~ The Queen of Hearts ~
by Hellmouthguy

e-mail: hellmouthadmin@thehellmouthrevisited.com
my story archive can be found at: www.thehellmouthrevisited.com

Second novel in the Meant To Be series, sequel to: The New World.

Disclaimer: See Part 1.



Thirteen

THE HIGH PRIESTESS

Faith woke up naked in a bathtub. Everything smelled perfumey. She was covered with soapy bubble bath. Her hair was wet and it smelled like apples.

Her head didn't hurt anymore and her stomach felt good too; there was only a very slight pinching sensation there that she could easily ignore. Her right arm and her left ankle both felt numb, which was a big improvement on excruciating. But she didn't have any energy...she felt like a dried-out sponge.

The room wasn't spinning and it was in focus too so she looked around. She was in a nice, modern bathroom, with pretty, aqua-colored tile. The bathtub was big. She saw her right leg in the air. Everything seemed slow, somehow, like her head needed an extra couple of seconds to catch up with what her eyes were showing it. She only noticed things after she had already seen them and was looking at the next thing. She suddenly noticed that her right leg was in the air. She wondered why.

She followed her leg with her eyes. It was covered with ugly purple bruises. Eventually the leg led her to Buffy. Buffy was holding her leg up by the foot, and washing the foot with a soapy facecloth.

"Okay, uh...what?" Faith said.

"You needed a bath," Buffy said. "You had blood all over you, and I need to clean your wounds before I can put the bandages on. How's your pain?"

"B...?" Faith said.

Buffy smiled, and took her hand, and kissed it.

"Yeah, baby," she said. "It's Doctor Buffy. Wanna tell me how your pain's doing?"

"You're giving me a bath?" Faith said.

"Yeah," Buffy said. You needed your wounds cleaned. Now, third time's the charm. How's your pain?"

"Okay. I feel pretty good."

"Okay. I got you on morphine pills every four hours, so there's lots more nice sleepy numbness coming soon. Are you hungry?" Buffy gently lowered her leg and started washing her other foot.

"Yeah."

"Xander's cooking up a storm for you downstairs. Lots of good meat. We got steak and chicken cutlets, and lots of 'em. Meat loaf too, if you want Xander to heat it up. Plus corn, rice, mashed potatoes, and jelly donuts. And string beans if you insist, but we all hate string beans."

"I like string beans."

"Yeah, but we both know you only like them because I hate them."

"Probably," Faith said, and grinned. "This is...uh...kinda weird."

"Well, a broken arm and a broken ankle, you can't give yourself a bath," Buffy said.

"Yeah, but..."

"Faith, let me ask you a question. If I needed my wounds cleaned and I was too hurt to do it myself, would you do it for me? Would you give me a bath?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Buffy said, and put the facecloth down. "All nice and clean. I'm gonna lift you up and have you sit on the toilet while I dry you off, okay? Remember not to put any weight on your left ankle when you sit."

"Okay," Faith said. Buffy put a towel on the lid of the toilet bowl, and gently lifted Faith out of the tub, and sat her down on top of it. She took another towel from the cabinet above her, knelt down in front of Faith, and started gently drying her off, lightly dabbing the towel across her skin, careful not to aggravate her bruises. Most of them had gone from red to purple, now; they looked ugly but Buffy knew it was a good sign. She'd had her share of bruises before and she knew the bad ones always got a lot uglier as they healed up.

"Buffy," Faith said, as Buffy gently dried off her legs and feet, being very careful around the broken ankle.

"Yeah?" Buffy said.

"I love you," Faith said.

Buffy looked up at her, with a little tear in her eye, and smiled.

"I love you too," Buffy said, and kissed her.

"Guess who's coming to dinner?" Buffy said, as she carried Faith downstairs in a nightgown forty minutes later. Faith had bandages on her right foot and two of the fingers of her right hand. Her left ankle had a pressure bandage on it and an ice pack taped to it. Her right arm was supported by a sling around her neck, and it had a splint holding it in place.

"Hey, if it isn't my favorite Slayer!" Xander said, with that goofy giggle he had, turning away from the stove, where he was cooking up steaks. The room smelled like steak and chicken and corn and potatoes and once her head caught up to her eyes Faith realized this was because there was steak and chicken and corn and potatoes on the table, and she also realized she was absolutely ravenous. "Uh...second favorite," Xander said, as Buffy smiled at him. "Wait, co-favorite."

"She can be your favorite, Xander," Buffy said. "She's my favorite."

"I'm good with second favorite," Faith said.

"Hey sweetie," Willow said, and looked up from her laptop. The food was on the table all wrapped up in plastic wrap. Faith realized they had all been waiting for her to come down before they ate. "How you doin'?" Willow said, and smiled at her. "Is the pain all gone? Feelin' all, nice and mellow?"

"I'm feelin' pretty groovy, Will," Faith said. "My head's kinda stuck in neutral right now. Damn, that food smells good."

"Yup, she's a Slayer," Xander said. "How do you like your steak?"

"Bloody," Faith said.

"So does Buffy," Xander said. "Must be a Slayer thing. You like Worcestershire sauce?"

"Uh...what who sauce?" Faith said.

"It's this sauce that Xander insists on putting on all meat at all times," Buffy said, and sat Faith down at the table. "He won't cook unless I have it in the house for him."

"I don't put it on turkey," Xander said. "That would just be wrong."

"Long as it's a good hunk o' meat I'm good with however you wanna jazz it up, Xan Man," Faith said, eyeing the meat the way a lion eyes a gazelle.

"Okay, dig in," Buffy said. "I want you to get some food in you right now. "What's first?"

"Uh," Faith said, and tried to move her right arm toward her fork, before she remembered she couldn't.

"This is gonna be weird, I know," Buffy said. "I'm gonna have to cut your food for you. Just deal, okay? You'll be doing it yourself again soon."

"Uh...okay," Faith said. "Xander's gonna goof on me."

"Only when you're not around," Xander said.

"I'll kick his ass if he makes fun of you, okay sweetie?" Willow said.

"Take that threat very seriously," Xander said.

"Okay," Faith said.

"So what's first on the menu?" Buffy said. "Want some chicken cutlets? How about some cutlets and potatoes while Xander's finishing up your steak?"

"Sounds like a plan," Faith said. Buffy put two chicken cutlets and a big pile of potatoes on Faith's plate, and started cutting the meat for her.

"Brown gravy?" Buffy said.

"Yeah," Faith said.

"Look on the bright side," Buffy said, as she cut the meat and poured brown gravy on the potatoes. "You've got one good arm, at least you don't have to deal with me actually feeding you. I'd be all, 'Here comes the airplane...'"

"I'd kick that little butt," Faith said, and started eating.

"Would it be on like Donkey Kong?" Buffy said.

"You know it," Faith said. "Damn, Xan Man, you cook all this up? The way you did this breading is really sweet too."

"Yeah," he said. "I have my own recipe for the breading. You like?"

"Damn straight, guy," Faith said. "You can cook your butt off."

"Yeah, my parents were all about going out and leaving me to my own devices," Xander said. "Which mainly consisted of microwave dinners and pizza. I got tired of that after awhile and started learning to cook for myself." He put a bloody steak on a plate and set it down beside Faith. Buffy started cutting it up.

"'Rents fell down on the job a little, huh?" Faith said.

"Actually I don't think they even bothered showing up for work," Xander said, and sat down.

"I can relate, dude," Faith said. "You rocked these potatoes too."

"'Pihdaydiz'?" Xander said, and giggled. "What's that?"

"There he goes. Goofin' on me, huh?" Faith said.

"A little, Sarge," Xander said.

"You really rocked the po-tay-toes," Faith said. "How's that?"

"Keep sayin' 'pihdaydiz'," Xander said. "It's cute. But thanks. They're one of the first things I learned to cook. I likes me some mashed pihdaydiz."

"He's gonna make some lucky gal a fine wife someday," Willow said.

"And I never, ever get tired of that joke, honey," Xander said, and gave Willow a little peck on the cheek.

"Steak is served," Buffy said, and set the plate of pre-cut steak in front of Faith. She took a forkful and held it up in front of Faith's mouth. "Here comes the airplane..." Buffy said, with a big smile.

"I'm so gonna kick that little butt," Faith said, and let Buffy feed it to her.

"Hello? Worcestershire sauce!" Xander said, and grabbed the bottle of Worcestershire sauce from the middle of the table and started liberally sprinkling it on Faith's steak. "What is wrong with you people?"

"What if she doesn't like it?" Buffy said. "You're like, totally Worcestershire-izing her whole steak."

"Everyone likes it," Xander said.

"Maybe Xander's right," Buffy said, as she laid Faith down in her bed later. She took the ice pack off Faith's ankle, and put pillows under the ankle to keep it elevated. "Maybe the whole world really does like Worcestershire sauce."

"Works good on chicken cutlets too," Faith said, and watched Buffy move in her nightgown in the dark.

"I think even Xander was impressed when you did that," Buffy said. "I thought for a minute there you were gonna try some on your jelly donuts."

"Not gonna lie to ya, B," Faith said. "I was thinking about it."

Buffy checked the alarm clock by the bed. "Okay, time for your pills again," she said, and walked out of the room, and came back a moment later with a glass of water. She sat on the bed, took the bottle of morphine pills from the nightstand, and held out two pills to Faith. Faith took the pills, and drank the whole glass of water.

"Thirsty? Want more water?" Buffy said.

"A little," Faith said.

"Be right back." Buffy took the glass and walked out of the room, and came back a moment later with another glass of water.

"Don't worry, we got filters," Buffy said. "Our tap water's like the same deal as spring water now. Want some ice for it?"

"Nah, I'm good," Faith said, and drank some of the water, and put the glass down on the nightstand.

Buffy took off her nightgown and her bra, and got into bed with her. She gently brought Faith close to her, and Faith curled up against her breasts, as Buffy pulled the covers over her.

"Nice and warm under the covers, baby?" Buffy said, and put her arms around her, and held her close, and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah," Faith said. "I'm always warm when I'm with you."

Buffy ran her fingers through Faith's hair. They looked into each other's eyes, in the dark.

"I love you, Faith," Buffy said. "I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too," Faith said.

They kissed.

They were quiet. Faith leaned her head against Buffy's breasts, and Buffy caressed Faith's hair.

"I used to have to go to the hospital all the time when I was a kid," Faith said. "With my Mom. After she would kick the shit out of me. I'd have to...I'd have to make up stories. That's...why I don't like hospitals."

Buffy kissed her again, with tears in her eyes now.

"You're with me now, Faith," Buffy said. "I'll always protect you. I'm not gonna let anyone ever hurt you again. Not ever again, baby."

Faith nodded, and started to cry, and held on tight to her.

"You always...you always take care of me," Faith said.

"I always will," Buffy said. "You're my baby girl and I love you."

"I love you too," Faith said. "I want to take care of you too."

"Okay," Buffy said. "I'd like that."

They kissed for awhile, and looked into each other's eyes, with tears streaming down their cheeks.

"There's something...I need to tell you," Buffy said.

"Hope it's not too complicated," Faith said, and smiled. "I'm feelin' pretty mellow. I'm pumped full of morphine and Worcestershire sauce."

Buffy giggled, and kissed her. She kissed Faith's tears away.

Then she looked into her eyes again.

"I remember, Faith," Buffy said. "I remember our night."

"Our...our night?" Faith whispered, and searched Buffy's eyes.

"The night I loved you, baby," Buffy whispered, as her tears came faster. "She, she gave it back to me, baby. The Slayer gave it back to me."

"You...remember...?" Faith said.

"Every second," Buffy said, as Faith kissed her tears. "I remember loving you all night long, and holding you in my arms until the sun came up. I remember how you worshipped me, and then how you got scared when I took you, baby, and you cried. But we went slow, we went slow, and then you were okay, baby."

Faith nodded, and started crying again too.

"I was a virgin for you that night," Faith said. "You were my first. Those guys...the guys in Boston, they didn't, they didn't count. It was just you, Buffy. It was never anyone but you."

"They were never inside you, baby," Buffy said. "I'm the only one you ever let in."

"Because I love you," Faith said. "I love you, Buffy. You're my girl. You're my girl."

"And you're my ham girl," Buffy said, and smiled, and kissed Faith's hand.

Faith nodded, and giggled.

"When...did you remember?" Faith said.

"Tonight," Buffy said. "All of a sudden...I just...remembered. She gave it back to me."

Faith kissed Buffy's breasts.

"I wanted to tell you," Faith said. "But..."

"Now I know why you were acting all weird in the motel room after we woke up," Buffy said. "And, um, how the dildo got in my purse."

Faith giggled.

"The Slayer's sneaky," Faith said.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "I am."

"I want it again," Faith said. "Can we do that again?"

"Yeah," Buffy said. "My baby liked it, huh?"

Faith nodded. Buffy kissed her.

"When you're better, baby," Buffy said. "We'll do it again. Okay?"

Faith nodded again, and yawned.

"Pills kicking in," Buffy said. "You're a sleepy Slayer. You're my little sleepy kitten now."

"I'm all kinds of stuff," Faith said. "I'm your baby, and a kitten, and chocolate syrup..."

"You're my kitty-cat too."

"I'm a kitty-cat? Is that different from a kitten?"

"Kittens like cuddles, and little kisses," Buffy said, and smiled. "But kitty-cats like being kissed somewhere else."

"Kinda hard to choose now, but I think I'm kinda leanin' toward kitty-cat," Faith said, and caressed Buffy's breasts with her one good hand.

"You're high on morphine and Worcestershire sauce. And you're a sleepy Slayer, baby. Sleepy Slayers need to go to sleep."

"What about horny Slayers?"

"Horny Slayers need to go to sleep too."

"Damn," Faith said, and giggled again.

"Tomorrow, okay?" Buffy said, and kissed her again. "Tomorrow, if you follow Doctor Buffy's orders and you're feeling a little better? I'll give you a nice kiss there, okay baby?"

"Okay," Faith said, and yawned again. "Gonna hold you to that."

"You're my horny, sleepy Slayer, huh baby?" Buffy said.

Faith nodded. "I'm a bunch of stuff," she said. "A kitten and a kitty-cat, and chocolate syrup, and a horny, sleepy Slayer..."

"And my baby."

"And your baby. And your ham girl."

"And the most beautiful girl in the world. And a lion. And my cub."

"It's cool," Faith said, and smiled, and kissed her. "I can be all those things. I'm gonna be whatever you want me to be."

"Just be you, okay?" Buffy said. "I just want you to be you. You're the girl I fell in love with, just the way you are."

Faith nodded. "You're just one thing," she said.

"Yeah?" Buffy said. "What's that?"

"My girl," Faith said, and kissed her again.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "And I don't want to ever be anything else, baby."

They kissed for awhile longer. Faith felt sluggish now, like every part of her was slowing down; she knew the morphine was working through her system and she would be asleep soon. But she felt warm, too.

Faith suddenly noticed the ceiling. It was covered with little white spots. "Hey, what's all that stuff up there?" she said, pointing up at it.

"Glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars," Buffy said.

"What in the what what?" Faith said, and squinted up at the ceiling. It was hard to concentrate, and the ceiling was becoming blurry and insubstantial now.

"Stick-on stars," Buffy said. "They're these things you put on your ceiling, and when you turn off the lights they get all glowy and look like stars, like you're looking up at the sky. They're kinda lame and girly. I need to take 'em down."

How long have they been up there?"

"Since we bought the place. I used to have them in my room in Los Angeles too. You're just noticing them now? You've been here a bunch of times."

"I was always too busy looking at you, beautiful," Faith said, and snuggled up against Buffy's breasts.

Buffy kissed her hair, and held her tight.

"Kinda like the stars," Faith said. Just...y'know...maybe...jazz 'em up."

"Jazz them up?" Buffy said. "How?"

She heard Faith snoring softly.

"Go to sleep, kitty-cat," Buffy whispered. "We'll jazz up the galaxy another time."

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Willow said.

They were in Buffy's mother's bedroom. It was a nice big bedroom, neat, with a deep rug and a king-sized bed; it smelled like Joyce's perfume. But Xander still felt a little uncomfortable in there. Sleeping in Buffy's mother's bed was something he never thought he'd do, except in that one fantasy he'd had involving him being the captain of the football team and Joyce spilling a martini on her shirt and having to change, and then Xander's shoulders hurt from breaking all those tackles on his way to running in the winning touchdown, and Joyce asked him if he wanted a massage. But Buffy had pointed out that she and Faith were going to be using her bed and that the bed in the spare room was going to be Faith's once her mother came back from vacation and that Slayers had a great sense of smell and Faith might not appreciate the spare room smelling like Willow and Xander boinking. "So just take my Mom's room," Buffy had said. "And don't be too gross," she had added, and walked away, giggling.

Willow stood in front of Xander with her arms folded across her chest. He sat on the bed in his tee-shirt and sweatpants. Willow was wearing her cow pajamas that made her look like the most adorable thing on planet Earth and she was doing the scowly face. Xander knew Willow was doing the scowly face to signal to him that everything was going to be okay and she wouldn't be angry at him forever. But there was real hurt underneath, and Xander saw it...

Mostly, it was in her eyes. They were moist, and very bright.

"Okay," Xander said.

She walked away from him. "Do you still...still like Buffy?" Willow said. "Like, have a crush on her?"

"No," Xander said.

"What about Cordelia?" Willow said, with her back turned to him. "Or Faith? Or all the, y'know, like, bajillion other girls you're always noticing?"

"Not a bajillion," Xander said. "More like a gazillion. A gazillion is less than a bajillion."

She stood, facing away from him, looking at the wall.

He got up and put his arms around her.

"Will...you're the only girl I want," he said. "Yeah, okay, there are pretty girls out there and I notice them. It's that damn Y chromosome. But I hope I'm not too obnoxious about it. And I don't want those other girls. I want you."

"You're not obnoxious about it anymore," Willow said. "Once we started dating you stopped being obnoxious about it. Except for Katie Holmes."

"Special case, celebrities don't count. I get Katie, you get Van Der Beek. We get one celebrity each."

Willow nodded, but she still didn't turn around...still didn't look at him.

He turned her around, and kissed her.

"Look, cowgirl," Xander said. "Yeah, there are pretty girls out there. There are funny girls out there, and smart girls out there, and sweet girls out there. But you're the whole package. All those girls? Buffy and Faith, and Cordelia? They're great...okay, Cordelia, maybe not so great...but If I dated any of them they'd all be a step down from you."

"Yeah, right," Willow said, and chuckled, without mirth. "They're not a step down. They're like three steps up. They're all like, fabulous and hot and... y'know...they...wear great shoes and..."

"Okay," Xander said. "Now I'm gonna kick your ass."

"Yeah?" Willow said.

"Willow, this thing? This thing you have where you're the only person in the world who doesn't see how awesome you are? How pretty, and smart, and funny, and sweet you are? I can't get you past it. You gotta work it out yourself. All I can do? Is keep telling you how much I love you...keep showing you how much I love you. But you're gonna have to do the work. You get nervous when I mention other girls because you think I'm looking to trade up. But I've already got the most kick-ass car on the lot and any of those other ones are trading down."

She looked away from him, down at the floor. He lifted her chin up, and looked at her.

"You always do that thing, where you brush your teeth in perfect circles like the dentist told you, even though everyone else in the world just brushes up and down," Xander said. "You loop your hair around your fingers when you're nervous, and you tell dirty jokes sometimes and then you do your big goofy gigantically loud laugh that sounds like a fire drill. You always cut the crust off bread and you still get all emotional when A Charlie Brown Christmas is on. You get scared sometimes when we're helping Buffy, but you keep insisting on helping anyway. I need all those things, Willow, and I only get them from you."

"Yeah?" she said, and smiled, just a little.

"You're a big pervert too," Xander said. "And you wear cow pajamas and you do the scowly face and you listen to that weird non-danceable British music. I need all those things."

She hugged him.

Then she looked up at him, and smiled.

"I think you especially need the pervert part," she said, and touched his leg. "Are you at attention, soldier? Wait, what was your rank again? Y'know, the military guy memories rank? I keep forgetting."

"Specialist," Xander said.

"And what did you specialize in?" she said, and kissed him, and giggled.

"Guns," Xander said, as Willow pulled down his sweatpants.

"Oh, yeah?" she said, and pulled his boxers down, and took him in her hand. He moaned. "And what did you do with them?"

"Put them...together...like...assembled them. Uh...fired them..."

"I'm assembling one too," she said, as she stroked him. "It keeps on getting bigger, the more I assemble it. It's like twice as big as it was just a second ago. It's all, y'know, getting assembled."

"You're an awesome specialist," Xander said.

"Feels like my gun's all assembled and ready to shoot," she said, and kissed him again. "And I even did it with one hand."

She led him to the bed, took off her pajamas, sat him down, and knelt in front of him.

"I have another specialty," she said, and looked up at him, and smiled. "And I bet I do it so much better than Cordy."

"I'd love to see a demonstration of this specialty," Xander said. "For military...uh...purposes."

She giggled.

"Yes, sir," she whispered, and took him in her mouth.

After Faith fell asleep, Buffy finally allowed herself to feel the thing she had been afraid of...the thing she had been pretending wasn't there.

She wondered if Faith would leave her. She wondered if this would be their last night together. She would have to tell Faith about Angel the next day...

...And she wondered if she would lose her.

Buffy had been thinking about it for awhile now. She looked over at the alarm clock. It was nearly four. Faith had been asleep for hours. Buffy hadn't slept. She had spent the time thinking...and cherishing every moment. If this was her last night with Faith, she was going to experience all of it. She wasn't going to let herself sleep.

She kissed Faith's forehead. She'd been kissing her, in her sleep; she'd been covering Faith's face in soft little kisses for hours now.

She listened to Faith's breathing. Faith snored a little, softly. Buffy liked the sound. She could hear Faith's heartbeat, when she reached out with her senses. She listened to it. It was strong and slow and steady.

She took in Faith's scent. Like peaches...with a hint of muskiness underneath.

"I love you, Faith," Buffy whispered. "If this is it for us? It was still worth it, baby. It was still worth it."

Another scent suddenly came to her: strawberries...Willow.

There was a gentle knock at the door, and Willow walked into the room, in her cow pajamas.

"Hey," Willow whispered. "Um...you awake?"

"Yeah," Buffy whispered.

Buffy suddenly realized her breasts were exposed. She blushed, and tried to pull the covers up. But it was difficult to bring the covers up over herself, because Faith's head was resting on her breasts, and Buffy didn't want to move her. She knew Faith liked sleeping that way. And Buffy liked her sleeping that way, too. She settled for covering her breasts with her free hand. She hoped Willow didn't notice her blushing in the dark.

Willow sat on the edge of the bed, and smiled.

"Relax, girlfriend," Willow said, softly, and caressed Faith's hair. "Seen the bodacious ta-ta's before. How's she doing?"

"Morphine nuked her pain," Buffy whispered. "She's tired, but she's healing up."

"Yeah. She's strong."

"Um...so what's up?"

"We need to talk. It's important."

"What...now?"

"Yeah. In private. Just me and you. Downstairs."

Buffy didn't want to. She didn't want to leave Faith alone. She didn't want to miss a moment...because she didn't know how many moments they had left...

"She'll still be here when you get back, y'know," Willow said, and smiled. "No one's gonna steal her. Well, Xander might, but he's all tired out right now."

"Okay," Buffy said.

"Meet me downstairs," Willow said, and got up and walked to the door.

Then she turned, and looked back at Buffy.

"You can throw some clothes on if you want," Willow said, and smiled.

Five minutes later, they sat at the kitchen table together.

"So what's up?" Buffy said.

"There's something I gotta tell you," Willow said. "And before I tell you? I just want to say...I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, Buffy. But it happened and there's nothing we can do about it so...um...we just gotta deal."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing to you," Buffy said, and looked down at the table. "After what Angelus did to you...I wouldn't blame you if you walked out of my life forever."

"Hey," Willow said

Buffy looked up at her. Willow took her hand.

"Never happen," Willow said, and looked in her eyes. "You read me, girlfriend? That's never gonna happen. Got it?"

Buffy nodded. There was something strange in Willow's voice... something different...

Willow kissed her hand.

After she did it, Buffy noticed something strange in Willow's eyes, too... Willow looked surprised, for a second. She let Buffy's hand go, and blushed.

"Um...yeah, so...um..." Willow said. "So we gotta talk."

"Will...are you okay?" Buffy said.

"That's kinda hard to answer right now. Look...I don't really know exactly how to tell you this so I'm just gonna tell you. It's...about Faith."

"What? What about her?"

"In the car. When I took her hand, and got inside her head, to see how bad she was hurt? Something...went wrong."

"What?" Buffy said, and sat up straight. "Is she...?"

"No, nothing like that, you don't have to worry, sweetie," Willow said. "There's nothing wrong with Faith."

Buffy relaxed.

"Then...what is it?" Buffy said. "What are you telling me?"

"When I got inside Faith's head, I was, y'know, looking around, trying to find where she was hurt," Willow said. "I've done it before. I did it for Giles that time, when Angelus and Dru tortured him...I know how to do it. But...with Faith... something happened."

"What happened?"

"Her memories...you know I can read people's memories too, when I want. Well...I didn't mean to but...her memories just...came at me. And..."

"You...read her memories? How much of them? Which ones?"

"All of them," Willow said. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't want that to happen. I still don't know how it did...I wasn't trying to read her memories..."

"So like...you know...everything Faith knows?" Buffy said. "Everything?"

"Yeah," Willow said,

Buffy's face turned red.

Willow took Buffy's hand. "I know, Buffy," Willow said. "I know...how you feel about me. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Buffy nodded, and looked down at the table.

"Hey," Willow said, softly. "Hey, beautiful. Look at me."

Buffy looked up at her.

"If I liked girls? If I was...that way?" Willow said, and smiled. "I would've been with you, Buffy. We would've been together."

Willow's voice had that strange quality again...Buffy couldn't put her finger on it...couldn't figure out exactly why she sounded different. It was Willow's voice, but...it was different...

Then, it hit her. Buffy knew what it was...she knew what was different.

Willow was speaking with a Boston accent.

"You belong with Xander anyway," Buffy said. "He makes you happy."

"And you belong with Faith," Willow said. "But...Buffy...there's more. I didn't just read Faith's memories. I..."

"You...what?"

"It was like...what happened with Dru," Willow said. "Dru did it to me on purpose, because she was stronger than me and she was able to hypnotize me. She was able to control me, direct me. But, Faith...I think with her it was maybe because she's a Slayer, and her mind is just so much more powerful than a regular person's...I just wasn't prepared for it. She overwhelmed me...she didn't do it on purpose, but it was like I...got lost...like I lost myself. I thought I was her, Buffy. I couldn't find where she ended and I began anymore and...I got lost in her...and I lived her memories. I lived her life. As if it was happening to me."

"How...how much of it...?" Buffy whispered.

"All of it," Willow said. "Every second of every day, up to tonight in the car. Everything that ever happened to her, every single thing...it happened to me."

Willow started to cry.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Buffy," Willow whispered. "I didn't mean to. I didn't...I don't know...how it happened..."

Buffy got up, and hugged her. She kissed Willow's cheek, and caressed her hair. Willow hugged her back, and rested her head against Buffy's breasts.

"It's okay, Will," Buffy said. "It's not your fault. I asked you to do it, remember? I'm the one to blame here, not you."

"No one's to blame," Willow said, and wiped her tears away. "It happened and we just gotta deal. We gotta deal and move on. I just...thought you should know. Because of you and Faith...I mean...um...you guys are...a couple now, and you get...y'know...snuggly."

Buffy sat down again, and leaned back in the chair.

She blushed.

Willow grinned.

Buffy grinned too...and closed her eyes, and held her head in her hands.

"Oh, God, so how was I?" Buffy finally said. "Just tell me."

Willow raised her eyebrow.

"Well...let's just say that, okay, yeah, I don't like girls?" Willow said. "But...after getting all those memories in the car tonight I seriously considered switching teams."

"Hot Buffy lovin'," Buffy said. "See what you missed out on?"

They giggled together.

"Xander and I like, y'know, have sex?" Willow said. "And it's neat? But...you and Faith...? Can I just say, um...wow? Yeah...I think I'm just gonna leave it at 'wow'."

"You're making me blush," Buffy said, and looked up at her. Buffy's face was red. "See? See me blushing?"

"Faith really loves you, y'know. She loves you so much, Buffy."

"Yeah?" Buffy said, and smiled.

"Yeah," Willow said, and squeezed her hand.

"So...um...you...lived Faith's life. All of it. You didn't just find out stuff in Faith's head. You experienced it all. Just so we're clear, that's what you're telling me, right?"

"Yeah. Like...okay, just so you understand? Remember that night we were...um...I mean you and Faith were in the ice cream place by the beach? And like, you ordered a dish of vanilla ice cream because that's what you always get and Faith ordered like this huge monster chocolate sundae with M&M's and peanuts and jimmies and lots of extra whip cream and hot fudge?"

"Yeah."

"And then she was eating her kick-ass sundae and you were eating your really sad little dish of vanilla ice cream and I was...Faith was making fun of you for ordering vanilla and then you said, 'taste', and you guys kissed? I remember how it tasted. With the vanilla ice cream, plus your lipstick tasting kinda like, cherry-flavored. I remember you slipping your tongue in my mouth as we kissed, with some vanilla ice cream on it, so I could taste the vanilla. I can still taste it now, on my tongue, when I think about it...vanilla, with just a little hint of cherry. So...yeah. I don't just know what happened to Faith. Like, it's not just information. I experienced the stuff that happened to her. I experienced it all."

"And again with the blushing," Buffy said, and blushed.

"Sorry," Willow said. "But...yeah. It all happened to me. I mean, yeah, okay, I know I wasn't really there, I know those things didn't really literally happen to me, but I remember them all happening to me. I remember when we... you and Faith first met. I remember how you smelled, and the like, tingly feeling Faith got in her stomach. I remember us slaying together. I remember that vampire girl, Chanterelle, and the fight you and Faith had because of her. I remember eating Joyce's meat loaf." Willow smiled. "Joyce's meat loaf is good, by the way. You should stop making fun of it. But the thing is I remember all that stuff, all the sensations, the way stuff smelled, or felt, or sounded, or tasted, all Faith's thoughts and feelings...I remember all of it like it happened to me. So I guess, when you look at it in a certain way, it all did happen to me. I mean, what's reality but a bunch of perceptions, right?"

"You're obviously out of touch with reality if you like my Mom's meat loaf."

"Her chicken's good too. And those chocolate chip cookies? Awesome."

"Can I...ask you a question?"

"You want to know about Faith. You want to start asking me about stuff...stuff you don't know about her."

"Yeah. Is this...awkward? Am I being...I don't know...maybe I shouldn't be asking?"

"It's okay. I know you're asking because you love her, Buffy."

"Yeah. And there's just...so much I don't know about her. I mean it's not like I'm suspicious? I just...want to know her. I want to know what her life was like...I want to know about the stuff she did, who she was with, who she loved."

"She loved Becca. More than anything in the world."

"What was Rebecca like? Faith told me about her, but..."

"She was warm. She was strong. She had...the most beautiful eyes. Deep, dark blue...they reminded me...reminded Faith...of the ocean. Becca found me in an alley. Some vamps had just kicked the shit out of me. I didn't know from vamps back then, I didn't know what the hell was happenin', y'know?"

Willow was speaking with a Boston accent again. Buffy nodded, and took her hand.

"Anyway...they gave me a beat down, these four asshole vamp guys, and then they tossed me in the alley. I was...I wanted to die. I was always cold, those days...always shiverin'. All skin and bones, always tryin' to get some food in my belly. And...I couldn't do it anymore. Lyin' in that alley where they threw me, in that pile of garbage...I wanted to die. Then Becca found me. She saved me. She..."

Tears filled Willow's eyes.

"Becca...she always took care of me, y'know?" Willow said. "She always believed in me, when no one else did, when I didn't believe in myself either. I loved her. I loved her and she..."

Willow started to cry.

"I loved her," Willow whispered.

Buffy got up, and hugged her again.

"Oh, God, oh god..." Willow whispered, and held her head in her hands, and cried. "I miss her, Buffy. I miss her so much...every second. I miss her every second. I loved her. I loved her and she's gone. She was so warm and...I always feel cold now."

Willow leaned her head against Buffy's breasts, and hugged her with all her strength.

"I'm gonna keep you warm, baby," Buffy whispered, with tears in her eyes now.

Willow nodded, and held on to Buffy. They stayed like that, silently, for a little while.

"Will," Buffy finally said. "I know...you have those memories. I know you feel like you lived Faith's life. But...you're not Faith. You're Willow. You have to...you have to hold onto that, baby. You have to hold onto that....you have to hold onto yourself."

Willow looked up at her.

Willow was still crying...but she was smiling now.

"I know," Willow said. "I'm...still trying to find my balance with this. It's gonna take time. And...especially around you...it's...hard. When I see you...Faith just...kind of comes out in me."

"It'll get better," Buffy said. "You're strong, Will. You'll figure this out. You'll deal."

Willow nodded again. Buffy leaned down, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Willow," Buffy said. "I'll always be here for you. I'm with Faith, but I'll always take care of you too, baby. I won't ever let you feel cold. I'll always keep you warm. Always. Okay?"

A moment passed between them. They looked in each other's eyes...

Willow took Buffy's hand, and brought her closer...so their lips were almost touching.

"Willow," Buffy whispered, and caressed her hair. "This...isn't you. It's Faith. Remember yourself. Remember who you are. Remember who you love. Remember Xander."

"You're in love with me," Willow whispered. "You're still in love with me. Faith could tell, when you guys were talking together yesterday. She could tell you still love me."

Tears fell down Buffy's cheeks.

"I love you too," Willow said.

"As...as a friend," Buffy said. "You love me as like...a friend. A sister. Everything else...it's Faith."

"Yeah, it's...it's Faith," Willow said. "But...I lived her life, Buffy. I...I lived a life where I love you...where I want...I want you so much..."

Willow ran her hands up and down Buffy's hips.

Willow was wet between her legs. Buffy could smell it...

"Yesterday in the motel...when you made love to me...it was the best day of my life," Willow whispered.

Buffy felt like she was on the edge of a cliff...

And then Willow smiled again, and looked up into her eyes.

"But it wasn't my life," Willow said. "It was Faith's."

Buffy nodded.

"I have a philosophy," Willow said. "Wanna hear it, sweetie?"

"Um, sure," Buffy said.

Willow wiped Buffy's tears away, and kissed her cheek.

"Becca's always right," Willow said.

"Becca's always right?" Buffy said. "Well, it's easy to remember."

"And it's true," Willow said, and got up, and went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of Sprite. She moved to the cabinets, and pulled down two glasses. Then she came back to the table, and poured one for each of them.

"Sit," Willow said.

Buffy sat back down.

"Becca always said lies complicate things, they make things harder," Willow said, and sat across from Buffy, and they both drank their Sprites. "She said the truth is always best because the truth is simple. I want you, Buffy. Sure, it's because of Faith's memories that I want you but I still do. I want you to sleep with me again. I want you...the way it was yesterday. But if we did that? We'd have to lie. Because you love Faith, and I love Xander...and we'd have to lie to them. And Becca doesn't want me telling lies. So...I'm...I'm not gonna."

"Okay," Buffy said. "Good. Because...Faith's the love of my life? But that doesn't mean you can't get me all hot and bothered, strawberry girl."

They giggled, and finished their Sprites. Buffy poured them two more.

"We could use some booze in this," Buffy said, and shook her head, and grinned. "This has been a hell of a night."

"You know about parallel universes?" Willow said.

"Um...you sure there isn't already booze in yours?" Buffy said.

"Humor me," Willow said. "Parallel universes. Know what they are?"

"Um...some Star Trek thing maybe?"

"Yeah, but there's real science behind it. Quantum probability says that for every decision we make, every event that occurs, every possible outcome happens. Like...you flip a coin, right? And it comes up heads."

"Yeah...so?"

"It also comes up tails...somewhere else."

"Somewhere else?"

"In another universe. According to quantum physics there's an infinite number of universes out there, and maybe an infinite number of us too. Infinite Buffys, infinite Willows...each with a life that's maybe just a tiny bit different. So like, maybe there's a universe out there where...I don't know...the Soviet Union fell, or Clinton beat Gingrich and got a second term, or Cordy's actually nice."

"There are no universes where Cordy's nice."

"There's a universe where you and I are together, Buffy," Willow said, and took her hand. "I know there is. I know it. But...it's just...not this one. Some things are meant to be...and some things...

"Aren't," Buffy said.

"But I'll always love you, Buffy," Willow said.

"I'll always love you too, Will," Buffy said.

Willow kissed Buffy's hand, then blushed again.

"Um...sorry," Willow said, and smiled. "Last time I do that, I promise."

"It's okay," Buffy said. "Rebecca...she sounds really awesome."

"She was," Willow said. "I loved her. And I miss her. It feels like...being without her feels like...I've got a hole in me. Yeah, I know...it was Faith's life, but...I mean...you know my Mom, Buffy. You know what she's like. You know... she and I aren't really close. I sleep over your house a lot because I like it better here than my house, I like Joyce better than my Mom."

"My Mom likes you too," Buffy said. "You know you're always welcome here."

"Yeah. And Becca...she was the Mom I wish I had. She was strong and she cared about me and she actually paid attention to me. Like, she paid attention to the little things. She cared enough to care about the small stuff. Like, she didn't want me swearing. She didn't want me eating McDonalds food because it's bad for me. She gave me a one o'clock curfew. Little things like that. My Mom never gave me a curfew, she never even noticed I was gone. I mean, I'm out in a cemetery with you until like three in the morning and my Mom doesn't bat an eye. At least Joyce always worries about you. My Mom, she couldn't care less if I swear, she couldn't care less about the way I act, as long as I'm like, espousing the right political views. I know it might sound like Becca was a little controlling? But it was really just the opposite. She laid down some rules, and then trusted me to follow them. She never once checked up on me. My Mom never laid down any rules because she doesn't care, but she still doesn't trust me either...she doesn't trust me to not screw up my life. Becca gave me rules but she gave me responsibility too. My Mom would never give me responsibility for anything."

"Somehow, you're actually managing to get me to think someone who insists we get home by one is really cool. Must be magic."

"You and Becca...now that would have been interesting," Willow said, and grinned. "You've got it easy with Giles."

"Immovable object, meet irresistible force?" Buffy said, and grinned back.

"Yup. Anyway...you wanna know how I really see Becca? She did this tarot reading for me...um, for Faith...a couple months back. Faith asked about love...if the right person was out there for her..."

"Does Rebecca have scary Willow-level one-hundred percent always perfectly accurate tarot skills?"

"Looking back over that reading in my head? Yeah, she does. Anyway..."

"What...was the verdict? On...um...Faith's love life? What did the cards say? Do you remember?"

"That Faith would meet a queen...a queen of cups."

"Last month, Faith gave me a dozen roses," Buffy said, and smiled. "When she gave them to me, she called me her queen. You said when you read me before that I'm a cup, right?"

"Yeah," Willow said...and decided she wouldn't tell Buffy about the tarot reading Tara had done for Faith the week before. "Yeah. You're my cup, Xander's my pentacle. I'm a sword. And now that Faith's here, the four of us are a complete set. Faith's my wand. We cover all the suits now. But anyway...Becca came up in the reading. Faith didn't know about tarot cards, but I do, and looking back on that reading...the cards described Becca perfectly. She was the High Priestess. She was wise, and strong, and beautiful. She led Faith to self-knowledge, revealed hidden mysteries...she represented unlimited possibilities. That's what Becca was to me...she was my High Priestess."

Willow had tears in her eyes again.

"I love her, Buffy," Willow said. "I always will. And I miss her."

Willow took a deep breath, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Okay," Willow said. "So um, where were we before all this drama came up? It's getting late. If we don't get back up there soon Xander might steal Faith."

"I was gonna ask you stuff about Faith...if...that's okay," Buffy said.

"Yeah. But look...I've thought about this. I knew you'd want to know stuff and I had to decide what to do...so I came up with some rules."

"Rules?"

"It's not fair that you get like, a back door to all Faith's secrets. I know you don't mean it in a bad way, Buffy, I know it's just because you care about her. But it's still not fair that you could find out anything you want about Faith without even having to ask her. So, rules. Or, one rule. The rule is, I'm not gonna tell you anything...after tonight, I'm not gonna tell you anything."

"After tonight?"

"There's stuff...stuff you should know. Not bad stuff. Just...stuff. The thing is, I care about both of you guys and I really want you to work. But you can both be...stubborn. You almost broke up before. It could happen again if you guys aren't careful. I mean, you guys? You're like a perfect match for each other, in every way. But not just in the good ways, in some bad ways too. You keep secrets, Buffy. You keep secrets, because you think you have to be strong all the time and handle things yourself and other people wouldn't understand. And Faith? She has a hard time trusting people. Can you see the potential for hurting each other there? So yeah, you guys are great together? But you can hurt each other too. You could lose each other."

"I know," Buffy said. "We...talked about it yesterday. In Faith's motel. Um...I guess you remember that?"

"The game I made up," Willow said, and raised her eyebrow, and grinned. "'Confessions'. Yeah, I remember. Shit, girlfriend, kinda hard not to. Yesterday was a damn wild day."

Buffy grinned.

"Um...I'm talking like Faith again, aren't I?" Willow said.

"With the accent and everything," Buffy said. "You're all like, pahking your cah in Hahvahd yahd. You kinda go back and forth with it."

"It's you. Being around you...it's...like I sort of forget myself, sometimes. Everything's just so strange now. It's like, every situation I'm in now, I've got two possible responses to it. Like, there's the Willow response and the Faith response? And I kinda forget myself sometimes, and I pick the Faith response. I kinda...see things the way Faith would see them sometimes. It's hard, around you. Whenever I'm with you now, I keep thinking like Faith. I have to... remind myself that I'm Willow sometimes, especially when I'm with you. But, anyway...there's stuff you need to know. And these are the only things I'm gonna tell you. After tonight, don't ask me about Faith's private stuff. I won't tell you."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna tell Faith tomorrow that I have her memories, Buffy. It isn't fair that I have like, her whole life and I know every single thing about her, and I won't try to keep it a secret from her. It'll make things a little awkward between Faith and me maybe but she has to know. I won't keep this from her."

"Yeah, I get that. But she likes you, Willow. You know that, right? That Faith really likes you?"

"Yeah," Willow said, and smiled. "I know. It's funny. I'm like just... y'know, Willow, right? All like, nice and cute and stuff?"

"You're my strawberry girl," Buffy said.

"Yup, that's me. Well...Faith...she was intimidated by me. Not when we first met, but after she got to know me a little. I've got like, my laptop, and my math geek talk and my early acceptance to Harvard and Oxford and it all just sent Faith running for the hills. She still liked me? But...she didn't know how to act around me anymore. She couldn't just be herself around me anymore. She thinks she's dumb. She still does, y'know. I know she told you she's gonna stop thinking she's dumb yesterday in the motel but saying it and doing it are two different things. It's gonna take time and hard work. She'll need your help."

"Got time. Willing to put in the work. I love her."

"Good. Anyway...okay. I'm gonna tell you some things now. Not too many things. Just a few...just some stuff you need to know. Ready?"

"Yeah."

"First: she loves you, Buffy. She'd die for you. But she's worried you'll leave her."

"I won't leave her."

"Becca did. She didn't leave, but...she died. You think you know how much that hurt Faith, but you don't. You don't understand. You can't, until something like that happens to you. And then Faith had to walk away from Evan too. So now she's afraid...afraid that she'll lose you too, because she lost them."

"She won't. What was...what was Evan like?"

Willow smiled.

"Hot," she said. "Hot, hot, hot. Told goofy jokes. Best butt ever. I mean, I have all these memories now...of, um...gettin' all, y'know, snuggly with you? And Buffy, seriously, you are hell on wheels in the bedroom. I think you could turn a straight girl gay at a hundred paces."

"Oh my God," Buffy said, and smiled, and blushed, and held her head in her hands. "And again with the blushing."

"Welcome to my world of continual blushing whenever I think about you now," Willow said. "So anyway I just thank God for the Evan memories? Because thinking about his hotness reminds I'm hetero. He and Faith didn't do anything, except kiss, on their last day? But he talked to Faith. He didn't see her as just a piece of meat like everyone else did. Faith...had a hard time with guys. She ran away from home because her Mom beat her, and then she was on the street. People tried to take advantage of her. Guys looked at her and...you know how guys can think. Anyway, Ev wasn't like that. They just hung out. He was her first friend, Buffy. The first friend she ever had in her life. He made her feel good about herself...like she was more than just some hot girl. Like she mattered for who she was, not just for how hot she was."

"Does she...still love him?" Buffy said.

"Yeah. Always will. But not the way she loves you. If she had to choose? If Ev was here now and Faith had to choose? She'd choose you. Okay, sweetie?"

"Okay."

"Buffy...we're all Faith's got. Her mother beat her and she never even met her father, and Becca and Ev are gone. We're Faith's family now."

"I know."

"You don't know. You and Faith are lovers. But she needs more than that. She needs a family. She needs friends. We have to be careful with her, Buffy. We could still lose her. She has a hard time trusting people. She trusts us now? But... we almost lost her because you lied to her. Yup, okay, she was being stubborn? And it wasn't all your fault? But if you lie to Faith again we could lose her."

"I know. I know I almost lost her...and it's why I've decided, no more secrets. I'm telling Faith everything tomorrow. Everything about Angel. And... we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll lose her anyway."

"You won't, Buffy."

"Are you sure?" Buffy said, with tears in her eyes now. "Because...I'm not, Willow. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that...she'll leave me tomorrow."

"What Faith said in that alley, the night she met Chanterelle," Willow said. "How she said being with a vampire would be disgusting. How she'd never lower herself like that. You never forgot that, did you?"

"She was right."

"Faith hasn't seen the things you've seen. The thing with Angel...she never really experienced anything like that. To Faith, vampires are all basically the same. The one exception was a female vampire Faith ran into, who had a boyfriend she loved..."

"Emily."

"Yeah. After Emily, Faith got confused. She was trying to sort things out...and then Kakistos happened. After that, Faith decided she'd kill every vampire she met, but just the fact that Emily had her thinking about stuff...I think she might be able to have an open mind about Angel. But...if you tell her all the stuff Angel did she's gonna want to kill him."

"I know. But I have to tell her."

"Yup. You do. Remember my philosophy? Becca's always right. Faith will want to kill Angel...and she might try. Even if we tell her not to, she might still try. But she won't leave you, Buffy. She won't. As long as she knows she's your choice and not Angel, and you don't ever go behind her back to see him again, she'll stay with you."

Buffy shook her head. "I don't know what I was thinking," she said. "I almost screwed it all up, doing that."

"You have no idea, Buffy," Willow said, and looked down at the table. "You have no idea what you almost did...what almost happened because you decided to lie."

"What...do you mean?" Buffy said.

Willow looked at her.

"Lets just say...you got lucky," Willow said. "We all did. There's someone out there...someone we should be thanking. If it weren't for her? We would have lost Faith, Buffy. She'd be gone now."

"Her?" Buffy said.

"The last thing you need to know about. Tara."

"Tara? Faith...saw another girl?"

"The night Faith refused to stay at your house. Remember that?"

"Yeah."

"You were fed up with how Faith was acting...with how she kept blowing us off. Of course you didn't know then that she'd seen you with Angel...that really, this was just all your lies coming back to bite you in the ass."

Buffy nodded. Her face was red.

"Buffy, I'm sorry," Willow said. "But look, I care about you guys, I want you to work? And you need to understand that you almost wrecked it. So yeah, I'm bein' like, a big ol' meanie to you now a little? But it's because I want you to understand. This isn't like you and Angel, where you could both keep things from each other and hurt each other all the time and you could both keep coming back. Angel's tough, he can deal and keep coming back. But Faith's fragile. Yeah, sure, she's all a kick-butt Slayer but when it comes to dealing with people, with new relationships, she gets afraid sometimes. She thinks she's dumb and she thinks all she has to offer is her body and she's always afraid people will take advantage of her, or if she does find someone nice out there, that she'll lose them. You can't take chances with her, Buffy, you can't lie to her. Angel's been around for centuries, he understands people. Faith doesn't."

"I won't lie to her again," Buffy said.

"Okay," Willow said, and smiled. "Sorry I was mean."

"Someone should've been mean to me a long time ago," Buffy said. "Tell me about Tara."

"When you kicked Faith out of your house and told her maybe she should go back to Boston? That was a hard night for Faith. But then she met Tara. Tara was there for her, when she needed someone. Faith went to her place, and Tara made her lasagna and they played Super Mario. And, um, smoked a few joints."

"Faith smoked a joint? Seriously?"

"It was her first time. And she really, really needed it."

"She liked it?"

"Yeah."

"Faith's gonna absolutely love hanging with you then," Buffy said, and grinned.

"Well, um...anyway..." Willow said. "So yeah, Faith was having a rough night. She thought she lost you, Buffy. She thought you didn't want her anymore...that you didn't care about her. She knows how you feel about me and then she found out about Angel and she just figured...there was no room for her. No room for her in your heart."

"My heart's only for her now," Buffy said. "Faith gets all of it."

"Good," Willow said, and smiled. "So, yeah, rough night for Faith? But Tara got her through it. Faith slept over her house, and..."

"Faith slept over?"

"Buffy...I won't lie to you. Faith has feelings for Tara. She cares about her. But they didn't sleep together, Faith would never cheat on you. She and Tara are close friends, that's all. Tara's like...her Willow."

"Can't you be Faith's Willow?"

"The thing is...? Faith has decided we're her family. She's committed to us now. She'll hang in there now, as long as we don't lie to her. But the thing about family is, they're not friends. Tara's Faith's friend. Me...I'm sort of more like Faith's cool aunt."

"Xander?"

"Brother. Maybe a weird, eccentric uncle."

"Me?"

"You already know."

"Mom."

"Yeah. Does that...make you uncomfortable?"

"No. I like taking care of her. I'm gonna take care of her forever."

"That's not the only thing you are to her, anyway. I mean, you're her lover. She's got all kinds of feelings for you, and some of them conflict. What Faith really needs is Becca. Faith's looking for another Becca, and she sort of finds parts of Becca in you. But it's different though because Becca really was a mother to her, while you guys...y'know...get all snuggly. Tara has a lot of Becca in her too. That's what attracted Faith to her."

"Tell me about Tara?"

"She's...warm," Willow said. "She's kind. She's honest. A little goofy too. Faith told her about Becca, and about all of us. They hung out last week, just about every day. Faith stayed over Tara's house a lot, and Tara cooked for her, and they just talked all the time. And Faith told her like, everything, because Tara's just one of those people...one of those people you feel like you can talk to. Tara's gay, by the way. She has a crush on Faith."

"She...she does?" Buffy said.

"Yup. Faith could tell by the way Tara acted, so I could tell when I experienced the memories. And do you know what Tara did, when Faith told her about us, about you?"

"What?"

"She made Faith promise her that she'd try to work things out with all of us, and especially with you. She could tell Faith loves you, and even though Tara wanted Faith? Tara wants what's best for her. So she made Faith promise she'd try one more time with you. You noticed how Faith was different in the cemetery, when we fought those wolf vamps a couple of nights ago? She was trying to connect with us again. She hung out with me last week whenever I came by, and she didn't blow me off. Plus the morning after the big fight with the wolf vamps, she bought all those egg mcmuffins and kept on asking you to come eat breakfast with her in her room? We have Tara to thank for all that, Buffy. If Tara wanted to, she could have made a play for Faith. I mean, Faith was practically living at her house. And, the way Faith was feeling? After Faith was sure you were gonna leave to go away to college out of state, and you had already lied to her about Angel, and Faith thought it was over? I think if Tara made a play for Faith, it might have worked. But Tara didn't. Because she knew it would be taking advantage, and because she cares about Faith enough to do what's best for her... even if what's best for her is losing her for herself."

"Will...the party we're having for Faith tomorrow...you know where Tara lives, right? Could you swing by her place when you're picking up all the stuff, and ask Tara if she wants to come? I think Faith would like it if she was here."

Willow walked around to Buffy's side of the table, and leaned down, and kissed her forehead.

Then she hugged her.

"Sometimes, you disappoint me a little," Willow said. "Lying to me about Angel disappointed me. Lying to Faith about him disappointed me too. But then you always do something to remind me...of why you're my hero. Of why you're the best person I've ever known."

"Blushing again," Buffy whispered, and leaned her head on Willow's shoulder.

"Wanna blush? I can talk about how awesome you are in the sack some more," Willow said.

"Please don't," Buffy said. "Please?"

Willow giggled, and sat back down.

"So now that I'm all awesome and selfless and heroic, tell me more about this Tara girl so I can be a completely jealous bitch," Buffy said, and smiled.

"Well..." Willow said, thinking about it. She knew she had to be careful.

"What does she look like?" Buffy said.

"Pretty," Willow said. "About my height, with long, straight, dirty-blonde hair. She's kinda...earthy, y'know? Like, sensuous. She's real curvy. Big hips, big boobs. Pretty eyes...caring eyes. Big, full lips."

"Is she prettier than me? I mean...don't answer if it's too much to ask but...when you lived Faith's memories...you know what Faith thinks about her, right? You know how attracted Faith is to her."

"Faith thinks she's pretty."

"Prettier than me?"

"I didn't get a sense that she was really comparing you two in her head? Because you and Tara are like, apples and oranges, looks-wise. You're two different types. It's like...remember, back in the old days when you thought you liked guys and we had the big George Clooney versus Ricky Martin debate? In the end we decided they're both hot but we couldn't really settle on one, because they're just really different? It's like that. Faith's attracted to you both, but Tara's all like, soft and earth-goddessy and you're like, all hard and lean and powerful. Besides, it's mostly a scent thing anyway with Faith. She makes decisions on people based on how they smell."

"Yeah. Me too. What's Tara smell like?"

"Faith thinks she smells like ginger."

"She really likes Tara's scent, doesn't she?"

"Yeah."

"Better than mine?"

"You're jasmine. Again, not better or worse, just different."

"I smell like jasmine?"

"Yeah. Faith didn't know the name of the flower, but I do; I know all about flowers. Faith thinks you smell like jasmine."

Buffy thought about Angel...about the flowers he kept in his courtyard.

Then she dismissed the thought. It didn't matter...it didn't matter anymore.

"So like, the bottom line is, Faith's attracted to her," Buffy said.

"Yeah, but...Buffy...be practical. There are a lot of pretty girls in the world and a lot of girls who smell really good too. Do you expect Faith to never be attracted to anyone but you?"

"Can I answer yes? Is yes an option?"

"No."

"Shit," Buffy said. "Okay, enough about Tara's looks. What else can you tell me about her? I mean, this isn't a jealousy thing? It's just...she's important to Faith, and so I want to know her."

"I know sweetie, I understand," Willow said. "Well, here's one big thing. She's a witch, and a pretty powerful one."

"Really? Wow. I guess she really is Faith's Willow."

"Yeah. She's got these tarot cards...Faith calls them "Tara cards". But Tara's tarot cards are weird. I mean, I do tarot readings? But...those cards..."

"You do weird, creepy, always one-hundred percent perfectly accurate tarot readings that scare me."

"Tara's cards would scare you more. They're obviously magical. They do...strange things. And Tara told Faith this really weird story...about the real reason why she came to Sunnydale. Tara's from Milwaukee, she's only been here a few months, and she came out here because...okay, this is gonna sound freaky."

"Already dealing with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and all these new wolf vamps. How much freakier could it be?"

"Tara told Faith that when she was nine years old, she met a witch. This witch gave her the tarot cards, and a spell book, and a crystal pendant that Tara always wears. The witch told her that she was here to set Tara on the right path in her life, because Tara was one of a bunch of people who would be important in a war that was coming, in the future. Freaky?"

"Pretty freaky. Not Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse freaky though. Not giant praying mantis freaky either. Incan Mummy freaky, maybe. Zombie Christmas freaky."

"The witch told Tara she had traveled back in time to find her. That someone else, an evil man, was going back in time too, and changing the lives of important people, taking them out of the fight, so the bad guys could win the final battle. The witch said she was repairing the damage this man had done, and that someday, Tara, and a bunch of other people, would stand with her during the final battle. Freakier?"

"Okay. Now we've got some good quality freakiness. And...you believe her? Do we believe Tara?"

"Yeah. You and Faith, you can usually tell when someone's lying, if you concentrate...if you concentrate on your senses and listen to their heartbeats and stuff? Faith did that, and decided Tara was telling the truth."

"Tara say anything else about this big fight?'

"No. Just that the witch told her she was heading to England in 1972 next, to find someone else who would be important."

"Did she describe the witch? Does she know her name?"

"She doesn't know her name. She said the witch was maybe in her mid-twenties, and pretty, with dark brown hair and green eyes. And that she had sort of cute chipmunk teeth when she smiled."

"Cute chipmunk teeth?" Buffy said.

"Yeah. Why?" Willow said.

"Want to hear something freaky?" Buffy said, and smiled.

"Sure, why not," Willow said. "It's been one of those nights."

"The day I first met you, I wrote in my diary about you. I wrote that you have the cutest smile...it looks like you have chipmunk teeth."

Willow suddenly grew pale.

"Hey," Buffy said. "What is it?"

"What if...it's me?" Willow said. "What if...I'm the witch?"

"Okay, assuming we believe this story? Tara said she was in her mid-twenties."

"Tara said the witch was time-traveling, remember? Maybe it's something I do in the future. And the witch had green eyes."

"But she was a brunette. Okay, sure, maybe you might dye your hair someday, but..."

"Buffy...I dye my hair now. I've been dyeing it since freshman year, Xander can tell you. I'm not a redhead. I'm a brunette."

"How did I not know you dye your hair?"

"Never checked to see if there was any fire in the hole," Willow said, and grinned, and raised her eyebrow.

"You're just gonna try to make me blush forever, aren't you?" Buffy said.

"Since I've got all these memories of you boinking the hell out of me I think I owe you some blushing. But...yeah. I'm a brunette, I have green eyes, according to you I have cute chipmunk teeth, and I'm a witch."

"Okay...but...the evidence is circumstantial, Will."

Willow nodded, and thought about it.

"Tell me more about Tara," Buffy said. "Um...non-freaky stuff only, please."

"Wait," Willow said, and got up. "Wait here. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"To get some hundred-percent perfectly accurate answers," Willow said, and walked out of the room.

She came back a couple of minutes later with a deck of tarot cards in her hand.

"Oh, no," Buffy said. "You know this always freaks me out."

"This will be a quick reading," Willow said, and sat down and began shuffling. "I'm going to ask a question, and pick one card."

"Is there like, a card that says you're the witch?"

"That's the problem, the cards aren't really designed for yes or no answers to a question like this. I mean, if I was asking if I'll fall in love and I got the Lovers, that would be a yes. But there really isn't a card for this question. But there are cards that could be interpreted to mean yes."

"Like...?" Buffy said.

"The High Priestess," Willow said. "She represents inner wisdom, the unknown. Mystery, the understanding of hidden things. And she represents the feminine archetype too; the spirit of the Goddess. If any card is a witch, it's her."

"So...what, if you pick that one card that means you're the witch?" Buffy said.

"Yeah," Willow said.

"No other card but that one? What if you pick some other card?"

"Then I'm not the witch."

"That gives you like...a one in seventy-eight chance. Is that even fair? You're stacking the odds pretty high against being this witch."

"You're talking about the law of averages, probability. The cards don't work that way. As long as they have the means to answer my question, they will. My cards always answer my questions."

Willow stopped shuffling, and spread the pile of cards face down in a rainbow across the table.

Willow looked down at them.

"Am I the witch who visited Tara?" Willow whispered.

She picked a card...and turned it over...

She and Buffy looked down at it.

The figure on the card was a beautiful woman sitting serenely between white and black pillars, wearing a flowing light blue robe with a cross on her breast, and a white, horned diadem crown. The crown supported a globe between its two horns, and there was a lunar crescent symbol on the floor at the woman's feet. There was a veil behind her, stretched between the two pillars, embroidered with palm trees, and fruit.

The woman was wise, and beautiful...

"The High Priestess," Buffy said.

Willow nodded, and looked at the card...

And saw her future.

"I'm her," Willow said.

Fourteen

WHO DO YOU LOVE

"Okay...that's...freaky," Buffy said. "You're...I mean, if you're sure the cards are giving you the right answer? You're...gonna travel through time."

"The cards don't lie to me," Willow said. "I'm the witch. Someday, I'm gonna go around looking for people in the past...to help me fight some kind of big apocalyptic battle."

They looked at the card. The High Priestess.

"It's a pretty card," Buffy said.

"Yeah," Willow said. "I always think of Becca when I see it."

"Time travel," Buffy said. "How would you even do it? Does Michael J. Fox take you out on a date? Is there some kinda spell you know about?"

"No," Willow said. "I've never even heard a rumor of any kind of magic that can create that effect...or any deity who grants that kind of power. I wouldn't even know how to begin. But someday I'm gonna know."

"I just realized, there's one easy way to figure this out once and for all. I mean, yeah okay, you believe the cards. But...if we go find Tara, assuming she remembers what the witch looked like, we can just ask her if you're her. Just tell her, y'know, picture you with dark hair."

"Doesn't matter. The cards don't lie to me."

Willow got up, and walked away from the table. She stood in the middle of the kitchen, looking away from Buffy, looking toward the window. The night was black.

"I know I'm the witch," Willow said.

Buffy got up, and put her arms around her.

"Whatever happens?" Buffy said. "I'll be there to help you, Will. I'll always be there for you. Okay?"

Willow turned around, and leaned her head on Buffy's shoulder.

Willow was shaking.

"Before you ask? No idea why...why I'm all, wiggin' out over this," Willow said. "It's just...you're Buffy. I'm supposed to...I'm supposed to help you but...you're the one who's supposed to lead. And this thing Tara talked about, it sounds like I have to do it all alone and...I'm...I don't know, I guess...I'm scared."

"Wanna know a secret?" Buffy said.

Willow looked up at her.

"I always thought you should be the leader," Buffy said. "Out of me, you, Xander and Giles? I always thought you'd make the best leader."

"Really?" Willow said. "You're not just...trying to make feel better?"

"Nope. You're smarter than all of us, and more disciplined. Sometimes I run out and go looking for a fight? But you always see the big picture. Whenever we're in like, crisis mode and I have to rally the troops, you know what I do?"

"What?"

Buffy kissed her cheek.

"I try to relax, take a breath, and then I think to myself, how would Willow handle this? What angles would she be seeing here that I haven't looked at yet? That's what I do. It's what I always do now."

"I love you, Buffy," Willow whispered. "I need you, I can't...stop thinking about you. I keep thinking about us...together...making love. I'm...I'm in love with you."

Buffy looked at her for a moment. She looked down into Willow's green eyes, and caressed her cheek.

Then she lifted her up in her arms.

"What...what are you doing?" Willow said.

"Sshhh," Buffy said, and carried her into the living room.

Willow rested her head on Buffy's shoulder as Buffy carried her into the dark room, and laid her down on the couch.

Willow's heart was beating like a jackhammer. Buffy could hear it. There were no other sounds. The only light came from a streetlamp outside, stealing in through a gap in the curtains.

Buffy stood in the light, only partly revealed. Her face was a shadowy hint, her eyes two pinpoint gleams focused directly on Willow now. As Buffy looked down at Willow, she cast a long shadow on the wall behind her. The shadow seemed to move of its own accord. Willow couldn't figure out how it was moving; the light from the street lamp was fixed, and Buffy stood perfectly still... Buffy's shadow shouldn't have been moving.

But it was...

It danced.

Willow was frozen. She tried to look away from Buffy's eyes, but they held her.

Buffy took off her nightgown, raising her arms above her head as she did; Willow could see the strong muscles in her arms and shoulders flexing. Buffy dropped the nightgown to the floor.

"Is this what you want?" Buffy said.

Buffy's voice was a cold wind rustling through leaves at night...it was stealthy footfalls in the tall grass.

Buffy moved closer to Willow, and stood in front of her. The light played across her stomach. Buffy's stomach was hard and flat, but her skin was milky white and Willow knew it was soft. Buffy's face was still a shadow. Her eyes were two diamond points of light now, holding Willow, freezing her in place.

Buffy took off her bra. Willow looked up at her breasts, as Buffy moved closer to her, and the light from the streetlamp flitted across them. Buffy's nipples were hard, sticking straight out like they always did when she was aroused...

At that moment, she was the most beautiful thing Willow had ever seen.

Buffy pulled down her panties. Willow watched the long, hard muscles in Buffy's thighs moving as she bent over, and slipped them down her legs, and stepped out of them.

"Take off your pajamas," Buffy said.

Willow hesitated. Buffy watched her; Buffy's eyes never left Willow's. They held her in place.

Willow blushed.

She unbuttoned her pajama top, with trembling hands.

She wasn't wearing a bra underneath her pajamas. Her breasts were exposed. She moved her hand to cover them...then moved it away.

"You're beautiful," Buffy said. "I always thought you were beautiful."

Willow's nipples were hard. She slipped her top off her shoulders, and dropped it on the floor.

Buffy looked at her, and waited.

Willow pulled down her pajama bottoms, and kicked them off. She was naked, except for her panties.

Buffy knelt down beside her.

Willow moved her hands on top of her legs, blocking her panties.

Buffy took Willow's hands in hers, and caressed them.

"Is this what you want?" Buffy whispered.

Buffy gently moved Willow's hands aside.

"I'd never hurt you," Buffy said.

"I know," Willow said.

Buffy slowly pulled down Willow's panties.

Buffy could smell it, and see it now, too; Willow was wet.

Buffy slipped Willow's panties off, and set them aside.

Buffy smiled, and caressed Willow's hair.

"You're beautiful," Buffy said.

"So are you," Willow said.

"We need to talk now," Buffy said. "About us."

Buffy laid down on the couch next to Willow, and took her in her arms. Willow hugged her. It felt perfectly natural to be doing this...it felt right.

Buffy's body felt warm. Her arms were strong.

"Do you remember when I did this with Faith?" Buffy said. "The day after we made love?"

"Yeah," Willow said. "You wanted to talk, and she was nervous...and, um, horny. So...you did this."

"It didn't work out so well," Buffy said. "I didn't know her then. I didn't know that she might think I was taking advantage of her...teasing her. I didn't mean to do that...I would never do that. And I would never do that to you, either. I'm not teasing you, Willow. If you want me to make love to you, I will. But first we need to talk."

Willow rested her head against Buffy's breasts.

"I love you, Willow," Buffy said, as she caressed her hair. "But you don't love me. You think you do. But you don't. Not the way I love you."

Willow looked up into Buffy's eyes. She felt warm, lying in Buffy's arms. Buffy's breasts were soft, against her cheek.

Buffy took Willow's hand.

"I've been in love with you since the day we first met," Buffy said. "My diary? Every entry up until I met Angel is about you. Whenever you slept over, we'd do each other's hair and hang out and stuff? And you'd talk about Xander, and movie star guys you thought were cute, and I'd play along, and pretend I wasn't in love with you. Do you know how much it hurt me? Do you know how much it's always hurt me, being around you, knowing I can't have you? And then when you slept over you'd go to sleep in the spare room, and I'd go to my bed, alone, and cry. Because I knew you'd never be mine."

"I'm sorry," Willow whispered. "But...I love you now. I love you so much, Buffy. I...I need you. I think about you all the time...about us...like this."

"You've been thinking about me since around eight-thirty," Buffy said. "That's when you got Faith's memories. Yeah, you've lived her life in your head but you've only had her memories for like, eight hours. Before that, you loved me as your best friend. Everything else? Everything else is Faith. These feelings you have are Faith's, not yours. It's not you fault you have them, you didn't know this would happen. But they don't belong to you, Willow. They belong to her."

Buffy tilted Willow's chin up, and looked into her eyes.

"I belong to her," Buffy said.

Tears filled Willow's eyes.

"Do you know why your eyes go black sometimes?" Buffy said.

Willow shook her head.

"I do," Buffy said. "They go black because you've spent your life doing what everyone else wants, living according to other people's expectations. You have a lot of anger all bottled up inside, and it comes out sometimes now, and your eyes go black. You've never made decisions for yourself. All your life, you've let other people decide for you. But, tonight? You're gonna decide. You're gonna decide about us. I love you. You don't love me, but I love you. And you can have me tonight, if that's what you really want. I'll make love to you, if that's what you really want."

Willow looked up at Buffy, searched her eyes.

"What do you want, Willow?" Buffy said. "If you could have your wish, what would it be? Do you want me to make love to you, the way I did to Faith? Do you want to cheat on Xander? Do you want me to cheat on Faith?"

Willow felt stuck, suspended. She didn't know what to do. She was at the top of the roller coaster, in that one moment when the car teeters on the brink, just before it falls...

"There was a night, that I know you remember," Buffy said. "And I know you think I don't remember it, but I do. It was the night I took Faith...the night she opened her legs for me, and let me inside. The Slayer and I were separate, then. That's why I didn't remember at first. But we aren't separate anymore. I'm the Slayer, Willow. I'm the one who loved you, that night. Who took you over and over again. Who bit you and scratched you and took you from behind and whispered those things in your ear, the things that scared you. I'm the one who took your blood. You want that again? You want that, for real? You want me to take you? I will, if you want."

Willow thought about it. She did want it; it was all she'd been thinking about all night. Opening her legs for Buffy, and feeling Buffy inside...hearing Buffy growling and whispering in her ear...

Willow thought about her life. She saw it, for a second; she saw her whole life, saw all the intricate patterns, the infinite connections, all the paths, and where they led...she saw life, for just a second, for what it really was...

Buffy held Willow's hand, and looked into her eyes.

"Our lives are in your hands tonight," Buffy said. "Not just yours and mine. Faith's and Xander's too...and maybe Tara's. Because here's the catch, baby. Rebecca's always right. I'll love you tonight if you want. But I won't lie about it. I'll tell Faith, and if you don't tell Xander I will. Faith will leave me, and maybe end up with Tara. Xander will leave you. Who knows, maybe he'll end up with Cordy. You're right, she's been looking at him in a funny way lately. I think maybe she wants him just because he's like, the one guy she's not able to have."

Willow knew life was a series of decisions.

"It's gonna take time, Willow," Buffy said. "Time to find yourself. You're still in there. I don't know if you can ever go back to the way you were before. But I know you can find a balance...a way to be strong, to adjust to this and still be you. In the meantime? You have to decide what you want. Do you want me, or Xander? Decide, Willow. Decide, for the rest of your life. Decide, for all of us...all of our lives. Now."

Buffy caressed Willow's cheek.

"Who do you love?" Buffy whispered.

It was as if the world had paused. Willow felt like the world was watching her, and waiting.

She knew life was a series of decisions...

So she made one.

"Xander," Willow said.

"And we have a winner," Buffy said, and smiled.

"You knew this was how it would go," Willow said. "All of this...you were never gonna cheat on Faith. You knew I wouldn't let that happen."

"You're Willow," Buffy said. "You'd never let me hurt Faith. You'd never let yourself hurt Xander."

Willow nodded.

"It's why you can lead," Buffy said. "You think about other people first. That's why I know, when you have to do all that stuff someday? When you have to go back in time looking for people, for that big war that's coming? I know you'll be fine, baby. I know everything will be okay."

Willow didn't feel nervous about the future anymore. She realized that Buffy was right: she realized she could do it...that whatever the future threw at her, she could deal with it. She could be strong.

"I love you, Willow," Buffy said. "I trust you with my life. Faith is my life. And I knew you wouldn't let me lose her."

"I love you too," Willow said. "I know there's a universe where you and I are together. But...not this one. Some things are meant to be...and some things...

"Aren't," Buffy said.

Willow looked up into Buffy's eyes. Buffy was crying.

Willow realized she was crying too.

"A goodbye kiss?" Willow whispered. "Just...one kiss? Just one?"

"Just one," Buffy whispered, and kissed her.

"Baby?" Buffy whispered. "Wake up, baby."

"Lose my place in line," Faith muttered, into Buffy's breasts.

Buffy smiled.

"Faith," Buffy whispered, in Faith's ear. "It's time for your pills. You gotta wake up, baby."

"But...what about our tickets?" Faith muttered, as she opened her eyes, and looked up. "It's the season opener."

Faith looked around. She looked up into Buffy's eyes. Buffy smiled down at her, and kissed her.

"Uh...what was I just saying?" Faith said.

"No idea," Buffy said. "As usual. How's your pain? You feel okay?"

"Yeah. Stomach's like, a little pinchy feeling. Everything else is cool."

"Okay," Buffy said, and held out two morphine pills to Faith. Faith took them, and Buffy reached over to the nightstand and came back with a glass of water. Faith drank the whole glass down.

"Want more water?" Buffy said. "Still thirsty?"

"Nah, I'm good," Faith said. "Kinda beat but...other than that I'm good." She yawned, and looked at Buffy's eyes.

"What?" Buffy said.

"You been sleepin'?" Faith said. "Got dark circles under your eyes."

Buffy shook her head. "I've been watching you sleep," she said.

"What time is it?" Faith said.

"Five," Buffy said.

"Listen, beautiful," Faith said. "I want you to sleep, okay?"

Buffy didn't want to. She didn't want to miss another moment...

She didn't know how many they had left.

"Buffy," Faith said, and caressed her cheek with her good hand. "I want you to sleep, honey. Okay?"

"Okay," Buffy said.

Faith curled up against Buffy's breasts. Buffy put her arms around her, and drew the covers over her, and held her tight...and closed her eyes.

"Love you," Faith said.

"Love you too," Buffy said. "I always will, Faith. No matter what."

Buffy dreamed she was flying.

She soared into the sky, and floated gently back down to earth...

She bounded through the clouds. The sun was on her face, and the wind was in her hair, and she was weightless. She leaped into the sky, and flew, and then drifted back down...and leaped back into the sky and flew again...

She opened her eyes. The sun was shining in through the window. The bedroom was bright.

The ceiling kept getting closer, then farther away again, for some reason.

She looked around.

Faith was jumping up and down on the bed.

"Rise and shine, B," Faith said.

"What are you doing?" Buffy said.

"This a trick question?" Faith said, grinning down at her. Every time she jumped Buffy's body bounced into the air and Faith's head nearly touched the ceiling. Buffy noticed that the bruises on Faith's legs were a faded yellow color now, and much smaller.

Buffy stood on the bed, caught Faith in mid-air, and swept her up in her arms.

"C'mere, kitty cat," Buffy said, and laid her back down on the bed, and kissed her. "How come you're jumping around on a broken ankle? Doctor Buffy didn't say you could jump around."

"I don't know," Faith said, and hugged her. "Felt like jumpin'."

"Let me see your ankle," Buffy said, and moved down the bed, and gently took Faith's ankle in her hand. "I'm gonna take this bandage off, have a look. I'll give you a new bandage."

"Anything else you wanna do while you're down there?" Faith said.

"Maybe," Buffy said, and smiled, and gently removed Faith's bandage. "If you're a good kitty-cat and stop disobeying doctor's orders. This hurt?" she said, and ran her fingers over Faith's ankle.

"Nope," Faith said.

Buffy kissed it. "Wanna try walking on it?" she said.

"Yeah," Faith said.

"Okay," Buffy said, and took Faith's hand, and sat her up on the bed. She stood up, and Faith stood up with her.

Faith took a few steps. She limped slightly.

"How's it feel?" Buffy said.

"Feels pretty good," Faith said. "No pain. Just like a tiny little twinge."

"No more swelling either. I think it's almost healed up. But do me a favor, don't like, go running around or kicking anything, at least for today, okay?"

"Sure. I'm a little gimpy. But...at least I can walk again though."

"What, you didn't like me carrying you everywhere?"

Faith kissed her.

"Kinda loved it," Faith said. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Hey, hey..." Buffy said, and hugged her. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing. I just...you just always take care of me and...I just really love you, Buffy. I love you."

"I love you too, baby," Buffy said, and wiped her tears away. "No more crying now, okay?"

Faith nodded.

"Come to bed?" Faith said.

They laid on the bed together, and kissed.

Buffy kissed Faith's neck, and her breasts, and her stomach...

"You've been a good kitty-cat," Buffy said, and looked up at her, and smiled. "Good kitty-cats get extra-special kisses from Doctor Buffy."

"Wait...let's sixty-nine" Faith said. "I wanna kiss your pussy, honey."

"Okay, pretty kitty," Buffy said. She looked at the alarm clock. "But first Doctor Buffy says it's time for your pills. Be right back." She picked up the empty glass from the nightstand, walked out of the room, and came back a minute later with a glass of water. She opened the bottle of pills and took out two. "Take these," Buffy said, and handed Faith the pills, and kissed her. "Then you can take me, baby."

Faith took her pills, and set the glass back down on the nightstand. Buffy moved on top of her, and turned around.

Faith smiled. "This is gonna be fun," she said. "Last bunch of times we sixty-nined you always made me be on top."

"Because I love looking at your perfect beautiful bubble butt while I'm licking you," Buffy said. "Once you're better you're going back on top again."

Faith giggled. "So not fair," she said, as Buffy backed up toward her face. "I'm gonna like, file a complaint. Maybe start a petition."

"Xander will sign it if you bring pictures," Buffy said. "Maybe next time you're on top I'll have a special treat for you to make up for it."

"Oh yeah?" Faith said, and began kissing Buffy's pussy. "What's that gonna be, beautiful?"

"You never know," Buffy said, and giggled, and buried her face between Faith's legs.

They were quiet after that; only their quick breathing, and their soft moans, disturbed the stillness. Faith gave Buffy's pussy little kisses, and fucked it with her tongue, and gently stroked Buffy's clit with her left hand. Buffy's pussy was already dripping; her juice was warm and sticky and it had a sweet, tangy taste that Faith loved. Faith licked that nectar up, from the bottom of Buffy's pussy, just below her ass, all the way around to her clit, and then went back to fucking Buffy's pussy with her tongue.

"I like it down here, honey," Faith whispered, between moans. "Everything's easy to reach, got everything I need right here, like, handy. Got my finger on the button."

"You gonna start world war three back there?" Buffy said, and sucked on Faith's clit, and began fucking Faith's face, moving her ass back onto it and thrusting against it, as Faith darted her long tongue in and out of her pussy, and focused on Buffy's scent; it was at its most concentrated there, between her legs. Faith felt her blood pumping through her veins, when she took in Buffy's sweet pussy scent; she felt her energy shooting through her.

"Hell yeah," Faith said. "My girl always comes like a bomb goin' off. Gonna get you to Defcon one soon, honey."

"I love you, baby," Buffy said.

"I love you too," Faith said, and suddenly squealed, as Buffy stuck two fingers into her pussy, and began fucking her. At the same time Buffy began thrusting her ass back into Faith's face even harder, and her own moans got louder, and began coming quicker.

Their bodies moved together now, rocking gently back and forth, causing the bed to creak in time with their moans.

Their scents filled the room. Buffy's pussy juice was all over Faith's lips now. She lapped as much of it out of Buffy's pussy as she could with her tongue, like a cat drinking milk from a saucer, and swallowed it.

"I love swallowing it for you, Buffy," Faith whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," Buffy whispered.

Faith began sucking on Buffy's clit; Buffy's clit was small but it was engorged now from Faith's expert stroking, and when Faith took it in her mouth and gently sucked on it, it was hard. Buffy began to tremble. Faith ran her hand up and down Buffy's thick, muscular calves, and she sucked on Buffy's clit, as Buffy's pussy dripped all over her lips, and Buffy fucked her with her fingers.

Buffy began curling her fingers up inside Faith's pussy as she fucked her. Faith's legs began to shake.

"Think...there's...really a G-spot?" Faith said, breathlessly. She knew she'd be coming soon.

"Don't know. All that matters is my baby's spot," Buffy whispered, as she sucked on Faith's clit and fucked her with her fingers. "And I know it's right here. I'm gonna call it the F-spot."

Faith felt a pressure building in her. She caressed Buffy's ass, reveling in the feel of the rock-hard muscles moving underneath it, and then stuck her fingers as far as they would go up Buffy's pussy, and sucked harder on her clit. Buffy screamed, and Faith lifted Buffy's legs and angled them up and away from the wall, just as Buffy kicked back with them. Faith knew Buffy could easily kick through the wall; she'd seen her do it before, when she came. Buffy held onto the bedsheet, shredding it with her fingernails, as her orgasm ripped through her like an earthquake. Faith came next; she wailed and bucked beneath Buffy and nearly threw her off the bed. But Buffy held onto her, as the aftershocks from the earthquake rippled through her own body, and she shook all over...

They laid together like that for a moment, catching their breath. They focused on each other's scents, and their heartbeats; they could hear them.

Buffy reached out and massaged Faith's feet, and Faith ran her fingers over Buffy's ass, and down her thighs.

"I love you," Buffy whispered. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too," Faith whispered. "Come up here, honey."

Buffy turned around, and kissed her way back up Faith's body. When she reached Faith's lips, she hugged her.

"You're my kitten," Buffy whispered, running her fingers through Faith's hair, as Faith ran her left hand up and down Buffy's strong, muscular back.

"Yeah," Faith said. "But I'm gonna be a grown-up cat soon. I'm gonna be a grown-up alley cat. Get up on my lips, honey. I wanna make you purr again."

"You always make me purr, baby," Buffy said, and smiled down at Faith as she sat up and straddled her face. "But...alley cat? I don't want you to be an alley cat. I don't like the way that sounds."

Uh...yeah," Faith said, and brought Buffy's pussy down to her lips, and kissed it. "Just...a regular old grown-up cat then."

"My strong, beautiful cat," Buffy said. "The most beautiful cat in the world."

"But I'll still always be your kitten, Buffy," Faith whispered, and began licking her.

"I know, baby," Buffy murmured, and closed her eyes.

"Wow," Buffy said, much later. "You're like some kinda prodigy. You're an oral sex prodigy. And I'm not even kidding. If licking me was an Olympic event you'd be like the Dorothy Hamill of licking me."

"Got me some strong tongue muscles," Faith said.

"I don't think there's a single drop of any kind of moisture left in me," Buffy said. "I feel like the bottom of a slurpee cup."

"You're not so bad yourself, girlfriend," Faith said. "Had me purring. What time is it anyway?"

They were lying naked in bed together. Faith was resting her head on Buffy's breasts and Buffy was rubbing her feet against Faith's. A fine film of sweat covered their bodies, from head to toe. Faith no longer had the bandage on her stomach, and the slash there had scabbed over and already begun to fade to a pinkish color. The bed was rather rumpled. The lamp that had been on the nightstand was on the floor now, in pieces. Buffy looked over at the alarm clock she kept on the nightstand. It was on the floor too, in pieces.

"Um..." Buffy said. "Well judging by the clock I guess it was a little past eleven when you made me come that third time."

"Gonna have to do something about how you always kick out like a mule when I get you off, hon," Faith said. "Maybe like, Buffy-proof your room. Maybe I can start tying you up. Big pervo lesbian like you, bet you'd get off on that."

"Maybe I would," Buffy said, with a wicked smile. "I'm a bad girl."

"Gonna test that theory sometime," Faith said. "Hungry. How about we get cleaned up, then see if Xan Man's been up to anything in the kitchen. Gotta keep that boy around. He can cook his butt off."

"Will's kinda fond of him too. So yeah, guess we can keep him. They're probably out shopping by now, they had some errands to run today."

"Xander better stop makin' fun of my accent."

"He's never, ever gonna stop making fun of your accent."

"Gonna get his D.O.R."

"Yeah, and thank you very much for that bit of pissing me off, by the way. Like he doesn't almost die enough? Now I gotta worry about you training him and him being all Kung Fu Boy and showing off and getting in over his head and not having the sense to run anymore and maybe getting killed that way? I should kick your ass. If I didn't love that perfect amazing ass of yours so much I'd kick it."

"You're beautiful when you're angry, honey," Faith said, and kissed her. "Plus all the other times."

"We still need to argue about this," Buffy said. "I need to like, be annoyed at you and maybe get pouty and even intractable."

"Pretty damn impertinent of me, telling Xander I'd train him without runnin' it by you, huh?" Faith said.

"Totally impertinent," Buffy said. "I think I'm gonna start being annoyed at you now. Ready? In three...two...one...now."

Faith took Buffy's hand and pulled her from the bed. "You can be annoyed with me in the tub," she said.

"Is this gonna be our first bubblebath together?" Buffy said, as they made sure the coast was clear and scooted naked into the bathroom across the hall.

Buffy wasn't letting herself think about it...but she knew her time was running out. The moment was drawing closer when she would have to tell Faith about Angel...and Faith might leave her. She wanted to make love to Faith again, before then. She wanted to hold her in her arms, and tell her she loved her.

One perfect day, she decided. She wanted to give her one perfect day.

"Is this like, a significant moment in our relationship?" Buffy said, and put the thought aside. She'd deal with it when the time came; for now she was going to enjoy every second. "Should there be candles and Yanni music? Should we mark this date on the calendar?"

"Nah, it's just we're all sweaty and I wanna feel you up, plus, hey, bubbles," Faith said. "Candles optional. No Yanni."

"Works for me," Buffy said. "I can't get over how much better that cut on your stomach looks. You heal faster than me. You're already stronger than me, now you get awesome quick healing too?"

"Plus super strong tongue muscles. But hey, you got stuff. You're faster than me, plus you pick up scents quicker, and you're better at the stealthy stuff too. I mean, I can be slick and everything, sneak up on guys, but you're quiet as a damn ninja. Seriously, when you move even I can't tell you're moving."

"So my power is the power of super quietness? You get to heal up from anything in like two seconds and I just get to be quiet?"

"Except when you're in my bed. Your quietness power kinda skips town right around then."

"Right around the time when your super tongue muscle power gets going. How's your arm?"

"Y'know," Faith said, and felt her right arm with her left, running her left hand across her splint. "I think I might just be able to move it."

"One way to find out. How about we take the splint off and if you still can't move it I'll just make you another one. The way your ankle healed there's a good chance your arm's pretty okay too."

"Yeah, okay," Faith said, and Buffy carefully removed her splint, and untied her sling. Faith slowly, gingerly stretched out her arm.

"Houston, we've got arm movement," Buffy said. "Does it feel okay?"

"'Houston, we've got arm movement'?"

"My badinage isn't at its best," Buffy said, and started running the bathwater. "You just made me come like fifteen times and I got four hours of sleep. Leave me alone."

Faith started taking off her bandages. "Arm's a little tender, but it's not broke anymore at least. Figure if the arm and the ankle are okay I definitely won't need these bandages either," she said.

"Your bruises are almost gone too," Buffy said.

"Good," Faith said. "Cuttin' into my sexiness. Hard to be fab when you're all like, purplish."

"Aw, you're still a pretty kitty," Buffy said, and put her arms around Faith's waist, and brought her close to her.

They kissed, and ran their hands over each other's bodies.

"Don't be jealous of my perfect butt," Faith said.

"It's all mine," Buffy said, and gave Faith's butt a little pat, and giggled. She grabbed bubblebath from the medicine cabinet and sprinkled it into the water.

"Big pervo lesbian," Faith said. "Seducing an impressionable young straight girl like me."

"Yup, that's exactly how it happened, baby," Buffy said.

"So what do you think? Facin' each other or like, lyin' beside each other?"

"Beside each other. Easier to cop feels."

They got into the tub together.

"Xander needs to know how to fight, B," Faith said. "You know I'm right on this."

"Yeah," Buffy said.

"You gonna give him a hard time on this? Be all on his ass about how you don't want him and Will gettin' in trouble?"

Buffy put her arm around Faith, and they laid beside each other in the tub. Faith took the bar of soap, lathered up her hands, and began running them over Buffy's body. Buffy raised her long legs into the air, first one and then the other, and let Faith wash her. Faith ran her soapy hands down Buffy's legs, caressing them from the top of Buffy's thighs to the soles of her feet.

"No," Buffy said. "You were right. I can't do this alone. I have no right to tell Will and Xander to just stay home after all the times they've stuck their necks out for me. But...I just worry."

"Don't worry about Xan Man," Faith said. "Yeah, I'll train him up, but part of the training's gonna be when to fight, not just how. There are gonna be lots of times when him gettin' the hell out of there is gonna help me and you out a lot more than him gettin' in the thick of it would."

"He's not the one I'm worried about," Buffy said.

After they got out of the tub, Buffy carried Faith naked back to her bedroom, and laid her on the bed.

"Time for more treatment from Doctor Buffy," Buffy said.

"I love my appointments with Doctor Buffy," Faith said.

"It's a highly effective treatment regimen," Buffy said. "My kisses are what's been healing you up. They're making you all better."

"It's definitely the kisses," Faith said.

Buffy took Faith's right foot in her hand. She looked closely at it, and touched Faith's big toe. Faith's big toe and the one next to it didn't have toenails. "How does your foot feel here?" Buffy said.

"Feels good," Faith said. "No pain or nothin'. Now if I could just get my damn toenails back."

"They're growing back," Buffy said. "I can see like, the beginning of the new ones." Buffy kissed each of the toes on Faith's foot, and smiled at her. "I told you I'd worship you," Buffy whispered. "Remember? I said I'd kiss your feet."

"I love you," Faith whispered.

"I love you too," Buffy said, and kissed Faith's left ankle, and then her right knee. Faith opened her legs.

"I think my baby wants an extra-special kiss somewhere else," Buffy whispered, as she kissed the bruises on Faith's right side, moving up toward her breasts. The bruises were a faded yellow now.

"Maybe," Faith said, and smiled. Faith's nipples were hard. Buffy gave each of them a kiss.

Faith moaned; her pussy was wet now, too. Buffy could smell it.

Buffy took Faith's right hand in hers, and kissed her index finger and her thumb. She kissed her way up Faith's right arm. She kissed Faith's collarbone, and licked her neck, and kissed the back of her head. She moved her hand to Faith's pussy lips, and caressed them. Faith closed her eyes, and moaned again.

Buffy gently turned Faith onto her side and kissed her butt, up near her tailbone, where she had a bruise. Faith giggled.

"You're a real thorough doctor," Faith said.

"Yup. Everyone wants an appointment with Doctor Buffy," Buffy whispered. "There's a waiting list a mile long." She laid down beside Faith, and took her in her arms. Faith rested her head on Buffy's breasts, as Buffy gently stroked her pussy.

"I think my baby wants me to take care of her, huh?" Buffy whispered. Faith nodded, and moaned, and ran her feet up and down Buffy's calves.

"How does she want me to take care of her?" Buffy whispered. "Whisper it in my ear, baby. Whisper what you want momma to do."

Faith whispered something in her ear. Buffy nodded, and kissed her.

"We'll have to go slow though, okay, baby?" Buffy whispered. "You're not a hundred percent yet, so we'll have to go nice and slow."

Faith nodded.

Buffy got up, went to her bureau, and opened her bottom drawer. She fished around beneath a dozen hand-knitted Christmas sweaters and came out with the dildo she'd made love to Faith with the month before.

"I wanna put it on you," Faith said. "I wanna kneel down in front of you and put it on you."

"No," Buffy said. "Your knee's not a hundred percent, I don't want you kneeling. You can sit up and put it on me, okay?"

Faith nodded, and sat on the edge of the bed. Buffy came back to the bed, and gave her the dildo. She stood in front of her, and caressed her hair.

"Stand up on the bed," Faith whispered.

Buffy got up onto the bed.

Faith took Buffy's right foot in her hand, and kissed it; she did the same with the left. Then she held out the dildo, and Buffy stepped into it. Faith pulled the panties up, and strapped the dildo in place between Buffy's legs. She kissed the tip of the dildo, and looked up into Buffy's eyes.

"Does my baby want to suck it?" Buffy whispered.

Faith nodded, and laid herself down on the bed. Buffy knelt over Faith's face, and rubbed the dildo against Faith's cheek.

Faith kissed the dildo, up and down along its shaft, as Buffy caressed her cheek with it. Then she took it in her mouth, and began sucking on it.

Buffy looked down at Faith, and began gently thrusting into her mouth.

They were quiet. Buffy fucked Faith's mouth, and began caressing her pussy again. Faith spread her legs for Buffy, and looked up into her eyes, and kept her hands down by her sides, in a submissive pose. She didn't touch the dildo, didn't try to control it in any way. Instead she laid on the bed beneath Buffy, with her legs spread, and looked up into Buffy's eyes, as Buffy slowly fucked her mouth, and stroked her pussy.

Faith's pussy was drenched. Buffy ran her long fingers up and down Faith's slick pussy lips, and began massaging her clit. Faith moaned, with the dildo in her mouth. Buffy took it out, and bent down and kissed her, as she went on stroking her clit.

"I think my baby's all ready to be fucked," Buffy whispered.

Faith nodded.

Buffy laid herself on top of Faith, and entered her.

Faith was wet enough that the dildo went straight in; Faith took all of it with a soft moan, and a shudder.

"Is it okay?" Buffy whispered. "It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No," Faith whispered back, and kissed her. "Feels just right."

Buffy began fucking Faith, slowly. She looked into her eyes, and kissed her, gently.

They were quiet. The bed creaked beneath them. They breathed together. Faith moaned, as Buffy fucked her. Those were the only sounds.

Faith arched her hips, to take Buffy deeper. Buffy kissed her, and caressed her cheek. Their bodies moved together, in perfect rhythm.

Faith wrapped her legs around Buffy, and ran her feet up and down the backs of her thighs. Buffy kissed Faith's neck, and fucked her, still going slow. She felt Faith's pussy tighten around the dildo, holding it and drawing it in. She took in Faith's peach scent, as she kissed Faith's neck, just below her ear, where her scent was always strong.

Faith's breathing was speeding up; it felt warm on Buffy's cheek. Faith's moans were a sweet, soft whisper in Buffy's ear.

"That's it, baby," Buffy whispered, and kissed her. "That's it. Take it all for me, baby. Take me all the way inside, okay?"

Faith nodded, and hugged Buffy, holding her tight, and caressed her thighs with her feet. Faith's nipples were hard against Buffy's breasts, and Buffy could feel Faith's heart, beating fast beneath her now. Faith's body felt warm. Buffy liked how strong Faith's arms felt around her, as they moved up and down her back now, caressing her from her shoulders all the way down her sides to her ass, and then all the way back up again.

Buffy plunged into her. She went as deep as she was able to, and held Faith in her arms as tightly as she could, as Faith's sweet moans came to her, and her musky peach scent made her blood race. Buffy wanted to become part of Faith, to melt into her.

"Does my baby like it?" Buffy whispered, as their bodies rocked back and forth together. "Does my baby like it when I fuck her with my dick?"

"Yeah...yeah...yeah..." Faith moaned, in time with Buffy's thrusts. "Love you...love you...inside."

Buffy looked down into Faith's eyes, and smiled, as she fucked her.

Faith blushed a little, and smiled back.

"I love you, Buffy," Faith whispered.

"I love you too, Faith," Buffy whispered.

After a few more minutes, Buffy began thrusting faster, and Faith matched her speed. Buffy moved up a little, so she could move against Faith's clit. Faith's moans got louder.

Faith's peach scent filled the room. Buffy didn't think she could live without that scent, now.

Their bodies moved together, and they held onto each other, as tight as they could. They both began breathing in quick little gasps, and Faith's moans had become a series of squeals now.

They looked into each other's eyes, as Buffy plunged herself as deep into Faith as she could go, and Faith took all of her inside.

"Do you know...know how much I love you, baby?" Buffy whispered, and her eyes filled with tears. "How, how I'll love you forever? No matter what, baby? No matter what happens?"

"I love you so much, Buffy," Faith said, her voice breaking, as her breathing sped up again, and tears fell down her cheeks. "I love you, I love you. I love you so much..."

Buffy nodded, and smiled, and made love to her.

They didn't say anything else.

Faith began to scream, as Buffy thrust into her. The bed creaked louder beneath them. Their bodies, slick with their sweat now, moved together. Their scents filled the air. Faith's arms and legs were wrapped around Buffy, holding on tight to her. Faith's pussy clamped down on the dildo as it filled her.

When Faith came, bucking underneath Buffy, her whole body trembling, Buffy came with her. Buffy wasn't prepared for it; her orgasm snuck up on her, as if it was in direct response to Faith's. Suddenly, without warning, Buffy had felt like she was caught up in a tidal wave. She screamed as she rode the wave, as it crashed through her; she grabbed the bedsheets, and ripped through them with her fingernails. Faith was crying underneath her, sobbing and wailing, and hugging Buffy as hard as she could.

Buffy held Faith to her breasts, as the tidal wave subsided, and she whispered that it would be okay...she whispered to Faith that she loved her, and would always take care of her, and that it would be okay...

Faith always cried when she came. Buffy always held her, and kissed her, and told her it would be okay.

This time, Buffy cried too.

"So where is everyone again?" Faith said. They were sitting in the kitchen half an hour later, eating waffles and bacon. They'd realized after they finished fucking that they'd had a whole lot of sex since they'd got up that morning but hadn't had a single thing to eat. Being a Slayer meant you were either hunting, horny or hungry at all times and right now it was time to be hungry. They attacked the waffles and bacon like two lions charging a herd of antelope.

"Will and Xander had some errands to do," Buffy said. "They'll be back before sunset. Those wolf vamps are pretty out there but they're still vamps. They won't make a play for Will during the day. And they've got the car anyway, and Giles is with them."

"Too bad. I wanted to see what kind of breakfast Xan Man can do."

"Well, it is pretty far past breakfast."

"Yeah. When we get into it we really get into it. Time flies when you're having fun."

"And then comes to a crashing halt when you make me come and I destroy the alarm clock."

"Told you. Gonna have to tie you up."

"I've been a bad girl," Buffy said. "Anyway you're just gonna have to make do with Buffy's world-famous waffles."

"That stuff you were sayin' about Will," Faith said. "About her eyes goin' all black and stuff, and how she acts kinda different now when she's doin' the spells. What do you think it means?"

"Wish I knew. It's only been going on for a couple of months, but..."

"It started with the lightning, right? That was the first time you saw her eyes do that?"

"Yeah."

"You know what almost happened to her that night."

"Yeah. But you stopped it. Another one of the things I owe you that I can never pay back."

Faith took Buffy's hand, and kissed it. "We both owe each other a lot of stuff, B," she said. "Anyway...maybe all this stuff with Will...maybe it's like a phase. Maybe she just needs time to deal with all the crazy shit that's goin' on and eventually she'll settle down."

Buffy saw Willow, sitting in the closet...swallowed up by the darkness.

She saw her black eyes.

Some things are just gonna happen, no matter how hard we try to stop them, Buffy saw Willow saying.

They're inevitable.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "Maybe."

Buffy and Faith sat on the couch in the living room after they were through eating, and held hands, and kissed.

"I like it...when it's like this," Faith said. "I mean yeah, gettin' horizontal is great too but...when it's like this...it's just..."

"Yeah," Buffy said, and caressed her cheek. "Yeah, baby. It is."

Buffy laid her head down in Faith's lap, and Faith stroked her hair.

"You're really worried about Willow," Faith said.

Buffy nodded.

"Whatever comes, we'll deal with it, honey," Faith said. "We'll deal with it, okay? You and me."

"Okay," Buffy said.

Then she knelt down in front of Faith, and smiled.

What are you doin' down there?" Faith said. "Are you being a bad girl?"

Buffy nodded. Faith was wearing one of Buffy's skirts again. Buffy reached under it, and started pulling Faith's panties down.

The doorbell rang.

"Shit," Buffy said, and they both giggled. They kissed.

"Plenty of time to make me purr later, honey," Faith whispered in her ear. She pulled up her panties and smoothed down her skirt.

"Yeah. And, hey, you know what?" Buffy said, and smiled as she got up and walked to the door. "That's probably Giles at the door. Can you run up to my room and grab the Key? It's in one of the drawers of my bureau, I forget which. He'll wanna see it. New ancient evil artifacts always get him excited."

"Sure," Faith said, and walked out of the room. Buffy waited until she heard her going up the stairs, and then opened the door. Willow and Xander and Giles were standing there. Willow had a big shopping bag in her hand, and Xander was carrying a pastry box and a case of Rolling Rock beer. Giles had a leather satchel over his shoulder.

"We swung by Tara's place?" Willow said. "Went by a couple of times, but she wasn't there and her car was gone. Sorry."

"Okay, we tried," Buffy said, and let them in. "We can try calling her later tonight. You guys got all the stuff?"

"Yup," Willow said. "Found the coat for you. It's really nice. I kinda want it for myself. I'm all jealous."

"Yeah, actually when I saw it in the store I kinda thought it would look pretty on me too," Buffy said. "But--"

Willow suddenly put her shopping bag down, and took Buffy's hands in hers, and started quivering with excitement. "But oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God Buffy! You won't believe what I found when I did an internet search on Becca," she said. "Giles had me like, downloading Becca's Watchers diaries from the Council database for Faith? And then I started digging around and I found...oh my God you won't believe it!"

"Won't believe it? Believe what?" Buffy said.

"Not telling," Willow said, and giggled. "Faith needs to hear it first."

"She's been like this for the past hour," Xander said, and set the pastry box and the case of beer down on the table. "She's been grinning like a lunatic and getting all shaky like she's about to meet James Van Der Beek."

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God!" Willow squealed.

"Yes, well, be that as it may, I just want you to know I refuse to wear one of those party hats," Giles said. "I'm drawing a firm line. No hat. How's Faith?"

"Almost a hundred percent," Buffy said. "She heals even faster than me."

"Really?" Giles said. "Splendid. I still want to have a look at her though."

"Okay, now everybody put your party hats on," Buffy said. "Quick, before she comes back down."

Willow pulled five party hats from the shopping bag. Xander and Willow and Buffy each put one on. Buffy looked at Giles, with a party hat in her hand.

"Please?" Buffy said. "With crumpets on top?"

"You're going to make me wear that, aren't you?" Giles said. "You're going to stand there looking at me like that until I put that bloody thing on."

"Your Slayer is always right," Buffy said.

Giles sighed, and put the party hat on. Buffy kissed his cheek.

"I'm a lesbian and Faith and I are dating," Buffy said. "So what's new with you?"

Xander giggled. Willow laughed out loud.

"Yes," Giles said with a sigh, and wiped his glasses at her. "Since I'm not deaf, dumb and blind I was able to figure that out."

"Are you okay with it?" Buffy said. "With me and Faith? Giles, it's... really important to me that you're okay with it."

"Yes," he said, and smiled. "As long as you're both happy."

"Okay," Buffy said. "Good. And hey, I've um, been meaning to ask you something. Do you...would you like to...go to the ice capades with me? It's...in town for a little while longer." She looked down at the floor. "I mean, y'know, if, you're real busy with Watcher stuff, hey, no big, I'll understand..."

He smiled again. "Yes Buffy, I'd love to take you to the ice capades," he said. "And was that how you're planning on telling Joyce about you and Faith?"

Buffy grinned. "Think it'll work?" she said.

Faith walked into the room, with the Key in her hand.

"Hey," she said. "What's with the...?"

"Happy birthday, baby!" Buffy said, and ran up to her with a big smile, and threw her arms around her. "Um, one day late but, y'know, it's not like you actually told us or anything."

Buffy kissed her, a little peck on the lips. Faith blushed.

"Everybody knows," Buffy said, and put a party hat on Faith's head. "They're all cool with it. They're all cool with how you're a big huge lesbian and you totally seduced me."

Faith started giggling.

"Okay, so, cake and presents," Buffy said. "Let's--"

"Me first, me first!" Willow squealed, and ran up to Faith and took her hands. "Faith, you are not going to believe this," she said.

"Hey girlfriend, what's up?" Faith said. "You look like someone just sent you a Brad Pitt strip-o-gram."

"This is better than a Brad Pitt strip-o-gram," Willow said. "It might even be better than a James Van Der Beek strip-o-gram."

"Get outta here," Faith said. "Okay, spill."

"Giles was doing some research, Watchers Council stuff, and he needed me to help him access some records online. Faith...Becca's estate..."

"Becca...what? Her estate?"

"She had no living relatives," Willow said. "She left everything to you."

"What?" Xander said, and came over to them with Giles.

"Oh my God," Buffy said.

"Becca...she left...everything to me?" Faith said.

"Faith," Willow said, and put her hands on Faith's shoulders. "Becca's family was rich. Becca left you more than a hundred and fifty million dollars."

"Oh my...fricking God," Xander said.

"My word," Giles said, and wiped his glasses, and put them on, and took them back off, and started wiping them again.

"Will...are you sure?" Buffy said. "Are you totally sure?"

Faith just stood there, looking back at Willow, in a daze.

"I triple-checked, and I even put in a call to the law firm handling Becca's estate in England," Willow said. "I talked to one of their solicitors at home. They've been looking for you, Faith. All you have to do is walk into their offices and claim the money. And it's not just money, it's property too, Becca's family had an estate in England. It's yours now, Faith. It's all yours."

"Becca always took care of me," Faith said. "I guess...she still is."

Faith sat on the couch. Buffy sat with her, and hugged her.

"I think she wanted to be with you today, baby," Buffy said. "I think Rebecca wanted to celebrate your birthday with us, and give you a present too, and let you know she loves you."

Faith nodded, and smiled, and started to cry.

Fifteen

THE WORST THING

"So, um, it's kinda hard to compare with a hundred and fifty million dollars," Willow said. "But, um, I got you this." She held out a gift-wrapped box.

Buffy and Willow and Xander sat by Faith on the couch. Giles sat in one of the dark wood chairs on the other side of the coffee table. Hip-hop music boogied out from the sound system, but not too loud; Buffy had said they needed to create "a Giles-safe zone". He had made tea and was doing what he considered to be an admirable job of not outwardly showing his contempt for the hip-hop music. They all sipped the tea, and they each had a slice of the big chocolate birthday cake that sat on the coffee table with eighteen candles on it. The Key, a small, smooth black stone about the size of a deck of cards, sat on the table, next to the cake. Willow looked at it. She'd been having a hard time taking her eyes off it ever since Faith brought it into the room...she didn't know why.

"What, you sayin' you're not all givin' me a hundred and fifty million bucks?" Faith said, and tore the gift-wrap off the box. "Total rip."

It was a shoe box.

"Does that say Givenchy?" Buffy said. "My heart just skipped a beat."

Faith opened the box, and pulled out the exquisite Givenchys that she had tried on with Buffy in the shoe store the month before.

"Oh my God!" Buffy said. "Those are the Givenchys! Those are the Givenchys I told you about that Faith and I completely drooled over last month!

"Yup, when you told me how Faith's eyes lit up when she tried them on I knew what I was getting her for her birthday," Willow said.

"They have those...strappy things and...they're all like...really silvery and...the heel's perfect and...oh my God I hate you both forever now," Buffy said.

"Will, these are...these are beautiful," Faith said. "But...you shouldn't have spent so much, I mean...these had to be..."

"Sweetie, you're worth it," Willow said.

"Want a car?" Faith said.

"Sure," Willow said. "Besides, I have a hook-up at Nordstrom's now. Buffy, you remember Julie Weiss? She was on the cheerleading squad with you, for like, um, that one day you were on the cheerleading squad?"

"Yeah," Buffy said. "She was the only one who was nice to me."

"Still got the outfit?" Faith said, and raised her eyebrow at Buffy, and took a big bite of her chocolate cake.

"Yeah," Buffy said, and blushed a little.

"Um...anyway," Willow said, noticing Giles wiping his glasses. "She needed help getting ready for finals last year because her mother was in the hospital and she missed a lot of days. Since she was nice to you I tutored her. And she just got a job at Nordstrom's and she said she'll use her employee discount for me whenever I want. Faith, try 'em on! I wanna bask in the fabulousness."

Faith took off her boots and socks, and put the shoes on.

"How do they feel, Cinderella?" Buffy said.

"Nope, she's Dorothy," Willow said. "I'm the Good Witch. I give out shoes. Couldn't find ruby slippers but Givenchys will do in a pinch. I bet if Glinda gave out Givenchys Dorothy would've stayed up in Oz forever."

Faith stood up and walked around in them. She still limped slightly, but not as much as before. "Awesome," Faith said. "I'm just lovin' my new kicks." She gave Willow a hug. "Thanks, Will," she said.

"I'm so borrowing those," Buffy said.

"Sure, hon, you can borrow 'em," Faith said, and sat back down with Buffy and put her arm around her. "If you ask me real nice. So Will, if I click my heels and say 'no place like home' what happens?"

"You end up right here with us, sweetie," Willow said.

"Cool," Faith said, and smiled.

"Although it's endlessly fun listening to gals talk about shoes, how about we get to my present now," Xander said.

"Case of beer?" Faith said. "I'm diggin' that present, especially now that I'm eighteen and Becca's okay with me drinking now."

"Beer's for me," Xander said, and leaned down to the big shopping bag on the floor, and pulled a gift-wrapped bottle out of it. "This is for you."

Faith took the bottle, and unwrapped it. It was a bottle of Cristal champagne.

"At the Bronze you always say how you don't want to drink until you're eighteen, so I figured why not start with something awesome," Xander said.

"Dude, maybe Willow's got the shoe store hook-up but I know you totally spent too much on this," Faith said.

"Saved my girl. Twice. I'd buy you all the champagne in the world if I could," Xander said, and kissed her cheek. "How about we open it up, have a toast to the birthday girl?"

"Sorry Xander," Buffy said, and took the bottle. "No alcohol while Faith's on the morphine."

"Crap," Xander said.

"It's cool Xan Man, we'll get to it," Faith said, and hugged him. "Thanks. It's an awesome present. You and Will, you're both awesome friends. And I'm not feelin' any pain anymore, so I figure I'll be off the morphine soon."

"Well you should only take it as needed," Giles said. "If you're not feeling pain it's safe to skip your next dose."

"Your next dose is in an hour," Buffy said, and played with Faith's hair. "If you still feel good we'll skip it. Just let me know if any pain comes back."

"If she doesn't take any more she can have some champagne later on tonight," Giles said. "But while we're on the subject, Faith, I'd like to have a look at you, and see how you're healing up."

"Uh...healing up okay," Faith said.

"You should let him look, Faith," Buffy said. "He's better with medicine stuff than me, he fixes me up all the time. And he's totally not a pervert."

"Yes, thank you Buffy, that's very kind," Giles said, sighing at her.

"How about we just get it over with now," Buffy said. "We'll go in the kitchen. I'll be right there with you. Okay?"

"Uh...okay," Faith said.

Faith sat at the kitchen table. Giles and Buffy sat on either side of her. Buffy had her arm around her, and was running her fingers through her hair.

"All right, I'm going to have a look at your ankle first," Giles said.

"Uh...okay," Faith said, and lifted her foot. Giles took her foot in his lap. He gently took Faith's shoe off, and probed her ankle.

"And there's no pain?" Giles said.

"Uh, nope," Faith said. She blushed. "Hasn't hurt since this morning. Still just a little bit gimpy though."

"There's still some bruising, and a bit of swelling. It may not hurt but it's not a hundred percent either," Giles said. "You can walk on this, but if you think you can fight on it, you'd be wrong. It's still weak and you would re-injure it very quickly. Have you been wearing an ice pack?"

"Yeah, I've been putting the ice pack on her for like, half an hour every four hours like you said," Buffy said.

"Keep doing it until tomorrow," Giles said, and let Faith's ankle go. "Put another pressure bandage on too." Faith put her shoe back on. "If you keep using the ice packs and the pressure bandage, then at this rate, by this time tomorrow, it should be completely healed. May I look at your arm, Faith?"

"Okay," Faith said, and held out her right arm. She couldn't quite stretch it out all the way. Giles ran his fingers along the arm, from the elbow to the hand.

"The break is healed but there's obviously still some tendon damage," he said. "It needs another day or two. I want you to wear an ice pack on it."

"Okay," Buffy said.

"The bruises are nearly gone," Giles said. "Are the rest all like this?"

"Yeah," Buffy said. "They're all yellowish and fading fast."

"Excellent," Giles said. "I believe you do heal faster than Buffy, a good bit faster. Interesting."

"But I'm like, totally more stealthy and quiet than her," Buffy said. "Most of the time," she added, with a smile, as she played with Faith's hair.

"Actually it would be interesting to run some tests on the two of you," Giles said. "I'd like to measure your relative strength and speed some time. May I look at your stomach wound now, Faith? And then we can get back to the party."

"Uh...yeah. Uh, okay," Faith said, blushing again. She rather nervously unbuttoned the bottom three buttons of her blouse.

"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, Faith," Giles said.

"It's...okay, Giles," Faith said. "You're not a pervert or nothin'."

"Yes, I do try," Giles said. "Where's your bandage?"

"I didn't think she needed it anymore," Buffy said. "The wound's all like, pinkish now. I thought it was like, healed."

"It basically is, I just like being safe rather than sorry," Giles said. "I want you to clean it again after the party and put another bandage on it. Just for tonight. Tomorrow, as long as it still looks good, you can stop bandaging it. All right, the exam's over." Giles stood up, and Faith buttoned her blouse.

"Wasn't so bad," Faith said.

"I just worry about my Slayers," Giles said, and smiled down at her. "Anyway at this rate you'll be shipshape and Bristol fashion in no time."

"I'll be what in who?" Faith said.

"British thing," Buffy said. "Means you'll be all healed up."

"You're a trip, G-Man," Faith said, and giggled like a girl.

"Okay, weird slightly uncomfortable medical exam over, time to party again," Buffy said, as they walked back into the room.

The thought kept pushing at Buffy's mind...that her time was running out. She made herself keep smiling.

Buffy and Faith sat on the couch next to Willow and Xander, and Giles returned to his chair. Buffy reached down into the shopping bag. "Okay, this one's mine," she said, and pulled out a long gift-wrapped box, and handed it to Faith. "Um...I really hope you like it. If you don't I can always take it back."

"Take it back?" Faith said, and ripped off the wrapping paper. "Why would I wanna do that?" Faith opened the box, and pulled out the long, red leather coat she had tried on with Buffy in Bloomingdale's the month before.

She looked at the coat. She stood up, and held it up in front of her.

"Um...it's just...you only have the one coat," Buffy said. "I thought... maybe you could use another one. And you looked so beautiful in it when you tried it on before. If...you don't like it..."

Faith looked at her. Buffy was looking at the floor.

"I love it, Buffy," Faith said, and smiled, and leaned down and kissed her cheek. "This is gonna be my coat. That other one...it can go in the closet from now on. Okay?"

"Okay," Buffy said, and smiled.

Willow smiled too, and squeezed Buffy's hand.

"Um, and can I just mention that Buffy had me pick it up and I almost stole it for myself?" Willow said. "That thing just radiates fabulousness."

"It's pretty damn fab," Faith said. "My arm's still not all there. Help me put it on, Buffy? I wanna wear it."

Buffy stood up and helped Faith get into the coat.

"You look great in it," Buffy said.

"Yeah?" Faith said, as Buffy turned her around in the coat to get a complete view.

"Yup," Xander said. "Seconded."

"Yeah, baby," Buffy said. "You're beautiful."

"Yes, quite fetching," Giles said.

"That coat's neat," Willow said. "Every Slayer should have a coat like that."

"Actually I think you're right, Will," Faith said, holding the coat open and looking inside. "It's a got a nice deep pocket inside here that would be just the perfect spot for my stake."

"Yeah you know, I think we're on to something with this whole long coat look," Xander said. "It's like Brandon Lee in The Crow. You and Buffy should wear long coats all the time when you're out slaying from now on. It's just so film noir. Dark, rainy night, neon signs reflecting in the street puddles..."

"The party hat interferes with the look," Willow said.

"Hey, you have your stake with you?" Xander said. "Let's see you in the coat holding a stake in your hand."

"Nah, lost it at the Bronze," Faith said.

"I have one in my purse," Buffy said.

"No need," Giles said, and stood up, and pulled a stake from his coat pocket. "One of my presents to you, Faith," he said. "The stake you were using had a crack in it and it was the wrong weight and size for optimum fighting. It looked like an old piano leg."

"It was an old piano leg," Faith said.

"This one isn't," Giles said, and held the stake out to Faith. "At the Council we employ craftsmen who create stakes; it may sound like a trifle but a good stake can make a real difference in a fight. It's perfectly balanced, just the right weight, and in your hands it will be absolutely lethal."

Faith took it.

"It's good solid ironwood and it will last you a good long time," Giles said.

Faith looked at the stake, got a feel for it in her hand. It was very dark brown, smooth and polished. Faith liked the grain of the wood. She liked the way it fit in her hand.

"Thank you, Giles," she said.

"Of course," Giles said. "You're my Slayer."

"How come I don't get a super-duper perfectly balanced kick-ass stake?" Buffy said.

"You already have one," Giles said. "You have Kendra's."

"But how come Mr. Pointy looks different than this one?" Buffy said.

"Do you actually call it 'Mr. Pointy'?" Giles said, frowning at her.

"Um...no," Buffy said.

"Yours is really no different," Giles said. "It's also ironwood but a different species. Yours is a little lighter in color but no less strong. Both your stake and Faith's will sink in water and are extremely resistant to damage. They'll never break on you in the field."

"I dig it," Faith said. "Fits me like a glove. Becca gave me one just like it."

"Faith, hold up the stake," Willow said. "Vogue for us, sweetie. Strike a pose. Be all, y'know, Slayerish. Um, but first take off the party hat."

Faith took off her hat, spun around while holding the stake by her side, and suddenly held the stake up like she was pulling a gun out of its holster.

"I'm Faith, the Vampire Slayer," she said, with a sexy grin. "All you vamps? Best get to runnin'." She twirled the stake around her fingers like she was twirling a gun and 'holstered' it in her coat pocket.

"Nice, with the twirly trick," Xander said. "Style points."

"So whaddaya think?" Faith said. "Am I rockin' the coat?"

"Definitely," Willow said.

"What's the verdict, B?" Faith said, looking down at Buffy.

Buffy took her hand, and brought her down onto the couch beside her, and kissed her.

"My heart's going pitter-patter, baby," Buffy said.

Giles started wiping his glasses. Willow smiled, and looked away, and took Xander's hand.

"Now we've got a party. Where's my video camera?" Xander said. "Ow," he added, as Willow did something to his leg.

"You're gonna make the G-Man blush, B," Faith said, and threw Giles a frisky smile, and raised her eyebrow at him.

Giles surprised her by smiling back.

"It takes quite a lot to make me blush, Faith," Giles said.

"Giles had a wild, misspent youth," Buffy said. And by the way? I'm so borrowing that coat."

"Long as you ask nice, girlfriend," Faith said.

"I'd look so great in that coat," Buffy said. "And so begins the jealousy."

"Hey," Willow said. "Giles...about your um, misspent youth? What were you doing in 1972?"

Willow and Buffy exchanged a glance.

"In 1972?" Giles said.

"There's like...this history project at school," Willow said. "We gotta write, um, reports on the seventies? And I got assigned 1972."

"Well let's see...I would've been seventeen then...I suppose I was smoking dope, rebelling against my father, getting in fights, the usual. Also, telling girls I was a member of Pink Floyd." Giles grinned. "Worked like a charm."

"Seriously?" Faith said, and grinned back, and tried to figure out whether or not she was being kidded.

"Seriously," Buffy said. "I'll tell you some old Giles stories sometime. He might have worn tweed diapers but once he hit the terrible teens he was a witchcraft-practicing, demon-summoning rebel without a cause. Had a way with the ladies from what we've heard, too. C'mon, Giles, tell us about some of those seventies hotties you were always hooking up with. Meet any fabulous witchy chicks in 1972?"

"No, can't say I did," Giles said. "That year I was dating this terribly old-fashioned girl from Bristol, she wouldn't even let me..."

Faith grinned, and raised her eyebrow

"That is...yes, well, anyway," Giles said, and coughed, and wiped his glasses. "I was in a depressingly monogamous relationship that year. No fabulous witches, or any witches in fact. By then I was knocking about with various troublemakers but none of the magical variety yet. The demon-summoning and so forth didn't start until I dropped out of Oxford a few years later."

"No witches, huh?" Willow said. "When did you meet your first witch, anyway? Or like, see anything magical? When did you first see anything that was like, y'know, weird and spooky?"

"Well my father always told me stories but I didn't encounter anything out of the realm of the ordinary until 1975," Giles said. "I remember it was that year because I was listening to Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here at the time; it had just come out a few days before. Brilliant album. Anyway I saw a minor parasite demon lurking about under a bridge one night and we shared a bottle of whisky together. I dropped out of school the next day."

"Nothing weird in your life until 1975, huh?" Buffy said. "No weird stuff in 1972 at all?"

"No," Giles said. "And this is for a history report?"

"Yeah," Willow said. "Um...we can do our report on like, any aspect of history for the year we got assigned and I'm focusing on the counter-culture. I thought maybe you'd have some interesting 1972 stories."

"Sorry, afraid not," Giles said. "Other than some petty theft, breaking and entering and getting into fights, my life was rather boring. Though I did drink with Keith Richards once that year. The Stones were touring England that summer. Or a least I think it was Keith Richards. I'd had quite a lot to drink that night. He said he was Keith Richards. But anyway, let's move on from the 1970's, shall we? The less said about the 1970's, the better. I have two other gifts for you, Faith. "First..." He took an envelope from his coat pocket and handed it across to Faith. "Rebecca mentioned in her letter that you like to read."

Faith opened the envelope. There was a gift certificate inside.

"I know you didn't bring any books with you here, so I thought this would start you off nicely," Giles said. "Of course, that was before I knew you could buy and sell the lot of us many, many times over..."

"Two-hundred bucks worth of books? Awesome, G-Man, thanks!" Faith said. "Haven't had much time for reading lately, but yeah, I wanna get back to it. I never used to read, Becca got me into it. She wants me to read. Actually I was in the middle of a book when all this went down, so yeah, it'll be good to pick it up again. I really wanna get back to it."

"Yes, and perhaps you can buy a book for Buffy as well," Giles said.

"Good luck," Buffy said.

"You don't like reading, B?" Faith said.

"Not so much," Buffy said. "Once I got over dinosaurs when I was ten it was all about boys and shoes. What book were you in the middle of? Was it about dinosaurs? Was it about shoes? I'll read it with you if it's got dinosaurs or shoes."

"The Scarlet Letter," Faith said. "It's about..."

"Sin," Buffy said. Willow looked at her.

"And redemption, Buffy," Willow said. Buffy nodded, and looked away.

"Yeah," Faith said. "Or at least tryin' for it. Anyway, thanks, G-Man. Gonna be awhile 'til I can get out to England to claim that money anyway. I mean, we got all these wolf vamps here to worry about."

"If you want I'll go out with you and handle the details, when you're ready," Giles said. "I'm still officially a practicing solicitor."

"That like a lawyer?" Faith said.

"Yes, in England," Giles said. "I can represent you, get you through the red tape. And I can make sure you don't end up losing too much of your money to the bloody tax collectors." He smiled. "No charge, of course."

"Thanks G-Man, that's pretty cool of you," Faith said. "Want a car?"

"That's quite all right, Faith," Giles said. "But it's a lovely thought."

"Gettin' you a car anyway," Faith said. "You're too much of a hottie to be putt-puttin' around in that little French thing. You need a Porsche, man. Gonna have you toolin' around town in no time."

"Yeah, I think Faith's right, Giles," Xander said. "As much as we all... uh...really love the Citroen? We all actually really hate it even more."

"It's a classic French automobile," Giles and Xander both said at the exact same time. Then they both frowned at each other.

"It's a go-cart, G-Man. Gettin' you a Porsche. A red Porsche," Faith said.

"A red one?" Giles said, and smiled, warming up to the idea.

"Hey Will, let me show you something real quick," Buffy said, and took Willow's hand. "Remember that, um, crystal I found? Can you take a quick look at it for me, see if it's all on the up and up? I got it up in my room."

"Um...sure," Willow said.

"Well, whoever I'm looking for in England in 1972, I guess it isn't Giles," Willow said, as they walked into Buffy's room.

"Guess not," Buffy said. "We basically asked him as straight-out as we could without actually saying, 'Hey, so did Willow come up to you in 1972 and say you were gonna be part of a big apocalyptic battle in the future?' Actually we came pretty close to saying that."

"We didn't score big on subtlety," Willow said, and sat on Buffy's bed. "But the history report story seemed to work okay."

"Giles thinks we're a bunch of crazy nonsense-talking Americans," Buffy said, and looked out the window. The sun was setting. Her time was almost gone. "He never really expects to understand what we're saying anyway. So...are we keeping it just between us?"

"I don't know. With time travel...I mean...we could end up changing stuff by mistake...like...in all the Star Trek episodes, in all the movies, if you do one little thing wrong? Suddenly it's like, bang, the Nazis won World War Two. I just...want to be careful with this. We can tell Faith and Xander but...Giles would get all...he'd be like, asking a million questions about it and if he put it in his Watcher diary then the Council would find out and who knows what they'd do."

"Yeah. Never really trusted those guys. Plus if there were suddenly Nazis everywhere I'd be annoyed."

"So, this isn't about crystals. Was the 1972 thing what you wanted to talk about?"

"No," Buffy said, and sat next to her on the bed. "There's a couple of things...first, I wanted to just talk to you about...your magic. How your eyes go black sometimes."

"You're afraid of me," Willow said. "After last night at Angel's place..."

"Will, I could never be afraid of you," Buffy said. "Sure, I know you're powerful. But I know you'd never hurt me, or anyone else you care about. I know what's in your heart. I know you're a good person. But...I'm worried about you, Will. About you hurting yourself. This power...coming all at once, so fast...I just... wish you'd slow down a little. Give yourself time."

Willow got up, and walked to the window, and stood beside Buffy. They watched the sunset together.

"I was always afraid, Buffy," Willow said. "Afraid to let myself get angry. I thought I was, y'know, a nerd because I was afraid of other people, just...all doormat Willow. Need Willow to do your homework? No problem. Wanna insult Willow to show off to the cool kids, maybe get in good with Cordy? No problem. Weeping Willow, she'll just stand there and take it. I thought it was because I was afraid of them. Turns out I was afraid of me. I don't know why. But I couldn't...I had problems letting myself get angry. Letting myself feel, y'know, bad stuff."

Buffy took her hand.

"This power...I didn't ask for it," Willow said. "Not, y'know, even sure I want it. But...I'm connected to something. I feel like I'm vibrating sometimes, Buffy. Like...I can feel the whole world...creating echoes in me."

She looked at Buffy. Willow's eyes were green, now...but Buffy still remembered how they looked when she sat in the closet...

"And part of the world is dark," Willow said. "I can feel its teeth. And this power...a lot of it comes from my anger. I need to let myself feel it, feel bad stuff...then get past the bad stuff, to the other side of it. There's no way around the bad stuff. The only way past it is going through it."

"I trust you, Will," Buffy said. "Last night, I put my life in your hands, because I trust you. I know you'd never hurt us."

"I want to help, Buffy. I want to fight by your side."

"Okay. But promise me one thing?"

"Name it."

"If things get hard...don't shut me out. Come to me if things get hard, if you start to wig out. Okay? That's it. Just come to me. Just talk to me."

"Okay," Willow said. "How are you and Faith?"

Buffy walked back to the bed, and sat down. She looked down at the floor.

"Guess we're about to find out," Buffy said. "She's gotta be told about Angel before he gets here."

Willow sat next to her.

"I like you with Faith," Willow said. "She makes you smile. And y'know, that's important to me. I need, y'know, like, a certain amount of Buffy smiles every day. Wasn't gettin' any for awhile. You were all mopey."

"I like me with Faith too," Buffy said. "She makes me laugh. She's such a goof. She's like, the goofiest Slayer ever."

"Have you two...said the words yet?"

"Yeah," Buffy said, and smiled. "She told me she loves me last night."

"Aw baby, I'm so happy for you!" Willow said, and laughed, and hugged her. "I'm so happy for you both. You're both like, my girls. I'm all like, just a big ol' proud auntie."

"Thanks. She...makes me happy. Which is pretty weird considering how much she used to annoy the frigging hell out of me. But I can never be annoyed at her anymore, for some reason. Believe me, I've tried."

"Remember when you first met Angel? He annoyed you. I think you being annoyed by someone is a sign that you wanna, y'know, get all snuggly with 'em."

"Well, Faith and I sure have come pretty far from that first day."

"I don't know," Willow said, and grinned. "I mean, you totally sexed her up that first day, what's really changed?"

"Okay, maybe you've got a point," Buffy said, and giggled.

"My two perverted little Slayers," Willow said. "You guys really were ridiculous with your lame lies. Coming to pick us up at Cordy's place wearing other people's clothes and being like, 'Well, um, we got blood on ours.' Plus you didn't have underwear on."

Buffy laughed.

"Even Xander almost didn't believe you that first day, I had to like embellish the lie for you a little and make it better," Willow said. "Plus I found other ways to get him to stop thinking about you guys."

"You sure did," Buffy said. "I'm happy for you guys too. He really loves you. When Xander and I talked last night...he told me how much he loves you."

"I know. We're...I talked to him, we're good now. The thing with you and him...I know that's way over with."

"Okay, good. I don't...want anything like that to come between us."

"It won't."

"So...we're good?" Buffy said. "You and me...we're good?"

"Yeah," Willow said, and squeezed her hand. "We're good, sweetie. Yesterday was a weird day for me, and Faith's memories...they sort of like, overwhelmed me. But, it's like how they say a good night's sleep changes everything? I woke up this morning feeling like, yeah, I can handle this. I can find my equilibrium. The thing is...these new feelings I have for you? They're always gonna be there, Buffy, but I just need to remember what they really are. They're Faith's. The whole liking girls thing...that's Faith. I mean, okay, sure, after getting all those memories I think I'm probably more open-minded about girls now? But...well...I still prefer thinking about Xander. Or James Van Der Beek. But not Xander and James Van Der Beek? Because that would just be gross."

"So...you're gonna tell Faith about how you have her memories today?"

"Yeah. I hope...it doesn't make things too weird between her and me."

"It won't. Just give her a little time, Will. She likes you."

"So like...with you two being big ol' lesbians, are you gonna be all checkin' out my booty all the time?" Willow said.

"Oh my God," Buffy said, and giggled.

"Are you and Faith gonna be all like, hey, let's have Willow over for a pajama party, Willow's hot. Let's like, totally sex her up."

Buffy threw her head back and laughed; her face was red.

"And then maybe you'll both be like, hey, here's an idea, let's have a pillow fight with Willow in our underwear!" Willow said, as Buffy kept laughing. "Because, not even kidding? If the three of us had a pillow-fight in our underwear and we filmed it for Xander he would give us a million dollars. Slow motion? Two million."

"I'm not...I promise I...oh my God..." Buffy said, laughing and trying to talk at the same time. "I promise...I promise I won't check out your booty."

"What do you mean you won't check out my booty?" Willow said. "What's wrong with my booty? It's a perfectly good booty! So, what, you're a lesbian now and you don't wanna check out my booty? What's that about?"

Buffy fell back on the bed, laughing so hard her face was the color of a plum and she had tears in her eyes. She tried to breathe.

"Please...please stop..." Buffy managed to say, between fits of hysterical laughter. "Please stop...? Before...my face explodes...?"

Willow giggled and rubbed Buffy's shoulder until Buffy got her breathing under control.

"I'll check you out a little, but not too much, okay Will?" Buffy finally said, once she could breathe again. "I'll check you out just the right amount."

"Okay," Willow said. "Sounds like a plan."

"Will..." Buffy said, and stopped smiling. "There's one more thing I wanted to talk about. I...need another favor."

"Sure, sweetie, what do you need?"

"I need you to tell Faith about Angel."

"What? Me? Why me?"

"She needs to hear it from someone objective. Someone who...when she hears it, she'll know it's all the truth."

"You don't think she'll believe you?"

"Will, he did horrible things when he lost his soul but I love him. I can't help loving him...even though I wish I didn't and I want to kill him for what he did to you. I was about to kill him yesterday. If you hadn't stopped me I would've. And he would've let me. I know he would've let me. But we need him. And...I still love him. You don't love him. But you're not biased against him the way Xander is either. Even with what Angelus did to you, you can still be objective. Faith needs to hear this, and she needs to hear it from you."

"Are you sure?" Willow said.

"Yeah, Will," Buffy said. "I am. I'm gonna have my hands full telling Giles all this stuff anyway, he needs to know."

"That'll be a fun conversation."

"Yeah. Gotta be done though. I bet he'll be all like, 'You know what? Hit the bricks, Faith's my girl now.'"

"He'd never say that, Buffy! Yeah, Faith's his Slayer now too, but you'll always be...you'll always be Buffy. You're his girl."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Buffy. I am. A hundred percent. Um...but there's gonna be a lotta grumpiness first. But it'll be proper British grumpiness."

"Will...I want you to tell her everything. Tell her everything and let her decide, let her decide about Angel...about me. Tell her the good and the bad. Tell her about the good stuff he did, but tell her every single thing that happened last summer too...including Los Angeles."

"Everything? Everything that happened in Los Angeles?"

"Yeah, Will. Everything. The photos, and everything else. She needs to know and...I love her. I love her and I can't have any of this be a secret from her. And I need to know she'll believe it, that she won't think I'm leaving stuff out or glossing over stuff because I love him too. I love Angel but...I hate him now. I know it was Angelus, but...I still won't ever forgive him for what he did to you. And Faith's the one I've chosen. And I need her to know. Every single thing that happened, Willow. Tell her every single thing that happened, don't leave a single thing out. Can you...can you do this for me?"

"Yeah. Um...are you...gonna tell Giles everything too? Even about Los Angeles?"

"Yeah. I've kept too much stuff from him and all he's ever done is try to be there for me. No more lies. They just make this whole thing harder...on all of us. I'll tell Giles, and you tell Faith, and we'll let them decide about all this for themselves."

"Buffy...we can't tell Xander about what Angelus did to me."

"He'd try to kill Angel."

"Yeah, but more than that? Once he calmed down and realized there's no way he'd actually be able to kill Angel? He'd say you and Faith should kill Angel. And if you didn't he'd make you choose, Buffy. Between Angel and him. We need Angel right now for this big thing with the wolf vamps, and Xander understands that? But even so, he'd still make you choose. If Xander finds out about what Angelus did to me you'll lose him for good. And he wouldn't want me anywhere near you either, and then he'd make me choose too...between you and him. We can't ever tell him, Buffy."

"Not ever?"

"Not while Angel's alive at least."

"Will...I'd choose Xander. I'd choose Xander if I had to choose."

"Wouldn't be enough. Unless you killed Angel, Xander wouldn't want us being friends anymore. He'd make me choose. Even if you did kill Angel, Xander still wouldn't want me helping you out anymore after what Angelus did. I think... he'd try to stop me from helping anymore, or a least try to limit it. Like, no more going out in the field. Only doing magic from like, some safe place away from the fighting. If Xander finds out what Angelus did to me, that's the end of us, Buffy. The Scooby Gang, all of it...it would be finished."

"So...you're gonna keep this a secret from Xander? Like, forever?"

"Yeah. Gotta be done. I want to help, Buffy. I want to be part of the fight. And I want Xander too. This is the only way I can have both."

"Will...I want Faith to know about Angel. Everything about him, including how bad he was when he was Angelus. I don't want to ever keep secrets from her again. But I know what he did to you was...a really...personal thing. And...if you don't want Faith to know about it...I get that. I understand that. You can leave that part out, and I won't ever tell her."

"Faith can know. I know everything about her...I know all the hard stuff she went through. So she can know about me too...she can know about my hard stuff. She'll just have to keep the secret from Xander too. Just me, you and Faith will know what Angelus did to me. I don't want anyone else to ever know, Buffy. Not Xander, or Giles or anyone. Just us three girls."

"It's funny. I'm wondering what Faith will think about this, and I'm trying to decide how to answer you if you ask me what I think Faith will do. And now I'm realizing that if anyone knows what Faith will do here, it's you. You know her better than me...better than anyone."

"She'll keep the secret," Willow said. "Even if she decides to go after Angel, she'll still keep the secret. She'll do it for me. We're her family, remember? Faith is committed to us now. She doesn't want her family to break up. She doesn't want to lose any of us. If she has to keep a secret from Xander to keep us together, she will."

"Yeah," Buffy said. "I think you're right."

"But...Angel's a different story. He's not part of her family. Letting him live is just asking Faith to make a tactical decision. But there are tactical arguments against letting him live too. Yeah, we need Angel for this, but letting him live means Angelus could get loose again someday. Faith might think it's smarter to kill Angel while we have the chance than wait for Angelus to get loose again. And remember my philosophy? Becca's always right?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Faith's philosophy. And if Becca was here she'd say we should kill Angel. I know that, so Faith knows it. So what if Faith decides the best thing to do is to follow Becca's advice?"

"I'll handle it," Buffy said. "And hey, who knows? Maybe she'll decide the best thing to do is leave me."

"Buffy, she won't do that. Faith won't do that," Willow said.

Buffy burst into tears.

"Hey!" Willow said, and hugged her. "Buffy, it's...it's okay, sweetie. It's okay."

"I'm scared, Willow!" Buffy said. "I've, I've been scared all day! My baby's gonna leave! When she finds out about Angel...my baby's gonna leave me...she's gonna leave me."

"She's not," Willow said, and held her tight. "She's not."

"Faith's gonna leave me, she's gonna leave me..." Buffy whispered, and cried in Willow's arms...

"Can it be a 986 Boxter?" Giles said.

"Sure, G," Faith said.

"Can it have a CD player?" Giles said.

"Absolutely," Faith said. "How else am I gonna crank up my tunes while you're chaufferin' me around? You and me are gonna be stylin', G."

"Let's talk about my jeep again," Xander said.

"Sorry Xander, I gotta borrow her," Buffy said, as she walked into the room. Faith, Giles and Xander were sitting on the couch together, sipping tea and eating cake. Faith was still wearing the red leather coat. She had a box full of papers in her lap. "Actually I gotta borrow Giles in a minute too," Buffy said. "So, um, Xander, remember that TV show you really wanted to watch? Remember how you said you wanted to stay right here and watch the TV show and not come upstairs for any reason until the show's over?"

"That show," Xander said. "Yeah, I remember that show. I think it comes on right around now."

"Giles, I need to talk to you in private, but not right this second. First I need Faith in the kitchen. Just gimme a minute, okay?"

"Is everything all right?" Giles said. He knew his Slayer: something was wrong. It wasn't what she was saying. It was the way she was saying it.

Buffy sat on the arm of the couch, and played with Faith's hair. "In a few minutes you can tell me," she said. "Faith? C'mere, I want to talk to you in the kitchen about something."

"Uh...yeah, okay," Faith said, and got up, and followed Buffy into the kitchen.

"Xander, do you have any idea what's going on?" Giles said.

"Yeah," Xander said.

"Tell me. What is it? Is Buffy all right?"

"Not my place to say. Buffy has to tell you herself. Giles...you care about Buffy, right?"

"What kind of a bloody stupid question is that?" Giles said. "Of course I care about Buffy. And I'm in no mood for your half-arsed antics tonight. Tell me what's going on."

"I can't, Giles," Xander said. "But...when Buffy talks to you?" Xander put his hand on Giles' shoulder. "Just remember that you care about her. Remember how hard last summer was on her. Remember that everything she's done? She's done because she cares about us...about you. So just...cut her some slack. Okay?"

"What's up, B?" Faith said. Buffy sat down at the kitchen table. Faith sat beside her. Buffy ran her fingers through Faith's hair. Faith smiled.

The moment was here...Buffy knew her time was up.

"What's with the box full of paper?" Buffy said. "Giles finally making good on his threat to give us homework?"

"Nah. It's one of his presents to me," Faith said. "These are Becca's Watcher diaries. G-Man downloaded them from the Council database for me. This is like...everything Becca ever wrote from the day she joined the Watchers. The potentials she trained, everything all the way up through findin' me and training me. G-Man...he's really cool."

"Yeah," Buffy said, as she ran her fingers through Faith's hair, and just looked at her. "He is. I love you, Faith."

"I love you too, Buffy," Faith said, and smiled...but something was wrong. She saw something wrong, in Buffy's eyes. "What's..." She took Buffy's hand. "Hey...what's wrong?"

Buffy shook her head. "I need you to talk to Willow, okay?" she said. "She's waiting for you, upstairs in the room we set up for you."

"Talk to her about what?"

A tear rolled down Buffy's cheek.

"You have to...I'm sorry...you just...have to talk to her, okay?" Buffy said. Her voice was shaky. Faith watched as Buffy stood up, and turned away from her.

Faith stood up and hugged her. Buffy still wouldn't look at her.

"Tell me," Faith said. Buffy shook her head.

Faith turned her around. Buffy was crying.

"Buffy...you're scarin' me, honey," Faith said.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said. "I'm sorry, Faith."

Faith felt the cold thing in her stomach.

She felt an icicle stab her, right through the heart.

"Are you...are you...leaving me?" Faith whispered, with tears in her eyes now, and her hands starting to shake.

"No, baby!" Buffy said, and hugged her, and kissed her cheek. "No, no. No. Never. I'll never leave you, baby. I love you."

"Then...then what's...wrong...?" Faith whispered.

Buffy kissed her.

And she held the kiss, and stroked Faith's hair as she kissed her. Their tongues touched, caressed. Each felt the other's tears on her cheeks, tasted them on her lips. Faith didn't pull away. She returned the kiss, every second of it...

"Hey stoner girl," Tara said.

Faith opened her eyes.

The living room was filled with sunlight. Tara stood above her in the same gypsy skirt and sweater she'd worn the night before.

Faith smelled pancakes. They smelled good.

"I made some of my completely lame pancakes?" Tara said. "Want breakfast? It'll be completely lame."

"Sounds like a plan," Faith said, and smiled.

"How come you think these are completely lame?" Faith said, as she sat at the kitchen table and ate pancakes with lots of butter and syrup. "They're good."

"They're always either too thick or too thin?" Tara said, as she stood at the stove, flipping pancakes. There was a big stack on a plate beside her. Faith kept her eye on the stack. She was going to hunt the stack down. There was nowhere for the stack to run. "And I can never get them to like, be circles. They're completely lame."

"They're good, Faith said.

"They're not circles," Tara said.

"They're surrealist. You're startin' like, your own pancake movement."

Tara came back to the table with the big stack of pancakes, put two on her own plate, and set the rest in between them.

"So you know how we're friends?" Tara said, as she poured syrup on her pancakes.

"Yup," Faith said.

"Now's the part where you tell me stuff. Feel free to also make it the part where you tell me to shut up and mind my own business if you want, but..."

"I'd never say that to you," Faith said.

"Cool," Tara said, and smiled. "So talk to me."

"About what?"

Tara took her hand.

"The lighthouse," Tara said.

"You and Buffy, huh?" Tara said. "I thought so."

Faith had told her everything. It had all just poured out of her.

Faith couldn't believe it. She had known the girl less than a day.

But Tara was easy to talk to...she was warm...like Rebecca.

"You did?" Faith said. The pancakes were gone. Faith liked Tara's pancakes and she had eaten fourteen of them. Tara had eaten two.

"It was in your eyes, sweetie," Tara said. "When you told me how you were a Slayer last night, and you mentioned Buffy...you just...you looked so sad."

"She doesn't love me," Faith said.

"She does, Faith," Tara said.

Faith looked at her. Usually, Tara flinched when Faith looked in her eyes. This time Tara didn't flinch.

"Look, you told me that you think you're falling in love with Buffy, but you're not a hundred-percent sure?" Tara said. "Not sure you trust her, not sure about a lot of stuff? Like how you said you know Buffy loves Willow, and maybe she still loves the guy she kissed too, and you don't know where that leaves you, plus like, you're not sure how you can fit with her friends anyway? Not to mention you still kind of like guys and Evan's in Boston."

"Yeah," Faith said. She hadn't thought of Evan. She realized she hadn't thought of him when she was at the lighthouse the night before, about to jump. She'd thought about Rebecca, and Buffy.

"Well Buffy has a lot going on, she has this thing for Willow and she has her guy and what does she keep doing in the middle of all of it?" Tara said.

"Pissing me off?" Faith said.

"She brings you food," Tara said. "She's worried that you're hungry. She invited you to live with her yesterday. The Slayer in her came out and you guys had, um, serious mad lovin' for ten hours. Why do all that if she doesn't care?"

"The Slayer part of her does. But Buffy...maybe she just feels bad for me."

"Nope, wrong again," Tara said. "Look, I feel bad for like, people in wheelchairs and stuff? But I don't go to the trouble of bringing hot meals to their houses every single day. Buffy does that stuff because she cares about you, not because she just feels bad. And Buffy, and Willow and Xander too, they keep hanging with you. You think they're gonna waste their time if they don't want to be there?"

Faith shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe I'm just Buffy's fling," Faith said. "As for Will, I like her, but she's like, all smart. Can't see why she'd want to hang with me."

"For someone who's really, really, completely not dumb?" Tara said. "You sure can act dumb. I sentence you to help me wash the dishes."

Tara collected their dishes and went to the sink. Faith joined her.

"You're on drying duty," Tara said, and handed her a dishtowel.

"Okay," Faith said.

Tara washed the dishes, and Faith dried them.

"Do you think that's why you're here with me?" Tara said. "Because I feel bad for you?"

"No," Faith said. "I know you like me. I know you like being with me. You're my friend."

"Score one for the Slayer. So how come Willow can't be your friend?

"I don't know," Faith said.

"I'll take 'Faith is Jealous of Willow for eight-hundred', Alex," Tara said.

"Faith is jealous of Willow for eight-hundred?" Faith said.

"You said you know for sure Buffy loves her. Maybe it's not that Willow doesn't want to hang with you. Maybe you don't want to hang with her? Because you know Buffy loves her, and it makes you jealous?"

Faith thought about it. She hadn't considered it before.

"Yeah but, she's like, all smart too," Faith said.

"Yeah, so what does this smart girl do according to your theory?" Tara said. "She decides to hang around with someone she doesn't want to hang around with. Because that's like, a real productive way to spend her time."

"Maybe she feels bad."

"Faith. If this thing we're doing was just about me feeling bad for you? I would've talked you off that ledge last night and drove you to the nearest hospital. Instead I took you home and made you lasagna and we played Super Mario, and now here we are. Because I like you. Yeah, sure, I would've stayed with you in the hospital for awhile to make sure you were all right? But that would've been it. I try to help people, strangers even, but that doesn't mean I let them all sleep over my house. I like you. You're my friend. Willow likes you too."

"Why...do you like me?" Faith said.

"I like how you carved your name on the rock, and I like how you're like, tough and goofy at the same time?" Tara said. "I like how you don't think my pancakes are lame and you don't think my trunk has too much junk. I like the way you giggle, and your accent, and how you're strong. How the first thing that went through your head after you told me about vampires last night was to protect me and make sure I stayed safe. You're a hero. You're a total utter wand. Plus, you know...I just like you. Sometimes, people just...like each other. Also? You're very cute when you're high."

"Thanks," Faith said, and smiled.

"How come you like me?" Tara said.

"I like how you smell, and..."

"Wait," Tara said, and giggled. "How I smell. Really?"

"I'm a Slayer," Faith said. "People's scents are important. I remember scents forever, and even though like, intellectually, I know it's not really fair? I judge people by how they smell. Nicest person in the world, they don't smell good? I don't trust 'em. You smell real good to me, Tara."

"Do I smell like completely lame pancakes? Wait, Twinkies. Can I smell like Twinkies? I wanna smell like Twinkies."

"Ginger. Ginger and some other stuff I can't place, all combined. Smells real good. Like, exotic. I like being close to you."

"I like being close to you too, sweetie."

"Plus...I don't know, I just...I just trust you."

"You trust me?"

"Yeah. Something about you, y'know? I just trust you when you say stuff. You remind me of Becca. I trust you like I trusted her."

"I never really...had friends before," Tara said. "Growing up in Milwaukee, all the other kids all thought...I was weird."

"I never really had friends either," Faith said. "Just Evan and...he's gone."

"Well now you've got me. And maybe you can give Willow credit for being smart enough not to be wasting her time with someone she doesn't want to be with?"

"I just...can't ever figure out what I'm supposed to say to her."

"Then don't try to figure it out. Instead of thinking about what you're supposed to say, just talk. And hey, look, if you don't want to hang with her, if you don't like her, then by all means don't hang with her. But you keep on hanging with her. You talk about how you don't know why she'd want to be with you, and then when she invites you out like every other day you go."

"Sometimes I blow her off."

"Yeah, because you're doing your goofy 'I'm not smart enough' thing. If you really didn't want her coming around you'd tell her to stop coming around. You'd tell her your motel room doesn't have her name on it," Tara said, and smiled, and splashed water at Faith.

"You really want to get into a splash fight with a Slayer?" Faith said. "Consider your options carefully here."

"Um...okay, you make a good point," Tara said, and giggled.

They were finished with the dishes. Tara drained the sink, and leaned against it, and looked at Faith.

"I think Buffy's in love with you, Faith," Tara said. "Maybe...she's your queen of cups."

Faith touched Tara's hair, and her cheek...and kissed her.

Faith was gentle; she went slow. She didn't want Tara to fly away.

Tara didn't fly away. But when the kiss ended, she hugged Faith, and whispered in her ear.

"Just the one, Faith," Tara whispered.

"Why?" Faith whispered. "Why just the one?"

Tara ran her fingers through Faith's hair.

"Because I'm your friend, and it would be taking advantage," Tara said. "You're in a weird place right now, you've had a weird day and you're really vulnerable. And because I think...I think maybe you're meant to be with Buffy."

Faith looked down at the floor.

"Do me a favor sweetie?" Tara said. "Try to work it out with her. Not just Buffy, but Willow and Xander too. They never gave up on you, so don't give up on them just yet. Give them all one more chance first. And if it doesn't work? If you try, and you decide you don't want them, don't want Buffy, in your life?"

"Then what?" Faith said.

"Then we'll get to have our second kiss," Tara said.

Buffy kissed her.

And she held the kiss, and stroked Faith's hair as she kissed her. Their tongues touched, caressed. Each felt the other's tears on her cheeks, tasted them on her lips. Faith didn't pull away. She returned the kiss, every second of it...

And then Buffy let her go.

"Talk to Willow," Buffy said. "She's waiting for you upstairs."

Faith nodded, and walked away...and then she turned.

"Was that a kiss goodbye?" Faith said.

Buffy sat down at the table.

She looked down at her hands. She didn't look at Faith.

"Talk to Willow," Buffy said.

"Buffy says...I need to talk to you," Faith said, as she walked into the room Buffy and Joyce had set up for her.

It was a nice room, not quite as big as Buffy's, but still comfortable, with a nice big bed and a hardwood floor, and a painting on the wall. Joyce ran an art gallery and she had good taste; Faith liked the painting. It was a modern impressionist painting and it reminded her a little of the Monets she had seen in the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. There was a desk too, and a good-sized bureau and a full-length mirror, and a big closet. Faith had thought she'd be living in that room...but now everything was different. She could live wherever she wanted to now, go wherever she wanted to go. She could buy a house. She could buy a castle. She probably owned a castle already, in England. But if she couldn't take Buffy with her there didn't seem to be any point to any of it. Without Buffy it didn't matter... all the houses and the castles, they'd just be empty places... wherever she went, if Buffy wasn't with her, she'd just be alone...

Willow was sitting on the bed.

"Yeah sweetie, we gotta talk, okay? There's some stuff you gotta know," Willow said. "C'mere, come sit with me."

Faith sat next to her. "Will...what's wrong with Buffy?" she said. "She's scarin' me. Is it...me? Did I do something?"

"No, sweetie," Willow said, and took her hand. "You didn't do anything wrong, it's not you. Buffy loves you."

"Then...what's wrong?" Faith said.

"Someone hurt her," Willow said. "Hurt all of us."

"Buffy, what is it?" Giles said. "Tell me."

Buffy sat on her bed, looking down at the floor.

"You're gonna...be angry with me," Buffy said. "And I'm sorry. I just...I didn't know what to do and...I tried my best but you're gonna think...you're gonna think I didn't care about Jenny but I did. You're gonna think I don't care about you but I do."

"Jenny?" Giles said. "What does this have to do with Jenny?"

Buffy looked at the floor. Giles sat on the bed next to her.

"Tell me what's wrong," Giles said.

"Angel's alive," Buffy said.

"So let's see if I got this straight," Faith said. She was pacing around the room like a lion in a cage. "Angelus, most bad ass of all the bad ass vamps, tears through Europe for a hundred and fifty years with his gal Darla. They kick the shit outta Europe man, they make Europe their bitch. Angelus sires Drusilla, Dru sires Spike. And they're a big happy family and everything until one day our boy kills a gypsy girl and the gypsies, they're pissed. So they curse our boy, give him his soul back. So now he's all feelin' guilty. 'Oh, I'm a terrible person. Shit man, I need a twelve-step program.' He mopes around for a hundred years. Fast-forward to 1997. He meets up with Buffy. For some reason I cannot fucking fathom, she's diggin' his shit. B's all, 'Damn, I gotta get me some o' that."

"He's...a good-looking guy, Faith," Willow said.

"Yeah, it's not that, I get that. Angelus. The bad ass vamp with a face like an angel. Becca told me that too, it's part of his rep, it's in all the stories. Evil but hot. Thing is though? B and me, we're Slayers. When you're a Slayer the nose knows. And our noses know that vamps, they're dead things. Everyone's got a scent Will, and a Slayer catalogues them and always remembers them. I know your scent, Xander's scent, Giles--I can pick any of you guys out of a crowd from a hundred feet away and so can Buffy. And vamps, you know what they smell like to a Slayer? Rotten meat. How can Buffy...how could she...be with him?"

"You don't choose who you love, Faith. A couple of months ago, did you ever think you'd be in love with a girl?"

Faith smiled. "Yeah, okay, got a point there," she said. "Anyway. So B and Angelus, who's callin' himself Angel now, they have a big epic romance. And he's on the up and up for awhile, he helps out, fights the bad guys with B, helps save the world even. And then him and B finally get horizontal. Problem was, his curse says he loses his soul again if he's ever perfectly happy, and B, she showed him a hell of a time. He loses his soul, cuts loose, gets together with Spike and Dru who just happen to be in town, kills folks. But you're all a cool bad ass witch, so you find a way to turn the tables. You give him his soul back, and now he's a good guy again. But it's just a little bit too late, 'cuz Angelus, asshole that he was, he opened a portal to hell that's gonna swallow the whole frigging world and the only way to close it is with his blood. So my girl, she shows why she's the baddest of all the bad asses and she stabs Angel through the heart with his own fuckin' sword and sends him to a hell dimension even though he's got his soul back now. My girl, she saved the whole world."

"Yeah," Willow said. "She does that."

"So anyway now he's back, and he's got his soul," Faith said, and sat next to her again. "No one knows why...but he's back. And no one's really sure if they can trust him and everyone's all tense and freaked out. So am I up to speed now?"

"No, sweetie," Willow said, and rubbed her shoulder. "You've got the backstory. You know who he is. Now...you need to know what he did."

"Thought you just told me. He lost his soul, got loose, killed folks."

"That's what he did to them," Willow said. "Now I have to tell you what he did to Buffy...and what he did to me."

"How could you...keep this from me?" Giles said, and got up from the bed, and walked away from her.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, looking down at the floor.

"Sorry?!" he shouted, whirling around. "SORRY?! He butchered the woman I love and dressed her up in an evening gown and propped her up in my bed for me to find and you're SORRY?!"

She looked up at him, with tears in her eyes. He started chuckling.

"Well of course, that just fixes everything, doesn't it?" he said. "You're sorry. It's bloody brilliant. Giles, I'm sorry I dated a butchering monster who sadistically murdered thousands of people. Giles, I'm sorry he killed the woman you love. Giles, I'm sorry I lied to you about killing him. Of course, Buffy. Everything's all better now."

"I didn't...I didn't lie about killing him," Buffy said. "I thought...he was dead. He came back...I don't know how. He doesn't know how."

"He was dead," Giles said. "He was always dead. He was a dead thing when you were dating him. And you didn't tell me when he came back. You kept it from me. You have no respect for me, as your Watcher or as a person! You... you should have..."

Buffy got up off the bed, and touched his shoulder. He didn't look at her.

"Don't SAY THAT!" Buffy shouted. "Please don't say that! I always respect you. You're...you're like a..." She looked at the floor. "I respect you. I've always respected you. But I didn't know what to do. He has his, his soul back now, Giles. He has his soul and--"

"And now we can all just what?" Giles shouted, turning back upon her. "Forgive and forget? Angelus is gone now, and everything can go back to normal?"

"No," Buffy said. "It can't. Not ever again."

"I am gonna dust that MOTHERFUCKER!" they suddenly heard Faith shouting, down the hall.

Giles turned, and looked toward the door.

"Faith," Buffy said. "Willow's telling her...about Angel."

"MOTHERFUCKER!" they heard Faith scream again...

They heard a hammering sound, a boom that echoed through the house...

I don't think Joyce ever liked that wall much anyway," Willow said.

Willow was sitting on the bed. Faith was standing near the desk. Faith's fist was through the wall.

"Or, um, we could maybe hang a painting over it," Willow said.

Faith turned back to her. She pulled her fist from the wall, and pulled another chunk of the wall out with it.

"Got money now," Faith said. "I'll pay to fix it."

Willow nodded. She sat with her hands folded in her lap, watching Faith.

"He raped you," Faith said. "He...made you remember him raping you."

"Yeah," Willow said.

Faith sat next to her on the bed, and took her hand.

"I'm still afraid of closets," Willow said. She felt Faith's eyes on her. She didn't look at them. She looked down at her hands. "I can't hang up my clothes. Xander and I are using Joyce's bedroom? All my clothes are in her bureau."

Willow sat very still. She didn't look at Faith. She tried to be strong.

She needed to be strong...leaders had to be strong. Someday she'd have to gather soldiers throughout time, be the general in a war...so she had to be strong...

Strong people didn't cry.

"That's why...my clothes look wrinkled a lot," Willow said. "They're never hung up. They're always in drawers."

Strong people didn't cry...

Willow sat very still, and felt like she was shaking.

Faith gently turned Willow around, so Willow could see her...

Faith was crying.

Tears streamed down Faith's cheeks, as Faith took Willow in her arms...

And Willow cried.

"Never again," Faith whispered. "No one's ever gonna hurt you again, Will. They try? I'll kill them."

"Remember...when we first met?" Willow whispered, as she held onto Faith, and cried...and felt protected. "You saved me. You always save me."

Faith gently tilted Willow's head up, and looked her in the eyes.

"You're part of my family," Faith said. "No one fucks with my family."

"You hugged me then too," Willow said. "You're like, all, the hug girl."

"One of my Slayer powers," Faith said. "Got the power of super-hugs. I'm gonna kill Angel for what he did to you, honey. I'm gonna shove my stake so far up his ass it's gonna come out his fucking teeth."

Willow smiled. She pulled away a little, and looked at Faith.

"Y'know, right now? Just being with you, and looking at you, and listening to you, at like, this particular second?" Willow said. "I can see exactly, exactly why Buffy loves you so much, sweetie. Why you two are gonna be so great together. I'm just all, a proud auntie."

Faith giggled. "An auntie?" she said.

"You and Buffy, you're both my, y'know, little perverted Slayer nieces."

Faith laughed. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, that's me and B all right. And you guys, you're all my family. So you can be my auntie if you want."

"Okay," Willow said, and wiped her tears away. "First thing auntie says is, you can't kill Angel. I mean it Faith, you can't. He'll be coming over tonight to stay until this stuff with the wolf vamps is over and we need him."

"But...Will...what he did to you..."

"What he did to me means if anyone in this room gets to kill Angel it's me," Willow said, and looked Faith in the eyes, and didn't flinch. "And I decided not to, last night. I could've burned him alive and I didn't. Buffy was about to kill him, and I stopped her. You're not gonna kill him either."

Willow rubbed Faith's shoulder.

"Sweetie," Willow said. "I love you. I love how you want to protect me. I love being part of your family. Before you came into our lives, things were bad, we were lost...we were in the dark. But then you came, and everything's better now, for all of us. Buffy, me, Xander...things are better now that you're with us."

"I was...lost too," Faith said.

"Not anymore," Willow said. "You're with us now. We're your family."

Faith nodded, and smiled.

"A Slayer always thinks tactically," Willow said. "So think tactically here, sweetie. You know I'm right. The Slayer part of you? The part that's all, comin' up with the plan? That part might not like Angel on general principle but it still knows I'm right. We're looking at a big fight and we need help. We need Angel."

"If we can trust him," Faith said.

"When he has his soul he'd never hurt us."

"Buffy almost killed him yesterday? She was gonna kill him?"

"Yeah. When she found out what Angelus did to me. Before she met you, before she met Angel, Buffy was in love with me. But you already know."

"You knew that?" Faith said. "But...how did you know...I knew?"

Willow got up, and moved to the window, and looked out at the sky. The night was coming on; it was getting dark. The stars were coming out now, and the moon was rising. But the moon was almost gone, just days from the new.

"This...is gonna be awkward," Willow said.

"He has his soul back. Well isn't that bloody wonderful," Giles said. "You don't understand what a vampire really is. Even after all this time, even after everything I've hammered into your head while you sat there in my house and smirked and made fun of me and counted the moments until you could leave --"

"I never did that," Buffy said. He was standing, looking right down at her. She sat on her bed, looking away from him, at her closet. "I never made fun of you, I never...counted the moments until I could leave. Yeah, I make jokes sometimes. It's how I survive this, okay? If I had to be serious about it all the time? About how like, I'm the Slayer and I have to be the one who saves the world? I'd kill myself. But I always respected you, Giles. And I always needed you. I still do."

"Funny. You never acted like it," Giles said.

"I'm sorry, if...I seemed that way," Buffy said. "That's not how it was for me. That's not how I meant to be."

"Sorry doesn't make it better, Buffy! That doesn't make this go away! You still don't get it, do you? You still don't understand what Angel really is! I tried to tell you. Even when he was helping us, I tried to tell you. You never listened. When someone becomes a vampire, they lose their soul. But the soul is not the whole person. It's one's conscience, yes, one's humanity. But the essence of the person, their intellect and memories, their loves, their innate capacity for good or evil, remains intact."

"Oh good, a lecture," Buffy said, still looking at the closet. "Shoulda brought my notebook."

"Yes, a lecture, because you bloody well need one and you will bloody well listen to me for once!" Giles shouted.

"I always listened. Anyway, you've got the floor."

"Vampires need blood to survive. They're like animals, in a way. You don't blame a wolf for killing a deer. It's doing what it has to do to survive. But Angelus didn't kill just to survive. He killed for pleasure. He called it his "art". He didn't merely kill Jenny. He killed her, dressed her in a beautiful evening gown, and put her in my bed. So that when I found her, I would suffer that much more. That's what he does. Not just because he lost his soul. Because that's who he is, who he was when he was Angelus and who he is now when he's Angel. There's a monster in him, Buffy. He can keep it in check when he has his soul. But it will always be there. And he'll always be dangerous."

"Yeah," Buffy said. "I know. I've always known."

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Willow said. "I didn't mean for it to happen...I don't know how it did. I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing to you, Will," Faith said.

Willow stood by the window, and watched Faith, as Faith sat on the bed, and looked down at her hands.

"Apologize?" Willow said. "For what?"

But Willow knew. Willow knew she and Buffy had a long way to go with Faith...a lot of work still to do...

"My life. It's not fair, that you had to...be me," Faith said, softly. "That you had to feel like you were...some skank on the street giving blowjobs."

Faith wouldn't look at her. She still looked down at her hands.

"It's worse...than what Angelus did to you," Faith whispered. "What I did to you is worse. Having to be me is worse. It's worse."

Faith started to cry.

"I'm...weighing you down," Faith said. "I'm...a burden. That's all I am. A fucking...weight around your neck. I should've...never come into your life. You should've all just...told me to get lost. Buffy should've just...stayed away."

Willow walked back to her, and knelt in front of her, and took her hand.

"If you stayed away I'd be dead now," Willow said. "A couple times over, at least. You always save me."

Faith still wouldn't look at her. Willow wiped the tears from Faith's eyes, and smoothed her hair.

"You're not a skank," Willow said. "You're someone people took advantage of. You're not dumb. You dropped out of school. Your Mom made you think no one can love you. But she was wrong, Faith. Becca loved you. Buffy loves you. I think Tara loves you, too. And I love you."

Faith finally looked at her.

"Missed that before, didn't you?" Willow said. "I told you I love you a few minutes ago and, zoom! Right over your head. You miss stuff sometimes, sweetie. Because Buffy was right about you. You're not dumb. But you get caught up in yourself...you don't see what's around you. I love you, Faith."

"You...love me?" Faith whispered.

"Yeah," Willow said. "Wanna know why, sweetie?"

Faith nodded.

"Because I was you," Willow said. "I lived your life, all of it. And I've been thinking about it...about you...ever since last night...ever since I got all those memories. I've been thinking about how you always felt cold, and you didn't think anyone loved you. But, the thing about you? You're tough. You hung in when things looked hopeless. Becca wouldn't have found you, if you weren't able to hang tough for a long time first. You're tougher than me, Faith. But you don't see so well, sometimes...there's stuff you don't notice, because you're kinda in your own head a lot. When I lived your life, I noticed things you didn't."

"Like...like what?" Faith said.

"People love you," Willow said. "Because you're someone worth loving. The only one who doesn't think so? Is you. Remember what Buffy told you, when the Slayer came out? You don't know how to love yet. You need to learn to love yourself, first. You're part of me now, Faith. And I love that part of me."

Willow kissed her. Faith blushed, but she didn't pull away.

"I love you," Willow said. "Because I am you, and I know how to love myself. Because I know you now, better than anyone else...and I know you're someone worth loving. Buffy, Xander, Giles, Tara, me...we're committed to you, sweetie. We're not giving up on you. But you have to meet us halfway. You can't give up on yourself either. You have to learn how to love yourself, Faith."

"But...all the stuff that happened to me...my Mom and...living on the street," Faith said. "I just wish...you didn't have to go through that. I wish...you didn't have to be...burdened with it."

"You're not a burden," Willow said, and smiled. "Living your life? Yeah, it was tough, but it taught me some important things. It wasn't a burden, it set me free. I've known Angel was back from that hell dimension for months now. I've been scared of my closet, scared of my own frigging shadow since he did what he did to me, but I never confronted him. I knew he was back but I never confronted him...until last night."

Willow caressed Faith's cheek.

"The first thing I did, once I got your memories, lived your life?" Willow said. "I found my courage. And I went right out and stood up to Angel...stood up to my fear. A burden? You're not a burden to me. You're a gift, Faith. You showed me I could be strong. You shouldn't be apologizing to me. I should be thanking you."

"Yeah?" Faith said, and smiled.

"Yeah," Willow said, and smiled back. She got up and sat next to Faith on the bed, and put her arm around her.

"Um, but just to clarify some stuff?" Willow said, and grinned. "Um...I don't love you like, in a wanting to get busy kinda way. So get those pervo thoughts out of your head."

Faith giggled, and blushed.

"Shit," she said. "I forgot...you must know, right? How like, I think you're hot. Had a little crush on you."

"Yeah," Willow said. "I have to admit it was um, really strange? Having all these memories of meeting myself and wanting to boink me? It's like everyone wants to boink me all of a sudden. You, Buffy, Xander...there should be like, a TV show. They could call it 'Everyone Wants Willow.' Plus, I actually smelled myself. With your Slayer senses, I actually know my own scent now."

"You're the strawberry girl. So...you've got my memories...so...you and... Buffy...uh...I mean you remember you and Buffy..."

"Gettin' busy?" Willow said, and smiled.

"Yeah," Faith said, and blushed.

"The girl does know her way around the bed," Willow said. "You guys... wow. I'm, y'know, hetero? But...just...wow."

"Yeah, B's pretty wow," Faith said, and grinned. "So, uh...what did she think about all this? I mean, when you told her you got me in your head now... what did she think about...I mean...you know how she feels now. You know...the way Buffy's always felt about you."

"It...was awkward," Willow said. "But I love her too...as my best friend. So we'll get through it. We'll figure it out. But...that brings up something else I gotta tell you now. There's like, one tiny little burdensome thing about having your memories? And it's that sometimes, I sort of get confused...like, I know I'm Willow but, I sort of, um, react to stuff like you would. Like, last night when I told Buffy about how I have your memories now, she noticed I was talking with your accent. Like, even though it feels like I lived your whole life? I've really only had these memories for less than a day. And I'm sorta still figuring out how to handle them...it feels like there are two of me now. And...around Buffy? It's... weird. Sometimes...I think I'm in love with her, because you are."

Faith nodded. She looked uncomfortable.

"And I have to remind myself those are your feelings, not mine," Willow said. "Last night, I thought I was in love with her. Ever since I got your memories in the car? I was...thinking about...being with Buffy. Whenever I looked at her, I wanted her. I'm sorry. I know this is...hard to hear."

"It's okay," Faith said. "It's not your fault, Will. You didn't know this would happen."

"Yeah, and...I mean I knew like, intellectually? That those feelings weren't really mine, but...they were there, I had them," Willow said. "I thought about Buffy all night last night, before she and I finally talked. I thought about..."

"Being with her," Faith said. "In bed with her."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't want to but...I couldn't help myself. I just...wanted her. I felt like I was you, and...I wanted her with me...I wanted her the way you do. I couldn't stop...thinking about the memories...about those times in your motel room. I was..."

Willow blushed.

"I was fantasizing about her," Willow said. "But...Buffy and I talked it out last night and...I'm okay now. It took me some time but...I found my way back to myself. Buffy helped me. Without Buffy, I don't know if I would've been able to find my way back. Last night, when she talked to me...she helped me get through it. It was hard and...she helped me through it."

"Okay," Faith said. "It's cool, Will. Don't worry about it."

"Faith," Willow said. "Remember our philosophy? Becca's always right. So I won't lie to you. Buffy's still in love with me, and I think she always will be. I was her first love. But you're the one she's chosen. It's not like, she's only with you because she can't have me. If she could have me? If I suddenly turned gay? She'd pick you, sweetie. Yeah, I was her first love? But you're her last love. You're her forever love."

"Yeah?" Faith said. "You...really mean that?"

"Yeah," Willow said. "I do, sweetie."

Faith smiled.

"So, uh...have you told Xander?" Faith said "That...y'know...you got me in your head."

"No," Willow said. "Not sure if I'm gonna. I mean...he's a guy and...once he thought about it and realized that having your memories means I remembered like, gettin' busy with Buffy a bunch of times? He's a guy and...y'know."

"He'd be comparing himself to her."

"Yeah, and...it's...it's apples and oranges. He'd want to know, even if he didn't ask, he'd want to know who I thought was better but...it's..."

Willow looked away from her.

"It's...I mean...it's two different things," Willow said. "Him and Buffy, it was like two different kinds of things. I mean, Buffy's a girl, and it was just... different. Anyway...I don't know if I'm gonna tell him."

"Yeah," Faith said, and rubbed Willow's shoulder. She could read Willow pretty well by now...and she heard the truth, underneath Willow's lie. "Guys can be like...they can obsess over stuff like that. They can get all like, y'know, whose dick is bigger, when it's not even like, about that. Plus...Will...they're my memories. They're not really...how you feel. You gotta hold onto that, honey."

"Yeah. So...um...listen...I told Buffy about Tara," Willow said, changing the subject. "Not the kiss? Because that's your business, but...just how Tara's your friend, and you care about her. I told Buffy a few things, not a lot of stuff, but a few things that I thought she needed to hear, because I want you guys to work, and you both almost broke up. And I don't want that to happen again. We both know what almost happened to you when you thought you lost Buffy."

Faith nodded, and looked down at her shoes. Willow gently turned Faith back toward her.

"I didn't tell Buffy about the lighthouse," Willow said. "But, you ever try to pull a stunt like the lighthouse again? I will kick your fucking ass. You ever do anything like that again and my boot's going straight up that ass."

Faith smiled.

"Somethin' funny, girlfriend?" Willow said, and looked Faith in the eyes. "Look in my eyes. Do I look like I'm fucking kidding here?"

"Hell no," Faith said, her smile getting wider.

Suddenly, Willow started giggling.

"Shit," Willow said. "Um...sorry. Got all...Faith-ish for a sec."

"So that's what I'm like, huh?" Faith said. "Damn. I'm a bad ass. Feels like I just gave myself a real stern talking-to."

"Yeah, pretty much. But, sweetie? Don't ever do anything like the lighthouse again. I couldn't...I couldn't handle something like that again."

"I won't. What stuff did you tell Buffy?"

"Telling Buffy some stuff about you last night was a one-time thing, Faith. It's your private stuff and I won't ever blab about it again. But there's stuff that could be landmines for you two if it isn't out in the open, and I want you guys to work. So I told her about Tara, because it's not like you're gonna stop seeing Tara, she's still your friend, and I don't want Buffy getting the wrong idea. I told her about Evan too, because Buffy's really nervous about Evan. I told her you still love him but you love her more. We talked about Becca a lot...Buffy's curious about Becca."

"What did you say about Becca?"

"That I miss her. I miss her all the time. That I love her."

"Yeah. Me too," Faith said, and hugged her.

"How you can ever be down on yourself when someone like Becca loved you so much, I have no idea, Faith," Willow said. "Do you know how lucky you were, to have her?"

"Becca was...real special."

"So are you. Becca never talked just to talk, remember? And she told you she loved you."

"Yeah," Faith said, and smiled.

"My Mom...she doesn't really love me," Willow said. "I wish...Becca was my Mom."

"Your Mom doesn't love you?"

"It's not like she's mean to me or anything, but...she just...goes through the motions. She does stuff for me because she has to, because it's expected, not because she wants to. I don't think...I was planned. I think I was an accident. I don't think my Mom wanted kids. I always stay over here a lot, because I like Joyce better. I think Joyce cares about me more than my own Mom does."

"I care about you."

Willow smiled, and kissed Faith's cheek.

"Thanks, sweetie," Willow said. "So, anyway...um...let's get back to why we're here. You need to know about the stuff Angel did when he was Angelus. You know what he did to me...now you need to know what he did to Buffy."

"Telling me all this stuff isn't exactly helping your case for why we shouldn't kill him," Faith said.

"Preaching to the choir. But we need him and we both know it. And he wouldn't hurt us when he has his soul...you just have to trust me on that. And one more thing, before I tell you about Angelus? I said I could have killed him yesterday? That's only because he would have let me kill him. Sure, I'm a witch? But I'm not so powerful yet that I could kill Angel if he actually tried to defend himself. Yeah, I created that fireball but Angel could have killed me about fourteen different ways before I had a chance to use it if he wanted to. Instead he just stood there. When I shot the fireball at him, he stood there. When Buffy kicked the crap out of him? He just took it. I think...Angel wants to die."

"He should, for what he did."

"Yeah, maybe. Okay, I'm saying we need him? But that doesn't mean I have to like it. Anyway...when Angelus was loose and killing, everything he did was about Buffy. Even what he planned on doing to me, that was about Buffy too. Angelus wasn't like other vampires. Killing wasn't enough for him. What he really wanted was for us to suffer...for Buffy to suffer."

"Our boy Angel's big on making people suffer," Faith said.

"Angelus, sweetie. As much as I didn't want to think so yesterday, as much as I wanted to kill Angel, even then I knew there's a difference. Anyway, we looked all over but we couldn't find him. Even my locator spell couldn't find him. He got some kind of talismans from this shaman he knew, and he and Spike and Dru all wore them. The talismans hid them from me. It took Buffy weeks to find them. And even then she only managed it because Spike asked for her help."

"What? Spike? Why?"

"Spike's sorta strange. He's evil and annoying and he gets off on killing Slayers, he's already killed two--"

"Yeah. Becca told me that. Killed a Slayer in China about a hundred years back named Xin Rong. Killed Nikki Wood in New York in 1977. I always wanted to meet Spike. Always wanted to test myself against him. It's part of the reason I always wanted to come out here, I figured he'd show up here again sooner or later. Hellmouth attracts all the badness. And Becca knew it too."

"That's why she stalled when you asked her to take you out here," Willow said. "She wanted to protect you. Vampires like Spike, she didn't want you running up against them before you were ready."

"Yeah, Spike's the real deal," Faith said. "Killed two Slayers lickety-split, and Becca was always all about protecting me."

"Yup, Spike's a meanie. But the other thing about him is, he loves Drusilla. Kinda like how Angelus loved Darla, but maybe even moreso. Dru made Spike, and they were a couple for a century. But Angelus made Dru, and when Angel lost his soul he started getting, um, snuggly with Dru. Spike got jealous."

Faith chuckled. "Shit, so Mister Hottie stole Spike's girl, huh?" she said. "Yeah, that figures. What I heard, Angelus was always a player."

"Yup. But...I don't think Drusilla was ever really Spike's. I think...from the memories I have...I think she always wanted to be with Angelus. But he was with Darla, so she settled for Spike. But anyway Spike was all mopey about Angelus and Dru gettin' all busy, and plus, y'know, Angelus was gonna throw the world into a hell dimension, and Spike? Not so much with destroying the world. He likes, um, soccer and the Sex Pistols and beer and stuff? So he offered Buffy a deal. Angelus' location and help taking him down in exchange for him and Dru getting to leave town. Dru had already killed Kendra. Angelus was gonna open the portal to the hell dimension the next day. So Buffy's choices were throw in with Spike or end up having to fight Angelus and Spike and Dru."

"B took the deal."

"Yeah. And here's where it gets bad, sweetie. It took Buffy weeks to find Angelus and he'd been killing the whole time. Not just to feed. To hurt Buffy. So whenever he killed someone, he took their picture. A picture with them alive, and then another picture after he killed them. And every time he killed someone he sent their pictures to Buffy's house. To let her know it was her fault."

"Jesus Christ," Faith said.

"They were all little girls, Faith," Willow said. Faith looked at her. Willow had tears in her eyes. "None of them were more than eight years old. He killed eighteen of them, before Buffy finally found him. He killed eighteen little girls, and took pictures of them, and sent them to Buffy. She still has the pictures. I told her she shouldn't keep them anymore, but...she still has them. I know she still looks at them sometimes."

"Jesus Christ," Faith said, and got up, and stalked around the room. Willow watched her...and saw the lion she'd seen in the alley two months before. "And I gotta not kill this guy. Somehow, when this motherfucker who butchered eighteen little girls and threw it in Buffy's face swings by tonight I gotta be all, 'Hey pull up a chair dude, crack open a cold one'. How the FUCK do I do that?!"

"I don't know, Faith, but you're gonna have to find a way," Willow said. "I decided not to kill him yesterday and if either of us has the right to kill him for the things he did it's me."

"Yeah, I know that, Will," Faith said, and sat back down. "What he did to you was...I can't even imagine it. But what he did to B? Anything happens to her is like it's happening to me too. I got less of a stake in this than you but I still got a stake in it. I love her and he hurt her."

"I know, sweetie," Willow said. "I know."

"I wanna kill him," Faith said.

"I know," Willow said. "But for Buffy, for me, you can't. Okay?"

"Yeah," Faith said. "So...is that everything? Am I caught up now?"

"No," Willow said. "There's one more thing. One more thing he did to Buffy that you have to know about."

She took Faith's hand.

"It's the worst thing," Willow said.

"Look, Giles," Buffy said. "Even though you think I never listen to you, I always do, okay? I'm listening now. But what you're saying doesn't change anything. We still have a hundred, maybe hundreds, plural, of those new vamps out there. They still want Willow. We still need Angel. It's not about how pissed we are at what he did when he lost his soul. I'm sorry about Jenny but it's not about her either. It's about the mission. And I need Angel for the mission."

"Those girls he killed," Giles said. "Do you still have their photographs?"

"Yeah."

Giles sat down on the bed beside her.

"I want you to give them to me," he said.

She shook her head, and looked away from him.

He gently turned her toward him.

"Buffy...it wasn't your fault," he said.

"Yes it was," Buffy said. "All of it. He lost his soul because of me. Those girls are dead because of me. Jenny's dead because of me. And now...now you don't...you think I don't care about you at all and that's my fault too and I'm sorry. I'm sorry Giles," Buffy said, and started to cry.

He hugged her.

"Forget it," Giles said. "I'm sorry I...well, 'overreacted' isn't quite the word I'm looking for, under the circumstances, but...I know you respect me. Those things I said...I didn't mean them. I was just angry."

"I'm not...I know I'm not what you wanted," Buffy said. "As a Slayer. Faith's more like what you want. She's all, like, letting Rebecca train her and stuff and I was always just...I'm sorry."

"Buffy...you're my Slayer. You're the best Slayer any Watcher could ever hope for. Yes, Faith is a marvelous Slayer too. And as much as Rebecca cared about her, I care about you."

"Can we...still go to the ice capades?"

"Of course, Buffy. Of course we can still go to the ice capades."

"Can you care about Faith too? She needs someone else to care about her."

"Yes. I'll care about Faith too. Buffy...from now on, can you do me one favor? So we can avoid something like this happening again?"

She nodded, and wiped her tears away. "Sure. Anything for my Watcher."

"Don't keep me out anymore. Don't keep things from me. You could've... you should've told me about Angel the moment he first came back."

"I thought...thought you'd just kill him."

"I won't lie and say I wouldn't have been tempted. But I wouldn't have done something like that without talking to you. I would've let you in. And you need to start letting me in, Buffy. It's the only way forward for us. If you can't..."

"I can," Buffy said. "I'm sorry I didn't before." She looked toward the closet. "From now on I will."

Then she turned, and looked back at him.

"Everyone's been kicking my ass lately," Buffy said. "Will, Xander, you. And...I needed my ass kicked. I've been wrong about stuff. Thinking I can do everything myself. It's time to grow up. So, no more keeping you out. No more lies, and not talking. It just leads to problems. If we're gonna move forward, not just me and you but all of us...we need to start talking. To be honest."

"Good," Giles said.

"There's something else," Buffy said.

"Buffy left town after she stabbed Angel through the heart," Willow said. "She ran away to L.A. for the summer. Joyce had kicked her out the day before because the police were questioning Buffy about stuff and Buffy didn't have a good explanation? Plus they were expelling her from school, and Joyce wanted her to stay home. And Buffy wouldn't stay in because she had to go stop Angelus. Joyce didn't know Buffy was the Slayer then and 'Sorry Mom, gotta take off, go kill my boyfriend and save the world' wasn't gonna fly."

"Still seems pretty harsh for Joyce," Faith said.

"Yeah, well...it wasn't just that, it was all the other crazy things that had been piling up. This thing was just the last straw, kinda. Anyway, Buffy left. She didn't want to be found either; she stole one of the talismans from Angelus' place, hoping to hide from me. But that talisman only hides the person who first wears it; it like, imprints on them, and it didn't work for her. So I found her in L.A. a couple days later in this crappy run-down apartment building. Knocked at the door. No answer. And then...I had a bad feeling. I suddenly got really, really scared. Her door was locked, I opened it with a spell. She..."

Tears ran down Willow's cheeks.

"She was in the bathtub. Buffy...she...slit her wrists."

Faith jumped like she'd been hit with a cattle prod. All the blood drained from her face.

"What...?" Faith whispered, her lips trembling.

"She was bleeding out," Willow said. "The cuts were really deep. She wanted to make sure she didn't start healing up before she died."

"No," Faith said, shaking her head, with tears in her eyes. "No, Willow. She wouldn't...do that. My girl...wouldn't do that..."

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Willow said, and hugged her. "I'm sorry. I got her out of there, tied some towels around her wrists, and called an ambulance. The hospital managed to stabilize her. Ten minutes later and she would've been dead."

"But...why?" Faith said. "Why would she do that to herself? Why, Willow? I don't understand."

Faith started to cry.

"Why would she do that?!" Faith said, crying into Willow's sweater. "Why would she do that? Why would my girl DO THAT?!"

"She was in pain, sweetie," Willow said. "Buffy was in pain."

Willow smiled, and kissed Faith's forehead.

"But Auntie Willow was there," Willow said. "Okay, sweetie?"

Faith nodded. Willow kept her arm around Faith as she talked.

"We didn't give the hospital people her name and Buffy wasn't carrying ID," Willow said. "I made up a story, said I'd only known her a week and I didn't know if she had any family. Next day we snuck out of there. Buffy had a waitressing job at this lame little diner and she could barely afford her rent. She had no food. But she wouldn't come home with me. So I emptied my savings account, called my Mom and told her I was backpacking through Europe for the summer and I stayed with Buffy in that crap little one-room apartment for three months. My Mom's a big like, super-intellectual feminist hippie so me backpacking through Europe sounded just right to her and she didn't even question it. I think she always hoped I'd turn out to be a lesbian too but no such luck. I called Xander and told him Buffy and I were gonna hang in L.A. for awhile but I didn't tell him anything else."

"Does Xander know? Does he know about all this? The pictures and...that Buffy...tried to..." Faith said.

"He knows about what happened to Buffy, she let me invite him out after awhile and we all talked. But...Faith...what Angelus did to me? Xander and Giles don't know about that, and you can never tell them. They know about what Angelus said to me in the car, but they don't know that he forced me to have Dru's memories. And they can never find out. You understand, sweetie? Never."

"Why not? I know it's...rough, and personal...but...Xander's your guy."

"Think it through. What do you think Xander does if he finds out? If he finds out, we're done, Faith. All of us. The Scooby Gang? Me, you, Buffy and Xander? It's over. We need Angel for this but Xander would try to kill him and when he couldn't pull it off he'd insist that you and Buffy help him kill him. And if you didn't he'd leave, and take me with him. And I wouldn't want to leave? But he's my guy. So I'd go with him."

"Maybe Xander would be right to want to kill him."

"Maybe. But even if he was, and even if we did? Things would still never be the same. Xander would always blame Buffy for what happened to me. And Giles, I don't know what he'd do, but Giles loved Jenny and Angelus killed her. Plus, Giles is a guy, and...he wouldn't understand the way a girl would. I just... don't want him to know. He doesn't need to know about this. I just want us three girls to know and not anybody else."

"It's not B's fault, what happened. She didn't know he'd lose his soul when they got together. It's Angelus' fault."

"Yeah. But Xander would blame Buffy anyway. He'd blame her for allowing me to help her, for putting me in situations where that kind of stuff could happen to me. I think he'd try to make me stop helping. And you guys are gonna need my help. And I like helping. I want to be a part of this...a part of the fight. But I want Xander too. This secret is how I get to have both."

"Okay," Faith said "My lips are sealed."

"Okay. So anyway, Buffy invited Xander out to L.A. to talk, and she called Joyce. Xander told us Joyce had been freaking and so Buffy called her and told her she was all right. But she wasn't all right, and she wouldn't tell Joyce where she was and she wouldn't go home. Joyce still doesn't know any of this stuff. Just me, you and Xander know."

"Giles?"

"He knows about the eighteen girls...but not about Los Angeles. He knows she ran away there but not that she...tried to kill herself."

"That gonna be another secret?"

"No. Buffy doesn't want any more secrets...after she almost lost you because she lied about Angel, she's done with secrets. She's telling Giles now."

"Why?" Giles said. "Why would you do that to yourself?" He held his head in his hands. Buffy sat next to him, with her sleeves rolled up.

"I don't know," Buffy said.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know."

"I want you to give me those photos."

"No."

They sat on the bed, looking at the floor together. Buffy noticed Giles had a tear rolling down his cheek. She wiped it away.

"You gonna get all girly and emotional now?" Buffy said. "Totally like, improper and completely not British. Where's the stiff upper lip."

"Yes of course, because inappropriate humor is exactly what we need right now," Giles said.

"Am I being puerile? I bet I'm being puerile."

Giles smiled.

"Stop making me smile," he said. "I don't want to smile. This is...my fault. I should've been...I should've...been there for you."

"Nope," Buffy said. "My fault. Because I wouldn't let you be there for me. I ran away from everyone who cares about me. Willow came out and found me and wouldn't leave me alone. Like, not for a second. We were in that little one-room apartment and she didn't let me out of her sight. There was no room for a bed or much furniture and I wouldn't let her sleep in a chair or on the floor so I had her sleep with me. We slept together on a pull-out couch every night. She came to work at the diner with me every morning, and she sat in a booth and drank coffee all day and read library books while I waitressed. She came back to the apartment with me every night and we talked. We were broke. We lived on her savings. She wouldn't take a job because she insisted on being with me every second. She got me through it. She saved me. And the thing is? I had tried my best to make sure she couldn't find me, that none of you could. She found me anyway and made me realize what a dope I was. And, yup, not telling you guys about Angel? Big, dopey relapse. I'm sorry. But I'm back on the wagon now, Giles. You're right here with me and we're facing this thing together."

"I can't be in the house when he comes tonight...not tonight," Giles said. "I'll come back tomorrow."

"Okay. I get that," Buffy said.

"I want you to talk to someone. A professional. The Watchers employ counselors for situations like this...counselors for Slayers. This isn't the first time a Slayer has felt overwhelmed by her responsibilities. You can talk to someone."

"What, a stranger? Like, lie down on a couch and be all, 'Yeah so you know, my Dad took off and my boyfriend went evil and saving the world? Total bummer. Why is life so cruel? Why can't I have a pony?' Yeah, that'll go well."

"I'm serious."

"So am I. I talk to Willow. I can't say this stuff to a stranger, to someone I don't care about. And I talk to Xander, and you...and maybe I can talk to Faith."

"Maybe?"

"If we're still a couple after tonight. I told Willow to tell her all this stuff for me while I talk to you. She's talking to her right now. One thing about Faith, she's a traditionalist. Vampires equal bad. I don't know if...she'll even wanna see me again after tonight."

"Give her a chance, Buffy. Don't shut her out."

"I'll let her in as far as she wants to come. It's...up to her now."

"Jesus Christ," Faith said. Willow hugged her.

"Now you know, sweetie," Willow said. "Now you know everything."

"Why didn't B tell me this stuff?"

"He was her boyfriend. She thought you'd trust it more, coming from me."

"I wanna dust that motherfucker. And he's gonna be here soon and I gotta, what? Look at this guy, the guy who almost killed my girl and wanted to torture you and killed eighteen little kids and I gotta, what, be polite? What the fuck?"

"You can be rude if you want."

"Don't make jokes, Will. He hurt B. I wanna hurt him back."

"We need him, Faith."

Faith looked down at the floor.

"Don't make me do the scowly face," Willow said, doing the scowly face.

"Okay, auntie," Faith said, and smiled.

"Um...actually, I just remembered, there's...something else," Willow said.

"Something else?" Faith said. "Will, I'm holdin' tight here, but I mean it, if that motherfucker did even one more bad thing to B, if he even like, prank called her or told her she looked fat in her skirt? I'm gonna fucking kill him and just deal with the fallout from you and B later. Figure you can't give me the scowly face forever. And B and me are good at making up."

Faith grinned as she said it, but Willow could tell she was nervous. She rubbed Faith's hand.

"It's nothing like that, sweetie," Willow said. "It's about me. Remember that witch Tara told you about, the one who found her?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm her. Someday...I'm gonna travel through time...and gather soldiers. Someday I'm gonna be her."

"How do you know, if you haven't done it yet? Plus she was a brunette."

"My tarot cards told me, and they never lie. And I dye my hair. I'm really a brunette. Plus I have green eyes, and Buffy says I have cute chipmunk teeth."

"You do have cute chipmunk teeth," Faith said. "So. You're the witch."

Faith thought about it.

"Good," Faith said, after a moment.

"Good?" Willow said.

"If anyone's gonna be rallying the troops for some big throw-down someday? I'll feel better knowing it's you," Faith said.

"You...really mean that?" Willow said, and smiled.

"No one better than you, auntie," Faith said, and kissed her cheek.

Sixteen

OLD WOUNDS

Buffy sat on the bed, with her hands in her lap, looking at the closet.

Faith's scent came to her. A little fruity, like a peach. With a hint of muskiness underneath.

"If you don't want to be with me anymore? There are...there are some ground rules," Buffy said.

"Ground rules?" Faith said.

"We have all these new vamps and they're after Willow but...they know you too and for all I know they could come after you," Buffy said "So if...you don't want to be with me you have to...I want you to..."

Buffy started to cry.

"I want you to stay here," Buffy said. "So...I can protect you. You can... bring Tara here if you want."

"Uh-huh," Faith said. "Look at me."

Buffy didn't look at her. She cried, and her shoulders began to shake.

"I don't even get a look?" Faith said. "I don't get to see your face?"

Buffy turned and looked at her. Faith was leaning in the doorway, with her arms folded across her chest. She still wore the coat Buffy had given her.

Faith walked into the room, knelt down in front of her, and took Buffy's hands in hers.

"This whole day," Faith said. "Was it about tryin' to get me to dump you? Was that the plan all along? That what you want?"

Buffy shook her head.

"You wanna dump me then?" Faith said. "You not happy with me maybe? Thinkin' twice about our thing? You bailin' on me? Decide, Buffy. Now."

"I want...I want to be with you, baby," Buffy whispered. "But I don't know...if you want to be with me."

Faith kissed her.

"I do, beautiful," Faith said. Buffy's tears were on her. Buffy's scent was on her. "I do. And I don't just want it. I need it too. I'll stay with you as long as you'll have me."

Buffy nodded, and smiled. They kissed again. Faith kissed Buffy's tears, until they were gone. She fixed Buffy's hair, smoothed it out of her eyes.

Faith looked down at Buffy's hands. She rolled up Buffy's sleeves. She looked at her wrists.

The scars were tiny, insubstantial things, now. They were white, and faded. But they were still there. Faith kissed them, and started to cry.

Then she stopped herself.

"Why'd you do this?" Faith said.

"I don't know," Buffy said.

Faith nodded.

"Small. Faded. I never noticed them," Faith said.

"Slayer healing," Buffy said. "Plus I try to hide them."

Faith kissed Buffy's wrists again.

"How come you thought I'd leave?" Faith said. "Told you I love you. Don't you believe me?"

"I just...I thought...you'd think I was...disgusting," Buffy said. "That I wasn't like...what a Slayer should be. That I wasn't...worthy of you."

"Won't lie to ya, it threw me that you dated a vamp. But that's all it did. It threw me. It confused me. But I didn't judge you. I wasn't thinking less of you. I love you just as much now as before Will and me talked. More, maybe. You had it tough and you were brave and strong and you were my girl."

"I'm your girl?"

"Yeah. You are."

Buffy smiled.

"You still love him," Faith said.

"Yeah," Buffy said.

"You love me?"

"Yeah."

"Am I your choice? Or him?"

Buffy kissed her.

"You," Buffy said.

"Okay," Faith said. "Took guts havin' Will tell me that stuff. Took guts, when you didn't know how I'd act after. Outside of Becca you're the strongest person I ever met, Buffy. She would've liked you."

"I would've liked her too."

"'Til it was time for your first pain in the butt morning run."

"How early?"

"Seven."

"Yup, woulda hated her."

They laughed. Faith caressed Buffy's hair some more, and kissed her wrists again.

"Back in Boston, before Becca found me. I lived on the street, for a couple years, y'know?" Faith said. "My mother used to kick the shit out of me so I took off. I crashed on couches, went to parties, did what I could to get out of the cold, get some food in my belly. I was always shiverin', always all skin and bones. When it got real cold and I couldn't sleep outside anymore, if a guy runnin' a party was cute? I'd make out with him, give him a blowjob. So I could stay. Word got around. I was like the party girl of the neighborhood. I was the skank of the neighborhood. I was a whore. Sure, I didn't stand on a street corner doin' it for money or anything. I only did it with guys I liked, so I could hang out at their place for a few days, get a few free meals, and I never went all the way with them. But I figure it's the same difference though. I figure I was a whore anyway. Am I worthy of you? Do you want to leave me now?"

Buffy kissed her.

"I want to stay with you, as long as you'll have me," Buffy said. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world and I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

"Okay," Faith said.

They looked at each other.

"This coat," Faith said. "I really liked it when I first tried it on in the store. I wanted it pretty bad. I was tempted to shoplift it. Know why I didn't?"

"Why?" Buffy said.

"Because when I was wearing it, in front of the mirror at Bloomingdale's? You called me beautiful. It was the first time you ever called me beautiful. That made this coat special to me. I decided right then that if I wanted it I'd have to find a way to get it honestly."

Buffy smiled.

"Remember our first day?" Faith said.

"I was a bitch," Buffy said.

"So was I. Did you ever in a million years believe we'd end up here?"

"No."

"Life's crazy sometimes. Doesn't mean it's not good. Doesn't mean there aren't rewards...precious things you find. Beautiful things. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, Buffy. I used to have no self-respect and think the world was all shittin' all over me and I was always feelin' bad for myself. I wanted to die. When Becca found me I was in an alley covered with garbage and four vamps were about to kill me. She saved my life that night. Then she saved me again, every single day after that. It was my birthday, when she found me and saved me. It was my birthday, when you told me you love me and saved me again."

"I love you, baby," Buffy said.

"I love you too," Faith said.

"Come to bed with me?" Buffy said.

"Show me the pictures first," Faith said. "I need to see."

"Shoebox in the closet."

Faith walked to the closet and opened it. It was a big walk-in closet with enough clothes hanging in it to outfit the Philippines. The floor of the closet was shoes stretching out in all directions in a vista of unbroken fabulousness that Imelda Marcos would have called a good, solid foundation.

"Shit girl, you got some serious shoes in here. So borrowin' these," Faith said. "All of 'em. Especially those pretty black boots over there. Mine."

"I'm borrowing those Givenchys," Buffy said.

"Sure thing, lover. Where am I looking?"

"Top shelf, right corner in the back, under the blanket."

"Not likin' closets too much after what Angelus did to Will."

"Are you gonna try to kill Angel when he gets here?"

"No. Want to. Won't."

"Why?"

Faith found the shoebox under the blanket, took it down from the shelf, and brought it back to the bed.

"Auntie Will says no," Faith said. "And you don't want me to either. And we need him." She sat next to Buffy on the bed.

"Auntie Will," Buffy said, and smiled.

"Yeah," Faith said. "She can be my auntie if she wants. No way Xander's my uncle though. He'd goof on me all day. Gotta draw the line somewhere. Givin' you fair warning by the way, I'm planning on being pretty damn impolite to Angel when he gets here. Probably impertinent too."

"Make fun of his hair. He hates that."

"Sounds like a plan." Faith opened the shoebox and took out thirty six photographs. She spread them out on the bed.

"Jesus Christ," Faith said.

They were photos of little girls. In eighteen of the photos, the girls were alive. They were playing at the park, and at the beach, and in their front yards... they were alive...they were all smiling.

In the other eighteen photos, the same girls were dead. They were lying on a concrete floor. Each one had her throat torn out. The photos of the dead girls were close-ups; no useful information could be gained about their location. Each photo contained a concrete floor, and a child's dead body, and nothing else.

"He stalked them first," Faith said. "They're all happy in the first pics. How the hell did he get pictures of them in the sun? Telephoto lens maybe, while he was inside somewhere?"

"He always...was meticulous, about stuff," Buffy said. "When he came up with plans...everything was always perfect, right down to the smallest detail."

Faith picked up a photo at random and looked at it. A smiling blonde-haired girl with big blue eyes was playing with a black labrador retriever puppy in her front yard. She was squirting it with a garden hose, and laughing. "Young," Faith said. "This girl couldn't have been more than maybe six."

"Amanda Pickering," Buffy said.

Faith put the photo down, and picked up another. The girl in the photo had long red hair and freckles. She sat on the beach, making a sandcastle.

"Lisa Cooper," Buffy said.

"You know their names?" Faith said.

"He wrote them on the back."

Faith looked at the back of the photo. Lisa Cooper, age seven, was written there, in beautiful, flowing script.

"Nice handwriting," Faith said.

"Yeah," Buffy said.

"You know all the names? Got 'em all memorized?"

"Yeah," Buffy said. "They're never gonna grow up because of me, least I can do is know their names."

Faith looked up at her.

"Not because of you," Faith said. "Because of him."

"Because of me," Buffy said, and started to cry again. "Because of me, because of me."

"No, baby," Faith said, and took her in her arms. "No."

"Because of me," Buffy said, and collapsed in Faith's arms, and cried...

"No, baby."

"They were...they were just little. They didn't, didn't do anything to anybody...they didn't. Why did he...why did he do that to them? Why did he have to...? Why couldn't he kill me? Why couldn't he? Why couldn't he, just, just kill me...? They're not gonna grow up, Faith. They're never gonna grow up..."

Buffy started shaking. Faith held her tight.

"They were just BABIES!" Buffy screamed, as Faith held her to her bosom. "They're never gonna...gonna go to school or...have their first crush or anything! They're never gonna live, because of me. He should've killed me. He should've killed me. I should be dead, I should be dead, not them. I should be dead."

"No," Faith said, and kissed her, and held her. "No."

"I should be dead..." Buffy whispered.

"So now Faith knows," Xander said. He was on the couch in the living room, drinking a beer. It was one of his secrets for dealing with life as a Slayer's friend. Beer kept the edge off. Willow was sitting beside him, with her head in his lap, staring at the Key on the coffee table. She nodded.

"How'd she take it?" Xander said. "She gonna hang in?"

"Freaked a little," Willow said. "Kinda, um, wants to kill Angel, a lot. But she's gonna hang in with Buffy. She loves her."

"Good. And if Faith wants she can join my 'Hey Let's Just Fucking Dust Angel And Get It Over With' club. Dues are reasonable. I'm the president."

"I might wanna be vice-president. Are you gonna make a scene when he gets here? Are you gonna make this harder on everyone?"

"I don't intend to. But in all honesty? Yeah, probably."

Willow kissed him, and went back to lying in his lap.

"Does Faith know about L.A. too?" Xander said.

"Yeah," Willow said. "Buffy said tell her everything."

"How'd she take it?"

"Cried."

"You sure she won't take a run at Angel?

"I told her, y'know, me and Buffy kinda don't want her to. I think Faith will hold herself back for us. Don't think she likes it much though."

"What about...the stuff Angelus said to you in the car. Faith knows about that too now?"

"Um...yeah," Willow said. "I mean...I don't...really like to talk about that so...I mean...I didn't go into details. She knows he said stuff...about wanting to kidnap me and kill me. But I didn't like, give her exact quotes."

"Didn't give me exact quotes either," Xander said.

"He said he was gonna kidnap me and lock me in a closet. He said he'd rape me every day."

Xander's face turned red. He looked straight ahead, at the far wall.

"You want to know, right?" Willow said.

"Yeah," Xander said.

Willow sat up, and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"He said he was gonna capture Joyce too, to lure Buffy. Once Buffy got there he was gonna make her give herself to him, make her let him chain her up, in exchange for letting Joyce live. Then he was gonna let Joyce go, so she could have to live with the knowledge that Buffy being captured was her fault."

Xander's body was rigid; his hands were balled up into fists.

"Then he was gonna rape Buffy every day, and make me...make me join in. If I didn't he said he would kill Buffy in front of me. Plus I'd still be living in the closet, and he'd still rape me every day too. Eventually he said he was gonna make me a vampire, but only if I said 'please' first. If I didn't say please I'd have to live in the closet for the rest of my life. I was gonna be the new Dru. He said I was gonna be his next masterpiece. He was gonna break me, and turn me. And then, once he turned me, he was gonna...have me be the one who kills Buffy."

Xander didn't say anything. He sat still, and looked straight ahead.

"Now you know...what he said. I don't...I don't want to keep secrets from you," Willow said. "But...I want to put all that behind me. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Okay?"

Xander nodded.

"You okay, sweetie?" Willow said.

He put his arm around her, and kissed her.

"I have you," he said. "I'll be okay."

"You'll...be okay with...Angel?" Willow said.

"No. But I won't try to kill him. I told Buffy I wouldn't. And...you're not the only one Angel...Angelus...hurt. He hurt Buffy too, and she's being all about the mission. Guess I can be all about the mission too."

"She would've killed him yesterday, if I hadn't stopped her."

"Yeah. Buffy killing Angel. Kinda like my dream come true. You said she really kicked the shit out of him, huh?"

"I didn't see the whole thing, I was heading back to the car when I heard the chandelier fall. I ran back and the place looked like a hurricane hit it and Angel was just...his whole face was bloody. His nose looked broke. He was just lying there, letting her beat him up. I think...he wants to die."

"Can't blame him. Fucker should die."

"Maybe. I said that to him too...but...Angel and Angelus aren't the same, Xander. I mean, what if you or I lost our souls? What kind of people would we become? When his curse--"

"He never told us about it."

"What?"

"His curse," Xander said. "When we all first met him? Once he proved to Buffy that he was on our side, that he wanted to help? Sure, he eventually told Buffy about his past as Angelus, because he knew Giles would figure it out anyway. And he told her about how those gypsies gave him his soul, because he knew telling her he has a soul made it easier for Buffy to accept him. But he never told Buffy--never told anyone--that a moment of perfect happiness could make him lose his soul. He knew, Willow. He knew it was a risk, being with Buffy, that he could lose his soul. And he didn't care. He didn't tell us. If he had told Buffy about it, maybe they wouldn't have..."

"They would have," Willow said. "Xander...you can't help who you love. Even if she knew the risk, Buffy would have slept with him eventually. Yeah, she would have tried to stay away maybe? But...she loved him. Being smart, and sensible? Thinking like, tactically? When you fall in love all that stuff goes out the window. You just...follow your heart."

"Even if it takes you over a cliff," Xander said.

"Over a cliff..." Willow said, and smiled, and rested her hand on his crotch. "Down your pants..."

"I've been noticing that whenever we have awkward, uncomfortable conversations you always try to distract me with your feminine wiles."

"Noticed that, huh?" Willow said, and kissed him, and unzipped his pants.

"Will...that stuff...he said to you."

"It's...behind us. It's...it doesn't matter. If we let it...if we let it interfere with us, if we let it get to us...I don't want it to change things. I don't want it to matter anymore. Xander...it only has power over us if, if we let it."

She kissed him.

"So don't let it," she said. "Please? Let's...forget about it?"

He touched her cheek. He looked her in the eyes.

"Please, baby?" Willow whispered. "For me?"

"Okay," he said. "Can't ever say no to my cowgirl."

Willow smiled, and pulled down his jeans.

"On the couch?" Xander said, as Willow caressed him over his boxers. "Risky. If they come back down..."

"I, um, have a feeling they're gonna be up there for awhile," Willow said.

"I love you, baby," Xander said, and took her in his arms, and kissed her. Willow pulled down his boxers, and took his dick in her hand, and stroked it.

Xander tried to lift Willow's sweater. She shook her head, and gently pushed him back against the couch.

"What...are you doing?" Xander said, and grinned.

Willow cupped his balls in one hand, and stroked his dick with the other. She kissed his neck, and smiled.

"You've been captured behind enemy lines, Specialist," Willow murmured. "I'm interrogating you."

"I'm...gonna reveal everything I know," Xander said. "All the like... classified...information."

"Not yet," Willow said. "I'm gonna need to torture you for awhile longer first." She went on slowly stroking him, caressing his balls with one hand, and his dick with the other, while she kissed his neck.

"Not sure...how long I can take this punishment," Xander said.

"You're a brave soldier. You can hold out for awhile. Until I bring out the soft cushions. Once I start poking you with the soft cushions you're gonna fold right up."

Xander giggled. "Gonna poke you with something in a minute."

"Something soft?" Willow whispered in his ear, and licked it. "Or something hard?"

"Guess what?" he whispered.

"What?" she whispered.

"I'm planning on escaping," he said, and kissed her. "I'm gonna overpower the guard."

"You are, huh?"

He threw her down on the couch. She gasped, and laughed.

He held both of her hands in one of his, and unbuttoned her blouse. She made a little show of trying to sit up again, but he had her pinned.

Willow felt her pussy getting wet.

"You're gonna have to...do better than that to overpower this guard," Willow whispered. "I've had...combat training."

She tried harder to get up, but she still couldn't move. He had her blouse unbuttoned. He unsnapped her bra. Her breasts were perfectly round and very pale, with big, light pink areolae and large nipples. Her nipples were hard. Xander began kissing them, and released her hands.

Willow grabbed his hand and locked it around her wrists again.

"Don't you gotta...make sure I don't escape?" Willow said. "And maybe...you should give me orders."

"Will you obey the orders?" Xander whispered, and kissed her.

"Come up here," Willow whispered.

"Thought I was the one giving the orders," he said, and unzipped her jeans, and started awkwardly pulling them down with one hand. He wasn't making much headway; they were tight.

"Once you come up here, you can give all the orders," Willow said. She was moaning now.

He knelt over her chest. His dick was fully erect and it stuck straight out, inches from her face. It was dark red; his dick always got that color when it was hard. Willow always thought his dick looked angry. She always wanted to kiss it and make it feel better.

He held her down with one hand, and looked down into her eyes.

She hadn't told him that she had Faith's memories. She wasn't sure she ever would...it would complicate things. She knew he'd always be comparing himself to Buffy...

She moved her head forward, to take him in her mouth...

He moved back slightly, pulling it just out of her reach, and smiled.

"First order is, don't move," he said, and released her hands. "Stay like this." She nodded.

He kicked off his shoes, and took off his jeans and his boxers. He took off Willow's sneakers, and wrestled her out of her jeans. He caressed her pussy, over her panties. A shudder went through her, and she opened her legs.

She held her hands back behind her head, where he'd left them.

He slowly pulled her panties down, raising her legs in the air as he did it. By the time he slipped them off her feet, both of her legs were over his shoulders.

Her legs were curvy, and creamy white. Her socks were pink with little white hearts.

Her pussy was soaked now. She closed her eyes. She felt flushed...she felt herself becoming hot, all over...

Xander leaned forward, and kissed her...

Buffy kissed her.

It wasn't a romantic kiss. It wasn't tender. It was hungry. Buffy's lips tore into Willow's, her tongue jammed into Willow's mouth, her hands wrenched Willow's hair, pulling her closer.

Xander took Willow's hands in his again, and held her down. He rubbed his dick against her clit. She began moaning, and thrusting her hips forward.

Buffy snarled as she kissed her. She looped Willow's long, dark hair like a rope around her hand, holding it in her fist, holding Willow in place as she forced their tongues together and moved her hand across Willow's breasts, and up and down her thighs. Willow whimpered, as they kissed, and Buffy forced her tongue deeper into her, and yanked her hair so hard Willow thought she might tear it out of her head.

Xander gently rubbed Willow's clit with his dick. But he didn't bring himself inside. Willow's moans got louder, and faster.

"I might...escape," Willow murmured. "You should...you should hold my hair too. Make sure...I don't escape."

Xander took Willow's hair in his hand, and caressed it.

"You should...hold it tight, like, yank it a little. Hold me in place," Willow murmured.

Xander held Willow in place by the hair, and looked into her eyes...

Buffy's eyes were hard and bright like diamonds and the terrible light in them scared Willow...she felt like some small, helpless animal. She felt like prey.

Willow knew she was looking into the Slayer's eyes.

"You belong to me," Buffy said. "You're mine."

Willow thought her voice sounded strange. It was Buffy's voice, and yet it wasn't...it was the Slayer's voice. It sounded like a cold wind rustling through leaves at night...it sounded like stealthy footfalls in the tall grass.

Willow was frozen. She wanted to look away from Buffy's eyes, they frightened her, but she couldn't...Buffy's eyes held her, and wouldn't let her go...

"Say it," Buffy snarled, and showed Willow her teeth, and yanked Willow's hair again, making her wince with pain, and bringing tears to her eyes.

"I belong to you," Willow whispered, shaking a little now.

"I belong to you," Willow whispered, as Xander went on teasing her clit with his dick, and looked down into her eyes...

And Willow remembered Buffy's eyes...eyes that were hard and bright like diamonds, with a terrible light that scared her...that made her wet.

"And I belong to you, cowgirl," Xander said.

Willow was thrusting her hips out like she was fucking now, but he hadn't entered her yet; he was still teasing her clit. Her blood pulsed through her.

He kissed her neck...

"Give me your neck," Buffy said.

Still shaking, Willow moved her hair aside, and turned the left side of her neck to Buffy, where Buffy had bitten her before. Buffy growled, and dragged her teeth across it...

Willow squealed, as Buffy bit into her neck--slowly, gently, careful not to penetrate too deep. But she bit deeper than she had the last time, and her teeth felt like razors. Willow wrapped her arms and legs around Buffy, and held on tight to her, as Buffy snarled, and began taking her blood, and swallowing it.

Xander rubbed her clit harder with his dick as he kissed Willow's neck; he was fucking her clit now. Willow wrapped her legs around him, and began to squeal. She felt like she was shaking all over...

Buffy moved her hand between Willow's legs, and began caressing her there. Willow shuddered at her touch. It sent a spasm through her that rocked her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

Xander kept fucking her clit...Willow felt like a violin. She knew she was about to...

Willow had tears in her eyes. She realized she had just orgasmed.

Willow came, thrashing around and gasping underneath him...

"I wanna...I wanna blow you," Willow whispered, when her breathing calmed down. "I wanna get on my knees and blow you before we do it."

"I'm giving the orders here, remember?" Xander said.

Buffy took Willow by the hair again, looping it around her fist like a rope, and got up. She walked toward one of the chairs near the window, dragging Willow after her by her hair. Her grip was gentle but firm; she wasn't yanking Willow's hair, she was holding it like a leash. Willow crawled after her, her pussy getting wet again.

"But actually I think you're onto something there," Xander said. He got up off of her, and Willow got down on her knees in front of him as he sat back on the couch. She knew he was close to coming too, and since she wanted him to fuck her for a good long time it would be better if she finished him off this way first and then saved the actual fucking for the second round. Xander had some beer in him, and whenever he had some beer in him he lasted almost forever the second time; their record was fifty-seven minutes. She wanted to beat that record today.

"If you don't hold me still I could escape," Willow whispered, and took his hand, and brought it to her hair.

Xander took her hair in his hand again.

Buffy opened her legs, and brought Willow to her pussy lips.

"Make me come now, baby," Buffy said.

"Do you...want me to make you come?" Willow whispered, and looked up into his eyes...and remembered Buffy's...

He nodded. She took him in her mouth...

Willow suddenly felt like she was going to explode. She rammed her mouth against Buffy's pussy, stuck her tongue as far inside as it would go and began sucking on her clit. Buffy's clit was small, but it grew larger as Willow took all of it in her mouth and sucked on it.

Willow had given Xander a good number of blowjobs and she knew what he liked; she caressed his balls, and kept her mouth near the top of his dick. He wasn't very sensitive along the shaft, but he loved her mouth toward the top...

"That's...yeah, Will...yeah...God you're good at that, honey," Xander moaned, as Willow sucked his dick.

It didn't take him long to come. After a minute Willow felt it; his dick began to shudder in her mouth, and she tasted his pre-cum on her tongue. He always tasted salty, and a little bitter.

Willow remembered the way Buffy's pussy had tasted...sweet, and tangy. She tried to put the thought out of her mind...

"Oh God, baby..." Buffy whispered, and threw her head back, and moaned...

"Yeah, honey...yeah..." Xander whispered, and his threw his head back, and moaned, and came in her mouth.

She'd just started letting him come in her mouth the week before. It was easier than always having to figure out where to aim it and then having to clean up afterwards. She didn't like the taste, so she always swallowed it quickly. It was like taking medicine. Luckily he never came too much; he came in a series of quick spurts, but it all usually added up to a couple of tablespoons. And it always shot straight down her throat, so she didn't have to taste it much on her tongue.

It was too salty, too bitter.

Buffy tasted sweet, and tangy...

Willow tried to put the thought out of her mind...

Faith laid with Buffy on the bed, holding her in her arms, and looking down into her eyes.

Buffy held onto Faith, as tightly as she could.

The photos were back in the shoebox.

"You're my girl," Faith said, and caressed Buffy's cheek. "You'll always be my girl. You understand that?"

Buffy nodded.

"And I love you," Faith said. "You understand that?"

Buffy nodded.

"I always will," Faith said. "No matter what. You understand that too?"

Buffy nodded.

"I'm gonna help you with this, Buffy," Faith said. "All this stuff. We're gonna get through it together. Me and you. Okay, beautiful?"

"Okay," Buffy whispered, and tears filled her eyes.

"My girl," Faith whispered, and held Buffy close, and kissed her. "Love my girl."

Willow leaned her head back, and moaned.

Xander licked her between her legs.

The exercise regimen she had put him on had worked wonders: his tongue was a lot stronger than it used to be...

Buffy moved between her legs, a lion looking down at a fresh kill, and began gently licking Willow's pussy. Her tongue was soft, and warm, and a shudder went through Willow at its touch.

"I told you I wouldn't let you escape," Xander said, looking up at her from between her legs with that goofy smile he had...

"We'll see, baby," Willow purred, and smiled, with her legs up over his shoulders...

Buffy never took her eyes off Willow, as she feasted; she held Willow's eyes in hers, and never once allowed Willow to look away...

Willow ran her fingers through Xander's hair, as he sucked on her clit, and alternated that with tonguing her pussy.

Willow closed her eyes...

She saw Buffy, looking back at her...

She saw Buffy's eyes, like diamonds in the dark...

Willow came, with a little scream this time; she grit her teeth together, and tried to stifle the scream, tried to hold it back. She didn't want to be too loud. If Buffy heard, and came down to see what the noise was...if she saw...

She didn't want Buffy to see her with Xander.

Willow cried when she came, and Buffy moved up beside her again, and kissed her tears away. She held Willow in her arms, and rubbed her belly.

Xander moved on top of Willow, and held her in his arms, and caressed her hair. Willow looked up into his eyes.

Willow looked up into Buffy's bright, sharp eyes, and felt special. Those eyes were hard to look at without looking away; there was still something frightening in them. But Willow knew she didn't have to be frightened. She was Buffy's cub. She knew Buffy would never hurt her. Buffy's eyes swallowed hers up...she got lost in them. Willow knew she belonged to Buffy. That was all that mattered. Willow didn't want anything else.

"It's time, baby," Buffy whispered, as she rubbed Willow's belly. "I'm gonna take you now."

"Ready to follow orders, cowgirl?" Xander whispered, as he caressed her hair. Willow felt him, against her; he was hard again.

"Whatever you want," Willow said. "I'll do anything for you. I'll die for you."

"Whatever you want," Willow said.

"The correct response is, 'yes, sir'," Xander said, and moved his dick against her pussy lips.

"Spread your legs for me, Faith," Buffy said.

"What...what are you gonna do?" Willow said, and slowly opened her legs.

Willow felt something against her pussy lips.

"I order you to let me have my evil way with you," Xander said, and smiled his goofy smile.

"I'm gonna fuck your brains out, baby," Buffy whispered in her ear.

"What's...what's that...?" Willow whispered, and tried to look under the covers. But Buffy grabbed her by the hair, yanking it hard, like a leash. Willow squealed.

"Look at me," Buffy said.

"I'm...gonna try to escape," Willow murmured, as she felt herself parting for him. "Gonna have to...hold me down. Make sure I don't...get away."

Xander took her hand, but she shook her head. She moved his hand to her hair. He took her by the hair, and held her still.

He kissed her, and looked down into her eyes.

Buffy kissed her, and looked down into her eyes.

"This is our night," Buffy said. "Of all the nights we've had, all the ones we're gonna have, this is the one you're always gonna remember as the night I claimed you. This is the night I say you belong to me. This is the night I take you and make you mine. And I want you to look at me when I take you, Faith. I want you to look into my eyes."

"This...this whole thing...it's...different," Xander said. "You're different today. You never wanted me to like, pull your hair and stuff before."

"Is it...okay?" Willow said. "I just...wanted something...a little different."

"Anything for my cowgirl," Xander said. "Uh...drawing the line at whips and chains though."

He moved himself into her. He went in easily; they'd been making love for a month and a half and they fit like a glove now.

"How...are you gonna...?" Willow started to say...

And then she screamed, as Buffy thrust into her and penetrated her, as far as she could go. Willow felt every inch of it, filling her up; it slid in easily but it stretched her out, made her expand to accommodate it.

Willow felt a wave of panic rushing through her; it felt like flood waters, steadily rising...she thought she might drown...

"No, Buffy no!" Willow screamed. "You're too big, you're too big...!"

"Is that good, baby?" Xander said, as he began slowly fucking her.

"Sshhh, baby," Buffy said.

Willow shook her head, and started to cry again.

"You're too big," Willow whispered, and looked away from her, and sobbed into the pillow. "I can't, I can't..."

"Yeah...feels...perfect, baby," Willow whispered, as she moved in time with him. She moved down the couch a little underneath him, and moved her knees up to her stomach, so she could take all of him, as far as he could go.

"Yeah...it always does," Xander said, and kissed her.

Willow nodded, and moaned, and closed her eyes...and pictured him. His eyes...his smile...

"Look at me!" Buffy shouted.

Willow looked up at her, still sobbing.

"You're afraid," Buffy said.

Willow tried to think of Xander.

Instead she thought of diamond eyes, and jasmine...

Buffy thrust into her, and looked down into her eyes, and Willow looked back. The room was quiet. Willow concentrated on Buffy's eyes, and took in her scent. Jasmine.

After the initial pain when Buffy had plunged all the way into her and Willow's pussy had adjusted and stretched out to accommodate her, it didn't hurt. Buffy was going slow. Willow felt filled up, but not in a painful way.

Willow put her arms around Buffy, and kissed her shoulder. Buffy caressed her cheek, and kept going slow...

Willow put her arms around Xander, and kissed his shoulder.

Buffy started moving faster, bringing it almost all the way out, and then moving all the way back in. Willow sped her own motion up too, and suddenly she and Buffy were in perfect synch, their bodies moving together now...

Willow sped up, and Xander matched her speed, thrusting harder now, ramming himself into her.

"Kiss...kiss my neck," Willow whispered.

Xander began kissing her neck. Willow wrapped her legs around him...

Buffy began kissing her neck. Willow wrapped her legs around Buffy, and slid her feet up and down Buffy's thighs, enjoying the feel of Buffy's soft, sleek skin beneath her toes, and the feel of the muscles bunched underneath it, long and thick and hard as steel, moving like pistons, flexing with every thrust.

"That's it, baby," Buffy whispered, and kissed her. "That's it."

"Ride 'em, cowgirl," Xander whispered, and kissed her.

Willow smiled. "Are you...gonna...call me that forever now?" she murmured, between moans. "Is that...like... my new nickname?"

"Thinking about it," Xander said.

Willow's moans were building now, getting louder. Buffy moved herself up higher, so she could move against Willow's clit. A shudder immediately went through Willow, and her legs began to tremble

Xander lifted Willow's legs over his shoulders, and leaned forward as he rammed himself into her.

"Got you just how I want you now," he whispered, and kissed her.

"That's my baby," Buffy whispered, and kissed her.

Willow felt her orgasm building...her arms began to shake. She felt like she was about to burst. She looked up into Xander's eyes again.

"You gonna have another epileptic fit?" Xander whispered.

"It's...not an epileptic fit," Willow whispered, and brought him back down to her lips, and kissed him.

Willow looked up into Buffy's eyes again, as Buffy kissed her and smiled down at her.

"Does my baby want to come for me?" Buffy whispered.

Willow nodded, and brought Buffy back down to her lips, and kissed her.

Willow was breathless, gasping and squealing with every thrust now. She felt hot, like she was about to explode...

Willow was screaming with every thrust now, quick breathless squeals; she felt hot, like she was about to explode, but she felt perfectly calm at the same time...serene. She thought she was approaching something, something that scared her, but something she wanted too.

"I'm...gonna..." Willow squealed.

"Me...me too..." Xander said. "Here's hoping...you beat me."

"I'm gonna...I'm...gonna..." Willow squealed.

"I know, baby," Buffy said.

"I'm gonna...come..." Willow whispered, as her whole body trembled. Xander was shaking now, too. Willow knew he was almost there...

"I'm...I'm gonna..." Willow squealed again, as she felt her tears streaming down her cheeks, and a wave of warmth began flooding through her.

"Come for me, baby," Xander whispered, and hugged her, and held her close, as he filled her up...

"Come for me, baby," Buffy whispered, and hugged her, and held her close, as she filled her up...

Willow felt her eyes filling up with tears.

And then Willow felt herself overflowing.

She felt like she was letting something go, releasing something that she had been holding inside her whole life...

"Buffy..." Willow whispered, as she felt her orgasm explode through her...and her tears ran down her cheeks...

It felt like dropping a heavy weight...setting down a burden. She cried, and screamed, and wailed, and hugged Buffy as hard as she could, as she felt herself emptying out; as everything she had held inside for so long finally flowed out of her, and her whole body trembled. Willow didn't know if she would ever stop trembling...

Xander came inside her a few seconds later; Willow barely noticed. He grunted, and his body went rigid on top of her, and she felt a shudder move through him. Then he went limp, and she heard his breathing in her ear; it came in quick shallow gasps.

He held her tight.

"Oh, God...oh, God... " Willow whispered, and turned her head away from Xander, and buried it in the burgundy throw pillow beside her.

Buffy held her tight.

"It's okay, baby," Buffy said. "I'm right here. From now on, I'm always right here, okay? Always. Always."

"Oh, Goddess..." Willow whispered, into the pillow, and cried.

Faith laid with Buffy on the bed, and held her in her arms. Buffy laid curled up in a little ball, resting her head on Faith's bosom.

"Those pics are heavy," Faith said. "They weigh a lot. They weigh so much, I think they're crushing you."

Buffy didn't say anything. She ran her fingers over Faith's knees.

"You didn't try to kill yourself because you were ready to die," Faith said. "You tried to kill yourself because you thought you deserved to die."

"Yeah," Buffy said.

"You didn't deserve to die."

"I did. I do. He lost his soul because of me. Those kids are dead because of me. Because a Slayer fell in love with a vampire. Because a Slayer fell down on the job. You were right before...in that alley, what you said to that vampire. It's disgusting. I'm disgusting." Buffy started to cry.

"What?" Faith said, and sat up.

"You were right to be disgusted by me," Buffy said. "I'm...disgusting. I'm disgusting."

"Listen to me!" Faith yelled, and took Buffy by the shoulders. "I'm not disgusted by you. I never was and I never in a million years could be."

Tears filled Faith's eyes.

"I love you, honey," Faith said. "All I can ever do is love you. Why won't you believe me?"

"I love you baby," Buffy said, and kissed her. "I need you."

"I'm right here," Faith said, and hugged her. "Always gonna be right here. Right here loving you."

Faith looked Buffy in the eyes.

"Now you listen to me," Faith said. "That word? 'Disgusting'? I don't wanna ever hear you use it again. Got it? That's not the way I feel about you, I could never feel that way about you. I mean it Buffy, I don't want you to ever fucking say that to me again. I love you and you're my whole world and I can never hear that from you again. You understand me?"

Buffy nodded. Faith kissed her.

"Honey," Faith whispered, and held her close. "I love you. I love you. I love you. You're my girl."

Buffy nodded.

"I love you," Faith whispered, as she held her. "I love you. I love you. Never gonna stop. Never, ever gonna stop. You're my strong, brave, beautiful girl and I'll love you as long as I live."

"I don't...I don't feel strong," Buffy whispered.

"You are," Faith whispered. "You are. Do you believe me when I say I love you? Do you believe me honey?"

Buffy nodded.

"That's my girl," Faith said, and kissed her again.

"But I don't...I don't know why. I don't know why you love me," Buffy said. "Why you love me when I..."

"Because you're strong," Faith said. "Because you're brave. Because you're beautiful. Because you're so beautiful. Because you're mine."

Buffy nodded, and smiled.

"You gotta move on from here, Buffy," Faith said. "You and me are gonna have to start talkin' this thing out. Okay?"

"So you're a shrink now?" Buffy said. "Yeah Doctor Faith, so my Dad took off and my boyfriend killed lots of people and saving the world sucks. I always wanted a pony. Why can't I have a frigging pony?"

"I'm serious, Buffy. It's the one rule, the one thing I insist on. I love you unconditionally, but you need to let me in if we're gonna be together. You understand me, beautiful? You shut me out on this and we're done. I'll always love you, Buffy, I can't stop, I'm gonna love you forever. But I'll walk out that door right now unless you promise you'll let me be there for you on this."

"I promise," Buffy said.

"Okay," Faith said, and took Buffy in her arms, and kissed her.

Buffy felt it crackling through her...

"How'd you know?" Buffy said. "How'd you know why I did it?"

"Been there," Faith said. "That apartment in L.A., I figure it was a lot like my alley in Boston. When those vamps were after me I gave up. Sat there right where they tossed me, in that pile of garbage, waiting for them to finish me off. Figured I deserved it. Becca snapped me outta that shit, straightened me right the fuck out. She never, ever let me hate myself. She wouldn't tolerate it. Kicked my ass whenever she saw me actin' like that...like, actin' like I thought I was dumb or whatever. Thing is? It had to be Becca. I couldn't have done it myself, I needed help. You do too. Everyone needs help sometimes, honey. I needed help from Becca, now you need help from me. Even Becca needed help once."

"Rebecca doesn't sound like she ever needed help, not the way you and Will talk about her," Buffy said, and smiled.

"Not when she was with me," Faith said. "But she told me once that something real bad happened to her a long time ago, and someone got her out of it. Everyone needs help sometimes, honey. But the first thing, the hardest thing? Is admitting you need help and taking it. Letting someone who loves you take the weight for you. Becca loved me. I love you. You gonna let me help you, Buffy? Gonna let me be your Becca?"

"Yeah."

Buffy moved off the bed, and knelt down in front of her. She touched Faith's knees, and moved her hands under her skirt. She started to pull Faith's panties down. Faith took her hands, and stopped her. She held Buffy's hands, and kissed her.

"You love me?" Faith said.

"Yeah, baby," Buffy said. "And I need you now."

"I hear you sayin' it," Faith said. "Now mean it. Give me the pictures."

"No, no, I...can't," Buffy said. "I need them."

"THEY'RE FUCKING KILLING YOU!" Faith screamed.

Buffy looked down at the floor.

"When's the last time you looked at them before just now?" Faith said.

"Last night," Buffy said. "While you were asleep."

"Time before that?"

"Couple nights before."

"How often do you look at the pictures?"

"A few times a week maybe."

"Buffy. You're strong. When I said you're the strongest person I ever met outside of Becca I wasn't lyin'. But you need help now. And part of being strong is having the strength to let someone else be strong for you. To let me be strong for you. Not just me. Will and Xander and Giles and Joyce too. Ever since I came out here you've been the momma. You've been keeping me safe, protecting me, taking care of me. And I love you for it, honey. But now you gotta let me be the momma for awhile. Because that's what love really is. It's sharing the weight. Those pics weigh too much for you to carry alone. Let me carry them awhile. I won't throw them away, okay? I'll just hold onto them. If you need to look at them I'll let you. But I'm not gonna tell you where I'm keeping them, and I want you to try not looking at them for awhile. Instead of looking at them I want you to talk to me about them instead. Can you do all that?"

Buffy looked up at her, and started to cry again.

"Buffy," Faith said. "Do you love me enough to do all that for me?"

Buffy nodded.

"Okay," Faith said, and kissed her. "Okay, beautiful. Okay." Then she picked her up in her arms, and laid her down on the bed.

Faith sat beside her, and looked down at her, and kissed her hand.

"Honey...we're gonna get through this," Faith said, and held her hand tight. "What we have? You and me? It's stronger than those pictures. It's stronger than anything in the world."

Buffy nodded.

"You and me, Buffy," Faith said. "We'll get through it together."

"Okay," Buffy said.

"I love you," Faith said, and kissed her.

"I love you too," Buffy said.

I'll be right back," Faith said. "Okay?"

Buffy nodded.

"You wanna get undressed for me?" Faith said. "Then when I come back we can maybe break some more stuff? Or hey, there's always your old cheerleader outfit."

"Okay," Buffy said, and giggled.

"There it is," Faith said. "Been lookin' all over for that smile."

Faith kissed her again, and hugged her.

"You keep me warm, Buffy," Faith said. "I'm gonna keep you warm too."

Buffy nodded, and held on tight to her, and leaned her head on her shoulder.

"When I come back up, I'm gonna show you how much I love you, beautiful," Faith whispered in her ear. "I'm gonna show you exactly how much I love you. I'm gonna take good care of my girl."

"I'm your girl," Buffy whispered.

"Forever, Buffy," Faith whispered back. "Forever."

Faith kissed Buffy's hand again, picked up the shoe box, and walked out of the room.

Seventeen

TURNABOUT

"You keep staring at the Key," Xander said.

They were dressed again now, and sitting on the couch together. Xander was drinking beer. Empty bottles littered the floor in front of the couch. Willow leaned her head on his shoulder, and held his hand.

She wanted to be close to him.

She didn't want to lose him...

Xander hadn't heard her, when she'd whispered Buffy's name. Willow thanked the Goddess for that.

Now, she was trying to figure out what to do about it.

But, for some reason, she couldn't take her eyes off the Key.

"Yeah," Willow said.

"Why?"

"Don't know. How many beers have you had?

"A buzzable amount. But not a drunken amount. Five or six."

"You gonna just leave the empties on the floor here like this?"

"You're my old ball and chain. Shouldn't you be cleaning up after me?"

"That's what I love about you, sweetie," Willow said, and smiled, and kissed him. "How brave you are."

"Lemme see this Key thing, see what you're so damn interested in," Xander said, and picked up the Key from the coffee table. "You should be totally letting me feel you up and instead this rock's beating my time."

"You can feel me up. You can always feel me up. I'm, y'know, your girlfriend."

She looked up into his eyes.

"I love you, Xander," Willow said. "You...you know that right? That I love you?"

"Sure, cowgirl," he said, and smiled his goofy smile. "Fun to hear anyway. "For the record, I love you too."

She kissed him.

She held the kiss...she didn't want to let him go.

Eventually, he gently withdrew, giggling.

"I'm gonna need to recharge awhile longer if that's what you're after," he said. "You insatiable vixen."

"Better not keep me waiting too long," Willow said, and giggled too.

"Are you using me for my body?" Xander said. "That's perfectly okay with me, by the way. I was just wondering."

"I like you for more than your body," Willow said. "But the body's a nice little throw-in."

"Little?" he said, and grinned.

She smiled.

"Big," she said. "Humungous. I'm your cowgirl, right? Well, you're hung like a--"

Faith cleared her throat.

They looked up. Faith was leaning on the wall, grinning at them.

"Not interrupting anything, am I?" she said.

"Um...nope," Willow said, and blushed.

"We were just...uh...talking," Xander said.

"Such pervs," Faith said, shaking her head, as she walked to the couch.

To Faith, the couch smelled like sex, and lots of it. Faith sat down beside Willow. Willow smelled like sex, too. And lots of it.

"Um...so what's up?" Willow said.

Everyone Wants Willow, Faith thought, and smiled.

"Okay," Faith said. "Me and B talked stuff out. She let me have the pics."

"Really?" Willow said, her eyes widening. "That's...oh God, that's so awesome! Finally."

"G-Man take off?" Faith said.

"Yeah," Xander said. "He doesn't want to be here when Angel arrives. Says he'll be back tomorrow sometime."

"Okay. I'm holding onto the pics but I promised B I wouldn't throw them away," Faith said. "So look. B's in a bad place, you both know it. But I need you guys to not act all weird around her, okay? She needs to be strong, it's what keeps her going, it's who she is. You gotta keep letting her be strong for you guys. She's willing to let her guard down for me, but just me. So you guys can't be acting different around her, okay? She's still the leader. She's still in charge."

"I'll make sure I keep screwing stuff up," Xander said. "Make sure I get into jams she can get me out of."

"Cool," Faith said. "And don't think I forgot about your training, Xan Man. That's startin' up the second all this shit with those wolf vamps is over." She raised her eyebrow. "Assuming Will doesn't tire you out too much."

Willow giggled, and blushed again.

"When we start up the training Will can be my cardio workout," Xander said. "Ow," he added, as Willow did something to his leg.

"You two," Faith said, shaking her head. "I'm not sure I'm old enough to be hanging around with you guys. I'm like, young and impressionable."

"Maybe we can teach you some stuff," Willow said. "Don't even think it," she added, pointing at Xander. "Not Katie Holmes either."

"Don't worry hon, you're got me too tired out to think those evil thoughts right now," Xander said. "So Faith, while we have you here, there's something Will and I want to talk to you about. It's...about Buffy."

"Uh...sure, what's up?" Faith said.

"This isn't like, we're, y'know, goin' behind Buffy's back or anything," Willow said. "It's just we kinda wanna feel you out on this before Buffy brings it up. Because Buffy's gonna bring it up soon and it's probably better you hear it from us first and things don't get all...um...tense."

"You said you told me everything, Will," Faith said, sitting up and looking intently at her. "Something you left out?"

"No, nothing like that sweetie," Willow said, and patted her hand. Faith relaxed. "It's just, this situation, with the Key and the new vamps and the fact they attacked us right in the open in the Bronze like that...Buffy's gettin' all..."

"She wants our D.O.R.'s," Xander said. "She says there are gonna be tough decisions coming down and sure, she'll talk with us first but ultimately she's gonna be the one who decides."

"Uh-huh," Faith said.

"It's always sorta been this way," Willow said. "I mean, y'know, Buffy's all the Slayer and everything, we just try to help out a little here and there..."

"You guys do a lot more than just help out a little," Faith said.

"Thanks, but...anyway...y'know, Buffy's usually the one who sorta comes up with the plan?" Willow said. "Or at least, like, approves the plan if someone else came up with it and then she says okay, yeah, that's what we'll do. But now she's like, being all official about it."

"And this thing with the new vamps brought this on?" Faith said.

"No," Xander said. "She says that but this is really all about Angel." He shook his head. "Like every other frigging thing in our lives."

"Yeah, when she decided she's bringing Angel in to help she knew we wouldn't like it but she says it has to be done," Willow said. "And, y'know, she's right about that. But she says there are gonna be lots more hard decisions coming and she wants us all to, y'know, even if we disagree with her? To, um..."

"Fall in line," Xander said. "Look, I'd follow Buffy into hell, okay? She says we get input, she'll hear us out first before she moves, and that's all I need. But we wanted to be sure you wouldn't...take it the wrong way. Like you said, she's in a bad place. Will and I have known for a long time that Buffy's screwed up. So we figure the last thing she needs is to have to fight with you over this."

"How's this work with the G-Man?" Faith said. "You said B's always been like, kinda sorta in charge. What's G-Man think about that?"

"He doesn't love it but it's just how Buffy is," Willow said. "From the first day, like literally, when we all got together and went after our first vampires? Buffy was all like, 'okay, here's what we're gonna do'. Giles helped, and I helped, and Xander helped, and we all kinda brainstormed and came up with the plan together. But Buffy like, approved the plan. You could tell even then that she wasn't gonna do anything that she didn't agree with and if we couldn't all agree on a plan that she liked then she would just go out and do it all herself."

"G-Man sure is different from Becca," Faith said. "Buffy pulled that shit with Becca? Becca would laugh her ass off. Laugh her ass off. She'd think it's cute. For like a second."

"Yeah?" Xander said, and grinned. "Then what?"

Willow smiled.

"She'd kick Buffy's little butt," Faith said. "Okay, you guys don't have to worry, I got no problem with B bein' in charge."

"Really?" Willow said. "But...you're a Slayer too."

"Y'know, it's funny," Faith said. "Back before I became the Slayer, when I was just a potential? Becca told me stories about the Slayer...about all the Slayers who came before. And she told me about Buffy, and Kendra. And I got it in my head that the Slayer equaled Buffy. Like, all those other Slayers from before? Or Kendra, who was around at the same time as B? Yeah, I knew they were Slayers but for some reason whenever the word 'Slayer' went through my head I always thought about Buffy. The stories Becca told me? The stuff Buffy did? Buffy was..." Faith looked at them, and grinned. "And by the way, if either of you guys tell Buffy this I'm gonna kick your butts, just so you know."

"Our lips are sealed, sweetie," Willow said, and smiled a knowing smile.

"Buffy was always my hero," Faith said. "I always hoped that if I ever became the Slayer? I could be like, maybe half the Slayer she is. That's all I hoped for, all I wanted. To be maybe just half the Slayer...half the woman Buffy Summers is. I thought about her a lot. And now that I know her? Now that I love her? She's still my hero. She's my hero even more now."

"Changed my mind," Xander said, and giggled. "I'm telling her."

"You better not tell her," Faith said. "So gettin' that D.O.R."

"It's okay," Xander said. "Buffy's my hero too."

"Hey, honey," Faith said, and walked back into Buffy's bedroom, and shut the door behind her.

The room was dark. The curtains were drawn. Only the soft glow from the streetlamp outside, stealing in through a gap in the curtains, gave any light.

Buffy was lying naked on the bed.

"Wow," Faith said.

Buffy lay on her side, with her head propped up on her hand, and a modest little smile. Her other hand covered her breasts. She held her legs together.

"What?" Buffy said.

"You're beautiful, Buffy," Faith said.

She was the most beautiful thing Faith had ever seen. Faith wanted to kiss her feet. She wanted to worship her.

Buffy averted her eyes, and blushed.

"Yeah?" Buffy said.

"I'm a lesbian," Faith said. "I'm such a damn lesbian."

Faith undressed, in the dark. Buffy watched her, and scratched her toenails up and down the bedsheet.

A moment later, Faith stood naked in front of her.

"You're my lion," Buffy whispered.

"Thought I was your cub?" Faith said, and smiled, and sat beside Buffy on the bed.

"You're a grown-up cat now," Buffy said.

Faith nodded, and ran her fingers down Buffy's back, and over her legs.

"You gettin' shy on me, beautiful?" Faith whispered, and began to kiss Buffy, starting with her feet. She worked her way up. She took her time.

"No," Buffy said, and turned over onto her back, and let Faith see all of her, when Faith finally reached her lips.

Faith moved on top of her. Buffy hugged her, and brought her close, so their breasts were touching.

"You are such a damn lesbian," Buffy said, and smiled.

"Yeah? What about you?" Faith said.

"Me?" Buffy said. "I've decided I'm totally straight. In fact, I am totally..." Buffy kissed Faith, and played with her hair.

"...Grossed out..." Buffy whispered, and ran her tongue along Faith's neck, behind her ear, where Faith's scent was strong.

"...By this whole girl on girl thing," Buffy whispered, and moved her hands over Faith's ass, and caressed it.

"Yeah, I can tell you're real uncomfortable with it," Faith said. "I talked with Will and Xander."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"How you're all like sayin' you're in charge. Will and Xander wanted to just give me a heads-up before you told me, they wanted to make sure everything goes smooth between you and me."

"Is everything gonna go smooth?" Buffy said, and kissed her again.

"Sure."

"You're not gonna fight me on this?"

"Nope."

"Maybe you should fight me on this. Maybe you should be the one in charge."

"I got no problem with you bein' in charge, B."

"Why not? You've heard how I've screwed everything else up."

"What I've heard is how you try. How you don't give up. How you saved the world. How you died for your friends. No one better to lead than you. Long as I get to throw my two cents in I'm good. I'll follow you anywhere, beautiful."

They kissed.

"Why? Why am I...why should I be in charge?" Buffy said. "Maybe you should be. Maybe Willow should be."

"Look, if you don't wanna take point on this? I'll step up," Faith said, as Buffy pulled her closer. "I can do it. But I know you can do it too. You wanna hang back, let me take the weight? I will, honey. You just let me know what you wanna do. But if you wanna lead? I'll always follow you."

"Is it just because you love me?" Buffy said. "Are you gonna follow me just because I'm your girl?"

"No," Faith said. "Because you're Buffy Summers."

Buffy nodded, and looked up into Faith's eyes.

"I love you," Buffy said.

"I love you too, beautiful," Faith said.

Buffy ran her feet up and down the backs of Faith's thighs. Buffy's nipples were hard. Her pussy was wet, too; Faith could smell it.

"I want you to take me tonight, baby," Buffy whispered.

"I want to take care of you, honey," Faith whispered. "I wanna keep you warm. That's all I wanna do. I need to take care of my girl tonight."

The window was open a crack; the world smelled like a garden. A little breeze came into the room. It was cool, but not cold; it was just right. It kissed their skin, let them feel their blood flowing.

Buffy moved her hair aside, and turned her head, revealing the left side of her neck...and the old bite wound there.

Faith kissed it.

Faith felt Buffy's breath, warm on her cheek. She took in Buffy's scent. She could hear Buffy's heart now, beating fast; she could feel it, against her breasts.

"Make me bleed for you," Buffy whispered, and wrapped her legs around Faith, and caressed the backs of her thighs with her feet. "I wanna bleed for you, baby. I want you to take me."

They looked into each other's eyes.

"Make me bleed," Buffy whispered, and kissed her. She took hold of Faith's tongue with her lips, and sucked on it.

Faith felt Buffy's pussy, slick against her now.

"I just...want to take care of you," Faith whispered, and took Buffy's hand, and kissed it...and then kissed her wrist, where the wound was. "I want to make love to you tonight, honey. I want us to be soft, tonight. We can do that other stuff...another time, okay? Tonight, I just want to take care of my girl."

"You're a lion, baby," Buffy said, and caressed Faith's hair, and licked her neck. "But you've never shown me. I've never seen her. I want to see her. I want to see my lion tonight."

Buffy brought Faith's mouth back down to her neck.

"Buffy...not tonight," Faith whispered, and kissed the wound again. "Another night, okay, beautiful? I promise."

"Tonight," Buffy whispered, and yanked Faith's hair, hard. Faith gasped. "I need it tonight."

"Buffy..." Faith said, and gently pulled Buffy's hand from her hair. "I just...I don't want..."

"I've been...I've been bad, right?" Buffy said, and smiled. "I'm a bad girl, remember? You gotta...you gotta punish me."

"Buffy..." Faith said, and gently kissed her. "Honey...I don't..."

Buffy yanked Faith's hair again. Faith grunted, and showed Buffy her teeth for a second, this time.

"Hurt me," Buffy hissed.

"Buffy!" Faith shouted, and grabbed her hand. "What are you doing? Honey...what is this?"

Buffy kissed her. She tore into Faith's mouth, jamming her tongue down her throat. As the kiss ended, Buffy bit down on Faith's lip, and yanked her hair again, harder. Faith snarled, this time.

"I see her now," Buffy whispered. "I know she's in there."

"Stop it," Faith said. "Honey...please? Stop."

"Make me," Buffy hissed, and yanked Faith's hair again, as hard as she could without pulling it out of her head.

Faith screamed, but the scream turned into a roar...

Faith grabbed Buffy's hands, and roared in Buffy's face. She slammed Buffy's hands back to the bed, pinning them.

She roared in Buffy's face again, even louder, and showed her all her teeth, and looked down into her eyes...

Faith's brown eyes had a light in them now, that Buffy had never seen before. It was a golden light...Faith's eyes were two pinpoints of gold.

They penetrated Buffy...held her in place...froze her.

"There she is," Buffy whispered. "My lion. You're so beautiful, baby."

Faith growled at her.

Buffy turned her head...and offered Faith her neck.

Still growling, Faith moved her nose to Buffy's neck, where the wound was, and sniffed at it.

She ran her teeth across it.

Buffy's breathing sped up.

Faith took both of Buffy's hands in one of hers, and pinned them over Buffy's head. She looked down into Buffy's eyes again as she did it, and growled.

Buffy knew what the growl meant.

Faith grabbed Buffy's long, blonde hair in her other hand, looping it around her fist, like a rope. She held it tight, held Buffy in place.

"Take me," Buffy whispered. "Please, baby?"

Faith lunged for Buffy's neck, roaring again. Buffy gasped, and winced, and felt her heart beat faster.

Faith bit down on Buffy's neck...slowly, gently. Buffy wrapped her legs tight around Faith, and moaned.

Buffy whimpered, as Faith's teeth penetrated her like razors, and Faith began taking her blood, and swallowing it. Faith snarled, and held her in place.

Faith began thrusting into Buffy, ramming her body against her, grinding their pussies together. Buffy was drenched. Faith was wet now, too; Buffy smelled it, and she felt it. Faith's pussy was warm and slippery against her.

As Buffy felt her blood, steadily coursing out of her and entering Faith, a warmth suffused her; it was an enervating, numb feeling that spread through her body, and made her want to sleep. Faith's grip on her arms and her hair had softened now, as Buffy didn't struggle. Faith was still snarling, but Buffy thought there was a different quality to it, now. Buffy understood it...she understood what Faith was saying. The snarl had been angry before, when Buffy was fighting her. Now that Buffy had surrendered, and given herself to Faith, the snarl was different. The snarl said Buffy belonged to her. It said Faith would always take care of her, now that Buffy was hers...

Faith was moving faster now, as she rammed into her; Buffy spread her legs as wide as she could, and sped up her own motion to keep time as Faith fucked her. Faith moved up a little higher, and rubbed her pussy against Buffy's clit. Buffy began squealing. She knew she was going to come soon.

Buffy smelled Faith's musky peach scent all around her. The muscles in Faith's legs were hard as steel beneath Buffy's feet, but her skin was soft.

Faith was taking more blood than Buffy had taken. Buffy felt weak. She could feel all her energy, leaving her, entering Faith...

"Punish me," Buffy whispered, and started to cry. "Take it...take it all. Take it all, baby. I need to be punished."

Faith released Buffy's hair, and caressed it.

And Faith growled, a satisfied growl, as she took Buffy's blood, and fucked her...

Buffy came. It was a different kind of orgasm; it was a warmth, that filled her up, permeated her...and when Buffy was finally full, when that warmth had finally found every part of her, she felt a shudder move through her, slowly; like a blanket being pulled up over her, like a caress. She screamed, and thrashed around beneath Faith, but Faith held her still...

And kept taking her blood...

Buffy felt something else now...fear.

She was weak. And if Faith didn't stop...

Buffy knew she wouldn't be able to stop Faith, now.

If Faith didn't stop...

Buffy cried, and whimpered, and felt her heart beating so fast she thought it would explode out of her chest...

Buffy closed her eyes, held them shut tight, as Faith took her blood...as Buffy felt her life, flowing out of her...and her tears, flowing down her cheeks...

And she felt afraid...

And Faith stopped.

Buffy gasped, and opened her eyes. She tried to get her breathing back under control.

She felt Faith, licking her neck now, licking the wound.

Faith was still holding her hands, pinning her to the bed. Buffy realized her hands hurt, now. She hadn't noticed before. But Faith was caressing her hair.

They were quiet for a moment, as Faith licked the wound closed.

When Faith had finished, she moved away from Buffy's neck, and released Buffy's hands.

She knelt above Buffy's chest, and looked down at her.

Faith's mouth was covered with blood. Faith's eyes were golden. They stabbed down into Buffy...penetrated her...

When Buffy looked up at Faith, she saw a lion.

"You taste sweet," Faith said.

Faith's voice sounded different, now. It was softer, but more forceful at the same time; every word hung in the air and lingered. It touched a place deep inside Buffy, when she heard it; she felt herself respond to it instinctively, physically, as if her body was an instrument being played. She thrilled to it. Faith's voice was like a sudden, unexpected caress.

Faith's voice sounded like fire crackling. It sounded like stealthy footfalls in the tall grass.

"I love you," Buffy said, with tears on her cheeks. "I love you so much, Faith. I love you more than anything in the world, baby."

"Do you?" Faith said. "I guess tonight we'll see."

Faith smiled. She showed Buffy her teeth. Her teeth were stained red with Buffy's blood.

When Buffy looked up at that smile, a shudder went through her.

"What...what do you mean?" Buffy said.

Faith laughed.

"Buffy Summers," Faith said, still laughing. "The great Buffy Summers. My girl. You really do think the whole fucking world revolves around you, don't you? And y'know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe the whole world really does revolve around you, beautiful. Mine does, anyway."

Faith leaned in close to her, and looked straight down into her eyes.

Buffy was frozen...

Blood stained Faith's lips, and her chin, and her teeth. She smiled again. Faith's bloody smile was beautiful, and hideous. Buffy wanted to look away, but she couldn't...

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world," Faith said. "The most beautiful girl that's ever walked on God's fucking earth. And you know it, don't you? Yup, you know you're all that...you know you're the great Buffy Summers. Saved the world, a few times now, and did it with style. And, the rest of us? Me, Will, Xander, all of us? We're just part of your life's great play, aren't we? Just supporting actors, on your fucking stage. We're all just part of the epic story of Buffy Summers."

"That's...not..." Buffy started to say...

Faith held her finger to Buffy's lips.

"You talk too much, B," Faith said. "Always makin' with the speeches. Only one that gets to make speeches to me is Becca. You're not her."

Faith brushed her bloody lips against Buffy's.

"Taste, beautiful," Faith whispered. "Taste how sweet you are."

Faith kissed her. Buffy tasted her own blood. It was warm, and it had a sweet taste, and it was a little bit salty at the same time.

They kissed, until the blood was gone...they shared it, took it inside themselves.

"Lick me clean," Faith whispered.

Buffy licked all the blood from Faith's chin.

When Buffy was done, Faith straddled Buffy's chest again, and looked down at her, and smiled.

"So I'm your lion, huh?" Faith said.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "I love you. I don't...I don't think everything revolves around me."

Faith laughed again.

"Sure you do, girlfriend," Faith said. "And why shouldn't it? You're Buffy. You're beautiful, you're strong, you're smart...well...not that smart. Sometimes you can be a little clueless. Like, for instance? Now."

Faith grabbed Buffy's hair, and yanked it so hard Buffy screamed, and tears came to her eyes.

Faith smiled.

"You thought you could control this, huh beautiful?" Faith snarled. "The way you control everything else. Thought like, you could be in charge even when you were playin' at not bein' in charge. I mean, you know the world revolves around you, right? So then you figure, why should this be any different? I'm the great Buffy Summers! I'll be on top, even when I'm on the bottom."

Buffy shook her head.

"That's not how it is, baby," Buffy whimpered. "It's not--"

She screamed again, as Faith yanked her hair.

"I'm your lion, huh?" Faith snarled, as she looked down into Buffy's eyes, and held her still. "So I guess you figure I'm like...your pet lion. Your lion on a leash. That it? That what I am?"

Buffy shook her head, and tears filled her eyes.

Faith yanked her hair again. Buffy screamed.

"Fucking answer me," Faith said.

Buffy's scent changed...she was becoming afraid now. Faith could smell it on her...

Faith had what she wanted.

"No, baby...I love you, I love you!" Buffy whimpered, and started sobbing. "You're strong, and...and a lion and...so beautiful and...I love you."

Faith let Buffy's hair go, and caressed her cheek. She looked down into her eyes.

She kissed her, softly.

"I love you too," Faith said. "You're my girl, Buffy. You always will be. Okay, beautiful?"

"I'm your girl," Buffy said, and cried. "I'm your girl."

"You're my girl," Faith said, and held her. "You're my girl."

They stayed like that, for awhile. Faith kissed Buffy's tears, until they were gone.

Then Faith whispered something in her ear.

"But tonight, I'm gonna hurt you," Faith whispered. "Tonight, for the first time in your life? You're not gonna be in control."

Faith looked down into Buffy's eyes again. Faith's eyes still held Buffy, transfixed.

"I'm pissed at you," Faith said, and caressed Buffy's hair. "Been pissed at you for awhile. That doesn't change anything. It doesn't change how I love you. But there's a lot of stuff...stuff we gotta talk out, before Angel gets here. We're gonna play Confessions again. I know I love you more than anything in the world. But by the time we're done tonight? I'm gonna know how much you love me. I'm gonna fuckin' know, Buffy."

"I love you more than anything in the world," Buffy said. "More than anyone. You're all that's in my heart."

"Will's downstairs, Angel's comin' over tonight. Seems to me your heart's pretty crowded, B. You sure there's enough room in there for me?"

"It's all for you, baby," Buffy said, and reached out, to touch Faith's cheek. "My heart's all for you."

Faith took her hand, and held her arm, straight up in the air. She moved herself closer to Buffy's face, and smiled.

"I meant it when I said there's never been anyone as beautiful as you," Faith said, and took Buffy's other hand, and held it straight up, and smiled down at her. "But, looking at your pretty face now? I think it could use a little something. You wanna look perfect for when your boyfriend gets here, right?"

Faith was straddling Buffy's face now, kneeling directly above her lips.

"I think your face needs to be all sticky," Faith said. "I'm gonna grind my lil' kitty all over your face, and you're gonna make me come, so you can look pretty for when Angel gets here. Okay, honey?"

Buffy blushed, and nodded.

"When Mr. Hottie gets here he's gonna smell my kitty all over you," Faith said. "Isn't he, honey?"

"Yeah," Buffy whispered.

Faith held Buffy's arms up in the air over her head with one hand. She held her still.

She lowered herself to Buffy's lips, and began fucking her face. She held Buffy's arms like reins, and rode her like a horse.

Faith's pussy was slick and sticky on Buffy's lips, and her taste was strong and sweet. Buffy tried to keep up, as Faith rode her face faster and faster, nearly smothering her. Whenever Buffy had a hard time breathing Faith sat up a little, to allow her to catch her breath, but then a few seconds later her pussy would be right back in Buffy's face, grinding against her...

"Don't close your fucking eyes," Faith growled. "Look up at me while I'm fucking you."

Buffy opened her eyes and looked up at Faith, and ate her pussy as best she could, but Faith was riding her face so hard and so fast now that Buffy couldn't keep up with her...

"Get that fucking tongue up there," Faith growled. "I know you can do better than that."

Buffy stuck her tongue up Faith's pussy as far as it could go. Faith threw her head back, and moaned.

"Good girl," Faith murmured. "You're my good girl, huh honey?"

Buffy looked up at Faith, and nodded, and licked her pussy.

Faith rode Buffy's face, and looked down into her eyes. Buffy didn't look away. She couldn't...

"My kitty's greased lightning, honey," Faith said, and smiled, as she started riding Buffy even harder. "Go greased lightning, go." Faith giggled.

Buffy squirmed underneath her, trying to breathe. Faith's pussy was warm and wet, and its musky peach scent filled Buffy's nostrils. Faith's pussy scent, and her lion's smile, and her dark eyes, with their golden light...those were the only things that existed now; they were Buffy's whole world.

Faith began caressing Buffy's pussy with the index finger of her left hand. Buffy began to moan, the sweet sounds muffled beneath Faith's pussy.

"Shoulda shaved, huh honey?" Faith said, and giggled. "You're gonna get rug burn. From now on I'll keep it all smooth for you down there for when I ride your face. Okay, honey?"

Buffy moaned. She was arching her hips now, as Faith expertly stroked her pussy. Faith could make Buffy come with one finger; she'd done it before. Buffy thought she just did it to show off...

She was doing it now. She stroked Buffy's pussy, and her clit, using only her index finger, as she rode Buffy's face.

Buffy began scratching her toenails up and down the bedsheet, tearing it to shreds. She gasped and squealed and squirmed around beneath Faith's pussy, as Faith rode her...

"My girl's gonna come for me, huh?" Faith whispered.

Buffy nodded, and felt herself beginning to tremble, felt her body becoming hot, all over...felt her nerves tingling, her blood surging through her...

"You're gonna come because you just love my lil' kitty jammed in your face, huh?" Faith said, and smiled, showing Buffy her teeth.

Buffy nodded, and began screaming, as Faith rode her, and caressed her pussy...

"Come on honey," Faith whispered. "Be a good girl and come for me."

Buffy came; it felt like her whole body exploded. She shrieked, beneath Faith's pussy, and threw her arms forward and kicked her legs out. Faith held on, but she was nearly thrown.

Faith laughed, and bounced up and down on Buffy's face. Her pussy smacked into Buffy's mouth.

"Damn, pardner, I'm thinkin' this filly ain't broken in yet," Faith said, in her best stab at a Western accent. "Reckon we're gonna have to ride her 'round the barn a few more times, boys."

Faith rode Buffy harder, smothering her face with her pussy now...

"Go Greased Lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile," Faith sang, thrusting her hips forward and grinding her pussy against Buffy's face in perfect time to the song. "Greased lightning, go Greased Lightning..."

Faith giggled.

"With new pistons, plugs, and shocks I can get off my rocks...you know that I ain't braggin' she's a real pussy wagon, Greased lightning," Faith sang, and fucked Buffy's face to the words...

Faith's legs started shaking.

"Oh God, honey!" Faith suddenly squealed, and came. She screamed, and her legs shook. She rammed her quivering pussy against Buffy's face as her orgasm quaked through her, and she held it there; Buffy wasn't getting any air now. She squirmed beneath Faith's pussy, and Faith lifted herself up a little, so Buffy could take a breath.

Buffy's face was red, and sticky with Faith's pussy juice. She was breathing hard, dragging in air. So was Faith.

But when Buffy looked up into Faith's eyes, there was something different.

Faith always cried when she came...

This time, she didn't.

Faith looked down at Buffy, and giggled.

"You do know how to eat pussy, girlfriend," Faith said. "God damn that was good. I just loved dancing all over your pretty face, honey."

Faith leaned down, and kissed her. But she still held Buffy's arms in the air over her head.

"I'm gonna dance on your face again now, okay honey?" Faith said. "Are you gonna be a good girl and make me come again?"

"Yeah," Buffy said.

"You liked it, huh honey?" Faith said. "You liked me riding you."

Buffy blushed. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't...Faith's eyes held her...and Faith's voice caressed her...

"You can tell me, honey," Faith said, softly, and kissed her. "Know the answer anyway. Tell me the truth now, don't you lie to me. Because, lyin'? Girls who lie are bad girls. And bad girls get punished. You're gonna find out about that later. But right now, tell me. It got you off, me riding your face. Didn't it?"

Buffy nodded.

"Not just because you love my lil' kitty either," Faith said. "You liked being under me. You liked being held down. You liked not being in control."

"Yeah," Buffy whispered.

"That's good," Faith said, and smiled, and sat up, and lowered her pussy to Buffy's lips again. "Because I'm not done riding that pretty face. Now get that tongue back up there."

Buffy stuck her tongue up Faith's pussy again, as far as it could go, and started fucking her with it.

"Good girl," Faith murmured, and looked down at her, as she began to move her pussy up and down Buffy's lips. "Good girl."

Buffy nodded.

Faith was moving slower, this time; she was gentle. She didn't crush her pussy against Buffy's face. Buffy was able to keep up, and she had room to breathe. She kissed and licked Faith's pussy, and Faith gently rode her, looking down at her with golden eyes that never blinked, never wavered.

"I love you, Buffy," Faith said. "You're my girl."

"I love you too," Buffy said.

"Are you gonna be a good girl and make me come?" Faith said.

"I'm gonna be a good girl," Buffy whispered, and licked Faith's pussy, and luxuriated in Faith's scent.

"I'm gonna make you come too, okay beautiful?" Faith said, and held up her left index finger. "I always take care of my girl."

Buffy nodded, and then immediately started to moan, as Faith began caressing her pussy with her finger.

"That's my girl," Faith whispered, as she looked down into Buffy's eyes, and expertly stroked her pussy, and rode her face, moving slow. "That's my girl."

"Damn," Faith said, a little while later. "Didn't think anything could beat Greased Lightning. But your little pussy wagon came faster, honey."

"It's that frigging finger of yours," Buffy said, and giggled. "I want a rematch."

They laid on the bed together, and Faith held Buffy in her arms, and kissed her, all over her face.

"You don' have to kiss it off," Buffy whispered. "I don't mind. I don't mind...having your scent on me."

"And I don't mind kissing you, beautiful," Faith whispered, as she covered Buffy's face with soft kisses. "Besides, my pussy scent's practically all the way down into your pores now, the way I rode you. I want Angel to smell me on you, but I don't need Will and Xander smelling it. Uh, especially not Xander."

"Greased Lightning," Buffy said, and giggled. "Even when you're making me your bitch you're a goof. I love you, baby."

"I love you too," Faith said.

Faith looked down into Buffy's eyes again, and kissed her hand.

"And I want you to remember that, keep it right next to your heart tonight, okay?" Faith said. "Remember that I love you. Because tonight's gonna be rough, honey. We got a lot of stuff to sort out, you and me."

"How come...you didn't mention it before?" Buffy said. "That we have stuff to sort out? I thought...we sorted stuff out in the motel room yesterday."

"I was kinda holding some stuff in before. But I'm sick of holding stuff in. Plus, after all the stuff Will just told me...figure today's a good day just to clear the air, start fresh...see where we stand."

Buffy nodded.

"I'm pissed at you, Buffy," Faith said. "But that doesn't mean I don't love you. I still love you just as much as ever. I'll always love you, no matter what... but I'm pissed at you. And I don't like the feeling. So one way or another, we're gonna work this shit out tonight. Okay, beautiful?"

"Okay," Buffy said. "So you...really think that...I think the world revolves around me?"

"Yeah," Faith said. "I don't mean it in a bad way. I'm not saying you're like, full of yourself. Just...being the Slayer kinda screwed you up. I mean, you really are separate from everyone else. You save the world and you got responsibilities regular people can't imagine. Yeah, Will and Xander and Giles are right there with you but at the end of the day it's still really on your shoulders. You never liked it but you accepted it, got used to it eventually. And now it's just kinda who you are. You're Buffy and you save the world and you know it, you know you're really important. And you gotta think about life and death all the time, you gotta think like a general because you're in a war. You gotta lead all the time. It screwed you up. It changed you."

"Yeah," Buffy said. "I guess...I guess you're right."

Faith kissed her again.

"Worst part was, no one could understand," Faith said. "No one could understand how hard it was, being you. Will and Xander, you talk to them but they still can't really understand. You always felt alone. You were alone out there, like the sun in the sky, honey. So you thought everything revolved around you."

Buffy nodded. Faith looked into her eyes.

"But you know what, beautiful?" Faith said. "You're not alone anymore. Now you got me. And of all the people in the world? I'm the one who can understand. I know how it feels, that weight you got on your shoulders. I know how heavy it is. How if you screw up someone might die. I know what it's like to feel like you're a hunter, and the world is your jungle. Will and Xander and Giles, they don't see the world the way we do; they can't. They don't understand the world the way we do. You and I are clued in to the big secret but they aren't, they can't ever be. You and I know the world is divided up into predators and prey, and we're the predators. You and I know blood tastes sweet, and fear smells sweet. You and I know life is about strength and weakness, and blood and fucking, and love and hate. Nothing else matters worth a damn."

"I love you," Buffy said. "I love you, Faith."

"I love you too," Faith said. "We're meant to be, Buffy. The world brought us together because we're meant to be together. Yeah, we both have other people we've cared about? But no one else can ever love you the way I do. And no one else can ever love me the way you do."

"I'm gonna love you forever," Buffy said. "So...you said you were pissed at me before. How come?"

Faith grabbed Buffy by the hair, yanking it hard. Buffy whimpered, and tears came into her eyes again.

Faith yanked her hair again. Buffy screamed this time. Faith looked into Buffy's eyes, and brought Buffy to her lips, and kissed her, as tears rolled down Buffy's cheeks.

"Get down on your knees, and we'll discuss it," Faith said.

Buffy crawled off of the bed, as Faith held her hair like a leash. Faith sat on the edge of the bed, and Buffy knelt in front of her.

"You're a perceptive girl, how about you try to guess why I'm pissed at you," Faith said. "While you're kissing my feet."

Buffy took Faith's right foot in her hand, and kissed it.

"Look at me while you do it," Faith said.

Buffy looked up at Faith, and began covering her foot with kisses.

They were quiet for awhile, as Buffy kissed Faith's foot.

"Now the left," Faith said, eventually.

Buffy took Faith's left foot in her hand, and began kissing it, as Faith looked down into her eyes.

"So? Any guesses?" Faith said. "Why am I pissed at you?"

"Because...I was with Angel," Buffy said, and kissed Faith's foot. "Because it was...wrong. He lost his soul, and..."

"Nope. You didn't know that would happen. Wasn't your fault. Try again."

"Because...I lied. I lied about Angel...went to see him, without telling you. It was cheating. I cheated on you."

"Bingo. So you said you wanted me to hurt you, punish you. How come? Got something else you want to tell me?"

"Yeah. There's...one more thing."

Buffy started to cry.

"Hey," Faith said. "Come up here, honey. Come up here."

Faith took her in her arms, and kissed her, and held her tight.

"What did I say before?" Faith whispered. "Remember? That I love you. That you're my girl. That you always will be. Okay, honey?"

"Willow told you...how she has your memories," Buffy said.

"Yeah," Faith said.

"She...sometimes she gets confused, and...thinks she's you," Buffy said, and leaned her head against Faith's shoulder, as Faith stroked her hair. "And...last night...when she told me she got your memories...we were talking in the kitchen about it, and...she got confused. She...thought she was in love with me, the way you are. She...she wanted me. In bed."

"I know. She told me she...was like, having fantasies about you."

"What she didn't tell you...was that I kissed her."

Faith stopped stroking Buffy's hair.

"No," Faith said. "She didn't tell me that."

"She wanted to tell you," Buffy said. "But I told her I had to be the one to tell you."

"Is it because...you love her more than me?" Faith whispered. "Is that...is that why you kissed her?"

Buffy looked Faith in the eyes.

"No," Buffy said. "I loved her first. And I still love her. But I love you more. You're the one I want to spend my life with."

Faith nodded...

But she wasn't sure she believed her.

"Then why...did you kiss her?" Faith said.

Buffy moved away from Faith, and sat beside her on the bed.

Faith kept her arm around her.

"She was...confused," Buffy said. "She wanted me, the way you do. I knew it was gonna be a problem...a constant problem. I thought...I needed to scare her. I needed to show her that this wasn't her. And I needed to show her that she could hurt us, hurt all of us, if she didn't stop...if she didn't find herself again."

"So you...kissed her?" Faith said.

"I carried her into the living room. I got undressed, and I told her to get undressed too. Then I laid down on the couch with her, and hugged her, and talked to her."

Faith was quiet. She watched Buffy, as Buffy stared at the wall.

"I needed to scare her," Buffy said. "To do that...I had to offer it to her. I couldn't fake it, couldn't pretend. It had to be real. I needed to make her understand that she could destroy everything...her and Xander, you and me...so I told her I'd make love to her, if she wanted me to."

Faith felt the cold thing inside her, again.

Her arm was still around Buffy.

Faith held on to her.

She held on by her fingernails...

"But I told her I wouldn't lie about it," Buffy said. "That I'd tell you, and you'd...you'd leave me. And if she didn't tell Xander, I said I'd tell him, and he would leave her. I asked her if that's what she wanted, for me to cheat on you, and for her to cheat on Xander. I asked her to decide what she wanted...who she loved. I told her all our lives were in her hands. And they were. Last night, they were."

"And...what happened?" Faith whispered.

"Will found her way back," Buffy said. "When I asked who she loved... she said Xander. And she found her way back to herself. The kiss...it was...a way for her to sort of let it all go...to let me go. It was just one kiss...a goodbye kiss."

"And that's all that happened?" Faith said.

"Yeah. Are you gonna leave me now?"

"No."

"Maybe you should. Maybe you should...leave me for..."

Buffy looked down at her hands.

"Willow told me about Tara," Buffy said. "She sounds nice. Sounds like... someone who wouldn't lie to you, or kiss other girls."

"I'm not leaving you for Tara," Faith said. "I care about her. But you're my girl, not her."

"Why?" Buffy whispered.

Faith turned Buffy toward her, so she could see her face.

Faith held out her arms.

Buffy fell into them.

"Because that's how it is," Faith said, and held her tight. "How it's meant to be. Might as well ask why the sun comes up in the morning."

"I love you," Buffy whispered, and started to cry. "I love you."

"I love you too," Faith said.

Faith raised Buffy's head, and looked at her.

Her eyes were still two golden points of light. They still held Buffy, transfixed.

Faith kissed Buffy's tears away.

The room, the whole world, was silent. There was no one else in the world, anymore...Willow, Tara, Angel, they didn't exist. The world, for this moment, was just for them.

They knew the moment wouldn't last forever. They lived it, every second.

Faith kissed Buffy's tears, and took her hands, and kissed the wounds on her wrists. Buffy curled up against Faith's breasts, and held onto her as tight as she could. Faith was warm. Buffy had never felt so warm, before.

They were quiet. They took in each other's scents, and listened to each other breathe...felt each other's hearts beating. Talking didn't seem right, somehow. There weren't any words, for that moment. Words would have changed it, made it less than it was; by defining the moment, by naming it, the words would have stolen its magic away. It was just for them.

They stayed that way, for a long time. Faith held Buffy in her arms, and kissed her. Buffy curled up against Faith's breasts, and Faith rocked her.

Eventually, Faith spoke.

"Wouldn't have left even if something did happen with Will," Faith said. "Long as you don't lie to me, I'm staying. I'm staying as long as you'll have me."

"Okay," Buffy said. "So I guess we're gonna be together forever."

"We'll see," Faith said. "I kissed Tara last week."

"You...kissed her? Last week?" Buffy said.

"The night you offered to let me stay, and I said no, and we fought? I met Tara that night, and stayed over her house. On the couch. I kissed her the next morning. I thought...you didn't love me. Thought you loved Will, and maybe Angel too. Didn't think there was room for me."

"I'm only for you, Faith. I belong to you. No one else, baby."

"Tara didn't make the first move. She wasn't like, tryin' to scoop me up. I started it. I wanted it...and if Tara had said yes when I wanted more... maybe you and me wouldn't be here right now. But Tara cares about me. She wants good stuff for me. I told her everything. About Becca, and you, and Will and Xander and Giles...about how I'm a Slayer, everything. And she made me promise to try to get it together with you guys one more time first, because she could tell I love you. So...I tried to stop being...so in my own head all the time. I hung out with Will last week, and it was good. And then came the night with the wolf vamps... and me and you in my motel the next day...and you know the rest."

"Tara sounds awesome. I had Will try to bring her here for the party, but she wasn't home."

"Don't want her here right now. With these new vamps, we've got a target on our backs. She hangs with us right now, she could get hurt. Will and Xander and Giles know the score, but Tara doesn't. I don't want her hurt."

"So how did you meet Tara, anyway?"

Faith looked at Buffy, and Buffy looked back...

"I met her when I tried to kill myself," Faith said.

Buffy froze. The color drained from her face. Her hands began to shake.

"What?" Buffy whispered.

Faith took her hands in hers.

"The night we fought...when I wouldn't stay at your place, and you told me maybe I should go back to Boston," Faith said. "I thought...you didn't love me. I thought we were done. I went up to the top of the lighthouse on Kingman's Bluff. I was gonna jump."

"No, baby," Buffy whispered, and started to cry again. Faith hugged her.

"Tara was there," Faith said. "She saved me...talked me down. Actually she just kinda grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. Girl's got a strong grip. She took me back to her place and we hung out, played video games, smoked a few joints. She cooked for me. I slept on the couch. I hung out with her most of last week."

"Oh God, baby..." Buffy said, as she cried. "Oh, God...what did I do? What did I do?! What did I DO?! To ALL of you?!"

"You tell me," Faith said, and let go of her, and stood up, and walked to the window. "What do you think you did?"

Faith looked out the window, as Buffy sat on the bed behind her, and cried.

"Oh God, oh no, oh no..." Buffy said, holding her head in her hands, and shaking it back and forth.

"How about I get the ball rollin' for you, like, give you a recap of recent events," Faith said. "Then you can decide what you did. So. Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer..."

Faith turned, and looked at her.

"You dated a vampire," Faith said. "Sure, you didn't know he'd go bad, but you sure knew he used to be bad. You knew he killed thousands of people. You knew he raped girls. Didn't stop you from riding his knob though."

Buffy wasn't looking at her. She was looking down at the floor, and holding her head in her hands, and shaking.

"And you showed your boyfriend such a good time that he lost his soul," Faith said. "Ooops. Angelus killed those eighteen little girls. He killed Giles' lady. Did it real sick, too. Then he kidnapped Will, made her remember being raped every day and living in a fucking closet. Will has to live with that now, but not just Will. Xander has to live with it too. Even worse, Xander doesn't know it all, he only thinks Angelus said stuff to Will, he doesn't know Angelus made Dru give her those memories. And we can't ever tell Xander about it because if we do we lose him and Will. So now we all have to fucking lie to Xander like, forever. To top it all off, once Angel got back from the hell dimension, you went behind my back to be with him. And I almost killed myself over it. All caught up now?"

Faith leaned against the wall by the window, and watched Buffy cry.

Faith wanted to go to her, and hold her. She didn't let herself.

"So we're back to the question," Faith said. "What did you do to us? Look at me."

Buffy looked down at the floor, her shoulders heaving as she cried.

"Look at me," Faith said.

Buffy looked up at her...

Faith's eyes held her.

"What did you do to us?" Faith said.

"I almost got you all killed," Buffy said. "I hurt you all. I betrayed you all. Jenny's dead, and Will...she...was raped and...you..."

"That why you wanted me to punish you tonight?" Faith said. "That why you think you're bad?"

Buffy nodded.

Faith walked back to Buffy, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Get over my knee," Faith said.

Buffy looked up at her, uncomprehending.

"What?" Buffy said.

"Do I fucking stutter?" Faith said. "Do it."

Buffy blushed. She hesitated.

Then she wiped her tears away, and slowly laid herself across Faith's knees. Faith held Buffy's hands behind her back.

Faith spanked her ass, hard. The smack reverberated through the room; it sounded like a firecracker. Buffy gasped.

"You want to be punished?" Faith said. "I'll fucking punish you."

Smack! Faith spanked Buffy's ass again, harder. Buffy whimpered, this time. Tears fell down her cheeks again.

"Hear that?" Faith said. "Damn, B, the sound of your pretty little ass being spanked sure does carry, huh? They're gonna hear this all the way downstairs."

Smack! Faith spanked Buffy's ass again. Buffy grit her teeth, and whimpered through them.

"Willow and Xander can hear," Faith said. "Wonder what they're thinking?"

Smack!

Buffy's ass was red now; Faith wasn't going easy on her. Faith caressed Buffy's ass, and noticed that Buffy's pussy was wet.

"You want me to call Will up here?" Faith said.

Smack!

"Answer me," Faith said.

"No," Buffy whispered.

Smack! Buffy screamed, and shuddered, as Faith's hand came down on her ass like a hammer.

"I think you do," Faith said. "I think you want Will to see you like this. I think maybe I'll call her in here. I mean, you like being naked with her, right?"

Buffy shook her head. Her breathing came in quick shallow gasps. She quivered, as Faith caressed her ass, and she waited for the hammer to fall again.

"I don't...I just...wanna be with you, baby," Buffy said, her voice shaky.

"Got a funny way of showing it," Faith said.

Smack! Buffy winced, and held her eyes shut tight, and grit her teeth.

"First you go on a couple of dates with Angel, then you're gettin' naked with Will," Faith said. "Shit, if that's wantin' to be with me, I wonder how the hell you'd act if you didn't want to be with me? What, would you go out and shoot a fucking porno?"

Buffy was crying now.

"I didn't...with Will...I just wanted to..." Buffy started to say.

Smack! Buffy screamed.

"Sure, you wanted to scare her straight," Faith said. "Kinda literally, right? But you wanted to be naked with her too, didn't you?"

Smack! SMACK! Buffy screamed again, as Faith spanked her ass twice in succession, once for each cheek, even harder than she had before.

"Don't you fucking lie to me," Faith said. "You wanted to be naked with her, didn't you? Yeah, you didn't want to cheat on me, but being able to get naked with Will while telling yourself it was all about helping her...that was just too good an opportunity to pass up, right?"

Smack! SMACK!

Buffy screamed again.

"Think you better answer me before your ass falls off," Faith said. "You're lookin' like a tomato now."

"I...I...liked it but...I don't...it won't...ever happen again, baby," Buffy whimpered. "Not ever again."

"Damn skippy it fucking won't," Faith snarled, and yanked Buffy's hair.

"I'm sorry...! I'm sorry, baby...!" Buffy whimpered.

"Been sayin' that a lot," Faith said. "Way I figure it, words don't count for shit. What matters is how we act."

Faith noticed Buffy's pussy was so wet it was dripping down her leg now. She caressed Buffy's ass, as Buffy shook, and cried. Buffy flinched, when Faith's hand touched her ass; she was wondering when the hammer would fall again.

"We can say we love each other," Faith said. "And it's nice. But it doesn't count for shit, Buffy. What counts is proving it."

Buffy nodded.

"And you did," Faith said, and kissed her cheek. "You've been proving you love me for awhile now. I was just too wrapped up in myself to see."

"I...did?" Buffy whispered, her lips trembling. "I...proved it?"

"You never gave up on me," Faith said. "Even when I was all stubborn, and I gave you every reason to. You brought me food, because you loved me... because you couldn't handle thinking about me being hungry. You kept me warm, when I was cold. The night I didn't want to stay here with you, and you got fed up with how I was always blowing you guys off, and you told me maybe I should go back to Boston, the next day you snuck into my motel room and brought me more food anyway. You always take care of me."

"Because I love you baby," Buffy whispered. "I just...want to be with you. I don't want anyone else. I'll always take care of you."

"I know," Faith said. "I know, honey. Now, back to the question. What did you do to us? Wanna know the answer?"

"I already know," Buffy said.

"No, you don't. The answer is, you didn't do anything to us," Faith said. "Angelus did stuff to Will and Giles and Xander. He did stuff to you. Yeah, you went behind my back seeing Angel, but I'm the one who gave up on me that night when I wanted to kill myself, not you."

Faith turned Buffy over in her lap, and kissed her. She lifted her up in her arms, and laid her on the bed, and laid down next to her.

She held Buffy close, and kissed her tears away.

"You're my girl," Faith said. "I say it a lot. But I'll always prove it, too. I'll never leave you, Buffy. As long as you don't lie to me? I won't ever leave you. I'll stay as long as you'll have me. Okay, beautiful?"

"Okay," Buffy whispered, and curled up against Faith's breasts.

"No matter what you do, no matter what happens, you can tell me," Faith said. "You won't lose me. Yeah, maybe I'll get pissed. But you won't lose me. But we have to be honest with each other, Buffy. You can tell me you love me more than you love Willow, and I believe you. But you have to prove it, too."

"I will," Buffy said, and kissed Faith's breasts. "I'm gonna prove it for the rest of my life. I'm your girl. No one else's."

Faith lifted Buffy's chin, and looked into her eyes.

"Yeah, beautiful," Faith said. "You are."

They kissed.

"Your bum's all red, honey," Faith whispered. "How'd it get all red?"

"Because you spanked it," Buffy said, and smiled.

Smack! Faith leaned over and spanked Buffy's ass again. Buffy whimpered, and tears filled her eyes.

Faith kissed her.

"How'd it get all red?" Faith whispered.

"Because...because I lied," Buffy said.

"Don't do it again," Faith said.

"I won't baby," Buffy said. "I won't, I won't ever."

Faith caressed Buffy's ass. Buffy winced.

"Hurts?" Faith said.

"Yeah," Buffy said. "Stings."

"Wait here," Faith said.

She went to the bureau, pulled out a nightgown, threw it on, and walked out of the room.

She came back a moment later with a bottle.

"Noticed this in your medicine cabinet before," Faith said, and took her nightgown back off. "Says it's good for sore skin."

Faith laid down next to Buffy again, turned her over onto her stomach, and curled up beside her. She kissed Buffy's neck, and squeezed some of the ointment from the bottle into her hand, and began gently massaging it over Buffy's butt.

"How's this, honey?" Faith whispered.

The ointment felt cool on Buffy's skin; it felt good. Buffy liked the way it smelled, too; it smelled like aloe.

"It feels good," Buffy said.

Faith massaged the ointment over Buffy's butt, and kissed her neck.

They were quiet.

Buffy's pussy was still wet; Faith could smell it.

"You liked it, huh?" Faith said. "You liked being spanked. Your pretty little pussy's all wet, honey."

Buffy blushed.

"It's okay," Faith said.

"You must think I'm like...a freak," Buffy whispered.

Faith kissed her cheek.

"No," Faith said. "You're my girl. It's all you are. You're not anything else. Okay, beautiful?"

Buffy nodded. Faith squeezed more of the ointment into her hand, and massaged it into Buffy's butt.

"It's not so red now," Faith said.

"It's not stinging anymore," Buffy said.

"From now on?" Faith said. "I'm gonna spank your bum when you're a bad girl. Okay, honey?"

"Okay," Buffy said, and smiled...and blushed again. She hid her face in the pillow.

Faith kissed her cheek, and turned her onto her side, so she could see her face. She looked down into her eyes.

"I know you liked it," Faith said. "So we'll do it sometimes. But if you ever lie to me again? Then I'll spank you so you don't like it. You understand?"

Buffy nodded.

"Wanna know why I'm pissed at you?" Faith said.

Buffy nodded.

"Because you were reckless...you were careless...with us," Faith said. "Our thing? It's beautiful, and it's stronger than anything in the world. But at the beginning, it was real fragile, honey. And you were careless with it."

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered. "I won't...I won't ever do anything like that again."

"Already forgave you in the motel room yesterday. But I was still pissed. You thought you could like, juggle me and Angel, but you almost dropped you and me, honey. You and me, we almost smashed to pieces. Those lies, they had me thinking our thing didn't matter to you."

"It matters," Buffy whispered, and looked up at Faith, with tears in her eyes. "It matters more than anything else, baby. More than anything else."

Faith hugged her.

"Okay," Faith said. "I'm not pissed anymore. Okay, honey? Clean slate."

"No clean slate," Buffy said. "What I did was wrong, and I can't pretend it didn't happen. I can't...can't pretend..."

Buffy's face crumpled up; she burst into tears.

"You almost...you almost died, baby," Buffy whispered, and cried. "My baby almost died. My baby almost died because of me."

Faith hugged her, and held her tight.

"Because I love you," Faith whispered. "I'd die for you, Buffy Summers."

"I'd die for you, Faith Lehane," Buffy whispered.

"We got that part down. Now let's concentrate on living for each other, okay, honey?" Faith said.

"Yeah," Buffy said.

Faith held Buffy in her arms for awhile, and whispered things in her ear. She whispered that she'd always love her. That she'd never leave her...that she'd always protect her. Buffy nodded, and rested her head against Faith's breasts.

"Kinda gettin' horny again, beautiful," Faith said, after awhile. "I need you again, one more time before he gets here."

"Go greased lightning, go?" Buffy said, and giggled.

"Nah," Faith said, and got up. "This time you're the one who's gonna be takin' a ride."

Faith moved to the bureau, and pulled the dildo out of the bottom drawer, and put it on. She sat on the edge of the bed.

"Get on your knees for me, beautiful," Faith said.

Buffy knelt down in front of her.

"Ever give a blowjob before?" Faith said.

Buffy shook her head.

"Not with Angel?" Faith said.

"We were only together like that for one day," Buffy said. "We...had sex, but...I didn't do that."

"Did you come for him?"

Buffy blushed. "Yeah," she said.

"I'm sorry," Faith said. "That was...petty. I had no right to ask that."

"It's okay," Buffy said, and smiled. "I'm your girl. So you get to ask about anything you want."

"It's just...I get jealous," Faith said. "Jealous when I think of you with anyone else."

"Because I belong to you. And I'll never be with anyone else again," Buffy said, and kissed the dildo. "Not ever again, baby."

Buffy took the dildo in her mouth, and awkwardly started sucking it. She looked up into Faith's eyes while she did it.

After about a minute, Faith smiled.

Buffy took the dildo out of her mouth.

"What?" Buffy said.

"Nothing," Faith said, her smile growing wider.

"Um...I give a bad blowjob, don't I?" Buffy said, and grinned. "I like, totally suck at sucking."

"Your technique, uh, leaves a little something to be desired," Faith said. "If I was a guy I'd be all sad right now. Plus I'd probably be like, 'Ow'."

They giggled.

"But I'm not a guy," Faith said, and kissed her. "And my girl? She takes care of my lil' kitty just right."

"I wanna take care of it now," Buffy whispered. "I wanna kiss your pussy again, baby. Do you wanna be on top of me again? We can do it that way if you want. We can do it that way all the time if you want."

"You don't like having a dick in your mouth, huh?"

"I don't hate it, but...I don't know. It doesn't really do anything for me."

"You're my gay girl, huh, honey?" Faith whispered, and kissed Buffy, and began sucking on her tongue.

Buffy nodded.

They kissed, and Faith sucked on Buffy's tongue...

Buffy started to take the dildo off Faith, but Faith stopped her.

"I'm gonna be petty again," Faith said. "You didn't blow him, but you had his dick in you, and you liked it. So you're gonna have my dick in you tonight."

"Okay," Buffy said.

Faith lifted Buffy up in her arms, and laid her on the bed.

Faith laid on top of her.

Buffy was nervous; Faith smelled it on her.

At first, Faith didn't know why...

Then she understood.

"Listen, honey," Faith said, and kissed her. "I know you're nervous. I know you're nervous that like, maybe you won't come for me, when we do this. But it's okay. I know you wanna come for me, and you do come for me honey, you come when I kiss you there, or when my finger's there. So if you can't come when I fuck you this way, it's okay. But don't you try to fake it. Faking it is just a kind of lie. If you try to fake it I'll spank your bum. You understand?"

"Yeah," Buffy said, and smiled. "I'm definitely gonna fake it now."

They giggled.

Buffy opened her legs, and Faith positioned herself against Buffy's pussy lips. They were wet.

Buffy put her arms around Faith, and moaned.

"Ready, beautiful?" Faith said.

"I love you," Buffy said. "I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too," Faith said, and thrust her hips forward.

Buffy was wet, but she was tight; it took awhile. Faith fucked her slowly at first, only using the tip of the dildo.

"Is it okay, honey?" Faith said.

Buffy nodded. "I love you," she said.

"I love you too," Faith said.

Faith kissed Buffy's neck, and held her in her arms, and went slow. Buffy breathed, faster now, in Faith's ear, and ran her hands down Faith's back, and caressed her ass.

Buffy's pussy was gradually adjusting to the thickness of the dildo; Faith was able to move another inch into her. Buffy moaned, and moved her legs back, toward her chest. Faith leaned into her, and took Buffy's legs over her shoulders, and knelt on the bed as she fucked her. She was able to get the dildo in halfway now, and Buffy's moans came faster.

Buffy was scrunched up into a little ball, now, and Faith was able to concentrate on moving against her clit. Buffy held onto Faith's ass as Faith fucked her, and her moans were soft and steady.

Faith looked down into Buffy's eyes, and smiled.

"Flexible," Faith said.

Buffy giggled.

"Now's the part where you're gonna come for me honey," Faith said.

"It...it is?" Buffy said. She looked nervous.

Faith smiled, and held up her right index finger.

"Suck," she said, and touched it to Buffy's lips. "No teeth, please."

Buffy sucked on Faith's finger, as Faith fucked her.

"Get it nice and wet, okay beautiful?" Faith whispered. She thrust herself the rest of the way into Buffy now. Buffy closed her eyes, and moaned.

"Good girl," Faith said, and took her finger out of Buffy's mouth. At the same time, she gently pulled out of her.

"What are you doing?" Buffy said.

"Guess," Faith said, and turned Buffy over onto her stomach.

Buffy got up onto her knees, bent over, and stuck her ass up in the air. Faith entered her from behind. The dildo went right in this time. Buffy's moans got louder.

Faith was pretty sure she could make Buffy come this way, but there was something she wanted to try. She wanted to test a theory.

She caressed Buffy's ass with her index finger, moving it gently back and forth across the tiny opening. The opening was very small, about the size of a penny. It looked like a little pink star.

Buffy gasped. A shudder went through her.

Faith held her finger against the opening, and exerted a steady pressure.

"Baby..." Buffy whispered, and rammed her ass back hard against the dildo, and against Faith's finger. Faith wasn't moving now, wasn't using her hips at all; Buffy was doing the fucking for both of them.

Faith slipped the tip of her long finger into Buffy's ass. Buffy's moans became screams, and she fucked the dildo, and Faith's finger, even harder.

"You like this, honey?" Faith said.

"Yeah...yeah..." Buffy gasped.

Faith slipped her finger the rest of the way up Buffy's ass. Her finger was wet from Buffy's mouth, and it went in easily enough; but Faith still went slow, to be sure not to hurt her. Buffy screamed anyway, but Faith knew it wasn't because she was in pain.

Faith gently pulled the dildo out of Buffy's pussy, and fucked Buffy's ass with her finger instead. She held her finger straight out in front of her, and Buffy backed up into it, screaming with every thrust.

"Good girl," Faith said, and began caressing Buffy's clit with her other hand. "That's a good girl. Fuck my finger now. Fuck it like a good girl, and I'll make you come, okay, honey?"

"Okay," Buffy whimpered. "I'll...I'll be good. I'll be a good girl..."

Buffy came less than a minute later, shrieking at the top of her lungs and arching her back like a cat, and digging her fingernails and toenails into the bedsheet, slashing it to ribbons.

"Uh...here's hoping Will and Xander don't run up here to see what the screaming's about," Faith said, as she gently slid her finger out of Buffy, and took the dildo off. "Sort of a compromising position here."

"I think Will...um...understands about how we get," Buffy said, as she caught her breath. "That was...um...I never...did that before."

"Yeah, me neither. But you sure looked like you were having a good time though. Makes me wonder what I've been missing."

Buffy collapsed on her stomach on the bed. Faith laid down beside her, and hugged her.

"That was...um..." Buffy said.

"Sure was," Faith said.

"I was planning on doing that for you next time we sixty-nined and you totally ruined my surprise," Buffy said, and blushed a little.

"You can still do it sometime," Faith said.

"Am I a pervert?"

"One of us probably is."

Buffy kissed her.

"Wherever you went to buy the dildo," Faith whispered, and caressed Buffy's hair. "Do you wanna go there and buy another one...maybe a smaller, thinner one? And then if you're a good girl I can take care of you with it sometimes? You wanna do that, honey? Would my girl like that?"

"If I answer yes does that make me like...a freak?" Buffy whispered.

Faith shook her head.

"You're my girl," Faith whispered. "It's the only thing you are."

"Okay," Buffy said. "We can...buy another one. There's this pervo store a few blocks from The Magic Box."

"We'll pick it out together, okay, honey?" Faith said. "And whenever you wanna be a good girl for me I'll take care of you with it, nice and slow, okay?"

Buffy nodded. "Not like, all the time? But...sometimes," she said. "In my old Sex Ed book it said that if you do that like every day it can lead to health problems. So maybe like...once or twice a month."

"Okay, beautiful," Faith said.

"I love you, baby," Buffy said.

"I love you too," Faith said.

"Do other lesbians do it? Or are we like, the weirdos of the universe?"

"I'm not really up on like, other gay gals and what they do when they're feelin' frisky? But I bet if they had girlfriends with pretty little asses like yours they'd wanna do it every damn day. Anyway...Angel's gonna be here soon, we better get dressed."

Faith started to get up. Buffy pulled her back down to the bed.

"What about my rematch, baby?" Buffy said, and smiled. She put her hands around Faith's hips, and lifted Faith up so she was kneeling over her chest. "I wanna race Greased Lightning again."

"Want me to take you for a ride, huh, honey?" Faith said, and raised her eyebrow.

Buffy giggled, and nodded. She pulled Faith toward her face, until Faith was kneeling over her lips.

"What if Angel gets here while, uh, the race is still in progress?" Faith said, as Buffy raised her arms up over her head, and Faith took her wrists in her hand, and pinned her.

"He can wait on the porch until we're done," Buffy said. "I need to lick my baby's pussy again."

"Think I should give you a head start?" Faith said, and held up her left index finger, and raised her eyebrow again. "This finger's rocket fuel for your lil' pussy wagon, honey."

Buffy giggled. "No, I want it to be a fair competition," she said. "I think Greased Lightning's gonna be a lot faster this time when it comes across the finish line." She craned her neck up, and stuck her tongue out, and gave Faith's pussy a little lick. "This tongue? Rocket fuel."

"Them's fightin' words, pardner," Faith said. "I think you need to be rode around the barn a few more times."

"I do, baby," Buffy whispered, and opened her legs. "Saddle me up."

Faith lowered herself toward Buffy's lips.

Buffy looked up at Faith's pussy, and took in her musky peach scent. She felt her blood race.

"I figured out which one of us is the pervert," Buffy whispered, and kissed her there.

An hour later, the doorbell rang.

Buffy, Faith, Willow and Xander were in the living room, waiting for it. Buffy and Faith had known Angel was coming when he was two blocks away.

They all stood up. Faith stood very close to Buffy. Faith had her red leather coat on. And her stake in her hand.

Buffy opened the door. Angel was standing on the step, in the darkness.

He wore a long black coat that moved in the breeze like wings. He carried a large leather duffel bag over his shoulder. He held some sort of rectangular carrying case that looked like it was made out of plywood in one hand, and a book in the other: The Scarlet Letter. He looked better; his nose didn't look broken anymore. But the deep gash Buffy had made when she'd scratched his face was still there.

"Angel," Buffy said.

"Buffy," Angel said.

He didn't look at Faith, or Willow, or Xander. He looked at Buffy.

"You're still reading that book," Buffy said. Her arms were folded across her chest and she stood stiff and straight as a board.

But she shivered, a little. The breeze had grown cold.

Angel didn't shiver.

His scent came to Buffy. Rotten meat...but there was something else.

It was jasmine.

Buffy focused in on it. The jasmine smell was coming from his hands. He had been picking jasmine flowers before he arrived.

"Yeah," Angel said. His eyes caught the glare from the porch light, and reflected it back at her, cold and silver. He was a night thing. Those dark eyes never showed the sun. They were never warm, never reflected golden. They were always cold. They always reflected silver. Buffy remembered Faith's golden eyes, when the lion in her had come out.

"Is it like a hundred years old and you bought it for twenty cents in like Transylvania and you've been lugging it around forever since then even though it's all beat up because you're too cheap to just buy the paperback?" Buffy said.

"You have to invite me in," Angel said.

"I know," Buffy said.

"Bought it for a shilling in Liverpool in 1901. I've never been to Transylvania. Been to Borsa though. It's near Transylvania."

"What's a shilling?"

"British currency. Used to be a twentieth of a pound. Probably comes out to about twenty cents today."

Buffy nodded. "Is Borsa nice?" she said.

"No," Angel said. "It's all mountains and churches and gypsies."

"You're too cheap to buy the paperback, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he said, and his mouth moved; he nearly smiled. "I am."

"Knew it."

His eyes hadn't left hers for a second. He hadn't blinked. She hadn't either. But she could never outstare him and they both knew it.

He looked away. Out of politeness, Buffy knew. She took the opportunity to blink.

"What's in the weird crate thing?" Buffy said.

"Something for Willow," Angel said.

"For Willow?"

"Yeah."

Buffy nodded. They looked at each other.

"You brought food," Buffy said. "I can smell it in the bag."

"Pig's blood," he said. "Enough for a week. Brought some weapons too."

"Need anything else?"

"Place to sleep. Couch will do."

"Couch is what I had in mind."

"I know."

She looked away from him, and knew they were over...that they could never go back, now. That she would never be his, and he would never be hers... she admitted it to herself. Accepted it.

She felt cold. Her legs felt weak. She felt like she was in a whirlpool...like she was spinning in every direction, and being dragged down, sucked under. She felt like she was shaking all over, even though she stood perfectly still.

She thought she might fall...

Faith took her hand.

Faith's hand was warm. It was strong. It centered Buffy...held her up.

"Come in, Angel," Buffy said, and stepped aside, closer to Faith.

Angel stepped into the house.

He looked at Willow first.

"Hello, Willow," he said.

"Hello, Angel," Willow said.

The fear hit her, when she looked at him; it wasn't as bad as it had been before but she still felt it. She saw herself, in the closet.

She made herself stop thinking about it.

She looked in Angel's eyes. She thought he looked tired.

"Have you been sleeping?" Willow said. She didn't know why she said it. She felt stupid, for saying it.

"No," Angel said. "Have you been...okay?"

"Mostly," Willow said.

"Good," Angel said.

"That's...for me?" Willow said, and looked at the plywood case.

"Um...yeah," Angel said. "If...you don't want to accept it...I understand."

They faced each other. Willow looked into Angel's eyes...made herself look into them.

Angel blinked, and looked down at the floor.

"Can I...open it?" Willow said.

She felt Xander stiffen beside her.

"I'll, um, open it for you," Angel said. "Weird nineteenth-century latch thing going on here."

He bent down, and snapped open a series of latches. The plywood case fell open in two sections. Angel removed one section, and then they could all see what was inside.

It was a painting.

It was a landscape: a painting of a garden that went on forever under a golden sun in a clear blue sky; a universe of green, dotted with flowers as bright as stars...

"That's...one of Cassie's," Willow said.

"The only one that survived," Angel said. "The house burned."

"Who's Cassie?" Xander said.

No one responded. Finally Willow said, "Drusilla's sister. She used to paint...I saw some of her paintings...last summer. They were beautiful."

"Yeah," Angel said. "They were. I've kept this one...everywhere I've gone, I've taken it with me, kept it safe. It's all that's left of her now."

Angel removed the painting from the case, and peeled a thin layer of translucent wrapping from it.

He held the painting out to Willow.

"I thought...you might like to have it," he said.

No one spoke. Willow felt everyone's eyes on her.

Willow felt Xander beside her; he was still tense. She knew what he wanted her to say.

Willow looked at the painting again. It was beautiful. The flowers leaped from the canvas; that golden sun lit up the room. When she looked at that painting, Willow was standing in a garden, under a clear blue sky, and the intoxicating scent of a thousand flowers came to her, all mingled together on a gentle breeze. The golden sun warmed her. She felt the breeze, on her skin.

"I can't accept it," Willow said. She made herself look Angel in the eyes again, when she said it.

"Yeah...um...okay," Angel said. "I...understand. I'm...sorry. I guess...it wasn't a good idea."

He looked down at the floor. Then he bent down, and hurriedly put the painting back in its plastic wrapping, and then back into the case.

Buffy watched him. His movements were always economical, swift, precise, with absolutely no wasted motion; now they weren't. He fumbled at the latches on the plywood case.

Willow watched the painting...all that was left of Cassie. She watched it return to the shadows...she watched, as its light was extinguished.

Cassie, Willow remembered herself whispering. Look at me.

Willow remembered Cassie looking at her. She remembered Cassie's green eyes...she remembered her red hair. It was done up in a chignon bun. It always was...

She remembered sitting in the closet, and thinking about Cassie...holding on to the memory of her, because it was all she had there, in the dark. She remembered thinking about checker tournaments...and laughing in the garden, as Cassie painted her portrait...laughing in the sun, as she laid there in the dark...

Willow remembered the tear rolling down her cheek...she thought she could feel it now.

She remembered the feel of the revolver in her hand. It felt cold and hard.

I love you, Willow remembered herself saying...

Angel finally got the latches to work, and closed the case.

Buffy watched him. When he straightened up and looked at them again, his eyes were different. He always stared directly at whoever he was talking to, looked them straight in the eye; it was jarring but that's just how he was and she had eventually gotten used to it. Now he wasn't doing that. His eyes were unfocused. He looked into the middle distance.

Xander put his arm around Willow.

"Xander," Angel said.

"How's things, Nosferatu?" Xander said.

"Run through with a sword. Hell dimension. Brought back. Don't know how or why," Angel said. "You?"

"Been thinking about killing you a lot," Xander said. "Don't touch my beer. It's in the 'fridge."

"You still drink Rolling Rock?" Angel said.

"Yeah," Xander said.

"Piss water," Angel said, and nearly smiled again.

Buffy watched Angel's eyes. He had recovered his composure. He was looking straight at Xander now.

"You still Guinness?" Xander said.

"I'm Irish and old-fashioned," Angel said.

"Will said you just stood there when she shot that fireball at you," Xander said. "If I tried to kill you would you stand there and let me?"

"No," Angel said. "You always kinda got on my nerves. But I'd let Buffy or Willow kill me."

"Willow and Buffy won't kill you," Xander said.

"Sucks for you," Angel said.

Xander nodded. Then he smiled.

"Have you met Faith?" Xander said. "Faith, the Vampire Slayer. Notice how I emphasized 'Vampire Slayer'?"

Angel looked at Faith. She had been looking straight at him from the moment Buffy opened the door.

"Hello, Faith," Angel said.

"Angel," Faith said. Angel noticed she was standing with her legs slightly apart, her weight on the balls of her feet. Ready for a fight.

"So what's the plan, Buffy?" Angel said, still looking at Faith. Faith was still holding Buffy's hand.

"We're all tired," Buffy said. "Let's...get some sleep. Make plans in the morning. You can have the living room. You know where the 'fridge is if you wanna put your blood in there. My Mom's on vacation for a couple weeks."

"Giles?" Angel said.

"Tomorrow," Buffy said.

Angel nodded.

"And on that note," Xander said, and turned away with his arm around Willow, and walked upstairs with her.

"Good night, Angel," Buffy said, and walked away, holding Faith's hand.

"Good night," Angel said.

Faith didn't move. She kept her eyes on Angel.

Buffy turned.

"Faith," Buffy said.

Faith twirled her stake back along her fingers, and holstered it in the inside pocket of her coat. She smiled, and showed Angel her teeth.

"Catch ya later," she said, and put her arm around Buffy, and walked upstairs with her.

Continued...




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