Incomprehensible Desire: Mounds by Eveh

Part 14

Neutralized

Chapter 15

It had been a long day at Runway but the days were normally long and drawn out, filled with emergencies that had to be dealt with, and egos that had to be neutralized. Miranda could always deal with the stresses from her work, she was a pro at dealing with it, but she fell apart when faced with the stresses that presented themselves in her personal life. Despite her years of professional success, she had never quite managed to get a handle on the aspects of her life that didn't contribute to her salary. It seemed to her, that her personal life had been crumbling around her since she was a young woman, and she had never found a way to put all the pieces together again. It was hard to piece together something that was constantly changing and evolving into something she couldn't quite understand, and perhaps hadn't truly made an effort to understand.

Alain had called her directly, refusing to be put through Emily's meek attempts at stalling, saying that he was returning from Hawaii and that he wanted the girls with him for the rest of the summer. He was still so stubbornly intent on getting Caroline and Cassidy to enjoy the company of their soon-to-be stepmother that he was willing to alienate them to do it. Miranda had no legal standing to deny him, but she had refused anyway because she was going to, once again, give into her girls' desires. Cassidy was going to try out for that absurd little play and Caroline would eventually find something that she was passionate about that would take her away from spending the rest of her summer with her father.

Miranda had, of course, not attempted to explain any of this to her ex-husband because she saw no need to explain their daughters' motives to him. He should have already known that Caroline and Cassidy would be hesitant to return to his care. They did not like Rayne. They had not liked the way Rayne had spoken to them about her, and quite frankly Miranda hadn't been too pleased by Rayne's loose tongue either. Her heart and mind were allied in their call for immediate revenge, but Miranda found that she had very little time to orchestrate the painful demise of a talking warthog.

Without a doubt, Miranda knew that Rayne would eventually manage to compose her very own demise and did not need help with piercing a hole through her own plasticity. Miranda forced herself to manufacture a belief in her ex-husband she had let dim many years ago, and let herself be confident that Alain would end the engagement before he further damaged his relationship with the girls. She understood that Alain didn't want to live out the rest of his life alone, with only his growing girls as sometimes companions, but he needed to make better choices than Rayne.

Miranda, of course, knew that she was being a complete hypocrite, but that useless knowledge did not sway her from passing judgment. She had married Steven more for the adult companionship than for love and it had backfired terribly, but even now she would step forward and tirelessly defend her right to make bad choices when it came to her personal affairs, but she saw no reason to offer that same luxury to Alain.

She had made herself very clear. The girls would stay with her until he could either look past his fear of dying alone in a big empty house, or rein in his fiancee's blatant stupidity. Miranda coldly laid out her demands and Alain had capitulated to her like he often did. She suspected the conversation would have gone quite differently if he had somehow discovered that a young journalist by the name of Andrea Sachs had just spent the night in her home.

Of all the billions of people in the world, and of the millions of people that could recognize Miranda's name, Alain was the only person who knew her. Nigel knew things about her, as did Stephen and Irv and Emily and any number of others, but Alain was the only one that knew her. Miranda had been a lot more revealing in her youth and Alain had been her sole confidant. He knew many of her secrets and she knew many of his.

The only reason they hadn't completely ruined each other was because they had their girls. Caroline and Cassidy saved them both from the threats of unmitigated public humiliation. Miranda even guessed that perhaps there were still parts within each of them that begrudgingly held onto certain notions of respect. Still, Caroline and Cassidy were the main buffers between her and Alain and Miranda was exceedingly grateful for their existence.

If Alain knew Andrea Sachs was knocking at her door in the middle of the night, and that she was taking Andrea's ill thought out phone calls, then he would know...so many things. He would be able to assert more control over her, and Miranda wasn't ready for him to see the truth. Alain, would of course, keep her secrets but because he had them that would force her to make more of an effort to compromise. And she did not like compromise. She never had, and even with Alain, when their marriage was going well and they wee moderately happy, compromise hadn't often been part of her critical thinking skills. It especially had been conspicuously absent when their marriage was falling to pieces around her.

It was not well known that Miranda had broken her vows of fidelity while married to Alain, and it was even less known that she had broken those vows with a brilliant Broadway producer, who unfortunately happened to be a woman. It had been a stupidly impulsive act that Miranda instantly regretted. That simple act had been the last nail in the coffin of a truly deceased marriage. After the argument that had driven both her and Alain to seek personal solace, Alain had returned home drunk but holding flowers and she had returned stone sober but smelling like the sex of another woman.

Their battleground was no longer an even one and Alain immediately filed for divorce. They separated and Alain said nothing in court about her infidelity. She, in turn, held onto his personal secrets and with an amazing lack of climatic flare, their marriage was over.

Poof! Gone. Just like that.

It was easy, too easy to dissemble one's personal life. It was always the same song stuck in the same verse being sung by the same voice that had seen too many things and drunk too many alcoholic beverages. And Miranda was beginning to realize that she was getting tired of fighting the same battles over and over again, but she would continue to fight them.

"Miranda, I have no idea what we're going to do with the new Uma layout." Nigel breezed into Miranda's office and walked right up to her side as if he belonged there.

Miranda put her glasses back on and looked down at what Nigel had placed in front of her. He was right; it was awful. "What was Roger thinking?" She absently asked as her eyes rapidly ran across the page.

"Probably about his next meal." Nigel's hand went to his hip. "Have you seen how much weight he's gained?"

"Emily?" Miranda softly called out.

Within moments her First Assistant was standing in front of her. "Yes, Miranda."

"Get Roger on the phone and let him know that he needs to enter a weight loss clinic if he ever wants to work for Runway again, and then get me Regan." Miranda never looked up from the atrocity sitting in front of her.

"Of course, Miranda." Emily marched out with her orders, not even sparing a look at Nigel to see if he silently approved Miranda's demands.

Nigel leaned against Miranda's desk. "It might be hard to get Uma back in for a re-shoot," he warned. "She's shooting a movie in some dreadful little country across the ocean."

"Don't be ridiculous, Nigel," Miranda waved away his concern. "She's a woman turning forty. Of course she'll come back."

"Well then," Nigel stood back up and then straightened out his vest. "There's something else I wanted to show you." He reached under the Uma cover and pulled out a page with a lot more writing on it and a lot fewer pictures. "This is Andy's article."

Miranda sat up straighter, not bothering to look down at the pages in front of her. "And why are you showing this to me now?"

Nigel opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Emily informing Miranda that she had Regan on the phone. Miranda picked up the line and spoke briefly with the photographer. It was quickly settled that he would be coming in at the first word that Uma was back in the country. A part of Miranda had hoped that Nigel would lose his nerve and scurry away before she got off the phone, but he patiently waited. He wanted to talk about Andrea and was going to force the issue through the guise of it being about Runway. He had always been a sneaky little bastard.

"Speak," Miranda demanded as she hung up the phone. "You have exactly one minute."

Nigel took in a deep breath. "The article doesn't fit, Miranda. It's good writing, perhaps even great writing but it doesn't belong in Runway."

"Really Nigel." Miranda removed her glasses. "I never thought you were so narrow-minded."
Nigel's eyes widened but he said nothing.

"In December we are showcasing new talent as a startup to a new year." She leaned back in her chair. "That was your idea wasn't it? Your theme for the opening of a new era in a new year?"

Nigel kept his perfect posture, but Miranda could see that he had crumbled. "Miranda, adding in Andy's work would be a risk."

"I have left many of the editing decisions for the issue up to you." It was her Christmas gift to him. She was giving him a chance to prove that he could survive without her. She would hold the ultimate approval over everything, as always, but she was doing her best to give him just enough rope to hang himself with.

It was imperative that he come through, because she was far too busy trying to guide Men's Runway through its first issue. Of course, no one yet officially knew she was overseeing the premier issue but her and Irv. Despite their personal contention with one another, she and Irv made good business partners. He understood Miranda was the only one that could handle building Men's Runway into the powerhouse Runway had become, and she understood he was one of a select few that could get her the resources needed to make Men's Runway the only magazine that mattered in Men's fashion. Their's had always been a reluctant partnership of convenience, but that convenience had brought both of them millions of dollars worth of success. Their personal squabbles would have to be settled later.

Miranda slowly stood up, forcing Nigel to take a retreating step away from her. "If you have such strong objections to Andrea's article, then kill it."

She didn't wait for him to respond before she walked out of her office, casually announcing she had a dinner to get ready for. Miranda knew Nigel wouldn't pull Andrea's article because he couldn't afford to take the chance. He knew better than to take out something she had already specifically told him to make room for. No, the only point in bringing Andrea's article up was to fish for information, and Miranda refused to give Nigel that satisfaction.

Nigel's own personal ambition would keep him in line. He had no choice but to play it safe. Miranda was well aware that he was making 'covert' plans to leave Runway. He was attempting to land a position within, Sean Jean, and he couldn't afford to make her angry. Sean Combs had already taken the liberty in contacting her to let her know Nigel and he were entering into talks. Sean couldn't risk doing anything she disapproved of since he wanted to be considered for a feature inside of Men's Runway. He had heard rumors about her heading up the project and didn't want to risk the chance of her succumbing to Justin Timberlake's attempts to feature his William Rast brand first.

Miranda left Elias-Clarke and scrolled through her voicemail messages on her way back home. Caroline had decided to tag along with her sister to Kaitlyn's and they had no intention of returning home that night. Per usual, her girls were out keeping themselves busy without her. They had made it clear they didn't want to return to their father, but that didn't mean they wanted to stay with her.

Miranda tried to recall when she had first felt revolted by the idea of spending any time with either of her parents; she had been much younger than her girls. She had more often chosen her nannies, her friends, her older brothers, anyone over her parents' attention. She understood that her childhood hadn't been the normal happy upper-class upbringing. Just as she knew she had done a better job with her girls than her parents had done with her; Caroline and Cassidy were beginning to act like 'normal' teenage girls in modern day New York.

And since they were acting like normal girls who did not hesitate in assuming she would be sitting at home alone, waiting desperately for their return, Miranda saw no need to correct them. They didn't need to know that she wasn't going to cancel her plans for the evening just because it was their first full night in town. That sort of behavior was the kind of thing that had made Miranda dislike her own parents so much. Well, it was that and their insistence she attend a boarding school in a small little piece of nowhere. And still, her mother wondered why Miranda had never graduated high school.

When Miranda arrived at her home, an army of specialists were waiting for her. They would do her makeup, her hair, dress her and prepare her for her evening. They were there so that when she and Irv stood in front of a room of their dearest and closest friends of about three hundred, announcing that they were the proud parents of another publication, she wouldn't look too old to have just given birth.

"Start setting up," Miranda ordered as she let her work invade her home. She walked away from them to her study and then flipped on her personal computer. She had not forgotten telling Andrea that morning to send her a rough draft of whatever it was she was writing and Andrea had met her time limit. She had seen the email pop up just before Nigel had entered her office, but had not yet opened it. She was pressed for time, but would give Andrea's article the attention it deserved.

She quickly downloaded the attachment, skipping over useless words Andrea had felt the need to type out in the message itself. Her eyes ran across the article three times before she allowed herself to form an opinion. It was...unexpected and emotional. It revealed too much of Andrea's vulnerabilities. It yelled out Andrea's personal confusion in an era that kept on yelling out she alone had the power to change the world yet offered up no avenues to do so. It was...better than the article being published at Runway and it was pertinent to the current cultural climate.

Miranda closed her word processor. She replied to Andrea's email message letting the young woman know that the article would not get published and was too raw to be properly edited. She wasn't going to allow Andrea to ruin her career by revealing too much too soon. Andrea was not yet strong enough to withstand the flood that would result from this article: "Apathetically Changing The World". So, she told Andrea to choose a new subject and to have something to her within forty-eight hours.

She then left her study to begin preparing for the evening. Miranda knew Andrea wouldn't understand why she had turned down the article, but Andrea didn't need to understand. Her youth would get in the way of any rational conversation and Miranda simply didn't want to be bothered with using small simple words to explain something that could only be learned from experience.

****

Miranda arrived casually late, as was her custom. She took her place next to Irv as they made their way through the stockholders, editors, reporters, designers, photographers, and every other face she wouldn't bother to remember. When it was time for their big reveal, no one seemed especially surprised. Some looked upon her with thinly veiled jealousy, but she didn't much care what anyone thought of what had just been officially handed over to her.

She stayed for exactly forty-five minutes after she and Irv smiled for the cameras, and gave an official statement to the press. While she was in the backseat of the limousine Irv had sent for her, she once again went through her messages. Alain called saying he wanted to have lunch so that they could sit down and discuss the girls. Caroline threatened to murder her sister if she wasn't retrieved from Kaitlyn's immediately, and Cassidy vowed to do the same. Her brother was coming to New York and their mother insisted he call and let Miranda know so that they could make proper arrangements to meet up, which was code for avoid one another at all cost.

No one had called her about Runway, most everyone was taking the night off to enjoy the party Irv's assistants had arranged. That meant that Miranda had the rest of the night off as well, but Caroline needed to be picked up. "Roy stop by Kaitlyn's first."

"Yes, Miranda." He immediately answered.

Her phone rang and Miranda reluctantly picked it up. "Yes, dear."

"Are you on your way yet?" Cassidy whined. "I can't look at Caroline for another minute."

Miranda leaned her head back on the seat. "What is it exactly that happened?"

"Caroline keeps laughing at us!" Her daughter complained.

"Well, what is it you're rehearsing for?"

"Much Ado About Nothing." Cassidy blithely answered.

Miranda closed her eyes. "Cassidy, darling, if I'm not mistaken that's a Shakespearian comedy. Wouldn't you prefer your sister to be laughing?"

There was a moment of extended silence until Cassidy said, "But I don't like how it is she's laughing."

Miranda could not remember arguing with her brothers like this when they were children. Although to be fair, she had never spent much time with them. "I'll be there shortly."

"Okay." Cassidy said and then immediately hung up. Part of Miranda suspected that when she arrived at Kaitlyn's her daughters would no longer want to be separated. This was not the first time she had been called in to referee a situation that no longer needed a mediator.

Her phone rang again. She expected to see Caroline's name appear but wasn't displeased to see Andrea's instead. She didn't feel like diffusing Caroline's anger. "Yes," she answered.

"Congratulations," Andrea softly replied.

"For?" Miranda prompted, even though she knew why Andrea was congratulating her.

"You're one step closer to taking over the world."

Miranda's lips slowly stretched out to a small grin. "If you say so."

"Well um..." Andrea muttered after a quiet moment. "That's the only reason I called. I just wanted to uh... you know."

Miranda's eyes widened slightly. "You don't want to discuss your article?"

"No," Andrea muttered. "I can bother you about that tomorrow," she quickly added not bothering to improve her diction. "Tonight, I'm just a friend telling another friend...that I'm happy for her."

Miranda quickly became grateful that Andrea was not currently sitting alongside her in the car. She was unaccustomed to being struck speechless. So, instead of directly replying to what Andrea had insinuated with her words she latched onto her ever present life preserver. "Your article was very well written, Andrea."

"Thanks," Andrea breathed out. "Have a good night, Miranda."

It was downright absurd to be feeling so...so... It was just absurd to be feeling anything at all after a silly phone call from some young upstart who knew next to nothing about her. Miranda didn't need Andrea's congratulations. Any actions she had taken were not motivated with the intent of getting Andrea's approval. She and Irv had been working on Men's Runway ever since Paris last year, and it was absurd to think that Andrea would be so deluded as to think Miranda cared one bit for Andrea's simple-minded congratulations.

But, Miranda sighed, the young upstart's words had affected her. Andrea's article had affected her. In truth, certain aspects of Andrea had always affected her. "Good, God," Miranda moaned as she dropped her head back onto the seat.

"I'm sorry?" Roy's eyes looked back at her through the rear view mirror. "Did you say something, Miranda?"

Miranda rolled her head to the side so that she could look out the window. "Is there a reason why you're driving so slow?"

Roy's eyes went back to the road ahead of him. "I'm sorry, Miranda."

She was going to get Andrea's article published. Andrea had to make her own mistakes, take her own risks. Miranda would not stand in the way of a...friend.

Chapter 16

Influential
Andy hung up her phone sort of wishing that she would have thought of something to tell Miranda that would have drawn out their conversation just a few seconds longer. She wanted to offer to take Miranda out for a congratulatory evening, but she kept her silence because she didn't know how to ask and she didn't think Miranda would even consider it. At least not now, not after she had so recently let Andy become witness to her personal life.

Still, Andy knew that she had to do something for Miranda that would show her that Andy understood just how big of a deal it was that Miranda was going to be spearheading, at least temporarily, another publication. Andy couldn't even think about the amount of maneuvering Miranda had to accomplish in order to come out on top this time, and if she were being truly honest with herself, Andy didn't really want to know.

Having that kind of knowledge would bring up memories that Andy was doing her best to dampen just a little bit so that she could allow herself to get to know Miranda without the filters in place that everyone else seemed to use. If she constantly reminded herself of how Miranda had maliciously outmaneuvered her corporate foes, then she knew she wouldn't see the point in continually associating herself with Miranda. Andy hadn't forgotten the reasons why she had walked away, even though she freely admitted that she had screwed it up in the end. She knew she shouldn't have left the way she did and she knew that if Nigel didn't see a reason to have a hissy fit and walk away with a chip on his shoulder than she shouldn't have seen a reason to either.

Nigel had been surprisingly gracious and...almost noble about the whole thing. She's the one that ran away, and no matter how things would have turned out if she had stayed, as long as she was being honest with herself, Andy had to admit that she didn't regret leaving. She hadn't been ready for Runway or the opportunities that came along with working for Miranda. She needed her time at the Mirror to grow up a little. She needed it so that she and Nate could figure out their relationship. She needed it so that she could try and rebuild friendships that she had let wither because she couldn't decide how to balance her life and work.

Andy had never had plans to return to Miranda. Less than a week ago, she couldn't have even imagined having another conversation with the woman...ever. Even now, it was hard for Andy to conceptualize exactly what place Miranda had in her life. She had told Miranda that she was her friend, but even that simple little term, when applied to Miranda, seemed incongruous to reality.

Andy dropped her head into her hands. "I can't think about this anymore," she mumbled.

"Thank about what?"

Andy jumped up, her phone flying out of her hands. "What are you doing here?" She yelled.

Lily held up the spare key Andy had given her in case either of them were ever in need of it. "I wasn't sure you would have opened the door if I had knocked."

"Damn it, Lil." Andy brushed her hands through her hair as she fell back down onto her couch, barely avoiding a collision with her laptop. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry." Lily stepped further into Andy's apartment, mindful of the papers that were spread out across her friend's floor. "Are you working on something?"

Andy looked around her living space, which was now doubling as an office. "Yeah."

"Anything interesting?"

Andy leaned back and crossed her arms in front of her. "Why are you here?" She didn't want another fight. She had just gotten through arguing with her parents about going back to Ohio with them as she had escorted them to the airport. She had put her foot down and told them that she was working on becoming a freelance writer, and assured them that she wasn't crazy. They had accepted that, but only in a way that let Andy know they were accepting it on the precondition that they really weren't accepting it and were letting the subject rest only temporarily.

"So, you just want to get down to it, huh?" Lily made her way over to the couch and forced some papers to the side so that she could sit next to Andy.

"Please." Andy stamped down on her urge to move away from her long time friend so that their bodies were no longer touching. She was still angry and she didn't like Lily invading her personal space, but the adult part of her brain understood that there really weren't a whole lot of places to sit and she wasn't going to be so petty as to tell Lily to sit on the floor.

"Okay look," Lily clasped her hands together, "I'm sorry about the party. Doug and I were really trying to do something you and Nate would like, and well, it kind of blew up in our faces."

"You should have talked to me about it, Lil."

Lily nodded. "You're right. We should have."
"Why isn't Doug here apologizing with you?" Andy hadn't spoken to him in a while, and figured he had sent Lily to do the apologizing for them both because he was a huge chicken.

"He went back to Boston with Nate."

"Oh." Irrationally, Andy felt a surge of jealousy flow through her. She wanted both of her friends to be with her, and neither of them attending to Nate.

"Alright," Lily blew out a long breath, "so now for the hard part." She looked away from Andy down to the papers at her feet. "Nate said some things about you and Miranda..."
"Lily that's..."

"Wait." Lily held up a hand forestalling the interruption Andy was making. "Let me get through this first." Her hand fell and her eyes slowly raised to meet Andy's. "I'm not quite sure how I feel about...that. I mean, you and Miranda. But I do know that the last time you were around her, you started acting a lot different than the Andy I grew up with, and I didn't particularly like that Andy."

"Okay." Andy didn't know what to say. She hadn't particularly liked that Andy either. She didn't like always canceling the plans she had made with her friends. She didn't like missing birthdays and other special events. She had missed hanging out with her friends and commiserating about how hard life was. She had missed a lot.

"So, when you quit Runway, I thought my Andy was coming back, but she never did. And I think I'm just now realizing that."

"You know what?" Andy laughed humorlessly as she finally uncrossed her arms. "I think I'm just now realizing it, too."

"Andy," Lily reached out and covered Andy's hand with her own. "No matter what, I'm still your friend. I've always had your back and that won't change."

"So even if I," Andy's words got caught in her throat and she forced herself to swallow so that she could continue speaking. "If I...if Miranda and I...or I mean, if I..."

Lily gently squeezed Andy's hand. "It's your life, Andy."

"Aquarius said some things." Andy pulled her hand out of Lily's. "About...well she told me she was gay, and that you had problems with that."

"She told me about that." She looked away from Andy. "And it's just how I was raised, and as Aquarius has pointed out to me, repeatedly, it's a problem with my thinking and not a problem with who she is or..." Lily looked back over to Andy. "who you are. But just to be clear, my problem with Miranda is not about her sex; my problem is with who she is, Andy. I love you, and I want you to be happy and with someone who can make you happy, and you weren't happy when you were around her."

She hadn't been happy when she was at Runway, but Andy was starting to think a lot of that unhappiness had more to do with her than it ever had to do with Miranda. Miranda hadn't had the power to make her unhappy, not then. "I doubt anything's going to happen between me and Miranda anyway."

"Well, I'm not going to pretend and say I think that's a bad thing, but if something does happen, I'll be here for you. And, Aquarius even said she'd check up on you. She said something about earning another toaster oven." Lily smiled.

Andy laughed, finally glad that Lily had bothered to invite herself in. She hadn't realized how lonely she had been feeling until Lily had made her laugh. "You know what, Lil? I never realized your little cousin was so much cooler than you."

"Hey! I'm cool." Lily immediately objected. "I'm part of the New York art scene; ain't nothin' cooler than that."

"Sure it is." Andy sarcastically replied.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Okay. I'll remember this when I'm famous and powerful."

"You do that."

"I will."

Lily's eyes shifted to the papers surrounding her. She picked up a page and then silently read over it. "Nate said Miranda is publishing one of your articles." She looked up from the page. "Congratulations, Andy. I can't wait to buy my first issue of Runway so that I can read it."

" You've never bought Runway before?" Andy asked, having just assumed that since Lily had always been more fashion-forward than her that she would have at least bought a copy of the publication before.

"Have you seen how much it cost? I do what every other poor person does," She smirked. "I go to Barnes and Noble and read through it and leave before the employees get suspicious."

Andy shook her head. "I forgot about that."

Lily looked around her again. "So, I should probably let you get back to writing. I'm supposed to meet up with some artists who want to be featured in our next show." She stood up and Andy quickly followed. Now that Lily was around, she was sort of hoping that her friend would stay for a while. "Take care of yourself, Andy." Lily reached out and brought Andy into her arms, hugging her solidly. "And please, be careful. I don't trust the people you're around."

Andy pulled out of her friend's arms, trying not to take offense at Lily's selfless warning. "I can handle it," she promised.

Lily sighed. "I know you can, Andy. But still I�" Her words stalled, and Andy couldn't help but be thankful that Lily was, for whatever reason, choosing to sensor herself. She didn't need anymore warnings.

"I'm going to be fine, Lil," Andy grabbed onto her friend's hand. "I promise."

Lily smiled again, but this time Andy realized it was much more forced than it had been just a few moments before. "I know, I know. I'm overreacting." She shook her head. "I should go." She pulled her hand away from Andy's and then walked towards the front door. She had her hand on the doorknob, ready to leave, when at the last moment she turned back to Andy, gave another weak smile, and then asked, "Do me a favor and let me know when Aquarius calls you, okay?"

Having expected another warning about Miranda's doom and gloom, Andy was almost pleasantly surprised Lily's parting words weren't going to be about her going towards a wreckful future. "Don't worry," she joked, "I won't leave you out."

Lily's smile stayed but was still no more genuine than it had been before. "She's not cooler than me," she joked before she pulled the door open and left Andy alone, again.

Andy turned back to her living room and looked at the mess of paper that littered her apartment. She started organizing what she could, hoping that the task would give her a chance to figure out what kind of article to write that would meet with Miranda's approval. She hadn't wanted to talk to Miranda about the article that had so recently been rejected, even though she had felt compelled to ask about it when Miranda had said that it was well written even if she had emailed her saying she didn't think it was worthy of publication.

Miranda was an expert at sending mixed signals, but Andy could admit that the signals didn't annoy her as much as they probably would have coming from any other editor. It was much easier to accept when coming from Miranda because Andy wasn't at all sure what kind of signals she wanted to receive and she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. It had always been easy for her to sit down and write about the things she was passionate about, but writing things hoping for Miranda's approval made her feel a lot like an untalented monkey trying to etch out Shakespeare on a cave wall with a piece of chalk.

Once the papers had been organized, Andy sat back down in front of her laptop. She made a few attempts at typing out something that could lead to another article, but gave up when the only sentences she could come up with looked like something a third grader would write. So, in lieu of writing and not yet ready to try and sleep, she checked her email not really expecting to see anything in her inbox besides the general spam inviting her to try products that would enlarge her penis or cure her weight issues. The usual advertisements had made it past her junk mail filters, but she was surprised to see another email from Miranda waiting for her along with an email from an address she didn't recognize with the subject header: 'Regarding your recent article'.
She decided to open the email she didn't recognize first since it was less intimidating to open a message from a complete stranger than opening anything from Miranda. She quickly read through it, and then had to read through it again just in case she wasn't understanding it correctly. The email was from a woman named Keyshia Simone. She explained that Miranda contacted her and said it would be in her best interest to represent Andy as her agent, and after reading Andy's recent article she agreed. Miranda had already set the terms of their association and all Andy needed to do was to call her and let her know that she was interested in acquiring her services.

Andy programmed Keyshia's telephone number and name onto her cell phone and then opened Miranda's message. It was a lot shorter than Keyshia's containing only one sentence with a semicolon: 'If you wish to continue to further your career then you will need an agent; expect Keyshia Simone to contact you.'. There was nothing there about the short conversation they had earlier that evening or any comments about the article Miranda had forwarded to an agent in the middle of the night. It could have easily been considered impersonal, but Andy knew better than to castoff the midnight arrangements that had been made on her behalf as nothing but a casual business deal. In a small, almost imperceptible way, Miranda was showing solid proof of giving a damn.

****

Her ringing phone woke her up, and Andy felt compelled to ignore it but on the off chance that someone important was calling, she blindly reached out for her phone and then answered it.

"Hello?"

"Open your door."

"Aquarius?" Andy sat up. "Is something wrong? Did something happen to Lily?"

"She was fine the last time I checked."

"Then why are you here?" Andy looked over at her alarm clock, a little surprised that it was almost one in the afternoon. She hadn't managed to go to sleep until well past three in the morning. She still found her apartment to be a very lonely place and hadn't been completely comfortable going to sleep. She had considered going to Miranda, but she decided against it since she didn't want to push Miranda too far. So instead of seeking out comfort, she stayed up watching television in hopes one infomercial or another would lull her to sleep.

"Because I have too much time on my hands." Aquarius's response was accompanied by a persistent knocking on the front door.

"Okay, I'm coming." Andy said and then hung up her phone. She stumbled to the door and then opened it to be faced with a grinning Aquarius.

"Shower and get dressed," Aquarius demanded as soon as she stepped into the apartment. "I'm taking you out to lunch."

"I can't go out to lunch," Andy replied through a yawn. "I have to write another article."

"Whatever." Aquarius waved away Andy's excuse. "Everyone has to eat, and I'm only going to be here for a short while so you can spare the time to let me buy you food."

Andy rubbed at her eyes. "Why are you here?"

"I can answer that over lunch. Now go and get ready." Aquarius shooed Andy away. Andy considered protesting again, but she was hungry and she knew that her brain wasn't yet ready to try and pump out anything coherent that could be put onto paper. So, she followed Aquarius's orders and moved to take a shower.

It didn't take her very long, and when she returned she found Aquarius sitting on the floor reading through the papers Andy had so carefully organized the night before. "This is good stuff, Andy," Aquarius didn't raise her eyes from the paper she was reading. "I can see why you think you can do this for a living."

"Yeah well," Andy sighed. "Miranda wants something else by tomorrow."

"I'm not surprised," Aquarius muttered, and then more clearly added, "I finally got around to looking her up."

"And?" Andy prompted when Aquarius didn't say anything else.

Aquarius shrugged. "That's it."

"That's it?" That couldn't be it. Andy had read through some of the things that popped up on the internet about Miranda and most of it wasn't very flattering.

Aquarius laid down the paper she had been holding onto. "That's it." She stood up. "I'm not going to form my opinion about someone based on what Google tells me." She stood up. "So, let's go out and get food. I've been driving all morning."

Andy followed Aquarius out of the apartment. She had no idea where Aquarius was taking her, and didn't really care. As much as she knew she needed to get work done, she was getting tired of looking at the walls of her apartment. Even though she had only spent the one night in Miranda's home, Andy was already missing it. She missed the big comfortable bed in the big comfortable room, and she missed seeing Miranda doing something so stupidly normal as pouring orange juice into a glass. She'd only seen Miranda acting like a normal person once, and she was already hooked on it.

"You're smiling like a deranged person," Aquarius bumped Andy's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Andy tried to shake off her thoughts. "Were you saying something?"

"No," Aquarius grinned. "I haven't said a word."

"I'm sorry." Andy felt the need to apologize again even though she wasn't quite sure what she was apologizing for. "You were right; I need to eat something."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it." Aquarius seriously replied. "It couldn't have anything to do with Miranda."

Andy stumbled but caught her balance before she fell. She was never really prepared for what Aquarius might say, and wasn't at all used to having someone cracking a joke about Miranda that wasn't mean spirited or spiteful. "Why would you say that?"

Aquarius scratched her head. "Because it's true? Look, Andy if you seriously want to pursue something with Miranda, then you've gotta get comfortable with the idea first."

"Who said I wanted to pursue anything?" Andy's asked, her voice rising in pitch as she spoke. "Miranda and I are just trying to be friends."

"I feel like we've had this conversation before." Aquarius suddenly stopped walking, and abruptly entered the restaurant Andy hadn't realized they were standing in front of. It was the same place she had dined with Miranda just a couple of days before.

Andy reached out and grabbed onto Aquarius's hand before they could be greeted by any of the restaurant's staff. "We can't eat here."

"Why not?" Aquarius asked. "You seemed to like the food last time."

"First of all," Andy kept a firm hold on Aquarius, "I can't possibly afford this place right now. And you can't just walk in here and expect to get seated."

"Yes, I can." Aquarius used Andy's grip to her own advantage to pull Andy along with her.

"Hey, we've been expecting you," the hostess greeted them. "Roger thought you decided to back out."

"Nah," Aquarius held up the hand Andy was still attached to. "I just had to pick up my companion for the afternoon."

"Well then," the hostess winked, "come right this way."

"What the hell is going on?" Andy asked as soon as they had been seated and were left alone.

Aquarius opened her menu. "I'm sure you can recall that I spent a lot of time in this restaurant waiting for you to be finished with your non-date date. I got to know the manager and the staff. Guy even offered me a job."

"You're going to work here?"

"Eh," Aquarius dropped her menu. "All of my summer classes are online courses, so it wouldn't interfere with anything. We'll see."

"Wow." Andy didn't really know what to make of what Aquarius had just shared with her. "So you're staying with Lily?"

Aquarius nodded. "For the time being. She offered up her couch and I couldn't resist."

"That's great."

"It sure is." Aquarius leaned back. "Am I'm sure you'll be glad to know that Miranda Priestly is sitting a couple of tables behind you."

Andy's eyes widened and panic fluttered through her chest, but Aquarius's smile calmed her down. "Not all of your jokes are funny."

Aquarius started playing with her silverware. "Then, I guess it's good that I'm not trying to be funny. She's seriously sitting over there with some guy who looks like he's just been eviscerated."

The panic quickly came back. Andy did her best to turn around without actually having to turn around. What were the chances that she and Miranda would choose to dine in the same place at the same time on the same day?

"Hey Smooth Operator." Aquarius threw her napkin at Andy's face. "It's too late to try and be covert. She spotted us the moment we walked over here. Woman's got eyes like a hawk. You should go over and say hello."

Andy shook her head. "I, I can't do that." Andy looked over her shoulder, unable to resist getting another brief glance of Miranda. "She's with her ex-husband."

"Well it looks like he'd appreciate the interruption." Aquarius began to stand up. "So, I'm going to walk over there and you can either follow or you can act like the woman you want to be friends with isn't even here."

Andy tried to reach out to hold Aquarius back, but Aquarius was too quick. "Damn it," she said to herself before she got up and followed Aquarius to Miranda's table. She couldn't believe Aquarius was so stupid as to think that Miranda would welcome being interrupted. Miranda always hated interruptions.

Miranda watched her as she approached, and her eyes gave away nothing. "I don't want to interrupt," Andy heard herself saying as she was suddenly looking down at Miranda. "But I just wanted to say hello." Aquarius elbowed her side. "Oh, Miranda this is Aquarius."

Aquarius held out her hand, but Miranda didn't take it. "Okay," Aquarius's hand fell back down to her side. "It's nice to meet you."

Andy watched the exchange hoping that Aquarius wouldn't say anything too incriminating. "We were getting ready to order," Miranda's eyes turned back to her, "you should join us."

"Miranda." Miranda's ex-husband barked out her name, and Andy didn't much like the tone he was using, but Miranda acted as if she hadn't even heard him.

Instead of offering any type of protest, Andy pulled out the closest chair next to Miranda and sat down. "Thank you."

Aquarius followed Andy's lead and took a seat next to Miranda's ex. Andy promised that she would thank Aquarius later for not asking any questions or making the moment any more awkward than it already was. "I'm Aquarius by the way," Aquarius casually told the man she was now sitting next to.

"Alain," he replied, his eyes finally leaving Miranda.

"So, what is it you do Alain?" Aquarius asked and Andy would have sworn that Miranda's face looked just a bit more relaxed than it had just a few moments before.

Alain sighed. "I'm a psychiatrist," he answered sounding irritated.

"Really?" Aquarius smiled. "That's great. What's your focus?"

"I'm a child psychiatrist." Alain leaned back, looking as if he was finally giving up and giving in to Miranda's will.

"You wouldn't happen to be Alain Brosnan, would you?"

Aquarius finally had his full attention. "Yes, I am."

"You came and gave a lecture on the physiology of the adolescent brain a few months ago. It was fascinating and I think your book was even better."

Alain grinned. "You read my book?"

"After hearing your lecture, I couldn't help but want to learn more about your research."

Andy saw Miranda roll her eyes, and she quickly bowed her head so that Alain wouldn't see her smiling. Aquarius was laying it on pretty thick, but Alain didn't seem to notice. He was already going on about what he was currently working on and somehow Aquarius managed to look completely engaged in the conversation.

When Andy raised her head again, Miranda was looking at her, and for the first time Andy felt like she was in on the joke with Miranda instead of the brunt of it. "How are you doing?" Andy softly asked, not wanting to take Alain's attention away from Aquarius.

Miranda pursed her lips.

For Andy, that was answer enough. "Okay, I won't ask again."

"Good." Miranda leaned closer to Andy. "Did Keyshia contact you?"

"She did." Andy tried to ignore the smell of Miranda's perfume. "I emailed her back."

"You still need to show me everything you write before you show her."

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything else."

The waitstaff finally noticed that their parties had joined and laid out the extra silverware and then took their order. Aquarius thanked their server for accommodating them, and then went back to listening to Alain talk about his work.

"He can talk about himself for an extraordinary amount of time." Andy hadn't really expected Miranda to say anything else to her, so was a little thrown by the sound of Miranda's voice. She was even more thrown by the fact that Miranda was close enough to her to have whispered almost directly into her ear.

"Aquarius doesn't seem to mind."

"She does," Miranda said and then pulled away.

Andy barely resisted leaning over so that she could once again reduce the space between them. "How can you tell?"

"Your observation skills need work, Andrea." Miranda reached out and picked up her glass of water.

Andy wanted to tell Miranda that her observation skills were just fine. She had been observant enough to notice that Miranda had only invited her to join them because Alain had been annoying her. She had been observant enough to notice that Miranda looked luxuriously elegant today, even if she looked just a bit more tired than usual. Andy had been observant enough to notice that Miranda's hair had recently been trimmed and that her breath smelled slightly of cinnamon. Her observation skills were fine; those skills just only wanted to observe Miranda.

"So, how is Mens Runway coming along?" Andy decided to ask since she couldn't explain to Miranda how much she actually had observed.

"We're getting Barack Obama for the cover of the first issue," Miranda put her glass back down.

"He's quite an intelligent man."

"Oh wow." For the first time in a long time, Andy wished she was still Miranda's assistant. "You got to meet him?"

"It wasn't the first time, Andrea. I have contributed quite a lot of money to his campaign."

Their food arrived then, and finally Alain turned his attention away from Aquarius. He made a meager attempt at drawing Andy into a conversation, saying that he remembered her from when she worked at Runway, but the conversation didn't go far since Andy wasn't at all comfortable talking to him. They finished their meals with Alain and Miranda not saying another word to each other the entire time. When they were done, Alain was the first leave after having promised to keep Aquarius apprised of all of his future publications.

As soon as he walked away, Aquarius dropped her head to the table. "I think my brain is leaking out through my feet." She raised her head, her eyes focused on Miranda. "I mean no offense or disrespect to you having married him, but I think he just made me just a little bit more gay."

Despite thinking that what Aquarius had said was amusing, Andy stopped herself from laughing since she wasn't sure how Miranda would take the comment. So, she focused her attention on Miranda glad to see that the only outward reaction Miranda had was to grin.

"I'll buy you a drink," Miranda offered.

Aquarius shook her head. "That's not necessary." She rubbed her eyes. "I was happy to do it for you."

Miranda looked at Aquarius unblinkingly and then for reasons Andy couldn't begin to understand asked, "Are you currently looking for employment?"

Aquarius looked over to Andy. "When it rains it pours, huh?" Her attention went back to Miranda. "Are you offering me a job?"

Miranda ran her forefinger across her chin. "Expect a call from Emily."

Aquarius looked confused. "Okay." She said and then looked down at her watch. "I have to go meet up with my cousin." She stood up. "Thank you for the pleasant afternoon, Miranda." She held out her hand for Miranda to take once again, and again Miranda made no move to take it.

Aquarius dropped her hand, chuckling. "It was still nice to meet you, and just in case I never get a chance to see you again, I want to take this opportunity to tell you that I think you are phenomenal woman and that I greatly respect everything you have accomplished. Whether intentionally or not, you've managed to make my life easier. And I still feel that way even if you won't shake my hand." She winked and then turned to Andy and waved. "I'll call you later."

Andy didn't watch Aquarius walk away, too focused on how Miranda would take Aquarius's blunt confession. She thought she should be surprised that Aquarius had dared say that to Miranda, but she wasn't surprised because Aquarius, Andy was learning, was always going to be Aquarius. She wasn't intimidated by Miranda and wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

"She's right, Miranda." Andy forced herself to keep her eyes focused on Miranda. "You are..." Why was it so much harder for her to compliment Miranda? Aquarius had just done it and she knew nothing about Miranda, although Andy suspected Aquarius had learned something about Miranda's accomplishments on Google. "You should be very proud of everything you've done."

"I'm not sure Aquarius is a good influence for you," Miranda looked away from Andy.

Andy smirked. "She's probably not." She wanted to reach out and place her hand on Miranda's, but knew Miranda wouldn't want that, not while they were still sitting in the middle of a crowded restaurant. "We should leave."

Miranda's eyes widened. "Together?"

"Sure." Andy shrugged. "You can tell me how great my article was."

Miranda rolled her eyes and then stood up. "Well?" She asked after she looked ready to leave.

"I'm coming." Andy hurriedly stood up, and then followed Miranda out of the restaurant. She made sure to send her silent thanks to Aquarius for bothering to knock on her door and so that she could drag her out of the apartment. She was sure that Aquarius had no idea that they would meet up with Miranda, but she had been the first one to stand up and walk over to Miranda's table. She had distracted Alain so that she and Miranda could carry on a semi-private conversation.

No. Andy realized. Aquarius wasn't a good influence at all.

Continued