Part 9

Present Day

I've been looking for my damn fucking fucked up sister for the last two hours. Anna is making a real effort to avoid me and stay in hiding. What is it exactly that she thinks she can accomplish here? Melody doesn't want to stay with her. Melody doesn't want to have anything to fucking do with her. I can only hope that Anna has reached a state of complete insanity from the lack of drugs in her system.

Is this about sympathy? Is that what she fucking wants from me? Well, damn her. Damn her and her 'disease' her 'addiction' or what the hell the doctors are trying to call whatever it is that is a simple result from someone's inability to make good decisions. They call it a disease while I say it's really just a consequence, one I'm tired of paying for.

My phone rings and it startles me when it starts to vibrate in the palm of my hand. I've been sitting in my car waiting for someone to report back to me about the whereabouts of Anna and Melody. With all the people that work for me I've got the whole city crawling with people on the lookout. Melody's school even thought it prudent to call the police and so they're out there doing their best to help out too.

Cameron's tried to call me once but I decided not to answer my phone when I saw her number. It wouldn't be a very good idea for her to talk to me right now, especially if she's double checking to make sure I don't hurt Anna in any way. I don't feel I'm in the mind frame to make any promises to abstain from violence.

"Yeah?" I answer my phone after looking at it for a good moment getting ready for what might be the news from the person on the other end.

"We traced her to Cameron Mendoza's residence."

I'm going to fucking kill both of them.

Thirteen Years Prior

She had a feeling that she was getting older and it wasn't a good kind of getting older either. She didn't feel older and wiser. She didn't feel like she had a better understanding of herself or the world she was in. Gwendolyn was just feeling tired and run down and old. She didn't have the same amounts of energy that she used to have. It was almost like she was being pushed gently off the edge of her own previous foundations and she had no idea where she was going to land or if she was going to land at all.

"Gwenie, can you help me with my homework?" But she would always be there for her Babygirl.

Gwendolyn wiped at her eyes, and did her best to swipe away the depression she had felt herself falling into. "You still having problems with your multiplication tables, Sweetie?"

Anna nodded and climbed up on her sister's bed. "I'm getting better. I know all my threes now."

"You do?" Gwendolyn forced excitement into her words. "Well I want to hear them."

Anna's face scrunched up. "But you already know them."

"Maybe I've forgotten. It's been a long time since I studied my threes."

"Mrs. Knight says we should study a lot 'cause if we don't then we'll forget and then won't be able to do the math the older kids do." Anna stopped talking and took a moment to think about what she had just said. "Is that true, Gwenie?"

Gwendolyn nodded solemnly. "It's true, Babygirl. I haven't studied at all and can't remember my threes."

"I can teach them to you again, if you want?" Anna offered shyly. Although, inside she was excited with the opportunity to teach her big sister something.

"I'd love that, Babygirl."

"Okay," the younger girl smiled so brightly that it covered her entire face. She felt like she was doing something for her big sister that meant something, that was important.

So they sat together for a few hours and Anna went through not only the threes on the multiplication table but went through the fours, fives, sixes, sevens, eights and nines too. Anna did her best to make sure that her sister knew everything she needed to know so that she could do the math the older kids were supposed to be doing, but while she was teaching Gwenie a question came to her.

Gwendolyn used to go to school, before they had to move. Gwendolyn was always really good in school, or so Anna thought. Anna thought Gwendolyn was the smartest person in the world, because Gwendolyn had an answer for and to everything. She had to be the smartest since she could fool all the real adults.

"Are you going to go back to school now, Gwenie?" Anna asked. "You can go back to school now, can't you? Allison can take care of both of us, and I'll do my best to help you with your homework. We can study together like we used to."

"I can't go back to school, Babygirl. Allison needs help paying for everything." Gwendolyn gave the answer she thought her sister could understand. She didn't know how to explain to a child that if she went back to school then everyone would know that she had been lying about everything. She didn't know how to explain to her Babygirl that her trying to go back to being a normal teenager again would be a confession to everyone around them.

Anna pushed her school books and her school papers away from them. She sat closer to her sister, to her hero, and wrapped her small arm around Gwendolyn's waist. "When I grow up," she whispered, "I'm going to take care of you. I'll make sure you can go to school."

"Hey," Gwendolyn wrapped her arms around Anna. "You already take care of me, Babygirl. You just helped me with understanding the multiplication table, and yesterday you served me breakfast in bed. You're the reason why I wake up every morning, Babygirl. You're my hero."

"I am?" Anna pushed herself out of her sister's embrace so that she could look into Gwendolyn's eyes.

"Of course you are. You're the bravest person I know, Babygirl." Gwendolyn ran her hand through her sister's blond hair. "I know you say that when you grow up you want to be like me, but I really think that when you grow up you should just stay like the person you already are. Right now you're already ten times the person I am."

Present Day

I don't remember how fast I was driving to get across town to Cameron's mansion but it was at least fast enough to get here in twenty minutes. I don't bother to pull into her driveway; I just pull up to the curb and barely remember to shut off the engine before I jump out of the car.

The front door opens before I reach it. Cameron's standing there and I have an urge to pull out the gun I have tucked in the waistband of my jeans. The only thing right now saving her life is that Melody might be inside right now and I don't want her to be a witness to me murdering someone.

"I thought you said you didn't know about anything?" I say as soon as I'm close enough to see the slight fear in the woman's eyes. "You're a lot stupider than you look."

My intentions are to just push past her but she has her feet planted and she stops me as soon as my hands make contact with her body. "You've got to calm down, Gwendolyn." She looks down at my curled fists. "The children are inside. Neither of them should see you like this."

"Where's Anna?" Slowly I uncurl my fists and do my absolute best to control some of my rage.

"She's waiting for you to show up. She…she wants to apologize to you before she goes back to the clinic."

And after saying something like that, Cameron actually wants me to fucking calm down? She's delusional. There's no apologizing for this. I don't give a damn what Anna's reasons might be for fucking up this time. Temporary insanity won't even work for her. Someone putting a fucking gun to her head won't even work.

"She wants to apologize?"

Cameron takes a deep breath and her body tenses even more. Apparently whatever it is she's thinking about saying to me right now, isn't going to help me calm down. She should just remain silent. "You should at least hear her out."

What? Seriously, what? Hear the bitch out? I don't think I can do that this time. I reach for the gun and pull it out. Cameron's eyes widen and she gets in a defensive stance. She looks a little more afraid of me now. Maybe she finally understands just how dangerous I really am. "You should take this." I hand the gun over. "I'm not too sure I've completely talked myself out of killing you and Anna yet."
After she takes hold of my firearm, I don't let her stop me from pushing past her. I yell out for Melody and she comes running to me. As soon as she's in my arms she starts crying and telling me that she was scared. She says that she threatened Anna and told her that I would come and would hurt her for taking Melody. Melody says that she screamed the whole time she was with Anna.

"You're safe now, Baby." I whisper to her. "Nothing bad is going to happen." Cameron better be very thankful that I gave her my gun. "Where's Anna?"

Melody tells me her biological mother is upstairs somewhere. I tell her to stay put and then make my way to the second floor of Cameron's house. There are a lot of bedrooms but I'm lucky because the first door I shove open has Anna in it. She's lying down on a fairly comfortable looking bed and I could swear that she's asleep.

If I were her right now I think sleep would be the last thing that would cross my mind. Running away to a foreign country would most likely be at the top of my list. It would be especially at the top of my list if I were my own sister. "Get the fuck up." I kick at the edge of the bed making the headboard slam into the wall.

Anna jumps up and looks around like she doesn't quite know where she is. Eventually her eyes settle on mine and finally the terror I've wanted to see from her appears in her dull green eyes. She jumps off of the bed and looks around frantically. There's no place for her to run and she must figure that out because she stops her nervous vibrations and starts breathing normally. She looks right at me and crosses her arms in front of her. "What do you want?" she asks doing her absolute best to sound genuinely annoyed. "Can't you at least let me sleep?"

"I really wouldn't fuck with me right now, Anna." I've kept my spot right at the edge of the bed. If I move then I might actually attack her.

"Of course I wouldn't want to do that," she sounds sarcastic. "You're the Almighty and no one should ever make you upset."

"Is this seriously the defense mechanism against me that you thought would be best right now?" My hands are starting to shake so I shove them in the front pockets of my jeans before Anna gets a chance to notice them.

"What does it matter now?" Her hands drop down to her sides. "You've already taken everything from me; why not just take my life too."

"You know what, Anna?" I bring my hands out of my pockets happy that they've so quickly stopped shaking. "I don't want to do this with you." I can feel something inside of me just give up. It's probably that last bit of something that was inside of me that brought me to her hospital room when I was called. It's that last something that made me pay the hospital bill, that snuck her Cameron's number, that did so many things when I promised myself that I was already done. "I can't keep up with you anymore. So fine. I accept full responsibility for everything that has gone wrong in your life, okay? It's all my fault and I'm a horrible person and I did you enormous wrongs. And so I'm done now, Anna. I'm taking Melody and I'm going to leave." I turn away from her and walk to the threshold of the bedroom door. "Take care of yourself, because I'm certainly not going to anymore." I say over my shoulder before I reach out and grab the door knob to shut Anna out of my life for good.

I make it to the staircase before Anna's voice calls after me. She says that she's sorry and tries to explain to me that she felt like she didn't have any other choice. She says that she really wasn't going to run away with Melody she just wanted to spend a little bit of time with her. I can't bother to listen to her anymore. It won't do either one of us any good. "Goodbye," I stop her words with my own then make my way back downstairs. Melody seeks me out and asks me to take her home.

As we leave, I don't bother to talk to Cameron and choose to completely ignore anything Anna tries to say to me. I make sure Melody is settled in the back seat then get in the front and drive away. As I drive, I make a note to change my phone numbers and even contemplate whether the trouble of moving into another house would be worth it.

I've been forced to completely disappear before, I'm sure I could do it again.

Thirteen Year Prior

Gwendolyn's band started to become known so she quit. She didn't feel it would be a good idea to begin getting recognized. If Gwendolyn suddenly became rich and famous she knew that would be more than enough incentive to unearth her mother, and she couldn't have that. It would ruin all of the careful lies Gwendolyn had created if suddenly some pathetic woman showed up yelling out that Gwendolyn and Anna were her daughters. That would be the sort of thing that would spur the interest of news media organizations that Gwendolyn knew she needed to stay away from.

Normally, Gwendolyn didn't allow herself to think about what was going on with her mother. She'd rather not let herself believe that her mother had gotten into another relationship and already had another couple of kids that she would treat just as badly as she had treated Gwendolyn and Anna. Gwendolyn knew that she couldn't save all of her mother's offspring. She was hardly certain that she would be successful in saving herself and Anna.

No. That wasn't exactly true. Gwendolyn was positive that she could save Anna. She was positive that at least Anna would grow up and become someone that even their mother would be proud of. Anna was the one that was getting all the good chances at life. She went to good schools and had lots of friends that came over to their house and ate dinner at their table and enjoyed something 'normal'.

Anna was the one that was going to make it. Gwendolyn would give up everything of hers and everything inside of her to make sure that happened. That was how it was going to happen and she couldn't be convinced otherwise.

When Allison had moved in with them, she had warned Gwendolyn that it was dangerous to give too much of herself to Anna. Gwendolyn didn't pay attention to the warning. She didn't feel the need to, because she was convinced that she knew what she was doing and she knew who she was doing it for and that's all that mattered. She even admitted to Allison that she understood what a bad role model was and was determined not to repeat her mother's mistakes.

Allison started asking Gwendolyn about her mother. She started to pry in places that Gwendolyn shut down years ago so that she could survive and be there for Anna. Allison started putting ideas in Gwendolyn's mind that she perhaps should care where her mother was and what it was her mother was doing. Gwendolyn said she hoped their mother was dead. She knew that Anna's and her future would be a lot less complicated if their mother just died.

Eventually, Allison's words started to seep through Gwendolyn's hate and Gwendolyn started to recognize the threat her mother still posed to her. What if one day Jena decided to get a conscience and seek out her missing daughters?

Gwendolyn announced to the household that she was going to take a short vacation and would be back in a few days. Anna wanted to go with her; she had never been apart from Gwendolyn ever before. Gwendolyn convinced her to stay, bribing her with a cheerful reunion that was sure to consist of lots of gifts. Allison couldn't be bribed away with the simple promise of gifts, however. She couldn't be threatened either.

So when Gwendolyn went back into her past, Allison was with her. She first went to her old house, to see if her mother had bothered to stay there. She wouldn't have called it good luck when she saw her mother entering the front door. Most of her being really wanted to discover that Jena was dead and buried in some crappy grave in some forgotten graveyard that was overrun with weeds.

"That's her?" Allison asked as she saw the look in Gwendolyn's eyes as the young woman stared at the woman entering the house.

"In the flesh." Gwendolyn shifted her stance, more than ready to run away in case her mother turned around and recognized her.

Allison reached out and grabbed onto Gwendolyn's hand, hoping that her hold would keep Gwendolyn in place. "Anna looks exactly like her."

"It's better than looking like her father," Gwendolyn murmured.

Not knowing much about Anna's father, Allison thought it best she agree with Gwendolyn. "I'll take your word for it." Allison grasped Gwendolyn's hand tighter and made a cautious move towards the house. She didn't get far since Gwendolyn wouldn't move.

"What are you doing?" Gwendolyn asked, not yet sure if she should tear her hand out of Allison's grasp.

"You have to talk to her," Allison reasoned. "That is what you came here for isn't it?"

"I hadn't really planned that far," Gwendolyn admitted. "I was hoping she was just dead."

Allison knew that Gwendolyn wasn't kidding. "You have to talk to her, Gwen. You have to find out if she's ever planning to do anything about your and Anna's disappearance. You're an adult now, but Anna isn't."

"She's already been proven unfit, there's not way she could get Anna."

"How do you know she's still unfit?" Anna carefully asked. "How do you know she didn't turn her life completely around when she lost her husband and two children on the same night?"

"Fine." Gwendolyn ripped her hand away from Allison's. She marched up to the front door of her former residence and raised her hand to knock. Her hand stayed raised for a full minute before Allison grabbed onto Gwendolyn's fist and lowered it down between their bodies. Gwendolyn gave her a harsh look but kept silent.

"I'll knock," Allison offered as she raised her free hand and quickly knocked on the door before Gwendolyn had the chance to stop her.

This time it was Gwendolyn who tightened her hold on Allison's hand as they waited for the door to be opened. It took a few moments, but eventually the door swung open and Jena nearly dropped the toddler that was in her arms when she realized who it was standing on the other side of her door.

"Gwen?"

"I see you've spawned another," Gwendolyn said as she nodded her head towards the young boy.

"Yeah." Jena gathered herself together and smiled at her daughter. "This is your new little brother, Mika," she turned her attention to the toddler. "Say hi to your sister, Mika."

"That's not necessary," Gwendolyn pushed her way past her mother, her hand still holding firmly onto Allison's. She made her way into the house and was surprised to see that the décor had changed significantly. Gone was the old stained couch and a chocolate leather one was in its place. The television was new too. It was bigger than the last one. "I think I need to sit down," Gwendolyn fell into the new couch, and drug Allison with her.

Jena settled on a loveseat across from them. She put Mika on the ground and let him run around. They sat awkwardly staring at each other for a while until Jena decided to break the silence, "So what happened to you, Gwen? What'd you do with your sister? CPS told me you two ran off."

"I'm taking care of her." Gwendolyn did her best to relax. She didn't really want to get in a yelling match with her mother, not so soon at least. "She's doing really well. She's grown up a lot, straight A student and all that."

"That's good," Jena started to pick at her fingernails. "That's really good. And you? You did good in school? Graduated?"

"No," Gwendolyn shook her head. "I don't really have time for school." She didn't feel the need to mention that the identity that she had lived for the last few years had a high school education and even a few years of college credit.

"I'm sorry, Gwen." Jena sounded genuinely remorseful. "You should have gotten a chance to finish school. You were always real smart, like your daddy." She turned her attention to Allison. "You the one who took in my girls?"

"No," Allison answered softly. "I think it was more the other way around. They opened their home up to me."

"We didn't run to anyone, Mom. We didn't have anyone to run to." Gwendolyn's anger was finally starting to make an appearance. "I had to take care of everything. I got us a place to stay and I made sure there was food to eat, and I did it without fucking some asshole who thought it was a good idea to beat on me."

Jena looked like she had been physically slapped. "I'm sorry, Gwen. But things are different now. I got me some help when they took you and Anna away. I'm doing a lot better now. I've got a steady job and I make good money. I even got my associates degree."

Gwendolyn's eyes narrowed. "Then it looks like I did us both a favor by killing that bastard."

Present Day

When my door bell rings well past late at night it doesn't quite manage to annoy me since I've not been able to sleep at all. What annoys me is that Cameron Mendoza actually has the audacity to show up on my doorstep after everything that happened today. She should consider herself lucky that I decided not to burn down her house as I left.

"What is it you want Cammie?" I'm really not in the mood for an argument and since I've been sipping on some whiskey ever since Melody was able to fall asleep for the night, I don't think I'm in any real condition to try and have a physical showdown.

"Can I come in? I'd like to talk to you."

Well she certainly seems sincere enough in her intentions. I step away from the door and walk back into my living room where my bottle of whiskey and shot glass has patiently been waiting for my return. I fall back into my couch and make myself comfortable. Cameron follows me and even has the nerve to sit down next to me.

"Was the bottle full when you started?" She asks as she points at the half empty or half full bottle, depending on how one might look at it, sitting in front of me.

"I'm pretty sure it was." I lean forward and carefully pour more whiskey into my empty glass then hand it over to Cameron. "It'll make your apology easier to say." She takes it and quickly downs the liquid. She puts the glass back down on the coffee table and I contemplate whether or not I should pour myself another shot so that I'm more in the mood to accept whatever kind of apology Cameron has come here to give me.

"If someone had taken my son like that then I would have probably killed them." Is she trying to bond with me in my pain? I'm not into that sort of thing.

"Yet," I chuckle, "you harbored my sister when she did it. I don't recall getting a phone call from you telling me she was crashing at your place."

Cameron runs her hand through her hair then reaches out and pours herself another shot. "I wanted to give you a chance to call you herself, but as I recall you didn't pick up your phone."

I choose to ignore the fact that she's correct. I didn't pick up my phone when I saw her number. "Noble," I reach out and take the glass from her hand and drink the burning liquid myself, "but completely misguided." I put the glass back down and pour more whiskey into it, and put the glass back into Cameron's hand. "Anna's too afraid of me to admit her mistakes to me these days. I just catch her; she never confesses."

Cameron takes her second shot but keeps the glass in her hand this time. "She needs a lot of help."

No shit Sherlock. "You still singing her praises?"

"She went back to the clinic."

And that means what? Should she get a nice fucking gold star or something? "She's lucky you're not just using the word clinic as a clever euphemism for jail."

"She really does want to get better. It'd probably help a lot if you started to believe in her again."

Cameron looks like she expects me to hit her now or something. "I don't get it." I move further away from her on the couch, but I don't feel like getting violent. Alcohol has the unusual effect of actually reigning in my aggressive tendencies. She's lucky I've almost drunk an entire bottle of whiskey. "I don't understand how you can continue to be her cheerleader after everything."

She reaches out, picks up the bottle of whiskey and refills the glass. She drinks it before meeting my steady gaze again. "I had a sister. She died. You've still got yours."

I start laughing while I silently curse at myself in my head. "So this isn't even about her," I say through my laughter. "This is about you and your dead sibling. You're trying to get me to recognize that having a sister who is Anna is better than not having one at all. Who the fuck do you think you are exactly?"

Cameron pours herself another shot. "I'm the one who you wanted to help your sister. I'm just trying to do that, and neither of you are making that easy for me."

Yeah, that's right she has her own life. She should get back to that and walk right the fuck out of mine. "You know what I wish, Cammie? I really wish she would just die. I do, really, that's very sincere."

"You don't know what you're saying." Cameron drinks the whiskey.

"But I do." I protest and just now realize that I probably shouldn't have even started this conversation. I should have shut the door on Cameron and continued drinking alone in my silence. Now isn't the best time to be drunk and sharing my life story with someone I don't care that much for, but the whiskey already has me talking. "I had someone in my life that I cared for very much. I mean, she was the only person in the world that really made me do better, and you see even my Babygirl couldn't make me do that. I just wanted to take care of Babygirl no matter what it took. Do you want to know what happened to her? Do you want to know what happened to Allison?"

Cameron looks like she wants to tell me 'no' but she can't tell me 'no'. She came here to my house at two in the morning and she wanted to be the fucking bringer of 'I know it all'. "What happened to her, Gwendolyn?"

"Anna was high and upset at me for taking her off of my bank account. She didn't have any more money and so she came to our home with a gun so she could get it from me. She was out of control and when I wouldn't give her the money she pointed the gun at Allison and shot her." Suddenly I'm feeling quite sober. "She told me she didn't know that the gun was loaded and I believed her. I took care of Allison's body but Anna didn't get her money."

I get up from the couch and move across the room to the fireplace. Allison's picture is on the mantel and for the life of me I can't remember why I put it there. "Why?" Cameron asks me.

"Because I've always taken care of Babygirl," I tell Allison's picture. "Even at the expense of the only person in the world who wanted to take care of me and wanted to give me a chance at life. She may have not been my blood sister, but she sure felt like the best sister I could have ever had." I turn back to Cameron. "And I've continued to help out Anna even though ever since that day I've wanted her dead. So stop fucking judging me and for once take the excuses away from Anna."

"Do you really want to have lost both of them?" Cameron puts the glass down on the table and stands up. "Would that really make everything better?"

"I'm tired of trying to make things better."

"I know that feeling."

The sad thing is that she probably does. The sadder thing is that I'm actually starting to not hate her so much and I really want to hate her. If I start feeling things other than hate then things could start getting a lot more complicated. I'm trying to cut back on the complications in my life.

Cameron turns away from me finally having figured out that I'm not going to respond to her. "I should go home."

"No you shouldn't." I take a couple of steps towards her. "You've probably had too much to drink."

"You mean you don't want me to walk out of here and end up in a horrendous car accident that will end my life?"

Well when she puts it that way. "Yes of course I want that, but you're the only one that Anna has on her side these days so I'll show you to the guest room."

I walk past her and up the stairs and lead her to the room that is farthest from my own. I rather not feel like she's in my house at all when I sleep. I open the door and point out the general direction of the bathroom and where she can find spare clothes if she feels the need to change.

"Thanks," she tells me as I walk out.

"You're lucky I was already drunk when you showed up." I close the door behind me and go to my own room. I take a shower and change into clothes that don't smell like I've been in them all day running around trying to find out what happened to my daughter. Before I lay down on my bed, I remember that I left the whiskey out and go back downstairs to put it away. I don't want Melody waking up and seeing it. She prefers me not to drink at all. She's afraid I'll become an alcoholic and start acting like her biological mother.

I get downstairs and am a little surprised to see Cameron downstairs with the whiskey bottle in her hand. "I thought we were done with that part of the evening." I say as I slide onto the couch next to her.

"I thought so too." She hands out the full shot glass to me but I refuse it. I'm not in the mood to start drinking again and spilling out my secrets.

"Put the bottle away somewhere when you're done if there's any left," I tell her then stand up fully intent on going back to my room and going to sleep.

Cameron must have something else in mind since she stops me with, "I don't want you to quit my tour."

I have no idea why she would want to talk about this now, so it must be the whiskey talking. "Why is that, Cammie?"

"I think I need you to help me."

The urge to walk away is very strong but I keep my feet planted. "With what?"

"I'm in trouble again." She takes another shot of whiskey.

"Is that why you really came here tonight?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I didn't want to bring it up but then you actually showed me you were human and fucked up everything."

I don't really like the sound of that but decide that I need to sit down and listen to what she's about to confess to me. I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that whatever it is she's going to tell me I'm not going to like it. Maybe I should reconsider taking that shot.


To Be Continued...