*The goddess Sarah McLachlan's beautiful ballad "Full of Grace" was somewhat harmed during the production of this fan fiction. My profuse apologies to milady// this is also subtext friendly so be forewarned*

     It was a slow gradual realization that took over Xena as she came to face the knowledge of the depth of her feelings for Gabrielle. It reached its pinnacle of clarity the night that Gabrielle had spoken, although somewhat odd handly, going to study in Athens for some time. Suddenly, at he thought of her Gabrielle leaving her, Xena's whole life seemed to shatter into nothingness, void of the purpose and meaning that would get her up every morning and allow her to sleep at night.      Sleep had become an distant stranger again that night, as she stood, bathed in the light of the full moon, at the large window. She had stood there for a good candlemark now, refusing to turn to look at Gabrielle's sleeping form in the bed a few yards away from her. The longer she stood there the more and more she realized how deep her feelings and attachment to the bard were. Finally as tears began to course down her cheeks unchecked, she turned to Gabrielle and walked over to the bed. She sat down slowly beside her, taking her hand in hers and lightly stroking the strawberry blond hair that spread its self across the bed. A song that she had been thinking of for almost a moon now, a song for about Gabrielle but never for Gabrielle's ears to hear, suddenly fell into place. She began to sing it softly into her unhearing ear.

The winter here's cold and bitter
It chills us to the bone
Haven't seen the sun for weeks
Too long too far from home

She paused for a moment at the realization that she had taken Gabrielle so far from her family and homeland. She stopped herself, looking at what had happened to her, so worried about another, so consumed with a love for them. The next words rolled off her tongue with the ease of a well practiced mantra.

I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
In all this darkness I felt like letting go

Gabrielle had saved her from her own shadow, brought her from the evil and into the light, a place where she still felt she had no right to be. She smiled ever so slightly as she stroked the young woman's cheek and sang slightly louder and with extreme pride and love.

With all of the strength and all of the courage
You came and lifted me from this place
I know I can love you better than this
So full of grace, full of grace, my love.

Her Gabrielle was so full of grace, with the purest heart she had every beared witness to in one person. It was such a direct contradiction to the dark side that had once ruled Xena, and at times still reared its ugly head.

It's better this way, I say
Haven't seen this place before
And everything we say and do
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stay too long
in the same old sickly skin

And Xena knew she was well on her way to old and sickly. She was a tired old ex- warlord who refused to give up her old habits, her old ways. Gabrielle needed stability and a proper home. Xena sighed trying her hardest to accept that she would lose her tacquin soon and sung again, lightly stroking her cheek and snuggling up beside her as she did.

I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
In all this darkness I felt like letting go
With all of the strength and all of the courage
You came and lifted me from this place
I know I can love you much better than this
So full of grace

She sighed and sang softly in a tear choked whisper

I know I can love you much better than this
. . . but its better this way