Part III
Chapter 9
Return Home
Connie stood before a mirror to examine her appearance.
"Now there's a worldly looking woman looking back at you," she mentally told her image and laughed. From her head movement hair loosened from behind her ears and fell across her face. Peering through dark strands were disturbing eyes that reminded her of her father's in the painting. If her hair were shorter it would be like his, curling in wild disarray. With practiced skill, she bound her hair in a loose braid.
What was disturbing about his eyes? They were too dark and brooding. Was that it? Was he dwelling on something he could not change but felt compelled to try? Or was he disturbed by what her mother told him and he was determined to prove his fate was his own to decide and no omen or dream of his future wife would take that away from him? Surely he knew after spending most of his life with her that what she predicted came to be. What changed? Did their relationship become more like disagreeable siblings than partners?
Looking at her hands clasped in front of her, she realized her mother held her hands like this too. It was a mudra pose. There were many things her mother did that Connie now knew to be demonstrations of power and protection.
For an immeasurable passage of time she lived in the forest under Rozene's tutelage, but outside of the forest only two years passed. Tested and tested again, Rozene, Akeen and Asiza taught her to live with chaos and to find her balance in uncertainty. As Queen Eloise had assured her, memories of all that Ramla and Malinda had taught her were remembered in depth and more. Living in the forest was living in another dimension where she had access to knowledge that was at her summons, she just needed to remember how to call for it - and there were the consequences she had to be aware of and whose feet she was stepping on if it was asking for something in another's domain. It was very complicated and sometimes not worth the effort.
Connie smiled at her reflection and looked to the left of her, seeing in the mirror guides she had acquired on her journeys across various thresholds.
It was going to be strange walking among the unseeing. Rozene told her that was why many of those blessed with sight chose to live in rural areas or amongst their own peers. It was rather unsettling to see things others did not and not comment on it.
Impatiently, Connie tugged at her overcoat, pulling her focus back on the immediate. All draftees were to report to their send-off station to fill out discharge papers and write a summary of what they planned on doing with the lessons they had learned at the realms expense. Besides returning to the draft station, it was expected for draftees to return home to at least touch bases with their parents. Connie wanted to see her mother and see her cousins in person. It would be easy to find other safer ways to get the information but Connie wanted to do it herself.
Neda and Asiza had advised against her revisiting the Brethren's Compound alone with the Besarido out hunting for her whereabouts. Her argument was that it would be too conspicuous for her to be surrounded by guards and drop into the compound to exchange pleasantries with her mother. For her mother's sake she needed to challenge the compound security to flush out the traitors she knew to be there…and then leave. Was that fair to her mother? Maybe she wanted her mother to leave with her and this was a way to do it. Connie shook her head impatiently. Guilt at her motives was making her second guess herself which was fine in the beginning but now was the time to put into action what she decided. Adjustments would be made when the situation called for it.
"I can't believe this," she shook her finger at her reflection in the mirror, "you told Rozene you had no problem with mother's decision to live in the Brethren Compound for the cousins' sake. You're jealous that she chose their comfort over yours."
For a long moment she stared at herself in the mirror, looking for the half wild child that was hurt at leaving her freedom to wander the woods at will and the friends she had made for a home that was restrictive and friendless. Of course, there were the sylphs and spirits that gave her company in her mother's garden in the compound. They taught her the language of plants in the garden while her mother taught her in stories that her dreams reinforced.
It was amazing how much she had learned in the compound just by being isolated but when she began to leave the compound for her public education, compliments of the Realm, her focus was redirected to the outside world and realization of how restrictive the Brethren's rules were. Would she have felt different if she knew what the Brethren were really about?
Queen Eloise's cautionary advice was, "Don't trust anyone with your life but yourself, thereby never take your safety for granted."
"That's for sure. The compound has its own dangers. But now, I can see who is deceptive and who isn't," she told her reflection in the mirror.
"Oh, but you're setting yourself up for a rude awakening," Neda laughed, standing at the doorway to her room. "Come on, then. Our ride is here."
"You're going with me?" she asked surprised.
"We'll travel together as far as the tower where a bus will pick you up to deliver you to your draft station. No one will remember that you were away for years. How does it feel to be stepping back into that dimension?"
"I don't know yet. How do you feel?"
Neda shrugged her shoulders. "I've been moving back and forth since I was a child so it's not really upsetting to me. It's the mystery of the woods. You're lucky that everyone will be too full of their own stories to want to hear of yours."
"Are you saying I can't tell a good tale?"
"The less you say the less chance you have of saying something that will get you in trouble."
* * *
Connie was dressed in civilian clothes with a new pack near her feet. Since she was the only one delivered two years ago, she was the only one waiting to be picked up. Bessie and Neda waited with her for the bus in town rather than at the tower.
"I hope you didn't pick up any bad habits from the lieutenant here. Just so you know what your records show, you were loaned out to the Queen's Regiment for the finish of your tour of duty."
"Didn't that leave you short handed?" Connie asked concerned.
Bessie grinned. "We got one of their cadets. It worked out very well for Wolf Pack. May your future be blessed, Connie."
"Thank you SgtMj Bessie. May your troop be blessed with good recruits."
The bus pulled up and Bessie handed a sack she had been holding to Connie. "You'll be hungry so I thought a lunch will make your trip less tiresome. It's Cook's special. Less stops are made on the return trip."
"Thank you. Tell Cook thank you."
The bus driver stored her clothing bag under the carriage while Connie climbed aboard. The seats were empty. For old time sake she chose the same seat she rode up on.
The trip back was not as long since many of those that had made the original trip had chosen their own transportation to the draft station. By noon the new draftees would fill the same hall to begin their new life away from the comfort of family and friends.
Connie wandered around the hall, noticing how things were so much smaller. A recruiting poster caught her eye. "Join the Queen's Rangers," it read. "Only the best are accepted."
"They're a good group to get in with."
Connie turned to see who made the comment. "And you know this because…?" she asked.
The man was no higher than her waist; slim and by the way he leaped over the table he was sitting behind, he was very agile for his appeared age.
"I was one in my younger days. Retired now." He posed near the poster that was three times his size.
"I can see how you would make a good Ranger," she said.
"Eeya?" he asked taken aback, then quickly recovered, "Of course, of course I was. I did a lot of undercover work," he told her, in a hush-hush voice.
"So are you recruiting?" Connie asked.
"Oh, no. I'm just sitting at the table to take notes on who looks at the poster and who doesn't," he snickered.
Connie grinned. "I'll sign up."
Why not? It gives me something to do while I figure out how to fulfill my pledge. I have until I'm thirty-five to come up with a plan.
Fifteen minutes later, with her new orders in hand, Connie returned to wandering the hall thinking about the decision she made.
"There she is! Connie!"
Connie turned to see two well dressed women politely but with determination thread their way through the swelling crowd. Peering around them she could see they were each pulling a baggage cart, stacked with luggage. Very different than what they had started out with.
"My goodness but you've changed!" Mariam and Rachel chorused. They looked at each other and politely giggled behind their hands.
"You have to tell us what you have been doing all this time. We hadn't had time to keep up correspondence," Rachel said. "My gods but court life is just so busy," she gushed. "We met so many men for husband material."
"Speak for yourself!" Mariam laughed.
"She likes one of the many princes that was there. At least he's our age, but way out of her reach and I told her that," Rachel said. "Besides, he's a soldier and moves every two years."
"Well he gave me his number," Mariam batted her eyes at Rachel. "I'm not going to call, though. If he's really interested, he's going to have to do the chasing."
"He did!" squealed Rachel. "You didn't tell me that. Let me see, I don't believe you."
Mariam pulled out a card that looked official. Rachel inspected it carefully then handed it to Connie. The moment she touched it Connie had flashes of images out of a boy's life and then it stopped.
"That's probably what he gives to all the women he gets a fancy to squirm with," Rachel told her.
"Squirm with?" Connie asked, handing the card back to Mariam. Intimate images of what Rachel meant flashed to Connie. There were disadvantages of being connected to people.
"That's the polite way of saying "doing it." You know… You do know, don't you?" Rachel asked.
Connie smiled. "I think he gives his card to people he's interested in."
"He's just a lieutenant but he wants to be the Royal Armsman at Omwell. He was leaving the same day we were for sanctuary, whatever that is. He wants me to write him."
"So, what about that dolt that was claiming you for a wife?" Rachel asked.
"I don't know. I was wondering myself."
The three looked around but everyone had changed so much. Girls were now filled out as young women, and short boys were now tall young men, and some stout boys were so different they were not recognizable. Stacked luggage carts were everywhere.
The gong informed the group to quiet down and business was to begin. Well disciplined and eager to get on with their lives, everyone quickly began filling out the last of their draftee paperwork.
* * *
Rachel gave Connie a hard hug before releasing her. "I was hoping you wouldn't return to the Breathren."
"I need to make peace with my mother before I go anywhere else. I plan on seeing the Realm. I have a year of free travel on the Royal Blue Line and I can stay at the Youth Hostels free of charge."
"Wow." Mariam laughed. "You certainly have changed. I wouldn't travel alone…Or do you have a companion that will join you?"
It surprised Connie that Ranger Morra's face came up. "I'm sure I'll meet people along the way that I met while a tower guard," she said quickly, hoping her face did not redden too much. "I can disappear pretty fast if I smell trouble." Connie laughed to herself at how truthful that was in a literal sense.
Mariam and Rachel exchanged knowing looks and did a chorus of "uh huh" which Connie was not sure what that was about but had no intention of asking.
The women gave another round of hugs and departed. Mariam's brother was waiting to pick her up and Rachel's father was waiting for her.
Connie intended to take the public transportation system. It would be a good opportunity to see Hollbo. As she started her walk to the bus stop a skitter trailed her without making an attempt to hide the fact. After crossing the street she turned to see who it was, knowing that the sun would be full in that person's face. It was Cousin Alan, whom was supposed to be her younger brother. His face was older now but still had the chubby cheeks and red flush that gave his emotions away. He was due for the draft.
He pulled up too close alongside of the curb.
"You can get a ticket for that, Alan."
"Hey. You're talking to me," he laughed. "Before you left, you wouldn't even say hi. I've come to give you a ride home."
"You mean life in the compound has changed? Females can actually speak to males in public? I'll take you up on the offer. Thanks." Connie dropped her pack on the floor of the skitter while grabbing the bar and jumping in. "This isn't yours, is it?" she asked.
"No. I borrowed it. You look really nice. Different than what you looked like when you left. I thought I missed you in all the traffic."
Connie laughed with him at his blush and his embarrassment for speaking of things that in the compound would have been subjected to punishment, such as commenting on her appearance.
"Have they changed any?"
"The Elders? You're as different as Kel when he returned. If they hear that tone of voice, you'll be publicly humiliated. Papa will be shamed."
Connie caught the anxiety in his voice. "We get a broader view of life, Alan. What you choose to learn and how you act is what makes your experience worth while." She studied his profile intently. "For example, I learned what the Brethren's original purpose was and from my experience living there, I would say these days it's off kilter."
Alan glanced at her relived. "That's what I keep telling Papa but he says the head of the counsel makes the rules, not him." Alan looked so relieved at having said that he took a deep breath. Then he ruined it by looking embarrassed. He was at a very awkward stage of life, between believing everything he's told and seeing something different with his own eyes.
"Well, then, maybe when you return from the draft, if the original need is still there, you have something to do about the leadership."
"Me!" he squeaked in a voice that was between boy and man.
"It's through adversity and practice that we learn and grow strong to take on challenges we only dreamed we would." Connie was thinking how appropriate that comment was for her.
"Why are you coming back?" Alan suddenly asked.
"To see my mother."
"She's alright," he told her sullenly. "I won't let anyone hurt her. Papa wouldn't either, even if they don't get along all the time. He does care about her."
"So who is told what the Brethren are supposed to be about?" Connie asked, feeling his conflicting feelings of loyalty.
"Kel told me some of it. He said he's not going to live out his life for a myth. I looked up the rest. They don't say anything to us in the boys' dorm. They think we're too young for
men's business. But I know they don't tell most of the men anything. It's only the men on the Inner Circle that make the real decisions and their votes are secret even to each other." Alan took a quick glance at her then returned his attention to his driving.
"The Besardo are real. It's not for everyone to take on the mantle of responsibility when the temptation to be elsewhere is too great. My word of advice for you is the same I received… Don't trust that someone is guarding your back," Connie said.
Alan nodded. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes, you can ask."
"Where did you get that ring?"
Connie held it up to see the dark stone shine in the light. When the sun hit it at an angle, you could see that it was a deep purple. To protect her and the ring she had put a spell on it, so that only those with good will to the Moore's line could see it.
"I'm it's keeper for now."
He took a deep breath of relief. Connie found it interesting to watch his emotions fluctuate. It was no wonder the final rites of testing were to take place when the emotional body was considered settled.
"So you really do know." His face twisted into a scowl. "You better watch out for Jennifer. She's trouble. She's engaged to Horatio and let me tell you, he hates her."
Connie laughed. "You didn't tell me if a female's lot in life has improved."
"I don't know. I'm too busy learning all these stupid rules we
boys have to follow like who I can talk to, who I can't, what I'm supposed to do and what I can't, and none of it makes sense. I don't want to talk to some of those old men anyway. Nothing makes them happy."
"You go into the draft soon, no?"
"Tomorrow. The draft board notified me that where I'm being assigned, the weather is bad. By delaying a day, they expect it to clear up." For a few moments Connie studied his face. He was putting on a brave front, and yet, he was excited about where he was going.
"Jennifer must be getting nervous about her own in two years," Connie said.
"She says she's not going and that the queen and all her soldiers can't make her."
"That's going to be an interesting confrontation. Except, she's such a sneak, I'll make a guess she'll hide out until she thinks no one is watching for her. She'll have to leave the compound because if the Brethren are found to be hiding her, they lose their rights to have the wall up."
"Eldrich told her who her parents were and that they died because they would not join the Besardo. I know he's Besardo and now Jennifer is too."
"The enemy is everywhere. Their presence teaches us to be aware and alert and to trust no one to protect your back but yourself."
"Is there any instruction on when to sleep?"
"There are spells and other tricks on how to hide in full view of everyone," she laughed at Alan's expression of disbelief. "Whatever became of Londol and his tribe of ten? I didn't see Jhef at the draft center."
"No one's told you?" he asked surprised. "Jhef went missing from his assignment a few months after you all left. The officials kept coming to the compound looking for him until six months ago. The last time they came to notify Londol they found his remains in the desert with some others. They were dressed like they were hunting for treasure. I can't believe that people really think there's truth to those children's tales."
"So you believe children's tales have no truth to them?" Connie asked.
"I think that after all these years, the treasure is gone."
"Londol must be chewing his whiskers over Jhef's death. Knowing more of who I am, Londol must have had an inkling into what mixing his family line with ours would have given him."
"Londol gathered his family, asked for a stipend and left the compound. You have a new worry. Since Jhef's officially dead the elders have decided that you're to be married to Able. The arrangements have been made. That's one of the reason's I came to pick you up. I didn't think papa told you. He's furious because he had no say in the arrangement. I asked mama but she doesn't say anything."
"I haven't heard from anyone about anything. Who is Able and no way am I marrying anyone until after my passage into middle age." Connie felt relieved she had signed up, otherwise it would have been difficult for her to leave the compound without creating a stir.
"He's papa's age. I overheard one of the men say you'll need a real strong guide to bring you back into the fold after being out on your own so long. He a… a," his face went beet red. "Well, he thinks if you're pregnant right away, you'll be easier to handle."
"That's not going to happen. I enlisted in the Queen's Rangers officer's corps," she grinned. "That's going to upset a lot of people."
"It sure will." Alan laughed with her sounding relieved. Alan pulled the air cart into a familiar garage. He left some money on the seat.
"Did you really borrow it?"
"They said as long as I pay for the fuel." He moved to take her pack.
"I'd rather carry my own belongings, Alan. I don't want to be separated from what little I own."
He looked over at her worried. "I hope they don't do something stupid and lock you in."
As they approached the gate Alan pulled out a small box from his pocket. "Each male has one and it gives off a code that identifies the user and will let me in only if I haven't been blacklisted."
When the gate swung open, Connie could hear a sigh of relief from Alan. When the gate swung closed, men began to gather in the courtyard, surrounding her and cutting her off from Alan.
"Get her bag," a tall bearded man ordered.
Connie turned to face the tall stranger. In two years new faces were among those that were entrusted with the protection of the royal family, which in this case it was her mother, Alan and Jennifer. "I say no." A man that had took a step toward her stopped and looked at the bearded man. She boldly walked up to him and looked him directly in the eyes. Something lesser people were not permitted to do to people in authority, least of all females to any male. His eyes blazed for a moment then skittered away then back to hers, then away again. He had something to hide, though, if he were the head of the compound then chances were he knew her status. Though a woman, her position was higher than he would ever be, even if he married into a royal family.
"I'm with the Queen's Rangers," she said softly so only he could hear. "I'm here for a visit to my mother before I return to duty."
She turned from him and walked to her mother's house, not intimidated with the men and boys reluctantly parted for her, until a young boy blocked her path. There was fear in his eyes that kept skittering away from hers. His fear was from those around him, and what they would say about him if he gave way to her. She turned to the leader who had not moved. "Only a coward sends children to do their dirty work."
She pushed past the boy who moved on stiff legs as though he were petrified, and walked to her mother's house. Once the door closed behind her, she listened for her mother that she felt was nearby.
"Why did you do that?" her mother asked exasperated. Her eyes dropped to the ring on Connie's finger.
Because I want to be sure those with true purpose know they no longer have an obligation to protect me.
If they saw or felt the ring you're wearing, be assured they know.
The two regarded each other in silence.
"Answer her!" a young voice shrilled at her. "She is
your mother."
Connie turn to stare at the young girl that she had once spent all day caring for when her mother was busy with her chores. Jennifer had changed in some ways but in others, she was still the same spoiled child. It was hard to understand how she became spoiled. Connie looked at her mother, still not saying anything.
"I said answer her," she ordered, and came at Connie intending on slapping her.
"Children need to behave or not be present for adult conversations," Connie told her, easily grabbing her hands before she did any damage and tapped her on her neck to knock her out.
"She's going to be very angry about that," her mother said mildly. "She's just like her mother."
Connie picked her up and dropped her unceremoniously on the couch, then followed her mother to the garden.
You have learned more than what I had hoped.
I had a lot of help from family.
Her mother smiled and leaned down to pinch an herb. She handed it to Connie and with it something else. "You must not spend the night here. I'll be alright. I have enough protection to stop the Besardo, even when they recruit people like Jennifer."
"Is she going to destroy this compound?"
"It's not to be your worry. Leave now. The gate will be opening to let in those returning from town."
Blessings, mother. Thank you for what you did teach me.
Trust no one, but keep an open heart.
I understand completely. Alan has a true heart, mother.
Yes. It has been noted by those that will guide him.
Connie hefted her pack onto her back and walked unseen to the gate. It was opening as she approached it. Men and boys anxiously hung around the gate waiting for those that had missed the commotion to return from their business in town. As she passed them she heard snippets of fear and excitement. Those that were true Breathren felt her power as she moved passed them.
Just this small agitation she brought to the compound would reignite their belief in their original cause. She was the light, Galina. Alan would be their new leader when he returned from his two years of training at an old Breathren's feet, tucked away safely in a castle far in the mountains. It was ironic that of all the cousins, he looked the most like the Prince that sold his family out.
Her eyes briefly rested on the man she knew as her father. He was not gifted with sight, but she saw him now, weighted down with the responsibility of protecting her mother and keeping Jennifer contained. In the end, it would be her mother that would save him and Jennifer would have a crossroads to face alone.
Continued in Part III - Chapter 10