Solan stared out his window, watching the woman he now knew was his mother get ready to leave him once more. When he had first found out that he would be staying with Cyrene, he had wanted a room that looked towards the stables so that he could see when Xena was leaving; that way, he could hurry down and ask to be taken with her. He was beginning to regret that choice now that he knew Xena was his mother. When he watched her get ready to leave, it felt as if she was abandoning him all over again. Not that he didn't blame her. He hadn't exactly been polite to her on the way back from Volos.
"Serves her right. She shouldn't have lied to me," he said to himself, trying to reason his actions towards Xena while they were traveling back to Amphipolis. He was unaware that he had an audience of one standing in the doorway until the small voice spoke.
"Xena's going away again?" Solan turned around and was surprised to see Nexa standing in the doorway, her head tilted slightly to the side in question. Solan smiled slightly, before turning back to the window.
"Yes. She's leaving again," he answered her cheerfully, although it was obvious that he was trying to hide his true feelings. Nexa, like her mother, was extremely perceptive when it came to emotions, though. Using quick -but careful- steps, Nexa covered the distance between her and the older boy in no time.
"You're sad," she pointed out as she stared up at his profile. Solan, startled by the voice that was so close to him, looked down. He found himself staring into questioning blue-green eyes. He sighed and walked away from the window, taking a seat on his bed instead.
"You're too smart for your own good, you know," he told her with a small smile as he motioned for her to come sit next to him on the bed. Nexa happily obliged and was soon jumping onto the vacant space next to the blonde boy.
"That's what Xena tells me," she said, pride filling her small voice, before getting back on topic. "Why are you sad, Solan? Xena's going to come back."
"How can you be so sure? What if she's just leaving us here so that she can go back to adventuring? She's obviously done it to me before." Solan didn't know how Nexa had done it, but the little girl had just gotten him to spill what had been bugging him in a matter of minutes.
"Because my Momma told me that Xena would never abandon someone she loves," Nexa said simply.
"Nexa, you hardly knew your... Momma... before she left you," Solan pointed out bitterly. As soon as the words were out, though, he felt ashamed of himself for bringing it up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like it sounded," he apologized, trying to prevent the sad look that was forming on Nexa's face from turning into actual tears. He wouldn't be able to look at himself if he made the small girl cry.
"My Momma didn't leave me because she wanted to," Nexa started, trying hard to keep her tears in check. She knew that Solan hadn't meant what he said, and that he'd feel bad if she started crying, but she still wanted to defend her mother's actions. "She was pwotecting me. Because she loves me. And Xena loves you.” Solan stared down at Nexa, who had been successful in keeping her tears at bay, before standing back up again. An apologetic smile appeared on his face as he reached his hand down and grabbed her smaller one.
“Let’s go say goodbye to Xena.” Nexa nodded her agreement, and they both headed out of Solan’s room. Although he wasn’t quite sure that Nexa was right about his mother, he would try his best to believe it. Besides, when he had eavesdropped on his mother’s conversation the night before, he had found out that Nexa’s mother was Gabrielle; who else knew more about his mother than her?
Once they reached the stables, they saw Amarice talking with Xena. Solan immediately wanted to turn back. Instead, he just stopped walking and waited. He was still uncomfortable with the fact that she had shouted out her feelings towards him, and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to deal with them. Not wanting to get into an awkward situation with the older girl, Solan decided to wait until she was finished talking to Xena. He figured that it wouldn’t hurt to listen in, though, once he heard his name mentioned in the conversation.
“I am really sorry about Solan, Xena. I know you didn’t want him to find out like that,” Amarice apologized, shifting uneasily as she spoke. When Xena looked at her, she immediately found something interesting about a spot on the ground and directed her attention towards it.
“Amarice, I know you’re sorry. And I understand now that it was an accident that, although preventable, did happen,” Xena assured her as she finished adjusting Argo’s saddle. “I’d be more worried about your relationship with Solan right now. It‘s not everyday that a fourteen year old boy hears someone yell they love him.” Amarice’s face colored slightly, although her auburn hair effectively hid the blush. Once she felt the blood leave her cheeks, she raised her gaze from the ground.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about that,” she admitted, her hand subconsciously reaching out and beginning to stroke Argo as a way to calm her nerves.
“Amarice, I’m not going to rip you limb from limb for feeling this way about Solan. Hurt him in anyway, however, and I’ll make you wish that was what I did to you,” she said as she began packing her things onto Argo. Amarice couldn’t tell if Xena’s threat was meant to be taken seriously, or as a joke. Either way, it didn’t matter. Solan obviously didn’t return her feelings.
“You won’t have to worry about me breaking his heart, Xena,” she muttered. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Amarice, that’s the second time you’ve said that. Please, get to the point,” the warrior princess told her, now facing the Amazon with her arms crossed. “Well?” she asked when Amarice still didn’t talk.
“I think I should leave for a little while,” the young woman finally said. Before Xena could object, she went on to explain. “Things are really awkward between Solan and me now, and I don’t know if I can stand seeing him shy away from me every time I try to talk to him,” she managed to get out before diverting her gaze back to the ground once more. “I just want things to be the way they were before,” she added on in a whisper. Xena looked at the young woman, who was now showing a vulnerable side that Xena had never seen before.
Gone was the cocky teenager that acted more grown up than she really was, and was sure she would never fall in love. In her place was a scared little girl that had learned the consequences of losing her heart to another, and just wanted things to go back to normal so that she could feel safe again. Xena knew from experience that things would never go back to being the same, and she told her younger friend as much.
“Listen to me, Amarice.” The dejected young woman tilted her head up and Xena found herself staring into watery eyes. “Don’t let this one experience keep you from loving again. You took a risk. Not on purpose, of course, but you did take it. Just because it didn’t pay off this time doesn’t mean it won’t pay off the next time you take one,” she told Amarice, who began to wipe her eyes so that her tears wouldn’t fall.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Xena,” she said with a sniffle before cracking a small smile. “When you find Gabrielle, you should take a risk of your own.” Xena simply rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, yeah... Get going, Amazon. You wouldn‘t want anybody to see you going soft,” she told her. Amarice let out a choked laugh before leaning forward and wrapping Xena in a goodbye hug. Surprised, Xena awkwardly returned the hug before releasing Amarice.
“I’ll be back once I have everything sorted out, I promise. You won’t get rid of me that easily,” she said with a smirk.
“And whoever said I wanted you to come back?” Xena teased her, earning a playful punch in the arm from Amarice.
“Someone has to help Gabrielle keep you out of trouble,” the Amazon told her with a smirk before walking into the stables to get her own horse ready to go. Xena shook her head before turning back to Argo.
“Ready to go, girl?” she asked, stroking the golden mare’s neck. Argo neighed, nodding her head up and down. “Me too,” Xena chuckled. Before she could mount the horse though, Solan and Nexa appeared at her side.
“Am’wice is leaving, too?” Nexa asked, looking up at Xena with curious eyes. The warrior nodded before crouching down so that she was level with Nexa.
“Why don’t you give me a hug and then go say goodbye to her?” she suggested. Nexa smiled brightly before wrapping her small arms around Xena’s neck. Xena returned the hug before sending Nexa on her way to say goodbye to Amarice. Once the girl was gone, Xena stood back up and turned her attention on Solan.
“So... you’re both leaving?” Solan asked, keeping his tone as neutral as he could. The last thing he wanted was Xena knowing that he had begun to understand why she had done the things she did.
“Yeah.” Xena studied Solan’s expression, trying to figure out what was going through her son’s head. It was obvious that he was her offspring, however, when she realized that there was no way she could figure out what he was thinking. Long moments ticked by before Solan spoke again.
“Be careful, okay? I don’t want to lose my mother all over again,” he said. He had planned on just walking away after he told her that, but something rooted him to the spot. Before he knew it, Xena placed a hand on his shoulder and was giving him a half smile. He could tell that she wanted to pull him into a hug, but the stoic warrior persona wouldn’t allow her to do something like that. Saving her the trouble, Solan moved forward and gave Xena a quick hug before pulling away. The moment between the mother and son was ruined, however, when they heard Amarice shriek.
“Xena! Why did you send Nexa in here to kick me?!” Amarice asked as she carried the blonde child out. Nexa had a grin on her face as the Amazon carried her out.
“I sent her in there to tell you goodbye,” Xena said, trying hard to keep a straight face. Amarice rolled her eyes before handing the girl over to Xena.
“You know her goodbyes involve kicking me,” she growled before she noticed Solan. “Well uh... I should be going. I’ll see you around, Xena,” she excused herself before going back into the stables and mounting Ice. It wasn’t long before she was exiting the stables and heading away from Amphipolis. Xena watched her as she left, knowing that she would see the girl again before she knew it.
After sending Solan and Nexa back to the inn and saying goodbye to her mother, Xena was back on the road again. It was strange traveling by herself after having a companion for so long. At the same time, though, it was nice to have some space. At least, that’s how she felt the first day traveling by herself. By noon of her second day on the road, Xena couldn’t wait to be with Gabrielle again. By the time she reached Volos, she had taken to having entire conversations with Argo, just like she used to do.
A small smile appeared on her face as she entered the town, but it was quickly replaced by a cool mask. Although she was anxious to find out where Gabrielle had been taken, a feeling in her gut was telling the warrior that something was wrong. The feeling was confirmed when she saw a circle of people huddled together in the center of the town.
“What’s going on?” she asked as she pushed her way through the crowd. No one answered her, but Xena was able to follow their gaze to the ground once she made her way to the front of the crowd. What she saw was enough to dash almost any hope of her ever finding Gabrielle.
Lying in the middle of the crowd, in a pool of his own blood, was the arrogant judge that Xena had spoken with two weeks before. The warrior could have sworn she felt her heart stop during the long seconds that she stared at the dead body that had held all her hope of finding Gabrielle. Xena found herself having to blink back tears of frustration as her gaze joined those of the townspeople. She had been so close to being reunited with her friend, just to have the hope ripped out of her hands once more.
Refusing to allow herself to become too emotional, Xena pulled away from the crowd and began investigating the area. Perhaps there was some clue that would help her find the murderer.
“Miss? What are you doing?” one of the men asked. Xena didn’t even bother to glance back at the group of people when she answered.
“I’m trying to figure out who killed your judge. In case you didn’t know, people usually don’t just show up in a pool of their own blood by themselves.” The sarcastic answer was enough to rile a few of the townspeople up.
“Look lady. This is our problem. We’ll deal with it ourselves,” a man told her. Xena ignored him as she continued to look for anything that could assist her. “Hey!” the man objected when she turned over the judge’s body. “This is none of your business, warrior, so I suggest you get out of here.” Before he could say another word, Xena’s chakram was pressed to his throat.
“This man knew where I could find my friend, which makes it my business. So I suggest that you be quiet before I make you lose your voice. Permanently,” she growled at him threateningly, pressing the edge of her chakram into his neck. The man brought up his hands in surrender, knowing that he was no match for the woman. Satisfied with his surrender, Xena removed the chakram from his throat and placed it back in its holster. Without another word, she left the scene. No one ever saw her place a chain necklace in her armor, right next to her breast dagger.
Once she was sure she was alone in the forest, Xena pulled the chain out from between her breasts and began examining the pendant that dangled from it. It was two swords crossed over a shield. She knew who it belonged to almost immediately.
“Ares...” she growled before pocketing the chain necklace. “Ares, you bastard! You get your ass down here, right now!” she called up to the Heavens. She was determined to get to the bottom of this before the day was over.
“No need to shout, Xena. My hearing’s just fine,” a familiar voice said from behind her. A low chuckle erupted from the God of War’s throat as he lowered his head beside Xena’s ear and began speaking to her. “Now what is it you wanted, my Warrior Princess?” Xena jerked herself away from him and turned around.
“We both know damn well what I want, Ares,” she told him as she crossed her arms and glared at him.
“Ah ah ah. You only think you know what you want,” Ares tsk’d as he began circling her. “You think you want to find your little blonde bard.”
“And I suppose you’re going to tell me what I really want?” she asked, keeping her eyes on him as he circled her like he was some kind of predatory animal.
“That’s what I always liked about you. You’re able to predict almost any move your opponent makes,” he told her before drawing his sword and lunging at her. At the same time, Xena drew her own and blocked the attack. They stood there, locked in place. “See what I mean?” he asked with a chuckle.
“I hate to disappoint you Ares, but you’re extremely predictable,” she said before kicking him away from her. “Now tell me. Why did you have someone kill the judge? Afraid I was going to find out where Gabrielle is?” she asked, keeping her guard up.
“Oh Xena. You have such a one track mind. Is Gabrielle all you think about?” Not waiting for a response, he flipped over Xena and brought his sword down on her neck. Or at least, where her neck had been. Metal hit metal as Xena blocked the attack and spun around so that she was facing Ares.
“I wouldn’t be talking, Ares. I seem to be the only one you think about,” she pointed out. “At least I have a chance with Gabrielle.”
“Oh, now that’s just hitting beneath the belt.”
“No. This is hitting beneath the belt.” Before he could move, Xena brought her foot up in a kick, landing a blow to a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. Although he couldn’t feel the actual pain, the shock of actually being kicked there made Ares back off a few paces. “Now then, Ares... tell me what I want to know. Where is Gabrielle?”
“Like I said. One track mind,“ he said as he sheathed his sword. There had been enough playtime, and if his plan worked, there’d be more than enough time later to play again.
“Tell me, Ares!” Xena shouted at him, beginning to get impatient. “Where is Gabrielle, and why have you been meddling in our lives?”
“Oh, so now I’ve been ‘meddling’ in your lives?” he asked, making imaginary quotation marks around the word ‘meddling’.
“Ares!”
“Whoa! Now there’s that fire I’ve been missing, Xena,” he exclaimed with a smirk. “Maybe if I wait long enough to answer, you’ll use it for me, instead of against me. What do you say Xena?” Xena’s eyes narrowed in anger.
“What makes you think I would ever want to join you?” she asked, her voice dangerously low. Ares ignored the threat in her voice, calmly crossing his arms before answering.
“Information. You head my army, and I make sure you find your little blonde friend in no time,” he offered.
“So that’s what this has all been about. You did all this just to get me on your side. Is that it?”
“Pretty much, yes.”
“You are an idiot. Gabrielle would never want me to go back to what I used to be just to find her,” she told him.
“You’re Gabrielle is dead, Xena. Who knows what this new Gabrielle wants,” he chuckled before disappearing into thin air, ignoring Xena’s angry yell as she grabbed her chakram and threw it where he used to be. ‘It’s good to be a God.’
“You miserable bastard! Get back here!” Xena called after Ares as she pulled her chakram out of the tree it had become embedded in. When it became clear that he wouldn’t be coming back, she punched the tree in frustration. She could feel tears stinging the back of her eyes once more, but she refused to cry. Now was not the time to let her emotions get the better of her. Now was the time to find her friend. And as much as she hated to ask for it, Xena was going to need some help.
After leaving the woods and going back to the town, Xena found Argo and began her journey back to Amphipolis. A plan was forming in her head as she rode. She was going to find Gabrielle without Ares, no matter how long it took. The words that Ares had spoken, however, had instilled a sense of urgency in her. Something told her that she would have to find Gabrielle soon, or she would lose her bard completely.
A week after leaving Volos, Xena was back in Amphipolis; much to Cyrene’s surprise.
“Xena, I didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” her mother greeted her when she walked into the tavern.
“Me neither. Something happened, though, so I’m back,” Xena told her. “Mother, when does the next messenger come through here?” she asked suddenly.
“Let’s see... three days from now, I believe,” Cyrene said. “Xena, what happened? Where’s Gabrielle?”
“That’s exactly what I want to know, Mother,” Xena replied as she began pacing the floor, trying to think. “Unfortunately, I’m going to need some help if I ever want to find out.”
“Xena, will you stop pacing for a moment and just tell me what happened in Volos?” Cyrene asked, blocking the path that Xena had been walking back and forth over. Xena was quiet for a moment as she stared down at her mother while trying to keep her stoic warrior mask on, but Cyrene could see right through it; right down to the pain in Xena’s core.
“The judge was killed before I could get there, Mother, and I have no idea where Gabrielle is,” she explained once she was sure she could talk without losing her composure.
“Oh Xena...” Cyrene said before placing a comforting hand on her daughter’s cheek. “I’m so sorry.” Before she knew it, the tavern keeper was holding on to a silently crying warrior princess. A warrior princess that she hadn’t seen cry since she was twelve. In fact, if it hadn’t been for the wetness on her shoulder, she wouldn’t have known Xena was crying. As she ran her hand in circles on Xena’s back, she began to whisper comforting words into her daughter’s ear. “You’ll find her, Xena. I believe in you.”