~ Who Do You Love, Warrior? ~
by GreyOne

WARNING: This story contains scenes of a sexual naturebetween two adult women. If that sort of thing bothers oroffends you, please read no further. People under 18years of age should not read this story as it contains adultthemes.

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Xena and Gabrielle areowned by MCA/Universal and no copyright infringementis intended.

Feedback to: grayone@erols.com

Who Do You Love, Warrior?
by
GreyOne


Prologue:

Xena fidgeted as the village elder droned on. If Gabrielle hadn't stepped on her foot, she would have simply gone to the bar for another drink. As it was, she paid scant courtesy to the villagers' expressions of gratitude.

Metsov was a back water village on the way to not much. Themajor caravan routes bypassed it, and only a few traders camethrough taking the old road over the mountains to the small townof Konitsa on the other side. That's where they had been headingwhen the delegation from Metsov approached them for help witha local bully and his gang.

Xena and Gabrielle had been wandering together for almost twoyears now. Xena was trying to atone for the black deeds of herwarlord years, to make the name of the Warrior Princess onevillages such as this welcomed rather than feared, whileGabrielle learned the ways of the road, honed her skills as abard, and collected tales. They were beginning to be successful.What had happened here was happening more often. Still, itcould be a bit tedious. The bully was one the villagers couldhave handled themselves if they'd been organized. One look atthe tall leather clad warrior, a few punches and kicks, somerazzle-dazzle with the sword and the gang split up and the bullyleft for easier pickings. Nothing to it, really, but now she had toaccept some flowers from the headman's daughter and listen tospeeches all afternoon long. Same speech in every town, itseemed. It was easier being a war lord! How Gabrielle managedto look attentive and interested was beyond her.

Finally, it was over. Gabrielle nodded graciously to the elders,calling each by name, making the appropriate noises. Xena'snods were more dismissive, and she felt free to call for anotherdrink before the dignitaries had left the room.

Xena drummed her fingers on the table while she waited for thedrink. Gabrielle registered that and the narrowed eyes signallingthe warrior's growing irritation. Trying to shift the mood, sheasked Xena about the next town. "You haven't told me yet whatthe big attraction is about Konitsa. Oh, I know that they've askedfor your help, but so have others. Why did you choose Konitsa?It's so far away. And what's the rush?"

"The rush is because we're crossing the mountains and it'sgetting late in the year. Snow can be a problem." The drinkarrived and Xena took a swallow. "As to why, well I owe thattown, and they are calling in the favor. That's where I recruitedmy second army."

Gabrielle sat back. "Your 'second' army? You had more thanone?"

"Ummm. I lost the first to a foreign warlord. Let's just say I hada stupid affair with him. It cost the lives of my men and verynearly mine. Maybe my soul as well. It was after that things gotout of hand. I got out of hand."

Gabrielle shook her head. "A stupid affair? Another one?"

"Don't start with me, Gabrielle," Xena warned. "I thought it wasmore than that at the time."

"But, Xena, didn't you say the same thing about ..." but Gabrielledecided after a look at Xena's face that this was not the topic tochange her mood. Not for the better, anyway. "Never mind. Pastis past, right? We'll be back on the road tomorrow, and that'll begood. There have been too many towns and villages lately, weneed a break. I'm actually getting a little tired of telling stories."

Xena looked at her in disbelief. "No, really," said Gabrielle andnailing down the shift in conversation, she added, "And, you,you're getting soft from sleeping in beds."

Xena was outraged. "What? Me? Soft?"

Gabrielle nodded innocently. "You don't think that little skirmishwith the bully boys counts as exercise, do you? You could getfat and slow if we stuck around." She carefully did not look atXena's face when she said that, just got up and retrieved herstaff. "I'm going to get a few things together for the trip-somefood and oats for Argo. What are you going to do?"

Xena pushed aside her drink, said she had some things of herown to get, and stalked out. Gabrielle smiled after her, knowingshe'd go off to practice. A workout would do her good. A decentnight's sleep and being on the road and she'd be fine.

The palace corridor seemed to go on forever. The onlysound was that of her boots on the tile floors as sheslowly, warily made her way down the corridor, that andthe soft jingle of her arms.

Then, the corridor suddenly ended and there was a doorbefore her, and opening the door seemed a dreadedinevitability.

Xena drew her sword, bent her knees slightly, threw thedoor open wide and let her sword lead her into the room.A quick look to the left, another to the right, and ... therewas the merest hint of a breeze as a sword blade passedwithin millimeters of her face to stop with the bladegently biting into her wrist. Xena froze and looked upinto eyes an even darker blue than her own. They wereunreadable, and Xena was suddenly afraid.

The woman, for it was a woman, wore indigo robes ofsome soft fabric, belted tight about the waist. Her hairwas brown and cut relatively short, curling just at theends around her neck and ears. The thin lips smiledsardonically. "The mighty warrior, Xena," and the swordcut a little deeper into Xena's wrist until she dropped hersword and let her arms fall to her sides.

"So. You know who I am. Who the hell are you?"demanded Xena.

"Ah, the proud warrior! Even in defeat, hmmm?" and thestrange woman whirled her sword in mesmerizingpatterns, showing her skill and strength all too well.

Xena waited and studied her adversary carefully. But, herscrutiny was met with a laugh. "I have no weaknesses,Xena, not for one such as you. I am here to teach you alesson you have yet to learn."

"What do you mean?" asked Xena. "Who are you?"

"I'm going to ask you a question, Xena. And, until youget the right answer, you and I will have these littleconversations every night."

Xena shrugged and sneered, trying to regain somecomposure. "What's the question then?"

The woman laughed again. "Oh, you are a rich one!" Shecircled Xena, baiting her, not unlike Xena had baitedsome opponents. "So proud, so arrogant, so unbeatablebecause you don't care if you lose! As proud in yourrighteousness as you once were in your ferocity, aren'tyou? You say to yourself, 'If I die in the pursuit of thegreater good, that will be all right.'" She sighed then andgrew serious. "So proud, so blind. Do you really thinkthat is all there is to your redemption?"

"No. I know that nothing can make up for all the horriblethings I have done, I'm just trying ..." And, the womanslapped her-if you can call it only a slap when it sentXena reeling across the room. She picked herself up andlooked back to see the woman in a rage that seemed tofill the air with electricity. She screamed at Xena: "That'snot the point anymore. Who do you love, warrior?" And,everything went black.

Xena woke in a sweat, her heart pounding, her ears ringing fromthat shouted question. (Gods! I seem to have traded one set ofdreams for another. Huh. I don't know if I like this one anybetter. What was that all about, I wonder.)

For a room in a tavern on the outskirts of everything, it wasn'tbad. Clean enough and there was a decent fire still burning, andeven two beds. She looked around the room and over at the stillform of Gabrielle wrapped snugly in blankets and breathingsoftly. (I think that's what they call the sleep of the just. I envyher. No, not really. She deserves it.) And with that, Xena turnedover, wrapped her own blankets around herself, and tried tosleep or at least rest until sunrise.

Gabrielle woke to the sounds of Xena putting together their gearand not making any effort to be quiet about it. That wasn'tunusual; it just hadn't happened in a while. "Bad night?"

Xena shrugged. "I've had worse. Let's get going."

"Ok, ok, give me a minute here," and Gabrielle yawned andstretched and pulled herself together, putting on her skirt andtop, lacing her boots, and giving her reddish blonde hair a quickflick behind her ears, she was ready. For breakfast.

Xena ate a bit of her bread, but played with the rest of it,crumbling it onto the plate. She couldn't seem to shake thedream and the lingering feelings of uneasiness. Gabrielle'sappetite was, as usual, excellent, and she took advantage of whatthe inn had to offer. She talked of the morning, the food, andwhat they had done the day before and what they were going todo that day, but all the while she talked, she was very muchaware that Xena was not eating and that her silence was not theusual reticence of the warrior princess. She noticed the handcrumbling the bread and then something else. She askedcasually, "What happened to your hand?" Xena looked up inquestion and then back at her hand and registered for the firsttime that morning that there was a cut along her wrist. Not adeep one, only a little blood, not particularly alarming in and ofitself, but Xena turned grey. She pushed quickly to her feet, said"Let's get out of here," and strode for the door, leaving Gabrielleto follow.

By the time Gabrielle had said farewells to the tavern keeper andcarried their gear out to door, Xena had brought Argo around.Without a single wasted motion, Xena stowed their things andvaulted into the saddle. She reached down to pull Gabrielle upbehind her, who hung back, saying, "I thought I'd walk today.We're not in that much of a hurry, are we?" But the look ofimpatience, anger, and tension (anxiety? fear?) on Xena's facechanged her mind. "Sure, well, might as well make some timeanyway. No need to dawdle, right?" She settled in behind thewarrior and held on as they indeed did make time leaving thevillage.

Xena could have galloped forever. She loved the feeling ofpower beneath her, the wind in her face, the rushing images offorest and fields flowing by. But they were in the foothills andbefore them were the mountains they would be crossing in thenext few days, and Argo needed to rest. Gabrielle needed to rest,too, she knew. The younger woman's arms were trembling fromthe effort of holding on for so long, but she hadn't complained.Xena was grateful for her understanding.

She slowed Argo to a walk and then to a stop as they came to astream and a small stand of oaks trees. "We'll stop here for afew minutes. Make the most of it."

Gabrielle slipped to the ground and walked off the tension of theride, while Xena rubbed down Argo with some sweet grassesand let her drink from the stream. She and Gabrielle sat on afallen log while Argo grazed. Gabrielle tried to assess Xena'smood, but then settled for the direct approach. "What's up? Whatdid you dream last night? The usual?"

"No."

"'No'-well, that's descriptive. Come on-a little more in theway of details, please."

Xena sighed in exasperation. If she didn't give her something,she'd get no peace. "Ok, there was a woman in a blue robe witha sword. She was taller than I am, and she was better with asword. She had a question I was supposed to answer or shewould keep after me."

Gabrielle listened carefully, then weighed what she would askfirst. "Did the woman also carry a whip?"

Xena frowned and then admitted she didn't know. "I wasconcentrating more on the sword."

Gabrielle then asked, "What was the question?"

But, that was enough questions for Xena. "I don't remember."

Gabrielle wondered, once again, why Xena thought she could lieso well. She certainly wasn't very successful with her, but shewould respect the warrior's privacy. At least for now. As to theidentity of the figure in the dream, she had an idea, but wasn'tsure. "If the dream recurs," and Xena barely suppressed ashudder, "see if the woman carries a whip."

They rode on at a more leisurely pace through the late morningand early afternoon. Argo had a rhythmic rolling walk and thehot sun and slow movements lulled them both into a reverie.

It gnawed at her. (Am I really "as proud in my righteousness" asI was before? There's some truth there, I suppose. I used to likeit when villagers cringed before me; now I like it when they'reglad to see me and seek my favor. I don't suppose there is muchdifference.) Then there was a voice in her mind that was at firsttoo soft to make out, but grew louder. Even before she reallyheard it, she knew what it was saying: "Who do you love,warrior?" And, she wondered to herself what that questionmeant. (Was there some trick? I loved my family, I've loved lotsof people and a number of them have loved me. I almost gotmarried once, I've had a kid, I've had any number of lovers. It'strue there's no one now, but that's part of my penance. It helpsme to keep focused. I wonder what the dream means.) And herthoughts went back to old lovers and sometimes she smiled atthe memories and sometimes her eyes tightened with unshedtears.

Gabrielle let her arms loosely embrace Xena's waist and restedher head against the strong back. She was careful in placing hercheek, avoiding the whorls of the brass armor plates fixed to theleather. One evening of Xena's teasing about her "armor face"was enough. (This isn't so bad. I wish riding were always thisway. Feels good. I wonder what's up with Xena. Something isbrewing, I know. I wish she'd talk to me. She can be soexasperating sometimes! Sooner or later, she'll have to tell me.She always does.)

They rode on into the foothills, the sun warming them, theirbodies rocking together with the movements of the horse. Therewas comfort there, trust and easy familiarity, a connection thatallowed them both to drift with the passing moments.

They camped that night a little away from the main track thatbegan to rise into the mountains. There was plenty of dry woodfor the fire, and a rabbit had cooperated by allowing itself to beeasily snared. Gabrielle collected some herbs, roots, and lateseason berries, so they were able to eat well without dipping intotheir stores. Only a few clouds were scattered in the sky. Thestars were bright and sharp in the crisp evening air, and themoon was only a thin crescent. The night was very dark, andthey bedded down close to the light and warmth of the campfire.

Again, the palace corridor seemed to go on forever. Theonly sound was that of her boots on the tile floors as sheslowly, warily made her way down the corridor, that andthe soft jingle of her arms.

Then, the corridor suddenly ended and there was a doorbefore her, and opening the door seemed a dreadedinevitability.

Xena drew her sword and opened the door, but did notstep through. She gazed around the empty room beforeher. A sudden blow in the middle of her back propelledher into the room. recovering her balance, she rolled andtwisted to her feet in a fighting stance. The blue robedone laughed at her and twirled her sword with dazzlingspeed. Xena lunged, and her blow was easily deflectedand her sword sailed out of reach. She tried to kick, andher foot was caught and she was flung to the ground. Sheflipped herself upright and flung her chakram, but therobed one merely caught it out of the air like a toy. Xenawhirled and jabbed and her hand was caught and heldand she was brought to her knees.

"That's a good position for you tonight. Stay there!" andthe commanding voice seemed to lock Xena's body inplace. She followed the blue-robed one with her eyes, notwilling to give in, but wary of the power she wielded.

The woman leaned back against a wall and consideredthe kneeling figure before her. She unfurled a long whipthat she carried on her belt and let the lash slide alongthe ground. "Are you ready, warrior? Who do you love?"

Xena considered and glaring at her replied, "I love myfamily."

"Oh, isn't that sweet. You love your family. Howunusual. Do you really think that is the point? Surely youcan do better than that."

Xena glared. "What business is it of yours who I love?Who are you, anyway?" And the lash found her back in asharp crack that left her gasping.

"It's not my business, warrior; it is yours. You'll knowwho I am eventually, but that's not important. What'simportant is who do you love?"

"I love my son."

"Umm. Not what I was really asking, and you know it.But let's deal with that. You left him, didn't you?"

"You know why I did that! He was in danger from myenemies, and I wasn't fit to be a mother. I hadn't changedfrom what I had been. I loved him enough to give him abetter life than what I could have offered him."

And the woman leaned forward and smiling cruelly askedsoftly, "How do you know that, warrior?"

Xena felt as if another lash had fallen, and the womanpursued her. "You can't know, can you? Just like youcouldn't know then. It was easier to leave, to give up. Butthink: Who do you love, warrior? Think back, who haveyou loved?"

Xena remembered. She remembered her youth and herearly days as a warlord. She remembered Julius Caesar,and she remembered his betrayal. She remembered theslave girl, M'lila who had given her life to save her. Sheremembered Petracles. She almost married him, but thenhe got bored with her and left.

Another lash fell across her back, wrenching her gaspingout of her reverie.

The woman drew back the lash and furled it. Her liplifted in scorn. "The men betrayed you, but you 'loved'them. How could you have truly loved those you did notknow, warrior? Who did not know or love you? Wasn't itreally just lust and infatuation? And the girl. You ownedher, warrior; you cannot love someone you own. Andthey certainly can't love you. Gods, you are a fool! Getout of here!"

Xena woke fighting her blanket to get to her sword. But thecampsite was quiet, the fire low, the sky just beginning tolighten. She still felt the lash on her back, and now sheshuddered, partly with the cold, damp morning air, more fromthe turmoil the dream created in her mind and heart. Hercarefully constructed world seemed to be shattering around her. She threw another log on the fire and went to check the snares.

When she returned, Gabrielle was awake and sitting wrapped inher blanket close to the fire having some breakfast. She saw thefatigue on the warrior's face and a certain awkwardness in hermovements. "Another bad night?"

Xena nodded, sat down beside the bard, and ate a bit of fruit.After a moment, she added, "She does carry a whip."

Gabrielle frowned. "That's Nemesis, then. How strange. I couldunderstand if she had come to you in the old days, but now? Idon't get it. She's the goddess of divine justice. She punishesover-weaning pride and the transgressions that pride can lead to.When you were a warlord, sure, but now?" and she shook herhead. "What happened in the dream this time?"

Xena hesitated, but then said, "I don't remember."

Gabrielle glanced quickly at Xena, but the warrior's face wasturned away. It was then she noticed the livid line across Xena'sshoulder that disappeared down her back beneath the leather andarmor. The small hiss of indrawn breath brought Xena's attentionsharply around. "Xena, your back!" whispered Gabrielle. Xenashrugged, "It's ok" and would have let it go, but Gabrielleinsisted on getting out the salve and she eventually gave in.

Gabrielle knelt behind Xena, unlaced the armor in back, andgently peeled back the leathers to reveal the two long purplemarks the lash had left on the smooth white skin of Xena's back.She resisted the temptation to cry out herself, knowing that Xenawould want to minimize what had been done to her. The salvewould help the pain and the healing process, but it hurt her tosee the marks, to think of anyone or anything hurting thewarrior. It was hard even to do this, and she watched as Xena'smuscles tightened in expectation, saw the side of her jaw clenchas with the lightest of touches she could manage, she rubbed inthe salve. When she finished, she held out her hands over Xena'sskin, close but not quite touching as if to warm herself at a fire.She moved her hands, close, but never touching, over the surfaceof the warrior's neck and shoulders and down her sides.Gabrielle's gaze was both wistful and intent. She jumped whenXena asked, "You stopped; finished?"

"Yes," was all she could reply. She laced up the armor againcarefully, and they both began the process of breaking camp.Xena partially unpacked the goods she had purchased in the lasttown and threw Gabrielle a bundle. "Put that on. It will begetting colder."

Gabrielle unrolled the cloth and found loose trousers that wouldtie around her boots and a thigh length robe with a hood. "Thatcold?" she asked.

"More than that. There's other stuff when we get into snowcountry."

Gabrielle looked up the mountain. "I've never really seen snowbefore. Not up close. What's it like, anyway?"

Xena was putting on her own robe and off-handedly remarked,"Snow is just snow. It's white and cold. It can be very pretty; itcan also be very dangerous." Then, she eyed Gabriellespeculatively and grinning wickedly, she added, "It can also befun" and refused to elaborate.

The track was relatively smooth and the slope easy for the firstday's climb. For the most part, Xena led Argo and Gabriellefollowed, but from time to time they would walk together andGabrielle would retrieve another story from her hoard to makethe time pass. Xena was grateful for the stories today. The timesshe walked alone, she could not help but think of the dream.And the question. It kept repeating in her head, a constantchorus in different voices.

They stopped to rest and drink some water and eat some breadand cheese in a sheltered area out of the wind, but warmed bythe sun. Gabrielle lay back on a warm rock and closed her eyes."So, Xena. When are you really going to tell me about yourdream?"

Xena looked sideways at the relaxed figure of the bard, "Whatdo you mean?"

"I mean that you're going to tell me about it eventually and nowis as good a time as any. You'll feel better if you do, you knowyou will. You always do."

Xena gave a little snort of derision, but looked back and saw thebard sitting up and looking at her softly and expectantly. Shefidgeted in discomfort and threw a pebble down themountainside. "What makes you think you know so much aboutme?"

Gabrielle moved to sit beside her. "We all want to be known,Xena. We all want someone to know who we are underneatheverything. To know us and to accept us. To love us. And, wewant to know other people. Some, anyway. I know who you are,and you know who I am."

"You don't know me Gabrielle; I haven't told you everything."

"Details are not essentials. I know everything I need to know,"Gabrielle insisted.

"I wonder," said Xena. And, to soften the words, she smiledcrookedly and added, "I certainly don't know you-youconstantly surprise me."

Gabrielle looked back at her more seriously. "You know me,Xena; you just haven't realized it, yet." With that she rose andreturned to her warm rock, laying down with a contented sigh.Xena watched her and waited. Finally, she had to ask, "What didthat mean?" But Gabrielle only smiled lightly and gave a smallshrug, one Xena suspected was a parody of her own shrugs.

Xena turned back to her view of the plains below. "Ok, ok.Nemesis told me I was as proud in my righteousness as I hadbeen as a war lord. Then she asked me who I loved, but didn'tseem to think much of my answers."



"And," coaxed Gabrielle from behind her, "what were youranswers?"

"The pride thing wasn't a question, but I've been thinking aboutit. All I've done so far is change sides. Instead of exploiting theweak, now I protect them. But it's really sort of the same, liketwo sides of the same coin. I may need to do somethingdifferent. I don't know what." Giving Gabrielle a sidelongglance, she added, "Maybe I should try being as patient as youare with people."

"But I'm not patient, Xena. I really like them."

Xena seemed lost in thought, and if she ever wanted to hear anymore about the dream, she was going to have to push the issue."What did you answer to the question?"

Xena refocused. "At first I didn't want to tell her anything. ThenI said my family; I figured that was safe."

Gabrielle groaned. "Trust you to irritate a god! Keep going, Iknow there is more to this."

"Well, I said I loved my son," Xena threw a larger rock downthe hill, "but she made me think about whether I did the rightthing or not in giving him up. Like, how do I know if leavinghim was the right thing to do."

"Oh, Xena, that's a hard one, isn't it? Have you changed yourmind?"

Xena closed her eyes in thought. When she opened them again,she said, "No. I think it was the right decision, but I have madea habit of leaving the people I love. Or, they've left me."

She glanced over to Gabrielle. "Can we leave this for now? Idon't want to talk about it anymore, and we need to get going."

They were about halfway up the mountain when they found aplace to camp for the night. It was noticeably colder at thisaltitude, and the wind was icy. Large rocks created a windbreakand the well-used old firepit suggested that others had found it agood spot. There was plenty of hardwood for the fire andevergreen trees for bedding. Xena collected fir boughs and thenwood for the fire, while Gabrielle dug out the cook pot and puton a rabbit stew. Gabrielle polished off her share with relish, butXena's appetite had not much improved. She ate a little, and thenseeing the bard polishing her bowl with a bit of bread, gave herthe rest. It was too good to pass up, but Gabrielle was stillconcerned. "You've got to eat, you know. But, that dream's stillbothering you, isn't it."

"Yes. You know, I'd almost rather face Callisto again, than go tosleep and dream." She shook her head and sighed. "She's makingme rethink everything. I thought I was doing so well. And, Ithought I loved...well, never mind who ... and I did in a way, butnot the way I thought. It wasn't that simple. And, now I knowthat they didn't really love me, either, not the way I believed. Ifeel really, oh, I don't know, like everything I valued is gone andI'm alone, I guess."

Gabrielle touched her arm gently. "I love you."

Xena smiled and started to reply, "I love you, too" but her voicetrailed off as she registered the depth of feeling in Gabrielle'svoice, the warmth of her gaze. "I've missed something, haven'tI?"

Gabrielle gave her a small smile and nodded.

Xena said nothing. She just looked at her.

"Well," said Gabrielle standing up. "That's ok, I just had to saysomething. Quite a novelty, huh? Now I think I need to dosomething before I embarrass myself any more." She turned,looked at the fire, and walked into the trees.

Xena's eyes followed her. She heard the sound of old leavesbeing crushed underfoot, the small snap of twigs and the crackof larger branches, footsteps, and Gabrielle appeared in the firelight to dump an armload of wood and promptly disappeared intothe woods again.

(When did that happen, she wondered. Did I know? No, Icouldn't have. Well, maybe I did. Maybe I just thought it was areflection of some of the feelings I was having. That happens.We've been together a lot. Things like that come up. It's justimportant not to take it too seriously, to let it ruin something asimportant as what we've got now.)

Rustle, snap, snap, crack, some mutterings, an "ow" and a"damn!" and Gabrielle was back to dump another armload ofwood. This went on a while and Xena watched the stack offirewood grow with curiosity and then amusement. After aprolonged period of rustlings, the sound of something ratherlarge being dragged, and soft grunts, Gabrielle backed into thelight and Xena laughed out loud. Gabrielle must have had half atree she was attempting to add to the pile! Xena lent a hand, andgiving her a sidelong glance, teased, "Exactly how big a fire areyou planning?" Gabrielle looked at the stack of firewood and thetree she was dragging and had to laugh. "It seemed like a goodidea at the time, but I guess that's enough, huh?"

Xena grinned and put her arm around her shoulders and gave hera quick affectionate squeeze. "Things will work out. Don't worryso much." She sent Gabrielle off to bed and tended the fire untilfatigue caught up with her and she could no longer stay awake.

The palace corridor seemed to go on forever. The onlysound was that of her boots on the tile floors as sheslowly, warily made her way down the corridor, that andthe soft jingle of her arms.

Then, the corridor suddenly ended and there was a doorbefore her, and opening the door seemed a dreadedinevitability. She stared at the door for a long time. Then,squaring her shoulders and removing her chakram fromher belt, she made her move. She stepped to the side ofthe door, threw it open, and flung the chakram in an arcthat would bounce it off all four walls of the room. Atthe same time, she pulled the sword from the sheath onher back and slipped inside the room, ducking from thepath of the chakram and bringing the sword up in an arcaround her. There was nothing but air, and she caught theflying weapon on its second circuit and returned it to herbelt. It was very quiet there. Xena found herself strangelyeven more terrified at the loneliness of the room and thethought that there would be no encounter, no chance tofind an answer to the question. She walked the perimeterof the room warily, but the solitude was heavy andweighed on her. Her steps slowed, her sword dipped tothe ground. She almost didn't notice at first the tip of thelash that curled around the hilt of the sword and suddenlyyanked it out of her grasp. She tried to follow the bladeto recover it, but found herself lifted and suspended inmidair, looking into inky blue eyes and seeing thelaughing mouth that told her she was a fool to try to keepfighting.

Nemesis dropped her without ceremony and turned away.Xena landed on her feet and considered rushing theretreating form. Then reconsidered and waited. Nemesisturned and seated herself on a chair that appeared behindher. She smiled lightly. "Good. You're learning. Now,warrior. Who do you love?"

And, Xena responded, "I loved Hercules."

"Hercules?" Nemesis positively chuckled. "Right. Youloved a demi-god. Admired? Sure. Respected? Fine, I'llbuy that. Even adored. But love? Someone who's halfgod, who's going to be an immortal? There's a word forthat. Several actually: words like reverence and awe. Realhuman 'love' isn't one of them."

"Well, we certainly made love," Xena snapped in retort.

"Hercules has his own problems. You weren't the first,you weren't the last. And you know what happened to hiswives, don't you? Besides, if it was so wonderful, whydid you leave? And why did he let you leave?"

Xena was silent, but not from resistance; she didn't knowwhat to say.

Nemesis prodded her, "Keep thinking: who do you love?who have you loved?"

Xena paced and then with reluctance said, "Ok, I lovedMarcus."

Nemesis nodded, "We are getting down to it, aren't we?You 'loved' Marcus."

Xena stepped forward in anger. "Yes! And, don't you tryto tell me I didn't or that it was an illusion. That was realand important to me ..." Nemesis waved her quiet andsmiled superiorly. "You don't know everything, warrior.I'll tell you what: I'll make it easy for you. Talk to him."

With that the room faded to be replaced by a vision of anidyllic countryside. The grass was sweet and the palest ofgreens from the first days of spring. Flowers bloomedeverywhere and the air was fresh and clean, the water ofthe springs clear and sparkling. People walked quietly, satcontentedly in couples, family groups, and more rarely, asindividuals. It was the Elysian Fields, and Xena lookedfor Marcus in happy anticipation. "Xena!" he called andpicked her up, swinging her around, to embrace her andto kiss her again in the old warm familiar ways.

She could only smile at him, take in one more time thoselaughing brown eyes, the rich chocolate tones of his skin,his generous mouth, and the smooth muscled lines of hisbody. They embraced and kissed again.

"Marcus! I have missed you so much! It's been so longsince we retrieved Hades' mask together. He kept hisword, I see. You are out of Tartarus. But, are you okhere?"

Marcus grasped her hand warmly. "I'm fine, Xena. It'sgreat here, really." But Xena caught a tone, a certainavoidance. "What is it Marcus? Something's wrong."

"No. It's just ... well, you see how many people here arewith other people? Couples, families? I never had that, soI don't here. It gets a little lonely."

Xena's eyes filled with reflected sadness for Marcus. "I'llbe here for you Marcus, but it's not time for me. I stillhave things to do."

Marcus shook his head. He touched her face sadly, "No.We are not for each other Xena."

She started to protest, but he put his finger to her lips."No. We are too alike, Xena. We were like mirrors toeach other, reflecting basically the same image. You werethe self I could never love in myself. Wasn't it the samefor you?"

"But we were lovers!" she pleaded. Marcus smiledbroadly. "Yes, and it was good, wasn't it!" His smiledimmed. "Maybe a little too good? A bit like makinglove to yourself, perhaps? It wasn't enough, Xena. Not foryou, not for me. That's why we didn't stay together, that'swhy you had to leave, and I had to let you go. It's toolate for me, Xena. It seems like it's always been too late.Don't let that happen to you. Please, don't let that happento you." His image and the fields faded away, leavingonly the faint echo of his voice. Then that, too, stopped.Xena threw back her head and screamed in pain and loss.

She opened her eyes to see the seated figure of Nemesisand the smile on that face was too much to bear. Shelaunched herself at the blue-robed figure and even aftershe was casually thrown off, returned to do battle in afever, in a lust for revenge, for giving as much pain asshe got, for somehow blocking out the sounds, that smallvoice in her head and heart. Nemesis threw her off againand raised her whip, but looking at the woman kneelingbefore her and her awful struggle to understand, to cometo terms with what she needed to know, what she neededto unlearn, her arm dropped and the whip fell to thefloor. She knelt before the warrior and almost gently puther hands of her shoulders willing her eyes to meet herown, and when they did, she spoke softly, feelingly."Don't you get it, warrior? All the fighting, all therighting of wrongs will not do YOU any good. There hasto be more in your heart than just passion; there has to belove, too. You have to believe in it; you have to believein yourself enough to stay with it no matter what the risk.You have to love enough to let yourself be loved." Shelightly touched Xena's face and whispered. "Who do youlove, warrior?" and Xena felt herself falling away intodarkness.

She opened her eyes to Gabrielle kneeling over her, theexpression in her eyes concerned, her hand lightly stroking herhair, and her voice softly saying that it was ok, it was a dream,she was all right. Xena sat up abruptly and pulled Gabrielle toher in a convulsive embrace. Her body tensed with strangledsobs as she buried her face in the red-blonde hair that coveredGabrielle's shoulder. Gabrielle held her, her arms strong andwarm, her voice tender as she murmured soothing words inXena's ear. Eventually, Xena's body began to relax, her breathcame easier. Somewhat reluctantly she pulled away, and shecould not meet the eyes that she saw were filled with suchcompassion. "I'm sorry. I don't... The dream ... it's getting to me,I guess. I'm sorry ...I was rough there. Did I hurt you?"

"Xena. Look at me," Gabrielle demanded, and when Xena finallywas able to do so, Gabrielle touched her face gently with herfingertips and smiled. "You didn't hurt me. And I'm not sorry.Thank you," and when Xena look puzzled, she added "for notbeing so tough for a change." Xena gave a small smile inresponse.

Gabrielle let Xena put the night behind her and pull herselftogether for the day ahead. The warrior was obviously feelingthe strain and fatigue, but she took a few deep breaths, stood upstraight and proceeded to pull their gear in place. She tossedGabrielle a new piece of apparel from the pack-strangeconstructions of leather with fur inside. "For your hands. Latertoday, it will be cold." She explained to Gabrielle that there wasa shepherd's shelter near the top of the mountain they had toreach before nightfall. The track was going to get rough fromhere on out and it was going to be slow going, for Argo and forthem.

It was rough going. The track was steep and no longer visible inplaces where rocks had fallen, the wind was fierce and bitterlycold, the clouds covered the sun, and path wound higher andhigher. They ate on the move and stuck close together, forwarmth, for companionship. Few words passed between them.There was much to think about for both of them. Gabrielle keptwatch on Xena when she thought she would not be noticed. Itmade her heart hurt to think of what the warrior was goingthrough; at the same time, she treasured the warrior'svulnerability and need of her. Xena's acceptance of that wasnew, and Gabrielle felt a little guilty at her pleasure.

Xena was in a turmoil. She'd been wrong about everything. Itwas a bitter, bitter pill to swallow, but she knew that only thetruth would save her now, that all the illusions had to go, so thattruth could be discovered. Gabrielle anchored her, but, it washard, and her pride-in her strength, in her skills, in herintelligence-had to go. With each step up the mountain she feltas if something were falling away. She felt a sense of loss, butalso one of lightness.

It started to snow, and the wind swirled the white flakes,delighting Gabrielle and filling Xena and Argo with a touch offear that speeded their footsteps. It was with relief that Xena sawthe simple shelter by the side of the track just as night fell. Thestone hut was built into the backward slope of the cliff thatformed the fourth side. Attached to the hut was a secondbuilding that would serve as a stable for Argo. There was evensome hay still left that would supplement the oats they hadpacked in for her.

The hut was one small room with a fireplace. The floor was dirtand the window was a simple opening in one wall with awooden shutter that kept most of the wind out. A few sticks ofdry wood remained and, after they dropped the gear inside thedoor, Xena went to gather more wood for the night ahead.Gabrielle started the fire and soon the room took on warmth.She found some pegs sticking out of the walls and hung theirthings out of the way. There was a rolled rush mat in a cornerthat, with a couple of small wooden boxes, made a cozy area infront of the fire to get warm and to work on dinner. The last ofthe rabbit, some vegetables, bread, cheese, of course, and, yes,now was probably the time for the honey pastry she had hiddenaway in her pack. She set the wine to warm before the fire whileshe was at it.

Xena fed and watered Argo, and then brought several stacks offirewood into the hut to thaw and dry before the fire. As shebrought in the last load and kicked the door behind her shut, shegave Gabrielle a grin and said, "It's too bad we don't have thatstack of wood you put together last night." Gabrielle flushedand ignored the comment, busying herself with the food, pausingonly to let Xena know where she could hang her outer gear todry and keep from dripping all over the floor.

Xena seemed strangely content to follow directions and settledherself down to get warm and watch the bard create a feast fromfield rations. It had been a hard day and a series of hard nights.Xena's muscles ached a bit from stress and fatigue, but sheactually felt pretty good, otherwise. She looked to Gabrielle."How are you doing? That was quite a climb today." Gabriellelooked back at her and smiled a little indulgently. "Rememberme? You've had me in training for a while now. I'm fine. A littletired, but ok. More to the point, how about you? You're the onewho's been sleeping badly, getting beaten up, and climbing amountain on top of it."

Xena waved her off, but with a smile instead of her usualbrusque impatience. "I'm fine, really." She hesitated and thenadded, "Actually, I do feel pretty good. Just tired. And hungry."

Gabrielle checked to see if the warrior was telling the truth andwas delighted to see that she was. The hut was warm no matterwhat was happening outside, Xena seemed more content, themeal was delicious, the pastry a hit-all was right with theworld.

The meal was over, the warmed wine finished, and the fireburned low. Conversation slowed to a stop, but the wind outsidekept up an unrepentant howl. Xena peeked though gaps of thewindow shutter, saw the heavy snow whipped by the wind, andconsidered the stack of wood. "I'd rather not try to go out againtonight if I don't have to. If we sleep together and keep the fireburning low but steady, we should be warm enough."

Gabrielle glanced quickly at the warrior, but Xena had alreadystarted gathering the bed rolls. "Fine. You know this climatebetter than I do. I still want to check your back, don't thinkyou're going to get out of it. Why don't you tell me how youlearned so much about snow while I do that."

Xena grumbled a bit, but gave in. She sat with one side to thefire, so that Gabrielle could see what she was doing and bothcould keep warm. Gabrielle unlaced the armor and pulled theleather aside. She was pleased to see that the welts were fading.She asked Xena questions about her warlord forays in themountains while she pulled the salve from the medicine packand warmed it in her hands. She rubbed the salve into the skingently. Xena did not flinch or tense under her hands, but kept onwith her story about meeting a strange medicine man in the hills.Gabrielle listened with half her mind, storing away the tale, andfocusing on the smooth strong back before her. It was good tohave an excuse to touch her, to watch the flicker of yellow lighton her skin, and to listen to the low tones of Xena's voice. Xenahung her head forward while she talked and her hair partedaround her neck. When Gabrielle was done, she rested a warmhand on Xena's unmarked shoulder and leaned closer, almost butnot quite touching with her lips that tender area at the hair line.Then, she thought better of it and gave the shoulder a lightsqueeze. "It's much better," she said and moved to put thingsaway, wash her hands, put some cooler air between them.

Xena rolled out the blankets in front of the fire on top of therush mat. She folded the outer robes that had dried during theevening for pillows and noted that, if it got too cold, they couldalways be added to the covers. She took off her boots andleathers, put on her shift, stretched, and lay down on her side. "Istill don't think I want to sleep on my back. You sleep here,when you're ready." She patted the area between her and the fireand closed her eyes.

Gabrielle considered the sight before her, the almost sleepingwarrior, the warm fire, the wind and snow outside, and shookher head. Unlacing her boots, she mumbled under her breath,"Sleep. Sure. Somehow, I don't think so." She approached theblankets with some nervousness, got down on her hands andknees trying to calculate exactly how to place herself. Xenasolved the problem by reaching out a lazy arm, snaring heraround the waist, and pulling her under the blankets. "Relax. Goto sleep," said the low, husky voice in her ear.

Gabrielle's heart pounded and she felt herself flush. Xena's armwas around her and she felt the warmth of her body, the softnessof her breasts against her back, the length of her legs down herown. She did not think there was any way she could sleep, butthe long day, the meal, and the wine did their work, and herbreathing slowed, her body relaxed into the light embrace, andshe drifted off to sleep.

Xena kept her own breathing low and regular. She wasn't afraidto sleep any more, but she was somehow reluctant to do so. Sheenjoyed looking at the red gold hair in the fire light, feeling itssoftness against her chin. Gabrielle was so small in comparisonwith her! She could put her arms around her and tuck her upagainst her stomach so easily. She was so warm! And, there wasa sweet freshness to how she smelled, and Xena found herselfwondering if her skin would taste as sweet. She listened to thebard drift slowly off to sleep and felt her muscles relax and herbody mold itself to hers. It was sweet in another way. And, shewatched and listened to Gabrielle begin to dream, to give thoselittle movements like puppies chasing rabbits in their dreams.She heard the breathing grow deeper and faster and low moanscome from deep in her throat and felt the small arm pull hers intighter. Xena felt her own body warm in response. She heardGabrielle whisper her name and she pulled the bard closer,protectively. Gabrielle sighed, but when she started to roll overtowards her, Xena resisted. (Oh, no, there's enough temptationhere as it is, thought Xena.) She whispered "Shhh" and "Sleep"until the bard resumed a dreamless sleep.

At some point towards morning, Xena herself drifted off. Therewas no corridor this time, only a soft voice asking persistently,"Who do you love, warrior?"

Gabrielle woke first for a change, to find the fire almost out andherself quite warm and firmly embraced. She turned carefully tosteal a look at Xena's face in a rare moment of repose. She easedherself up and Xena's arm fell away to her side. She pulled theblanket up over Xena's shoulder and bent down to gently brushthe dark hair back. Xena made a low sound and shifted herbody. Gabrielle moved slowly to get up and quietly tend the fire,building it up again to warm some water, heat some food forbreakfast. When she turned, she was startled to find Xenawatching her, her eyes a richer darker blue somehow than usual."Oh. Well. You got some sleep last night, it seems. Are thedreams over? Do you want some food?"

Xena broke off her gaze, sat up, and stretched. "It was different,but I don't think it's over. At least I got some rest. What aboutyou?" and Xena gave her an amused small smile that Gabrielledid not quite know how to interpret and decided she would notquestion. "Fine. I was fine. You were right; it was warmenough." And, Xena's smile grew a little broader until shepurposefully turned away to dress. Gabrielle registered that thewarrior was in a strange mood. Not a bad mood, which wasgood, but a strange mood, which made her suspicious.

Xena grabbed some food, threw on her outer robe, trousers, andtaking her gloves went off to check on Argo. The snow haddrifted around the front of the hut but the angle of the cliff andwalls had kept the path to the stable area relatively clear. Xenatalked to Argo, reassuring her that she had not been forgotten.She broke the ice on the water bucket and added some hay andoats to the trough. Grabbing a load of wood, she walked back tothe hut, noting the sound of the snow crunching and packingunderfoot.

Inside the hut, she stamped to clear her boots of snow anddumped the wood on the stack in the corner. "For the nexttravelers who take shelter here," she explained. Gabrielle noddedunderstanding and methodically packed up their things. Whenshe was finished, Xena grabbed one load and went out to startstowing their gear on Argo. Gabrielle followed and loaded herthings as Xena stepped back to give her room.

Xena down, a sly mischievous smile on her face, picked upsome snow, and packed it into a ball. "Oh, Gabrielle," shecalled, and when Gabrielle turned to see what this new tone ofvoice meant, a snowball landed firmly in her chest. "Hey!" Andthen another, and seeing that Xena was laughing and makingmore snowballs, a retreat seemed in order. Finding a convenienttree to shelter her, Gabrielle made a few snowballs of her own.Her accuracy surprised and delighted Xena. "How did you learnto throw so well?" she yelled between volleys. Gabrielleanswered, "You think you were the only one who played withthe boys growing up? Don't underestimate me." When she sawXena bend over to pick up more snow, she took the opportunityto do a quick flanking maneuver.

Xena looked up to see she had lost track of her quarry, and thesnow changed the sounds she would usually use to detectsomeone. She was just turning around when Gabrielle tackledher around the knees, and they both went down, rolling over theedge of the track to the gentle slope beyond. Gabrielle ended upon top and taking advantage of the opportunity and the flushedsmiling face under her, she stole a quick kiss and with a littleyelp of glee quickly tried to scamper back up the slope. Xenaerupted from the snow to grab her ankle and pull her down thesnow pleading for mercy until she had the upper hand. "Stealkisses from me, will you," she said with an evil smile. "I want itback." And, she gave the bard a thorough kiss that left hergasping. "That will teach you, wench!" said Xena with delight.Gabrielle shook her head in confusion, "That was punishment?"

"Oh," said Xena, arching her eyebrows, "It's punishment youwant, hmmm?" And, picking up another handful of snow sherubbed Gabrielle's sputtering face with snow. Then it was Xena'sturn to vault for higher ground, leaving Gabrielle to scrambleafter her in hot pursuit. Only to find Xena standing in the tracklooking up the mountain. Xena grabbed her and pulled her up byher side, "Look," and Gabrielle saw that the sky had darkenedand it had started snowing again. The wind picked up rapidly.Xena turned to her, "Get Argo unpacked and bedded downagain. I'll get more wood. We're not going any place today. Notin this."

They worked quickly, battling the wind driven snow that stungtheir faces and settled whitely on their robes and hair so thateven a small distance between them rendered the other invisible.By the time Xena brought in the last load of wood, the driftswere high around the exposed side of the hut. She gratefullyaccepted the mug of hot broth from Gabrielle and sat downbefore the fire to assess their situation. Gabrielle recognized thelook and left her to it. Anticipating the need, she inventoried thefood stores, Argo's oats, and the dry wood on hand. When Xenafinally looked up, she sat down beside her and waited.

"If we can, I want to try getting out of here tomorrow. It'll bevery rough going, but the track is easier on the other side of themountain. After that, the town is not far. If the storm blows overby tonight, we can make it over the top and get below the snowto warmer weather by nightfall. Then, the next day, we can be ina warm inn by afternoon."

"The food and wood will last that long, maybe longer, but whatif the storm doesn't blow over?" Gabrielle asked.

Xena frowned. "We've still got to get out of here. The snow willonly get deeper. We might have to go back the way we came. Idon't want to do that. Those places where the slides took out thepath, under snow ..." and she shook her head.

Gabrielle decided to take advantage of the time to make someflat bread for their meals and to replenish their field rations. Shesaved out a little of the dried meat in case the snow did not stop,but used the rest to make a thick rich stew they could eat thatday. Thinking of tomorrow and figuring they would need all theenergy they could muster, she filled some of the flat bread withdried fruit and nuts to eat on the move.

Xena checked over their gear, paying particular attention to theirboots, leggings, outer robes and gloves. There were a few minorrepairs needed for the saddle bags and the straps that held theirpacks on Argo's back. The ropes she unpacked, tested, andcoiled. Finishing, she smelled appreciatively the stew bubblingon the fire and helped herself to a bowl. She was less successfulin an attempt to snatch one of the fruit breads and laughed asGabrielle slapped her hand away.

"You're in a rare mood," said Gabrielle with exasperation,"positively playful." Then she softened and smiled. "Not that I'mcomplaining, mind you. But this is the sort of situation whereyou usually get all somber and depressed and blame yourself forgetting us into it. As if I had no say in it. So, what's going on?And, if it's that wine we've been drinking, I'm all for going backto that village where we got it."

Xena smiled and shrugged. "I don't know, but it's not the wine,believe me. It's only virtue is that it is strong and we're cold."

Xena lazed in front of the fire, while Gabrielle got out herparchment and wrote. From time to time, she would look upfrom her work and consider the warrior. Sometimes, the lookwas questioning, sometimes speculative, sometimes simplyadmiring. Other times, it was filled with longing. What she didnot know was that the warrior's eyes were not completely closed,that they studied the bard covertly. She saw every look andexpression and recognized each one. When Gabrielle rolled upher parchment, Xena let her eyes open wide and was amused atthe jump the bard made when she realized she was beingwatched.

Gabrielle did not return the smile. She tilted her head to one sideand looking at Xena, carefully selected a few words.

"Xena." The response was a slight lift of an eyebrow.

"Something's been bothering me. That was quite some kiss yougave me this morning." The response was a grin and a biggerlift to the eyebrow.

Gabrielle was not amused. "Don't toy with me," she saidthreateningly. "It's not funny and it's not fair."

She knew it wasn't nice, but Xena could hardly control heramusement. There was something about Gabrielle trying to be"threatening" that just could not be contained. So, she tilted herown head and smiled back archly saying, "And what are yougoing to do about it?"

Gabrielle fumed and started to pace, mumbling and giving Xenalittle glares, saying "I'll ... no, I'm going to ..." and then shestopped and smiled to herself, "Ok, we'll keep it simple." Shewalked over and straddled the warrior, cautioning her, "Don'tfight with me! You need me healthy tomorrow, right?" Xenarelaxed the muscles she had tensed in preparation for moreroughhousing and nodded. Gabrielle continued. "This morning,you took back more than I stole from you. You need to make itgood."

"Gabrielle, I'm not sure you ..." but Gabrielle touched her lipswith a finger, quieting her. Her green eyes were dark and deep,her voice warm. "It's not a game, Xena, it never was." She lether lips follow her finger and the kiss was sweet. So soft, sotender. And, it lingered and then moved, savoring, exploring.And Xena responded, her own warm lips and tongue meeting thebard's. The first tentative kiss was followed by one that waslonger and more lingering. First one would lightly suck on a fulllower lip, then the other. Their tongues joined in and the kissesbecame deeper. Xena's hand went around the bard's neck pullingher closer. Gabrielle's fingers found the warrior's face and thenthe long strong column of her neck. The kisses grew longer,deeper, harder. They could not seem to get enough of each other.But the kisses did not satisfy, they created a thirst for more, ahunger for more. Flushed, breathing heavily, they broke apart fora moment to look at each other in wonder. Xena's eyes narrowedin question. "I don't want to ruin things between us. Are yousure?" And, Gabrielle laughed at her. "Me? Oh, I'm sure! It's youI worry about."

Xena rolled her over, sat up to give herself room, and slowlyunlaced Gabrielle's top. Then trailing her fingertips down herbelly, she pulled aside the skirt. Her own shift she removed in asingle graceful sweep of an arm. Leaning on her elbows, she letherself down on Gabrielle. She felt their bodies touch, felt theheat and the soft pressure of breast on breast. She threw backher head and gave a deep sigh of pleasure that was half moan.Opening her eyes she saw the flushed cheeks and the soft lipslightly bruised with kisses, and she believed in the love andyearning in the green eyes dark with desire. "Gods, Gabrielle!"and she shook her head as further words failed. She loweredherself to kiss those lips again, to taste the smooth tender skinbeneath an ear, to kiss, to bite, to touch, and she was suddenlyeverywhere at once-her lips, her hands, the pressure of herbody sliding downward. She made low sounds, part growl, partpurr. Gabrielle's arms were around her, and then her fingers werethrough her hair, and her body arched against her, and she madesoft sounds of pleasure and need. Xena's mouth fell on thesmooth breasts, and her teeth and tongue teased the sensitivenipples, leaving Gabrielle gasping. Xena moved up again to giveher a long insistent kiss and then to whisper in her ear in ahusky voice. "Open yourself to me. Now, Gabrielle." AndGabrielle's legs made way for the warrior's body to lie betweenthem. Xena felt the silky curls on her belly, the heat and thewetness of the bard's need. The pressure of her body broughtGabrielle to the brink, and the sudden shift away a feeling ofsuch loss! But Xena's hand and mouth found her again, the longstrong fingers sliding inside her and lips and tongue teasing heruntil there was no thought left, only the sweet tension that builtand surged until her back arched and she cried out over and overagain and then wept as Xena cradled her in her arms.

Xena whispered endearments, made little soothing sounds,encouraged sleep. Gabrielle almost succumbed, but sat upabruptly, saying "No!" Turning to the warrior who now laybeside her, she said, "That's not all I need, Xena. It's not just me.It has to be you, too." Resting on one elbow, she let her freehand touch and stroke the long lines of the warrior's body. "Youdon't know how long I have wanted to do this. Just to touch you.To feel you. Her fingers found a breast and teased the nipplelightly so that it became hard. Xena shivered, but not from cold,as Gabrielle once again let her fingers lead the way to what hermouth wanted. But there was only so much that the warriorcould stand, and it wasn't long before Xena pulled her up to lookin those green eyes and plead, "Gabrielle, you're driving mecrazy. I'm too keyed up. I need you now!" The bard's fingerstraced the way down Xena's body, the tautly muscled belly tothe crisp curls and beyond to slip down a well-oiled slide andbury fingers inside and Xena groaned, her body thrashed andGabrielle held on to bring her tongue to bear and feel Xena'sbody tense and feel it grasp her fingers as she moved them inand out. Xena was covered in a faint sheen of sweat, hermuscles vibrated, her breath rasped from between clenched teeth,and then everything seemed to explode and there were brightlights before her eyes and a warm flood of release. Gabrielle wasthere, covering her with her own body, saying, "I've got you, I'mhere."

It was Xena then who slept, while Gabrielle kept watch.

The palace corridor seemed to go on forever. The onlysound was that of her boots on the tile floors as sheslowly, warily made her way down the corridor, that andthe soft jingle of her arms.

Then, the corridor suddenly ended and there was a doorbefore her. This time the door did not fill her with dread.She opened it, tossed her sword and chakram to the floorinside, and entered. Nemesis was seated in the center ofthe room and she motioned Xena to an empty chair. Xenasat and studied a long time the figure before her, seeingmore this time, seeing something that both touched andtroubled her. Nemesis let her take her time, thensmilingly lightly and lifting her eyebrows, she askedagain, "Who do you love, warrior?"

Xena answered simply, "Gabrielle."

Nemesis smiled. "Tell me about it, warrior."

"I'm not much on words," said Xena. "She ... I don'tknow. She completes me somehow. We're so different.But she anchors me. When I am with her I can be theperson I want to be. And I think I do some of the samefor her. I hope so; I want to."

Nemesis smiled more broadly, and she reached across toclasp arms with Xena. "Well done, warrior! I am happyfor you." But there was a flicker of-something-inthose eyes, a fleeting grimace of -- pain? Xena held thearm that would have disengaged from her. "I have aquestion now: Who do YOU love?"

Nemesis laughed, pulled her arm free, and sat back in herchair. The lopsided grin, the raised eyebrow were like amirror to Xena. "So, you've figured out why I was theone to teach you, hmmm? Why not one of the others,after all?" Her smile faded, her eyes grew bleak, andXena reached out as if to touch her. Nemesis shied fromthat hand and stood abruptly. "You forget yourself,mortal! Go!"

Xena felt herself carried away on a wind and the blue-robed figure became smaller and smaller and more andmore isolated in space until she disappeared and Xenaawoke.

Her nose tickled. The feather from Gabrielle's quill pen managedto touch her nose every time she started a new line. Gabriellewas using her for a backrest while she wrote. Feeling Xena freeher arm to scratch her nose, Gabrielle turned to look at her, tosmile tentatively, to reach out a hand lightly and see how Xenawas accepting the change between them. She was reassured bythe answering smile and the warm kisses on her palm. Gabrielleput her writing things aside and lay down with a sigh ofcontentment. Xena gathered her in and they talked and slept andtouched, as outside the snow stopped falling and the wind dieddown.

The morning came too soon, and the lovers woke to a long dayahead. They breakfasted on bread and the last of the cheese andsmall touches, soft smiles, and sweet kisses. They both wishedthey had more time there in the mountains. The stone hut was somuch their own now, and it was so private, so remote fromeverything they had left behind them and would meet again inthe next valley. But it was time to go.

The snow was deep on that side of the mountain, but once theyreached the top, they could see that the wind had blown most ofthe track clear on the other side. They made it below the snowline to a wooded campsite by early evening. The next day theyhad a room in a comfortable inn, good food, hot baths, and asoft bed they did not use much for sleeping.

And the warrior's heart softened and grew brave.

[to be continued in your own imaginations]



The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive