Standard Disclaimer: The characters of Xena and Gabrielle do not belong to me. The folks at Renaissance Pictures/MCA have allowed me to borrow them for a short time.
Violence Disclaimer: None nary a broken fingernail.
Sex/Language: Yes indeedy. The women still have a bad case of potty mouth. There is a sexual relationship between two women in this story. They are in love and express that love explicitly. If you are not 21 years of age, I suggest you move along. If you live in a state or province where this type of material in illegal, DO NOT READ THIS STORY!!! Don’t read this story at work, or you may not have a job very long.
Hurt/Comfort: Hanky alert! Not so much in this part, but there will be in the succeeding parts, so be warned. I tried to write this story as close to real life as possible, and in real life bad things happen to good people. Whoever said life was fair.
‘Circle of Life’ part one is the seventh in the ‘Lost and Found Series’, who would have thought I’d go this far. Stace, Becca and the rest of the family are hanging in there. I have continued to get great feedback from you the readers. I appreciate everyone who has made suggestions and comments. The stories are all connected, so if you don’t read the previous six, you won’t understand what’s going on. If you want to make constructive comments my address is fantasy@clarkston.com. Parts two and three will follow shortly. Later. Fantasy.
The Circle of Life
by
Fantasy
October 22, 2000
Chapter 1: What Now?
How long we sat there I had no way of knowing; I was numb. My senses no longer functioned. I sat there stroking my lover’s hair, holding her to me, thinking however erroneously, we could prevent the pain and agony to follow simply if we didn’t let it in. As long as death didn’t touch us, we would be safe from its grasp. If we simply ignored it, I reasoned it would go away; together we were stronger than death. I wouldn’t let it touch her; not my angel; not my Becca. I rocked her trying to let her know, however feebly my attempts might be, that we could get through this. Hadn’t we always succeeded when everyone else said we wouldn’t? A faint knock brought me back to horrible reality. I knew I should answer the door; I should make some sort of response, but I couldn’t, nothing worked. Some moments passed before the door opened a crack and a blonde head appeared.
"Mom? Are you guys okay? You’ve been in here fore three hours." Three hours?
I suddenly realized the room was growing dark. I glanced out the window to see the California sun dipping silently toward the horizon. I motioned for our little girl to come into the room.
"C’mere pumpkin," I said gently. I untangled myself from my wife and opened my arms to our baby. Finally for the first time in those three hours, Becca moved to swallow up our daughter into our embrace. Now the three of us sat there wrapped in the warm cocoon of our love in the growing darkness.
"Oh mamma what are we gonna do? Grams is dying." I waited for an instant to see whether or not Becca would respond. My angel stroked Sydnee’s fine golden tresses lovingly, trying to comfort our child.
"Sweetheart…I don’t know…I just don’t know." That was all she said before the tears claimed us again and we gave in to the overwhelming grief and agony that pervaded the room. It wasn’t long before the rest of the family nosed their way into the room, and lay down next to us. They too felt the pain we were experiencing. I wonder if dogs cry tears. We sat there, the five of us, until I knew we had to move, if for no other reason to get the blood circulating in our cramped limbs.
"Baby, darling, we have to get up. C’mon, let me take to bed where you’ll be more comfortable." For a moment, my angel said nothing, then finally she spoke.
"I can’t; if I go out there, I’ll have to face them. I just can’t do it. Oh Stace, please baby, don’t make me do this. I can’t, I just can’t!" Don’t cry my love please don’t cry.
"Angel, we can’t hide from this. It won’t let us. We have to face this. Oh sweetheart, I won’t let you go I’ll be with you always. Do you trust me?" A little nod. "Do you trust us?" Another slight nod. "Do you trust our love?" This time a stronger motion in the affirmative. So far so good. "Then trust me when I tell you I love you and we will get through this together. Together we will survive, even in death. The three of us will come through this stronger than before." My angel was silent for a little bit. I wiped the tears from my lover’s cheeks. I placed delicate kisses on each cheek before I claimed my wife’s lips tenderly. I tried to let my kiss transfer all the love and strength I possessed in my entire being to hers.
"Stace, don’t let go of me." Thank God.
"Never my love," I whispered.
Syd got up first and stretched her cramped painful muscles. Nip and Tuck climbed to their feet as well. I stroked my wife’s inky black tresses and kissed her head lovingly. I rose slowly, but managed to stay upright long enough for the blood to again circulate through my shaky legs. I extended my hand to my angel. She grasped my hand as though it was a lifeline to a drown- ing soul, and probably in fact it was. I lifted my darling into my arms and held her close to me. At length I raised my wife’s chin to gaze in her red, swollen tear filled eyes.
"Ready?" Fear and uncertainty reflected in her eyes, but still she nodded.
"Yes," she murmured, "as long as you are with me." She turned to Syd. "I need both of you." Syd tumbled into her mother’s arms, and I clutched both of them to my breast. Okay, I can do this.
"Let’s go talk to your folks, ‘kay?" God, help me be strong, for them, please.
We walked out to the living room where Harley and Angie were seated on the couch, doing much the same thing we had been doing in Becca’s studio. Harley had explained our disappearance to our friends. And between the three couples along with Ange, the barbecue that didn’t happen was cleaned up and put away. Angie immediately opened her arms for her little girl, and Becca fell into them. When Angie had talked to Becca the first time, my wife had refused to even listen to the grim prognosis. She adamantly refused to even consider Angie’s impending mortality. She was in total denial that Angie could have a condition that might cause her death and there was nothing that could be done to prevent the hand of death touching a woman who meant the world to her.
"There, there my little one, don’t cry. Your eyes will be swollen shut before long. You look like you got into a boxing ring with…oh…the one who bites. Harley what’s his name?" Harley supplied the missing name.
"Mike Tyson." Angie chuckled.
"Yes that’s it. Mike Tyson. Now my beautiful Rebecca you listen to me. All of you: Sydnee René, Stacey Lynn, come here and sit down. I want you all to understand something very important to me. I love you all very much; you have given this old woman more joy than you could ever imagine. But you have to understand that as much as I love you, I will not allow you, any of you…she looked straight at me…to tell me how to live, or die." Becca started to protest, but Angie continued on. "I have talked to just about every doctor in Los Angeles, even a fancy heart specialist in San Francisco. They all said the same thing. And frankly I’m damn tired of being poked and prodded. I’ve had enough! No more! The tests I have tomorrow will tell me just what I can and can’t do. Then as Dr. McGregor so aptly pointed out, with diet and moderate exercise, I could live for quite some time." Hey this is one tough broad!
"Angie who did you see in San Francisco? Was Dr. Charles Francis?" Angie nodded.
"Yes he was quite a nice young man. About your age I’d say. He said I had a nice bod!" Harley about choked.
"Nice bod! Why that little punk, I’ll give him a nice bod all right. A black and blue one." Angie touched Harley’s arm lightly easing his temper. She sure had a way about her. I see so much of her in my angel.
"Harley really! I’m sure he has a nice young woman he’s interested in, not some old woman." If you only knew.
"Um…actually…uh he’s gay Angie." Then a thought came to me. "Maybe it was Harley’s bod he was interested in?" I’d try anything to lighten the mood and get a smile from my angel. Syd was the first to react.
"Mom really, gramps?" The way she said it wasn’t the way she intended. But Harley’s reaction was the least expected.
"What the hell do you mean gramps?" Harley mimicked. I saw my opening and took it.
"What’s the matter Harley? Jealous?" Harley was in ex-marine ire mode now.
"Jealous hell! I’d be waaayyy tooo much man for that punk ta handle any day of the week." Syd grunted, I smirked, Angie chuckled, and my angel laughed, out loud, repeatedly. Maybe it was shock, hysteria, I don’t know, but soon the five of us were laughing and rolling around until tears slid down our cheeks and we were holding our sides.
"I wonder what the good doctor would say if he knew his sexual prefer-ence was a subject that caused this much laughter?" I chuckled, finally getting some control of myself. Angie, the voice of reason, was the first to use our laughter as a way to get back to the terrible subject at hand.
"There you see, laughter is the best medicine." Then she whispered to Becca. "But don’t tell the doctor there, she thinks her prescriptions do the most good. We don’t want her to feel bad." God what will we do without this woman if she does go? Damn good question.
"Mother, I don’t want you to die. I’ll miss you so." Becca snuggled deeper into her mother’s warm, loving embrace.
"Sweetheart, I don’t want to die either, but I have lived a good life. I’ve watched my children grow…the plural of child didn’t go unnoticed by me…and I have a beautiful, smart, and talented granddaughter. I have a loving protective husband. I am a very happy woman, and let me tell you, I don’t plan to just give up, but I don’t want to be poked and prodded and cut open or anything else. Do you under-stand that darling?" Becca nodded.
"Yes mother, I don’t want you to suffer either, I want what you want. Stace was right. She knew you wouldn’t just give up. And I’m sorry I overre-acted. It was such a shock, and it scared me so badly…I…I well I panicked." I stroked my lover’s hair and leaned in to kiss the raven crown.
"Honey, you had a natural reaction. Anybody would have reacted the same way. God I did to. Harley had to all but hold me down. I was ready to start looking for heart donors." Next Syd entered the conversation.
"Mother I didn’t handle things any better. I ran all the way to the point and stood there beating up a rock." The tension in the room was definitely becoming less and less.
"Well I ain’t gonna tell ya what I did little one. But let’s just say it wasn’t very smart." I bet a Harley Davidson and a bottle of scotch and his old ex marine buddy was involved. No doubt. All right, what do we do?
"Angie, just exactly what did Dr. Francis tell you?" I kicked into doctor mode. I really wasn’t sure I wanted straight answers, but I needed to be pre-pared. I plan to give Charles a call first thing in the morning and have a little professional chat.
"Stacey dear it was some long fancy name, I’m not sure what it was." Angie seemed suddenly very tired and frail, something I hadn’t noticed until just now. Harley encased his world protectively.
"Do we have to go through this now?" The edge to Harley’s voice carried a certain ominous tone to it that said the ex-marine was about to explode. He let me know, in no uncertain terms, I was tredding on dangerous ground. Fortunately, Angie stemmed the volcano before it erupted.
"Now Harley, calm yourself. They need to know everything. The doctor said it would take all of us to help me through this. Stacey, Dr. Francis said I have hyp…hypo…no that’s not it. Let me think. Hyper…hypertr…oh I get so confused sometimes. Hypertrop…" Poor Angie. I knew how she felt. I was a doctor, and I had trouble with some of the terminology.
"Angie was it hypertrophic cardiomyopathy? Does that sound right?" Angie’s eyes lit up instantly.
"Yes, yes that’s it! Stacey, you’re a wonder! Harley isn’t she? How do you doctor’s remember all these diseases and treatments? It’s amazing." Harley grunted brusquely.
"Yes babe, she’s a wonder." The slight note of sarcasm was not lost on me. "Now smart…um…Mac what the hell does all this medical mumbo jumbo mean?" Well from what I knew for sure, it wasn’t always fatal, so that’s good.
"Well what I do know, and from the research I’ve seen, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is a thickening of the heart muscle. People who have high blood pressure and athletes who train excessively are susceptible to this disease; another way is genetics. Some research indicates the condition can be heredi-tary. Eyes opened wide, and stared at me, the obvious question on everyone’s face.
"Does this mean my little girl could get this from me too?" Angie was suddenly very frightened, she grasped Becca to her in reflex, but her fear wasn’t for herself, but for her daughter. I touched Angie’s arm gently to reassure her.
"Don’t worry, Becca is fine. If she had inherited this condition, it would have surfaced by now, especially as athletically fit as she is. Sometimes, there is no apparent reason for this. Did the Admiral or your mother have this too? Angie thought for a minute.
"No Stacey, not that I know of." Well this was enough for today. It was getting late and we were all exhausted.
"I think we’ve all been through enough for one day; let’s all go to bed. We’ll feel better after a good night’s rest." All heads’s nodded in unison. God I had a lot to do to hold this family together. I knew I wouldn’t be alone. Harley would be there to support me. When the chips were down, he always came through. I only hoped I would be strong enough for him too when the time came.
Syd kissed everyone goodnight and took the dogs to bed with her. Becca remained in her mother’s arms for some time. God she’s never had to go through this before. Until her accident, she never had a day of abject sorrow in her life. I guess, when it came right down to it, I never have either. I never lost anyone who ever meant a damn thing to me either. What can I say to my be- loved to make it easier for her? I had moved over to stand in front of the win- dow and gazed out onto the dark water and beyond. What I was looking for I had no earthly idea. Big beefy arms encircled me from behind and a deep baritone resonated in my ear. Age hadn’t yet diminished any of the masculine qualities of this man. Would Angie’s death? I wonder.
"It’s the shits ain’t it?" That’s sure as hell an understatement. Well I guess things could be a lot worse.
"It’s just so damned unfair. Why do people we love have to die? The people who always do good things in their lives. They bring only joy, never sorrow or hurt. It seems all the assholes of the world live forever spreading their hate and pain, and never get so much as a scratch. Fuck! It’s just so…I’m so…God I don’t know!" Harley filled in the blanks.
"You’re mad as hell, ready to kick anybody’s ass that comes near, tear something to shreds, that about cover it?" Yeah something like that.
"How’d ya know?" Great minds think alike?
"Cause that’s the way I feel." Harley dammit! I turned to face the man who had been my father, coach, conscience, friend, and enemy for all these years. I realized just how much time we’d wasted bickering. Now it was time to mend some fences.
"Harley, I know I’ve never said this before, and now it may be of small consolation, but if you lose…if Angie…oh hell. What I’m trying to tell you is I love you. I will be here for you no matter how things turn out. I’m gonna need your help too; I know I can count on you." God that sounded so stupid.
"Stacey I knew the first time I saw you, you’d be trouble. But I also saw an angry, frightened child who just needed a friend and someone to love you. Everybody deserves and needs that. You found both those things in Rebecca. We’ve had our differences over the years, but you’ve never disappointed me. I wanted to kick your ass a few times, but you’ve never let me down. More importantly, you’ve never disappointed my Rebecca either. I blamed you for quite some time for taking my baby from me. For a little bit there I actually tried to hate you. My little girl wasn’t supposed to love another woman, but she did. I came to realize, with my Angie’s help, that it doesn’t mean spit what package love comes in. All that matters is it’s there and it’s true. You’ve taught me a lot about love and courage and persistence. You’re bullheaded, stubborn, and all round pain in the butt sometimes. But you’re as much my daughter as Becca is and always will be. I love you too kiddo. You’ve made your old dad proud. We’ll get through this together, all of us, cause we’re a family. Family has to stick together y’know." I’ll be damned. I didn’t think ex-marines did sensitive chats. Unknown to us, we had a witness to our conversation. A soft low contralto voice reverberated through the air.
"Hey am I gonna have to hurt you dad? Are you trying to make time with my woman?" Harley grunted and it was obvious the old Harley was very much alive and well. Maybe humor will help us through this after all.
"What?! Me and her? Hell no! She’s too damn butch for me." I relin-quished my hold and Becca replaced Harley’s arms with her own equally strong muscular ones.
"Good, cause I kinda like my women a little butch. It makes for more a more interesting time in bed!" That’s it, I’m outta here.
"Good Lord! You two are too much for me that’s for damned sure; I’m going to bed." Two bear like arms encircled us both and with a kiss to each of our foreheads, Harley was gone.
"Good night daddy. I love you. Kiss mother for both of us."
"Night Harley. We’ll talk more in the morning." The big man nodded and left.
"Talk about what?" Becca knew what the topic of conversation was which preoccupied our minds. Still a curved eyebrow disappeared underneath dark bangs.
"Angie’s condition and a plan of action." Tears threatened to spill over red-rimmed cerulean pools. I took my beloved in my arms and held on for dear life.
"Stace what plan do we have? Is mother going to suffer? I don’t want her to hurt." The tears fell unbidden, my wife unable to control her emotions.
"Honey, I can’t tell you for sure, because I don’t know all I should about your mom’s problem. I’m going to call Charles in the morning. I think we should know everything he’s done for Angie up to now, and what he intends to do in the future. Baby the one thing I do know about cardiomyopathy is that with diet and exercise, your mom could live comfortably for another twenty years. But I won’t lie to you; she could also die just as suddenly tomorrow, next week, or next year. If that were to happen, it would happen quickly, and no she wouldn’t suffer." My angel’s tears subsided again; our eyes met.
"Promise?" Becca asked hopefully.
"I promise my heart. I won’t let her suffer. I’ll help her anyway I can and however she wants." The implications were not lost on my wife.
"Anyway?" Clearly Becca wanted the truth.
"Absolutely anyway my love. Now let’s go to bed." We turned to go, but I hesitated and looked down the hallway toward Syd’s room.
"Let’s go check on Syd first." We found our baby girl and her two canine protectors sleeping on either side of their charge. Two furry heads lifted from Syd’s body to glare at us threateningly.
"Don’t worry guys, it’s just us. Besides don’t get cheeky with me or you’ll lose your happy home." Two large heads returned to their human pillow. Becca brushed whispy blonde bangs away from a golden face. Together we placed a tender kiss on each of Syd’s cheeks.
"Sweet dreams my little one," I whispered, hoping against hope she wouldn’t lose her grandmother so soon.
Chapter 2: The Longest Night
Becca and I fell into bed, both of us numb with grief, pain, and uncer-tainty. I gathered my angel up into my arms and spooned behind her. I had made up my mind I wasn’t going to go into this business blind. I’ll do a little research. Tomorrow besides calling Charles, I’d have a talk with Dr. Isabelle Monson. She is a Pediatric Cardiologist at the trauma center. In fact I think I’ll talk to her before I call Charles. Charles could be a pompous son of a bitch at times. And he could be a bit condescending as well, especially with older people. Well I’ve got news for you buddy boy, you get crossways of Harley, Becca or I and you’ll be one sorry human being. Maybe Izzy could recommend someone here. I knew of a couple good heart specialists, but the problem was there wasn’t anybody any better than Dr. Charles Francis. Well maybe we’ll just keep him on a damn short leash. Hmm. Maybe he’s into short leashes. Why does everything have a sexual connotation with you? Me? The poster child for Masters and Johnson’s is giving me hell about my sexual obsessions? Not damn likely! Go to sleep! Masters and Johnson’s. Hell!
"Baby? You asleep?" my wife asked her drowsy voice barely able to be heard.
"No my heart. I’m just thinking about what we could do for your mom." Your mom.
"She’s your mom too ya know." Yeah she is.
"I know, I just…it’s hard…to…well you know." Yes my angel knew. She squeezed the arm that rested just under her breasts, and pushed back against me begging for more contact. I tightened my arms around my life, and kissed the crown of raven locks.
"Stace she loves you very much, and you’ve always been her daughter too. She wouldn’t be insulted if you called her mom. In fact just the opposite, she’d be very proud." I knew that too, but I guess if I put a voice, a name to my feelings, then if and when she would be taken from us, it would be even more painful a loss than I could bare, as if the loss wouldn’t be the worst I’d ever suffered up to now.
"Guess I better face this head on huh?" My lover raised our joined hands to her lips and kissed my palm tenderly.
"No, we better face this head on. My soul, I won’t desert you, I won’t shut you out, please don’t shut me out either. We need to stay together and strong for everyone, and I’m being very selfish here, especially for me. I can’t make it without you." I turned my angel to face me and took her lips passionately with mine. The kiss seemed to go on and on. Tongues dueled with each other for domination; lips and teeth nipped and sucked at each other’s hungrily, each trying to fill a need for the other.
"Stace, God make love to me please. I need you so much." My love’s plea hit me like a freight train traveling at top speed. How could I refuse my angel anything?
"Angel I want you so much, but are you sure this is what you want? We need to rest." My lover wouldn’t be denied. She rained hot, passionate kisses all over my exposed skin. She captured my lips in a scorching kiss. Never had she been this demanding or domineering. My angel bit my lip drawing blood leaving a coppery taste in my mouth that lit a spark deep in my groin.
"Stace I want you baby, now!" Yes my love very soon.
I sat up pulling my lover into my lap. I positioned her so we were facing each other, her strong thighs wrapped around my hips, mine encircling hers in a similar fashion. Our breasts were just at the right height allowing hard throbbing nipples to rub sensuously against each other. Our mouths crashed together again, tongues dancing, teeth and lips nipping and sucking. I couldn’t get enough of my wife’s luscious mouth. Slowly I dragged my hand down between our fused bodies until I reached the curly black hair covering her molten center. I parted my wife’s labia and drew my fingers up and down the length of her beautiful swollen, puffy lips causing a steady stream of moisture to flow from her heated center. I wanted my lover open and ready for our con-tact. I brought Becca’s hand to my equally drenched folds.
"Touch me my heart, feel how wet I am for you, how open and ready. Feel how I long for your touch." At first contact of my lover’s fingers to my dripping pussy, I moaned long and low in my throat. "Oh yeah baby stroke it, touch it, just like that. Mmmm, it feels so good. You feel good." I loved my darling in the same manner, much to my baby’s satisfaction.
"I love you my soul. Your fingers feel so good. Go inside baby please."
I dipped three fingers deep inside my angel’s cunt and began a long forceful thrusting. My Becca’s pussy was so warm and soft, like velvet. She didn’t waste any time pleasuring me as well. We began a mutual finger fucking designed to draw us to orgasm together.
"Baby I want, I need more. I want to pussy fuck you." I gasped as Becca could only nod. I withdrew my fingers from their warm nest to begin sucking and licking each digit clean. My actions must have seemed very erotic for my lover groaned audibly. My heart mimicked my actions bringing her fingers under my nose, then proceeding to suck and lick my juices from her fingers. I could take no more foreplay; it was time to get to it before I came on the spot. I separated our nether lips to expose our pink swollen vulvas and aching clits. My angel slowly lowered herself to my cunt. The delicious excruciating feeling of our sex rubbing ludely together was incredible.
"Oh yes! This feels so fantastic!" My lover’s arms went around me pulling me tightly to her. My hands grabbed her firm gorgeous ass and pulled her forcibly to my straining pussy. We were so close to the edge from our earlier ministrations that only a few more thrusts would bring us over the abyss to fly into oblivion.
"Stace, I’m so close. Please I need to cum. Cum with me baby." My lover’s cries were music to my ears as we hunched and humped, grunted and groaned against each other. My baby’s sweet tits were just too much tempta- tion. I pulled first one then the other into my hungry mouth with my teeth. My sucking motion matched the thrusting of our hips. My lover’s moans were testament to her impending climax. When it hit, it exploded throughout her body. I captured her mouth with mine and our mutual screams were muffled.
My angel buried her face in my neck and sobbed uncontrollably her hot tears trailing down my shoulder onto my chest. I held my world to me stroking her hair, whispering words of love in her ear.
"Shhh babe, it’s okay, let it go, it’s all right. I’ve gotcha, I won’t let go." I lowered myself to the bed until I lay on my back. I disentangled my legs from around my lover’s hips allowing her to stretch her long legs down until she lay fully on top of me. My arms enclosed her in the afterglow of love and made funny shaped designs on her back, with my fingers, until I felt her breathing even out and her heartbeat slowed.
"Thank you my soul. I love you so much. I think I can sleep now." I brushed away tangled black locks to expose my Becca’s beautiful face so I could place one last long lingering kiss to her full ruby red lips.
"Yes my heart, sleep, I’ll be here, I love you too." I prayed Morpheus could claim my world with peaceful deep sleep and he did. It wasn’t long before I too let myself be drawn into his loving arms and slept as well. Across the hall, two people who meant more to us than words could ever express listened quietly to our lovemaking.
"They just can’t be quiet can they? They try so hard, but it just isn’t in the cards. I’m so glad they have each other. Their love will see them over any obstacles, of that I’m sure." Harley held his wife tighter in his arms.
"Yeah it’s probably a good thing. Don’t tell smartass, but she’s a lot like me y’know. I kinda like that!" Angie slapped him playfully.
"Honey don’t call Stacey smartass please? Will you do that for me? Rebecca doesn’t like that and neither do I, okay?" Harley could never say no to Angie, so he acquiesced.
"Okay baby, for you anything. Angie does it bother you that they make so much noise when they…uh…when they…you know…" Angie chuckled.
"It’s called make love dear, we do it all the time, and we’re just as loud. So no it doesn’t bother me at all." Harley turned beet red. Fortunately the dark room covered his embarrassment.
"Angie did it bother you when they got together…you know…uh became…uh…" Harley I so adore you.
"Lovers? Harley they’re lovers. They’re soul mates for eternity. At first I was concerned, but not because they were two women in love, but because of all the people who would look down on them because they were lesbians. But when I saw how much they loved each other, no. I was so happy they had each other, like I have you. I love you Sheriff Charles Bryan Russell Danforth." Harley kissed his wife sweetly.
"And I love you Angelic Maria Lindsey Danforth. Now let’s get some sleep. You’re gonna have a very tiring day tomorrow." Morpheous quickly claimed the two lovers as well taking them to the land of dreams where they were eternally young and sickness didn’t exist. As the seven occupants…dogs included… a shimmering golden light enveloped the home. Love resided here. Love, the most powerful force on earth, would protect and nurture those who truly believed.
Chapter 3: Hell Hath No Wrath…
The intruding sunlight through our bedroom window hit me squarely between the eyes. I slowly became aware of a not unpleasant weight draped all over me. Raven hair lay in disarray covering my chest. Under the wild inky tresses was a hand resting lightly on my right breast while little puffs of air from Becca’s breathing caressed my left. The black veil covered the left side of my baby’s face. Memories of the night before came flooding back making me smile, albeit a bittersweet smile. I lay there thinking all that needed to be done. I decided to accompany Angie and Harley to UCLA Med. Center for the barrage of tests the older woman would have to undertake. I knew there would be no keeping Becca away either, and Syd would undoubtedly want to skip school too. Well at least we would present a united front. I wanted to talk to Izzy first thing. That way if Charles tried to pull his high toned, "…I’m the specialist, you’re the ignorant patient, I know best routine’, I’d shove it up his ass. He may well be the best cardiologist in the world, but his bedside manner left a lot to be desired. I glanced over at the clock: 5:40am. I need a shower and coffee, not necessarily in that order. A loud clang and clatter brought me upright. Shit Margie! My God she doesn’t know any of this. I slowly extricated myself from Becca’s tight embrace. I replaced myself with my pillow, kissed her forehead, and padded out into the kitchen.
"What happened, the bed break down?" Very funny Margie. You’re really a riot. She must have noticed my red puffy eyes because the smirk disappeared instantly. The additional jab stayed on her tongue.
"What happened Mac? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Becca or Syd? My God tell me!" Jesus woman, she would if you’d shut up for five seconds. I held up my hands to stop the onslaught of questions.
"Margie, Becca and Syd are fine. Physically anyway, emotionally well that’s another matter. It’s Angie. We just found out yesterday that she has a heart condition. It’s called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy." The look on Margie’s face showed absolute horror. "Actually it’s not as terrible as it sounds. The heart muscle has thickened for some reason and effects the way the heart works. With proper diet and moderate exercise she could live for years. The downside is that, in her case, we don’t know why she has the disease. Mostly people with high blood pressure or who exercise too much get it. She doesn’t fall into either one of those categories.
"Mac, I’m so sorry. Angie is much a sweet person. Becca, Syd, and Harley must be devastated. And what about you? Angie’s been like a mother to you over the years." Yeah this is far from a pleasant situation.
"Becca and Syd are shaken up pretty badly. It’s hard to tell with Harley. He doesn’t show his feelings." Like someone else I could name. "I’m okay. Look, I think I’ll go for a run, then get a shower. Everyone else is asleep so keep it down huh? I’m keeping Syd home from school today so if Ange calls tell her Syd will call her back, okay?" As if on cue, two canines came snuffling around my feet. "How ‘bout it guys, let’s go for a run?" As I headed for the door, Margie stopped me.
"Mac, you know if you need anything at all, I’m here for you. No strings, no judgments right?" Good ol’ Marge.
"I know Margie, thanks, see ya in a bit. If anybody wakes up and wonders where I am let ‘em know, ‘kay?"
I took off down the path leading to the beach, my mind filled with all sorts of emotions, none of them concrete enough grab hold of. I felt like my world was spinning out of control. I realized I had never had to deal with death or it’s aftermath, at least not on a personal level. In my work, I deal with life and death on a day to day basis, but with a clinical stoicism necessary to my profes-sion. I always kept death at arms length. If I took death personally, I could never be an effective doctor. Art Brennenger taught me that lesson long ago. This was totally different; now it was personal. Death had marked a member of my family. It was nosing around someplace where it didn’t belong. Well fine, if death thinks I’m just going to stand back and meekly allow the ‘grim reaper’ to wreck havoc, think again. If death were cold and calculating, I would be even more so. If death were deadly, I’d be even more deadly. I wasn’t going to let death win this one, not my Becca’s mamma. No way!
These thoughts swirled through my mind while I ran along the shore letting the waves lap at my feet; the sea breeze blew my hair all around my face. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears; I could feel the blood pumping in my veins, and the breath being forced in and out of my lungs with every stride. I tried with every step to force the pain and anguish I was feeling from my body. I was determined to defeat death, or at least delay it with the shear strength of my will. I had lost track of how long I had run or how far I had gone. When I became aware of my surroundings, I realized I had run round the point, a distance of three miles. Nip and Tuck were running next to me their large shoulder muscles flexing powerfully with each stride. I decided I’d better turn around and head for home, it was time. A rough game plan had formed in my brain. I would share my ideas with the family, and with their love and support, we’d make it work.
My legs propelled me forward with surprising ease. My canine running partners yipped and yapped their way along. Occasionally they would splash into the Pacific Ocean only to run back along side of me flipping sand and salt water all over me. When I finally neared the path leading up the bluffs to our house, I caught a glimpse of the most beautiful vision in the universe. Standing in the early morning sun, the waves gently rolling in behind her, with the blue sea and the white sand as a backdrop, the sea breeze gently blowing her hair back, my angel looked like a goddess indeed. The dogs ran ahead of me barking loudly in greeting. I stopped dead in my tracks, the sweat dripping from my body. Our eyes locked saying with one look what an entire volume of Emily Bronte or Shakespeare’s sonnets never could. My angel reached out to me taking me into her arms, both needing and giving love and comfort. I melted into the embrace, feeling the steady rhythm of Becca’s heartbeat. My increased heart rate, from my run, calming gradually until it returned to normal.
"I missed you when I woke up this morning," my wife whispered over my head. I probably should have stayed in bed to await my baby’s return to the waking world.
"I’m sorry baby, but I heard Margie rattling around in the kitchen, and I realized she didn’t know anything about what happened with your…with mom, so I got up to tell her. Besides, you were sleeping so peacefully; I didn’t have the heart to wake you. Forgive me?" My angel kissed the top of my head.
"Of course my love. Margie and I talked for a bit over coffee. She feels just as bad as we do hon." I pulled back from our embrace to look deeply in my lover’s eyes.
"We are going to get through this. I’ve been thinking about what we things we have to do. I think our best plan is to hang in together. I was thinking we could go with Harley and Angie to the med center today, you know for added support. While Angie…mom…is having tests, Harley will be climbing the walls. I can use my physician’s privileges to come and go as I damn well please, so I can keep you better updated. What do you think?" Becca girded me once again in her wonderfully strong; warm arms, and kissed me passionately.
"I think I love you so very much. Everyone’s up, let’s go up and eat breakfast and get everybody moving, ‘kay?" I nodded.
"Yeah, I could use a shower, and one of Margie’s Denver omelets." We wrapped our arms around each other’s waists and started off up the path to the house.
"Stace, thank you for being here, for loving me and Mom and Dad." The sentiment was so surprising to me. Where else would I be, and how could I not love my world? But then I realized Becca needed to voice her thanks as much for herself, as for me.
"Baby, my heart, there is no other place on earth I’d rather be than with you. I’ll always be right here by your side. I love you, Syd, and the folks. You all are my life. Don’t you know that by now?" Of course!
"I know my soul, I know. I love you. Let’s go beat this thing." That’s it baby, let’s give ‘em hell!
This is the end of part one. Let me know what you think. I need your input; it’s the only way I know if you want to read more of my stories. Thanks.