~ Differing Shades of Grey ~
by Hillsys Stalker

Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, Gabrielle, Amarice, Cyrene, Aphrodite, or Ares. I do, however, own Nexa and Rosaline. Do not steal them or use without permission.
Content Warning: The language isn't too bad, but there is a lot of violence. It is mainly spousal abuse. If this makes you uncomfortable, please skip over this story. There is also love between two women. If this bothers you, no one's forcing you to read this. You may skip over it.


Part 15

"How many times do I have to tell you, little bard? You have to stay three steps ahead of your opponent if you want to ever see your precious Xena again." Gabrielle glared at the woman across from her as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. She wasn't surprised to see blood when she pulled her hand away. There was always some part of her that ended up bleeding after her now daily fighting sessions with Callisto. And even though she had been stuck in this prison for four months now, she still wasn't a match for the insane blonde when they sparred.

She couldn't remember exactly when the fighting lessons had started, but Gabrielle had a feeling that it was soon after they had had their argument about who was to be blamed for Callisto's actions.

Gabrielle groaned as she felt herself being jostled awake by her companion. The wound in her side still hurt from her previous fight. She rolled over onto her uninjured side, hoping it would make the other woman stop shaking her.

"What do you want?" she finally asked when it became apparent that Callisto wasn't going to stop bugging her any time soon. When all that greeted her was silence, she rolled back onto her back and opened her eyes. Now familiar brown eyes bore into her green ones, and she couldn't help feeling a bit nervous. Even though she had already been sharing a cell with Callisto for a month, she always kept in mind that Xena was her worst enemy, and she would do anything to get back at the warrior princess.

"You know exactly what I want," Callisto growled before reaching out and caressing Gabrielle's cheek. The former bard jerked her head away and glared at the willowy blonde. "Unfortunately, you won't give me what I really want right now," she continued. "And if you don't learn to fight, I won't get the chance to kill you in front of Xena."

"Is there a point to this conversation?" Gabrielle asked in a low voice, losing her patience with her cellmate.

"Isn't there always a point to our conversations?" Callisto responded with a smirk.

'No,' Gabrielle thought before she was suddenly pulled up with the other woman. She yelped when Callisto shoved her into the cell bars, ignoring the threats coming from the guards.

"Come on, little bard. Show me what Xena taught you," the crazy blonde told her with a sneer, pressing on her harder. Trying not to think about how much stronger Callisto was, Gabrielle tried to push the other woman off her. Callisto was able to keep a hold on her, though, and suddenly Gabrielle felt like she was back with Perdicas again. With a desperate cry, she managed to slip out from under Callisto's hands and duck under her arms.

"What are you doing?!" Gabrielle asked, her voice tinged with anger and a little bit of fear. She received her answer in the form of a fist aimed at her wounded side. She clumsily jumped back, losing her balance and falling back to the ground. Callisto used the opportunity to jump on top of her, holding Gabrielle's shoulders down and head-butting the bard in the face. Gabrielle saw stars before she looked up into angry brown eyes.

"No wonder Xena never came to your rescue. With fighting skills like yours, you're just a liability to her," Callisto remarked as the dazed bard tried to regain her focus. "I can't allow you to be a liability to me. I already told you once that I would kill you myself if you became one. By the looks of it, you'll become one some time soon." A thoughtful look found its way onto Callisto's face. At least, Gabrielle thought it was a thoughtful expression. Her vision was still too out of focus to tell. "Now, I don't want to kill you just yet. It's so nice to see Xena's precious bard lose a piece of her soul every time she kills," she mused thoughtfully. Gabrielle glared at her.

"Get to the point," she said through grit teeth.

"Patience, little bard," Callisto tsk'd, wagging one finger at the smaller blonde. "I was thinking about this last night, and I came up with an idea." Gabrielle waited for Callisto to explain.

"And this idea would be...?" she asked as patiently as she could when Callisto decided not to continue talking.

"You mean it's not obvious?" Gabrielle glared. "We were just doing it. For a bard, you don't pay attention."

"Your plan is to beat me into a bloody pulp?" she guessed with a slightly raised eyebrow, a look she had learned from Xena.

"No, that's not until we meet up with your warrior princess," Callisto said. "And in order for you to live until we meet up with Xena again, you're going to have to learn how to defend yourself better in the fights."

"I've lasted this long haven't I?"

"On adrenaline and luck. As amusing as it is to watch you clumsily kill someone, it'd be much easier on the eyes for me if I could watch you kill them with some finesse," Callisto told her. Gabrielle tried to tell if she was joking, but she could not detect any hint of sarcasm. The woman really did get enjoyment out of watching her kill someone.

"So you're going to..." Gabrielle trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

"I'm going to teach you how to fight, little bard," Callisto told her with a smile that sent chills up Gabrielle's spine.

"You're going to teach me how to kill, you mean..."

And teach, Callisto did. Everyday, the two of them would spar, Callisto barking out commands every so often. The lessons always ended the same way, too: with Gabrielle on her back, panting for breath, and some lewd comment from Callisto that she guessed the insane woman thought was seductive. It was definitely different than what the bard was used to. When she was with Xena, the warrior princess usually seemed to have a never ending amount of patience when she was trying to teach Gabrielle how to use the staff. If Gabrielle messed up with Callisto, she usually paid for it.

And while she didn't get to practice with her sais, the lessons still helped her build her strength. She just wished the woman would teach her how to fight without using techniques that killed. Of course, just because Callisto didn't teach her how to fight without killing didn't mean that Gabrielle couldn't fight without taking a life.

After every lesson with the insane woman, the bard would practice what she had learned, changing the moves slightly so they weren't fatal. Callisto would continuously mock her, asking why she bothered. She was already a murderer, after all. She did her best to ignore the insane woman, but there were always days when certain things Callisto said would break her concentration and stick with her through the night. Especially after any fight that she lost control in.

There had been some men in the arena that she faced that had reminded her of Perdicas. Or, they would hit a spot on her body and trigger a memory that she had tried to bury. As hard as she tried, she couldn't control when the flashbacks happened; and she couldn't control herself when she was lost in the past until it was too late.

"Why so quiet, little bard? Am I a bad conversationalist?" Callisto teased as she aimed another punch at Gabrielle's face. The smaller blonde quickly moved to the side and wrapped her hands around Callisto's wrist. Using all of the force she could, she flipped Callisto over. The older woman saw the move coming, however, and once she hit the ground she used the grip she already had on Gabrielle's hand to throw the smaller blonde into the wall, her armor absorbing little of the collision.

Before Gabrielle could try to get back up, Callisto was coming at her again and aiming a punch at her chest. Gabrielle just barely managed to roll out of the way, wincing when she heard Callisto's fist make contact with the hard ground they were sparring on.

"Callisto, stop!" Gabrielle shouted as the willowy blonde came at her again. She raised her arms just in time to block a spinning kick from the older woman. "Callisto!" Her cellmate froze just as the second kick she launched was about to make contact with Gabrielle's head.

"What? Tired of playing?" she asked with a slight pout. Gabrielle shook her head before placing a hand on Callisto's boot, gently pushing it away from her head so she didn't feel so awkward. Callisto brought her foot to the ground as she waited for the younger woman to talk.

"Let me see your hand," Gabrielle insisted as she took a step forward. The other blonde took a step back while bringing her hand up to her chest.

"Now why would I want to do a thing like that?" she asked with fake curiosity. Gabrielle rolled her eyes before covering the distance between the two of them, grabbing the other woman's hand. Her eyes narrowed when she realized she grabbed the wrong hand before she reached out and grabbed the other one. "Don't tell me you're trying to help me, little bard," Callisto chuckled.

"Humor me," Gabrielle said as she began to examine the knuckles of Callisto's injured hand.

"Because we both know how much I love accepting help," the other blonde said sarcastically as she tried to pull her hand away. "Fine," she said when she realized that the bard wasn't going to let go. A few minutes ticked by before Callisto began to lose her patience. "Are you done yet?" she asked.

"Will you just wait? You hit your hand pretty hard," Gabrielle told her, not bringing her gaze up from Callisto's bloodied hand. "I think I've learned enough today," she finally said, dropping the hand and walking away from the older blonde. Callisto watched Gabrielle's retreating back, hiding her thoughts with a blank expression.

She had never had anyone care about her enough to actually force her to stop in the middle of a fight. Not since her family died, anyways. And because she knew her cellmate hated her, she had no idea why the smaller woman would even bother examining her hand. It wasn't like she hadn't faced worse in the fighting ring. A determined smirk appeared on Callisto's face as she began silently slinking over to Gabrielle. She was going to figure out what the little bard wanted from her.

"Tell me, little bard," she purred as she placed two thin hands on Gabrielle's shoulders, "how come pretend to care about me, even after I tried to kill you and your husband?" she asked, ignoring the shudder that she felt. "You know that I'm evil, and you hate my disregard for other lives."

"You're not evil, Callisto," Gabrielle said quietly, trying her hardest not to slip into a flashback as she felt the other woman's hands on her. The low chuckle she heard coming from behind her ear made the task difficult.

"I'm not? Obviously Xena didn't think that. What about you? If you don't think I'm evil, what do you think I am?" she asked, disguising her genuine curiosity with her mocking voice.

"Misguided." Callisto's hands stopped moving as she heard Gabrielle's answer, and she was still for a moment before turning the bard around so that she could face her.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she growled. She couldn't believe Gabrielle didn't think she was evil. She needed her to think she was evil. If she didn't, and Callisto really was misguided, that meant that her decisions had been wrong her whole life. If she had been wrong, it meant that her life really could have been different.

"It means that if you had found someone to help give you the right guidance, you wouldn't have turned out this way. Who was the last person to actually show you that they cared? That hate is a waste of energy and that life isn't about revenge?" Gabrielle explained, the whole time feeling dirty about it. Hadn't she wasted her energy hating Perdicas? Wasn't the reason she was in the prison talking to Callisto because she had gotten her revenge on Perdicas? Thinking about these questions, she didn't even notice that Callisto had let go of her and headed to her own side of the cell, her own mind heavy with thoughts and feelings that she had buried long ago.

Gabrielle thought back to the time Callisto had called her a hypocrite, and she had to admit that the insane woman had been right; she was a hypocrite. She also considered herself the perfect example. Because of hate and revenge, she had lost everything that mattered to her. Her ideals, her chance at seeing Xena again, and her precious daughter.

"Oh Nexa... I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen," she said quietly, looking up at the blue sky and watching the clouds. She wondered if her daughter was able to see them as well. She knew that if she were with her daughter, they'd be laying out on the grass, naming what they saw in the clouds. There would be no Perdicas to worry about. They'd be with Xena. They'd be safe. "I wish I could really be with you instead of just imagining myself with you, my little warrior," she whispered, ignoring the tears that had begun to form in her eyes. Pressing her forehead to the bars, she slid to the ground with a sigh. There used to be a time when she was thankful for her imagination. Now she wished she wasn't able to process any kind of thoughts, so she wouldn't have to know what she was living without.

"Mo-... uh, Xena! Nexa's doing that weird thing again!" Solan called for the warrior princess, catching himself. Hopefully nobody else noticed. It wasn't that he didn't want to call Xena mother. It had taken a while, but he had finally been able to wrap his mind around the fact that Xena was his mother, and he could understand why she hadn't raised him herself. In fact, he had taken to calling Xena 'mom' on a few occasions. Xena noticed the almost-slip and couldn't help but smile. If they had been in Amphipolis instead of Thebes, there was no doubt that he wouldn't have had to catch himself.

Cyrene had forced Xena to take Nexa and Solan to Thebes with her to meet Hercules and Iolaus. Xena had made quite a fuss, according to the innkeeper, so Cyrene had reminded her of her promise to be a part of their lives. So, there they were walking through the streets of Thebes together. They had already stabled Argo, and were heading for the tavern where they were supposed to meet Hercules.

"Could you bring her over here?" she asked. Solan complied, gently lifting the smaller girl up and easily carrying her over to Xena. The warrior princess took the little blonde from her son's arms and took a good look at Nexa. Like always, her blue eyes stayed open, making it appear as if she was staring off into space. And like always, when Nexa's eyes finally blinked, it took her a few moments to realize where she was.

"Are you alright, Little One?" Xena asked as she watched the little girl sleepily look around. Nexa turned towards Xena and smiled as she nodded before leaning forward and resting her head on Xena's shoulder. "Somebody's tired," Xena remarked with a smirk.

"I not ti'ed," Nexa protested just as her eyes were shutting. In moments she had fallen asleep in Xena's arms. Xena couldn't blame her, considering how rough the trip to Thebes had been for the little girl. It seemed like every other night during the journey, the small girl had one of her nightmares, even when she did sleep in the same bedroll as Xena.

“Come on, Solan,” Xena said once she was sure Nexa was sound asleep. “Wouldn’t want to let Iolaus eat all of our food before we got there,” she told him before quickly making her way into the tavern. Solan followed behind her, excited to see the demigod and his friend again. He froze in his tracks when they were halfway to the table, however. Sitting across from the Greek hero and the blonde man was a familiar head of auburn hair. Not only that, but she was sitting next to a dark skinned young man he had never met before.

“Hey Xena, look who we found on our way here!” Iolaus announced excitedly, reminding Solan that there were other people around.

“Amarice, it’s nice to see you again. Who’s your friend?” Xena asked as she pulled another chair up to the table and sat down with Nexa in her arms, raising an eyebrow. Obviously the young woman had gotten over her son just fine; and rather quickly.

“This is Armon. I saved his life, you know,” Amarice told her. Xena caught more than just a hint of pride in her voice when she said the last part.

“And I’ve been in love with her ever since,” the dark skinned man insisted, causing Amarice to blush.

“Armon, it’s not nice to lie. We were horrible together at first. Remember? You kept acting as if you were the Gods’ gift to women when we met,” the young woman reminded him, gently slapping Armon on the arm.

“Like you should talk. I can’t count how many times I had to listen to all the reasons why women are better than men,” Armon teased her, a smile on his lips. Amarice rolled her eyes.

“Women are better than men. It’s not my fault you wouldn’t believe me when I told you, so I had to list all the reasons.”

“Do you two think you could save this argument for later? There are things that we need to talk about,” Xena growled, immediately silencing Amarice and her friend. Everyone was quiet for a moment before Hercules spoke again.

“I haven’t been able to hear anything about where Gabrielle is, Xena,” he started off, “but Aphrodite says that she’s still alright.”

“Are you sure you can’t get more out of her?” Xena asked, wishing she could strangle the Goddess of Love. She could easily tell them where Gabrielle was, if only she weren’t so worried about Ares.

“I’m sorry, but you know Aphrodite. She won’t risk getting into a fight with Ares,” he told her with a shake of his head.

“I may be a big fan of your sister, but I do have to admit that she isn’t being much help in this situation,” Iolaus muttered, resting his chin on his hands as he tried to think of where Gabrielle could be. “She could at least tell us if she were in a prison or not.” The others nodded their heads in agreement. If she was in a prison, it would narrow their search by a little bit. If she had managed to escape, she could be anywhere in Greece. It would also mean that there was a possibility something had happened to her if that was the case. They all knew Gabrielle would have come to Xena if she was able to.

"So... who is this Gabrielle?" Armon asked curiously, regretting it when the conversation died and he felt all eyes on him.

"She's a friend of Xena's. We're trying to find her," Amarice told him awkwardly before leaning and whispering in Armon's ear, "I'll tell you more later."

“Oh... well um, I hope you find her, Xena,” Armon said as he shifted his gaze back to the tabletop. So much for becoming a part of the conversation.

“I will. I have to,” Xena said, adding the last part on in an inaudible whisper.

It was later that night, when she was seeing Solan off to bed, that she began to notice he wasn’t looking as happy as he usually did. After telling Nexa to wait for her in their room, Xena asked her son what was wrong.

“I don’t know,” he told her with a shrug, refusing to make eye contact as he crawled into his bed.

“I’m not buying that,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for an answer. “You and I both know I can wait here all night until you tell me what’s up.”

“I’m not lying. I really don’t know,” Solan insisted. “I just don’t think I like Armon much. I mean, he seems like a nice guy and all, but I don’t know what Amarice sees in him.” Xena chuckled before taking a seat on Solan’s bed.

“I think I know what’s wrong. Solan, you’re not jealous, are you?” Xena asked with a small smile, ruffling Solan’s bangs. The blonde boy glared at her as he pulled his head away from her hand.

“Of course I’m not jealous. Amarice is more like a sister to me. I just don’t think Armon is good enough for her,” he insisted. Xena smirked, getting up from the bed.

“Whatever you say, Kiddo,” she told him, blowing out the candle before leaving the room and heading to her own. She wasn’t surprised to see Nexa still up, the covers pulled up to her eyes.

“What are you still doing up?” Xena asked, closing the door behind her as she entered the room.

“Waiting for you,” Nexa answered softly, her childish blue eyes shining. “Solan okay?”

“Solan’s fine. I’m sure he’s glad that you were worried about him,” Xena told her as she got under the covers and allowed Nexa to cuddle up next to her. “We were worried about you earlier today. What did you see?” When Nexa seemed to stare off into nothing, she would always tell Xena what she saw, sometimes without a prompt from Xena. Usually it was the same thing: lots of rocks.

“There was a scary lady. Mommy was fighting her,” Nexa told her with a shrug before looking up, her eyebrows scrunched up and forming a thoughtful expression. “Why was mommy fighting her?”

“I don’t know. Do you know the scary lady’s name?” Xena asked as she stretched herself over to blow out the candle.

“Callisto.” Xena’s head snapped back to Nexa and she found herself focusing all her attention on the little girl, the candle forgotten.

“Nexa... the scary lady... was she blonde?” she asked, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the girl nod her head. “Callisto...” That was a name she hadn’t heard since she took the blonde into the authorities herself. So where ever Callisto was, Gabrielle was with her. ‘If Gabrielle and Nexa’s dreams are even connected,’ she thought skeptically.

“Take a hint, Warrior Babe,” an annoying, girlish voice said, breaking the silence in the room. Nexa giggled as the goddess clad in pink nightwear appeared in the room. Xena simply glared. “Hey Nexa! How’s my little love child?” she asked as the girl climbed over Xena and ran over to the immortal.

“Aphwodite!” Nexa shrieked as she wrapped the blonde goddess in a hug. Although she didn’t return the hug, Aphrodite gave the small girl an affectionate pat on the head.

“You two know each other?” Xena asked with a raised eyebrow, more than a little annoyance showing in her voice. What did the Goddess of Love want with Nexa, when she wouldn’t even help find her mother.

“Like, of course we know each other. We go way back. I knew little Nexxie before she was even born,” Aphrodite answered as she pried the small blonde child off her waist and zapped her back to the bed. Nexa giggled in delight at the sensation and gave Aphrodite a look that said ’Do it again!’. Aphrodite sighed before zapping the girl once more, making her teleport across the room and then back again. Before the girl could give her another pleading look, she quickly used her powers to send the small blonde child to dream land.

“Care to explain?” Xena asked, already losing her patience with the blonde goddess.

“Keep your shift on, Warrior Babe. I was just about to give you 411,” Aphrodite told her. Xena rolled her eyes at the goddess’ strange language. “Okay, well... more like the 210. I can’t like, give away everything right now. There are still a few surprises I want to keep secret even from you, Warrior Babe.”

“Will you just tell me what you can, then?” Xena asked in a dangerously low voice. She didn’t care if Aphrodite was a god; if she didn’t start talking soon, Xena would find a way to kill her in the most painful way possible.

“Chill out, Princess, and give me a chance to talk.” Xena did as she was told and waited for the blonde goddess to explain.

“Aphrodite!” she shouted when she didn’t say anything.

“Oh! Sorry. I didn’t know you wanted to know like, now,” Aphrodite apologized. Xena mentally groaned in frustration. It was times like these that made her remember why she hated interacting with the gods. That, and the fact that one certain god kept trying to seduce her back to his side. “Let’s just say that I played a bigger role in Nexa’s birth than that uber-bad Perdicas did. Good thing, too. I hate to think about how she may have turned out if Perdicas had actually been able to like, really knock Gabby up,” she explained.

“Wait... Perdicas isn’t really Nexa’s father?” Xena asked. Aphrodite replied with a happy smile. With that news delivered, she was about to go into why she was there in the first place. Xena cut her off, though. “If Perdicas isn’t her father, then who is?”

“Oh, I think you’ll totally dig who I chose,” Aphrodite answered, surprisingly cryptic in her own way. “Now then... what was that other reason why I came here...” she asked herself thoughtfully. “Oh! There was something I seriously needed to tell you about little Nexxie’s dreams!” she exclaimed, smiling triumphantly.

“And that would be?”

“That the connection between a mother and her child can never be broken, especially one as strong as the one between Gabby and little Nexxie,” the blonde goddess told her in a low, serious voice. “Gotta go!” she said suddenly before disappearing into the air, leaving only golden sparks in her place. Xena blinked, trying to comprehend what Aphrodite had just told her.

I was right,’ she thought before practically leaping out of the bed. Once she was sure Nexa was still asleep, the warrior princess quickly left the room and headed for Hercules’ and Iolaus’ room. “I know how to find her,” she said as she burst into their room and scared them awake.

“Huh?” they both asked as they rubbed their eyes, trying to wake themselves up so that they could actually comprehend Xena’s news.

“Gabrielle. I know how to find her!” she said, trying hard to hide her excitement. She wasn’t doing a very good job of it, but she could at least say she was trying to keep her mask on. “She’s with Callisto.”

“And you know where Callisto is?” Iolaus asked hopefully, beating his buddy to the question.

“No, but I know how we can find her,” Xena told them with a cocky smirk. “I’m afraid I’ll have to go back to Amphipolis sooner than planned.”

“Don’t you mean we’ll have to go back to Amphipolis? We don’t plan to make you search for Callisto on your own,” Hercules told her with a grin of his own. Xena was about to object, but Hercules cut her off. “Don’t say anything. You know you’ll need our help, especially if Callisto’s involved. She does have a grudge against you, remember?” Xena glared at him, although she couldn’t deny that he was right. She hated it when other people were right.


Continued...



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