~ Differing Shades of Grey ~
by Hillsys Stalker

Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, Gabrielle, Amarice, Cyrene, Aphrodite, or Ares. I do, however, own Nexa and Rosaline. Do not steal them or use without permission.
Content Warning: The language isn't too bad, but there is a lot of violence. It is mainly spousal abuse. If this makes you uncomfortable, please skip over this story. There is also love between two women. If this bothers you, no one's forcing you to read this. You may skip over it.


Part 4

Gabrielle tried to tell herself that she wasn't an idiot for trying to go to someone for help. She tried to tell herself that she couldn't have known Perdicas was friends with almost everyone in town, including the judge.

'You moron. Of course he's friends with everyone. He is one of the council members, after all.' she mentally chastised herself, her jaw too sore to scold herself out loud. Perdicas had lost his temper and forgotten his rule about not striking her in the face.

'What does it matter? Nobody knows who I am.' she thought bitterly as she laid on the floor. She could hear Nexa calling out for her from her crib, but she hurt too much to move. Besides; her face was a mess and would probably scare the child even more rather than make anything better. She could tell just by how her face felt that her nose was broken; the blood trickling into her mouth told her that much. She guessed that the right side of her face was bruised as well. She couldn't see out of her left eye, either. 'I must look awful.'

The constant pain continued to bring up images of Perdicas' assault, over and over again.

She was putting Nexa to bed for her afternoon nap when she heard the door open. Thinking it was the authorities coming to wait for Perdicas, she stayed with her daughter.

'So much for the nap.' she thought when she heard the door slam. She watched as Nexa's sleepy blue eyes opened and twinkled up at her. So used to the safety she felt when she was with her daughter, the door slamming didn't send her into alert mode until it was too late. She spun on her heels just in time to see a fist collide with her face.

Gabrielle was floored by the force of the blow. She had to fight to stay conscious as the darkness threatened to overtake her sight. She was sure that if she blacked out, Perdicas wouldn't give her the chance to wake up ever again. She found that thought comforting for one horrifying moment, but an image of her daughter flashed through her mind before she could surrender to oblivion. The thought of her daughter at the mercy of that monster rekindled her resolve to stay alive.

Gabrielle slowly shook herself from the daze she was in and tried to get back to her feet. She got as far as her knees when Perdicas kicked her back down, knocking the wind out of her. As she tried to regain her breath, Perdicas dropped to all fours over her body.

"You just had to tell, didn't you?" he spat at her. "You had to try and ruin a good thing." Gabrielle barely had time to register the fact that Perdicas' open palm was coming toward her when he hit her across the face. She could taste the blood pooling in her mouth as her head whipped to the side.

"It didn't work though, did it?" he taunted her as she brought her gaze back to him. The furious look in his eyes reminded her of the look he gave her the last time she had seen Xena. Recognizing the look, she pushed against his chest in an attempt to get him off. He was stronger, though, and simply grabbed her by the wrists. Gabrielle couldn't stop herself from crying out when he squeezed them tightly.

"Careful, Gabrielle. You wouldn't want to make me angry." He told her with a sinister smile. The way he said the words made Gabrielle's blood run cold. For a moment, she thought she felt her heart stop beating. Then, the heavy pounding in her chest convinced her otherwise. Not wanting to make him even angrier, she made her entire body go limp.

"That's better." He smirked down at her as he released her wrists and stood up. Gabrielle mentally sighed with relief but the feeling was cut short by the solid kick to her side. "Don't. You. Ever. Try. That. Again!" he screamed at her, punctuating each word with a kick. Unable to stop herself, Gabrielle's tears leaked from her closed eyes as she sobbed quietly. "Stop that crying." Perdicus sneered as he started to kick her again. Gabrielle pulled herself into a tight ball, trying to fend off the blows in the only way she knew how.

Trying to block out the pain, Gabrielle receded into her mind. She stopped thinking and the screams of her husband and daughter were reduced to mere muffles. She was so lost in herself, she didn't even notice when the attack ended. It took the sound Perdicas yelling at a crying Nexa to pull her back out of her trance.

"Shut up, you little brat, or I'll make you shut up!" he yelled at the child, only succeeding in making her cry more. Gabrielle's eyes darkened as she recognized the threat in his words.

"You will never... ever... lay a hand on her... or I'll rip what ever heart you have out." she threatened him in a shaky voice.

"I'm sure you will." Perdicas sneered at her; but he left the room, not bothering to act on his threat to Nexa. Gabrielle sighed. She knew she had been telling the truth. She would do anything to keep her poor excuse of a husband from hurting her daughter, even if the cost was her blood innocence.

"Mama?" Nexa called out in a watery voice from the crib. Gabrielle pulled herself out of her painful memories and looked up at her daughter, who was peering over the edge of her crib. "Mama get a booboo?" Gabrielle nodded in response.

"Yes, Mama got a big booboo." she replied as she tried to sit up. She didn't want to move, but she knew she had to; if only to make her way to the healer. Gabrielle pulled herself to her feet, only to double over in pain and reach out for one of the bars on the crib. She was sure she felt something move in her side. 'Great...' she thought sarcastically as her hand tightened around the wooden pole. She looked over at her daughter and tried to show her that she was alright with a smile. She was positive that it came out as a grimace.

"Nexa, sweetie... Would you like to go for a walk with Mama?" she asked as sweetly as she could through the pain. Nexa nodded vehemently. Gabrielle smiled for real this time and carefully reached an arm into the crib to pick her daughter up. "No! No! No!" Nexa shouted defiantly.

"Nexa, Mama needs to get you out of there if you want to come with her." she said patiently.

"I do it. Please?" Nexa insisted. Gabrielle sighed and nodded her head. She was rewarded with a bright smile before Nexa began her task of climbing out of the crib. "I guess you don't need that crib anymore." she mused as she watched her daughter climb over the bar. Despite the pain, she reached an arm out to place on Nexa's side to keep the girl from falling.

"No. I big girl now." Nexa grinned up at her once she reached the floor. Gabrielle smiled softly and nodded.

"That you are, my big warrior."

"I get big bed now?" The former bard painfully laughed at her daughter's question.

"We'll see, sweetie." Gabrielle promised her daughter. Nexa squealed in delight and wrapped her small arms around her mother's legs, pressing up against the bruises. Gabrielle hissed in pain before looking down at her child. "Ow. Don't hug Mama right now, okay sweetie?" she told her daughter.

"I Sowwy." Nexa apologized with a sad look on her face as she backed away from her Mama. "When booboos go away?" she asked with a hopeful expression. Gabrielle nodded a promise as she stuck her free hand out; the other arm was wrapped around her middle in an effort to ease the pain. "Yay!" Nexa squealed triumphantly while she took her mother's hand.

Gabrielle led her daughter out of the house and ignored the stares thrown her way. She imagined that she must look dreadful as she limped through the streets to the healer's home, daughter in tow. She didn't care. If she was going to protect her daughter, she needed help.

"Excuse me... is anybody here?" Gabrielle called out when she walked into the home of the healer.

"I'll be with you in just a moment." a woman's voice called from the back. For a moment, Gabrielle was taken back to her time with Xena. Her friend had been an excellent healer, even managing to bring her back moments after she died in a civil war between Thessaly and Mitoa. "Oh dear! What happened?" The voice pulled Gabrielle from her longing memories and back to the real world. There she found a young woman with wavy, brown hair that fell to her shoulders. It was a large contrast to the white and gold robes she wore.

"I..." Gabrielle didn't know what to say. There was a chance that Perdicas was friends with the healer and there was no way she wanted to live through that day's beating ever again. "I can't say." she muttered before looking down at the floor. "Can you still help me?" she asked in a quiet, childlike voice.

The healer's heart went out to the young woman in front of her. She hadn't been a healer for very long, but she knew now what had happened. She had seen other women like this, unable to tell about what was happening to them inside their own homes, either from shame, lack of courage, or both. So, she decided not to pry... for the moment.

"Of course I can. My name's Rosaline." The healer smiled gently at the young woman before looking to the small child next to her. "And who are you?" she asked in a curious voice, bending at her knees to get a better look at her.

"Nexa." the girl said boldly, taking a step forward in front of her mother in a protective manner. Rosaline grinned at the child and stuck her hand out. Nexa stared at it for a moment before taking it.

"Nice to meet you, Nexa." she said sincerely before releasing the girl's hand and standing back up. "If you wish, she can come in with us or wait with one of my apprentices while we go to the back." Rosaline watched as the blonde woman seemed to go through an inner battle.

In her mind, Gabrielle was trying to make a decision. She didn't want to leave her daughter somewhere she couldn't protect her. On the other hand, she didn't want Nexa to see what Perdicas had done to her. True, the child was still too young to remember anything she saw now, but there was something inside Gabrielle that made her feel like the toddler shouldn't see the horrors of the world just yet.

"If it isn't too much trouble, could she stay with one of your apprentices?" she asked, finally coming to a decision. She would be sure to ask the healer to keep the door opened slightly so she could keep an eye on Nexa.

"It would be no trouble at all. Alexia, would you mind staying with Nexa while I go take care of," she looked at the young woman expectantly for an answer she didn't receive, "our newest arrival?" A woman that looked slightly older than Rosaline came over and nodded before taking Nexa's hand and leading her away from her mother. "Now then, shall we go take a look at you?"

Rosaline led the blonde woman into the backroom, leaving the door slightly ajar at the younger woman's request, and had her sit down on a low pallet. She noticed the patient wince as she complied and the healer began to realize just how serious the injuries were.

"Before we get to the other injuries, I want to take a look at those ribs of yours. Would you like me to help you get out of those clothes?" she asked, nodding toward the blonde.

Gabrielle looked down at her apparel and for the first time, she felt embarrassed. They weren't the impressive robes that the healer was wearing. Instead, it was a grey skirt with a blue-grey blouse. The garments had obviously seen better days. Trying to forget her embarrassment, she nodded. Rosaline smiled the same gentle way that she had when they first met and began helping her patient undress.

"You know, I usually don't let people take my clothes off when we've just met." Gabrielle joked as she tried to take her mind off of the fact that she was about to show her body to a complete stranger. She heard the healer chuckle.

"I see you've managed to hang onto your sense of humor, despite your injuries." she complimented the blonde as she let the blouse fall to the ground. Almost immediately, her patient's arms painfully went up to her chest. 'Someone's modest.' the healer thought with an inward smirk before taking in what she had to work with. She didn't quite expect what she found.

Bruises, old and new, littered the young woman's torso. It looked as if someone had painted her blue, purple, and yellow. Rosaline felt her heart ache for the pain this woman was obviously going through. Putting her emotions aside, the healer went to work on fixing the blonde up as best she could.

"That should do it. If you ever need help again, I'll be here." Rosaline promised as she helped her patient get dressed again. "I recommend getting as much rest as possible and not straining yourself too much when you aren't resting. Come back in two weeks so I can check those ribs out again." The young woman looked at her with such an expression of gratitude that Rosaline wondered why anyone would ever do something to intentionally hurt the girl. "By the way, I never got your name. May I have it, please?" The blonde seemed to think this over for a moment before answering.

"It's Gabrielle." she said. "Thank you so much, for everything."

"Anytime." Rosaline assured her. "And remember, feel free to stop by whenever you want to, Gabrielle." she called after the retreating woman. The blonde looked back and smiled at her, although the swelled up eye seemed to take something from the smile. Gabrielle hadn't let her wrap it, and now Rosaline could see why. If she was in the predicament that the healer thought she was in, the young woman wouldn't want to raise any suspicions about where she had been. The young healer sighed and shook her head once the mother and child left. She had a feeling she would be getting to know the young woman throughout the future.

Her guess turned out to be right and over the next month, she got to know Gabrielle a bit more. She was even able to get the blonde woman to confirm her suspicions. She had to promise not to tell anyone, however, and as much as it hurt her to do so, she kept that promise. All she could do was be there for her new friend.

"Xena, look out!" Amarice called out to her partner. The dark-haired woman flipped backward over her attacker, glad to have Amarice's warning. The man didn't realize she had moved until it was too late and his sword, aimed for the lower part of her back, found itself in his comrade's gut. Stunned at what he had done, he let go of his sword and watched the man fall to the ground. Taking advantage of the distraction, Xena slammed the hilt of her sword into the side of her attacker's head, rendering him unconscious.

The two warriors somehow ended up back-to-back, Amarice using her two short swords and Xena using her long one. They had found that they were a great fighting team and a force to be reckoned with over the past year. Amarice was someone she could depend on to hold her own and Xena didn't have to look out for her like she did Gabrielle. She was happy about that, but at the same time, it made her sad. She had always enjoyed looking out for the young girl. It gave her a sense of purpose.

As they fought back-to-back, Amarice was wrapped up in her own thoughts while keeping half her attention on the enemies. They weren't great fighters, but they were enough to provide a workout. Not that she didn't get enough of a workout, trying to figure out Xena. Over the past year, they had become better friends, but there was something holding Xena back from fully opening up to her. But then again, there was something alluring about that part of her that wouldn't open up. Amarice wouldn't mind if Xena shared that part of her with her, but she wasn't going to pry to get the information out of her. Everyone has their secrets.

'Including me.' she thought with a scowl as she kicked another man away from her and brought her crossed swords up to stop a mace from crashing into her head. She pulled the weapon out of the man's hands with her own weapons, causing it to fly back and hit another raider in the chest. She then shoved her right sword through the man's shoulder and pulled it out again as he fell to the ground in pain. Her thoughts returned to the first day she had met Xena. 'Amarice the Amazon... what a joke.' she thought ruefully as she knocked another attacker into oblivion with a solid kick to her head.

It was soon apparent that they had finished off the last of the raiders and any that they hadn't killed or knocked unconscious were fleeing for the hills.

"You're beginning to improve." Xena told the girl as she sheathed her sword. Amarice sheathed her own weapons and looked at Xena with a somewhat proud expression.

"You really think so?" she asked. Xena nodded and Amarice smiled. "Good. You know, you weren't so bad yourself." she complimented the warrior. Xena just shrugged it off and went over to Argo and Ice, Amarice's new grey stallion. Xena thought purchasing a male steed was a step in the right direction for Amarice.

'His name suits him.' Xena thought as she grabbed the reins of her own faithful companion and began to walk through the small village. Amarice followed after her, the stallion behind the young Amazon. They were headed for a farm on the outskirts of the town. They had been helping there for supplies, since Xena never asked for anything in return for protecting them. Being nowhere near as good a story teller as Gabrielle, Amarice couldn't pull in Dinars as a bard, either. So, they helped work the land and sold any weapons they procured from those they brought down. They didn't have a wonderful living, but they got along well enough.

It was later that night, as they were laying down to sleep in opposite beds, when thoughts began to assault the two of them. Xena thinking of Gabrielle and Amarice thinking about Xena. One was thinking of a friendship she had lost, the other, one she had gained. Amarice just wished Xena could see her as a true friend, or, at least, an acquaintance, instead of a replacement. The young woman sighed and rolled over, looking at the wall so she didn't have to see the warrior's back turned to her. Just like always.


Continued...



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