Part 5

Present Day

"How long is Anna going to go away?" Melody's sweet voice asks me from the backseat of the car. I've just pulled up to the house of Cameron Mendoza and am trying my best to prepare my daughter for the situation we're about to enter.

I want to turn this car around and drive back to our home. Anna doesn't deserve the charity that I give her. She doesn't deserve anything more from me.

"I'm not quite sure," I answer. My hands are still gripping the steering wheel and I haven't managed to shut off the engine to the car yet. "She's probably going to be gone for a month, maybe less. I'm sure Anna will be willing to answer any questions that you have." She better answer any questions Melody has. She owes her daughter at least that much.

"Are we going to go inside? We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I can see Anna when she gets out." There's something intrinsically wrong with a child trying to comfort the parent. I don't need a child's permission to walk away from this situation, and I probably would have pulled away from the house if I hadn't noticed Anna looking at the car from a first floor window.

"We're going inside," I answer as kindly as I possibly can. I finally make the effort to release the steering wheel and turn off the car engine. I unlock the doors and open mine then step out of the car. My motions are smooth and no one would ever be able to tell that I'm having difficulty taking any of these actions. No one can ever tell when I'm not one hundred percent. I'm seen as cold and ruthless. I'm seen just as I am.

"Let me get your door for you, Mel," I say before I shut my door. I walk around the car, take a deep breath then open Mel's door. She slides out of the car and takes a quick look around. I can tell that she is nervous and I can tell that she has more going on in that head then she'll ever let me know, and I'll never push her to tell me it all either. She deserves to have some secrets. Everyone deserves to have secrets.

I take Mel's hand and lead her to the front door. I ring the bell and it amuses me that even though Anna has been standing on the other side of the door long before we got there, she takes almost two minutes to open the damn thing.

"Hello," Anna says to me cordially then looks down at Mel and gives her a big smile. "It's good to see you again."

"Hi Mom," Anna responds weakly. She even falters over the last word. She almost said Anna instead. I know she only said 'Mom' for the benefit of Anna. When we got home last night she told me that she felt bad about refusing her mother the title. So now she's decided to take it away from me and give it back to Anna. I'll accept that.

Anna likes the title. Her smile becomes more genuine. I want nothing more than to slap it off her face. "Are we going to be allowed in?" I ask not too unkindly but not nicely either. I don't much feel like being nice right now.

"Of course," Anna steps out of the way and let's us enter the house. Cameron comes to the foyer with Andy not far behind. She smiles at me pleasantly and it's instantly obvious to me that she has a lot to say to me and none of what she has to say is appropriate at this time. She'll have to hold onto her words. I hope they don't eat her alive. I wouldn't want an inappropriate outburst in the middle of dinner. I'm not into drama.

"It's good to see you again," I tell Cameron with an intentional smirk. "I had an opportunity to talk to a friend of yours today. I was surprised you didn't cancel the appointment."

Anna looks from me to Cameron. She has no idea what I'm talking about and she really shouldn't know anyway. Anna doesn't have anything to do with my life and she doesn't have a large involvement in Cameron's either unless somehow while they were alone today they discovered a kindred soul or spirit or some deep found connection that people rave about exists but have never personally witnessed.

"There was a misunderstanding that happened with that," Cameron answers smoothly. This is a woman who's obviously been dealing with people like me for a long time. "My request is officially withdrawn."

Of course it is. Now we have extenuating circumstances and all that which makes this world more complicated. Oh well, it's her loss. I don't need the money she was offering, which was almost insulting considering who I am.

"We'll have to talk officially eventually," I say and I don't say it to be mean. This woman and I have to have a very serious conversation. I don't trust just anyone to care for Babygirl.

"Dinner's almost ready," Anna's voice diffuses whatever tension was building between Cameron and I. "Let's go to the dining room." She reaches out and takes Melody's hand then reaches out and takes Andy's as well. She leads them away from Cameron and me. We're alone and it's still not the right time to talk. Plus, I'm not too confident in leaving both children alone with Anna. I'm not confident with leaving any child alone with Anna.

I walk past Cameron and she follows me. I don't have any idea where the dining room actually is, but I've already taken the lead and my pride refuses to let me look stupid in front of a woman who will be, at least for a short while, involved in my personal life. I never lose the first battle. Plus, I've been in enough homes like this to know the common general lay out. I used to take pictures for a home design magazine and learned more about architecture than I ever wanted to know.

The dining room isn't hard to find. Melody and Andy are seated next to each other and not looking too terribly friendly. Melody looks up to me as I enter the room and asks, "Can we leave now?"

What the hell did Anna do now? "What's wrong Mel?" I walk over to my little girl and bend down so that we're at eye level.

Mel takes a quick look around and I know she doesn't want to tell me with Cameron and Andy in the room. "Mel, you know that I'm more than willing to leave here with you. We can walk out and make our own fun." Mel smiles and I can tell she's remembering the way I always make our fun much better than any dinner can amount to. "I'm always more than willing to do that with you," I whisper so that she is the only one that can hear me. "But I think it's best that we stay here unless you have a really good reason to leave, and I don't think that whatever Andy might have said is a really good reason."

Anna wouldn't have said anything to hurt Melody and she's in the kitchen. Andy is a big defender of Anna and he probably said something that Melody didn't like. He probably said something about me.

Melody sighs heavily. "We should stay."

"Then we stay," I reach out and brush back the hair covering Melody's face. She turns to look at me with her big green eyes and I give her a broad smile. "You're a really good person," I tell her. "You're one of the best people I know and I love you very much."

Melody smirks. "I love you too, Mom."

Anna has always had a special sense of timing. I hear a strangled gasp from behind me and when I turn around Anna is standing there with a big bowl of food in her hands which she looks like she's about to drop.

"You're such a bitch," she gasps out to me then quickly flees the room, managing to set the food down before it ends up on the floor.

Everything having to do with my sister is a challenge. I don't want the challenge anymore. I want her to go away. I want her to disappear and I never want to see her again. My life has the possibility to be a lot easier than it is right now.

I follow Anna out of the room and end up standing outside on some balcony with her alone.


Fifteen Years Prior

Anna was surprised when Gwendolyn showed to pick her up. She ran up to her big sister and jumped into her arms. Things were always better when Gwendolyn was around. She made things fun. She made everything better.

"I thought you were working," Anna wouldn't let her sister's hand go. "Lindsey's mom was going to take me home today."

"Lindsey's mom?" Gwendolyn bent down to Anna's level. She never liked speaking from above her.

"Yeah we were going to go out to the park after school. I asked if I could."

Anna had asked her. She had asked after Gwendolyn had pulled a double shift and was forcing herself to stay awake so that she could care for her Babygirl.

"You can go with us, right? You don't have to go back to work, do you?" Anna was eager to spend as much time with Gwenie as she could. It had been a while since the last time she had gotten a chance to go to the park with her sister.

So their plans changed a little bit, that didn't matter to Gwendolyn. Today was for Anna. Every day was for Anna. "I wouldn't miss it, Babygirl."

A girl, about Anna's age ran up to the sisters and stopped short when she noticed Gwendolyn. There was something about the older girl that she hadn't ever seen in anyone that old before. It didn't frighten her though.

Anna turned away from her sister and looked at her friend. "Gwenie's coming with us," she told Lindsey with a smile.

Lindsey stepped next to her friend and looked into the eyes of Gwenie. "Hi, my name is Lindsey it's nice to meet you."

Gwendolyn smiled and held out her hand for the young girl to take. "Well hello Lindsey, I'm Gwenie. I'm so glad I get a chance to meet someone as important as you."

Lindsey was confused. How was she important? "You've captured the friendship of Babygirl," Gwendolyn explained to the young girl. "That means you're very important to me."

In the not too far distance a woman watched the trio. She had never personally seen the sister that Anna raved on about. From the way Anna told it, her sister was a super being with magical powers that could do anything. Now, standing and looking at them Ms. Gibson, Lindsey's mother, decided that perhaps Gwenie was everything Anna had built her up to be.

When Gwendolyn turned and looked over at the young brunette who looked like an older version of Lindsey, something inside Ms. Gibson screamed that this person was different. Something about Gwendolyn wasn't anything like anyone else. Just by looking at her anyone could tell that.

When Ms. Gibson had a chance to look closer at Gwendolyn she noticed it wasn't just her looks that set Gwendolyn apart from the rest. It was her personality. It jumped from her and touched everyone around her and not all of the touch felt pleasant.

Gwendolyn rose from the ground and took the hands of both Anna and Lindsey then walked over to Ms. Gibson. She had assumed that the woman staring at them was most likely related to Lindsey. Everyone else had vacated the elementary school campus. Gwendolyn smiled at Ms. Gibson, "I think these two are ready to go."

Ms. Gibson broke out of her trance of evaluation and focused on the two children who were held tightly in Gwendolyn's hands. "Well then let's go." She stepped up to Gwendolyn's side and led the way to her car. She guessed that Gwendolyn didn't have one. She didn't see her drive up in one when Gwendolyn arrived.

"I'll race you to the car," Gwendolyn told both the girls. "Whoever gets there first wins ice cream." Anna and Lindsey released Gwendolyn's hands and took off towards the parking lot. Before she took off, Gwendolyn turned to Ms. Gibson and smiled again. "Don't worry. I won't let them get hurt." Ms. Gibson believed her.

Gwendolyn ran off towards the frantic children and grabbed each of them from behind. She spun around with them firmly in her grasp.

'No,' Ms. Gibson realized. 'Gwenie would never let anything happen to her sister'.



Present Day

Anna is leaning on the balcony rail and I move next to her. The balcony faces a garden and in the daylight this view is probably really beautiful, but right now it's dark and cold. Anna could have found a better place to run off to.

"You can't blame Melody for anything," I say not sure if I even want to start a conversation here. When Anna ran away I should have grabbed Melody's hand and walked out of the house. I don't want to deal with this.

"I can blame you." Anna replies coldly. "I can blame you for a whole lot of stuff."

She can do whatever she pleases. She's become very good at it. "Blame me then, but don't put Melody in the middle."

Anna's enraged eyes turn to me. "You're the one who put her in the middle. You're the one responsible for that."

I turn my gaze back to the dark garden. "I did what I had to do, Anna. It wouldn't be fair to hold that against me. I saved Melody from you and I'm not apologizing for that."

"You poison her against me, don't you?" Anna doesn't sound angry anymore. She sounds defeated.

"You did a damn fine job of doing that all on your own."

There's precious silence for a while until Anna disrupts it. "You're right. It really sucks, but you're right. I fucked up just like my parents fucked up."

I don't think I want to have this discussion. There's no point in talking about this now. The past is the past. We don't need to tread in those waters.


Fifteen Years Prior

"You're home late," Kacia Gibson said to her new roommate. "Anna was expecting you to be home to tuck her in."

Gwendolyn believed in taking opportunities where she could find them. When she had met Kacia a few months before she had been presented an opportunity. Kacia was going through a messy divorce and she didn't have enough money to keep her house on her own so Gwendolyn stepped in. Anna deserved to live in a house.

"The shoot went a little longer than I expected." Gwendolyn sat on the couch next to Kacia. "The guy kept on losing his vigor." She gave a rakish smile. "He was a newbie."

Theoretically Kacia was against pornography. She had always been told it was evil and against all kinds of Christian values, but Gwendolyn's income had saved her from having to lose her house. Gwendolyn's income had gotten her through her divorce. Gwendolyn's income allowed for her to be home during the day when Lindsey and Anna got off school.

Kacia could get over the evil.

"You probably scared him."

Gwendolyn reached over and took the remote to the television from Kacia and turned the channel. "If I did then he deserved it."

Kacia was fifteen when she had her daughter. She married the man who had donated his seed and it was a disaster. Her life had been a long wave of disaster since she found out she was pregnant, until she met Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn had swooped in and fixed all her problems. She had been everything Anna said she was, but she wasn't all sunshine and blue skies. Kacia had learned that early on.

Gwendolyn was fierce and dangerous. Kacia was sure that the younger woman was capable of killing someone and not thinking twice about it. Gwendolyn was intense and she had a darkness to her that Kacia didn't even want to get close to.

Anna had told Kacia that their parents had died. She didn't talk about it much and often didn't say anything about where they lived before if Gwendolyn wasn't around, and Gwendolyn never spoke of their past. She didn't talk about their parents and she didn't talk about some of the scars that covered her body.

They had lived in the same house for a few months now, and Kacia thought she had a pretty good grasp on Gwendolyn's habits. She knew what Gwendolyn would eat and what she wouldn't. She knew that Gwendolyn despised watching the news, but the reason why still escaped her. She knew that Gwendolyn put Anna before anything else in her life. She knew so much but always felt she knew nothing, and it didn't seem like Gwendolyn was inclined to fill her in anytime soon.

"I'm going to check on Anna." Gwendolyn jumped off the couch and practically ran down the hallway to the room that Lindsey and Anna shared.

The motion startled Kacia into jumping up and following Gwendolyn into the children's room. When she got there she saw Anna cradled in Gwendolyn's strong arms crying.

"Just a bad dream, Babygirl." Gwendolyn whispered into Anna's hair. "I'll never let you get hurt." She picked Anna up in her arms and carried her out of the room so as not to wake the still sleeping Lindsey. She walked past Kacia like she wasn't even there. Her only focus was on Anna.

Kacia watched Gwendolyn carry Anna to her room and knew that Anna wouldn't be leaving Gwendolyn's side tonight. That in itself wasn't too unusual, but what Kacia really caught herself thinking about is how Gwendolyn knew that Anna was having a bad dream. It almost made her feel like a bad mother. She couldn't tell when Lindsey was having a bad dream unless she called out.

But Gwendolyn always knew. She could always tell what was going on with her sister. Kacia thought that Gwendolyn had to have a love for her sister that was stronger than God Himself. She believed that the younger woman could turn the world upside down for Anna and she suspected that maybe one day she actually would.


Present Day

There's no point in me standing out here on this balcony with Anna. We're not talking and even if we were we wouldn't be saying anything that meant something. It'd be the same conversation we always have. We'll exchange words of hate and then move on. We hate each other. It's simple.

"Will you drop me off at the clinic tomorrow?" Her voice is soft, but I do catch her words. I don't believe what I hear, but I do hear it.

"You must have lost your fucking mind." That's the only way I'll accept a question like that coming from her.

Anna turns away from me. "Forget I said anything."

That is a very easy request. "I thought Cameron was going to take care of all that?" I know it's in my best interest to let this subject drop. It would be in my best interest to leave. I need to walk off this balcony and get Melody and leave. Who knows what the Mendoza's are exposing her to?

"She is. She's taking care of everything and I think, maybe, it's not just because of what I did for her son."

I nod even though Anna isn't looking at me. "I suspect you might have run into a good person."

"I have," Anna easily agrees. "She's a lot better than you. Although," Anna releases a derisive snort, "I think before I told her the truth about you she might have thought you were a decent person too. She needs to know how evil you are."

I smirk. "Everyone deserves a fair warning."

"You amaze me." Anna turns around and faces me.

I'm going to guess that's not a good thing. We're not exchanging compliments here. "So what did you tell her?"

Anna smiles at me and it's not a happy smile. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

She thinks she can goad me? She can't goad me into anything. For all the hate that flows between us, Anna protects my secrets. She always has and she always will. The one understanding between us that has survived throughout the years is that if she completely fucks up my life then she and Melody go down with me.

Anna can't ruin me. As much as she might think about doing it and as much as she probably really wants to do it, she can't. Besides, I think there's still a part of her that realizes everything I did and became was so that she could have a life. She can't pay me back for that by ruining my life. She can leave that up to the people out there who want my blood.

"You shouldn't play with me, Anna." My voice drops and I take a step closer to her. "You know me too well to even think of playing with me."

For a moment, I think Anna is going to hold my gaze and fight me but she doesn't. She turns away and steps back. She has never been able to stand up to me, not when it came right down to it. Babygirl never wanted to disappoint me.

She failed miserably at that goal. I sold my soul so that she could save hers. I wish I hadn't.

"She knew a lot about you anyway," Anna says weakly. "All I needed to do is tell her your name. She said she was trying to hire you for a job."

"I met with a representative of hers today," I say to her back not even sure why I'm sharing this information with her.

Anna nods. "I know. She tried canceling the appointment. She says she doesn't want to associate herself with your brand of scum."

My hand moves to Anna's shoulder and I force her to turn and face me. "You must have told her something."

She moves out of my grip. "I told her how you got famous. I told her how you ruined lives to get your wealth."

"Does anyone get their wealth honestly?" I haven't met a person yet who has. Someone always pays for someone else's success.

"Cameron did," Anna offers.

I narrow my eyes and want to destroy how Anna sees Cameron. I want to tell her that Cameron isn't an exception to the rule. But why tell Anna that? She has to believe in someone and I stopped being that someone a long time ago.

My silence probably tells Anna more about Cameron than anything I could say would. Anna knows my silence doesn't mean I have nothing to say. "She's a good person," Anna reiterates. "I know that she's a good person and nothing you can say will change what I think about her."

I raise my left eyebrow hoping that Anna hasn't gone too far under in her hero worship in a day. Cameron has a past. She's infamous. Anna doesn't even want to know how Cameron ended up with a son, but it is a hell of a story. "You're not going to go fall in love with her are you?" That wouldn't be acceptable to me.

"No," Anna says forcefully. "No. no." she repeats weakly.

She hasn't convinced me. What has gone on between the two of them today? What have I missed?

"Listen to me Anna," whatever it is can't continue. It's easy to spot how bad of an idea this is. "I'm not a matchmaker. Whatever lust you have going on for her, you need to get rid of it. You can not get involved with Cam Mendoza. I gave you her number so that she could help you not fuck you."

"Who are you to tell me who I can do what with?" Anna's hands go to her hips and there's finally some conviction in her voice. She just might be standing up to me. I'm not sure if I like it. I never have.

"Anna, it's about time you stopped making bad decisions." This conversation is over. I turn to the balcony door and step back into the house. "People always pay for them, even if they're innocent." I say over my shoulder before I walk away from her and leave her in the cool night air looking over the dark garden.

Anna's a smart girl and she knows exactly what I mean.


Continued...