The intercom blasted the request bringing me out of my reverie. I shot up out of the chair where I was sitting on the verandah. The late autumn sun was just beginning to make its descent into the Pacific Ocean. The light haze filtered the sun?s light making the oranges; reds and blues more subdued than usual. I glanced at my watch: 4:15pm. Damn I?ve got that dinner party tonight. Becca?s gonna freak. I?ve been loath to go to this thing. Rubbing elbows with the beautiful people has never been my thing. That?s cause you?re anti-social. Yeah well sometimes that?s a good thing. Anyway it doesn?t look like I?ll be going tonight. A poor excuse is better than no excuse. Not at someone else?s expense, I?d rather suffer through a boring dinner party than have some poor soul suffer the pain of a major trauma. I?d better have Deidre call Becca.

All these thoughts were traveling their way through my brain when I reached the ER double doors. A flurry of activity reigned therein. My Head Trauma Nurse/Nursing Services Director, Irish Rafferty-Warren was already at work. The fifty-five-year-old nurse had been on a health kick of late and trimmed her rotund frame down considerably?

"I ain?t getting any younger," she?d said matter of factly, "and I?m tired of packing around all this excess baggage. I?m gonna? lose weight." Dr. Rachel Donnovon-Evans, the nurse?s chief antagonist never let a chance to rib Irish go by and couldn?t resist a jab at our Irish friend and colleague.

"Yeah right, like the last diet you went on. I didn?t think corned beef and cabbage with potatoes and Irish ale was on any diet I ever saw." The last diet Irish was on lasted until ?St. Paddy?s Day?. And then promptly fell apart.

It took nearly nine long, hard months but Irish stuck to her guns and lost nearly 100 pounds. Now at a svelte 150 pounds, Irish was a goin? concern. Gil helped out by giving up his ale and going to light beer. He lost 30 pounds himself. Gus Garcia?s business suffered mightily until he put in a variety of frozen yogurt flavors just for Irish. One he dubbed the ?Irish LaMint?. It was even green and tasted like mint. The yogurt went over so well, he added a whole new line in all his stores. Gus even went so far as to put a picture of Irish in all his parlors. He kept a running tally of how much weight Irish had lost, and even started a contest for the closest guess to the amount of weight loss and how long it would take to reach her goal. The winner got a family season ticket to the Laker?s home games. Irish became a celebrity in her own right and was successful in achieving a healthier lifestyle.

Rachel was out $2500.00 because she bet me against Irish. I being the good sport and gracious winner I am, rubbed it in every chance I got. I wasn?t the real winner. We took the money and bought storybooks and stuffed animals for the Hospice Nursery. Kylie Johnson?s family won the Lakers tickets, which I thought was ironic since Frank Johnson is a die-hard Clippers fan. Oh well, it does him good to root for someone different. The seats were right next to ours. The McGregors, the Flannerys, the Evans, and the Warrens all go to the games together. People always knew if there was a trauma at the center, cause all those seats would be empty if there were. My pleasant thoughts evaporated when I saw the patient resting on the gurney, then I switched to professional mode.

"What do we have Irish?" The experienced trauma nurse ticked off the patient?s status like a computer downloading software.

"A twenty-three-year-old pregnant female with severe head, chest, and abdominal trauma. BP is 90/palp, respiration?s 30 and thready, pupils fixed and dilated. Diminished sounds in both lungs." God how could someone do this to another human being, let alone a pregnant woman? The bruises and cuts on her face indicated someone had beaten her with their fists. There were bruises on the woman?s upper arms. Whoever did this was big and strong. More than likely, she was shaken, then slammed into a wall. Her left eye was swollen shut and the eyelid was severely lacerated. Those were the least of her injuries. In addition to the cuts and bruises, there was heavy bruising on her chest abdomen and sides. I suspected there would be serious internal damage. So much so that there was a chance the baby night not make it.

"Who?s responsible for this?" If looks could kill, Irish would have destroyed the woman?s husband.

"The husband is in police custody. Seems he didn?t believe the baby was his, so he?s been trying to get rid of it since she told him she was pregnant. This isn?t the first time he?s beaten her. A real sweetheart huh? But she keeps going back for more. Their names are Jason and Beverly Jenson." Jenson. Why does that name sound familiar? Cause the guy?s celebrity of sorts. He?s the tight end for the LA Whales. Oh shit, that?s the son of a bitch who was implicated with a couple of assaults on woman in LA nightspots lately. Same one Sherlock. Well if she loses the baby, not to mention if she doesn?t make it, it?s murder.

"How far along is she? She looks like six to six and a half months to me." Irish looked at me with a wry smile.

"Seven actually." Smartass.

"All right, I want a CT scan and radiographs. Set up the portable ultrasound and get the monitors going. I want a picture of the baby. Let?s go people move it. I want a CBC and cross for five units. I want two lines. Hang a 1000ml bag a Normal saline with a dopamine drip. How?s her breathing now Lil?"

Lilli Faraday was in her last year of residency and I offered her a fellowship. The trauma center was named for her sister Casey who was beaten to death, twenty-five years previously by her stepfather, at the age of fifteen months. Lilli was older by two years. I didn?t hold much hope that Lilli would stay on because she wanted to go back east to Baltimore to be closer to her mother and older brother. But I intended to keep after her. She had the potential to be a talented and gifted surgeon and had a great deal of empathy for the suffering of her patients. But as much as I would like to have Lil stay, I wanted her to be happy, and John Hopkins had offered her a fellowship as well, and it was a safe bet she?d go back. Deftly Lil moved her stethoscope over the patient?s chest listening for the life giving breaths.

"Lung sounds diminished bilaterally." Without my having to give the order, Lill grabbed to chest tube kits from the crash cart.

"I want two chest?" Before I could finish speaking, Lil and Irish set about inserting the chest tubes.

"Were all over it Mac." I moved my hands over Beverly Jenson?s abdomen position- ing the stethoscope so I could check for the heartbeat of the baby. Before the words were out of my mouth, Rachel charged into the ER.

"Where?s Dr. Donnovon?" I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a presence leaning over the gurney.

"I?m here Dr. McGregor." What?s the patient?s status? I understand the woman?s pregnant. How far along?" Dr. McGregor? It never ceased to amaze me how quickly our friendship could turn to a professional relationship in a split second.

"Very serious Dr. Donnovon. She has a closed head injury, acute trauma to the chest and abdomen. We have her stabilized and we're taking her for a CT scan and radiographs. From the looks of her side, I?d say she has at least one possibly two broken ribs, one of which is close to her lung. Have a look." Rachel examined the ugly discoloration on Beverly?s left side. There was an obvious imprint of a man?s large boot on the woman?s side. That bastard.

"I agree. What is the baby?s condition?" We both looked at the portable ultrasound at the foot of the gurney. The machine monitored the baby?s heartbeat. Suddenly, the monitored showed an even more critical condition, and it wasn?t the baby.

"God damn it, she?s throwing PVC?s. I want a load dose of lidocaine! Give me 3 milligrams of atropine. C?mon move! move!" Irish, Rachel, Lil and I worked feverishly to get Beverly?s heart to beat. "Dammit asystole! Irish get me 5 milligrams of epinephrine." Irish quickly and expertly injected the drugs into the IV port. All activity in the trauma room stopped while we watched the monitor praying Beverly's heart would begin to beat in a normal rhythm. Within seconds, the steady pulsing of the patient?s heart lit up the monitor. The baby inside its mother?s battered body continued to hold on to life as well, but the hold was tenuous at best. "All right Beverly! You hang in there. We?re going to do our part; you do yours. Your baby needs you so c?mon and fight!" We frantically readied Beverly for the CT scan and radiographs. I wanted everything else ready in the OR.

"Carly, call Dr. Jefferson and have him meet us in the OR. Deidre alert OR to have a room ready. Set-up for an Exploratory Laparotomy with a C-Section. Also, I?ll want a temporal craniotomy and evacuation set-up. We?ll know more when we see the CT scans." The instructions were given on the run, and in a few harried strides, we were at the double door leading to Radiology.

The CT cans showed Beverly had an acute epidural hematoma and evolving introcerebral hematoma. She had a small 3cm scalp laceration that looked benign enough, but the underlying damage was tremendous. In addition to the laceration, she had a temporal pterional bone fracture and the meningeal artery was lacerated in two separate places. If I don?t go in and repair this damage, the hematoma would expand. Dr. Jefferson was one of the best neurosurgeons in the world, and together we had a chance to save Beverly. The plan was simple. While I performed the left temporal craniotomy and evacuation, Dr. Donnovon and her team would do the exploratory laparotomy and emergency c-section. It would be a long night. Rachel and I each worked silently on our respective procedures speaking only to ask for the required instruments.

"How we doing Irish?" I knew my trauma nurse was on top of both the baby and its mother?s vitals.

"They?re doing just dandy m?girl. You just get finished with what you?re doing; I?ll let ya know when if we get into trouble." I shook my head, and concentrated on the delicate work I was doing.

"Irish you?re truly a gem. There aren?t too many people who can talk to her like that and live to tell about." Dr. Jeffereson added. I hate a chatty trauma team.

"Cut the chatter people; let?s concentrate on the job at hand. Rachel is the neonatal unit ready to accept the baby?" Dumb question smartass.

"As always, my people know their jobs doctor." Damn good thing. Damage control.

"I know I hire only the best." Oooo, good save. Just in time too cause there?s a new little life to welcome into the world. In that instant a loud healthy wail filled the OR suite.

"Check the time Irish." Irish wrote the time of delivery down on the chart.

"6:45pm Dr. McGregor." The little child was taken away to be thoroughly checked over to make sure he was indeed healthy.

"What else do you have Rach?" Rachel now had to thoroughly check the abdominal cavity for any bleeders.

"The spleen?s ruptured; I?ll have to remove it." Rachel worked quickly and efficiently.

"Irish, I need more suction here. I can?t see a damned thing with all this blood. What?s her blood pressure?" Irish checked the monitor.

"We?re in pretty good shape. BP is 100/65, respiration?s are 18 and strong. Just keep at it ladies." Dr. Jefferson grunted.

"Sorry Doc. Present company excepted." The atmosphere in the OR was considerab-ly less stressed since the baby was delivered. At least one life was out of danger.

"Oh oh Stace, have a look at that. The middle meningeal artery in cut." No doubt.

"Yeah Bob, I see. Give me some more suction, I think it?s cut in two places." Sure enough, there was a small laceration .5 cm further up the artery.

"Let?s tack the dura to the bone edges and I think we?ve got it." Just to make sure I wanted to do an intraoperative ultrasound to detect any more hematomas. Everything looked clean.

"Looks good Stace. Congratulations, you?ve saved another one." I wasn?t so sure.

"Let?s not count our chickens Bob. I want to leave an intraoperative pressure monitor in place to detect any anomalies." Dr. Jefferson looked a little unsure.

"Do you really think that?s nec?" I stopped him in mid thought.

"The patient wasn?t conscious when she was brought in and hasn?t regained consciousness. How else do you plan to observe any changes in our patient?" Dr. Jefferson had no more questions regarding my judgement.

"Dr. McGregor I?I?well?you?re right of course." The monitor was placed and there was nothing to do but close, take the patient to recovery, observe and wait. That?s the hardest part.

"Good work everyone. I don?t know about y?all, but I could use a cup of coffee." I looked up at the clock on the wall: 9:36pm.

Beverly Jenson was wheeled out of OR and into recovery. Now all we could do is wait and see if she?d regain consciousness. The first twenty-four hours would be the most critical. I walked into the recovery room, and found the little Jenson baby boy sleeping peacefully in a bassinets/incubator. He was small, as one would expect for an eight-week preemie, but all his internal organs were fully developed, and he was breathing well on his own. He just needed to be kept warm, fed, and loved. I went over and checked on Beverly Jenson and whispered.

"Mrs. Jenson, you?ve got someone who needs you very much. You must get better. You don?t have to worry, you?re safe here, and no one will harm you or you?re baby; you just get better." I didn?t notice Rachel and Irish standing near Beverly Jenson?s bed, but they must have heard my one-sided conversation.

"Hey Mac, c?mon I thought you were gonna buy us a cup of coffee?" My two friends and colleagues wrapped their arms around my shoulders and headed me toward the Recovery Room exit.

"Look you two go ahead, I?m gonna head to the office and call Becca. I?m in big trouble I?m sure." Irish shook her head and hugged me.

"I doubt that very much. Ya know, ya did nice work in there, I?m proud ta say I know ya. You?re a credit to your profession. I?ll see ya in a bit." Wow who was that woman? One of the best friends I?ll ever have.

I walked out into the hall and stumbled to my office. Once inside, I leaned against the wall trying to get the energy to walk to my desk. Exhaustion brought on by the tension and adrenaline download hit me like a ton of bricks. I flopped into my cushy leather chair and leaned my head against its cool surface. I had left the lights off, purposely and I had a spectacular view of the lights of the City of Angels from my windows. A soft knock sounded at my door.

"Come." Irish appeared in the door tray in hand. "Whatcha got there?" Irish waggled her eyebrows.

"Soul food for exhausted doctors. Just a wee bit of Irish Coffee, nothin? too dangerous." Irish you are too kind. Kind, you?ve never tasted her Irish Coffee? I took a deep drink of the warm potent liquid. I nearly choked.

"My God Irish! What the hell did you put in that stuff? This is definitely not for the weak." Irish was laughing hysterically.

"What?s the matter Mac, too strong for your tender Scottish palate?" Palate? After that, I have none.

"No, not usually. How much Irish did you put in that coffee." Probably the whole damn bottle.

"Just three fingers." Must have been some mighty big fingers.

"Whoooo. Good stuff Maynard." It was good; once I got my breath back.

"Well now Dr. McGregor, would ya be wantin? just a touch more then?" Oh what the hell. Why not?

"Sure Irish. Hit me again." Just as Irish toped off my cup again, there was another soft knock on the door.

"Come." My single word response was a good thing, because I could no more have gotten another word out if I tried. For, I looked up to see the most beautiful vision my tired eyes could have imagined. For a minute I thought I was seeing a mirage. But when I shook my head slightly and the vision didn?t disappear, I knew the image before my eyes wasn?t an apparition. My angel was dressed in a long pale blue, floor length gown. The right side was slit up the side showing a tantalizing length of tanned thigh. My lover?s shoulders were bare, covered only by her long raven hair that hung loosely down her back. A simple gold chain with a diamond heart hung around her neck.

"Hi guys, having a party without me?" My angel?s soft, but deep sexy contralto voice sent shivers up and down my spine. God she can reduce me to a puddle with a few mere words. I looked up at Irish, and it was obvious Becca had made quite an impression on her as well. No matter a person?s sexual preference, my wife affected everyone equally. Simply stated, she was devastating.

"Uh?no?uh?we just finished surgery." God there?s a first; Becca?s got Irish stuttering. What? Uh?oh yeah. You two are hopeless.

"I see. The procedure was successful I hope." Irish took the opportunity to bolt.

"Um yeah Bec. As a matter of fact, I?m gonna go get the latest update. She should be just about ready to leave recovery. See ya." Coward!

"Sure Irish, see you. Don?t forget you and Gil are invited for Sunday dinner. Give the new grandson a hug for me." Irish beamed from ear to ear at just the mention of the new addition to her family.

"Thanks Becca, I sure will." With that, the nurse left my office.

For her part, my angel walked, no slunk over to me, positioned herself between my legs, and placed her hands on each arm of the chair. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine, her tongue teasingly slipped out and licked my lips provocatively. Just as quickly it was gone. I tried to regain my composure, but that was very difficult, if not impos-sible.

"Hi there baby. What brings you down here?" A warm wet tongue began making more than just a tentative foray to my ear, neck, and throat.

"I got stood up. My wife was supposed to escort me to a long?kiss?boring?lick ?stuffy?nibble?dinner party. Can you imagine that?" I could only shake my head in re-sponse.

"Hey, I?ve got an idea. Dr. McGregor how would you like to come home with me and fool around a little?" Becca let our foreheads touch and kissed me playfully on the nose.

"Fool around? Hmm, I?m not sure I know how." I replied enjoying our playful banter.

"Not to worry, I?ll teach you everything you need to know." My angel began to rub her body against me again. Damn is it getting hot in here or what? My angel captured my lips with hers in a soul-searing kiss I felt all the way to my toes. The sensation I received from the kiss did more to warm me than Irish?s coffee ever could. Teeth gently nipped on my bottom lip and moist sweet lips sucked begging for more. My angel?s tongue invaded my moist warm cave licking all the inner surfaces. Our tongues wrapped around each other and dueled sensually for control in this intimate dance. But the kiss went no further. We broke away for air, and I pulled my lover down into my lap, and just held her in my arms. The peace and contentment I was experiencing felt so good. I held my world and reflected about the previous six hours. This time, I won the battle against violence; this time, our side won. What was my prize for victory? I was holding her in my arms, and my world was right. Well almost.

"Hon, I?m sorry I messed up your evening." My angel kissed my neck and throat and snuggled deeper into my arms.

"Baby you didn?t mess up my evening. What you did tonight was far more important than a stuffy old dinner party for a bunch of stogy old men and matrons who want to ogle my work." That better be all they were ogling. For sure. "I don?t want you to feel guilty for one instant. But still?if you insist on feeling guilty, I know a way you can make it up to me." I think I?m gonna be had. And your problem with that is what exactly? Nothing.

"Um just what did you have in mind?" Oh punish me please.

"Come home with me and make sweet passionate love with me for the rest of the night." Oh yes.

"My angel, I love you so much." Our lips joined in another passionate wet kiss. It would have gone on had not still another knock sounded on my office door.

"Damn, you?re right, let?s go home. Come."

Rachel came into the office carrying a precious little bundle. The tiny Jenson baby had a healthy pick glow that all new babies seemed to have. Because he was taken by cesarean he didn?t have the red blotches on his face from the trauma that sometimes occur during a natural birth. The small five-pound little boy was at least healthy, and even if he couldn?t feel his mother?s touch right away, he would be loved and well cared for until she could hold him and love him herself.

"I thought you might like to see the little guy before you left." The tiny baby slept soundly totally oblivious to the swirling activity that surrounded him.

"Oh isn?t he cute honey?" To Becca all babies were cute, even though sometimes, newborn babies can be really ugly. But in this case, she was right. The Jenson baby was quite cute indeed.

"Ya done good there Dr. Donnovon-Evans." Rachel beamed. She was just as happy to deliver these little beings, and fix and take care of other children than she was to have her own. She was never able to have children, some long drawn out medical reasons that I won?t go into. Suffice to say she was happy. Gary, her husband, Becca, Syd, and I, and all our friends were enough to give her happiness and she was contented.

"Hey, I didn?t do much." No not much, just gave him a chance at life he wouldn?t have had otherwise. Sometimes Rach was too self-effacing.

"Yeah right. You?ll never convince me of that Rachel." Becca kissed Rach on the cheek, and the blush traveled quickly, giving the Pediatric Director a healthy pink glow.

"Um, well thanks. I was just going to take this little tyke to visit his mom. Ya want to come along?" Yes I?d better.

"How is Mrs. Jenson?s condition?" Becca asked while stroking the little boy?s cheek softly with a long slender finger.

"Well it looks like she?s gonna be okay. Of course I?m no famous all knowing brain surgeon, but that?s my guess." The little jab at me could not go unchallenged.

"Yes well, then we should reserve comments until the omniscient being has a look see shall we? I?ll be back shortly babe, then we can go home." I kissed my angel softly and walked down the hall with Rach.

"See you and Gary for dinner on Sunday right Rach?" The pediatric specialist turned and nodded.

"Absolutely, we are really looking forward to it. See ya." Both of us entered the elevators to the ride to ICU and little Master Jenson?s mom.

We entered Beverly Jenson?s room, the monitors, IV lines, and NG tubes aiding her ability to live and ultimately heal. I walked to the bedside; penlight in hand and began my examination. The woman?s head was heavily bandaged, and her left eye was completely covered by the white bandage as well. I opened her right eye, and moved the penlight back and forth to see if there was any response. The pupil dilated and contracted appropriately. Gerry Connell, the ICU head nurse stood by ready to carry out any instructions I had.

"Well things look good so far." Although somnolent, she was responding to complex commands. The latest CT scan showed resolution of the mass effect and the lobectomy cavity. We had actually had to remove a portion of the brain because of necrotic temporal tissue. She showed marked improvement just in the past couple of hours, and if we made it through the next crucial twenty-four hours, she should make a full recovery. I hoped.

"You gonna introduce the new one to his momma?" Rachel moved forward and talked softly to Mrs. Jenson. I motioned for Nurse Connell to follow me to the door.

"I want an incubator brought in here. Keep the baby in here at all times." Nurse Connell wasn?t happy with my orders.

"Dr. McGregor, I don?t thin?" I held up my hand to forestall any arguments.

"That?s right Nurse Connell. Don?t think; just follow my orders. I want the first thing Beverly Jenson sees when she wakes up to be her child. I have enough to do to keep this woman alive without dealing with the anxiety caused from her thinking she lost her child." Light started to dawn on the ICU nurse. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes of course Dr. McGregor." Damn straight. God I like it when you put the fear of the Lord in some of these pompous old nurses.

"Good. Now I?m going home. Maintain the meds as they are. If there are any changes in her condition, call me immediately." With that, I turned on my heel and walked out of the room. Nurse Connell was a damn good nurse, but she could sure be a pain in the ass sometimes. I found Becca lying on the couch in my office. I bent down and kissed her lips. God they tasted so good, she tastes so good all over. Oh how I love this woman.

"Hey babe, let?s go home shall we?" Sleepy azure pools blinked trying to focus on my voice.

"Mmm, what time is it? Is Mrs. Jenson going to be okay?" I kissed my angel again, and nuzzled her cheek, ear, and neck. Oh baby, your scent drives me wild.

" Yeah hon, I think if she doesn?t relapse in the next twenty-four hours, she?ll be fine." I returned to my former position, and buried may face in Becca?s thick luxuriant, sweet smelling raven locks. God I could stay like this forever, but?

Let?s get home, so I can take you to bed and cuddle and snuggle and love you all night long. I love the comfort and peace I find in your arms. You complete me ya know that?" Becca kissed my nose playfully.

"Right back at ya. Let?s go. I have a lesson or two to teach."

"Please." Azure pools met azure, and my angel leaned down and kissed my curly brown patch reverently.

"Yes my love, anything." Gentle kisses fluttered lovingly down my abs to the place where my thighs met my center. Tender erotic kisses covered the inside of one thigh brushing my aching center, but never giving me relief. My lover licked the crevice between my thigh and mons. Becca knew exactly how to prepare me for the exquisite pleasure that was to come. I moaned in pleasure.

"Mmm that feels nice, but please baby don?t tease me. I want you so much. Love me please." My baby took pity on me and changed her tactics slightly. She lay her head down on my belly, but not before she kissed my center once more.

"You smell so good baby. The scent of your arousal is driving me crazy." Her fingers now came into play as she began stroking my slit from anus to clit. My engorged pink lips opened to my angel. I was hers to do with as she saw fit. "You are so wet my love. Your juices are flowing like a river. God I love how you respond to my touch." She played and stroked in my warm folds, occasionally dipping into my love hole withdrawing more of my creamy love nectar. "Look my love." My angel withdrew her wet fingers and held them for me to see. "Look how my fingers glisten with your ambrosia." Slowly and sensually, Becca licked and sucked each of her fingers into her warm mouth enjoying the taste of my cum. God it was so erotic, I almost came then and there. When she had cleaned her fingers sufficiently, she leaned up and kissed me tenderly. Her tongue slipped into my mouth, and I could taste myself on her. She broke the kiss and whispered. "This is your taste my love." She left my lips and moved near my ear, and nibbled and sucked my neck leaving a purple love bruise in her wake. She whispered again. "I want you to taste this too." She took my hand and brought it down to her sloppy wet pussy. She drew my fingers up and down the length of her sex, collecting her musky juices. Then she removed my love digits and brought then to my waiting mouth. I licked and sucked her slender fingers enjoying the taste of my wife?s juices. All the while I was sampling my love?s ambrosia, my fingers were playing in my wife?s cunt, and the fingers of her other hand were fucking me as well. Her deep lust filled voice was telling me how good it felt. "Oh God baby ungh, oh yes your fingers feel so good, please go inside. Feel how tight and warm I am." She guided my hand until my fingers were positioned at her entrance. "Oh baby yeah, do it. Fuck me now. Take me." How could I resist, and I plunged three fingers deep inside my lover?s steaming cunt and began a strong finger fucking. My lover?s fingers weren?t idle either, and she slipped four fingers deep inside my hot pussy.

"Aaaahhh, my God Becca that feels so good. God I love you so much. I want this to go on forever." Matching my wife?s rhythm, I thrust another finger inside my love and began stroking her to our mutual satisfaction. Each of us was drenching the other?s hand with our love juices, each stroke bringing us closer to the inevitable climax. Groans and moans of pleasure filled the room. Bodies were writhing and thrusting as the stroking and thrusting increased, as did our passion. Still I wanted; needed more.

"Baby, I want all of you inside me. Please baby, I need more. Fist me. Fuck me hard and make me cum. God do it!" My Becca was so into loving me, she was oblivious to her own passion. God yes she felt so good. My angel changed her position slightly so she could get better leverage and do as I begged.

"Are you sure my love. God I don?t want to hurt you." I nodded my head back and forth, frantically begging for her loving touch.

"Yes baby I?m sure. Ungh, ungh yes you feel so good. Do it baby, God fuck me with your whole hand. Fist me dammit, do it!" My baby folded her thumb into her palm and gently pushed forward until she was deep inside of me. She curled her fingers until she made a fist, then stopped momentarily to allow me to adjust this new intrusion. The feeling of being filled to the hilt with my lover?s hand was indescribable. "Oh yeah baby I?m so full, feels so good. Fuck me now baby, love me as only you can." My lover withdrew until the heel of her hand was just at the entrance of my cunt, and then she pushed back in. She set up a slow masterful fucking, and my cunt muscles began to tighten around her pleasuring fist. My juices were pouring from my steaming honey hole.

"Ummm, baby you feel so good, so tight around my hand. Can you feel how deep I am? Feel it baby, this is me fucking you. You love it don?t you?" Oh yeah baby. What I couldn?t voice with words, I let my actions say. I pulled my fingers out of my lover?s sex chamber a little until I could fold my thumb into my palm and thrust up into my lover?s hot twat. I folded my hand into a fist and started giving my wife the same loving treatment she was giving me. Becca shrieked out her pleasure and we both launched into a fierce fist fucking of each other.

"Oh yeah baby, God you feel so good. Yes, oh yes, God Becca do it baby, I?m so close. Cum with me baby. I want to feel you orgasm with me." I could feel my lover?s cunt muscles pulsing and contracting around my hand and I knew her completion was at hand. I knew also Becca could feel me as well.

"Hold me! God Becca hold me! I?m afraid I?m gonna explode! Baby I?m gonna cum, need to cum!" My world put her arm around me and I wrapped my arm around her. We continued to fist each other, our hips slamming against each other. The force of our coupling was slamming the bed against the wall.

"God Stace, baby. Yes!!" A burning sensation began in my gut and slowly worked its way out until my whole body felt like it was on fire with exquisite pleasure/pain. Then all movement stopped; my eyes were closed to the colors that exploded behind my eyelids. I lost consciousness briefly; my world was holding me close. Our sweating bodies heaved with the exertion of trying to pull air into our nearly collapsed lungs. My lover straightened her fingers and gently pulled her hand from my straining sex. The slurping sound attested to the amount of juices I produced during our love session. I too removed my love digits from my wife?s equally wet love nest. I simply could do nothing other than lay there and hold my lover. Our sweating, cooling bodies entangled together in our love nest. With what little strength I possessed, I pulled the silk sheet up to cover our nakedness. I brushed black damp bangs from my wife?s face and kissed her moist forehead.

"Babe are you okay? That was certainly intense. We haven?t done that in a while. I didn?t hurt you did I?" My angel?s silence was beginning to worry me, and so I gently lifted her chin so I could look directly at her face. What I saw gladdened my heart and relieved my fears. My wife was asleep with a smile etched on her face. She was breathing the breath of peaceful, deep sleep. Well maybe she has the right idea, and I joined my love in Morpheus? realm safe in our love.

I love sleeping in on the weekend, especially because I get to lay with the most beau-tiful woman in the world. My world: two little innocuous words that explain more about my life than any two words in the English vocabulary ever could. I lay here watching my angel sleep, and I wonder how I could ever make anyone understand how she makes me feel, how much I love this woman, how lost and empty I would be without her in my life. How do you explain to anyone what is the pure essence of love? I guess that maybe I can?t; it has to be experienced. And I suppose no two couples ever experience the same feelings. But one thing I do know. If people feel only one tenth of the feelings I have at this moment, then they would die very happy people indeed. "I love you my angel, so very much." With that testament, I kissed my lover?s lips lightly. That slight touch roused my baby from her slumbering.

"Mmm, that was nice. Wanna try that again?" My angel and I loved kissing.

You never have to ask twice. I lowered my upper body toward my Becca until our breasts touched. I rubbed against my lover?s nipples sensuously and took her lips in a soul-searing kiss. I found myself encased my two strong muscled arms. Becca?s moans drove me to deepen and strengthen the kiss. Our lips and tongues sampled and tasted each other. I love wet sloppy kisses with lots of tongue. Our mutual groans attested to our building passion. One kiss led to two, then three. Finally, I managed to pull away long enough to catch my breath. I brushed unruly black locks away from my lover?s beautiful face, and kissed her eyes, her cheeks, jaw, chin, and neck. Our bodies were now touching over their entire lengths. I loved the feel of my angel?s soft skin. Two women touching, loving each other is so sensual, so full of feeling. Of course, I?ve never been with anyone else, but it seems to me for a woman to be fully satisfied only another woman can fully understand and meet her needs. I?m sure there are many men who would argue that point. Many women too. Yeah, yeah, yeah each to his own I guess. My angel took that instant to brush my equally unruly curls over my shoulder, and kissed the exposed flesh there.

"Good morning my love." Then she glanced at the clock. "Or should I say good af-ternoon?" Our hedonistic streaks and subsequent lovemaking had demolished the entire morning. 1:00pm, yeah I?d say we pretty well took care of most of the day. My lover must have noticed my far away look.

"Where did you go just now? What were you thinking about?" I can?t hide anything from you can I?

"I was thinking about you and me and love. Plus I was wondering why Margie hasn?t been in here yanking us out of bed." Our housekeeper and general all round ?zookeeper?, as Syd calls her, usually has chores to do Saturday mornings that don?t allow us to wallow around in the sack all day.

"You don?t suppose she stayed home today do you?" Hardly, that woman hasn?t taken a Saturday morning off in eight years. Now Becca had me perplexed.

"Naw she would have called, and I didn?t hear the phone earlier." How could you? With the noise you two were making, you couldn?t have heard a sonic boom. God ya knocked the paint off the wall. Aahh we did not. Bet me; take a look smartass. Sure enough the paint was scuffed where the headboard had slammed into the wall during our lovemak- ing.

"Shit, Margie?s gonna have our hides." Becca looked at me confused.

"What are you talking about?" I directed Becca to look at the damaged wall.

"Ooops, I guess we got a little carried away, huh?" Mmm, mmm. Yes we did.

"Yeah, but it was worth it. Now we?d better get up, get cleaned up, before Margie comes a lookin?." I kissed my wife?s nose playfully and crawled over her to get to the bathroom. I got a swat on my bare butt for my effort.

"Ow! What?dya do that for?" Becca?s eyebrow arched and disappeared into dark bangs. Her version of the look a certain dark-haired television beauty made famous. The resemblance was startling. Bet she?d look great in leather. Shut up you lecherous thing you. But yeah she does. She does?hey wait a minute where was I? Umph, snooze ya looze! Becca?s remark was equally as stoic.

"Cause it was there." I barely made it into the bathroom before the door flew open and two huge Rottweilers charged into the room and on top of our king sized bed. I glanced into the hallway to see Margie holding her sides, with her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Becca?s screams of laughter rang through out the entire house.

"You big moose?s, get off me! Stace, help me! Get your pedigreed pets off me! Stacey Lynn McGregor, HELP!!" Nip and Tuck were making a total disaster of our bed. Becca tried to hide under the covers, pulling the blankets and pillows up over her head. But the two canines would have none of that. They simply burrowed under the bedclothes or grabbed them in their teeth and pulled. But when cold wet noses made contact with warm bare skin that was the final straw. Becca?s screams and shrieks hit a crescendo and I?m sure she could have shattered crystal.

"That?s it! That?s enough! Get your fat butts outta here now!" All motion stopped. My dogs had finally stopped their torture. They looked at Becca, stuck their noses in her face, and gave her one last wet sloppy lick before they jumped down. They trotted over to me where upon they sat down at my feet. They were panting slightly, but alert. They were the pictures of well-behaved, well-trained watchdogs. Becca?s eyes shot daggers in my direc-tion.

"What? Shit, let?s go guys!" Two pillows flew through the air and slammed against the wall just as Nip, Tuck and I ducked into the safety of the bathroom.

"Morning baby; whatcha studying?" Syd gave we a wry look.

"It?s afternoon mom, and I?m studying Ancient Greek Mythology." Jeeze Syd; you?re gonna quibble over a couple of hours? A couple hours, smartass it?s damned near 2:00pm, ya lazy butt ya. Lazy, I worked hard this morning for your information; I was exhausted. Unh huh? But what a way to exhaust myself.

"Hey I?m an old woman; I?m entitled to sleep in every now and then." My daughter?s snicker couldn?t be contained.

"Mom is didn?t sound like you were sleeping at all. What the heck were you doing anyway?" How ya gonna explain this smartass?

"Well?uh?honey?your mother and I?we were?" My wife entered the conversation just at that moment.

"Sydnee, what do you think we were doing?" Enough said. Even Sydnee didn?t want to put words to what Becca and I were doing.

"I guess that?s your way of saying it?s none of my business, right?" My angel kissed Syd?s cheek and nodded.

"That?s right sweetheart, but I will tell you we did enjoy ourselves very much." Sydnee?s face instantly turned beet red.

"Okay, that?s enough, the three of ya. Here get your minds out of the gutter and think about something else, like food." Oooo, now that brings to mind all kinds of possibilities. You?re depraved ya know that? Oh c?mon, tell me you weren?t thinking the same thing. The glare Margie turned on me could curdle milk.

"Yes of course, food and Ancient Greek Mythology, how?s that?" Margie sat the tray of homemade stew and baking powder biscuits on the table. "Wow Margie this looks and smells great. You lady are a great cook!" Margie looked at me like I was trying to suck up. I tried to reassure her my praise was genuine. "No really, I love your cooking; it?s always good isn?t it guys." C?mon help me out here.

"Mom?s right Margie this is really good. With the weather starting to turn cooler, this stew really hits the spot," Syd mumbled around a mouthful of the thick delicious stew. Becca nodded enthusiastically, but added.

"Syd, don?t speak with your mouth full. Stace and Syd are right Margie; you?ve outdone yourself as usual." Syd and Becca could always convince our cook of their sincerity, I on the other hand never seemed to be able to get the job done. So, I let my actions speak for me and dug into my lunch like a starving woman. That earned me a slap upside the head.

"You needn?t eat like a pig; slow down. No one is going to take your food from you ya know." Damn, I just can?t win.

"Yes ma?am." Margie simply grunted.

"I?ll be going now; your dinner is already. Becca just pop the lasagna in the oven for an hour @ 350 degrees." Almost as an afterthought, Margie turned and ruffled my still damp curly brown hair. Yeah I know, I love you too Marge. Becca smiled at me.

"Thank you Margie. Enjoy your weekend; see ya on Monday. You know you could bring your family over tomorrow and share our barbecue. You?re always welcome." Since my mouth was full, I figured I?d just nod, in agreement, rather than risk another slap on my noggin?. Even though Margie had a standing invitation to spend her Sundays with our friends and family, she always begged off.

"Thank you both, but we?ll be going to church tomorrow and then to Denny?s soccer game later in the afternoon." Denny was Margie?s grandson, her daughter?s youngest boy. At eleven, he was a holy terror, but with Margie and Hank?s guidance, along with two strong parents, the young boy would grow to a fine young man. Or Margie would know the reason why. With a wave of her hand, our housekeeper left.

We finished our meal, and I had eaten so much I felt like a beached whale. Becca and Syd both must have had a hollow leg because they seemed to be able to eat twice as much food as I could and never seem to be affected by over indulgence. Syd hopped up and began to clear away the dishes. I started to move to help, but Syd just shook her head.

"No mom. Let me do this, you and mother just sit and relax. Maybe later we could go for a drive up the coast? Do ya think?" Our daughter turned her eyes first to me, then to Becca in expectation.

"What do you think babe? Sound like fun?" Becca nodded.

"Sure let?s do it. I need to go to the market anyway to get a few last minute things for tomorrow. We can spend the day together and just relax. It?s about time don?t you think?" Damn straight. Do I get to come along? Could I keep you away? No. Then you might as well come along. Oh goody!

"All right!! Nip and Tuck can come too right?" My two mutts looked up at the mention of their names. "They?re family too." Of course, just don?t say that too loud, Margie might not agree.

"Definitely. Just make sure we have their toys." Syd scurried off to clear the dishes and get them in the dishwasher.

"C?mon guys, were gonin? to the beach. We got things to do." The joy and exuber-ance the blonde teenager displayed warmed my heart. God I pray she never has reason to lose her love of life. Becca took my hand and raised it to her lips and kissed the knuckles fondly.

"I love you, you do know that, don?t you? You are so good for us. Sydnee simply adores you, and so do I." I pulled our joined hands toward me and returned the kiss.

"I couldn?t or wouldn?t want to survive without both of you in my life. I thank God everyday for you both. And I love you too baby. Now let?s go have some fun, ?kay?"

Everyone piled into my Black Chevy Blazer 4x4 and headed up the Pacific Coast Highway. Our journey took us past our favorite seafood restaurant, ?The Lobster Tail?. Bernie Lowenstern owned and operated the restaurant for the past ten years, and we spent many an evening stuffing our faces with his seafood delicacies. Bernie also operated a catering business, and was constantly busy. He even provided the meals for the Oscar and Emmy awards show parties. His five star restaurant was world renowned, and fortunately for us, we had a table reserved for us any time we wanted to eat. Our private beach wasn?t much further up the highway, and wasn?t actually our beach. But for some unknown reason, very few people frequented it, and usually we could have the huge sandy area all to our-selves. And on the off chance there were people there, all I had to do was turn my two part canine wrecking crew loose, and they would usually clear the beach in nothing flat. Becca was embarrassed during those times, cringing at my gauche behavior. I admit, it is kinda mean, but what the heck. People, who don?t know us, are usually pretty uncomfortable a-round us, once they find out we are lesbians anyway. So I figure I?m doing them a favor by letting my dogs do the dirty work. They don?t have to hang around and be subject to our PDAs. That is the most cockeyed inane logic I have ever heard in my life. That?s what Becca says too. Well that should tell you something then huh? We pulled off the highway and down to the edge of the beach. Syd and the dogs flew out of the SUV like they?d been shot out of a canon.

"C?mon guys, lets go for a swim! Mom look!!" I looked up from the back of the SUV where I was digging out the dog?s toys. I didn?t see anything out of the ordinary.

"What babe, I don?t see anything." I think that?s what you?re supposed to see. Ooohhh.

"That?s just it mom! We have the beach to ourselves, isn?t that too cool?! C?mon mom, mother bring the stuff let?s play." It was simply amazing!

"How can a fifteen year old kid find such joy in an empty stretch of beach?" I just shook my head. Becca swatted me on the butt and ran down to the beach.

"It?s simple; the beach is fun! C?mon woman let?s go build a sandcastle." I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Why? So the tide can just come in and wash it all away? Where?s the fun in that?" Listen smartass, you build the sandcastle further up the beach away from the water. Duh! Oh yeah, that would work.

Becca had staked out a section of beach where we could lean back against an old log that had washed up there long ago, and sat far away from the surf. We had come here many times, just the two of us. We?d played here, cried here, and loved here. I think I?m still digging sand out of places where sand shouldn?t go. Did I tell you I hated sand? Becca had finished laying out all our goodies, when Syd and her canine playmates came charging up kicking sand all over our blanket.

"Hey cool it you guys, you?re getting sand all over." I thought a good sulk would help my cause; I was wrong.

"Oh mommie, I?m sorry. Did me and my big bad doggies get sand all over your little blankie?" All right kid, that?s it. You?re not too old to get an impromptu bath.

"You?ll think sand on my blankie! You?d better run kid, otherwise you?re gonna get a very, cold, very wet come upins?." Syd looked at the dead seriousness in my eyes, and started back peddling away from me.

"Mom, c?mon. I was just kidding. What?s the matter? Can?t you take a little joke? Mother, help me out here. Make her stop." Becca got up slowly, and started slowly toward the two of us.

"What makes you think I can stop her? What makes you think I want to?" Becca?s voice was at its best, lowest contralto, challenging our daughter to put up or shut up. "After all, you were taught to respect your elders, not back talk them. Just where do you think my allegiance would be?" Oh shit! You?d best be running kid; you fell in it with both feet.

"C?mon guys, let?s run for it. They?re old, we can out run them." Old, that does it.

"Stace did you hear that? Now we?re old. Let?s get the little shit!" Now you?re talk- ing.

"I?m with you babe. Syd, you?d better be saying your prayers girl cause you?re gonna get a saltwater bath." Syd?s eyes were as big as saucers, and as for the dogs, they did what any intelligent self-respecting mutt would do; they switch sides. When Syd saw her allies desert, she used the only recourse she had, she ran.

"Thanks a whole helluva lot! Ingrates! Son of a bitch!" Man now I?m outnumbered and out classed. Syd took off down the beach as fast as her legs could carry her. Syd was quick and resourceful, but that wouldn?t make up for genetics. Becca?s long legs and easy stride churned up the sand and made up the distance between mother and daughter in a flash. The expletives weren?t lost on my wife either.

"Now you?ll need to have your mouth wash out as well, potty mouth." Just as Becca was about to grab our irreverent daughter, Syd collapsed to the beach. Becca?s momentum carried her over the top of our laughing daughter. Then 200pounds of boisterous, barking dogs entered the fray, and the wrestling match was on. I stopped dead in my tracks deciding to watch the show rather than become an active participant. I flopped down into the sand to watch the two woman and dogs. As soon as the older woman got the upper hand the squirming teenager would entangle her legs with Becca?s thus taking away the taller woman?s advantage. Soon the daughter had the advantage and Becca found herself flat on her back with Syd straddling her stomach. Syd?s premature celebration was her downfall.

"Yes!! I won!! Ha! Youth over age wins every time!" The fist pumping teenager was about to learn a valuable lesson: With age comes experience.

"Yes but darlin?," my wife cooed, "don?t ever underestimate the value of experience." Just as quickly as Syd was on top, she found herself on the bottom and this time, Becca had her secured to the beach. With Nip lying on Syd?s feet, Tuck on her thighs, and Becca sitting squarely on her stomach, Syd was toast.

"All right! All right! I give." But Becca wasn?t quite finished. She slobbered big time on her index finger, and curled it to the second knuckle. She zeroed in on Syd?s left ear. "No mother don?t, not that! Please?" But the teenager?s repentance was too little too late. The finger contacted her ear, and smeared Becca?s slobbers all over the oral organ and the side of her face as well. The to add insult to injury, the two four legged traitors got up and licked Syd?s face liberally. The uproarious laughter from their play echoed across the beach and filled both human and canine with tremendous joy. God life is good! Becca climbed off our daughter towering over the fallen, sand covered teenager. She extended a hand down to the defeated little blonde to help her up.

"Pax?" Sydnee Renee grasped her mother?s hand and hoisted herself to her feet.

"Pax," she replied. Both women looked at each other and Becca pulled her daughter into a warm loving hug.

"I love you kiddo." She brushed unruly blonde locks from Syd?s eyes and resumed the embrace. Syd broke the embrace and gazed seriously up into the taller woman?s limpid pools with equally brilliant hazel orbs.

"I love to too mother." My pooped pups had trotted over and plopped down next to me with a thud. They had flopped over onto their backs waiting patiently for their expected belly rubbing, which I administered promptly. Becca and Syd sat down on either side of me still breathing heavily from their exsursions.

"Thanks for the back up there old girl." Hey what?d I do? I think you?re about to be chastised for your passivity. Passivity? Yeah, impressive ain?t I?

"What? Me? Hey I knew you could take her. You didn?t need me." Becca pinned me with cerulean pools.

"I?ll always need you, for everything; never forget that. But still your indecision needs?retribution! Let?s get her Syd!" Without warning, two women and two suddenly revived dogs attacked without warning.

"Way cool! Tickle fest!" Syd yelled, and attacked with even more fervor than she had against her mother. Becca knew all the most ticklish spots on my body and confined her attack there. Syd tore off my sandals sat on my legs and began to torment the bottoms of my feet. Of course, the dogs couldn?t be left out, and they responded to Syd?s command and began licking the bottoms of my feet as well.

"Guys?stop?stop?please?I give?not fair. Okay I quit! You win!" I sputtered between peels of laughter. God it felt good to let go like this. How long had it been since just the three of us?oops sorry?the five of us had so much fun, and not spend a dime doing it? Becca still wanted her pound of flesh.

"I wanna know who rules around here. Say it." Oh like there has ever been any doubt of that? Never!

"You do," I said softly.

"What? I didn?t hear that. Syd did you hear that?" Syd shook her head.

"Nope."

"Repeat that please?" Two long slender fingers on each hand were poised to resume the attack.

"I said, YOU DO!!! Okay!?" Becca leaned down and kissed me sweetly, yet passionately.

"No, WE do. I love you." I kissed my angel tenderly.

"Ditto. Hey if you guys will get off me and we go over to the blankie, I?ll start a fire and we can roast marshmallows and drink ice tea. How?s that?" Becca and the troops climbed off me and hefted me from the ground.

"I?m for that. Let?s go guys." The kid and the dogs were gone in a flash. Becca and I moved considerably slower.

"Ya just about got beat back there. That was close." Becca nodded.

"No doubt. Either I?m getting too old for this kind of stuff or our daughter is getting stronger." We looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

"Syd?s getting stronger!" We both laughed simultaneously.

"Okay, let?s get organized. Syd would you see if you can find some wood. Take those mangy animals with you too." Syd looked at us suspiciously.

"You guys just want to fool around while I?m gone." Becca's head snapped up and around in Syd?s direction.

"Hey now there?s an idea! Why didn?t we think of that!" Syd dropped her head in shame. The realization that this was a serious issue with Syd hit home, hard.

"Honey, you?re really serious aren?t you?" Syd nodded slightly.

"Babe were not trying to get rid of you; we?d never do that." I couldn?t believe Syd was serious about this.

"Oh mother, mom, I?m sorry. I just sometimes?I think?you two don?t really?you?d be just as happy without me?" I was totally shocked.

"My God Syd! Is that what you really believe? You think we don?t need you?" Syd knew she?d open a can of worms she hadn?t intended to.

"No mom, it?s not that. I know you both love me and I?m proud you?re my parents, but I look at both of you together and I see total commitment between the two of you. I feel like, if you didn?t have me, it wouldn?t be the end of the world. But if something happened to either one of you it would be." Sweet Jesus, our baby thinks we don?t need her! God how could we have let her think that? Becca and I reached out to touch and reassure our little girl.

"My little angel. I am so sorry we let you think for one instant our love is more important to us than you, because that is so not true. Oh sweetheart we wanted you so much. We begged and pleaded with every state government agency we could think of to allow us to adopt you. You couldn?t be more a part of us if your mum and I would have given birth to you. Sweetheart you complete us. We take so much pride and joy in you and the things you do. Our home would be empty without you in it. We love you and all your friends coming and going constantly." My angel held Syd to her breast and kissed and stroked her fine blonde hair.

"Baby we know one day you?ll have to go out on your own and make a life for yourself. The day you leave will be the saddest day of our lives. Please understand how much we love you and how important you are to us. Okay?" At this point, none of us could hold back the tears. The three of us sat there hugging each other with tears rolling down our faces. I broke the embrace to gaze at my special ladies. I lifted my little girl?s chin and looked directly in her eyes.

"Listen pumpkin the three of us are a family. When only one of us is gone, a very important piece of me is missing, and I am left with a gaping empty hole inside me that I can hardly bare. Don?t think for one minute you aren?t important to me or your mum, got that?" Syd nodded and I pulled both my angels into my arms and kissed them both. Syd sniffled a little and then in a soft childlike voice said.

"Mom you haven?t called me pumpkin since I was little." God how did the years get away from me so quickly?

"No?I guess?I?well?I didn?t think you?d like that since you?re growing up. My blonde haired angel looked me straight in the eye and spoke with all the seriousness she could muster.

"I?ll always be your pumpkin mom. I love you so much, both of you. And if I?d been allowed to pick my parents from all the parents in the world, I?d have picked you." Smart kid. Thanks. Well, someone has to look out for you, both of you.

"I think I?ll go find some wood for the fire. I?ll be a little bit. If you know what I mean." We will never live this down.

"God Bec, now our kid is giving us time and space to fool around. Next thing ya know she?ll be finding us an old folks home." Jeeze smartass, get a grip.

"Oh honey, don?t be so over dramatic. Things aren?t as bad as all that. Syd?s growing up. Kids do that y?know. She?s a very caring special person; she?s totally aware of people and life going on around her, very perceptive too. Honey we?ve taught her well and tried to prepare her for life as best we can. Now we have to stand back and let her test her wings. She?ll fall sometimes, but we?ll be there to help her up to try again. When she?s totally on her own, the things we?ve taught her will be enough to give her the knowledge and fortitude to carry on. She has your strength, toughness, and perseverance."

"Yeah well she has your heart, strength of character, and courage." Becca added.

"And she has an inner strength and beauty all her own. Babe she?ll do fine." Yeah but will we?

"Gods I hope so. I?m so scared for her. I know how unkind and intolerant people can be toward anyone who is the least bit different, or their beliefs don?t match theirs. God Becca, I want to be able to shield her from all that." Becca tightened her arms around my waist, kissed me gently, and whispered.

"I know; I do too, but we can?t. Those things she?ll have to deal with on her own. But she?s strong; she?ll put anyone in their place who needs to be, if she has to." The object of our conversation came walking around the point loaded down with firewood.

"I better go help the mighty ?woods woman?. Looks like she found enough wood for a month." I got up and Becca set about getting out the goodies for our impromptu picnic.

"Okay, I?ll get the tea and marshmallows and stuff ready."

In no time, we had a good sized fire burning hot enough to ward off the October late afternoon chill and roast our marshmallows. While we sat there toasting the sticky, gooey sweet treats, my mind wandered back to past excursions to the beach or camp trips to the mountains around Lake Tahoe and Big Bear Lake. We sat around the campfire just like this roasting wieners and marshmallows to make smores. One such trip occurred in July 1999?

"Is not," Ange yelled.

"Is so," Syd countered.

"Hey what are you two guys arguing about? Quiet down! You?ll scare away all the little forest creatures with your cattterwallering." The two best friends were in the process of toasting marshmallows for smores before they went to bed.

"Mom, Ange doesn?t know anything. You don?t put the marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers together before you toast the them." Ange interrupted curtly.

"Ya do too, if ya use the microwave." Oh man.

"My God Ange we?re clear out in the middle of the wilderness. You can?t use a microwave out here!" I couldn?t stay out of the conversation, and couldn?t resist the urge to give the girls a hard time.

"Hey Ange, all ya have to do is find a ?current bush?." Becca, who was snuggled comfortably between my legs leaning back against my chest, and the two girls, looked at me like I was nuts.

"Oh mom really!" Syd never bought my story for a minute, but Ange?she was another story altogether.

"There?s no such thing as a ?current bush? is there?" Syd slapped Ange upside the head.

"Of course not dummy, mom?s just blowing smoke. There is a currant bush, but not a current bush. See the difference?" By Ange?s blank expression it was obvious she didn?t. Becca slapped my thigh playfully and went to Ange?s rescue.

"Ange hon, there is such a thing as a currant bush spelled c-u-r-r-a-n-t. It?s a little red berry, a grape actually grown in some parts of California and on the Mediterranean. What my comedian wife is trying to pull on you is that there is a current bush spelled c-u-r-r-e-n-t. Trust me babe, there is no such thing." Finally the light dawned on our other daughter.

"Oh I get it! Hey that?s pretty good coach. I?ll have to remember that." Syd just rolled her eyes at her best friend.

"Brother, you are so gullible Ange." My love?s sweet kiss brought me back to the here and now.

"Where did you go just now? I?ve called your name twice." I liked getting the kiss to bring me back better than the name-calling.

"I was thinking about the summer before last when we took the kids camping up to the lake." Syd remembered instantly just where my thoughts had wandered.

"No kidding! You pulled out the old ?current bush? joke on Ange. Man that gag is older than I am." Get outta here. Why?Shut up. I?ll tell her.

"Sweets that gag is older than I am. My dad, during the rare times he was actually human, used to take me camping and he pulled that gag on me too. The only difference was that he took great pleasure in me running around half the night actually looking for the damn bush." Becca stroked my face with her fingers and palmed my cheek with her hand. I leaned into the gentle, loving carress.

"I think that?s mean," she said simply.

"Yeah, well?" I never finished my thought; no sense in crying over spilled milk. Be- sides, I didn?t want to spoil our fun day with bad memories.

Becca, Syd, and I sat there in companionable silence listening to the sound of the surf lapping against the shore, and watching the sun disappear slowly into the Pacific Ocean. We were sitting in our favorite position. Becca was between my legs leaning against my chest with my arms wrapped around her. Syd was sitting in a similar position between Becca?s long legs. Nip and Tuck lay on either side of Syd with their heads resting on each of Syd?s thighs. We were certainly a family. Maybe not the traditional family polite society deems acceptable, but a family nonetheless. And as much as I hated to end this beautiful tranquil moment, I knew we needed to take off.

"Ladies, as much as I hate to, I have to end this little excursion. We?d better get going because we still have to stop at the market to get Becca?s goodies for tomorrow." Oh yeah, now there?s an experience I?d sure hate to miss. No one said you had to come along.

"Mom, can we stop at ?The Lobster Tail? for dinner? Please?" Great, she just had to throw in the pleading please.

"What about Margie?s lasagna? She went to a lot of time and effort into putting that food together for us?" I could see the gears grinding in Syd?s head. She was sure to come up with an alternative solution.

"We could save it for tomorrow and share it with everyone at the barbecue." My partner was no help either.

"Y?know darling we could grab a quick dinner at Bernie?s, and then go to the market on our way home, sound good?" C?mon smartass, you know you want to.

"Please mom? I know there?s a lobster just waiting there with your name on it. We haven?t been to Uncle Bernie?s for a long time, and you?re just dying to have seafood." I am so whipped. Heh heh?

"Sure why not. You guys have to explain to Margie though."

Once we were able to deal with some of the more traumatic events connected with the accident; Syd would join our therapy sessions too. The horrendous events of that day didn?t just affect Becca and me, but Syd as well. All three of us needed to heal. We had to communicate all our feelings, even those most painful and hurtful. Speaking of communi- cating, try finding out what?s bothering Becca. I reached out to take my angel?s hand in mine. I squeezed it gently, trying with every fiber of my being to make my angel understand I was always here for her.

"Hey babe, what are you thinking about?" My lover?s fear and pain was so close to the surface, sometimes it was just overwhelming.

"God Stace, I try not to let this get to me?it?s the memories?I?I?m?I was so afraid I?d die and never see your face, never be able to hold you, touch you, love you?and Syd too." The tears fell unbidden; nothing could have stopped them, nor did I want them to stop. I pulled off the highway with the intention of comforting my wife. I drew my world into my arms and held her close to my chest. I whispered words of love and assurance in her ear. I willed every bit of strength I had in my body to transfer into hers.

"Listen my angel everything will be fine. We?ll get through this, I promise. Do you trust me?" I felt a slight nod against me. "Baby I?ve never lied to you, I never will. Believe me when I tell you I will do everything in my power to make all this pain go away. Now tell me would you rather go on home instead of going to Bernie?s?" Again a simple nod. The other member of our family was in tears too. God please tell me when will this all end?

"Mom, mother we can go on home to eat. Suddenly I?m not very interested in eating fish." What a kid! Just as quickly as they fell, Becca?s tears dried up and she was back in control.

"Hey you two, are you sure you don?t mind? I don?t want to spoil everyone else?s evening." That?s my angel, always thinking about everyone else?s feelings before her own.

"Mother we can always go out to dinner; let?s just go home. Besides it doesn?t matter where we are as long as we?re together. I?m all for going home and watch Xena kick some warlord?s fat butt. Does that sound like a plan or what?" Works for me; that?s one hot chick! Haven?t you ever noticed she looks a bit like Becca? A bit butch sometimes though don?tcha think? Yeah but ya notice she always gets the best table at the inn. What?s the matter coward, too much woman for ya? Hey Becca?s all the woman I want or need.

"Becca I love you. Syd would you drive please?" What are you nuts; that girl is dangerous! If you don?t like it you can walk.

"All right Mom! Cool!" Syd was out of the car and around the front in a heartbeat. As we passed, I cautioned her.

"Just take it easy okay? Even though she says otherwise, your mum?s very fragile right now. She needs to be held, but I can?t do that and drive too." My little girl nodded as she opened the passenger?s side door for me. "Oh by the way, stop by Grave?s Market to get the rest of Becca?s goodies for tomorrow." The little smartass bowed deeply at the waist as Becca climbed out and we got into the back.

"I am at your service oh exalted ones. Your wish is my command." What a ham.

"Just get in the car and drive. Try to keep it under 100mph huh?" I crawled into the car after Becca; I ignored the seat belt. I know; I know, but it?s damn hard to snuggle when you?re strapped into the damn seat.

I wrapped my angel in my arms, rubbed her back in soft small circles trying to convey all my love hoping to repair her damaged psyche.

"Angel I know you?re hurting, but I want you to remember how much I love you. I need you with me always. If I could wave a magic wand over you to make all the hurt go away; I would, but I can?t. When you hurt, I hurt; when you cry it breaks my heart." I continued holding her, caressing my lover until I felt her relax in my arms.

"I love you so much Dr. McGregor. You?re my salvation you know that, don?t you? I could never have gotten through this without you." Humph! Then why am I so ashamed of what I did?

"Baby I wish I could do things differently. I was so hateful, hurtful to you. I was so cruel. God Becca how can you still say you love me? How can you stand to be anywhere near me? I am so sorry. Please forgive me?" My angel lifted her head to fix me with steely cobalt eyes.

"Stace you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I knew even through all the anger and pain you still loved me just as I loved you. You did what you had to do. Who knows; if you hadn?t have done want you did, I could still be in that damned wheelchair feeling sorry for myself." My love kissed the exposed skin underneath my open collar. She snuggled deeper into my arms. The car radio played Trisha Yearwood?s "How Could I Live?" I hummed along with the song trying to soothe my wife. It felt so good just to hold her in my arms. God I can?t remember a time when we weren?t together. 1962. That was the first time I saw her. Where did all those thirty-eight years go? I was such an angry, battered kid. How could she even stomach being around me? What did she see in me that no one else did? I?m not much for praying or giving thanks; maybe I should be, but thank you God for bringing my angel to me.

The traffic became a little heavier as we got closer to town. Malibu was becoming trendier by the day. The beautiful people were moving here by the truckloads to be near the sea. I?m thinking that we need to move?maybe the top of a mountain somewhere would be nice. I'm getting to where I hate all the people, the congestion, the smog?but then I couldn?t bring myself to sell our house overlooking the ocean. There are too many happy memories here to leave, far more good than bad. No this is our home; this is where we?ll stay.

Our chauffeur pulled into Grave?s Market to purchase the last few items to complete Becca?s menu. The ?October Blowout?, as it had come to be called over the last twelve years had become an annual affair for our friends and family. It was the final barbecue consisting of beef ribs and chicken. There will be no hot dogs or hamburgers, but we added every kind of salad imaginable, along with soda, ice tea, and beer for the adults. I turned up the heat in the pool and we?d have a huge water polo game. The hot tub would be full to overflowing as well. Bec and I opted for water polo cause it was less stressful for middle-aged joints and no one had drowned in the last twelve years. This was the last big fling of the summer and we wanted everyone to thoroughly enjoy themselves.

"Well we made it in one piece anyway," Syd remarked as she killed the engine and handed me the keys.

"I had all the faith in the world in you babe. There was never any doubt in my mind." We wrapped our arms around Syd?s shoulders, book ending her between us.

"Thanks for driving hon, I just needed your mom to hold me for a bit." Syd turned to her mother to so she could kiss her cheek reverently.

"Anytime mother. I know sometimes a hug does wonders for the spirit. You taught me that. So, what else do we need for this blowout tomorrow? I know! Why don?t we divide the list so each of us can get part of the stuff? Then it won?t take so long." Becca and Syd turned their eyes to me, the dubious expressions on their faces told me all I needed to know regarding their faith in my shopping abilities.

"I don?t know kiddo, remember what happened the last time we sent her to the store for just one simple little thing?" Syd couldn?t hide the smirk.

"Yeah that was a joke! A couple of pounds of bananas turned into almost the entire fruit stand!" I don?t have to take this. Why the truth too much for ya?

"What? Can I help it if they had all the kinds of fruit I liked on special? ?Sides we used it all! Don?t forget my Scottish Fruit Salad was a big hit. And you can?t deny it. Every- one raved about my Mac-a-Fruit Cocktail Delight! So there." That?s cause of all the booze in the damned stuff. It was true. My salad and tropical fruit drinks were the most popular things there. All I needed was fruit, crushed ice, sugar, and a little alcohol and I was good to go. Of course Margie wouldn?t let me in her kitchen, so I had to set up a makeshift bar out by the pool, but hey all great artists have to suffer a little for their art.

"Mother, I think if I go with mom, she can?t get in too much trouble." Well smartass how does that feel? Like I can?t be trusted to do a simple thing like grocery shopping.

"Now wait just a damn min?"

"Ah mom, don?t be mad; we just like to tease you a little." I stuck my lower lip out in a bit of a pout hoping that would earn me points, but no such luck.

"Yeah don?t feel bad honey, we still love you even if you?re not a very good shopper." My angel punctuated that last remark with a sweet lingering kiss.

"I guess I understand. After all, I wouldn?t want you two to do brain surgery on me either." With that announcement, I promptly strutted into the market leaving two startled women behind.

Our shopping excursion didn?t take long only because Syd and Becca kept me on a short leash. Still, I really did like to browse, and the temptation to look around was just too much. If only I?d have stayed put, I wouldn?t have had to deal with the trouble I found in the fresh veggie section. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted someone I liked even less than Harriet Randall: Stella McIntyre. This is just great, where is Becca when I need her?

"Dr. McGregor oh good. That is you; I thought so. It?s been so long since we?ve had the opportunity to chat. I missed you at the Los Angeles Foundation for the Arts dinner last night. I did have a chance to speak with your Becca though. My she is charming isn?t she?"

My God this woman makes my skin crawl! I have never met a more predatory woman in my life. Gender is a moot point for this broad. Men, women, young, or old, it doesn?t matter. Short or fat, tall or skinny doesn?t bother her in the least. The only prerequisite required is that the person be loaded or have position, and of course his/her heart must be beating, but not too steadily. She already bedded and buried three husbands. Her many liaisons reportedly included entertainers, famous athletes, and politicians. What- ever possessed her to glom on to me is beyond me, but I had no intentions of putting up with her any longer than absolutely necessary. The really incredible thing was this woman fancied herself a beauty. Frankly, she looked like "?she?d been rode hard and put up wet." Man I?m outta here.

"Yeah well, there was an emergency at the center. I put in a rather long day. If you?ll excuse?" Damn this woman is harder to get rid of than stink on?don?t even go there.

"Really Stacey, you don?t mind if I call you Stacey. I feel we are such close friends. The work you do is so important, but so stressful. I?m sure you must be absolutely exhausted by the end of the day. I hope Rebecca is conscious of the contribution you make to the community and takes care of your needs properly." Stella traced her fingers up and down my bare arm, trying to convey her sexual innuendo much clearer. In actuality, all she accomplished was to make my skin crawl. After her touch on my skin, I felt like I needed a germicidal bath. I was about to tell her to take a hike when a low, menacing, yet sexy contralto voice reverberated near my ear. Becca wrapped her arms around me from behind, blatantly caressing my breasts through the cotton material of my shirt. The actions of my wife were just too obvious, to anyone who cared to notice that is; she was clearly marking her territory. I was definitely out of bounds to any would-be wife stealers. Becca?s tone and actions were unquestionably possessive in nature.

"Yes Ms. McIntyre, my wife?s needs are more than amply met."

In addition to that challenge, Becca rubbed her face over my hair and cheek, then nuzzled my neck seductively. All the while, one hand continued to fondle my breast. The other began a journey lower stopping just short of my pubis. What the hell, I thought. What?s the worst thing that could happen? We?d be asked to leave the store and never come back. Or you could be tossed in jail for lurid conduct in public. Wouldn?t Harley just love that? I raised my arm above Becca?s head, and tangled my fingers into the thick inky tresses I loved to touch. I leaned my body back into my angel?s and began to gyrate my ass rhythmically into Bec?s crotch. What was intended to embarrass this woman into leaving abruptly was turning into something far more carnal. Fortunately Syd was in another part of the store and wasn?t here to watch her parent?s debauchery. Finally Ms. McIntyre bought a clue and excused herself.

"My?uh?would you look at the time. I?um?I really must be going. I?m entertaining the mayor and a few other guests this evening. I do hope we see more of each other Dr. McGregor, Rebecca. Good bye." Thank the gods. What a bitch! Becca released me slowly from her sensual embrace.

"Jesus Becca! What in the hell did you think you were doing? Shit! You damned near ravaged me in the damn produce section!" My lover licked my ear sloppily, breathing heavily as she did.

"What?s the matter baby? Wouldn?t you like to see some really ripe, plump melons?" Shit, woman you?re gonna be the death of me one day. Just then Syd caught up with us. She had caught just the last part of the conversation.

"What was that about ripe melons?" Syd queried. The she saw my flushed face and her mother?s smartass smirk. "Never mind, I don?t want to know. You guys didn?t do anything we?re gonna read about in the tabloids again did you?" Your child knows you all too well. Shut up; don?t bring that up again, ever! C?mon where?s your sense of humor. It isn?t everybody who falls asleep on the beach nude, then gets caught by a photographer from the National Enquirer. "C?mon you two, let?s go home; God I can?t take you anywhere!" Humph!

It seemed like it took us half the night to get all the groceries carried into the house, then put them away in their appropriate homes. It never ceases to amaze me how much food we put out for just one of these ?little parties?. It?s almost obscene; there are people just a few miles from here who are living on the streets, don?t have descent clothes, and hardly any nourishing food. Then here we are stuffing our guts like hedonistic pigs. Why do I feel guilty? Didn?t I work for what we have, and aren?t we entitled to live in luxury? Becca says I over analyze everything. Duuuuhhhh! Well I guess that?s just something else I?ll have to talk to Dr. Friar about. Sydnee René found one of the ?goodies? I tried to smuggle into the house undetected.

"Hey mom, what is this?" She held a package of chicken gizzards gingerly in her hand. Oh she'll love the explanation for this.

"They?re chicken gizzards," I explained matter of factly. I thought she might actually throw up.

"What?" She dropped the package on the counter like it was unclean. My angel explained what function a chicken gizzard performed.

"Sweetheart, it?s simple really," my wife said sarcastically. "A chicken ingests gravel and other ?foreign substances? and the gizzard is where all this stuff ends up. It aids in the digestion. You could call it a garbage disposal of sorts." Thanks a lot Bec. That was really helpful.

"And you guys eat this stuff?" Becca shook her head emphatically.

"No way, not me," she pointed at me. "Your ?other mother? does. I wouldn?t touch those with a twenty-foot pole. She also eats Rocky Mountain Oysters." My baby girl stared at me like I was a cannibal or something.

"My God mom! Please tell me you don?t eat bull?s test?" I stopped her in mid-sentence. When described in those terms they did somehow seem unclean.

"Now look, I don?t give you a hard time about some of the junk you two eat, so don?t be badmouthing what I eat. After all, I didn?t mention the snails, squid, octopus?God knows what else you two put into your mouth and call them delicacies. So don?t knock what I eat unless you?re willing to try it yourself." There enough said. Becca was putting the finish- ing touches on Margie?s lasagna, while Syd finished up the Caesar Salad, and I sliced the garlic bread. The wine had already been uncorked and was breathing. Dinner was ready to eat.

"Frankly, I think we?d better get this on the table. Margie?s meals are far better than anything else mentioned heretofore. So let?s eat. Syd will you get the table set and you woman, help me carry this in to the dinning room." My lover towered over me looking as intimidating as she could?and pretty damn successful too I?d say?even though she wasn?t trying very hard. I planted a wet sloppy kiss on Bec?s cheek, took the pan of lasagna and got a swat on the butt to boot.

"Okie dokie baby. I?m all over it." I met Syd in the dinning room and she stared at me with a disgusted, confused look on her face.

"Mom how can you eat that stuff. It?s so gross. And don?t tell me it tastes like chicken." Oops there goes my plan.

"Actually babe, I haven?t had Rocky Mountain Oysters since I was a kid. And honest-ly I can?t really tell you what they tasted like. Kinda like tongue I guess." Oooo, that?ll go over big.

"Tongue!! Mom you ate tongue? How could you? Oh that is so gross." How do you explain to a kid who has been raised on rich, ?normal? food that when I grew up you never wasted anything? Just about every part of an animal was used for something from nourish-ment to clothes to medicines.

"Baby, I was raised in a farming/ranching community. In my day, people who lived off the land were not terribly rich. We never wasted anything if it could possibly be used for something." As we sat down to dinner, I told my daughter.

"We never threw anything away if it could be fixed and used again. I remember a time when I was cleaning out the trunk of the car. I had two piles: a keeper pile and a throwaway pile. I put a coffee can, with both ends cut out of it, on the throwaway pile?"

"What?dya throwin? that away for?" my ol? man asked sarcastically.

"What?s it good for; both ends are cut out?" I asked.

"Not wanting to incur my ol? man?s wrath, I hurriedly put the thing back in the trunk. It wasn?t until years later I found out he used it to put charcoal briquettes in; evidently, they heated to a white-hot heat much quicker. But what the hell did a fifteen-year-old kid know about heating briquettes?" Both Becca and Syd fixed their eyes on me, their gaze?s very in- tent. My angel smiled at me, her eyes misting over at the bittersweet memory from my youth.

"You see baby, your mom and I were raised in a community where people lived and worked together, and the entire economy was based on the land. We tried very hard not to abuse the land or the animals living on it because without either we wouldn?t have been able to make a living." Syd was a little puzzled.

"But mother, gramps wasn?t a farmer or a rancher. He didn?t depend on the land for his job. He was a cop." The younger generation just doesn?t understand.

"Pumpkin maybe Harley didn?t earn a living directly from the land, but without the farmers and the ranchers, there wouldn?t have been a Bannock, California. And if there was no town, Harley and Angie would have lived somewhere else, and I might never have met your mum. And there wouldn?t have been anyway we would be a family today." It was as though a lightning bolt struck our daughter right between the eyes, and the light dawned.

"No way mom! You two were meant to be together. Ya know fate. It?s like Mrs. Thorton, my Ancient Mythology teacher says. People back then believed the gods controlled their lives and destinies from the day they were born. So ya see, the fates kinda picked out whom were supposed to be with whom. Get it? In your case, the fates decided you and mother were supposed to be together. It was destiny preordained even, that you were supposed to whack gramp?s motorcycle with that softball. Just like it was planned out already that you guys were supposed to get me too. You should read some of this stuff; it?s really cool." Destiny, is she kidding? Destiny didn?t have anything to do with it; it was just plane dumb luck that you hit the ?jarine?s? puddle jumper.

"Destiny? Ya think? Angel, what do you think?" My lover smiled and squeezed both our hands over the table.

"If it was destiny, or just plane luck, I thank the powers that be everyday for both of you. And as for reading ?this stuff?, did you know darlin? that the good doctor?s undergradu- ate degree was in English Literature and Ancient Civilization? Good ol? mom is a walking talking expert on the subject!" I couldn?t help the blush. Even after all these years, I felt my angel?s praise of me was misplaced. My daughter?s surprise could have been voiced a little differently?

"No shit?" ?and Rebecca Marie let her know in no uncertain terms.

"Sydnee René McGregor don?t use that kind of language. Not only is it unladylike, but it shows a decided lack of poise and education." Whoa who let Bridget Stewart Lindsey into this house? Ya got me. I don?t know who was more shocked, Syd or me, but Syd took the high road and made the right choice.

"Sorry mother. I apologize." I took Becca?s hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Ladylike? Poise and education? C?mon babe, Harley would have a fit if he thought you were sounding like Bridget. Syd darlin?, don?t swear ?cause it sounds like hell." God, what kind of family is this? The best!

"And as far as the expert stuff, I wouldn?t say that, but I did enjoy all the legends and stories about ancient Greece. All of the Gods and Goddesses, Hercules, Jason and the Argonauts, Homer?s The Odessy and The Iliad, The Legend of Troy, they were my way of getting away from a painful childhood I guess. Then when I got older, I just continued to do research and studied. I liked all the legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table too. I was fascinated by medieval society. I loved reading Shakespeare and Milton. Still do I guess." I had Syd?s rapt attention.

"I used to fantasize that I was a great knight, and Rebecca was a damsel in distress and my ol? man was the evil black knight. I would come to the village square in the nick of time and sweep the fair damsel away on my charger and we?d live happily ever after. I didn?t give it any thought that that sort of fantasy would be frowned on by most of the good townsfolk as being perverted or deviant behavior. Shoot I never thought of my fantasy in any kind of sexual way. All I knew was that Becca was my best friend and best friends always helped each other out." Syd got up and walked around the table to where I was sitting. She threw her arms around my neck and unceremoniously plopped down in my lap. She kissed my cheek sweetly.

"Gosh mom, I hope someday I find someone to love and who loves me as much as you and mother love each other. I wanna have kids maybe too. And if I do, I?m gonna raise them the same way you?re raising me. I love you guys very much." I feel a group hug coming on. Don?t worry, you don?t have to join in; it fact I?d prefer you didn?t.

"We love you too very much. Now let?s get the table and dishes cleaned up. We have just enough time before Xena starts. Oh by the way, speaking of Xena, you do know in Ancient Greece, there were no Clydesdales don't you?" Syd couldn?t believe I thought she was that gullible.

"Mom, I know Xena isn?t historically accurate, but heck it?s fun entertainment. I think there?s a message there too. Ya know women can be strong and do whatever they want, without a man saying it?s okay. And that we?re not all perfect, but we do the best we can day in and day out." Now I was curious; I wanted to hear Syd?s opinion.

"Uh don?t you think the violence is a bit much?" Syd looked at me thoughtfully.

"Well mom, I know that swords, spears, knives and such are pretty lethal, but what?s on Xena is just television. It?s not real. But I know that if I took a knife and stabbed some-body that is real, but that?s something I?d never do. You taught me that violence never solves anything. It just creates more and bigger problems. I gotta say, I do get a kick outta the way Xena and Gabby kick butt. Sometimes, I can see where I would like to do that to the rotten people in this world. Like Faraday, and that Grayson guy, but the law took care of Faraday, and you took care of Grayson to save mother and me. That?s justice, not murder." I keep having to remind myself who is the adult here. Not to worry, if you forget, ya got me to remind ya. See how that works. Yes I?m beginning to.

"You?re a pretty smart cookie y?know that?" Syd blushed at my praise and my hug and kiss.

"Aahh mom, I?m just saying what you would." I?m not too sure.

"Hey let?s go watch that butt kickin? Warrior Princess!" Syd and I charged into the living room to lay claim to the best, most comfortable spots on the couch. Becca just followed along behind shaking her head, with Nip and Tuck following her.

"Last one there is a rotten egg." Syd clicked on the big screen TV, surround sound stereo and all, just as the opening teaser began. The new season had begun, and "The Haunting of Amphipolis" was the latest episode. Syd thought the two archangels were a bit campy.

"Mom angels don?t really look like that do they? You went to Catholic school. Did the sisters ever tell you what they looked like or did you see pictures? I always thought they looked like the little buck naked cherub guys." How the heck would you know? Little devils, now that?s something you?d know about. I don?t think anyone?s ever seen an angel. I?ve never seen an angel. I have. She has long black hair, the bluest eyes, and the most beautiful face and body in the world.

"Babe, I really don?t know. Remember this is Hollywood after all, I don?t think they know either." The down to earth, logically thinking brain my daughter possessed wanted concrete evidence.

"They have to do some research don?t they, I mean if they want their show to be believable." You can?t have it both ways girl.

"Wait a minute, who was it just a minute ago said this was just entertainment, ya know this wasn?t real, hum? How ?bout we just watch?" Becca snuggled deeper into my shoulder.

"I second that?" Just then, Eve was casting Mephistopheles spirit out of Gabrielle.

"All right Eve, you go girl." Syd was really into this show. "C?mon Xena, it?s time to let this scum bag know who?s the boss in Amphipolis!" The show?s climax was the culmin- ating battle between Xena and the King of Hell, and naturally, Xena was triumphant, again.

"?The legend. Xena, you killed the King of Hell. What happens now?"

"Way cool, I guess they?ll live to fight another day." Syd yawned and stretched muscles, tired and stiff from half sitting, half laying on Becca. "Think I?m gonna take a bath and go to bed," she said as she kissed us both goodnight. "Love ya."

"G?night baby, sweet dreams." Both Becca and I wished our little girl love and pleasant dreams. I clicked off the TV, and turned on the stereo to an easy listening station that played mostly old soft rock love songs from the eighties. I had to admit; the older I got the mushier I got. I loved cuddling on the couch with my baby. The soft glow from the low lights and the aroma of burning vanilla spice candles created a romantic ambiance.

"Mmm, this is nice," my wife purred. "I love spending this time of day with you. It?s so peaceful, and I feel so safe and content in your arms. I love you my heart." Lips found lips; the gentle exploration turned more passionate as each moment passed.

"I love you too my soul. You were the beginning of everything good in my life." Again full moist lips joined in a searing kiss. God I love the taste of my beloved?s sweet mouth and tongue. I lightly traced my baby?s full swollen lips with the tip of my tongue asking and gaining admittance into my wife?s warm luscious oral cave. The groan that erupted from my lips began deep in my gut and worked its way out. While our mouths enjoyed each other, my hands started a gentle exploration of my angel?s gorgeous body. This was rapidly getting way out of hand.

"Baby, stop. Please." I tried to convey to my wife what I wanted, but it was even clearer what she wanted. Her long slender fingers slipped inside the waistband of my shorts, then lower still until they reached my wet curly patch.

"I can?t, I want you and it?s pretty obvious you want me too." Those fingers worked their magic and I was quickly becoming putty in my artist?s hands.

"Of course I want you. Your fingers feel so good down there, but?oh God?yes?no. Becca STOP!!" My angel withdrew her hand like it had been burned.

"Stace what?s wrong, are you hurt?" Becca?s eyes were filled with love and concern. Jesus way to go smartass, you scared the hell out of your woman. I gently drew Becca?s lips to mine for a sweet kiss.

"No lover, that?s not it at all. What I?m trying to say?unsuccessfully?is that we have a huge, cushy king sized bed. I want you so much, but not here on this narrow couch. I?m gonna make sweet passionate love to you all night. Your screams of passion will fill this house. I?m sorry if I led you to believe I didn?t want you. I?ll always want you my heart. I love you. Now come lay with me, let me love you." My sweet angel nodded and lifted her long lithe body off of me with feline seductiveness and grace.

"Yes my soul, but the jury is still out on whom will ravage whom," she murmured in a breathy, sexy voice near my ear. Oh shit I am in so much trouble here. Becca lifted me in one smooth motion into her strong arms, and carried me to our love bed. She was so strong; it felt so good to be carried in her arms this way. Our lips connected automatically, and the kiss broke only when she lowered me gently to the bed and whispered.

"You are so beautiful my love. I want to touch and taste every inch of your gorgeous body." Yes oh ye? Wait a minute, not so fast there lover; this is my deal here. I deftly flipped both of us over until my angel was lying underneath me, and I had her pinned to the soft mattress.

"Uh, uh. Not so fast there my friend. I?m not gonna let you pull a fast one. I?m gonna love you first. Got that. I want you so much baby; I?m going to take you sweetheart; so just lay back and enjoy my touch. Will you do that for me?" My lover nodded, her eyes mere slits of lust. Will you do anything I ask of you?" Again a nod accompanied by a soft moan. My lover?s chest was moving up and down rapidly, a signal of her growing arousal. Both our clothes ended up in a pile on the floor in record time. I couldn?t resist tasting her heaving breasts, the dark hard points calling me to reach out for them. I lowered my mouth to the closest hard nipple drawing it deep into my mouth with a firm sucking motion. I pulled it with my teeth, sucking as I did so and then releasing it with a sloppy wet popping noise. I repeated my actions watching the turgid nub become even harder and more swollen. I didn?t neglect the other breast either. I rolled it repeatedly between my fingers, pulling and pinching Becca?s beautiful tit until is was red and throbbing. She liked me to play with her tits, and I loved the feeling of the beautiful globes in my hands and mouth. I couldn?t resist the sirens call and began feasting continuously on first one breast and then the other. Becca arched her back into my mouth in an attempt to force more contact. She nearly suffocated me with the warm succulent flesh. Oh but what a way to go!

"Stace that?s so nice. You are so good at loving me. I want so much more." Becca?s pleas didn?t fall on deaf ears. I slipped lower on her body, raining kisses all over her chest, ribs, and abs. Her mouth-watering scent was calling to me to feast on the tantalizing nectar she was producing between her legs.

"I can smell you lover. You are so ready for me aren?t you? Open yourself to me baby. Spread you legs and let me see your savory cunt." My lover?s legs opened wide, and she used her long slender fingers to spread her labia to lay bare her leaking honey hole to my view.

"Here I am my darling. I am yours. Take me, love me, make me cum. Everything I have is yours, only yours. Please lover please." I wasn?t going to leave my beautiful wife wanting, so I leaned in to fill my nostrils with the wonderful aroma. My mouth watered at the musky, sexy smell. I had intended to make my lover beg, but the need I had to taste my woman?s ambrosia was too great, and I plunged my tongue deep inside my sweet baby?s core without preamble. I thrust my oral member in and out of Becca?s delicious center setting up a steady loving rhythm.

"Mmmm yes lover. Feels so good. Take your time. I don?t want to cum for a long time. Make it last baby, fuck me good. Use me baby, use me." Oh yeah, your wish is my command. I withdrew my tongue, but used it like a cotton swab, licking and sucking every surface of my angel?s pink, swollen, love lips. Her clit was peaking out of its protective hood, and I couldn?t resist the urge to suck it between my teeth and lips and give it a good tongue bathing. The good loving I was administering to my lover was having a profound affect. Her hips shot up from the bed, and it was all I could do to keep her from throwing me off. Bec- ca?s head was moving erratically from one side of the pillow to the other, her hands were tangled in my curly brown locks, forcing my face harder into her cunt begging for more con-tact. And if it was contact she wanted, it was contact she?s get. Without warning I plunged three fingers into my baby?s dripping, sopping pussy.

"I?m gonna fuck you now baby. Feel my fingers deep inside you. Hmmm, you feel so good and tight on my hand. You like this don?t you? You like being fucked hard and deep, admit it. Tell me how good this feels." My lover?s moans were constant now, and the keening scream that was beginning deep in my lovers guts and working out was a signal of her impending orgasm. "That?s is baby cum for me. Give it to me! Cum Becca! Spill your juices on my hand so I can drink from you." I dropped my face back to her clit and took the turgid nub into my mouth. I began sucking it like a small cock, matching the rhythm of my fingers moving in and out of Becca?s pleasure hole. The scream my wife loosed from her throat nearly broke my eardrums, and her legs clamped together pinning my head between her powerful thighs. Her body shook and quaked for some time from the strength of her climax, then everything went still and silent. My wife?s erratic breathing was finally calming. But I wasn?t finished yet. I wanted more from her, and I wanted to satisfy myself in the process.

"Turn over baby, on your stomach." My command went unheeded for a moment.

"I don?t think I can. Oh baby?" I gathered my lover into my arms and kissed and stroked her head.

"Please baby, please," I begged. Slowly she rolled over and positioned herself on her stomach. "Now get up on your knees and spread your legs for me. I want that sweet ass of yours up high. Do it." My order was readily complied with this time. "Oh yeah that?s it." I ran my hands over the firm round cheeks of my wife?s ass. I leaned down to kiss, lick and nip the succulent flesh. I ran my fingers down the crack of her ass, with my tongue following close behind. My oral muscle invaded the sweet puckered opening of my baby?s ass, and then traveled down to the sopping wet slit of her pussy. "Hmmm, you taste so good baby. I?m going finger fuck you again and I?m gonna ride your ass while I do it. I?m gonna spread my cunt wide open and I?m gonna hump you good. I?ll rub my clit on you until we both cum." I thrust my fingers deep into my baby?s pussy and spread my labia with the other. I began sliding up and down on my lover?s tight ass. Her smooth skin was coated with my juices that were pouring out of me. Our carnal grunts and groans filled the air.

"Yes baby, you feel so good. Hummm so good, more baby more." My lover wanted more. Oh yeah more is good. With my free hand I reached into the night stand drawer and removed one of our toys. I slipped my fingers from my lover?s cunt, much to her chagrin. I slipped the phallus between my lover?s cunt lips and coated it liberally with her love juices. Then I asked.

"Do you feel this baby? Is this what you want? Do you want me to fuck you with my big thick long cock? Tell me baby." I continued to rub the toy the length of my lover?s slit occasionally dipping inside her core, but never staying long enough to relieve my lover?s needs.

"Yes?God?yes," my angel hissed. "Do it! Fuck me baby!!!" With that plea, I plunged the thick instrument deep into my lover?s steaming twat. I fucked her with long forceful strokes, pulling almost totally out before plunging back deep into my lover?s hole. "Aaahhh, ungh, ungh, oh yeah, yeah! FUCKMEFUCKMEFUCKMEFUCKME!!! YESYESYESYES!!! HARDERHARDERHARDERDEEPERDEEPERDEEPER!!" I love the way my angel responded to me. I kept up the forceful fucking and humping of my lover. Our sweating hunching bodies were slamming against each other with such force it was a wonder we didn?t do damage. I could feel the tingling sensations beginning deep inside me and working its way out. The tingling grew in force until my orgasm struck me hard. When the inevitable happened, we both collapsed to the bed neither of us able to move. I lay on top of my lover and moved her sweat soaked hair away from her face to place gentle kisses on her neck and shoulder.

"Babe are you okay? I love you so much. God that was so intense." I rolled over onto my back. The next thing that happened was the last thing I expected. My lover was kneeling between my legs with a feral grin on her face. The double-ended phallus was in its harness and positioned in my wife?s cunt. She stroked it up and down coating the latex object with her own juices.

"Now it?s my turn to play baby." The lustful smile spread over my lover?s face, and I knew I was in for the fucking of my life. I did the only thing I could do under the circum-stances. I simply spread my legs to expose my creamy glistening wet sex. I wanted to be fucked; I needed it so bad.

"Well c?mon then damn you fuck me if you?re gonna. Plunge your big cock deep into my pussy. I want you so bad." Becca didn?t waste time. She positioned herself at my open-ing and thrust forward pushing the entire shaft deep inside me. The thick long cock filled me completely. My lover hesitated for just an instant to allow me to adjust to the size of the loving instrument. Oh how I love this. It just feels so good to be fucked by my wife. She knows just how I like it.

"Sweet Jesus Stace, you feel so good on my cock. I want to watch myself fuck you baby." My strong lover flipped both of us over until I was in an upright position impaled on her cock. "Oh yeah baby, ride me sweetheart. Take it all baby. Look at you. Look at my cock sliding in and out of you. Play with your tits baby. Pinch and pull your nipples baby." I did as I was told, and pulled and twisted my turgid buds while I bounced up and down on my wife?s cock. The phallus slammed all the way home and stroked all my inner surfaces. The fucking seemed to go on and on, and all I could do was moan and groan my pleasure. I was so close, but I wanted this to last. I knew my lover felt the same sensation I was because the other end of our toy was thrust deep into her cunt too. I changed tactics slightly and ground down on our toy in a circular motion.

"Fuck yeah, shit baby damn, I?m cumming. Oh Stace, cum with me." She reached down and began playing with my clit in an effort to hasten my climax. She was successful. The added sensation of her fingers rubbing and pinching my clit was all it took to send me over the edge. I did screaming out her name, rending the still night asunder. I collapsed on top of my wife totally exhausted and sated. My third orgasm in succession rendered me totally helpless. I was wrapped up in my lover?s arms, and felt her stroking my bare back gently soothing me. Oh this was pure bliss. "Babe, c?mon hon, you have to move just a little so I can pull out." It was all I could do to shift slightly so Becca could pull our love toy from my depths. With a sloppy sucking sound the phallus came free, and I moaned lowly because of the empty feeling. My lover disposed of the toy in short order, placing it on the bedside table. She pulled the sheet up over our rapidly cooling bodies; kissed me tenderly as we both drifted off wrapped tightly in Morpheus arms.

"I love you my heart," Becca murmured softly.

"I love you to my soul," I replied.

I entered the bathroom and flipped on the light. Hello gorgeous! Not!! God how can Becca say I?m beautiful in the mornings? My hair is smashed to my head, my eyes are puffy, and there?s a long red wrinkle down the side of my face from the pillow seam. Man all those Hollywood actresses must use good camera angles and take advantage of their make-up artists. No one looks that good in the morning in real life, they can?t. Except my Becca. A shower will help. I brushed my teeth, took my vitamin C tablet, and the One-A-Day Plus Iron. I?ve been taking one-a-day?s ever since I was a kid. They must be doing some good; I?m still here and in one piece, mostly. I turned the shower on as hot as I could stand and leaned against the cool Roman Tiles. I set the showerhead on pulsating massage and let the warm liquid beat down over my head and shoulders. Once the rejuvenating water splashed down on me for a few minutes, I began to feel a little more human. With the liquid soap and wash clothe in hand, I began to cover my body with slow soothing strokes. Ginerly I cleaned my well-used mons. God I could still feel Becca?s mouth licking me and long fingers stroking me inside. Then when she fucked me with our double-ended phallus, I screamed my climax over and over as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me. Man I love being fucked by my wife. She is so fierce, so strong, so dominating. Then in an instant, she becomes so gentle and loving. I love you my angel. Damn I gotta quit this, or I?ll end up right back in bed. The problem with that is what exactly? Get a clue darlin?, I?M SORE!!

I donned my favorite pair of shorts and shirt and headed for the kitchen. I was in dire need of the hot, black elixir that would revive me. I lingered at the bathroom door to gaze at my still sleeping wife. She is so beautiful. A smile graced her lovely lips and a soft murmur escaped her throat.

"Mmm yes?Stace?mmm?feels so?"

Thank God for new technology. These new fangled coffee makers, equipped with timers, had the coffee ready and waiting first thing in the morning. I charged to the counter straining to reach the cups on the top shelf. Damn Becca does this on purpose; she?s been trying to get me to quit drinking coffee at home. If she thinks this will deter me, she?s got another think coming. I poured the black gold into the cup absorbing the wonderful aroma into my senses. The first sip went down easily instantly warming my insides, reviving my half dead carcass. I watched Nip and Tuck crawl through their ?doggie door? for their run down to the beach to do their thing. I met them coming through the living room where they had been hiding, no doubt, in Syd?s bedroom situated on the other end of the house. After Syd had gotten old enough to have friends stay over, she wanted a little more privacy and although she was too polite to say, Becca and I either woke her up or kept her from going to sleep on more than one occasion with our loud lovemaking. We tried to be quiet, but it just wasn?t in the cards, and Syd being the loving accommodating daughter she is simply moved all her belongings to the other end of the house. It was quite an operation. Ange, Kylie, and Beth came over one weekend, along with half the football team, to do the deed. In one morning and half the afternoon, everything Syd owned had been transferred from the room next to ours to the former guestroom. Becca couldn?t help but shed a tear because the room had been Syd?s nursery. This move was a benchmark of sorts, marking the passage of time. Our little girl was growing up, and Becca said as much?

"Stace, our little baby is growing so fast. It won?t be long before she?ll be leaving home altogether." I held my angel close to me in order to soothe her.

"Honey, kids grow up; it?s a fact of life, and it?s how it should be. She?s just ten years old baby. It?ll be a long time before she leaves us."

That move was six years ago; now Syd?s nursery was the guestroom. We put Harley and Angie there whenever they stayed over. After the switch, I felt it was my solemn duty to make sure I kept my angel happy in the love department. After all, Harley had warned me never to hurt her or he?d hurt me. One morning, following a particularly loud all night session, Harley drew me aside for a little chat.

"Um?smart?I mean Stace?I?um?well I was just?oh hell! Dammit, what I?m trying to say is that I?m glad you and Rebecca are happy together. But could you do me a favor?" Whoa jump back! The ?jarine? is asking for a favor? Poor Harley looked like he was going to choke on his tongue.

"Sure Harley whatever I can do for you I will." I was enjoying this way too much. I knew exactly what he had on his mind. Our little performance?and what a performance it was? had been as much for his benefit as it was for ours.

"Well?um?you?uh?you wouldn?t?do ya happen?shit! Y?all got any damn earplugs?" Oh this was too good.

"Yeah I think so, why? You having trouble sleeping Harley?" The big man?s discomfort was so obvious.

"Well you know?the surf?yeah that?s it. The surf?all that pounding?" I patted Harley on the back.

"Of course Harley. I?ll do whatever I can to help you out. And you?re right. The waves were really rolling in last night. Yes sir, wave after wave after wave." Becca and Angie nearly choked on their coffee, and Syd just grunted. Harley, on the other hand turned, a lovely shade of red, and fled the room. When the two women had recovered sufficiently, they both looked at me accusingly.

"Hey what did I do?" Then I looked at Becca directly. "Don?t you give me that look missy. You were in the room with me last night as I recall. And I sure didn?t hear you complaining." Angie chuckled knowingly.

"You sure do know how to?oh what?s that saying?" Angie?s granddaughter helped her out.

"Uh rock a girl?s world grams?" Angie nodded.

"Yes, yes that?s it. Stace you sure do know how to rock a girl?s world. And thanks to you two Becca, your father did a pretty damn good job with mine too." Now it was Becca?s turn to blush.

"Mother, I don?t want to hear this?" Syd and I were enjoying Becca?s discomfort way too much, and I knew there would be hell to pay later.

"Hey mother, what?s the matter, can?t stand the heat? Now you know how I feel when Ange and Kylie give me a hard time about you two." Oh God I was loving this. Becca was now sure our love life was public knowledge all over Malibu Senior High School.

"You?re not serious, you don?t actually?" Syd came to her mother?s rescue.

"No mother, what happens in your bedroom, in this house, stays in this house. But I think it?s kinda neat. At least I know ya love each other, and you don?t fight all the time like a lot of my friends folks do, or worse screw around on each other. And as for you grams, you go girl." Angie smiled knowingly. That Harley was quite a man, no doubt about it. I just hope I can keep Becca satisfied when we?re in our seventies. Don?t worry, from what I hear tell you can?t wear it out, it comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Anyway, the pleasant memory brought a smile to my face as I recalled both the wonderful night of lovemaking and the look on Harley?s face when he realized his then 45-year-old daughter still enjoyed a very active, lively sex life. Nothing?s changed in the last few years either. I finished my coffee and poured another cup. The dogs came romping up the path onto the patio and through their doggie door. I went into the pantry to pour more kibbles in their dishes so they could have their morning meal.

Now that I was more alert, I set about the task of getting the roasts and the chickens ready to put on the barbecue. Guests would be arriving at around 11:00am and we?d be ready to eat by 1:00pm. Both the meat and fowl were huge; I wanted to make sure there was enough for everyone. There would be twelve of us altogether, ten adults and two teenagers, the closest of our friends and family: the Flannery?s, the Evan?s, the Warren?s; of course Harley and Angie Danforth would be here as well. Syd, Becca and I would play hostesses to the most important people in our lives. The roasts and chickens would be barbecued to perfection covered liberally with my secret barbecue sauce. The menu would be rounded out with corn on the cob, baked potatoes, shrimp salad, and Irish?s homemade rolls. Angie promised to bring the desert, but she wouldn?t tell me what she was bringing.

"You just have to wait and see, but don?t worry Stace, it?s one of your favorites." That could be darned near anything. Angie could have been a pastry chef and opened her own bakery, if she would have wanted to; she was that good.

I pulled my famous barbecue sauce out of the fridge where it had been marinating all night. I tasted the flavorful concoction. The spicy flavors made my mouth pucker and water at the same time. I returned the sauce to its place in the fridge and went outside to fire up the barbecues. I set the temperatures at 350 degrees and lit the pilot; the gas grills hissed to life instantly. I took the spits, and skewered the meat and placed them in their respective barbecues and set them to cook. Nip and Tuck sat there with drool streaming from their mouths. They licked their chops in anticipation, but to no avail.

"Not in this lifetime boys. If you go anywhere near these barbecues, you will lose your happy home, got it?" The two large canines whimpered and lay down at my feet. "Sorry guys, but that?s just the way it has to be."

Well that?s all goin?. Let?s see about getting Becca some breakfast in bed. Ummm, 8:00am, it won?t be too long until lunch, so something light I think: fruit, croissants, a little cream cheese, juice, and tea. Sounds good to me. I arranged the fruit in a serving bowl, the croissants and cheese on a plate, poured the juice and tea in their respective drinking containers, put everything on a tray, and headed to the bedroom. On the way, I met a very disheveled sixteen-year-old coming through the living room.

"Morning pumpkin. What gets you out this early?" Syd grumbled something about smelling hot coffee. "It?s in the kitchen. Help yourself." Syd nodded slightly.

"Whatcha got there?" she asked as she snagged a strawberry.

"Hey get your mitts off, this is you?re mother?s breakfast. If you want some, go get your own. That too is in the kitchen. I fixed yours already; it?s on the table. Now march!" Wow you?re turning into a regular ?Hanna Homemaker?, I?m impressed. Hey I have my moments, so back off.

Syd grumbled something else unintelligible about only one crummy strawberry, and disappeared into the kitchen. I shook my head and continued on to the bedroom. My angel was still sound asleep, but had shifted her position to lay on her stomach. The sheets had slipped down to expose her beautiful back. One leg was partially uncovered displaying a tantalizing length of muscular thigh. Long raven locks lay spread out over the pillow, and down over the side of my wife?s gorgeous face. A tiny smile graced her lips; her face bore peaceful and contented expression. God I hated to disturb her, but I knew she needed to get up and moving because she would want to take at least a two-hour soak in the jacuzzi. That was just one of her hedonistic needs she indulged frequently. It was one I often participated in gladly. Except during those baths, very little bathing or soaking actually took place. Those sessions were usually preludes to a long day or night or day and night lovemaking sessions. Now lest you think that is all we do,?you?d be just about right?you?d be wrong. There is far more to our relationship than just sex. We do lots of things together that don?t require a bed: probably we spend the most time with activities that revolve around Syd and sports. The kid is gonna make it to college on an athletic scholarship either in soccer or softball, maybe both. She?s really good in volleyball, but her lack of height might preclude a scholarship. Still with her leaping ability, and just plain all out tenacity, I?d not bet against her. Any way, I digress. Time to wake up sleeping beauty.

I set the tray down on the nightstand, and sat down on the edge of the bed. I brushed back the inky black tresses to expose a delicious expanse of neck and shoulder. I placed sweet, tender butterfly kisses on the muscular shoulder and nuzzled my lover?s neck. A slight murmur and shift in body position alerted me to that fact that my baby was entering the realm of consciousness. Oh she smelled so good. The scent of our lovemaking was still on her skin, and I was sorely tempted to climb up on top of my lover and take care of the need that was rapidly growing in my groin. It didn?t help when a sleepy contralto sexy voice encouraged my actions.

"Mmm, that feels nice. A little more to the right please." That took me to the soft skin just below Becca?s ear, a favorite erogenous zone on my lover. I drew my tongue in teasing little circles all around the area, and then took a soft lobe into my mouth with gentle sucking motions. I knew I had to stop this, but Becca was so responsive to my ministrations, I continued. I circled the ear, of the now thoroughly aroused woman, with my tongue. "Oh yeah baby, mmm I love waking up this way." I climbed up onto the bed, straddled my lover?s ass, and then moved my hand down and under her until I reached her delicious creamy sex. Gods she was so wet. Oh what the hell. I disposed of my shorts and whispered in my baby?s ear.

"Mmm, you?re so wet baby, I?m gonna take you now. Would you like a good morning fuck? Hmmm?" My lover?s groan was the only answer forthcoming, but I took it as a yes, and dipped my fingers deep inside. I began dragging my drenched sex up and down my lover?s sexy firm ass, making sure I had firm flesh on flesh contact on my clit. I set-up a slow rhythm meant to slowly draw out our mutual pleasure. But my angel wanted none of that. She reached down with her hand to guide my own.

"Faster baby, I want it hard and fast." Who am I to deny my lover anything? I picked up the pace, stroking my lover?s cunt with my fingers and my sex humping her ass, bringing my lover and I to a quick, but forceful climax. My angel?s body thrust and hunched with the force of my fingers, and then all was still.

"Oh yeah! Stace I love you so much. Now that?s the way to wake up in the morning!" What was it you said about your relationship not be just about sex? You two are worse than a couple of weasels. Get lost! I raised myself slightly so my angel could turn over. I lowered my lips to hers for a good morning kiss.

"I agree, that is a nice way to wake up. And as much as I would like to stay the day in bed, we are going to have guests arriving soon, so you?re gonna have to get a move on. Besides, I?ve got breakfast for us. So let?s eat, but first, one thing. You have to promise me we?ll eat the food, and not use it as sex toys, okay?" Becca was thinking over her options.

"Do I have to?" She pouted. I nodded.

"Yep, that?s the deal." Becca let out a long sigh.

"Ooohhh, all right. But this will be very difficult for me y?know. You sexy thing you. We just barely got the edge off." I kissed the end of my wife?s nose.

"Well that will have to do for now," I warned.

Breakfast was finished without further incident, although when my angel exposed her mouth-watering naked body on the way to the bathroom, and invited me to join her there, I was sorely tempted to say the least. But one of us had to be strong. Why? I knew Becca would be in the tub for some time, so I decided I?d better check on the barbecuing meat. Then I?d take a run down on the beach. Grab another quick shower, and I?d be ready for the gang when they arrived. I pulled my shorts back on but took off my shirt and grabbed a sports bra. I stopped to look at myself in the mirror. Gravity! But at forty-nine, I still had perky firm breasts, and could get by without wearing a bra, luckily. I hated the damn things, but during a run, a bra was a ne-cessity. I guess staying in shape does have its rewards. Believe me I?m not the kind of person who is hung up on my looks, by any stretch of the imagination. As long as I was still desirable to my angel that?s all I?m worried about. Now having said that, I better get my lazy butt down to the beach. I?ll take the dogs, maybe even the kid. Of course you run the risk of having her run you into the ground. Ha! That?ll be the day, I hope. Once I emerged onto the patio, I found Syd sitting in the lounge chair munching on a bowl of strawberries and reading the morning paper. Nip and Tuck were still guarding the barbecues holding out the last bit of hope they might get a little tidbit.

"Hi babe, anything new in the papers?" I asked as I kissed the top of Syd?s head.

"No same old same old. Gore and Bush are still taking potshots at each other. They still don?t know who bombed that ship, and Ray Carruthers is still claiming he had nothing to do with murdering his girlfriend." God now I?m depressed.

"Great world ain?t it. Did you check the meat?" Syd looked at me like I had taken leave of my senses.

"Mom, are you nuts. I?d never touch your precious barbecue, on pain of death!" Cocky little shit ain?t she?

"Yeah well, don?t get smart, or I?ll have to whoop your butt. You?re probably right, I could get a little ticked if you touch my stuff." Syd?s face suddenly turned ashen. "What?s the matter?"

"I?ll be damned. Look at this." Syd showed me a small article buried in the corner of the crime?s section in the paper. The small headline read:

"Huh, Faraday?s dead." The article went on to say Arlan Faraday had died of colon cancer while in prison serving a life sentence for conspiracy to commit murder. Well that?s one person not too many, if any, people will cry over.

"I wonder if Lil knows?" Syd remarked. That?s a good question. "Are you gonna call her? If she doesn?t know, it might be better coming from someone she knows." Faraday was Lilli Faraday?s stepfather, who had killed Lil?s older sister at the age of fifteen months. It was my testimony, as the attending physician, that had helped to convict him of repeated child abuse and murder. Lilli had come to be a valued member of the staff at the trauma center and a good friend.

"Yeah hon, you?re right. I?ll give her a call. No wait, maybe I?ll go down to the center and tell her. She?s on duty this weekend. She shouldn?t here this over the phone." I thought for a minute until Syd interrupted me.

"How do you think she?ll take the news mom?" Becca came out from inside the house.

"What news?" The looks on our faces told Becca whatever the news was, it wasn?t good. "Stace what?s happened? Mom and Dad?." I shook my head quickly.

"No baby, there?s nothing wrong with our family or friends, well not totally. Syd show her the story." Syd handed her mother the paper and directed her eyes to the small article.

"Oh honey, I guess it?s finally over isn?t it? Wait, Lilli. That?s what?s bothering you, isn?t it? Are you going to tell her?" I nodded my head slowly.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I was just going to go to the center to talk to Lil when you came out." Becca wrapped me in her arms, and kissed the top of my head.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Not a bad idea, sensitive chats aren?t exactly your expertise. Might be a good idea to have a little back-up.

"Would you mind? Lil could probably use the extra support. I have no idea how she will react. There certainly was no love loss between the two of them." Even so.

"That?s true, but his death will more than likely bring up some old painful memories Stace. I?m sure that won?t be pleasant for her." Tell me about it. Old painful memories do still hurt.

"Well let?s go. Syd, hon would you stay and keep those mutts away from the barbe-

cues. I checked the roasts and chickens, and just basted them. They?ll be okay until we get back. When the gang arrives, tell them where we went and will be back shortly. Thanks babe." I kissed my kid and with one parting warning look directed at the dogs, departed.

We arrived at the ER entrance to the Casey Faraday Trauma Center. God it doesn?t seem like it?s been over twenty years that we?ve been in operation. I must admit that I have a lot to be proud of. Over the years, this trauma center and hospice, with its excellent hard working staff had saved many lives, and helped many people. It was my hope that this center would be more than just a hospital, but a place where damaged bodies and spirits might begin to heal; it was a refuge of sorts. That much anyway had been successful, in many cases, too successful. There never seemed to be an end to the broken little bodies who found their way to these doors. I suppose the only consolation was that there was a place for them to come, a safe place to stay where they couldn?t be hurt anymore, at least for a while. Becca?s sweet voice brought me to the present.

"Stace, love, are you okay?" I smiled lovingly at the one person who had been with me all the way, throughout all the good and the bad. I touched her face, and cupped her cheek with the palm of my hand. She leaned into the caress, then turned her head to kiss the palm delicately.

"As long as you?re with me I?m fine. I was just thinking how long it?s been since we opened the center and how many people have passed through these doors and touched our lives. I wish, from the bottom of my heart, there were no need for trauma centers that deal with abused little children. It seems we never run out of hurting little bodies and minds to try to heal." My lover leaned over the console and kissed me passionately.

"I?m very glad, for all those people who need it, that you are here for them. I?m very, very proud of you my love." My angel kissed me again, conveying all the emotion she was feeling with that one sweet loving gesture.

"You always know just what to say to make me feel better. Let?s go talk to Lil, and see what we can do to help." We climbed out of the SUV and walked into the ER unit. Lilli was talking to one of the male orderlies, letting him know, in no uncertain terms, what his re-sponsibilities were. She was about to unload some more on the hapless young man when Becca and I entered the room. I looked at both of my staff members, noticing the guilty look on the orderly?s face.

"I don?t know what happened here, but from the look on your face, I?d say you were a very lucky young man that it?s Dr. Faraday you?re facing and not me. Were you finished with the young man doctor?" Lilli nodded her head. "Good, then you are dismissed." The young man fled immediately deciding anywhere else would be a good place to be than where he was. "That was Don Hadley wasn?t it?" Again Lil simply nodded. "Uh huh, he?s usually one of the better orderlies in the unit, he must have really pulled a boner to have gotten a dressing down like that. Ya wanna talk about it?" Lilli sighed and then walked over to one of the rolling stools and sat down heavily.

"Dr. McGregor, I made a mistake and I took it out on Don, he really didn?t do any- thing wrong. I lost control of my emotions; I was very unprofessional." Been there done that.

"Why don?t you tell me what happened." I heard a throat clear behind me and looked to see Becca standing near the door. "Do you mind if Rebecca stays?" I don?t think Lil even knew she was here.

"No of course not, I think right now I could use all the help I can get. Um?I?oh?I have you read the papers this morning?" Bec and I both nodded. "Then you know Arlan died in prison. There wasn?t anybody around when he died; he was all a lone. I came into the staff lounge and heard Don and some of the others talking about him. About how he deserved what he got, and he should have suffered a lot more for what he did." Oh good Lord don?t tell me she?s feeling guilty about that son of a bitch. Oh butt out! Hadley?s right, he deserved what he got and a lot more. You of all people should?oh shit. Yeah buy a clue would ya. I know there is somewhere else I need to be right now. Then by all means go there.

"You don?t have to say anything else. I think I can guess what?s going on here. You hate your stepfather for what he did, but at the same time you?re feeling guilty because he died of cancer all a lone in that prison. You heard Don and the rest of the staff talking; bad- mouthing Faraday for what he did and you exploded on the first person you happened to see. You agree with them, but at the same time you?re sorry he died a lone. Am I anywhere close here?" Tears that were threatening to fall did so, the shame and anger apparent in the dark brown eyes.

"Dr. Mc Gregor I feel so ashamed that he was my stepfather that I had anything to do with him at all. The pain he caused you and your family, I?m so sorry. You must hate me." Lilli buried her face in her hands and wept uncontrollably. I drew the young woman into my arms and held her tightly, whispering in her ear trying to console her.

"Listen to me Lil, I know exactly how you feel, but I, we, none of us hate you. In fact, it?s just the opposite. All of us love you very much. Hon, my father died in prison too. He also had cancer. It was years before I stopped feeling guilty about not going to see him. Since I was a doctor, the parole board wanted to put him in my custody; they would allow me to put him in a hospice, or bring him home until he died. I refused." I heard a sharp intake of breath near my shoulder. Even Becca didn?t know the complete truth about the circumstances surrounding my ol? man?s death. "I think my exact words were, ??let the bastard die right where he is; that?s exactly where he deserves to be. As far as I?m con- cerned, I don?t have a father; I never did.? He died a couple of days later. I wouldn?t pay for the final arrangements either. His body was cremated and he?s buried in a pauper?s cemetery in East LA. So ya see, you?re not the only one who carries excess baggage around, but we shouldn?t. Ya see Lilli, the difference between people like you and me, and people like our fathers is that we have a conscious, they don?t. We have to live with the guilt and pain they cause because they don?t give a damn. They simply don?t care. We?re the victims, yet we?re the ones whom act like we?re the criminals, that we did something wrong. It took a long time for me to realize the truth. But it?s really simple: we didn?t do one damn thing wrong, we?re not guilty of anything; we are not to blame. Once I figured that out, with a lot of help?I glanced lovingly at my angel?I was able to get on with my life. Lilli, don?t waste all the years I did grieving over someone who doesn?t deserve your tears. Forget about him and get on with your life. Your family needs you and your strength, not him." Hey for not being good at sensitive chats, you?ve done a pretty damn good job with this one. I thought you had to be somewhere else. Yeah well, I decided to come back and help ya out??cept ya did fine without me. Well since you?re here, ya might as well stick around; I may need to chew on something later. Lilli dried her eyes, and sat up a little straighter.

"Thank you Dr. McGregor. What you said just now, I?m sure it wasn?t easy for you. Thank you. You?re right, I do need to go on for mamma and Ty. I?ll try. Now I should go talk to Dan and apologize huh?" I nodded.

"Uh yeah, that would be a good idea, but don?t let him off too easy. He shouldn?t have been talking about things that involve other staff members. It really wasn?t any of his business. Maybe I should put out a memo to that effect to all the staff just as a reminder. Yeah I think I will." Whatever will Irish and Rachel talk about now? Heh heh, they?ll just have to figure something else out won?t they? You?re an evil woman Dr. McGregor, evil to the core. Yeah ain?t I though. "Hey Dr. Faraday, if you ever need to talk, just give us a call, ?kay?" A small smile graced the young doctor?s face.

"Yes, I will and thanks again, Mac." Well now, time to pay the piper and face my angel.

"Uh Becca I didn?t mean to lie?I?" Gentle fingers touched my lips effectively silencing my attempted apology.

"You don?t have to say a thing. You did what you had to do. Under the circumstances, I?m not sure I would have done anything differently. I do wish you would have told me; I could have helped you over the rough times. But I understand why you didn?t. You wanted to protect Syd and me from feeling any guilt too. Now let?s go home, we?ve got company already there I?ll bet." I glanced at my watch: 11:30am.

"You?re right. Becca, thank you. Promise me something?"

"Of course, anything my love."

"Don?t ever leave me, I love you so much."

"Oh Stace, never my love. We?ll be together for all eternity. I really believe that."

"Hey c?mon Aunt Rachel and Aunt Irish, this is supposed to be a party. Frankly I don?t care how long the rolls are supposed to raise." To prove her point, she grabbed one of the light fluffy goodies and took a big bite. "Mmmm, delicious. So why argue?" Again, remind me who the adults are in this family? They?re the old grumpy ones, I think. I snagged three Coronas from the cooler and walked over to the two grousing females. I handed each one a brew and welcomed them to my home, belatedly.

"I see you two are at it already. Here have a beer and lighten up. Syd?s right. The point is they?re the best rolls I?ve ever tasted. Just let it go at that and let?s have some fun." My two best friends smiled grudgingly and took my offering.

"Yeah I guess. Hey by the way, how?s Lil? She take the news hard?" I shook my head.

"Not as hard as Dan Hadley. She overheard him talking out of turn about Faraday and how he should have rotted in prison anyway." Iris and Rachel look confused.

"So, if you took a poll, most people would agree with that idea." Rachel said.

"That?s not the point. Staff members have no business gossiping about other staff member?s private lives while on duty. Lil let Don have it in no uncertain terms. And I agreed with her. In fact I?m putting out a memo reiterating that fact first thing Monday morning." Irish spewed the mouthful of beer she just took all over Rachel.

"You?re gonna what?" Rachel was cleaning the beer off her arm with a napkin.

"Yeah what the hell?" I was really enjoying the looks of indignation on my two director?s faces.

"You heard me, and as Pediatric and Nursing Services Directors it will be your jobs to see to it that your people adhere to the memo to the letter. Got it?" With that I walked away leaving the two pissed off women to their own devices. Becca followed the conversa- tion, from afar, with rapt fascination.

"That went well," she said, as I neared the hot tub where she had joined Harley and Angie in a good soak.

"Coulda been a lot worse. Scoot over Harley, I?m coming in." Harley didn?t budge.

"Oh no you don?t, not until you bring me one of those beers." Damn who the hell was your servant this time last year? Hey you?re the hostess remember. Bull he?s my father-in-law. Yeah and?oh okay.

"Here take this." He looked at me a little funny. "Oh don?t worry, I didn?t drink out of it yet. Besides even if I did, you wouldn?t catch anything." Becca held out her hand.

"Give it to me baby." My angel took a big swallow of the Corona. "See? Really dad, Stace is quite clean actually. Pretty healthy too." A dark eyebrow arched sharply and disap- peared beneath raven bangs. I shook my head, grunted, and started off.

"Would you like anything Angie?" She thought for a minute.

"Yes a Pina Colada Wine Cooler would be nice. Thank you Stace." A really nice, polite lady.

"Sure thing Angie, comin? right up." I turned toward Harley and smirked blatantly at him. I returned shortly with a wine cooler and two Coronas in hand. "Here ya go Angie. Harley." Harley grunted in thanks, while Angie really laid it on thick just to get Harley?s goat.

"Why thank you Stacey dear. My this really hits the spot, doesn?t it dear?" Angie cooed as she touched Harley?s big, burley arm.

"Yeah, nice. Thanks smartass." A foot connected with Harley?s shin from under the water. "Ow why?d ya kick me Rebecca." Becca frowned at her father,

"Dad, you know I don?t like you calling Stace smartass. It doesn?t set a good example for Sydnee René. It makes Stace appear less in Syd?s eyes." Ha, ha ?jarine?, you?re little jab backfired didn?t it? You couldn?t make smartass look less in Syd?s eyes even if she robbed a back. But good goin? anyway, Bec. I couldn?t resist my own little jab, even though it would be the hospitable thing to do, Harley wouldn?t see it that way.

"Are you and Angie staying over tonight Harley? Y?know you?re more than welcome." For the second time today, beer went spraying through the air. Becca couldn?t hide the smirk. Angie just plain chuckled out loud. I merely grinned. C?mon ?jarine? the gauntlet has been cast down, whatcha gonna do?

"Uh?well?I?ll tell ya, we?d be pleased to stay." What the hell? Where did that come from? "Angie is gonna have some tests at UCLA Med. Center tomorrow, and if we stay, it?ll save us a trip back and forth. Thanks for asking sm?Stace." Tests? What tests?

"Tests? Mother what sort of tests are you having? Why didn?t you say something sooner? Is something wrong? And why aren?t?" The rapid-fire questions Becca reeled off threw her mom off balance a bit and Harley jumped to the rescue as always. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he was our pain in the ass, and there was no one else I?d rather have in my corner, when the chips were down, than Harley.

"Rebecca Marie McGregor, you just cool your jets, and let your mother explain." Becca instantly quieted and let her mother speak.

"Sweetheart, Stace, they?re just some routine tests. Dr. Anderson wants me to see a specialist who deals with older people, something about osteoporosis. I?m not getting any younger, and my bones aren?t as strong as they used to be. While I?m there, they?re going to do a stress test. I?ve been a little short of breath lately, nothing serious, but we decided it would be a good idea to get checked over thoroughly. Stacey you?re a doctor, surely you know the value of preventative medicine?" Everything Angie said made sense, but I wasn?t very objective where Angie was concerned. She was the mother I never had. The thought of her impending mortality was not something I wanted to even consider. But for my angel?s sake I had to.

"Of course Angie. At your age, there are all kinds of things you can do with diet and exercise to decrease the affects of aging, but you have to know what you?re dealing with. Diagnostic tests are a good way to find out for sure." To me what I said sounded logical and reasonable, to Becca they sounded cold and clinical.

"Affects of aging, diagnostic tests! Jesus Christ Stacey, this is my mother were talking about, not some stranger off the street! How can you be so cold?" My angel flew out of the tub and disappeared inside the house. Shit, what did I do now?

"Becca, honey wait a minute." I started to go after my distraught wife, but a gentle arm stopped me.

"Let her go Stacey. I?ll go talk to her. Don?t worry, it?ll be okay." Angie got up from her place in the hot tub and followed Becca into the house, leaving a very stunned husband and daughter-in-law in their wake.

"What the hell just happened here? What?d I say?" Harley climbed out of the tub. He handed me a towel and motioned me to sit down in the chair next to his which I did.

"Here have another drink and I?ll tell ya." This should be good, a ?jarine? doing sensi- tive chats. "You didn?t do anything. Time did, and Rebecca doesn?t want to face it. But we have to, all of us. In Angelic?s case, a little sooner than we wanted. It?s her heart Mac. The doctor says it?s just plain worn out." Her heart, dammit she isn?t that old.

"Harley what the hell are you talking about? Angie isn?t that old. She can?t be having heart failure. Shit she?s in excellent health for a woman her age. Damn seventy years old isn?t that old. She?" Harley held up his hand to stop my raving.

"Mac I know what you?re trying to do, but it won?t change anything. My Angelic is dying." No, dammit, no she can?t, I won?t allow it!

"Harley what are you saying? You?re just gonna sit there and tell me she?s dying and then do nothing about it? Well it ain?t gonna happen, not if I can help it. We?ll get a specialist, a heart transplant. There are options; this doesn?t have to happen. Harley we can?t let her die." I fell into the big man?s arms, the tears coming unbidden. Damn you God you?re doing it again. Why the hell are you taking the good people and leaving the scum to run amuck. Please don?t take her away from us.

"I know baby, it hurts like hell. Angie and I have been over this and over this. I don?t want to let her go any more than you do. But it?s what Angie wants that counts." I was shocked.

"You?re not trying to tell me she wants to die?" I wouldn?t even consider that could even be a possibility.

"Sweetheart no of course she doesn?t want to die, but she doesn?t want to be tied up to machines or go through useless operations either. If it?s God?s will, then so be it. She wants to live the time she has left in peace with her family. She?s a strong woman Stace, she ain?t feeling sorry for herself, so neither should we." I knew what Harley said made sense. I said the same things countless times to my patient?s families when things didn?t go well with their recovery. But this was my family, and somehow the words were cold and empty to my ears. Just as I was about to go with another bout of self-pity, Angie appeared a lone on the patio. I got up and walked over to her cupping her face with the palm of my hand. The older woman smiled sweetly and took my hand and kissed it affectionately, then opened her arms to me. I fell into her warm embrace, and let my grief overwhelm me.

"Oh Angie," I cried, "please don?t die, don?t leave us. We need you here. God don?t give up, fight to stay with us." I sobbed uncontrollably, for whom I wasn?t sure: for Becca, for Angie, for Harley, for me, for all of us, for Syd. Oh my God Syd. "Angie I?ve got to tell Syd, she..." Angie stopped me.

"Darling you go to your angel, she needs you right now, and you need her too. Harley and I will talk to Syd. I?m afraid we?ve ruined your party, I?m so sorry." Party, to hell with the party, they?ll understand. You?re the important one right now.

"Don?t worry about them, they?ll understand. I?ll go talk to Becca. Dammit Angie, know this: I?m not gonna let you go with out a fight. Do you hear me?" Angie simply smiled and nodded then tipped my head down to her and kissed my forehead.

"I know child, now go to your angel." I kissed Angie?s cheek and walked into the house. I entered the house and went from room to room until I found Becca in her studio sitting in front of a portrait of her parents on which she was completing the final touches. I wrapped my arms around my angel from behind and kissed the top of her head, then I laid my cheek on top of the raven locks. Neither of us spoke for some time, but both stared at the picture in front of us.

"Why Stace?" The voice was so low and fragile I almost didn?t hear it.

"I don?t know baby, I wish I did. But honey this isn?t over yet, there are all knids of things we can do. We won?t give up." My angel just shook her head.

"But my mamma doesn?t want those things, " Becca replied in an almost childlike voice. "She?s resigned to the fact that she?s gonna die. Why? Did I do something wrong? Why does she want to leave us?" Seeing my baby like this simply broke my heart.

"My heart you did nothing wrong, and your mother doesn?t want to leave us. She just figures it?s her time. But you listen; she loves you and doesn?t want to leave you or any of us. We have to respect her wishes, she should have some say in how she?in the way?" God I couldn?t say the words, so my baby did.

"The way she dies? Is my mamma going to die Stace?" Oh damn how could I say this to the one person in the world I promised I would ever say or do anything ever again to hurt.

"Oh angel?how can?baby?I?m so sorry? Yes baby, your mamma?s going to die." That was it, the floodgates opened and neither of us could remain upright. We both sunk to the floor wrapped in each other?s arms trying to keep the agony at bay, but to no avail. The party was forgotten, as were our friends, even our daughter was the furthest thing from our minds. There was only the two of us on the studio floor, the pain tearing at us trying to drive us apart. But the only solid thing we had to cling to was each other, and we held to each other in a death grip. I knew at some point I would have to return to the stoic, strong un-flinching being I was during my abusive childhood. I would have to be the figure of strength for my angel and my baby girl, but right now I didn?t feel strong. I couldn?t be the stoic uncaring person I had been all those years ago. All I felt now was grief, pain, so I let the tears fall unbidden. I held my angel and cried with her, cried not for the mother I lost years ago, the one I never knew, but this mother. The one who had given me everything a mother could: her daughter, my angel.