Gabrielle didn't know what was going on. One moment she was having an argument with Ephiny; the next, she was dreaming that she was fighting in the illegal prison ring again.
'Please tell me I didn't just pass out in front of her,' she thought to herself as she blocked the sudden swing from her faceless attacker on instinct. Gabrielle was surprised to find that she could actually feel the impact of her attacker's fist on her palm when she blocked. The bard knew that she had vivid dreams, despite the fact that she had been trying to ignore them the last few months, but they usually contained emotional pain, not the physical kind. Uncertainty flooded through her as she tried to figure out whether or not she really was in a dream.
Her attacker used the distraction to their advantage and kicked her legs out from underneath the bard. Gabrielle could hear her opponent yelling at her, but she couldn't understand what they were saying. The only thing her senses were focused on was the fight now, and that was what saved her from receiving a kick to the face, her hands instinctively grabbing the foot that came her way.
Reverting back to the warrior persona she had adopted while in the prison, Gabrielle quickly went on the offensive, flipping her opponent onto the ground so they landed on their back. Seeing that the other warrior was winded, the blonde used the chance to aim a kick at her attacker. They were able to just barely roll away from it before getting to their feet and talking again. Gabrielle could only make out half of what they were saying, though, because their voice was so distant and muffled.
"...It will be a pleasure teaching you a lesson." It was those words that finally brought her opponent's appearance into focus. She found herself staring at the man that she had thought she had escaped. Apparently, she had been wrong.
'No, no, no... This has to be a dream!' she thought to herself before Perdicas came rushing at her. Unwilling to bow to her fears ever again, even in her dreams, Gabrielle struck before he could, only to find her fist blocked. She didn't allow the setback to discourage her, instead going on the offensive and attacking with quick punches. She noticed that it was difficult for him to block her attacks and that brought a victorious smile to her face.
'Not so much fun trying to hit me when I can defend myself, is it?' she mentally asked before leaving a false opening. The man fell for it and brought his leg up to kick her in her exposed side. She trapped the limb between her arm and side before getting a better grip and flipping Perdicas onto the ground once more.
Wanting to end her nightmare, Gabrielle pounced on the fallen man, only to get kicked away before she could make contact with him. She quickly readjusted herself in midair so that she could land without hurting herself. Once she hit the ground, her late husband was back on his feet, so the small woman went back on the offensive, aiming several punches to his face. Soon, her anger at the man was clouding her judgement, and the small warrior was making reckless attacks. It wasn't until a hit got through to her shoulder that she began to regain her focus.
Gabrielle glanced at the shoulder that had been hit by the weak punch, not surprised to see the scar that had been left there by the kitchen knife that last bloody, evening together. Quickly recovering from the memory, and the attack, the little bard counterattacked with a kick to the head and watched as her late husband fell to the ground with a 'thud'.
The small blonde wasted no time, and was soon on top of the man on the ground and pulling the sai out of her boot in one fluid motion. She glared down at the image of the man that had hurt her for so long and, hoping to be rid of him for good, brought the weapon down.
The blade had just barely pierced Perdicas' skin when the impact of something, or rather someone, tackling her knocked the weapon out of her hand and forced her to the hard, dusty ground. At least, it was supposed to be hard and dusty. Instead, it felt wet and muddy on her bare skin. It then registered that someone was on top of her and she began struggling against the hold the person had on her upper arms.
"Gabrielle! Gabrielle, snap out of it!" The voice of the warrior princess penetrated through the bard's hazy mind; and although she didn't hear what words were being said, the familiar sound slowly began calming the young woman down.
"That's it. You can relax," Xena said softly, feeling as if she were talking to a frightened animal.
"...Xena?" the blonde asked once she finally stopped struggling against her friend's hold. The warrior nodded in the affirmative before releasing her grip on the bard's shoulders, watching as her friend visibly relaxed after she did so. She then carefully removed herself from her position on top of the blonde and opted to sit next to her. At any other time, the previous position would have been thought of as awkward, but at the moment, Xena was too worried about her younger friend to care.
"Gabrielle, what happened?" she asked once the bard pulled herself into a sitting position and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. The blonde looked beside her and stared at Xena for a few moments before averting her gaze to the ground.
"I don't... Perdicas... He was there... and I thought..." Gabrielle didn't finish her sentence and Xena could see she was doing her best to control herself; but the warrior was closer to the bard than anyone else, so it was plain as day to her that her friend was terrified. She watched as the blonde looked over at Ephiny, who had regained her senses and quickly gotten to her feet. The Amazon seemed to be a little afraid of the smaller blonde.
"It wasn't real, was it?" Xena shook her head and Gabrielle sighed. "I think... I think I need to be alone for a little while," the bard said as she stood up, the warrior coming up soon after her. "I'm sorry, Ephiny. I really didn't mean to hurt you," she apologized before walking away, leaving Xena and the other Amazon behind.
As soon as Gabrielle was out of sight, the warrior turned on Ephiny and leveled a cold glare at her. She saw the Amazon involuntarily gulp and felt a small amount of satisfaction as she walked towards the curly-haired blonde.
"Did you provoke her?" she asked once she reached the other woman, keeping her voice as calm as she could. The other woman was silent, knowing that Xena wouldn't like the answer. "Ephiny! Did. You. Provoke. Her?" Each word was punctuated with a jab to the Amazon's chest, causing her to stumble backwards slightly.
"...Yes," she admitted once Xena had finished poking her. Something told her that there would be a large, red spot on her chest by the end of the day. It would just go with all of the other bruises that she would be sure to have after the beating Gabrielle had given her. Since when had ass-kicking become a requirement for being a bard?
"I see," Xena said in a low growl, causing the Amazon to feel a shiver of fear run up her spine. Even covered in mud, the warrior was intimidating. "Ephiny, I have been trying to see things from your position ever since this trip started. I'm beginning to regret that," she told her.
"I see now that that has been a waste of my time. I hate time wasters. Also, I'm not as forgiving as Gabrielle. In fact, I doubt Gabrielle blames you for what just happened."
"Look Xena, I'm sorry and-"
"Do you really think I'm the one that you should be apologizing to?" Xena asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You don't seriously think Gabrielle is angry with me, do you?" Ephiny wondered aloud. The warrior was quiet for a few seconds before answering the Amazon.
"The real question is: if she is angry with you, would you care?" The other woman fell silent, taking the time to sift through her emotions. On one hand, Gabrielle had abandoned her sisters when they needed her most. On the other hand, the bard had no idea that Velasca would show up.
'If she had kept in touch, she would have known that,' Ephiny thought, although the usual anger wasn't behind it. 'She's obviously been doing more than playing housewife all this time, so maybe that kept her from writing,' she reasoned with herself as she thought of the fight she just had before sighing. She couldn't help it, but she did still care how the younger girl felt towards her.
"Wait until Gabrielle comes back. Then you can apologize to her. In the mean time, you might as well get started on helping rebuild," Xena said once she was sure that Ephiny did still care about the bard. "Think of it as an apologetic gift for Gabrielle," she added on when she saw the look the Amazon gave her.
"Fine. Where do I start?" Ephiny asked through grit teeth. She really didn't want to stay in the small town, but she did need to apologize to Gabrielle. As much as she hated the idea of putting off helping the Amazons, she knew she needed the bard to defeat Velasca.
During her anger, she had forgotten that she wouldn't have been able to do much of anything once she made it to Amazon village, aside from being thrown in prison. She couldn't issue a challenge because she was not of royal blood; and killing Velasca outright would do nothing but cause a civil war between her sisters, so that option was out. She had gone to find Xena, hoping that she would be able to come up with a new kind of plan, only to find Gabrielle with her, which made things significantly easier.
"I'll give you a break and let you help that family over there," Xena answered her, pulling Ephiny out of her thoughts. The Amazon looked to where the warrior was pointing and saw a mother with two children carrying tools over to a dilapidated looking house. Ephiny wondered if their home had been that bad before the storm.
"The roof needs to be fixed and I'm sure the walls could use a little work, as well," Xena told her. The Amazon mentally groaned before starting in the direction of the house. She turned around when she didn't hear the other woman's footsteps behind her, only to find that Xena had disappeared.
"Great. I get to play carpenter while she gets to wander around..." the blonde muttered under her breath before going over to the family of three and introducing herself to the mother. "I'm Ephiny. Would you like any help?" she asked, forcing herself to sound polite. The woman looked down at her children before returning her attention to the muddy woman that had addressed her.
"If it wouldn't be too much of a bother to you. See, my husband is away and won't be back for many seasons. He enlisted himself in the army, you know," the woman explained proudly before shifting the bag of tools she was carrying into one arm and holding her hand out. "I'm Arella. Thank you for offering your assistance, Ephiny," she introduced herself with a smile.
"It's no problem," the Amazon mumbled before relieving the woman of the heavy tool bag and walking towards the house. The sooner she got to work, the faster time would go by. At least, she hoped it would go by faster.
After leaving Ephiny to her work, Xena had gone off to find Gabrielle. At first, she had thought that it would be simple, considering how small the town was, but after a while, she began to realize that the bard had become a master at hiding. She figured that she probably should have learned that the last time she had lost the small blonde in Amphipolis. That was during a time that Gabrielle was unsure of her abilities as a mother and Xena sincerely hoped that the last few months had dispelled that insecurity in her young friend.
Of course, this was unfamiliar territory to Gabrielle and there were no woods surrounding the area for her hide in. Despite this fact, it still took the warrior princess longer than she would have liked to find her missing companion. She was surprised to find her by a barn, of all places, mending a fence. Rather, she was trying to mend a fence and failing miserably at it. If the situation weren't so serious, Xena would have laughed at the frustrated look of concentration on her friend's face as she tried to hold part of the fence up with one arm and hammer the nail into the wood with the other.
Gabrielle's frustration got the better of her, however, and before she knew it, Xena was catching a hammer that had been sent flying in her direction right before it could smack her in the face.
"You're supposed to hit the nail with the hammer, Gabrielle, not other people," she commented dryly as she lowered her hand away from her face and began walking towards her friend, who was beginning to blush with embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, Xena. I didn't know you were there," the young woman apologized. "I'm just so frustrated. It really shouldn't be this hard to fix a fence!" Xena had to resist the urge to laugh at the bard's cute pout. It really should have been a serious moment, after what had happened with Ephiny, but it was hard to take her young friend seriously when she was covered in mud. Not that she looked any better.
"It usually works better if you have someone helping you," she said as she handed the bard the hammer. Gabrielle smiled her thanks as she took the tool, although the usual mirth wasn't behind it this time. Xena mentally sighed, wondering how much damage the fiasco with Ephiny had done to Gabrielle's progress on her journey to a happy life.
"Tell me what happened?" the warrior asked as she easily lifted the long piece of wood that the blonde had previously been trying to nail into the post. She held it up while her friend began to hammer a new nail into the side of the post as she told her side of the story.
"I just... I lost control, Xena. We were having an argument about staying here, and the next thing I know, I'm back in the prison," Gabrielle explained, not taking her eyes off the post as she pounded the nail into the wood, using much more force than necessary. "It was Perdicas I was fighting. I thought it was a dream, but it felt so real..." The blonde trailed off as she finished up with the first nail. Once the piece of metal was in as far as it could go, the bard bent down and grabbed another one out of her small pile on the ground. She was silent as she put this one a little further below the other nail, no doubt collecting her thoughts, and the warrior waited patiently for her to continue.
"Xena, I haven't had a flashback of my time with Perdicas since you rescued me from prison," she finally said, her small voice accompanied by the sound of the hammer striking the nail. "You know better than anyone else that I've had nightmares, but... nothing like this has happened in a long time."
"I have a theory," Xena told her friend after a moment's consideration. Gabrielle looked up from her task at this, muttering a curse under her breath when her hand didn't stop moving and she ended up hitting her thumb with the hammer.
"Care to fill me in on your little theory?" she asked curiously as she stuck the now sore digit into her mouth. For a moment, the warrior was reminded of the child that she had left sleeping at the inn. How could she have not seen the resemblance between the two when she first found Nexa?
"I guess it wouldn't hurt," she teased, getting the bard to roll her eyes. "Gabrielle, we never talked about what happened during those years we spent apart, and that's partly my fault," the warrior said, becoming serious again. The bard was about to say something but Xena arched an eyebrow and the blonde decided to hold her tongue and allow the warrior to finish. "Like I said, it was partly my fault because I didn't want to make you go through the pain of remembering. It was a foolish mistake on my part."
"You don't have to shoulder all of the blame, you know. I could have said something on my own," Gabrielle told her.
"Do you really think you would tell me, Gabrielle? I can hardly even get you to admit to having a cold," the warrior teased her, referring to the time in Amphipolis that the bard had gotten sick after being out in the middle of a storm for too long. The girl had been miserable for days, but she wouldn't admit that she was sick until Xena finally tricked her into it. The blonde looked down at the ground when she brought up the memory, no doubt embarrassed about the childlike behavior she had displayed then.
"I learned it from you," she heard the bard mutter under her breath. Xena had to smile at that.
"I'm sure you did. In all honesty, it makes me wonder how you were ever able to put up with me when we first started traveling together," she told her companion, who had gone back to her previous task.
"Oh, there were definitely things that made it worthwhile," Gabrielle remarked casually before realizing what she had just said. It took all of her willpower to not stop the hammer in mid-swing.
"Oh really? And those would be?" Xena asked in a low purr. The bard felt her face turn red as she tried to think of something on the spot.
"Fish! The fish... they uh... they definitely made things less um... yeah," she stammered, knowing it was a horrible lie. Luckily, her dark friend let her get away with it and thankfully allowed a silence to fall between them.
"I'll make you a deal," Xena offered, breaking the silence and gaining Gabrielle's attention. "I'll teach you how to properly mend a fence if you talk about what happened while we work." As she waited for the bard's answer, the warrior thought about her friend's earlier comment. What, exactly, had made her moods tolerable to her young friend when they had been together?
"If you think it will help," Gabrielle finally said with a sigh, pulling Xena out of her thoughts. The sad smile she saw on the blonde's face was enough to make the warrior forget about the comment for the moment and worry about what was really important.
"I do," she assured the girl, wishing she could say more, but not knowing how to say it. Gabrielle obviously didn't know how to say what she wanted, either, because they both stood there in another uncomfortable silence. "Why don't you start at the beginning?" Xena prompted after a few seconds.
"I guess that's as good a place as any," the blonde said before going back to the moment that her Tartarus had begun. When she spoke, her voice was somewhat detached and sounded nothing like the one she used to tell a story in a tavern. "The first time he hit me wasn't long after you left with Callisto."
Those words alone filled Xena with guilt. She remembered that day too well. She had given Gabrielle the cold shoulder when the girl tried to thank her. She was hurt that the bard had chosen Perdicas over her and jealous of the man that she had saved from death. If she hadn't let those emotions get the better of her, perhaps she could have spared Gabrielle from the pain she had endured.
"He apologized, and I, of course, believed him," Gabrielle continued, unaware that she had stopped her hammering. "At first, it seemed like he really was serious about being sorry and the incident was forgotten. But when he couldn't find work, things started to go bad. There came a time when it didn't take much to set him off, even after he managed to find a job. I wanted to leave so badly, but I honestly thought that I could change him. A part of me couldn't believe what he had become... I was so stupid for not leaving." There was a pause as Gabrielle tried to regain her composure. Xena could tell the younger woman was fighting back tears.
"Then we found out I was pregnant. I was so happy, and for once, so was he. I thought maybe things would get better after that. In a way, they did. At least, he didn't hit me while I was carrying his child. There was no way he wanted to chance hurting his future son. Imagine his surprise when I pushed out a tiny girl instead of a boy." She smiled when she thought of the day she had given birth to Nexa. It had hurt like Hades, but the precious gift she received for her effort had been reward enough for her. "I named her after you, you know," she said, giving her friend a smile and ignoring the way her voice caught when she spoke.
"I know," Xena told her, returning the expression before listening to Gabrielle continue her story.
"He was so mad. I knew he didn't like Nexa, but for some unknown reason, he never tried to hurt her. He took his anger out on me instead, and I thank the Gods everyday for that. I don't... I don't know what I would have done if he had hurt her," she said. The bard was quiet once more, but warrior didn't push her to continue. She stood there, waiting patiently for her friend to find the right words.
"There were days when I wanted to leave, but my mind kept reminding me that I couldn't. I had nowhere to go." Xena was about to object, but she remembered that this was the bard's story. Gabrielle needed this outlet, and she wasn't going to interrupt. "I couldn't go to my parents. Perdicas knew them, and they would probably just send me back to him anyways. They would never believe that he could hurt me. I thought about going to the Amazons, but I didn't think they would accept me. I had become something they all detested. A woman that allowed a man to treat her like dirt." Again, there was silence as the bard chose her next words carefully.
"And I didn't think I deserved to be with you," she added on quietly, taking Xena by surprise. "I abandoned you. I left you all by yourself. And after everything that had happened, I didn't think you would want me back." After those words, the strained hold that Gabrielle had on her emotions broke, and tears began to fall down her face. Seeing this, the warrior quickly moved closer to her and brought the blonde into a tight embrace, allowing the girl to release the pain she had been holding in for so long.
"Oh, Xena... I should have g-gone back to y-you," Gabrielle hiccupped through her tears, her voice muffled by Xena's leather armor. "I just felt so... broken. H-He used me and I let him. For three years, I let him use my body for whatever he wanted." Xena pulled her closer, surprised that was even possible, and tried to soothe the young woman as sobs shook Gabrielle's body.
"It's okay, Gabrielle. Everything's alright now," she said as she ran her hand through the short, blonde locks of hair and tucked the bard's head underneath her chin. "You're going to be okay," she assured her friend. She wasn't sure if the bard ever heard her, but she did her best to keep talking while Gabrielle cried.
The sun was going down by the time the two of them made it back to the inn, covered in mud and sweat. After the bard had finally been able to get a hold on her tears, Xena held up her end of the bargain and taught her how to fix the fence. There had been many oaths spoken under Gabrielle's breath and the hammer had gone flying on more than one occasion because the blonde had become so frustrated, but by the time they were finished, she was a professional carpenter. Well, she could mend a fence, and she considered that a step in the right direction.
"Mama!" The sound of the child's familiar voice was the first thing that greeted the two friends when they walked into the tavern. Soon after, Gabrielle felt small arms wrap around her waist. She looked down and wasn't surprised to see the dark-blonde head of her daughter pressing itself against her side. Gabrielle smirked, thinking she was either really short, or her daughter was taller than most girls her age.
"I see you missed me, my little warrior." She was answered with a nod of the little girl's head. "Well, Mama just needed... a little time with Xena," she said as she pat the girl on the head as she looked over at her friend with a smile, who reluctantly returned the gesture. Nexa looked up at her and narrowed her eyes.
"Well, that's okay then, I guess. Tell me next time, 'kay?" the girl told her mother, who was unable to deny her daughter's request.
"Of course."
"Tha's good," Nexa said before turning to Xena. "You took care of Mama, right?" she asked, trying to raise her eyebrow like she had seen the warrior do when she was trying to scare people.
"Of course," Xena responded, mimicking Gabrielle's answer. Before they could continue the conversation with the young girl, Ephiny came in through the doors of the tavern. There was a thoughtful expression on her face as she walked past the three of them. Xena doubted that she even noticed them as she walked over to the bar and ordered something to eat. It wasn't until she sat down at a table with her food that she seemed to realize that they were there.
“Gabrielle!” she exclaimed, quickly standing up and nearly knocking over the plate that held her food in the process, causing Nexa to giggle. “Gabrielle, I um... I needed to... Well, I wanted to...” The words didn’t seem to want to come to the Amazon now that she had her chance to do what she had been waiting to do all day. “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have acted... that way,” she finally managed to get out.
“You’re sorry?” Gabrielle asked, completely taken aback by the other woman’s apology. The Amazon nodded her head, telling her that she had heard her correctly. “Ephiny, I nearly killed you. I think I should be the one apologizing.”
“If I hadn’t provoked you, that wouldn’t have happened,” Ephiny reminded her before smiling slightly. It was the most emotion the other woman had shown her besides anger and indifference during their few weeks together. “Besides,” she said, touching the side of her head with her hand, “I think you may have knocked a little sense into me.”
“So that’s why you were so caught up in your thoughts when you walked in here?” Gabrielle asked.
“Well, that’s part of the reason,” she answered. “Maybe I’ll tell you the other part of the reason someday,” she added on, almost laughing at the fallen expression on the bard’s face. The truth was, while she had been working to fix Arella’s home, the woman and her children had kept her company. They even helped her with some of the harder tasks. While they worked, Arella told Ephiny about her life in the town, and she began to realize why Gabrielle had felt the need to stay here and help rebuild.
These were genuinely good people. The Amazon had been unable to see that, even while staying there, because of her own problems. And when Gabrielle had tried to explain it to her, Ephiny had lashed out and refused to listen. Although she regretted that decision, and for more reasons than one, she had learned from her mistake. Arella had helped her see her princess’s reasoning, as well, and had given her a lot to think about. While it would take her awhile to get used to having the bard back in her life, at least now she accepted that the blonde was her friend again, despite the fact that they had fought that morning.
“Well, I hope whatever that other reason is, it was a good one,” Gabrielle told her, pulling Ephiny out of her thoughts only to have an awkward silence settle around them. “Now um... I think a bath is in order. I feel like I’ve been rolling around with the pigs,” the bard said, trying to dismiss herself without seeming too rude. Ephiny nodded and Gabrielle smiled at her before grabbing hold of Xena’s hand. “Come on, Warrior Princess. You smell just as bad as I do, and I bet you’re twice as dirty,” she ordered, pulling the warrior behind.
Ephiny chuckled as she watched the two of them go down the hall that the rooms were located before feeling someone tug on her skirt. She looked down and wasn’t surprised to see Gabrielle’s daughter.
“Yes?” she drawled as she knelt down so she was eye level with the youngster.
“What are you laughing at?” Nexa asked in that inquisitive, innocent voice that only children possess.
“Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if your mother and Xena know how much in love they really are,” she explained with a smile, earning a shy one from the little girl. It was the first one she had received from Nexa, and she was glad that the little girl finally trusted her. Although, she wasn’t sure what she had done to earn that trust, since she had been such a bitch to the girl’s mother.
“They do. They jus’ won‘t say it yet,” the little girl answered her before sticking her thumb in her mouth. “Grandma says ‘Love is blind’.” Ephiny nodded at the truth in those words.
“That it is,” she said as she looked down the hallway that Gabrielle and Xena had disappeared down. “That it is.”