~~~~~
Chapter 9

We left Greece on our state visit to Rome only days after I was appointed Advisor for Civilian Affairs. Xena barely had enough time to make the appointment, much less fill me in on what my duties would be, other than her vague reference to "keeping the civilians pacified". So, as soon as we returned from Rome, I threw myself into the task of figuring out just what an Advisor for Civilian Affairs was supposed to do.

One evening I was in the library, lost behind a mountain of scrolls.

"Gabrielle..."

Xena's voice startled me, and I nearly knocked a pile of scrolls onto the floor. "Oh, Your Highness." I rose and accorded her proper respect, "I didn't hear you come in."

With a somewhat stern look, she said, "it's not wise for a newly promoted advisor to keep her empress waiting."

I glanced out a nearby window to find the sun already set and the palace illuminated by torches. "Oh, sorry, Highness. I didn't realise it was so late. I got busy. I lost track of time. I-"

"Calm down, Gabrielle. I'm not going to have you thrown into the dungeon. And, if I'm not mistaken, we're alone."

"Uh?" I got flustered, unsure what she meant by "we're alone..."

"Xena…." She cocked her head and gave me a knowing look.

"Oh. Right. Xena."

"That's better." She winked. "Now, what was so important that it kept you from dining with me this evening?"

"I was going through the latest batch of petitions. I can't believe how many I get in a day. I'm going to need a staff to help me sort through them all."

"And an office, by the look of things. What are all these piles?" The Empress thumbed through the stacks of parchments sitting neatly on the table.

I pointed to each stack as I explained. "These are requesting exemptions from various taxes, and these are land disputes. This pile contains more...er, interesting requests."

"Oh, like what?" Xena warily asked.

"Like, several petitions to have Ares replaced with Cupid as patron god of Corinth, a few offers to father my children, and one or two to father yours."

Xena cocked her left eyebrow in response, which made me chuckle.

"Then, there is this one." I became serious again and reached for a scroll. "It's cryptic and a bit disturbing."

"Is it some kind of veiled threat?" Xena asked soberly.

"No, it's more like a prediction or a warning."

"What does it say?"

I unrolled the scroll and read it aloud. "On the Ides plus one, one will have won and one will have none."

When I finished reading the scroll I looked up at Xena. I couldn't tell what she was thinking from her impassive expression, but her mood definitely changed.

"Xena, what does it mean?" There was no response, just a far away look. "Xena?"

She took the scroll from my hand and read it herself. "Nothing," Xena finally responded. She held it over a candle and watched it burn. "It doesn't mean anything."

I discovered later the scroll did mean something: Xena had just become more powerful than ever.

~~~~~

Overseeing civic improvements in Corinth was another project I took on. Some areas were quite shabby and still bore the scars of the battle in which the city fell to Xena the Conqueror. The houses of one particular street were badly maintained with an assortment of poor patch jobs, and I assigned a work crew to do a proper job on them. I had the families who lived there temporarily relocated to a nearby temple until the renovations were completed. Checking on the progress gave me an excuse to go to the temple daily and visit with the children. The families were poor and couldn't afford to send their children to school, so I told them stories and taught them how to read and write the alphabet. It made me realise that if the empire was to prosper we needed schools.

I picked a night when Xena was in a good mood to broach the subject of creating schools. We were relaxing in her private quarters after the evening meal. I waited until Xena had her after-dinner port. That was when she was most relaxed and not distracted by other matters. Xena chose to sit in a large, straight-backed chair near the fire. The chair was covered in black leather and looked severe and foreboding with top of the back rising above her head. However, I knew the chair was very comfortable to sit in. I sat on a two-seat couch opposite the chair with my legs tucked up under me.

"Xena, may I ask you something?"

"Of course. What is it?" She looked up from her empty glass.

"Would it be alright with you if I, we - the government that is - build a permanent school in Corinth and open it to both boys and girls? If it's successful, we could build schools throughout the empire so every child could get an education."

"Why do we need schools? I need soldiers, not philosophers."

"Yes, but not everyone can be a soldier. An army may conquer an empire, but it is the philosophers, mathematicians, artisans, and playwrights who build a civilisation. Besides, you need soldiers now. I'm talking of children, of the future. A future when hopefully there won't be the need to have so many soldiers."

From her facial expression, I could tell that Xena agreed with the logic of my argument, but she had more important matters to concern her. Finally she yielded.

"How much will it cost?"

"I don't know. I hadn't thought that far." This lack of preparation embarrassed me. Xena knew all the angles of any military operation before she undertook it. I suppose the same would apply to any civic operation. I felt as though I had let her down with my lack of forethought.

"You must have some idea."

"A building, a teacher or two," I mumbled.

"Work out a proposal and submit it to my Chancellor, and he'll determine if there are funds available."

I had expected Xena to just say yes. It hadn't occurred to me that she might not. But I realised that even as her friend, I couldn't expect to just ask for something and get it. This was the real world where politics and budgets constrained everyone, even Xena. Still, I felt a little wounded.

"Education is important to you, isn't it?" Xena must have seen the disappointed look on my face.

"It's important for everyone. To waste a child's potential by not giving them the opportunity to learn is a crime. And just think of the benefit to the empire if it's producing educated people. One of those children could invent something that revolutionises the way we live." As I talked I sat up straighter.

"Or a better weapon," Xena countered.

"Or a better weapon," I concurred reluctantly.

"There are plenty of buildings around. I'm sure you must have seen a few when supervising your city improvements. What have you been using as your temporary classroom?" Xena stood and walked over to the drinks table against the wall to refill her glass.

"I've been using the temple to Artemis."

"Artemis? Does she have followers in Corinth?" She turned her head to look over her shoulder at me.

"A few."

"Take over the temple then," she said, turning back to her task of pouring the drink. "If people want to worship Artemis they can find somewhere else."

"I'm not going to throw people out of their place of worship."

"You want a school, don't you?" Xena returned to her seat and faced me.

"Yes, of course, but-"

"Well, then you have to decide what is more important, a temple or a school. Leadership is about making the hard choices and then acting boldly. So, which is it going to be?"

Xena gave me a challenging look. She was testing me, seeing how I handled making tough decisions.

"A school." I slumped back in the couch. I felt defeated, not because I made the decision Xena wanted, but because it was the only decision.

"There, then that's settled. Just submit your proposal to my Chancellor, as I said. There shouldn't be a problem."

"Thank you." I was about to add 'my liege' then remembered what she had said on our trip to Rome about not patronising her when we were alone. "You know, you could show a bit more enthusiasm for the school."

"I think it's a good idea," Xena said with a feigned smile. "And I'm more than happy to leave it in your capable hands. The Chancellor will give you the money, and if he doesn't… I'll get a new Chancellor."

I shook my head. "You haven't quite grasped this enthusiasm thing, have you?"

"What I needed to know, I learned at the hilt end of a sword." Realising she came on too strong, Xena sighed and said, "I never had much use for schools, but it makes me happy that you're happy about it. I get 'enthusiastic' about other things."

"Such as?"

She turned to face the fire, a blank expression masking her features. Few people, if any, knew Xena as well as I did. Sometimes her expression could be worth a thousand words, but even in these unguarded moments Xena's façade could suddenly turn unreadable.

I was about to try and get her to open up to me when there was a knock at the door. It brought Xena out of her pensive mood.

"That's Darnell," Xena whispered to me.

"How can you tell?"

"He's the only person I know who can knock with an attitude. Listen when he knocks again."

We waited and the knock came again. I don't know if I heard the attitude, or imagined it at Xena's suggestion, but there was something different about the knock. I chuckled quietly and brought a hand up to cover my mouth so he couldn't hear me. Xena had no reservations and chuckled loudly. She was still chuckling when she opened the door.

"General Darnell, come in," she said in a voice tinged with amusement.

"Your Highness, I was informed you wanted to see me as soon as I returned." Darnell entered and saluted. "Oh." He barely concealed a scowl when he noticed me. "I hope I'm not disturbing something." Darnell placed a knowing emphasis on "something".

Xena ignored his innuendo. "No, you're not disturbing anything. Come. Have some port."

"Thank you, no My Liege. I am in need of a warm bath and a good night's sleep, but I came directly here when I arrived in Corinth. There is news from Rome." He cast a sideways look in my direction. "Perhaps I should come back at a more appropriate time."

"I'll leave you two to talk," I said as I stood up. "By your leave, Highness."

"No, Gabrielle. Stay. This won't take long." Xena turned to Darnell and motioned for him to follow her to the other side of the room.

They spoke in a loud whisper, so I couldn't help but overhear their conversation as Darnell made his report.

"Pompey's orders have reached the Roman garrisons in Illyria. The local governor was most receptive to them. I've ordered a detachment back east to strengthen the borders with the Amazon and Centaur territory. Hopefully, they haven't noticed we've been under strength there this past couple of seasons."

"Oh, they probably have," said Xena. "But they have their own problems to worry about. Continue."

"The latest reports from our spies in Egypt say that news of Caesar's assassination and Pompey's takeover has not yet reached there."

Darnell's statement puzzled me. When was Caesar assassinated and how could our spies in Egypt know of Caesar's death and Pompey's takeover if news had not reached there? I thought. Our communications were no faster than Roman communications.

"It must have reached there by now," said Xena. "I'll send a message to Cleopatra passing on the news and offering support should she want to seize the opportunity to break free of Roman rule. Any news from Gaul? I expected something from Vercinix."

"Nothing yet, Your Highness."

"Well, keep me informed. Anything else?"

"Yes. Brutus is on his way to Corinth now. He should be here in a few days."

"Excellent. Thank you, General." The Empress spoke in a normal tone of voice once again as she ushered the general toward the door. "Go take that warm bath. We'll talk in the morning."

Darnell saluted and made his departure, but not without giving me one last disapproving glance.

Xena returned to her chair by the fire. Her mood was decidedly upbeat.

"Xena, I couldn't help overhearing. Is it true? Has Julius Caesar been assassinated?"

"Yes… Pity."

"What do you mean? I thought you hated him."

"I mean it is a pity I didn't have the pleasure of killing him myself."

We both fell silent. During our voyage to Rome, Xena told me about her turbulent history with Julius Caesar. She hadn't gone into a lot of detail, but she did tell me that they had a love affair and that Caesar had her crucified and her legs broken. At the time I couldn't understand why she would risk going to Rome if she and Caesar were enemies. She had insisted that it was nothing more than just a social visit, but I knew, with Xena, nothing was as it appeared.

"What are you thinking?" she asked me.

"That you have more to do with the situation in Rome than you're letting on."

"What makes you think I had something to do with the situation in Rome?" She took a sip of port.

"General Darnell said that your spies in Egypt knew about Caesar and Pompey. I don't see how they could've known unless they had prior knowledge."

"That's what I like about you, Gabrielle, your mind is as devious as mine."

"Hmm, I don't know whether to take that as a compliment."

"It was meant as one." Xena flashed a sly grin.

"Well, did you?" I wasn't going to let her change the subject.

"Did I what?"

"Did you have something to do with Caesar's assassination and Pompey's takeover? Is that why we were in Rome?"

Xena became pensive again and stared into her empty cup.

Knowing when Xena wanted to talk and when it was prudent to keep quiet was one of the first lessons I had learned as her personal assistant. In this case, however, I pushed the point.

"Xena?"

She stood up and in a stern tone said, "This is not a civil matter. I suggest you stick to building schools and leave affairs of state to me."

"I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. It's just that-"

Her tone softened. "Gabrielle, I know you are curious by nature, but when it comes to the Romans, I would rather you not ask questions. Can you trust me on this?"

"Yes, of course. I didn't mean to make you angry. I was more concerned for you. You took an awful chance going to Rome. Caesar could've easily had you killed. Instead he ends up being murdered and Pompey is now Emperor of Rome. What's to stop him from sending assassins to kill you?"

"Pompey? He doesn't have the balls. Besides, Pompey won't make a move while Brutus is here in Corinth. Brutus has the loyalty of at least half the Roman Army. So as long as Brutus is ambassador to our court, Pompey can't make a move on either one of us."

Sometimes it was hard to reconcile that the Xena I knew and cared about was also a cunning, calculating, and formidable ruler of a large and still growing empire. And even though we had become close, she still had secrets she didn't share with me.

~~~~~

Brutus arrived four days later, and his first order of business was to pay his respects to the Empress. Flanked by two Roman soldiers, Brutus strode into the throne room with an urgency that befitted his efficient manner. A quick dip of his head was the only mark of respect he showed to Xena.

"Empress," Brutus began, "I have been sent by Pompey the Magnus, Emperor of Rome, as his ambassador to the Greek Empire, in the hope of developing closer ties between our two great powers."

Xena was seated on an intricately carved, marble throne that dominated the room. She was dressed in her ceremonial robes made of the finest silk from Chin. On her head sat a crown of pure gold in the shape of a hawk's outstretched wings, and she held the sceptre fashioned from the stone given to her by King Quallas before the battle of Ambracia. Personally, I thought her outfit was a bit over the top and told her as much when she commissioned its design. If you want people to respect you and fear you, you must appear larger than life, was her explanation.

"Welcome, Ambassador. News of your appointment has preceded you. I have arranged for a suite of rooms here in the palace for you. If you wish to establish an embassy elsewhere in the city, my advisor," Xena gestured to me, "will be more than happy to help you find a suitable location."

Brutus looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"That would be acceptable," he said.

"In the meantime, you must be tired after your journey. I'll have you shown to your quarters. Your bodyguards are welcome to use the palace barracks."

As she spoke, Xena made a discreet hand gesture and a servant stepped forward to show the new ambassador to his suite.

"I hope you'll join me for dinner in my room this evening, where we can discuss business in an informal surrounding," she concluded.

"It would be my pleasure, Your Highness," Brutus said cordially.

With the welcoming ceremony over, Xena stood and walked out of the throne room as briskly as Brutus had entered it.

I went directly to the changing room off the main hall after the ceremony was over. When I entered, Xena was handing her attendants the sceptre and crown. I paused. I couldn't help but admire how regal she looked.

"You don't mind?"

"Uh, mind?" So taken by her splendour, I hadn't heard half of what Xena had said to me.

"Making other dinner plans this evening," Xena repeated as her attendants removed her ceremonial robe. "Brutus and I have business to discuss." She emphasised "business".

"No, that's fine," I replied with only a little enthusiasm.

Having shed the accoutrements of royalty, Xena was dressed in her usual simple black leather tunic and leggings.

"I'll get rid of him as soon as I can," she assured me, "then we can have our evening chat. There are some things that we need to talk about."

"Okay. I'll wait up for you."

"Good girl. I won't be too late."

~~~~~

Since Xena was busy, I was free that evening, so I used the time to catch up on my writing. It had been a while since I'd written for pleasure, but I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was Xena alone in her quarters - with Brutus. I know it shouldn't have bothered me, but it did.

I put down my quill and walked to the window. Low clouds moved briskly on the wind, and rain could be seen in the distant gloom. I shivered and closed the shutters.

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. I rushed to open it. "Oh, it's you."

"Well, that's a fine hello." Galates affected a hurtful look, but couldn't maintain it for long. "I hope you don't greet all your guests like that."

"I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else." I stepped back to allow him entry. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No thanks. I can't stay long."

"At least sit down." I gestured to the couch.

Galates eased himself onto the couch and I sat down next to him.

"So, what have you been doing this evening?"

"I've been trying to write."

"Anything good?"

I gave him a non-committal shrug. I always thought what I wrote was good - until I read it back. Besides, I didn't want to admit I hadn't written more than a few words.

"Anyway," Galates continued, "I just came by to talk to you. I don't know if you've heard, but my unit is being sent to Thrace. We move out in a couple of days. I'll be gone at least half a year."

"Oh!" The last few weeks had been hectic for me and I hadn't seen much of Galates, but the thought that he might not be around suddenly left me feeling alone. "Who will I have to talk to?"

Galates chuckled. "I'm not your only friend."

"No, but you're my best friend. The first friend I made after leaving home."

Galates looked embarrassed by my words. "I may be the first friend you made after leaving home, Gabrielle, but I'm not your best friend."

"What do you mean?"

"The Empress," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked with bemusement.

"It's obvious to me that you care deeply for the Empress."

"Of course." I stood up and stepped away from the couch keeping my back to Galates. I didn't want him to see how flustered the direction of the conversation was making me. "She is my sovereign and she's a friend."

I heard Galates stand and felt his right hand come to rest on my shoulder. "My dear Gabrielle, I too am your friend, but you do not look at me the same way you look at her."

"Huh?"

"You care about her much more than just as a subject or a friend. You have feelings for her," Galates said gently.

"Whatever do you mean?" I moved away from his reach and tried to sound nonchalant, but inside I felt exposed.

"You love her."

"What?" I sounded genuinely shocked.

"Gabrielle, I've seen the way you look at her, the way you light up when she enters a room."

I felt my cheeks flush a burning crimson. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to a good friend. And I am your friend, Gabrielle. You can trust me."

I turned around and gave his forearm a tender squeeze. "I'm lucky to have you for a friend." I walked away and stared out the window again. "What should I do?"

"Have you talked to the Empress - told her how you feel?"

"No, I couldn't…I wouldn't…I mean, I don't know what to say."

"Speak from your heart and tell her that you love her."

"I'm afraid I'd lose everything if I did."

"And you will gain nothing if you don't."

"But I'm just a village girl - she's the Empress! She could have anyone she desires. How can I compete with that?"

Galates tenderly lifted my chin. "Anyone would consider themselves very fortunate to have your love. Tell her. I think you'll be surprised at what she says." Galates flashed a hopeful smile. "Well, I have to go. I'm on duty soon."

I walked him to the door. Before he left, Galates turned to me and said, "Remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm your man. No matter where I am."

We both beamed a big smile and then I gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Goodnight."

As soon as Galates left, I went directly to my desk and settled down to write. The scroll I had stared at blankly earlier on was now filling up with words and I lost track of time. The faint rumble of thunder punctuated the rain pattering against the shutters, but I barely paid attention to it as I wrote.

The knock at my door did draw my attention. I knew straight away it was Xena, and I felt a strange sense of anticipation as I rushed to open the door. Xena stepped inside as soon as I opened the door. As she did so, she shivered.

"It's cold in here." She looked at the glowing embers in the fireplace. "Let's get this thing going." She stirred the fire into life.

As the fire grew in the hearth and pushed heat into my room, I realised how cold it had become. It made me shiver.

Xena picked up a shawl, draped it around me and led me closer to the hearth. Her doting warmed me more than the fire or the shawl. I saw a flicker of love reflected in the warm blue eyes that held my gaze.

"You should be more careful," she cautioned me gently. "You could become ill sitting in the cold." Her fingers lingered on my shoulders and her touch ignited a fire inside me.

Only then did it hit me with a clarity that I never knew before. Galates was right. I was in love with Xena. And it seemed like the perfect moment to tell her how I felt. Just as I took a deep breath to prepare myself, she spoke.

"Gabrielle, I have something I need to talk to you about." She led me over to the couch. "Sit down." She patted the seat next to her.

"Good. There's something I need to talk to you about, too."

She waited until I was seated before continuing. "Before I forget, I told Brutus you would show him around the city tomorrow."

"Huh?" I wasn't expecting her to talk about Brutus.

"I told Brutus you would show him around the city tomorrow."

"Oh, okay." Brutus was the last thing I wanted to talk about.

"He said he'd feel more comfortable if he had an embassy separate from the palace. You can take him on a tour of possible sites."

"Certainly."

"Excellent."

"Was that what you wanted to talk to me about - Brutus?"

"No…well, yes. But that can wait. You wanted to talk to me, so what is it?"

I sighed. Clearly, it was not the time to talk to Xena about my feelings. "Nothing that can't wait. Was there something else you wanted to say about Brutus?"

"Yes. Brutus believes he is here to wait for Pompey to mess up in Rome, at which time, with my help, he'll go back and take control. However, he doesn't fully trust me and I don't fully trust him."

"Then why haven't you…?" I left the question hanging. I knew Xena had extreme methods of dealing with people, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"He may prove useful," she replied, knowing what I had left unsaid.

"But aren't you helping Pompey?" I queried, as our conversation of a few days previously came back to me.

"Pompey and I came to an agreement: he rules Rome for me and I let him have the glory of everyone thinking he's ruling for himself. And that includes Brutus."

"Why go to that bother?"

"Rome is a large empire and it would be hard to just take it over. I would rather have Pompey appear to be the ruler. That way, I get revenue from taxation without the expense of conquest."

"I can't believe Pompey would allow that. He seemed to me to be someone who'd want power all for himself."

"Quite right, and I'm counting on it," Xena said with a wicked glint in her eye. "He only agreed to be my puppet because I got Brutus out of the way and gave him the opportunity to take control. I know that once he feels his power base is secure, he will challenge me.

"How?"

"I'm going to organise resistance in certain areas of Roman control that will force him to expend resources to put them down. Once Rome is weakened, Pompey will be out, and I will be able to step in and conquer Rome more easily."

"Xena, why are you telling me all this? I thought you didn't want me involved."

"I need your help with Britannia," Xena replied. "I need to convince their tribal leader, Boadicea, that now would be a good time to move against the Roman Army - with my help of course."

"And then after they help you defeat Rome, you'll turn on the Britons and conquer them," I concluded for her.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because, it's -"

"What I do." Xena finished my sentence. "You know me so well," she said with a cunning smile.

"I still don't understand what it is you want me to do exactly."

"I need you to draft a communiqué of conciliation and cooperation from me to Boadicea."

"Xena, I'm not qualified to help you in matters of foreign policy. You have advisors who are much more skilled at that sort of thing."

"I need your wisdom and your way with words."

"But why?"

"I paid a visit there many years ago and made some enemies, including Boadicea. I need to improve relations with her so they'll accept my help. You speak from the heart and I need it to sound sincere if I'm going to get Boadicea's help."

"I don't know Xena. I'm not sure I can help you in this situation."

"Why not?"

"Well, I don't know…"

"I could order you to do it."

"I suppose."

"So, are you saying you'll do it?"

I sat silently, unsure quite how to respond. As much as I didn't want to disappoint Xena, I didn't feel comfortable.

"Well?" Xena pressed me for an answer.

"I don't think I can, Xena. You're asking me to help you deceive Boadicea into thinking you are her ally, when in truth you plan to overthrow Pompey with her help and then repay her by conquering Britannia. I'm just not sure I can be a part of that."

I prepared for what I was certain would be a rebuke from Xena for defying her will - again.

"It was wrong of me to involve you," Xena said softly.

That was not the reaction I was expecting from Xena. I was stunned.

"I know my ways are not your ways," continued Xena. "I've led you on a path you weren't meant to take."

I took her hand in mine. "As you say, our ways may be different, but I believe we were meant to walk this path together, wherever it leads us."

"Hearing it from you, I almost believe it. If I do any good at all, it's because of you, Gabrielle."

"Xena, I-"

Xena put her finger to my lips to hush me, and then she slowly leaned in. This was it - the moment I had longed for. My stomach felt like I had swallowed bats. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I waited for Xena's lips to touch mine.

Instead, she kissed my forehead, and then bade me goodnight.

~~~~~

I pushed the hood of my cloak back as I entered the building that had been the residence of the prime minister of the former king of Corinth.

Rain dripped onto the marbled floor from a crack in the ceiling. "That can be repaired," I said.

Brutus stepped around the leak and entered the large hall beyond the antechamber.

I followed him as he inspected the main hall. It was large enough to hold a good-sized banquet, the far side opened out into the gardens, beyond which the Sea of Corinth could be seen. There were several rooms off the hall that could be used as offices. The main staircase to the left of the hall led to the living quarters.

"Yes, this could do, " Brutus said as he looked around. " I'll have to check it thoroughly, though."

"Of course. Any repairs can be carried out easily, I believe. It just needs a good clean."

He nodded and ascended the staircase while I walked to the far end of the hall and stepped out into the courtyard to view the gardens.

"I'm curious," he called down. "The Empress told me about your plans for a school, and that you also write stories and plays. Perhaps you could read me one of your stories one evening. And we must arrange to have one of your plays performed at our first embassy banquet."

I was moved that Xena would speak of me. "I'd be honoured, Ambassador."

He disappeared into one of the upstairs rooms and I returned my attention back to the garden. The rain clouds appeared to be lifting and there was a chance that the sun would break through in the afternoon.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear Brutus come downstairs and approach me until he stood beside me.

"The view will be lovely when the sun is out," he said.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed him turn to look at me.

"Just like you," he added in a seductive tone as he lightly brushed my forearm with the back of his hand.

I moved away from him and continued to admire the garden.

"If you'll forgive my impertinence, you don't seem like the Empress's type..." he paused for effect, "…of advisor."

I understood his inference, but I chose to ignore it. "The Empress must like what I do."

"Oh, I'm sure of it," he said suggestively.

"…As her advisor." I tried not to let his insinuations get to me.

"Beauty and brains. Xena is lucky to have you."

His meaning was clear and it struck a nerve. I looked him in the eyes and coolly said, "Ambassador, think of me how you wish, but be careful what you say to me, or about me. The Empress once had one of her senior officers flogged for making an improper suggestion to me. I would hate for you to suffer a similar fate."

"If you were my woman, I would've done the same."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked him tersely.

"Nothing. I was only passing a compliment on y-"

"I would rather you didn't," I interrupted him.

"My apologies." He turned away from my icy glare. "It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable. I will say no more on the subject."

"That would be best."

"I'll continue my inspection alone," Brutus said as if nothing had happened. "I'll send word if I have any questions."

I gave an abrupt nod, turned on my heel, and strode out. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

Once outside, I paused to try and compose myself, but Brutus' words kept repeating over and over in my mind: "If you were my woman…if you were my woman…if you were my woman…." I didn't want anyone to find me attractive, to think they could seduce me, or to be their woman - anyone, that is, except Xena.

The walk back to the palace was short, but I was so preoccupied with what Brutus had said to me that I didn't notice it had begun to rain again. I forgot to put my hood up, so by the time I reached the entrance, my hair was clinging limply to my head. But I couldn't have cared less about the state of my hair. All I cared about was finding Xena and telling her that I loved her.

~~~~~

Finding Xena wasn't easy. I checked her study. It was empty. Next, I checked the throne room. She wasn't there. I went back outside to the drill area. There were troops there but no Xena. She was not in the stables, though her horse was, which meant she must've been in the palace somewhere. I tried her quarters, but the cleaning servant said that the Empress hadn't been there all afternoon.

As I rushed down corridors my chest began to hurt. My need to talk to Xena had started to feel like a heavy weight, making it difficult to breathe. The more I searched and failed to find Xena, the heavier the weight became. I felt like I was in a nightmare: desperately searching the seemingly endless hallways and rooms, unable to breathe - unable to find Xena.

I was running around the corner, on my way to check the throne room again, when I quite literally bumped into her. "Oof!"

She took hold of me by the arms to steady both of us. "What's the hurry?"

All my pent up emotions came to the surface. My confrontation with Brutus had left me unsettled. My search for Xena had been frustrating. I was so glad to have finally found her that I started to cry.

"Hey! What's the matter?" cooed Xena, pulling me into an embrace.

The sight of her and the feel of her hands supporting me never felt so good, but you couldn't have guessed from my reaction. I buried my face in her chest. I was so out of breath that my tears were accompanied by heaving sobs.

"It's okay, Gabrielle." She stroked my damp hair, gently entwining her fingers in my short locks. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Oh, Xena!" I managed to say between my sobs.

"Are you hurt?" She held me away from her and tilted my face up to hers. "Brutus! Did Brutus hurt you?"

I heard the rising anger in her voice and felt her body trembling.

"If he did, he's a dead man!"

"No! Brutus didn't hurt me, I just..." I couldn't say any more. I buried my head against her body and clung to her as if my life depended on it.

I don't know how long we stood in the corridor, but eventually Xena lifted me in her strong arms and carried me away. My sobbing eased and I fell asleep before we reached our destination.

~~~~~

I awoke to Xena's worried face peering down at me.

Xena gently mopped my face with a damp cloth. "How are you feeling?"

I closed my eyes as I recalled the tumultuous emotions that had boiled out of control in me. I felt confused, embarrassed, drained, and unsure of where I was or how I got there. Xena told me she had carried me up to her chambers where I had been sleeping for the better part of two hours.

I immediately tried to get up from the bed. "Two hours? Xena I-"

"Stay put and rest," she ordered.

I did what I was told and leaned back against the pillows. I studied her face. Her brow was creased with worry and concern, but she looked as beautiful as ever. And those amazing blue eyes, that could strike terror into even the most hardened soldier, were soft and comforting. She made me feel loved and protected.

"Here, drink this." Xena handed me a steaming cup of liquid.

The warmth of the cup felt good in my hand. I'd felt bone-chilled since leaving Brutus. "What is it?"

"Herbal tea. It'll help you relax."

I took a few sips. Her smile widened as I reached out and placed my palm against her cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered hoarsely.

"For what? A cup of tea?"

"For that, and for caring."

Her smile faded and she averted her eyes. She looked lost and afraid for a moment, as though she had discovered a situation she couldn't control. I wanted to tell her I was there to help her, as she was there to help me. But what help could I provide? Here was a woman with power second only to the gods, someone who held in her hands the lives, and deaths, of millions. She only needed to ask for something and it was hers. She didn't need help.

She needed love.

"Why were you crying?" Xena asked softly.

I took one last sip and handed back the empty cup. "Things just got on top of me today." I lied. I was afraid of what she might do to Brutus if I told her what had happened.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I thought about her question about what made me cry. I had a sudden thought: I'd seen Xena smile and laugh, I'd seen her relax and sleep. I had seen her angry and murderous. One thing I had never seen her do was cry. I could remember moments when she stifled her emotions to stop tears from welling up, and times when her eyes were reddened as if she'd shed more than a few tears, but never once had I seen her cry.

"What makes you cry?" I asked without thinking.

She dropped her head, breaking contact with my hand, and moved back out of my reach. I thought for a moment she wasn't going to answer, but when she did it was in a barely audible whisper. To me, though, it was the loudest word she had ever spoken.

"Loneliness."

It was the final piece of the puzzle. This complex woman had been in my life for more than a year, and in that time I had been building a picture of who she was. As my feelings for her grew, I had been trying to gain as much insight into her as possible, trying to understand the whole person. And the piece that completed the puzzle was the one that had been right in front of me all the time - she was lonely.

I sat up and reached out to her. She brought her hands up and her long fingers linked with mine.

"You're not alone," I whispered.

~~~~~
Chapter 10

It is said that the bitterness of betrayal is made sweeter by revenge. Julius Caesar was dead, and while his bloody corpse lay rotting in the earth, I ruled Greece and Rome. Revenge was sweet indeed. My only regret was that Caesar had died too quick a death for my liking, but at least I had the satisfaction of knowing that he was betrayed by those he trusted: that fool Pompey and the honourable Brutus. Honourable? A scheming swine was more like it.

I had arranged for Gabrielle to show Brutus around Corinth and help him find a suitable location for his embassy. I wasn't expecting her back for several hours, so I was surprised when she literally ran into me outside the throne room. She was a sight: her clothes and hair sopping wet from rain, her complexion pallid, her eyes dull, and her face streaked with tears. Obviously shaken, she fell into my arms and sobbed.

I felt my anger rise up like bile with every tear she shed. Gabrielle denied it, but I knew that bastard Brutus had something to do with it. As much as I wanted to find him and cut his heart out for causing her such distress, Gabrielle was my first priority.

The royal apartments were on the north side of the palace, on the top floor, directly above the throne room. Gabrielle's rooms, however, were at the other end of the east wing. Since my rooms were closer, I picked her up and carried her there. Somewhere halfway up the stairs, Gabrielle fell asleep in my arms. Guards stopped leaning on their lances and snapped to attention when they saw me coming down the hallway. The watch commander rushed over to help, but I waved him off. I didn't want Gabrielle wakened. As the doors to my private living quarters were opened, I brushed past the guards and headed directly toward my bedchamber.

"See to it that no one disturbs us for the rest of the night. Is that clear?" I said in a low whisper.

"Yes, My Liege," the watch commander responded. He and the guards saluted smartly and left, closing the massive wooden doors as quietly as they could manage.

Being careful not to wake her, I got Gabrielle out of her wet clothes and slipped her into my bed. I leaned down and touched her cheek; it felt warm.

One of my bedchamber attendants stepped forward. "Shall I fetch the healer?"

"No. Fetch me a cloth and a basin of cool water, and some herbal tea and a cup of hot water."

"Yes, Empress." She and another attendant scurried out of the room and came back a few minutes later with the items.

"Good, now leave us. I will call you if I need anything else."

The servants exited the room bowing and left me to minister to Gabrielle.

~~~~~

Gabrielle slept for more than two hours. I sat with her the whole time keeping a cool, dampened cloth on her fevered forehead. Finally, she awoke. I smiled at her, but I could feel the worry tug at the corners of my mouth. Had she felt better, I'm sure Gabrielle would've noticed how unconvincing it was.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

Gabrielle was still a little disoriented. "What happened? How did I get here?"

"You were upset and soaked to the skin, so I brought you here to my chambers."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"About two hours."

"Two hours? Xena I-" She tried to get up, but I stopped her with a gentle hand against her shoulder.

"Stay put and rest," I said firmly.

"I wasn't planning on going anywhere," Gabrielle whispered solemnly and settled back against the pillows.

I removed the damp cloth from her forehead. "Here, drink this." I handed her the cup of warm tea I had made for her.

"What is it?" she asked, warming her hands on the side of the cup.

"Herbal tea. It'll help you relax."

Gabrielle took a few sips. "Mmm, good. Thank you."

"For what? A cup of tea?"

"Well, for that - and for caring."

If she only knew how much I cared, I thought. If only I had the courage to tell her. Instead I made light of it. "Well, I can't let my most trusted advisor get sick now, can I?"

Gabrielle managed a weak smile, and then took one last sip before handing me back the empty cup.

I put the teacup down on the end table before turning my attention back to her. "Now, tell me what happened. Why were you crying?"

"I..." she hesitated. "Things just got on top of me today." Her brooding look told me there was more to it than that, but I didn't want to press her to tell me until she was ready.

We sat for several interminable minutes, the silence punctuated only by the muted sounds of servants and soldiers going about the business of securing the palace for the night. Doing nothing was the worst kind of torture for me. I sorely wanted to find out what had happened. I wanted to make the responsible party pay for putting her in such a state.

Just as I was about to demand she talk to me, Gabrielle spoke.

"What makes you cry?" She blurted out.

Her question caught me completely off-guard. No one had ever asked me that question. I was nonplussed. My spine stiffened as my instincts took over. I found myself moving away and putting some distance between us. We sat in awkward silence while I wrestled with my instincts to mistrust people's motives. I reminded myself that this was Gabrielle. She had no hidden agenda. If she asked, it was out of genuine friendship and concern. Still, the walls I'd built to guard my emotions were thick and hard to breach.

Then it struck me. Only a moment before, I had been impatiently waiting for Gabrielle to open up to me, getting more irritated every second she didn't. Gabrielle, however, patiently waited for me to open up to her, neither pursuing me nor pressing me to answer. The irony of it made me pause and reflect: Gabrielle wasn't just asking me what made me cry, she was asking me to drop my defences and let her in.

All the while, I'd been wringing the life out of the damp cloth still gripped in my hands. I put down the cloth and thought about her question - really thought about it. After taking a deep breath, I made up my mind to open the fortress gate and admit what made me sad.

"Loneliness." My voice sounded timid and unsure. I suppose I was afraid to admit it even to myself.

Gabrielle sat up in the bed and reached out and took my hand in hers. "You're not alone."

The love reflected in her green eyes and in the warmth of her touch conveyed the deeper meaning of her words. That's when I knew I could trust Gabrielle with my heart. I wanted to gather her into my arms and thank the Fates for my good fortune. Instead, I sat there, holding her hand like a love-struck youth, searching for the courage to tell her how I felt.

In contrast, Gabrielle was bold and courageous. "Xena, there's something I've wanted to tell to you."

"Yes, Gabrielle, what is it?"

"I love you, Xena. I'm in love with you."

Her words hit me like a roundhouse kick. I was staggered. "You don't know what you're saying!" Again, I didn't react the way I wanted to. I wanted to shout I love you too, Gabrielle, instead I pulled my hand away and raved like a madwoman.

Gabrielle remained composed and undaunted. "Yes I do, Xena. I may not know much about the ways of love, but I do know what love is. And I know I love you."

"No, you don't! How could you? You're just a-"

"A what? A girl?"

"No, I..." My mouth was as dry as the deserts of Egypt. I needed a drink. I got up from the bed and retreated across the room to a table near the balcony. I poured a goblet of wine and gulped it down, and then poured another and gulped it down.

I felt a hand touch the small of my back. My muscles tensed, and I cursed myself inwardly for not sensing her approach. In battle, that would've been a costly mistake.

"Xena," Gabrielle said. "Did I somehow misinterpret your feelings for me?" Gabrielle had me cornered against the serving table, and there was no place left for me to run.

With one last gulp of wine for fortitude, I turned and faced her. "No, you didn't misinterpret my feelings for you. It's just..."

"It's just that you opened your heart once, to Caesar, and he betrayed you, so you're afraid to let someone get that close again. Is that it?"

"That's part of it," I admitted.

"And you're afraid you'll hurt me."

"You don't know what I'm capable of," I warned her. Suddenly, my mind conjured up images of that girl who resembled Gabrielle, Anteia, and how roughly I had treated her.

"Yes, I do. I know you are passionate, and your passion can sometimes erupt into anger, but you also have the capability to love just as passionately."

I didn't answer. My mind was still a tempest of conflicting emotions: love, disbelief, elation, uncertainty. She was right when she said about me being afraid of letting myself trust enough to love. I gave my heart to Caesar and he crucified my trust.

"Xena, do you trust me?"

"Huh?" Gabrielle had this unnerving ability to read my thoughts. "Yes, of course."

"Then trust that I love you, and I would never, ever betray you." Gabrielle had knocked down the last of my defences like a catapult.

"Gabrielle, I..." The words didn't come. I was finally ready to admit my feelings for her, but the words got stuck in my throat.

"I know, Xena."

Gabrielle tilted her head and leaned upward, gently touching her lips to mine. Again, I hesitated as my instincts sounded the alarm. But this time I ignored my head and gave into my heart. I took Gabrielle in my arms and kissed her back. The kiss was lingering and sweet. Drawing her closer still, we shared another tender kiss. And another that hinted at the passion I felt for her. I took my time, ever so lightly coaxing her lips to open and her tongue to move with mine. As our desire became more heated, our kisses became more passionate.

Needing to catch her breath, Gabrielle pulled back from my lips. "Wow," she dreamily exclaimed.

Wow is right, I thought. I had kissed many lovers passionately but felt no passion. Kissing Gabrielle left me quivering and tingling like I'd been hit me by a thunderbolt. With her standing so close to me, wearing only my red silk robe draped loosely over her petite body, it took all my willpower not to pull her down and make love to her right there on the floor.

Desperately clinging to my last grain of control, I released her and took a step back. Before we took this any further, I felt I needed to make a confession.

"Gabrielle-" "Xena-" We both spoke at the same time.

"You go first," I deferred.

"No, you go first." Gabrielle insisted.

So I did. "Remember that night in Thessalia, when I nearly forced - uh, when I kissed you?"

"Yes," she said. The sadness in her voice made me wince at the memory.

"Well, I wasn't that drunk. I was jealous. The thought of you with..." I paused.

"Galates," she offered.

"Yes," I admitted.

"Xena, I swear to you, Galates and I are just good friends."

"I know. My behaviour was inappropriate and I...regret it." I wasn't much good at apologies either.

"It's alright," she said, her fingertips brushing it against my cheek, "but thank you."

Guiding her hand to my lips, I placed soft kisses in her palm. Her body faintly shivered as the tip of my tongue lightly traced her lifelines. The effect this was having on Gabrielle had an effect on me. I felt a warmth that I knew didn't come from the wine.

I released her hand and brought the conversation back to her. "Now what were you going to say?"

"Well, I have a confession to make, too," she said.

"Yes?"

"I'm not...I haven't...." Her cheeks flared scarlet as she stumbled through her confession.

I had assumed Gabrielle was a virgin and, admittedly, that thought had fuelled my fantasies. I'd had taken many lovers to my bed and thought little of it past my own sexual gratification. Suddenly I felt a twinge of guilt for having taken from others this precious gift Gabrielle was so freely giving to me.

"Nothing has to happen tonight, Gabrielle. We can take things as slow as you need to."

"No!" she exclaimed. "More than anything I want to be with you, to give myself to you. It's just that I don't have a lot of experience, and no amount of talking is going to help me bluff my way through this."

"Gabrielle, talking is the last thing I want you to do tonight," I joked. That got her to smile a little and relax.

Gabrielle took my hand and led me over to the bed. After she helped me undress, we lay in bed facing each other. Gabrielle looked at me with such love and longing. I can't ever remember seeing that look in a lover's face before. I wanted to etch this night into my memory: the warmth of her soft skin against mine, the lingering scent of olive oil and lavender in her hair, the faint taste of herbal tea on her tongue.

With the yielding shimmer of love in her soft green eyes, Gabrielle was the image of both innocence and seduction. I've never wanted someone as much as I wanted her at that moment. That's when the reality of what was happening finally sunk in. This was not just another night of carnal pleasure. Gabrielle and I were making love, and it was her first time and our first night together. Adrenalin coursed through my body in equal parts desire and fear.

I leaned over her, pressing my lips ever so softly against hers, waiting for my tongue to be given entry and then letting her set the pace. Our tongues moved in a slow, sensual dance, like two mermaids playing in the sea.

Gabrielle's hips began to move and her breathing quickened as I reverently kissed my way down to her breasts. Hearing Gabrielle moan sent a wave of empathic quivers down to my own groin. I had to be careful not to pinch or suck on her sensitive nipples too vigorously.

While my mouth roamed the landscape around her firm peaks, my hand made a slow descent, exploring the topography of Gabrielle's soft curves. When my fingers reached the very edge of her pubes, I paused one more time to gauge whether she really wanted this. I saw Gabrielle's answer in her eyes: her eyelids were half-closed, her irises had turned a deeper shade of green, and her pupils were wide with desire. My throbbing mons demanded attention, but her pleasure was all that mattered to me.

Gabrielle's pelvis rocked against my hand, wordlessly communicating her need to be touched. My fingers moved in small circles, applying just a little pressure as my hand inched closer to her clitoris. Her stifled moans sounded more like adorable little squeaks, but I knew she would soon be crying out my name. That was a potent aphrodisiac.

"So beautiful," I murmured softly in her ear. Her mumbled response resonated deep inside my aching vagina, releasing a stream of wetness that coated my sex. It was sweet torture for me to deny my own demanding nature and focus instead on my desire to please Gabrielle.

Gabrielle's hips lurched when my finger first grazed her clit. Gliding along her swollen folds, my finger gently explored just inside her vagina, coaxing it to release more of its musk rose nectar, while my thumb pressed against the hooded pearl of her clit. I was careful not to push too hard. I knew she was becoming very aroused, as was I, but I didn't want her to come just yet. I wanted this moment to last for the both of us.

On her next upward thrust, my finger broke through the delicate barrier. Gabrielle took a sharp breath as my finger settled inside her.

Soon her hips were undulating in rhythm with my gentle thrusts. Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. Her guttural moans urged me to quicken my pace.

When I sensed she was ready, I added a second finger and delicately stroked the silken walls of her vagina. I murmured my encouragement. "Come for me, Gabrielle."

"Ohhhh..." she cried as her back arched upward and her muscles tightened, "...Xena!"

I too felt a surge crest inside me as I held her juddering body close to my own, and we were joined as one in that exquisite moment of release.

When our bodies finally stilled, Gabrielle rested her head on my chest and curled into me, and I enfolded her. We held each other in contented bliss for several minutes.

Her speechless enthusiasm made me beam. I knew just how she felt, because I felt the same. I couldn't remember sex being anything other than a release for my frustrations, or a method of exercising my control over someone. With Gabrielle, it was a gift of love, one heart to another - a mating of body and soul. I didn't know I could be so moved. It was wondrous - indescribable really.

When Gabrielle was finally able to speak, she could only manage a word or two. "Xena that was... I felt...."


"That's what you're supposed to feel," I said, "and that's only the beginning."

"You mean there's more?"

My tongue lightly traced the outside of her ear, which brought forth another low moan from Gabrielle.

"Much more," I whispered seductively.

"I don't know if I can take any more!" She exclaimed.

I met her gaze with a knowing smile. "Trust me, you can, and you will love it."

We exhausted ourselves through the sheer intensity of the love we felt for each other. I had never experienced such power as when I made love with Gabrielle. Greece, Rome, the whole world, could not give me that power. One only gets that kind of power from surrendering to the unconquerable force of love.

I thought she had fallen asleep until I felt a tear fall onto my skin. "Why are you crying now?" I asked.

"Because I finally know where I belong - with you. I love you, Xena."

That night, I wanted to give her everything, show her everything. Instead, she showed me lovemaking at its most intimate and sensual. And finally I knew where I belonged - with Gabrielle.

"I love you, Gabrielle." I had finally found the words.

~~~~~

The next morning, I awoke with Gabrielle's soft skin pressed up against me. My whole world had changed because of the woman sleeping in my arms. Recalling how exquisite the previous night was, I felt like I had been reborn.

There was nothing I wanted more than to stay in bed all day and make love with Gabrielle, but affairs of state beckoned. I had an audience with Brutus before mid-day, and I didn't want to keep the new Ambassador from Rome waiting.

It was hard to get up. The warm, comfortable presence in my bed was something I wanted to savour for as long as possible. I looked at Gabrielle's peaceful face and the contented smile that graced it. I struggled to remember the last time I had seen anyone so relaxed, so comfortable, so at ease in my presence. I leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. She groaned and one hand came up to rub where my lips had been.

The melody of bird song signalled the oncoming dawn and I climbed out of bed. I wrapped a robe around myself and stepped out onto the balcony. The courtyard below was slick with overnight rain, but the coming day promised to be dry. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the palace and the city waking up. After a few minutes, I heard the soft rustle of sheets being moved aside, then the gentle patter of feet, and finally I felt arms wrap around my waist and a cheek press against my back.

"Come back to bed," Gabrielle murmured, "it's cold."

I turned around in her embrace and looked down at her. "I'd love to, but I have some business to attend to before the audience with Brutus."

She looked back with a resigned smile.

"Don't worry," I continued, "I'm planning on keeping this afternoon free."

Her smile widened and an inviting twinkle appeared in her eyes. Suddenly, my morning plans didn't seem quite so urgent.

~~~~~

I studied Darphus as he walked across the floor of my study to where I was seated. He had a carefree, relaxed attitude to his stride. His scarred face carried an easy smile as he halted and saluted.

"You sent for me, My Liege?"

"Yes, Lieutenant. At ease."

He relaxed his posture at my command.

"I need a strong man, Darphus, but above all I need a loyal man."

A few yellowed teeth showed as his grin widened. "Me?"

I nodded.

"I'm always ready to serve you, My Empress."

I stood and walked with an authoritative gait over to the window. "Law and order are the cornerstones of a strong empire. I have neglected it slightly. With Gabrielle's appointment I thought it would be enough, but I need a force to ensure her orders are carried out. I want you to head that force."

The idea for this force had come from Larrius, the dissident that Gabrielle had sentenced. I didn't tell Darphus this, though I knew he would find out in time. Getting him to take the job would be easier if he assumed it was my idea.

"I'm not sure I understand." Darphus furrowed his brow.

"Law needs to be enforced. If someone breaks the law, there needs to be someone to bring him to justice. Likewise order. If something threatens the order of society, the people need to be protected."

"Isn't that already the job of the army?"

"I need my army to concentrate on external matters. I want you to co-ordinate with Gabrielle in setting up a civilian force. They won't be as highly trained as the regular army." I could see doubt on his face. "I'm not talking about a weak force, Darphus. I want them as loyal and strong as my army, but I want them to be trained to deal with crime, not war."

Darphus pondered my words for a few moments. "As head of this force, would I take my orders from you or Gabrielle?"

"Both of us, though Gabrielle will be your point of contact, in general. She'll convey all but the most important of my orders. She'll also be giving you her own orders. They'll be more directives than orders. I'm sure once things settle down you'll be able to run things with minimal guidance."

That easy demeanour Darphus had when he entered my study was gone. He looked pensive and said nothing for several minutes. I had anticipated having to convince him or even order him to take the job, so I added an incentive. "Of course, if you do a good job, it might mean a promotion."

"You mean, to Commander in the Imperial Army?"

"Perhaps. Let's see how well you do with the Civil Protection Force first."

That seemed to help him make the decision, before I had to make it for him. "I guess it'll be a challenge."

I ignored his lack of enthusiasm for his new position. "That's the spirit. I know I can count on you."

Darphus mumbled an acknowledgement and I dismissed him.

~~~~~

After attending to the important issue of the morning, I then had to deal with a more delicate matter.

Galates was in the barracks polishing his armour when I found him. He jumped to his feet, just catching the armour before it fell to the ground, and stood to attention.

I took my time to study the barracks before turning my attention on the handsome, young lieutenant. He was as eager as ever to please, but had lost that edge of nervousness he first had when he was promoted to my senior staff.

"Your unit is about to begin a tour of duty in Thrace, is it not?"

"Yes, My Liege." His reply was perfectly clipped, just like his stance.

"When do they leave?"

"Dawn tomorrow, My Liege."

"You won't be going with them." I saw him want to ask why, but he knew better than to question my words. "You're being transferred to the Palace Guards - with a promotion to Lieutenant Commander, of course."

Unlike Darphus, Galates seemed genuinely pleased with his new assignment. "Yes, My Liege. As you command, My Liege." He nearly fell over coming to attention and saluting me.

"At ease, Lieutenant Commander."

He stood at ease with the same precision he stood to attention with.

I had to consider my next words carefully. I knew what I wanted to say to him, I just didn't know how, or why.

"Gabrielle and I..." I reconsidered my words. "We... what I mean..." I closed my mouth hard. I was making myself look a fool in front of a subordinate. I shouldn't have to explain my sleeping arrangements with a soldier, but Gabrielle valued her friendship with Galates and I somehow felt I ought to tell him.

"Permission to speak, My Liege?"

"Granted," I said with some relief. It would allow me time to get the words right.

"Gabrielle has already spoken to me," he said, his cheeks reddening. "She told me... told me that... um." He cleared his throat.

"I think we both know what she said."

"Yes, My Liege."

"I know Gabrielle would miss you if you went away. But don't think that my decision to put you in charge of the palace guards is solely based on that, or that being her friend gives you any special privileges."

"No, My Liege."

"You earned this on merit, and if you fail me you'll suffer the same as anyone else who fails me. Is that understood?"

"Yes, My Liege."

I took the time to study Galates and discovered why Gabrielle considered him a good friend. He exuded an air of trust. I got the feeling that he was incapable of duplicity, that he was willing to give without expecting to receive, and that he would protect me by laying down his own life without a second thought. Just like Gabrielle.

So why had Gabrielle chosen me and not Galates? I wondered.

~~~~~

Some would say diplomacy is like a play, with actors dressing up in costumes and saying the right words on cue. Others might call it a game, where pawns are moved about the board according to a set of rules. To me, diplomacy is a battle: words are used to outflank the opponent instead of soldiers.

Diplomacy demanded that Brutus receive an official reception. His brief appearance in my throne room a few days previously had been nothing more than a simple hello. A proper audience was required where he would declare his ambassadorial credentials and I would offer him the usual range of diplomatic privileges. Several of my regional governors had arrived to witness the occasion. Braextus was one of them. I hadn't seen the governor of Thessalia since I had conquered Athens.

"Empress." He bowed respectfully. His face broke into a friendly smile when he saw me.

"Governor." I extended my hand and he clasped it in his own. "It's good to see you again. I've been meaning to pay you a visit."

"There's nothing wrong is there?" A moment of doubt flickered in his eyes. "I mean, you're always welcome, but I hope I'm doing a good job for you."

"You're doing fine." I eased his worries. The fact that he was worried piqued my curiosity. I made a mental note to find out why. I stepped back and looked him up and down. "Though you've put on a bit of weight by the looks." I laughed and patted his stomach.

He returned my laugh. "You know how it is, too much paperwork and not enough action."

"You need to get an assistant," I advised him.

"Speaking of which, what did you do with yours? Is she still around?"

At the mention of Gabrielle, my thoughts turned to the previous night. I must have spent too long thinking because Braextus prompted me.

"Empress?"

"Hmm? Yes, she's still around. In fact, I promoted her."

"Promoted? To what?"

"Gabrielle is now my Advisor for Civilian Affairs."

Braextus chuckled. "You getting soft in your old age?"

"The people are important, Braextus. Without them I wouldn't have an empire to rule. It makes sense to keep them placated."

"I thought you were all for ruling through fear."

"Oh I am. The people fear my justice, but by seeming to care for them they are less likely to cause trouble. And the less effort I devote to dealing with internal unrest, the more I can devote to conquering other territories."

"Like Rome?"

"Exactly."

"What is this Brutus like?" he asked.

"Clever. Possibly dangerous," I said.

I glanced around the room, noticing a few more arrivals. Among them was Gabrielle. She was chatting to Darphus, but she turned to look at me as my eyes fell on her. She gave me a tiny nod and returned her attention back to the commander.

I excused myself to Braextus and circulated around the other guests. I had instructed everyone to arrive before Brutus, and at my signal they lined up either side of the aisle.

"Come with me, Gabrielle." I took hold of her arm and led her to my throne. Darnell was already standing there. "Move over," I ordered him.

There was a pause of several heartbeats before the general took a couple of paces to his right. I took my seat and left Gabrielle standing to my immediate right. I could hear the muttering from the crowd as they took notice of the position I put Gabrielle in. I picked up my sceptre and tapped the arm of the throne. Silence descended.

Satisfied that everything was in order, I counted to twenty, and then nodded at the guards near the doors. The two soldiers took hold of the massive brass door handles and pulled the doors open, revealing Brutus and his honour guard.

I watched the Roman ambassador march slowly up the aisle. His eyes flicked to Gabrielle at my side. I wondered what he was thinking. Despite Gabrielle's insistence to the contrary, I knew Brutus was responsible for the state I found her in the evening before. As he approached, I pondered what the correct protocol was for killing an ambassador at his official reception.

Brutus paused at the foot of the steps that led up to my throne and bowed.

"Your Highness," he intoned cautiously.

I waited in silence for him to look up. He flinched momentarily when he saw the glare I had fixed on him. At that moment, it would have been so easy to strike him down. But a presence on my right held me back.

Brutus recovered and cleared his throat. "May I present my credentials along with a letter from Pompey the Magnus, Emperor of the Imperial Roman Empire." He gestured for one of the guards to step forward. The soldier held out a couple of scrolls to Brutus. He thought about taking them before sending the soldier up the steps to hand me the parchments.

I smiled inwardly at his reaction. He was smart enough not to get too close at that moment. I took the offered scrolls and handed the soldier one of my own.

"This scroll," I announced, "confirms your ambassadorial status and grants you all privileges that the position accords." I frowned. I wasn't sure I remembered that bit correctly. I waved my hand. "Or whatever," I added.

"Thank you, Empress Xena." He took my scroll from his guard. "May this exchange be a positive step in the relationship between our two great nations."

"Indeed. I look forward to forging closer ties with Rome."

With a nod I signalled the end of the formal acceptance of Brutus as ambassador. A ripple of applause spread through the gathered guests.

"Time for the banquet," I declared.

A rumble of conversation started as the guests broke line and headed out of the throne room toward the banquet hall. I stood up and gestured for Gabrielle to precede me down the steps. Brutus was waiting for us. He bowed his head in Gabrielle's direction.

"You seemed upset about something, Your Highness," Brutus said to me. "I hope I haven't inadvertently done anything to cause that."

I shot a quick glance at Gabrielle before answering him. "I had a very good night last night, and was hoping to continue my good fortune today. Unfortunately I had to come and play politics with you." I allowed a smile to form on my lips.

"Then I apologise for spoiling your day."

We followed the crowd into the banquet hall where a buffet had been laid on. The guests were waiting for me to select my food first. I directed Brutus to go first and followed him. During the meal, Brutus and I circulated in different directions as we talked to the various guests. By the time I had exhausted my limited repertoire of small talk, a few guests, including Brutus, had already left. I decided to take my leave and escort Gabrielle back to my chamber and carry on from where we left off that morning.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked her.

"If it is your wish, My Liege."

I smiled as she played the dutiful courtier in front of the guests.

"It is my wish," I replied.

We left the banquet hall and headed for my chambers. As we passed the throne room, I remembered that I had left my sceptre on the throne.

"You carry on," I told Gabrielle. "I'll be there shortly."

Gabrielle headed for my chambers and I returned to the throne room. As I entered the anteroom, I could hear voices holding a whispered conversation. I recognised the voices as belonging to Brutus and Darnell. Why the ambassador and my general were holding a private talk in my throne room intrigued me. I silently crept closer and ducked into an alcove. From there I could see them and just about make out what they were saying.

"It's good to know who I can trust. Good allies are hard to find."

"To strong allies," said Brutus and held out his right arm.

Darnell grasped the offered forearm. "To strong allies," he repeated.

Brutus nodded and they went their separate ways, Brutus returning to the banquet hall via the connecting door and Darnell heading to the Council room. I didn't for one moment think they were celebrating Brutus' appointment. The only other explanation was that I would have to watch my back very carefully. I could've made my move then and there and had the pair executed, but I decided to wait and see what games they were going to play. As long as I was aware of their treachery, I had the upper hand.

I retrieved my sceptre and returned to my room to be greeted by the sight of Gabrielle lying by the fire drinking a goblet of wine. She looked at me and smiled.

"Does that feature in any of the plans you have for this afternoon?" asked Gabrielle.

I was baffled by her question. "What?"

She nodded at the sceptre in my hand. "That thing."

"No."

Gabrielle climbed to her feet and approached me. "Then why did you go and get it?" She took the sceptre from my hand and studied it. "It's still an ugly rock," she whispered and tossed it lightly on a nearby chair.

My eyes followed the sceptre: it was the symbol I had chosen to represent my power and she had tossed it aside like it was a piece of worthless junk. Deep inside I heard a distant voice cry out that she should be punished for such disrespect, but I'd long since learnt to ignore that voice where Gabrielle was concerned. I knew that she loved me, not the accoutrements of my power.

I felt her hand on my face and turned from the sceptre to look at her.

"You don't need it." She moved her hand and placed it over my heart. "This is where your power lies. And it's a beautiful thing."

My mind wandered back to the first day Gabrielle entered my camp and my life. Her spirit and enthusiasm captivated me even then. Over time, I came to rely on her simple wisdom, her honesty, and her love. As I had conquered Greece, she had conquered my heart. That first day she claimed we were fated to be together. I, however, believed that just like ruling the world, she was my destiny.

~~~~~