~ Whisper ~
by Ice


Disclaimers: Xena and Gabrielle belong to MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. Contains explicit descriptions of sexual encounters between two women, language with some may find objectionable, and some violence and "hurt/comfort" stuff.

A heartfelt 'thank you' to my beta reader, Apollo, for her patience, guidance, and encouragement...not to mention her time.


"How many?," my young bard, her patience beginning to wane, asked me for the third time and I felt the lump emerge in my throat as I continued to sift through the overstuffed saddlebag in search of the precious items. Beads of sweat began to form on my forehead and I tried to pretend I didn't see the toe of my companion's boot tapping against the ground as she hovered over me, glaring down, her left hand poised on her hip. "Xennnnaaaaa," she grumbled through a distinct frown.

"Two, okay?! The gods! It's not like I lost them on purpose!," I snapped in my frustration, secretly kicking myself for being so careless.

"You lost my scrolls?!," she screeched loudly and a sheepish grin fought for control of my lips when I caught a glimpse of her expression, her face flaming red. So angry. So intense. Yet so damned adorable. Huffing and stomping beneath the trees lining the edge of the forest, she paced back and forth in a near delirious state, her mind whirling as she tried to devise a plan to track down the missing manuscripts.

Slowly I stood and, as though I feared the ground might crumble beneath my strides, moved in the direction of the now distraught woman. "Gabrielle?" Cautiously, I inched my way closer. "Gabrielle?," I repeated and placed a timid hand on her shoulder, stilling her with an affectionate but firm grip. My heart fluttered when I saw her tear-stained cheeks and I didn't know what to say. I just stood there, staring at her, waiting for the words to come. Just as I was prepared to hang my head in shame and walk away, a crooked smile appeared on her face. "Ya big ox," she muttered, her hand smacking against my bare shoulder, and I couldn't help but laugh. Sinking her fingertips into my flesh with a slight squeeze, she smiled at me before averting her eyes toward the treetops. "I'm sorry I lost your scrolls," I heard myself say as she reached down to the retrieve the saddlebag from the dust and began to walk ahead...and something began to swell inside of me. Beneath the armor and the leather, I could feel my chest tighten and I was powerless to stop the words from escaping in a whisper. "I love you, Gabrielle."

I nearly fell flat on my face, tripping over my own feet when she stalled in her tracks and turned to face me, the setting sun shimmering on her golden hair as she looked back at me over her shoulder. "What?," she asked and I said a silent prayer of thanks for the sound of the rustling forest which had so graciously prevented her from hearing the words. "Noth...nothing," I called out and mounted my horse, biting my tongue as I stepped up my pace and followed behind.

Darkness came quickly and we set up camp next to the stream. Our stomachs full of fresh trout and bread, we settled into our nightly rituals; she, working diligently on her latest story while I honed my blade to perfection. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that she was losing the battle with her drooping eyelids and before long she was slumped over her scroll, lost in slumber. I watched her for a moment, studying the peaceful expression on her face and, unable to resist the temptation, I reached out to touch her. Watching my hand drift through her hair and across her cheek, the familiar words surfaced yet again and I whispered them in her ear before I lifted her up and carried her toward the bedroll next to the crackling fire.

In the middle of the night, the hard rain that poured down on us like daggers falling from the murky sky caught us both off guard. "Xeeennaaaaa," she groaned, still half asleep as she struggled to break free from her soggy bedroll.

"What?" I shrugged my shoulders and chuckled nervously.

"You always know when it's going to rain. Always! A sixth sense I believe you called it? Well, warrior woman...." Distinctly annoyed, she moved in my direction, fighting her way through the sheets of rain. "Where's your sixth sense now?!," she snarled, perched on the tips of her toes so she could look me in the eyes.

The rain pounding down, dripping off the end of her nose, I reached out and pulled her close. I felt her arms tighten around my waist and her warm breath against the tops of my breasts as she let herself sink into the embrace...if only for a moment. Her lips parted and brushed lightly against my cleavage before, obviously flustered, she pulled away to begin the task of gathering our now soaked belongings. Snatching the bedrolls from the sea of mud, she grumbled under her breath and I, unable to move, leaned back against the nearest tree, certain that my legs were going to fail me, trying in vain to squelch the inferno raging beneath the surface of my skin.

"Are you coming or not?!" Her sharp inquiry brought me back and I shook my head in an effort to gather my bearings. Our boots sank into the mud with every step as we trudged toward the nearby cave, Argo in tow. Once inside, I quickly crafted a couple of torches while she gathered the dry kindling some benevolent traveler had left behind near the entryway. With the campfire ignited and Gabrielle safely cozied up next to it, I lit one of the torches and took the liberty of inspecting the surrounding corridors.

The cave was eerily peaceful, the sound of the rain outside resonating off the granite walls. Walking at a leisurely pace, my boots clicking against the rock beneath them, I let my mind lapse into fantasy. Alone with her in my mind, sight swiftly turned to touch. Touch to passion. And passion to.... "Xeeennaaaaa!! Ewww! Yuck! What in the name of.... Xena! Xeeeennaaa!"

In an instant, I was by her side. "Ga...Gabrielle, what is it?" I grabbed hold of her shoulders and instinctively began to scan her body for signs of injury. Her eyes wide open, she stood with her back against the wall, looking as though she had just swallowed a handful of sheep dung. "Gabrielle? What's wrong?," I repeated.

"Xena...." She gritted her teeth and gestured toward the bedrolls with her eyes. "Get rid of it," she ordered.

Retrieving my sword from my back, I moved slowly toward the pile of blankets. "What is it, Gabrielle?," I whispered, having no clue what I was about to encounter.

"It's...it's...it's huuuge," she mumbled and shivered in what appeared to be sheer disgust.

Sifting through the bedrolls with the tip of my blade, my eyes zoned in on the source of the sudden motion beneath the corner of Gabrielle's blanket. Upon identifying the culprit, I dropped my sword, picked the furry intruder up by the tail, and turned to face her. "This? Gabrielle, a mouse?" I moved closer to her, trying not to laugh when she flinched and backed away.

"Wellll, Xena, you know I can't stand...critters. Especially in my bed!"

I rolled my eyes and shuffled outside in the rain, releasing the unwelcome visitor before returning to find her engaged in a thorough inspection of the bedrolls. Mumbling and tossing the blankets from side to side, she deliberately avoided making eye contact with me. Unable to resist, I paced around her, circling her, trying in vain to force her eyes to my own. Finally, she stood and faced me, her body rigid, the lines on her face hardening when she announced, "I am not a wimp! And stop making fun of me!"

"Oh, Gabrielle, lighten up. I never said you were a wimp and I'm not making fun of you. It's just that...just that...when I heard you scream, I thought.... Tartarus, Gabrielle, you scared me!" Realizing what I had just said, I clammed up and turned my back, afraid I had inadvertently disclosed the thing I was trying so adamantly to hide. Namely, the truth.

"I scared you? Really?" Her voice came from behind me and turned my heart to mush.

"I just meant that.... What I meant to say was...." Her hand wrapped around my wrist and, with a gentle tug, she forced me to face her. "I...I...I...." I was a babbling idiot. She placed her hands on my cheeks and pulled me near, smiling when she kissed me. Not full on the mouth, but close enough, her lips catching the corner mine. Dumbfounded, I watched her saunter away and settle into her bedroll. "I love you, Gabrielle," I mumbled, much too softly for her to hear.

* * *

Careful not to wake her, I slipped out of my bedroll and headed down the narrow tunnel. Though I had tried to ignore my craving, it had proven itself more powerful than my will and what was intended to be a moment of hasty release quietly transformed itself as her image took control of my mind. Her body. Her smile. The sound of her voice. Blond wisps gently falling around dancing green eyes. Drowning in my own desire, her essence coursing through my veins, I sensed her presence and I knew she was watching...and I let her watch while, there in the darkness I made love to myself, imagining that my own touch was hers.

My hands were shaking as I peeled off my leathers and I admit that I hesitated, questioning what I was about to do...and I realized that, even in my aroused state, I was afraid. Afraid of being so honest, so vulnerable. Afraid of letting her see my need and, worse, my inability to subdue it. Yet I did just that. I felt her eyes moving over my naked body, scalding my flesh, and still I moved forward in my quest.

Dropping to my knees, I looked down on my own body and for the first time ever, I saw myself. The dips and curves. The smooth flesh and the coarse. The fine down covering the tops of my thighs. I looked down at my hands, watching them drift over my breasts, stroking the smooth skin until my nipples began to ache for more attention...which I eagerly administered. I needed this and I knew she was watching, witnessing my need as I pressed the palms of my hands against my trembling thighs, massaging the muscles, my hips rocking back and forth in anticipation of the touch that would soon follow.

Wanting her to see, I moved my legs further apart and arched my back, raising my eyes to the stone ceiling above, closing them when my fingers began their exploration. Slowly at first. Teasing, torturous pleasure. I don't know why...maybe it was the thought of her kneeling behind the nearby rock...watching...but I found myself wanting to know. Needing to know...and, raising my fingers to my mouth, placing them inside one at a time, I gave in to my curiosity and tasted the wet essence of my hunger over and over again until my own scent mingled with hers. Praying to the gods that she would come to me and let me love her the way her scent confirmed that she was loving herself...alone behind the rock only a few paces away.

My eyes focused on my hand exploring the dark patch of curls and I felt the sounds of my want swelling in the back of my throat as my fingers probed deeper. My breaths coming in quick sharp bursts, the rhythm of my heart thumping in my ears, I reached inside the saddlebag beside me and retrieved the smooth stone. I hadn't intended to allow myself to go this far...hadn't intended to give her this much... but, for some reason, I did. Reclining with my back flat against the cool rock floor, I parted my thighs and my hips elevated as if on their own accord. I wanted her to see. Needed her to see. The oblong stone was hard and cool against me as the tip glided easily against the moist folds. Determined to make myself wait until I couldn't stand to wait any longer, I slowed my pace, alternating between the stone and the palm of my hand. My hips bucking, every fiber in my body begging for relief, I heard myself moaning in fervent agony and the words came in a whisper too low for her to hear. Let me love you, Gabrielle ...just once.

In wild desperation I wrapped my fingers around the stone shaft, plunging it deep inside, and when I did the fragrance of her scent grew more potent and, drunk on it, I surrendered. My head spinning, my hips pumping furiously, I felt her name dance on the tip of my tongue and swallowed hard, allowing only an indistinct groan to escape from my lips. I could hear the muffled cries emerge from behind the rock when she came and, gratified, I gave in to the power of my own climax as it washed over my body in ambrosial waves.

* * *

Early the next morning, rabbit in hand, I returned from my hunt and settled next to the fire while she took to the task of skinning. She said something, though I wasn't sure what, and I half-heartedly mumbled my response. I was so frustrated with myself for being unable to tell her how I was feeling...so frightened of the emotions her presence seemed to conjure that I unwittingly snapped at her when she asked whether or not we would be heading out later that day. Uncertain of myself, yet refusing to show it, I grabbed my sword and traipsed out into the cold. I must have been walking for nearly a candlemark when I saw him up ahead. Riding tall on his horse, his dark hair cascading over his shoulders. Before I knew it, I called his name. Lyennos. We had once fought side by side against the Roman army and, in the process, had fallen in love. Though, looking back on it now, comparing that old feeling to my feelings for her, love probably wasn't the most accurate word for what we had shared. I soon found myself behind him in the saddle and, after far too many mugs of port, following him up the stairs leading to the loft above the tavern. "The gods forgive me, Gabrielle," I heard myself slur in a whisper.

We staggered through the doorway, intoxicated, but fully aware of our both our destination and the purpose behind it. Draping his arms across my tense shoulders, he mumbled something in my ear but I couldn't hear a word he was saying over the clamor of my own thoughts. What in the name of the gods am I doing? I can't let this happen. I can't do this to...but then, what does she care? I can't spend my entire life following some illusion. My dreams of being with her...of ever winning her love...are nothing more than a deceptive figment of my deluded imagination. It's simply not going to happen...no matter how much I want it. Maybe this is exactly what I need. A wake up call. After all, it's only my body. No man has ever had the ability to tame my heart, so where's the harm?

His body jolted against mine when the wooden stick connected with the back of his head, knocking him out cold. A hand reached out and strong fingers latched onto my right earlobe when she began to speak, "Get your crocked butt downstairs," she commanded and gave my ear a yank, sending me stumbling through the doorway.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the handrail to steady myself, I looked up to see her blurred image coming right for me. She was muttering something under her breath and the look on her face was.... Well, she was definitely pissed off. I watched through an intoxicated haze as she struggled to make it down the stairs carrying her staff and her own saddlebag in one hand and my sword and bag in the other.

I must have passed out because, the next thing I knew, we were both back inside the cave next to the campfire. I woke to find her sitting next to me, staring blankly at the fire. "Gabbb...Gab-relle?" Still sloshed, my tongue felt two handspans thick when I spoke. "Gabbb-relle?" Mustering my strength, I crawled across the stone floor on my belly until I reached her side. "Talk ta me. Pleeeease." Her image doubled before my eyes as she reached out and drew me near until my head was resting on her thigh.

"Xena?"

"Whatizit, Gabb-relle?" Though I hadn't intended to, I sighed heavily when she began to stroke my hair.

"Are you happy...traveling with me...day in and day out?," she asked, speaking softly into my ear.

The muscles in my neck refused to cooperate when I tried to raise my head and my cheek slammed against her thigh, sparking a giggle from my companion. "Whaddya mean, am I happy travvvlin' with you? 'M I happy? Travvvlin'? With you? What kinda queshion izthat? 'M I happy with.... A'course I'm happy with tra...travalllll...goin' places with you!" Clumsily, I ran my hand along her shin, bringing it to rest on her knee.

"It's just that.... I don't know.... Lately.... Xena, what were you doing with that man tonight?," she finally managed to ask.

Mustering what I could of my equilibrium, I sat upright and cradled her face between my palms. "Gabb-relle....," I stuttered and then jerked away, crawling frantically to the corner of the cave.

"Xena, what.... Oh. Gods," she groaned when my stomach waged war against me and I tossed my fritters right there on a pile of rocks. And the rest of that evening was, for me, a blur.

* * *

We left the cave the next morning and traveled north, intent on spending a couple of days in Athens. We had both grown weary of being cold and damp and Gabrielle looked so pitiful that I couldn't deny her the comfort of a few nights in a warm bed. When we arrived at the inn, she headed inside to bargain for a room while I tended to getting Argo settled into the stable which, as it happened, I took care of in a hurry. I tried not to be conspicuous about it, but I hated to let her out of my sight for even an instant. After all, Athens wasn't exactly known for its moralistic nature and.... Okay, I admit it; I was becoming a smidgen overprotective. Well...maybe more than a smidgen.

We spent most of the evening in a cramped, noisy (but bearable) tavern, scoffing down oysters and listening to the local bards spin their tales. We laughed a lot and I even managed to be somewhat charming...that is, until my mind flashed back to that night in the cave; the sounds and the smells and the thought of.... Anyway, I wound up nearly choking to death on a mouthful of oysters and we made a spectacle of ourselves; me, hacking and clutching my throat while Gabrielle pounded on my back, squawking, "You're choking! You're choking!"

After the whole ordeal was over, she insisted that we head to the room, but I was so mortified I decided to take a walk rather than risk revealing my embarrassment. The walk cleared my head and I returned to the room expecting to find her fast asleep. Instead, I walked in to see her soaking in a tub of warm water. "Oh good. You're back," she said happily and reached out, sponge in hand. "Would you mind doing my back?"

I guess I was feeling particularly courageous because I refused the sponge and went to work on her back with my bare hands. My mind wandering to the most sensual destinations, I washed and caressed, trying to appear as though I wasn't paying as much attention to her body as I was. She closed her eyes and, much to my surprise and pleasure, took my hands in her own, wrapping herself in my arms. Kneeling behind her, seizing the opportunity to hold her close, I felt my own heart pounding as the rhythm of hers increased. I kept waiting for her to say something...anything. But she never did. The only sound that escaped was a soft moan which she swiftly masked by clearing her throat and pulling away. Abruptly rising to her feet, she grabbed the towel from the side of the tub and wrapped it around her svelte frame, announcing that she was exhausted and was going to bed. Having limited options, I followed suit and sank into a dream that I will never forget.

Gabrielle informed me that she had some shopping to do and that she intended to do it on her own. Hesitant, but having no real choice in the matter, I conceded but asked if she would meet me later for dinner. Later that same evening, tired of waiting, I gulped down the last of my port and tossed a dinar on the table. She was late...very late and I was out of my mind with worry. Making my way down the crowded street, I searched each and every establishment along the way. I was certain something had happened to her. It wasn't like Gabrielle to be so late without sending word. Pushing through the leather-clad droves blocking the entrance, I went inside the last place I would have expected to find her. Yet, there she was, seated alone at a table in the corner. The room was dark and I stumbled over several chairs and a few patrons in my effort to reach her, but at last, I did. "Gabrielle?!," I snapped. "What in Tartarus are you doing here?!"

Even in the dark, I could see her face flush bright red when she mumbled, "I was just...just curious, Xena. I...."

"Gabrielle!," I chimed again. "Do you have any idea what this place is? Are you out of your mind?!"

"Shhh! You're making a scene! Sit down!," she ordered and a hand reached out and yanked me into the chair next to her.

I immediately noticed that her eyes were transfixed on the two women at...on...the table next to ours, but she seemed particularly intrigued by the scantily clad dominatrix who was towering over her...conquest, administering a spanking that made my backside sting. At first, I was jealous...insanely jealous, but then I noticed the expression on my lovely bard's face. Oh she was fascinated all right, but she was also turned on. Sitting there, witnessing as she began to succumb to this most primitive of urges...losing myself in the seductive glint in her eyes, I was compelled to stick around for what happened next.

The dominatrix noticed Gabrielle. How could she not? And apparently she liked what she saw because she abandoned the redhead and blazed a path in our direction. Gabrielle didn't notice, but the woman looked to me for approval before getting too close. Trying to suppress a naughty grin, I gave her a nod and leaned back in my chair. Her long blond hair framing her face, the woman leaned over my companion, her bare breasts dangling freely in front of my young bard's bulging eyes. Letting a gasp escape, Gabrielle looked to me (for what, I wasn't exactly sure) and I smiled obnoxiously, wondering how she was going to handle this.

Taking her hand, the mysterious woman coaxed her to her feet and slowly spun her around until her breasts were pressed firmly against my companion's back. Again she looked to me and I assume she must have seen the pleasure I was deriving from this in my expression because she suddenly appeared to be oddly relaxed. The woman, obviously pleased with Gabrielle's cooperation, placed her hands on the bard's hips, massaging them slowly, and I watched both women's eyes close and their chests rise in unison in response to the deep breaths they simultaneously took in. At an excruciatingly slow pace, the woman's hands drifted to Gabrielle's thighs, raising her skirt slightly, fingertips assiduously molding the flesh they found there, and my bard opened her eyes and looked to me yet again. I studied the expression on her face and, in an instant, I knew she was doing this for my pleasure and, in doing so, she was getting pleasure herself. Silently removing my invisible (but oh-so-reliable) mask, my eyes met hers and I let her see inside my soul. Freeing myself, I allowed her see what I was thinking...what I was feeling...and, without a word, I told her that I was on fire...that I was consumed with desire...and that this desire was for her.

Without warning, the woman grabbed hold of the young bard's hair, abruptly forcing her head to one side. I nearly stood to intervene, but remained in my chair when I heard Gabrielle moan with delight as the woman's mouth descended on her neck. Her hands working their way up her conquest's abdomen, the woman loosened the strings on my companion's top and I knew, at that point, Gabrielle would stop her... but she didn't. Her top slipped, unveiling the captivating sight of her breasts and my eyes devoured the vision. She stared down at me, placing her hands over them, groaning with delectation while the woman continued to feast on her neck. Gripping the bard's earlobe between her teeth, the dominatrix gave her a smack on the backside and I nearly tumbled out of my chair when Gabrielle raised the back of her skirt, baring her shapely ass. Sinking her teeth into the bard's neck, the woman delivered a series of stinging slaps and, with each one, the motion of my companion's hands against her breasts became more urgent. "OhhhthegodsXena," she groaned, wincing when the woman delivered yet another blow to her ass, the pained expression on her face quickly transforming into one of unadulterated ecstasy.

Not knowing what to expect, but unable to stop myself, I stood and moved in her direction, both exhilarated and terrified when she pulled me to her. She was an inferno. Wild-eyed and ravenous. So hot and so in need that her body shuddered and quaked. Her eyes pleading for reprieve. Her mouth begging for mine.

Our first kiss was not at all how I had imagined it would be. The experience was far from the curious and apprehensive one I had envisioned for so long. But what it lacked in innocence, it made up for in passion when she wrapped her right arm around my neck, her left hand still in motion against her breasts, fingers pinching and pulling at the swollen nipples.

The assiduous dominatrix was still working feverishly on her neck when our mouths finally merged. Her tongue passed through my lips and plunged deep inside my mouth and I had to struggle to remain on my feet. The kiss was desperate...wanton...neither of us able to get our fill, and I heard her whisper in my ear. "Touch me, Xena. Here. Now. Godsssplllease just touch me...." And, at that moment, I didn't care who was watching and I didn't care about the woman lapping at the back of my bard's neck. I wanted nothing more than to please her and I was prepared to do anything to make sure I did. Placing a fumbling hand beneath her skirt, I lost my breath when I discovered how wet she was and, though I was trying to bridle my eagerness and take my time, she whispered in my ear again, gritting her teeth when she spoke. "I need you in me. PleeeeasegoddssXena. Plllease understand I...I need this...need you...want you...in me...n..now." And I had no choice but to obey, my breath catching in my throat when I entered her. "Morrrre, Xe...Xenaaa," she hissed in my ear and her hips jolted, pushing me deeper when I slipped a second finger inside.

"MmmyessXenapleeasse...yesss...fasterrr...harrrder...ohgodssXenaaa...morrre...." She was begging and I complied, matching her strokes as her hips thrashed against me, her warm breath singeing my neck as she said my name over and over again. Without thinking, I reached behind her back with my free hand and gave the overzealous dominatrix a shove, sending her on her way...and just as my bard was about to whisper something else in my ear, I abruptly awoke, my hair ringing wet and the blankets covering the bed soaked with sweat.

"Xena?" Gabrielle took a seat on the edge of the bed, swabbing my sticky forehead with a cool cloth. "What's wrong? Are you sick?"

Tongue-tied, I stared up at her, praying to any god that would listen that she couldn't read my mind.

* * *

I had been gone most of the day, securing the supplies we would need for our trip to Amphipolis. We had spent more time in Athens than we had originally planned and, though the repose had been good for us both, I was more than ready to get back on the road. We had planned on heading out that morning but Gabrielle, in her persistent (but oh-so-endearing) badgering, had convinced me to wait until the next day so we could catch a play before we left.

Though I'm not typically one for plays, I actually enjoyed this one. A decent plot, plenty of action, and oh yes...admission was cheap; only four dinars a piece, compared to the usual ten. After the play, we stopped in the tavern for a drink and, overall, I'd say the evening was going along perfectly. I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself, but I was doing my damnedest to win her affection. Tartarus, I even gave her a bouquet of daisies and my heart nearly cracked in two when she responded by asking, "Are you sure you're not sick?" What was I thinking anyway? There was no way someone with a soul as pure as hers would even consider a relationship with someone like me. But I loved her and I believed it far better to love her quietly in my mind and remain by her side than to open my big mouth and lose her forever. Still, every now and then, I would succumb to the urge to tell her, speaking the words in a whisper when I knew there was no way she could hear them.

"Do you want another?," she asked, diverting me from my musings.

I raised my eyes to hers and nodded, watching as she stood and, carrying two empty mugs, made her way toward the bar in pursuit of refills. "We meet again," the low-pitched voice said and its owner plopped down in the chair next to mine.

"Hello, Lyennos," I mumbled through a yawn, not at all pleased to see his smirking face.

"About the other night....," he began, interrupted when Gabrielle slammed two mugs down in front of him, port sloshing over the rims and onto the table.

Zoning in on her expression, I nearly cried in the wake of what I found there. I didn't know what was happening...didn't understand the source of the pain in her eyes...but I knew I had to follow her. And I did follow her. Leaving Lyennos alone at the table with his mouth hanging open, I bolted up the staircase and down the corridor leading to our room. Fidgeting with the uncooperative latch on the door, it didn't take me long to realize it was bolted. "Gabrielle? Gabrielle? Come on. Let me in." No response. "Gabrielle, open the door. What's going on? What's wrong? Gabrielle!" Still nothing. "Gabrielle...." I paused for a deep breath and tried to sound as patient as possible. ".....if you don't open the door, I'm going to open it myself." And still, there was no reply.

"If that's the way she wants it," I growled under my breath and stepped back, poised to kick the door off the hinges. Just as the heel of my boot was about to connect with the wooden barrier, the door flew open and I ended up tumbling across the threshold. What a sight I must have been, barreling across the room, my limbs out of control, flailing all over the place while I grumbled a series of obscenities that sent Gabrielle into a hopeless eruption of laughter.

"Xena....," she sniggered. "....I wish you could have seen yourself. Rolling across the floor like a...," she cackled, her laughter overpowering her.

"#@!!!*&#!!!," I replied, rising to my feet in an attempt to regain my warrior-esque composure.

Then, as though she had just been stabbed through the heart, the pained expression returned to her face and she turned her back to me. "Gabrielle?" I moved toward her, placing my hand on her shoulder, retreating when she recoiled at my touch. "Gabrielle, please. Talk to me," I pleaded, beginning to feel her pain as though it were my own.

"Who is he, Xena?," she asked, her voice shaking as she tried in vain to ward off the tears now streaming down her cheeks.

"Who is.... Gabrielle, who are you.... Lyennos? He...what...why.... What's wrong? What's bothering you?" At that point, I couldn't make heads or tales of the situation. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why she was so distraught.

"The other night...when you were with him....," she mumbled, drying her cheeks with the back of her hand, and then she turned to face me and I saw, not only the grief, but the anger seething behind her eyes. "Do you love him, Xena?," she asked in a demanding tone and suddenly I was mute. Taking a step toward me, she folded her arms over her chest as though she was trying to shield herself from my answer. "Do...." She took yet another step. "....you...." She took another and raised her voice. "....love him?" Glaring at me, she waited for my reply.

"No. No, Gabrielle, I don't love him. I...."

"You what?," she growled. "Let me guess. He was just something for you to do in your drunken stupor?"

"That's not fair," I responded, my jaw so tight that my teeth were starting to ache.

"Not fair? Not fair?! I'll tell you what's not fair, Xena. You. You're not fair. Storming out on me with no explanation...traipsing off to some sleazy tavern without even bothering to let me know where in Tartarus you're going, not to mention why! And I'm left behind to track you down and thank the gods I did because Zeus only knows what...what...." Her tirade was cut short when her tears resurfaced, this time in the form of uncontrolled sobs.

"Come here. Please," I heard myself say as I reached for her and, in an instant, I made the most consequential decision I would ever make. No more hiding. No more deception. And, most of all, no more whispering. I was going to tell her how I felt...how I had been feeling for quite some time. If it meant sacrificing my soul, I was going reveal myself to her. All of me, no matter what the cost, and she would either accept me or she wouldn't. I had never know such fear as, trembling, I took her into my arms and began to speak.

"Gabrielle, you don't understand. Lyennos...he means nothing to me. He was just...."

"Just what, Xena?," she snapped, breaking away from my grasp, tears digging their way down her enflamed cheeks.

"Gabrielle, please. Listen to me." My legs were heavy as I moved toward her, fighting to still the wave of emotion swelling in the pit of my stomach.

"No. You listen to me." She turned to face me and I had never seen her look so undeniably hardened. "Xena, I can't do this anymore...can't take this anymore. You came into my life at a time when I needed you and you've taught me more in a couple of years than I ever imagined I'd learn in a lifetime but Xena...." She paused and swallowed hard, her tears reemerging. "I think it's best we go our separate ways. It's not that I don't want to be with you. It's just that...."

"No," I heard myself say and I meant it. "No, Gabrielle." My own tears began to fall and I reached for her with the hope that she wouldn't pull away.

"Xena, we...."

"Listen to me, Gabrielle," I said more forcefully than intended, gripping her wrist tightly in my desperation, before loosening my hold and softening my tone. "Please. Just listen to what I have to say and then...and then, if you still want to leave...." For the first time in my life, I was weeping like a baby...and that's precisely how I felt...like a helpless infant.

She gazed into my eyes and, almost as though she had no choice in the matter, placed her hands on my face, gently wiping away the tears. "What is it, Xena?," she asked. So soft. So compassionate. So Gabrielle.

Momentarily regaining my composure, I forced my fear aside and gently guided her toward the bed. Sitting there next to her, clutching my heart in my hand, I held it out for her to see. "I love you, Gabrielle," I said in a whisper. My eyes rising to meet hers, I repeated the words. "I love you," I confessed, this time out loud, and I was certain I was going to loose consciousness when my heart skipped more beats than I could count. My voice quaking, my body shaking, I forced the words. "Gab...Gabrielle...d..d..did you hear me?"

Tears flowing freely, she looked at me and smiled. "Yes. Yes, Xena, I heard you."

"W..w..w..well..uh..wh...how...how do you feel...about...about w..w..what I said?," I stammered, certain that my newly acquired stuttering problem was going to be a permanent part of my life from that moment on. Sitting there with my soul exposed, I started to panic, cursing myself for relinquishing so much. For taking such a risk. For letting her see me in this state. For abandoning my sense of reason. For betraying myself. For....

"Xena?" Her voice intervened, impeding the silent thrashing I was giving myself. "Did you hear me?"

"Hmm?," I mumbled, once again shoving my insecurities aside to join her in the moment; the moment I knew would have a lasting impact on the remainder of my life.

"I asked you how you love me."

How? How? What in Ares' name was she talking about...how? Oh gods I had no idea what to say...how to answer that. If this had occurred during the twentieth century, I'm certain I would have heard the Jeopardy theme song ringing in my ears. However, it did not occur during the twentieth century, but in the time of ancient gods, warlords, etc. ...so I digress...and there I sat, left to contend with the burning question: How?

As cliché as it may sound, I sank to my knees on the floor in front of her and professed my love. Clarifying, explaining, defining...I poured my heart out at her feet and, when I was finished, I had no choice but to wait for her fateful rejoinder. Though I know now that only a few candledrips passed, at the moment, it seemed as though I had time enough to relive a thousand lifetimes while I sat in silence, holding my breath.

"So that's what you mean when you say you love me?," she asked quietly and, without affording me the opportunity to answer, continued to speak. "If that's what you mean by love," she said through her tears and the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. "....then I love you too, Xena."

The words whirled inside my mind, drifting through my body...carrying my spirit to the heavens. On faltering legs, I stood and offered her my hand, pulling her gently to her feet, drawing her close. "I love you, Gabrielle," I said almost too loudly, my eyes searching hers. The intensity of her emotion subduing her, she whispered, "I love you too," and settled into my arms. Fulfilled and complete, I held onto her and yielded to her softness, joining her there.

As I had so many times before, I felt her warm breath against my cleavage in the midst of our embrace. Looking down at her, lost in her perfection, I traced the curves of her face with my index finger, her hands floating softly over my shoulders, at once chilling my bones and igniting my flesh. As if I was being propelled by a force beyond reason, with my heart in my throat, I kissed her. Tentatively, curiously, yet purposefully, our lips merged and parted several times before, at last, she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and conquered my mouth with her own. Passion forced to lie dormant for so long was instantly awakened as the kiss rapidly evolved. "Make love to me, Xena," she whispered, her teeth holding my lower lip captive, and I had never felt so wanted. Savoring the sweet taste of her kiss, I was aware of the insistent hands removing my armor, slipping the leather straps from my shoulders, and I left them to their will.

My naked breasts nestled against the woman whose tongue was wrestling with my own somewhere in the recesses of my mouth, I melted at the sensation of her hands on my bare back, stroking and caressing. My fingers fumbled with the strings securing her top, achieving their goal, removing it and tossing it aside. Momentarily placing our kiss on hold, we stood face to face, each basking in the sight of the other, hands slowly gliding over unhidden flesh. "Gods you're beautiful," I sighed, staring in awe at the vision before me. Her eyes fixed on her hands as they wandered over my breasts, she smiled and kissed me once more. "I love you, Xena," she whispered and I knew I would never grow tired of hearing her say the words as she held me close, her left hand still exploring my breasts. Stroking my nipple with her thumb, she grinned when it puckered at her touch and lowered her head. Gently at first, tracing the curves of each breast with her tongue. Grazing her teeth across the beige center, she looked up at me, her gaze taking my breath before she latched on and closed her eyes, seductively nipping and sucking, her right hand roaming up and down my thigh.

I heard myself gasp and, realizing she was slowly urging me toward the bed, reached down to unfasten her skirt, more than pleased by the discovery that she wasn't wearing anything underneath. Taking her with me, I reclined on the bed, guiding her body on top of mine. "This feels incredible," she sighed when, at long last, there were no barriers to separate us, and I felt myself come undone.

My mouth buried in her neck, the words were muffled, but she heard them and I felt her raw emotion seep through her skin and into my own. "I need you, Gabrielle. I need you."

Never before had those words passed through my lips and I had made a solemn vow to myself that they never would but, as I lay there in her arms, I found myself unable to lie to her...or to myself...any longer. I did need her. She was my strength, my hope, my truth...my everything and I wanted her to know that. Wanted her to know me.

Entranced by the way our bodies were moving as one, I kissed her again...deeply...taking the time to feel each of the infinite sensations floating over me. My tongue blazing a trail downward, her head shifted to one side, giving me complete access to the sweet exposed flesh. "MmmyeesssXena. Yes, my warrior. Yes, my love." She spoke quietly, urging me forward. My hands worked their way over her shoulders and down the length of her arms, my fingers momentarily intertwining with hers before traveling across her abdomen. The muscles in her stomach twitched at my touch, rippling with each caress. Raising my eyes, I watched her breasts rise and fall, my lips forging a trail of kisses down her neck and across her collar bone, before settling between the exquisite curves.

I felt her fingers rustling my hair, lovingly stroking the strands as she drew me closer, drawing me to her. With one hand on the back of my neck and the other cupping her own breast, she pulled me nearer still, sparking a quiet moan from deep within when she guided my mouth to her. Pressing against the back of my neck, she spoke softly. "I want this so much. I want you so much." My desire for her swelling, twisting my insides, tying my stomach in knots, I closed my eyes to prevent the tears pooling there from falling. In quiet desperation, I surrendered, drawing her into my mouth, the seductive sounds of her approval falling on my ears.

Her body moved beneath me, the fire under her skin intensifying, as my mouth moved on her, traveling over her until I was nestled amidst the curves of her thighs. I paused there, captivated by her scent, gazing at her as she raised her upper body, supporting her weight on her elbows, her eyes fixed on mine...and I knew what she wanted. "MmmyesGabrielle. Watch me. Watch me loving you," I said through an uninhibited smile and planted a light kiss amid the silken curls. Another kiss and her body jolted. Gods I wanted her. Lingering there, I tasted her for the first time, slipping my tongue between the ready folds before teasingly withdrawing, only to return once again. Bending her knees, she moved them further apart and raised her hips to meet my mouth. "UuhhnnggyessssXena," she gasped and again I pulled back, studying the expression on her face. Her legs trembling, her breaths sharp and quick, she pleaded for mercy when I offered my mouth to her yet again. "AahhhyeahuhhhXena yesss..." And I gave in, deriving as much pleasure, if not more, than she as my lips parted against her, my soul suddenly invigorated. "GodzzYESthankyou!!!," she screamed and I had to struggle to keep from laughing. Her hips shivering, my name rolled off her tongue again and again, each repetition propelling me skyward. I had never known such pleasure. "Mmmnnnnn..that's it, Gabrielle. That's right..let me love you," I groaned, nearly lapsing into orgasm as I continued to feed on her desire.

When I knew she was nearing her limit, I forced myself to withdraw and, sliding easily over her sweat-covered body until we were face to face, I felt her breasts rise and fall against mine as she tried to catch her breath. Showering her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, with kisses, I worked my way toward her mouth. Our lips merged and she kissed me hungrily, sucking my tongue into her mouth, savoring the remnants of her own essence lingering there, her fingers working their way down the small of my back and across my backside. I felt her hand slip between our bodies and my hips rose in response. Her fingertips quickly reached their destination, sending a spark up my spine and, eager for her touch, I parted my thighs in anticipation. She was reserved at first, her fingers delighting in the moist patch of hair, relishing the tender insides of my thighs. "Gaabbb..Gabriellllle...mmmnnnn..honey, pl..pleassse" I begged, lapping at her neck, my hips beginning to rise and fall against her.

Pressing the palm of her hand flat against me, purposely withholding her fingers, I could feel her heat rising in response to the intense motion of my hips. "MmuhhgnnG..Gabrielllle...pl..pleassse," I pleaded, pressing my pelvis hard against her, spewing words of pronounced approval when she captured the swollen nub between her index finger and thumb. Mercifully, she entered me, burying herself deep, and I sat upright, straddling her, my hips, seemingly having a will of their own, rhythmically bucking against her. "Xena," she whispered, stilling her hand without warning, and, in the heat of my passion, I leaned down to kiss her. "What is it? What is it, Gabrielle?," I panted, my tongue grazing her lips, my muscles tightening around the fingers lingering inside me.

"Your saddlebag." Her eyes shifted, zoning in on the pack lying on the table next to the wall. "Get it, Xena," she commanded through heavy breaths and I wasn't certain that I could move if I tried.

Her fingers delving deeper, my hips involuntarily lunging against her, she spoke again. "Pleeassse Xena...the...the saddlebag," she panted, the motion of her hand intensifying.

"O..okay..Ga...Gabrielle...what..whatever you want...whatever you need," I helplessly conceded, held captive by the touch she continued to administer between my soaked thighs. "Ohno..godsdon't," I heard myself spew when she attempted to withdraw. "Pl..please...just...just a little longer," I sighed in her ear and her gaze melted me when I saw the spark ignite in her eyes as she slowed her pace and kissed me. I wanted her there...next to me...inside me...forever.

Filling me more completely than I had ever imagined possible, she wrapped her arm around the small of my back and drew me nearer. "I love you, Xena," she told me once again and I was, at long last, whole. She lingered there for a few moments and then I saw her eyes shift in the direction of my saddlebag and I managed to tear myself away long enough to retrieve it. Crawling back into bed, bag in hand, I watched the way her body moved as she rose to her knees to face me. "You know what I want," she purred and I felt my body quake in response. My eyes transfixed, I watched her reach between her thighs, her fingers momentarily slipping out of sight before she brought them to her lips. "G..g..g..gods," was all I could manage to utter as I watched her lips wrap around two fingers, sucking them into her mouth.

"Are you trying to tell me that you enjoy watching as much as I do?," she boldly inquired and I know I blushed...twice. Her lips settled in a crooked grin as she reached inside the saddlebag and retrieved the stone. I focused on her slender fingers running along the length of it, her smile broadening when she slipped it between her thighs. "I want you to see this," she said and pressed her hand against the back of my neck, tilting my head downward. "Mmmm feels nice," she sighed, the tip of the stone disappearing beneath the blanket of blond curls. Her hips rocked back and forth in a rhythm which quickly hypnotized me, leading me toward a place I had never been but longed to discover. "Xeennnaaa," she growled and her breaths clung to the back of her throat when the stone penetrated her. "Mmmyeah watch me." And I did. At that moment, she owned my eyes, my body, my soul...and I knew I would spend the rest of my days...watching her.

"Xena," she whispered in my ear, guiding my hand, wrapping my fingers around the stone as she withdrew. My fingers delighting in the wetness they found there, I relinquished control, allowing her to silently express her desire. Her hand over mine, our fingers intertwined, I felt the warm stone against the inside of my thigh, gliding upward. "My turn to watch," she growled, her tongue seductively grazing her upper lip.

"Didn't you already have your turn?," I replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah...mmohyeah, Xena. I had my turn," she purred. "....and I loved it." She pressed her body to mine, wrapping her arms tightly around me, taking me down with her as she reclined. "On your knees," she whispered, her tongue on fire as she worked her way up my neck to my earlobe. "Get on your knees for me, Xena." And I complied, every muscle in my body begging for her touch.

On my hands and knees, I felt myself quiver when she moved behind me, the soft patch of hair pressed against my buttocks as her hands worked their way over my shoulders and down my spine to the backs of my thighs. "Spread you legs," she ordered, her voice taking on an edge I'd never heard before, and I heard myself moan when I did as I was told. Her lips blazed a path, her teeth grazing my ass as she lowered her head, and I groaned with pleasure when I realized what she had in store for me. "OhhmygodsyesGabrielle," I blurted out when her mouth, at long last, reached its destination and I felt her lips twist into a precocious smile against my flesh. Without a word she told me that she wanted nothing more than to please me...to sustain me...to love me.

She broke me quickly, and my need...my unbridled hunger for her...revealed itself in a torrent under the power of her bewitching caress. I gasped in sheer ecstasy when I felt her mouth cover me, taking in all I had to offer. When she had taken me to the brink, she rose to her knees, her body shifting behind me, and the stone soon replaced her mouth. "Will you let me, Xena?," she asked, pressing the tip of the stone hard against me.

"YesssGabrielle..I want..I want you t.." She entered me slowly, the length of the stone gliding easily between the smooth walls, and I knew I had died and gone to Elysia when she whispered once again, "I love you, Xena." I don't know why, but I found myself wanting thank her. For what, I wasn't sure. For loving me? For accepting me, despite my tainted spirit? For showing me a soul so full of light that I knew I would never walk in darkness again?

Moving in unison with her strokes, I felt her lower her hips, straddling the back of my calf. "Mmmuhhnggyeesss," I uttered in a near whimper as her pace quickened, the stone plunging deep inside me when her hips began to rock back and forth, her warm nectar trickling over my calf as she lunged against the muscles over and over again.

The sound of her voice purred in my ears, her scent making me dizzy. I felt her body grind against mine in its quest for the rapture of release and I knew the orgasm I was about to experience would surely obliterate me. And it did. "OhgoddsssXenaaa." The groan emerged through clenched teeth at the onset of her climax and, when she collapsed against my back, I had no choice but to join her. "Gabriellllle," I moaned quietly, the hot flood of my lover's release coating my flesh, the stone moving hard and fast inside me until the muscles in my legs gave way and I heard myself cry out.

Out of breath, tears trickling down her cheeks, she crawled into my embrace, welcoming my kiss. "Do you have any idea how much....," she began and I placed a finger against her lips, knowing that if she said the words, I wouldn't be able to prevent myself from weeping.

And now, as I lie here holding her in my arms, my mind lost in the events that transpired last night, I feel the words building beneath the surface of my skin and I know that I can't stop them from escaping in a whisper. "I love you, Gabrielle."

The end. icewomn@yahoo.com



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