~ The Ultimate Über ~
by J Falconer


Disclaimer: Xena, Gabrielle etc belong to MCA/Universal and Ren Pics, and anyone else who has an interest in Xena Warrior Princess, not me.

Copyright © 2000: The characters in here belong to me. All rights reserved. No part or whole of this work may be copied or used in any shape, form, or manner whatsoever without the author's express written consent. If you want to use them, all you have to do is ask ? nicely.

Violence Disclaimer: Not this time.

Love/Sex Warning: This story depicts a love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live - move along, move along, nothing for you here ...

Major vote of thanks to my ever patient beta reader ForevaXena for taking valuable time out to read this. I'd also like to take the time out to thank the ex-guards for their encouragement with this little err ? piece BTW, no I do *not* know what came over me.

jfishmael@hotmail.com.


"Oh my goodness, I just tripped over and fell at your feet," said the gorgeous, green eyed woman to the tall raven haired beauty with striking blue eyes.

"Here," said the tall woman comfortingly, squatting to face the young blonde woman she had just felt an instant soul mate connection to. "I'd better help you up and hold onto you a bit longer than strictly necessary with my strong, muscular arms. After that, I'll take you back to your place to put ice on it."

Blondie gasped as she found herself scooped up into the aforementioned tanned arms. The tingling traveling up and down her spine at the touch of the tanned and weathered, yet smooth and soft skin was undeniable. Glad I wore that shirt that shows more of my cleavage than necessary, she thought to herself. I wonder if she's just inexplicably fallen in love with me too?

Raven had just been thinking the same thing. Suddenly realizing that she had been clutching the young blonde to her ample bosom longer than necessary, she waited for a moment until her face heated up in the expected blush. When that happened, she carefully averted her eyes from the amazing view she had of the lush breasts (with properly pink nipples) before her, and put Blondie back on her feet.

"Wow," said Blondie, shaken to her rapidly heating core. "I don't suppose you could introduce yourself so we could finish the shopping and go back to my place, but only to sleep, could you?"

Just the opening Raven had been waiting for. "Sure," she said, flashing the expected dazzling white smile. She leaned down and whispered something into the young woman's ear.

Blondie stared at her in surprise. "Is that Greek?"

"Yes of course it is," replied Raven. "What were you expecting?"

"Err, dunno." Blondie stared at the shopping carts. "Okay, we'll take my cart and go back to my place, but only to sleep."

"Okay!" Raven smiled cheerfully, longing to tell Blondie of her undying love and instant connection to her.

Without further ado, the two women quickly made their way to the checkout. Everyone they walked past could see they were deeply in love and had a strong connection, but did not know it yet.

It took them a while, but they finally made it out into the car park, carefully concealing wistful glances at each other the whole way. This behavior continued as Raven unerringly led the way to Blondie's car, a small and compact sedan.

They loaded the groceries into the back of the car, and Raven had to perform some interesting contortions (revealing more of her muscular, fit body than was necessary) to climb into the passenger seat. Blondie, of course, watched the entire set of maneuvers, with nothing but a raised eyebrow.

"My goodness, you are tall," she said admiringly as Raven performed yet another complicated gymnastic feat to face Blondie.

"You're short and I bet you like food a lot," replied Raven, flashing her even, million dollar grin. "Can we hold hands just to demonstrate our deep friendship?"

"Just call me Shorty, yes I do and of course we can, just to demonstrate our deep friendship. But remember! Only light and affectionate teasing on the first two points."

Raven sighed, and took "Shorty's" hand. "Sounds good to me."

It was a short trip, amazingly familiar to Raven. It turned out that "Shorty" only lived a few doors down from the strong, silent and incredibly gorgeous Raven.

They pulled up out the front of Blondie's building and the vivacious woman with a heart of gold stopped the engine. "I don't know how you're going to do it, but you're going to have to cradle me in your strong arms, and get the groceries up to the front door in one hit."

"It's no problem," replied Raven, smiling down at her. "Just watch me."

With that, Raven levered herself out of the car, went around to the other side, scooped up the small woman yet again (in her strong, tanned arms), retrieved the groceries and unerringly led the way to Blondie's front door.

"How are you going to open the door?" asked Blondie, taking a deep breath of the sandalwood/musk/jasmine/clean soapy smell of Raven.

Raven arched a pitch black eyebrow. "I have many skills," she said confidently.

Blondie was not quite sure of what happened, but it seemed as though Raven had grown more arms than an octopus. Suddenly, the door flew open, and they were both inside and standing in Blondie's living room, the groceries having been carefully arranged in neat piles in the kitchen.

Raven stared at Blondie, carefully cradled in her long, strong, tanned arms, and sighed, deeply in love, but unwilling to admit it for fear of Blondie having missed their instant connection.

"Oh," said Blondie softly. "Why don't we just give up the pretense and admit we love one another? That way we could have some really hot, active sex, and decide to get married?"

"Fighting severe social prejudice and homophobic families? Sounds good to me," said Raven, and leant down to capture the blonde's lips.

As expected, the earth moved, continents were reformed and stars fell from the sky with the hesitant, yet increasingly confident touch of the two women's lips.

There was an instant of silence as they pulled away from one another.

"Wow," was all Blondie managed to gasp out.

"Yeah," said Raven, staring deep into the emerald green pools that her heart had been drowning in. Raven stumbled towards the bedroom, young blonde firmly cradled in her arms, stopping briefly in the kitchen to rescue the French bread stick and carrots from the top bag.

During this entire time they remained lip locked and did not hit one single item of furniture.

There was a flurry of black, white and pink as clothes went flying off in all directions. The lovers collapsed on the water bed, and there was a frenzy of heated mounds, slick bodies, throbbing centers, experienced fingers, talented tongues, bread and vegetables as the two screamed their shattering climaxes into the sudden fall of highly atmospheric night. All the alley cats that normally sat on the back fences howled and left; how could they compete with such raging passion?

In the warm afterglow, the blonde leaned back into the large, soft breasts (with dark nipples) of her not-at-all sated new lover. Blondie suddenly gaped.

"I'm having a past life experience," she announced grandly. "We have been lovers before."

Blue eyes widened as the knowledge settled in.

"Oh my goodness yes! We'd better get married and continue on from where we left off!"

"I agree completely! Now we just have to get past my homophobic mother, but tolerant father with a gay sister, and live happily ever after!"

They leaned into each other for another kiss.

"Yes! But that's a story for another time!"



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