"So Amarice... you said you're an Amazon?" Xena called behind her as they galloped across the plains. Amarice pulled up beside her and looked at Xena with a confused expression on her face.
"Yeah. Why do you wanna know?" she replied as she pushed her chestnut colored mare to go faster.
"Oh no reason." Xena assured her. A few moments went by and the only noise was the sound of hooves hitting the ground. Then Xena spoke again.
"You know, my last companion was an Amazon." she remarked. 'Time to see if this Amazon knows her stuff. I hope she doesn't disappoint me.'
"Xena, I would hardly call Gabrielle an Amazon. She was much more than that." Amarice replied, getting a raised eyebrow from Xena in response. Taking it as a cue to continue, she kept talking. "She was a princess, a bard and the warrior princess' best friend." Somehow, Amarice knew that praising Gabrielle would keep her on Xena's good side, so she had done her research on the Amazon princess.
"Since you know so much about her, then you probably know what will be expected of you if you take her place."
"I don't intend to take her place. I simply want to help you and, hopefully, learn from you in return. We might become friends later on, but I would never try to take Gabrielle's place." Amarice replied as they approached a forest.
'Good answer.' Xena thought as they slowed the horses to a walk. Without a word, she slid off her golden mare and began leading her through the wooded area. Amarice copied her actions and wordlessly followed behind her.
They had been traveling together for two weeks and right away Xena knew it would be a quiet partnership. Although Amarice talked, it wasn't very often; and it definitely wasn't about anything Gabrielle would talk about. Where as Gabrielle noticed the beauty of nature around them, Amarice was like Xena and only saw strategic fighting places.
That was another thing; Amarice knew how to fight without holding back. Being an Amazon from birth, she lost her blood innocence around the same age Xena had. Although this made Xena feel a little better about her choice, she still had a bit of paranoia left from her warlord days. At least with Gabrielle, she knew she didn't have to worry about being killed in her sleep. Gabrielle could never kill anyone.
Xena shook her head as she realized her thoughts were being filled by the bard again. It felt like getting a new partner had been a step in the wrong direction. It seemed that now that she had someone to travel with, she was thinking about the blonde even more than before. She was constantly comparing Amarice with Gabrielle, noting what they did differently. Which was a lot.
"We should stop here. There's a stream not too far off if you're interested in bathing." Xena suggested as she brought her mare to a stop. Amarice nodded and did the same.
"Want me to set up camp?" Amarice asked as she tied her mare to one of the nearby trees. She wasn't as well trained as Argo, but she was fast and Amarice didn't plan on losing her.
"No, I'll do it. Can you cook?" Xena looked over at her companion, who now had a strange expression on her face.
"Yeah, but it falls a little short of a five star tavern." the young Amazon told her sarcastically as she pulled her bedroll off her horse.
"That's fine. I'll set up camp and catch dinner. You just cook it." Before Amarice could object, Xena disappeared into the wooded area around her.
The Amazon sighed as she took a seat on the ground and laid out her bedroll. Moments of boredom ticked by for her as she tried to think of what she could do. Unable to come up with anything else, she pulled out her sword and a whetstone. As she methodically sharpened her weapon, her thoughts began to leave her mind.
"Careful. Don't want to sharpen the blade so much that it's no use to you." Xena's voice broke Amarice out of her trance. She wasn't aware of how much time had gone by but judging by the look of the neatly set up camp, it had been awhile. After glancing down at her sword, she nodded.
"Good point." she conceded as she sheathed her sword and put away the whetstone. Xena said nothing in reply as she gathered firewood and arranged it in the middle of the camp. 'I still don't understand why she agreed to let me come if she won't let me do anything to help out.' Amarice thought as she watched Xena start the fire. 'Maybe she's just used to having to take care of Gabrielle.'
"Here. You can get started on this." Xena interrupted her thoughts by throwing a fish at her. Acting on instinct, Amarice brought her hand up and caught it.
"Thanks." she said sarcastically before pulling out a dagger and getting to work on gutting the fish.
"Nice catch." Xena mumbled. She liked it more when the fish hit the person she was throwing it at. Yet another difference between Gabrielle and her current traveling companion. With nothing else left to do, she continued to pull her bedroll off of Argo.
A few hours later, Xena was lost in thought as she stared into the flames of their fire. She was taken back to another campfire, when she made a promise to Gabrielle that she wasn't sure she could keep.
"You miss her a lot, don't you?" the younger woman asked. Xena looked to her side, where she found Amarice sitting next to her. Unable to stop herself from shooting an icy glare at the Amazon, the warrior got to her feet. She wasn't angry with Amarice; more at herself for letting Gabrielle go.
"I'll be back later." was all she said before heading off on her own, leaving Amarice alone by the fire; wondering just what she had said to set the other warrior off.
Xena came to a spot far off from the campsite where she was sure Amarice wouldn't find her for awhile. She sighed before taking a seat on the cool ground. From where she was, she could look up and see the night sky, filled with stars. She immediately began to wonder if Gabrielle was looking up at them as well.
'She's probably too busy fawning over her precious Perdicas.' she thought angrily as her eyes rested on a star cluster that they had always fought over. "It's definitely a dipper." she muttered before standing up and heading back to the camp where Amarice was waiting.
"See that one, sweetie? That's a bear." Gabrielle cooed into her daughter's ear as she pointed out the cluster of stars she found from the porch. Nexa giggled before grabbing onto the blonde hair dangling in her face. "Let go of mommy's hair, honey." Gabrielle said gently as she wrapped her hand around Nexa's tiny one and undid the small digits from her golden locks. The former bard smiled down at her daughter, whose blonde hair was just beginning to grow out more. "How would you like to help mommy clean up the kitchen?" she asked before walking back into the house.
Gabrielle smiled as she entered the kitchen, a rare occurrence for her now that she was married to Perdicas. The kitchen was the one of the only two spots she was comfortable in, since her husband never came in it. He believed it was beneath him. The other sanctuary she held dearly was the nursery. There was something about Nexa that kept Perdicas away from that room, but Gabrielle didn't know what it was.
'I don't care, either; as long as it keeps him far away from her.' she thought as she carefully set her daughter down on the floor. Grabbing a rag from the counter, she began to wipe down the table. She had just finished cleaning the plates and cups when she went stargazing with her daughter. A sigh escaped from the small woman. Did Xena still look up at the stars at night? A feeling akin to hurt flooded through her chest at the thought of Xena enjoying the night sky without her; or worse yet, with someone else.
The thought of Xena being with someone else other than her made Gabrielle's heartache. She wanted to be the one that made the warrior happy. She wanted to be the one that argued with her every night over the star formations. She wanted to be the one that held her when the nightmares came at night.
'That's a bit selfish, don't you think?' she mentally berated herself, scrubbing down harder on the table than necessary. "Besides... I'm the one that was stupid enough to think Perdicas really needed me. I'm the one that was stupid enough to marry him... and I was the one stupid enough to leave her behind!" With every word, the scrubbing had gradually become harder until Gabrielle couldn't control her anger anymore. "Argh!"
A large crash echoed through the kitchen as pots and pans fell to the floor. The rag Gabrielle had thrown rested next to the pile of kitchenware. There was a moment of silence before Nexa began crying, frightened by the loud noises.
"Oh! I'm sorry sweetie." Gabrielle apologized before walking over to her crying daughter. "Mommy's sorry, Nexa." she cooed as she bent down and picked the child up. "Shh... It's alright. Mommy won't do it ever again..." she promised as she kissed the top of the child's head in an attempt to comfort her. Nexa's cries began to die down at the familiar presence of her mother and soon Gabrielle had a dozing child in her arms. "Good girl, Nexa." she said softly before leaving the kitchen and heading for the nursery.
Gabrielle gently laid Nexa in the crib Perdicas had made for her. It was a gift Perdicas had made after the first real beating. It was his way of apologizing, the bard guessed. She stroked the soft hair on her daughter's head before placing Lammy next to her.
"Sweet dreams." Gabrielle kissed her fingertips and placed them on her daughter's forehead before turning to leave the room. She needed to get the kitchen cleaned back up before her husband returned from the elder's home. Even if he didn't go into the kitchen very often, he still hated a mess.
"Gabrielle, why is there a pile of kitchenware on our floor?" Gabrielle's heart sank at the sound of Perdicas' voice.
'Too late...' she thought as a feeling of dread shot through her entire body. He wasn't supposed to be home yet. She was supposed to have more time to clean. Why was he home so early?
"Gabrielle," he called out, "come here." Gabrielle gulped before slowly making her way to the kitchen. When she walked in the doorway, however, she didn't see anyone. She was just about to call out Perdicas' name when a hand grabbed her by the hair and yanked her back. "What happened?" her husband snarled into her ear.
"I... I'm sorry! I was going to clean it up before you got home." Before Gabrielle could finish explaining, she was pushed away from Perdicas' body and into the table. Her stomach hit the hard tabletop, knocking the wind out of her. As she tried to catch her breath, Perdicas approached and knocked her to the ground amongst the pots and pans.
"I didn't ask when you were going to clean it up! I asked what happened!" he growled as he picked one of the pans up. "Now tell me!" he ordered her before throwing the pan at her. Gabrielle brought her arms up just in time to protect her head from the metal object.
"It was an accident, Perdicas. I swear!" she told him as she bit back the tears. She had made a decision not to cry in front of him a long time ago. A kick to her side almost broke her resolve.
"The only time you have accidents, Gabrielle," he said, a hint of disgust in his voice when he said her name, "is when you're thinking of her!" There was another kick to her side, knocking the wind out of her once more.
"I wasn't thinking of her, I swear!" Gabrielle shrieked as she tried to curl herself up into a protective ball.
"Liar!" he roared before grabbing her by the hair again and pulling her back to her feet. "I told you to never lie to me. Yet, you do it on a daily basis!" he screamed at her. Despite the fact that she didn't want to show her fear, Gabrielle's body shook slightly at his voice. From what seemed a far off distance, she could hear the cries of their daughter from the Nursery.
"I'm sorry..." she said quietly, immediately regretting it when he pulled harder on her hair.
"I wasn't finished." he hissed at her before turning her around. A moment of silence ticked by and all that could be heard was the sound of Nexa's cries. "I don't ask much of you, do I Gabrielle?" he asked softly, using his free hand to tip the blonde's head up to face him. The former bard noted that he now looked at her with a gentle light in his eyes but she knew that the wrong answer would make it go out. So, she simply stayed quiet. "All I ask is that you love me; that you take care of the house while I'm gone." he said quietly. "And yet, you fight me every step of the way."
"Don't you love me, Gabrielle?" he asked. Without a moment's hesitation, Gabrielle nodded her head vehemently. There was no way she was going to say no to this monster. "Then why can't you listen to me? You've already ruined the good news I was going to tell you."
"And what is that, Perdicas?" she asked quietly, afraid to speak any louder. Inside she was laughing at herself. A bard, afraid to speak. 'The Gods certainly are laughing at me.' she thought bitterly.
"I've been able to secure the position as one of the town's councilmen. Aren't you happy?"
'Ecstatic.' Gabrielle thought sarcastically. On the outside, however, she smiled as sweetly as she could and nodded. "That's... that's wonderful, Perdicas." she told him, trying hard not to grit her teeth in pain.
"I thought you would like that news." he told her with a smile before bending to capture her lips with his own. It took every ounce of self control that Gabrielle had to stop herself from gagging. "Now then, clean this mess up in here and go take care of Nexa." he told her once he broke the kiss. "Then, we can properly celebrate once you come to bed." he suggested with a smile more sinister than the last before leaving her to do as she was told.
Gabrielle sighed before painfully bending down to pick up the kitchenware. Each movement sent agony shooting through her body, but she knew she needed to hurry, or else Perdicas would come back sooner than she wanted him to. Not for the first time, Gabrielle wondered if living was really worth it. She couldn't stand not knowing what would set him off. Living in fear of her own actions wasn't any way to live.
'Why can't I stand up to him?' she thought sadly as she stared at the last pan. The cries coming from the nursery reminded her. Gabrielle would not stand up to the man while Nexa was there. That would put her daughter in danger; and that was something she refused to do. Maybe if her daughter was older...
"Mommy's coming, Nexa." she whispered as she hung the pan back where it was meant to be before heading back to the nursery.
"Is my little warrior scared?" Gabrielle asked as she gently picked the little girl up. It made her arms hurt to lift the bundle, but when she looked into Nexa's eyes, she forgot the pain. "Don't worry. Everything's alright now." she assured the baby as she pulled her up to her shoulder. "We won't bother you anymore." she said gently as the tears that she had held in check earlier began to fall.
She didn't want to do it. She didn't want to go into her room, where Perdicas lay waiting for her. She didn't want to subject her already aching body to her husband's raging libido.
Gabrielle looked into her daughter's eyes and remembered why she had to do it, even if she didn't want to.
"Mommy will always protect you, Nexa." she cooed into her daughter's ear as the child's eyelids began to droop. "Sweet dreams for real this time, my little warrior." she said before laying her daughter back in the crib and tucking her in again.
After wiping her tears on the back of her hand, Gabrielle began to regain her composure. A few sniffles later, she was ready to face her husband once more. Not wanting to make him even angrier by taking too long, she left the nursery and walked down the hall to where Perdicas waited for her in their bedroom.
'Why didn't I say no?' Gabrielle thought as she walked into the dark room, the door closing behind her.
Hours later, Gabrielle lay in her bed next to her sated husband. As for herself, she was aching everywhere. Even in bed, the man was violent. It wasn't like their first time, when Nexa was conceived. The former bard sighed and shut her eyes, conjuring a picture of her beautiful daughter in her mind.
'I'll protect you, no matter what.' she thought. The image began to change in her mind, however. The next thing she knew, Gabrielle was looking at an image of Xena. 'Oh Xena... why didn't you say anything to stop me from marrying him? Why didn't you tell me you needed me more than he did?' she thought sadly before finally drifting off to sleep.