stepped away from her door to let Lily's cousin in. The last time she had seen Aquarius was over a year ago when the younger woman was staying with Lily while scoping out colleges. Lily had wanted her cousin to move in with her since she swore she was going to be the greatest artist of their time, but Aquarius hadn't taken her cousin up on the deal. Andy would never forget the month long diatribe Lily went on when Aquarius had decided to major in environmental science.
"Yeah." Aquarius stepped into the apartment and was even kind enough to shut the door behind her. "Lil wanted me to come hang out since Nate is...was in town and all."
"Did you break up with Nate?" Lily asked again.
Andy turned to her friend. "Lily, we broke up with each other."
"I can't believe this, Andy." Lily rubbed her forehead. "Did you know Nate bought you an engagement ring? He was going to propose to you this weekend. That's why he took all that time off of work and everything. Doug and I were planning a surprise party and your parents were going to fly in!"
Andy refused to have any reaction to Lily's news. She only turned back to Aquarius. "I guess that's the real reason why you're here."
Aquarius shrugged. "I wasn't going to say anything." She coughed a couple of times and then uncomfortably looked around the apartment. "I'm going to go and find your bathroom."
"Andy!" Lily tore Andy's attention away from the retreating Aquarius. "What were you thinking?"
Andy was too tired to try and argue with someone who always took Nate's side. "Lily, I really think you should leave."
"What?"
"I'm not going to talk to you about this." Andy kept her voice even. "At least not now."
"Andy, I just want to know what's going on with you," Lily's voice lowered. "I'm worried."
"I know, but I'm not going to explain myself to you, and if that," Andy released a heavy sigh. "If that makes you angry then I'm sorry, but I don't need your shit right now."
Lily's eyes widened and she opened her mouth, but Aquarius came back into the room and hurried over to her cousin before Lily could say anything. "Just walk away," Aquarius told Lily. "Give her some time."
"I can't believe this," Lily said angrily. "Who are you people?" She muttered before she stormed out of the apartment leaving Aquarius behind.
Aquarius turned to Andy with a small smile on her face. "You know, sometimes I wonder if Lil really is my cousin. So, I guess that makes us even."
Andy laughed even though she hadn't found what Aquarius said all that funny. "I'm sorry she's angry at you, too."
Aquarius waved away Andy's apology. "Don't worry about it. Lily's usually angry at me. I think she fears change, but I think you might know her better than I do."
Over sixteen years worth of friendship had brought Andy and Lily closer together than they were with many members of their own families. Although at the moment, Andy didn't see Lily honoring those years of friendship at all. "I'm not sure I really know her anymore."
"Yeah," Aquarius looked around again and eventually focused her hazel eyes on Andy. "Look, I'm not sure really what to say...about all of this, but you've always kind of been like an older...cousin-type-person to me and I feel obligated to say something beyond 'this sucks'. So, all I've got for you is that I'm sorry, and if what happened between you and Nate was for the best, then I'm happy you did what you had to."
Andy silently laughed, and then suddenly remembered what Lily had been telling her. "Was there really a party planned?"
Aquarius scratched at her shoulder. "I didn't come down from Cornell just to see Lily."
"And my parents?"
"Have not yet been given an update on what's going on."
"Shit." Andy started to feel panic and anger rise up inside of her. She couldn't believe Lily and Doug would do something like this without talking to her about it first. "Did they think it was even a possibility that I would say 'no'?"
Aquarius winced. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"Look, I'll give everyone that I know Lily invited a call, and I'll tell them that things...didn't work out. You can just go ahead and lay back down and rest or something."
"Aquarius, you don't..."
"Look, Andy," Aquarius interrupted, "Lily isn't here doing what she oughta, so I'm going to do it. Just go lay down."
Andy thought about protesting again, but she really didn't want to. She thanked Aquarius and then walked back to her bedroom. She reached out to close her bedroom door behind her, but hesitated since she didn't want to seem rude. Aquarius watched her, nodded once and then walked out of Andy's view. A couple of moments later, she could hear Aquarius on the phone telling someone that the party was off and if they wanted the details as to why then they'd have to submit their questions in writing.
Andy went ahead and shut her door, and then fell on top of her bed. She curled up her body and closed her eyes. She still felt disconnected from the events that had been happening. None of it had started to feel real yet. Andy imagined that perhaps she was inside of a dream, and her dream self had somehow managed to jump into living life with her friends. Maybe Nate had proposed and maybe her dream self would have said yes. Andy had imagined what marrying Nate would be like, but for some reason her imagination could never go far beyond the honeymoon. That's how she had known she wasn't ready for marriage. She could only ever imagine her wedding and could never really imagine being married.
Andy listened to Aquarius's muffled voice speaking on the phone talking to whomever about Andy's private life. To Aquarius's credit, she was limiting the details down to the simple fact that there would be no party. Andy heard at least three one-sided conversations before she fell asleep.
Aquarius woke her up with the temptation of food. She had ordered Chinese food and brought Andy a plate. She sat the plate down next to Andy and then she retrieved her own plate and sat down on the opposite end of Andy's bed. They ate while silently staring at each other. When Aquarius had finished eating, she sat her plate on the floor and then turned back to look at Andy.
"Is something wrong with my face?" Andy asked as she started to grow uncomfortable with Aquarius's stare.
Aquarius shook her head. "No. I was just debating whether or not I should tell you that Nate told Lily that you fell in love with some person named Miranda Priestly."
Andy's eyes widened. "He said what?"
"Lily called me and told me about it while you were sleeping. I told her it was none of my business so she's still pissed off at me."
"I can't believe he told her that." Andy laid her plate down beside her.
"Lily probably pushed him into it," Aquarius reasoned. "You know how she can be."
"That's not the point! I'm not," Andy hesitated. "It's just no one's business."
Aquarius looked down at her fingernails. "You know, Lily seemed pretty pissed that you'd be uh…have feelings for Miranda Priestly. I don't know who Miranda is, but you know if you want to talk about anything I'll listen."
Andy opened her mouth to say something, but immediately shut it. She didn't really know Aquarius all that well. She had only ever hung out with her when Lily was around. If she told Aquarius about Miranda it would almost be like confessing everything to a stranger, but Andy wasn't in the mood to confess anything. "I'm sorry; I just don't feel like talking about it."
"No worries," Aquarius smirked. "So, I guess that means I have to keep the conversation going." She rolled her shoulders. "I can do that."
"You don't have to." Andy honestly appreciated everything Lily's cousin had done for her, but she felt like being alone. She just didn't have the heart to kick Aquarius out, and she suspected that since Aquarius was probably staying with Lily, Aquarius didn't have anyplace else to go.
"Look, I've got a lot of time on my hands right now, so let me do this. I'll talk you back to sleep with my boringness."
Andy laughed. "Okay."
"Alright, so…" Aquarius rubbed her hands together. "I was born in December…"
Andy laughed again. "You're seriously starting out with the story of your birth?"
"Yeah, like I said," Aquarius smiled, "you'll be asleep again in no time. So you might want to get comfortable."
"Okay." Andy leaned backed down on her bed, doing her best to muffle the laughter that was forcing its way out.
"Okay, so I was born in December and my mom was really into astrology, so she decided to name me after my astrological sign."
"But your name is Aquarius," Andy interrupted.
"I know. You see, my mom was really into astrology, she was just really bad at it."
"Lily told me your mom named you Aquarius because she gave birth to you underwater."
"That's the version of the story my mom likes to tell people, either way I'm just glad my name isn't Sagittarius. Aquarius is hard enough. Not that many people call me by my full name. Everyone calls me Ri."
"Do you want me to start calling you that?" Andy closed her eyes.
"No, that'd be weird. You've always called me Aquarius. If you started calling me something else I might think you've forgotten my name."
Aquarius continued to talk and moved on to a story about her first day at school. Andy continued to listen, and somewhere between Aquarius telling her about learning to fish and getting lost on a nature trail, Andy started to feel better. She opened her eyes again and looked over at her clock. It was past three in the morning. Aquarius had been talking to her for over six hours.
"…so that's how I discovered you couldn't put aluminum foil in the microwave."
"Hey, Aquarius," Andy cut in before her guest could say anything else. "It's okay if you stop talking now. I feel better."
"Thank God." Aquarius relaxed her body and she dropped her upper body over the edge of the bed. "I'm going to be mute tomorrow."
Andy sat up. "Thank you."
Aquarius raised her torso from over the edge. "You're welcome."
Andy looked down at her lap. "How did you know that would make me feel better?"
Aquarius shrugged. "I didn't, not really. But right after my dad died, all I wanted to do was keep myself locked in my room. Lily came over and sat at the edge of my bed and just kept talking to me, and eventually hearing her voice made me feel better. It didn't make me feel okay, but I felt better. So, I figured that loss is loss, right? You lost someone important to you so it might help to hear someone else's voice for a while instead of the one inside of your head telling you everything you did wrong, or could have done differently, or…whatever."
Andy reached out and placed her hand on Aquarius's knee. "Thanks."
"Hey, I'm just doing what Lily should have." Aquarius's hand moved to cover Andy's. "She'll figure out she's been an ass." She laughed. "She usually does."
Aquarius slowly stretched out and released a wide yawn. "You should get some sleep," Andy suggested. "I'll even let you use the bed since I'm not sure the couch is good for sleeping."
"I'll risk the couch." Aquarius got up off the bed. "I'm used to roughing it. You should give that Miranda person a call."
Andy's mouth dropped open. "What?"
"Well, I'm guessing since you love her and all, and that's at least part of the reason you broke up with Nate, then she might care for you back a little." Aquarius scratched at her arm.
"What?"
"All I'm saying is she's probably worried about you."
Andy snorted. "You really don't know Miranda."
"No, I don't," Aquarius conceded. "But you should still call her."
"Miranda would murder me if I called her this late for no reason."
"Okay." Aquarius walked towards the door. She looked over her shoulder and said, "My dad used to always say that it's better to get in trouble for doing something then to get in trouble for not doing anything. So, you might as well just do something to get in trouble for."
Andy smirked. "Your parents seem very odd."
Aquarius laughed. "Well, I thought you already knew that. You've met my extended family." She walked out of Andy's room and closed the door behind her.
Andy looked back at her clock and then over to her phone. She shook her head and laughed, not believing that she was actually considering what Aquarius had said. Calling Miranda was a bad idea. She knew it was a bad idea, but for some reason that didn't stop her from picking up the phone and dialing Miranda's number, because the only thing she still vividly remembered was Miranda's blue eyes.
Continued