A Walmart Valentine's Day by Jude

I went to Walmart on Valentines Day morning. Mistake number one. Everyone and their grandma Moses was there doing last minute shopping. Unfortunately, I didn't wear any sunglasses, I mean who needs them in the middle of winter, on a dull cloudy day in Massachusetts? Mistake number two.

I stepped through the swishing doors to be greeted by a demented humanoid version of the energizer bunny spitting out "Welcome to Walmart, Welcome to Walmart" with every breath he took. I barely missed being nailed right between the eyes by one particularly cheerful comment. Instead, I managed to whip my head around in time and threw a nasty snarl back at him. My snarl bounced off him like a ping-pong ball off a brick wall. Oh well, what can you do, right? Maybe next time.

I threw my shoulders back, grabbed the sides of my black leather jacket between my fists and made ready to do battle. Mainly do battle with harried mothers, screaming kids hanging off shopping carts, and teeny boppers in cropped shirts with tan dyed mid-drifts clutching the sweating hands of prepubescent teenage boys. So much for romance.

All I wanted was toothpaste, so as I hurried down the aisles, I kept my head down, but that unfortunately, meant I couldn't see very well, and crashed right into a surly teenager with pink and green hair. Lovely. He muttered a few foul invectives at me and I shot back with "Oh yeah, you kiss your mama with that mouth?"

He in turn whipped out "No, bitch, I kiss yo mama with this mouth!" Before I could parry with a smart-ass comment he was sucked into the crowd, hopefully to never be seen or heard from again. Maybe he'd get trampled by an over-zealous housewife careening madly through the aisles with a shopping cart. One less moron in the gene pool. I could always hope.

As I was scanning the hanging signs above the aisles, razors, deodorant, tampons...ahhh toothpaste. Bingo. I quickly turned the corner down the main aisle to hit the smaller aisle shooting off on the right, to get my precious toothpaste, when I was blind sided from the left by neon red and pink swirling colors. I was staring at aisle after aisle of hideously wrapped chocolates in every shape and size in varying shades of sickeningly, oozing red and pinks. Huge floppy bows, and stuffed cheesy teddy bears greeted me. It stretched on for what felt like eternity.

I couldn't take it. It was so disgustingly sweet. So fake. I snorted and being the ass I am, immediately as loud as I could shouted, " Clean up on aisle 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, Clean up! St. Valentine vomited every where!"

I heard a snort and part cough part choke behind me. I quickly turned and was greeted by a rather diminutive brunette trying to cover her laughter behind her hand. I arched an eyebrow and in my best seductive voice murmured "Why fight it? You know you want to, just let it out."
Apparently my seduction techniques needed work, because this time she full out laughed in my face, while pointing at me! Some people have no manners! I girded my emotional armor around me and gave her a feral smile. She only laughed harder.

"Ah..I-I'm sorry, no, really, I'm sorry. It was just too much," she choked out while wiping tears out of her eyes. Brown, deep soulful brown. Funny, how I noticed that. She smiled at me, pink lips opening to reveal even, white teeth.

"You need sunglasses to keep from going blind just to walk by all this crap," she muttered.

Ahhh...another Valentines Day hater like me. I was gleeful, another person who detested the lamest holiday of all.

"So," I tried to remark casually, "If you think its crap, why are you in this aisle?"

"Ah well, you see my best friend just broke up with her loser boyfriend, and she loves Valentines Day. I just wanted to get her something to make her smile."

I nodded. I could understand that. She stepped closer and held out her hand. "Since we share an affinity or at least a distaste for Valentines Day, we should properly introduce ourselves. I'm Jessica."

I grasped her hand gently, marveling at its softness, yet recognizing the strength in her fingers.

"Lee."

Her slow smile blossomed across her face lighting up eyes. My chin dropped a little, and I found myself feeling somewhat shell-shocked by the affect her winsome smile had on me. I dropped my eyes only to lift them slowly and take in the sight of her. She was a few inches shorter than my tall, lithe frame, compact with gentle curves, lightly tanned skin even in winter. Her eyes were big and doe-like with soft waves of dark hair falling into them. She looked like an athlete. Maybe she played softball? A girl could always hope. I carefully looked over her low-riding jeans, doc martins, and blue polo shirt that did nothing to hide the soft swell of her breasts. Hmmmmm...

I heard a quiet chuckle, and my head immediately shot up. I'd so just been caught perusing the goods, and I don't mean the Valentine chocolates! I blushed and quickly averted my eyes, embarrassed and feeling a bit put out.

"You blush any harder and you're going to rival the Valentine bows."

Naturally, I blushed even harder, proving her wrong. I groaned, deep in my gut. Could this damn day get any worse? I heard her sharp intake of breath, and when I turned around her eyes were large and she had a peculiar look on her face. Her cheeks were a tad flushed, and this time she turned away embarrassed. Hmmmmmm...

"So, what are you doing at Walmart today? I assume not shopping for Valentines Day?" Her voice sounded almost hopeful as she lightly tossed the question at me.

Being an adept lesbian, I caught it and casually remarked, almost proudly "I'm here for toothpaste!"

She nodded her head slowly, perceptively, as if I'd just revealed a big secret, and maybe I had. She now knew I was alone, probably with no one with whom to share the most sickening holiday of all. Right, like shopping for toothpaste was something to proud of. I turned away, once again facing the rows of heart shaped boxes, neon red candies, and cheesy hallmark cards. I winced slightly as my gaze drifted down the aisle. But this time, it wasn't so much because of the bright colors, but because there wasn't anyone to share them with.

I felt her move up beside me, standing closer than polite conversation dictated. She sighed a bit, turned and looked at me and asked, "Why do you hate Valentines Day so much? I mean aside from the obvious garish colors and such?"

I shuffled my feet, unsure of what to say or do. I could feel the heat emanating from her body and found my mouth strangely dry. I shoved my hands deep into my baggy jean pockets. I turned towards, her suddenly surprised by just how close to me she was. I could see the flecks of gold dancing across the brown of her eyes. Blue crashed with brown, and I felt the air leave my lungs in an all too telling whoosh. I choked, and quickly stepped back, placing much needed distance between this engaging creature and I. I was hard, jaded, a loner and content to be so. I wanted nothing to do with this fair, smiling woman. Then why did I find myself stepping back towards her?

"Why do we need one day to show that we love each other? I mean, if you really love someone, shouldn't you show them every day, whether with flowers, chocolates, kisses, back rubs, or just gentle smiles. Everyone spends tons of money for all this crap, buying into the game that if you don't buy someone something or go out to dinner, you don't love them."

" I see," she replied as she arched an eyebrow. I plowed on.

"I mean really, do you know who invented Valentines Day?" I continued on before she could even answer. "Hallmark did. The stores created this holiday to sell us more crap that we can live without. It's all about the money. I mean tomorrow, all of this crap will be gone, shoved into carts with signs marked "50% off." That's how valuable this junk is. That's how much it actually means! Valentines Day will be all packed in, and they will be filling the shelves with the next big money maker: Easter."

She arched that damn, sexy eyebrow again and smiled at me.

I twisted away slightly, blushing again, "Well, maybe Hallmark didn't invent it. I just hate feeling that if I don't buy into it then I'm just a scrooge who doesn't love her girlfriend."

Her smile grew even wider and she leaned in closer to me. "Do you have a girlfriend?

"Well, no, I don't, but that's not the point."

"So tell me than, how do you show your girlfriends that you love them?"

Now I was trapped, how was I going to explain the impossible to her. That I'd never really had a real girlfriend? At least not in the sense of really, truly loving another woman? And
why did she care anyway? She must have seen my hesitation, my insecurity. She reached out and placed a hand on my arm. She turned me towards her. She graced me with a tender, sweet smile as she searched my face, looking for something undefinable. I'm still not sure to this day what she saw, but whatever it was, it changed the course of my life.

She leaned in to me, fulling turning me towards her, placing both her hands on my wrists, gently encircling them with her long slender fingers. I trembled at the slight touch, and my breath came out in quick puffs. What was going on? Women didn't usually affect me this strongly. While I'd never really loved another woman, I'd had a few casual girlfriends. They usually lasted a night or weekend depending on the sex. Meaningless sex meant to fill the temporary hole in my heart, sate the yearning that I couldn't explain. Funny how I never felt whole or complete.

And then her lips grazed mine, and I literally felt the tingle. I'd never believed in "the tingle" that I'd often read about. But damn if it wasn't real! My eyes fluttered closed, and I leaned in to the delicious warm taste of her on my lips. Her tongue flicked lightly over my lips, asking for entrance. I had no choice, my world had suddenly narrowed and shrunk to this one pulsing moment. Our kiss deepened as she caressed my tongue with hers. Our tongues slipped, slid and curled around each other, pushing and pulling, giving and receiving, taking it all in. The dance was old as time.

We both drew back gasping lightly for air. My head was buzzing. Who knew? I certainly didn't.

"Do you always kiss girls in the Valentines Day aisle at your local Walmart?"

"No. Only one girl. Only you."

"But why?" I was nervous now, fearful of what it all meant. My body was thrumming, and now that I'd had a taste of her, I wanted more, so much more.

"You never answered my question, you know. How do you show your girlfriends you love them?" She gazed gently but determinedly at me, searching my face as if my answer was going to reveal to her those things she so desperately sought. She hooked her thumbs in her back pockets and leaned back slightly, gazing intently at me.

I rubbed a palm down the side of jean clad leg. I shifted, unsure, not knowing how to explain it, but wanting to all the same.

"I've never loved anyone, but I've always wanted to." I suddenly blurted out.

She smiled slightly.

"She would be my better half, the part of me I couldn't live without. I would tell her every day not only how much I loved her, but why I loved her. I wouldn't just love her, I-I would cherish her." I gulped, knowing I'd said so much. Perhaps too much.

I hurried on, almost choking on my own vulnerability, almost angry because I lived with the impossibility of it, and I was tired of it.

"I mean, I've always scoffed at those stories that talk about "the tingle", finding your one true love and just knowing it immediately, and living happily ever after. It's so fake. None of its true! It's just a fucken fairy tale!" I could hear the hopeless edge in my voice, and I hated it! How I hated admitting my vulnerability.

"But I so desperately want it to be true, to be real," I whispered as I shook my head, tears in my eyes. I looked up at her and met her eyes that sparkled with unshed tears. "I want to drown in her eyes, only to find my own soul."

She gazed at me not speaking a word, but her eyes, oh her eyes told me all her lips did not, and then she stepped into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me, cradled her to my aching, bursting heart. She fit perfectly, the piece to the puzzle. Who knew?

And there in the middle of the Valentine aisle at Walmart, surrounded by gaudy reds, pinks, and golds, streamers, fake flowers, and smiling teddy bears, I kissed her and looked deep into her eyes only to drown and find my soul, myself.

Who's cheesy now?