Disclaimers: Xena, Gabrielle and Argo belong to MCA/Universal Studios and Renaissance Pictures. As a fan, I'm just borrowing them to write this story. No copyright violation is intended here.
Note 1: There's no subtext here. If you find it, it's just your imagination.
Note 2: Feedback is welcomed; tell me what you think of this fanfic. And, since I'm from Brazil and English is not my native language, feel free to send me any comments on grammar, as well.
"Oh, no. Not again!" Said Gabrielle to herself.
Xena was sitting under a tree, with a something-is-going-on face, and Gabrielle was becoming very worried. It was the third time that week that Xena was acting strange, like she was sad or like she was suffering from something she didn't want to tell the bard.
"Xena!" Called Gabrielle with a threatening look. "What's going on with you?"
"What?! Nothing is going on, Gabrielle. I'm fine."
"Fine? You're everything but fine. Xena, something IS happening with you, you spend hours sitting under a tree or near the lake, or some place else, alone, with this look you have right now, you don't take care of Argo or me, you don't even practice your fighting drills. And, now, you say nothing is going on? Please, Xena, you know you can talk to me. Don't you trust me?" At this point, Gabrielle is almost crying.
"Oh, no, Gabrielle. Please, don't worry about me. I know we can talk, and of course I trust you, you're my best friend, you're my family, you know that. After so many things we've been through, don't you dare say I don't trust you."
"Then, tell me what's happening."
"Gabrielle, I said it before, nothing is happening. I'm just...thinking, or, maybe, I'm tired, that's all."
"Are you sure?"
"Yep! Pretty sure. Don't worry!" Replied Xena, a smile on her face.
Late that night, Gabrielle was already sleeping when Xena rose and went to take a look at Argo.
"Damn it!" She said to the horse, "Why is it so difficult? It's been almost four days and I still don't have her birthday gift. What if...what if I can't get it till next week? Oh, no, I want to give something really special to Gabrielle." At this point, Xena was sitting next to the campfire, her head on her hands, her voice a little bit disturbed, tears beginning to appear. "I had no idea of how hard it was... Hey, Warrior, don't be such a coward!" Xena said to herself, as she rose and went back to her bed roll. "Maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow."
The following day, Gabrielle woke up with the heat of the sun touching her face.
"Hmm...What time is it? Xena? I can't believe she let me sleep till now. She usually wants us to leave first thing in the morning." Gabrielle stood up and her eyes began searching for her friend. She wasn't there. The bard came to Argo and asked the mare: "Where is she?" Argo whined and Gabrielle smiled to herself. "You have no idea! Don't you hate when she does that?"
After having breakfast, Gabrielle went to the lake and, for her surprise, Xena was there, alone, staring at the water and throwing little rocks at it now and then.
"Xena" She hadn't listened to Gabrielle's approach. "Are you okay?" The bard's voice showed she was worried.
"Hey, Gabby, good morning!" Xena said, trying to show happiness.
"Xena, it's almost afternoon. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Well, I thought you'd like to sleep a little bit more."
"No, you didn't. You forgot it." Xena opened her mouth to say something, but Gabrielle interrupted her. "You forgot to wake me up because you were here all the time, thinking about something you don't want to tell me, right?"
"Gabrielle, I was just having a good time. Come on, join me. Let's smell the flowers as you always say." Xena laughed at this thought.
The bard sat next to her friend. However, she wasn't convinced yet.
"Gabrielle", Xena started, "is there something YOU want to tell me? I mean, you seem to be worried about something and, also, you keep asking me if I'm okay. I'm beginning to think YOU are not okay."
"Oh, Xena, Xena, Xena. You really think I'm this dumb? I know what you're trying to do, but this time you'll fail."
"I'm sorry, I forgot you were Miss Smart." Said Xena, although she knew Gabrielle was right.
"Xena, I'm trying to be serious here." Gabrielle was starting to feel angry at her friend's jokes.
"Sorry, Gabby." This time Xena was serious. "I know you're worried, but you don't need to. And, it's the last time I'm gonna say it: I'm all right."
"Okay, then. I'll pack our things up." Muttered the bard.
As Gabrielle left, Xena felt guilty for hurting her friend, even it being unintentional.
"Sorry, Gabrielle", Xena whispered to herself, "I didn't want to hurt you, but how could I know it was so difficult?" Tears began to flow.
Gabrielle was packing up their things. "Argo, do you think I'm exaggerating? Well, maybe I am. But, she's been so strange lately...Perhaps it's just the moon." The blonde laughed. "Damn it! I guess I should apologize to her."
As the bard came to the lake, Xena was... "Crying? By the Gods, I knew something was wrong." Gabrielle ran to her friend. "Xena, oh, Xena. What's going on? Why don't you tell me?"
Gabrielle pulled Xena close to her. The warrior wanted to leave her friend's embrace, but she couldn't, she just had not the strength to do it.
"Sh, sh. That's okay, Xena, just cry. It'll be good for you and you know it. Just don't worry, I'm here."
They stayed like this for a long time. Xena was so tired, mentally and physically tired, that she slept on Gabrielle's embrace.
When she woke, Gabrielle was still hugging her. The warrior spent some more time in this position, pretending she was asleep. Her eyes were staring at the ground when the bard said:
"I know you're awake."
Xena turned her head just to meet her friend's eyes. "Gab..."
"Xena. Please, let me speak. I know something is bothering you, and I'm pretty sure it's serious or you wouldn't have cried like you that. Now, I've asked you many times, and I won't ask you again. I'm gonna wait until you are ready to talk to me. I promise you."
"Thank you, Gabrielle. I'm not ready, at least not yet. But, maybe in a few days I'll be able to talk to you. Just be patient, will you?", Xena said, still tired and disturbed.
"Alright, then. Just..." Gabrielle hesitated for a moment, "don't be proud to ask for help, right?" The bard's hands met Xena's.
"Gabrielle" There was a brief pause. Xena's voice was trembling. "Thanks for comforting me. I'm much better now. Thank you." Xena lowered her head.
Gabrielle, turning her friend's face to meet hers, said: "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Xena. Everybody needs to cry, it's a human necessity."
Xena was so happy to have a friend like Gabrielle, that she became more worried about giving a special gift to her. But, anyway, now she wanted it even more.
After a few days, Xena was finally ready to talk to the bard.
It was night, and the two friends had already eaten. Gabrielle was working on a new scroll when Xena came and sat in front of her.
"It's time." Xena's voice was firm.
Gabrielle stopped writing, looked at the warrior and, knowing it was difficult for Xena to start a conversation like that, just asked: "Are you sure?"
Xena nodded. After some minutes, she broke the silence. "First of all, I'm sorry for my stupid behavior, I know it hurt you. And, I trust you, I really do, but I was going through something very difficult, very hard, and I just couldn't tell you anything. Actually, I never thought it would be so... painful." The warrior began remembering the last few days she kept working on Gabrielle's birthday gift.
"But, what was that anyway? What was so hard, so painful, that made you cry like that?" The bard still couldn't understand it.
"It was...Well...You. It was you." Xena replied, a smile appearing on her face.
"Me?" Gabrielle was really confused. "What have I done to you? I'm so sorry if I made you angry or if I hurt you. I don't..."
"Gabrielle!" Xena interrupted this self-punishment of the bard. "You did nothing wrong, and you didn't hurt me at all. It's just that I...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Said Xena, handing Gabrielle her gift, now a huge smile- and also tears- on the warrior's face.
"Oh, Xena." the bard was almost speechless, still shocked and surprised. She had been so worried about Xena, that she had even forgotten her own birthday. "I don't know what to say...Thanks...Thank you." Gabrielle started unwrapping the parcel.
"Hey, Gabby, it was very difficult to...I'm pretty sure it's not very good; actually, it's probably terrible. So, if you don't like it, just say it, you don't need to worry about my feelings..."
"It's a... scroll. Xena, you wrote a poem...for me."
The warrior seemed shy, she was blushing, Xena was blushing, and she was keeping her eyes away from the bard's.
"Xena, look at me." Gabrielle said in a soft voice. "Please, read it, recite it for me, will you?"
"I don't know, Gabby, I'm not good at stuff like that. I think you should read it yourself."
"No, you do it. Are you afraid of a scroll, of a poem, Warrior Princess?" Gabrielle teased her friend.
This time, Xena didn't gave her 'The Look', she was too uncomfortable for it. "Okay, but I've warned you. It must be terrible, I must be the worst bard of Greece." Although still uncomfortable, Xena was making jokes on herself.
"Just go ahead." Ordered Gabrielle, tears already filling her green eyes, even before 'hearing' her gift.
Xena hesitated for a moment, then began reading the poem, placing the scroll in front of her face to avoid eye contact with her friend.
I'm a warrior.I've wandered through valleys of death.
Sadness. Fear. Hatred.
I've lost my soul.
Blood, that once covered my body,
I still can't wash.
Peace, lost a long time ago,
Cannot, I do not allow myself to Know.
Yet, I'm not alone any longer,
There's a light by my side;
She holds my hand,
And, in the dark,
Cold, gloomy nights,
This light, You,
Becomes my guide.
If I am lost, blind,
Not seeing the path,
Always, always I feel your hand,
Always, always I hear your voice,
Showing me the way,
Telling me how and when and why...
I am a warrior,
And, now, I am afraid.
I fear losing the words,
And not being able to say
That, You, Gabrielle,
Bard, Warrior, My Friend,
Are everything to me.
And, You, Gabrielle,
I will never, never forget."
Xena HAD recited the poem. After reading the first words, she had let go of the scroll and, eyes closed, began reciting the poem that had been on her mind- on her heart- all the time.
Silence was all over the camp. Xena was trembling, her eyes were still closed, and she was trembling as she tried to hold the turmoil of emotions that overcame her. Gabrielle was staring at the warrior, totally speechless at what she'd just heard. Then, the bard began to cry.
Gabrielle stood up, walked toward Xena, and hugged her friend. As she felt the bard's touch, Xena started crying, her eyes still closed. She couldn't hold her emotions any longer.
The two friends were, now, trembling, crying, sobbing in each other's embrace. Then, Xena finally opened her eyes and whispered:
"It's for you, Gabrielle."
The End.