DISCLAIMER
Though the characters in this tale may physically remind you of people that you know, they are in no way affiliated with, or based upon, the characters of Xena and Gabrielle as used in Xena: Warrior Princess. It may shock you; nay, disgust you to know that I have watched barely three episodes of your favourite TV series (perhaps four years ago?) and so would not be able to draw upon those characters even if I wanted to. Not my fault, mind you, but that of the broadcasting authorities in my country. However, I am aware of certain physical similarities and therefore invite you to employ your own wild imagination to make the leap.

SEX/VIOLENCE/BAD IDEAS/GOOD INTENTIONS/SNEAKY BUGGERS/NIFTY HANDCRAFT WARNING
I am trying to not to be too evil, I promise, but if you can�t stomach handcraft now is the time to turn around and walk away. Just waaaaaaalk away (The more �a�s the farther you should walk). In any case.
In terms of sex I specialise (in this story, at least) in the delicate art of subtext. It works exactly like Keanu Reeves� acting ability � whether it�s there or not depends on your point of view.

COMMENTS
You are most welcome to share them with me, as long as you adore me madly. No, but really. Constructive criticism will be welcomed with open arms. As will Charlize Theron�s mother, even with her odd Polish accent. Oh, and Ellen Degeneres. Call me! Find me at: kalexy@webmail.co.za

AND FINALLY
Have you ever seen a chicken slip on wet tiles? There are no words.

CHAPTER TWELVE

�� lo and behold, you horrid bugger
I take after my moustachioed mother
And saying so he drew his lance
And stuck it up the royal�s� �

The knight testily interrupted the prince�s deeply soulful squawking. �Eric.�

�� yes?�

�Is there, in fact, some sort of royal finishing school where all of your types learn this damned song?�

One perfectly arched blonde eyebrow disappeared thoughtfully beneath his rakish fringe. �Perhaps there could be a reappearance of it at Madame Contretemps� College for Young Nobles, sung in the washroom as a form of rebellion or something to that effect.� He shifted in his saddle with the air of somebody who was about to impart something of an incredibly boring nature with the greatest of enthusiasm. �It was, in fact, made very fashionable at the Court of Francolin the Seventh of Crane Valley by the renowned court jester Twerp, who performed it on fifteen separate occasions, one being to mark the arrival of the queen of you�re not, in fact, even listening, are you?�

�No.� Crispin shook her head languidly. �But I favour not listening amiably to your talking, over almost listening with great horror to your singing, darling.�

�Marvellous, for I reflect on nothing but your happiness. Troll.�

They had been riding in a southwest direction towards Flagstaff for what had remained of their day, and the sun was now setting rapidly ahead of them. Dark shadows lengthened around them, and though they were on a communal road the danger of brigands always remained. Studying the beautiful layers of colour in the sky Eric reined in his horse and veered closer to the woman next to him.

�I think we should move off the main road and make camp in a rather less open space, Crispin. No need to look for trouble.�

�Yes, it always finds us first. You�re right, Eric. Do you see that break in the foliage up ahead? Let�s swerve in there and find a suitable area a good distance off.�

Readily they trudged through the small undergrowth and into a lightly forested area, riding quietly for a good while until the trees fell off once again and gave way to a clearing.

�Eric? Have I fallen on my head once too many times or are there lights winking at us in the not-so-distant distance?�

Squinting in the near darkness Eric could barely make out what seemed to be three or four lamps glowing invitingly. �They are definitely not a figment of your imagination, Crispin. Lamplight, not too far off. Shall we hurry and beg for some hospitality?�

�Most definitely. The few days in town have made my rump accustomed to better things than the hard ground.�

�What grandly robust knights we are.� Eric�s mockingly flattering voice drew a peal of laughter from Crispin.

�Hey, do you remember the time when we swam into the tunnel at Gungjian for the alleged treasure and then you wouldn�t dive down to the secret opening because it meant that your hair would be mussed?�

�The word to accentuate there is alleged. When you got back you were none the richer and very muddy, and I was still looking great.�

�I have a natural appeal.�

�Certainly you have au naturel appeal, but once you�re dressed it comes down to personality, and there, my love��

�Oh shush. What is this place, do you suppose?�

They had steadily been approaching the glow and could now see the building from which it emanated. Stopping, they took a moment to assess the structure. It appeared to be a very old farmhouse with no extraordinary facet about it save that it was in the middle of nowhere. Dark wood, obviously uncared for, was hammered at absurd angles, and the glassless windowpanes � the sources of light - had twisted themselves into odd shapes over the years. A porch obscured where they assumed the front door would be, vines growing and winding with abandon around its dark wooden pillars and onto the sloping roof. Three stairs led onto the dark porch, and in the gloom they could barely make out a massive boulder that sat innocuously on the front lawn. To the left a smaller building stood, its details obscured by the darkness falling around it.

Catching the movement of the golden head next to her Crispin leaned closer and glanced at Eric. �It seems a bit� ominous.�

His head nodded a few times, the lamplight accentuating strands of his hair. �That it does.�

�And yet�� she sat up in her saddle and draped her hands over Toby�s neck, �we�re probably going to continue until we are so irrevocably in trouble that we have no choice but to run away screaming like little girls.�

The prince nodded solemnly. �That we will.�

�Well then,� Crispin nudged an unwilling Toby into a walk, �shall we? And why do we, by the way?�

�It is because we are knights,� the prince declared with a noble air, �because we are proud, and righteous, and brave - and too bloody stupid to find a less dangerous profession.�

Approaching the boulder they slowed down, wariness creeping in and peeking over their shoulders. When Toby came to a complete halt and declined to continue politely Crispin glanced at Eric. �Perhaps we should just turn around and��

�Welcome, strangers.�

It was so unexpected that Toby took a pensive moment before he reared wildly and threw a startled Crispin clear off his back. Landing expertly she rolled to her feet in a poised crouch, her dark eyes darting hastily to the figure that had apparently sprung up from behind the massive rock. Straightening up it proved to be a rather pretty and unthreatening well-bosomed young woman, her features indistinguishable in the faint light. Though only the whites of Eric�s eyes were showing over the broad back of the horse he was currently hiding behind, they managed to look more or less as sheepish as Crispin felt. With an embarrassed little cough she straightened up herself and rubbed one hand over her black hair uncomfortably. �Er. Hello.�

The young woman stepped out from behind the boulder and approached the knight slowly, her diaphanous dress floating oddly about her legs. She moved so gracefully that her feet did not seem to be touching the ground. �My apologies for having startled you.� Her voice was pleasingly light, and her strong accent slightly nasal yet charmingly lilting. �I hope that you are not injured?�

Avoiding the extended hand that was threatening to examine her limbs Crispin shook her head rather numbly. �No. No. I am fine. Completely.�

�You seem somewhat stunned. Did you knock your head? Please, you must come in. I will have it no other way.� Swirling around the young woman floated towards the house, speaking over her shoulder as she did so. �I will fetch a lantern to take the horses to the barn. I will not be long.�

For the next few moments Crispin and Eric were engaged in one of those sharply whispered exchanges that frequently ended in the oft-repeated words �you!� �no, you!� In this case it actually happened to be �let�s go!� �let�s not!� but the principle remained exactly the same, and when the young woman returned it was to a smug prince and a petulant knight. Lifting her lantern to illuminate, briefly, a delightfully upturned nose and gently sloped upper lip, she motioned towards the barn with her head.

�Please do follow me.�

They were pleasantly surprised at the interior of the ostensibly dilapidated barn. From the inside it almost seemed to be a different structure altogether, clean and warm with such a good stock of hay that even Toby relented and abandoned his injured air. Leaving two satisfied horses the young woman led two rather less satisfied but more ill at ease individuals up the porch stairs and through the slightly ajar door of the farmhouse. The interior had the same effect as that of the barn � that is, it seemed to be a completely different space on the inside. The living area that they had stepped into was warmly decorated and inviting, with large well-stuffed chairs arranged on thick brightly coloured carpets around a massive stone fireplace. A roaring fire was currently going, and it was in that light that the young woman stepped forward and was joined immediately by two others who had apparently simply materialised from the chairs. Side by side it was unmistakeable that they were identical siblings. All three were crowned with an abundance of red hair that tumbled and curled around their fine triangular faces. Large eyes and full pouting top lips were reflected similarly in every face. The woman who had welcomed them shook her head.

�Oh, where are my manners, I must apologise. I am Souflay, and these are my sisters Biday and Lahtay.� The other two girls bobbed at the mention of their names. �Welcome once again to our home, and I do hope that I have not caused you too much distress.� Stepping forward towards Crispin Souflay spoke to her sisters over her shoulder. �This one�s steed started and threw her.� Extending her hands she reached out and patted clean air, mostly because the dark knight had tried to retreat subtly at the movement and subsequently tripped over a corner of the bearskin rug behind her. The three sisters studied the sprawled woman with such expressions of concern that she almost began to giggle from nervousness.

�Well, see, I�m all right. Nothing the matter at all. Solid as a bear. Except this one under me, of course.� Stumbling to her feet with the help of Eric�s hand under her elbow she dusted at her clothing, intensely aware even before she did so that there was absolutely nothing to dust away. I did better with the dragon than with three harmless well-mannered amply bosomed young women. What is the matter with me? I�m behaving like a skittish colt. Clearing her throat she knocked Eric in the ribs. It took him a moment, but he got there.

�Oh, we have not even introduced ourselves. Pardon me. I am Eric De Fonten�t at your service, and my charming friend over here is Crispin.�

The three sisters bobbed in unison before one of them spoke. �Oh, you must be hungry. We have some soup and bread left over from our supper � it is a simple meal but we are most honoured to share. Biday, please fetch tea for our guests.� The girl on the far right bobbed. �Souflay, please ladle the soup into the bowls.� The girl in the centre bobbed. �And as our guests, please do make yourselves comfortable.� The young woman motioned towards the abundantly upholstered chairs before she turned and followed her two sisters into a room to the left of the entrance.

The dark knight smiled politely until the three young women had disappeared, then swung around just in time to catch the amused grin curved about Eric�s lips. �What are you sniggering at?� she enquired irritably.

With a teasing pout the prince raised his broad shoulders. �Oh, nothing at all, Crispin.� Wandering towards the chairs he picked one at random and dropped down into it. �You�re as perfectly charming as ever.�

With a cantankerous snort she picked the chair to his left and sat down, almost letting loose a startled yelp when her lean frame sank deep into the pillows. Shooting a dark glower in his direction to prevent any forthcoming laughter she shifted around a little. Eric watched with interest until she had settled.

�Crispin?�

�What?�

�Nothing is going to happen.�

Eyeing him darkly she picked at a protruding strand of material. �Something always happens, Eric.�

�Not in this instance.� Stretching over he took her fiddling hand in his. �Look, they are three frail lovely young women. We, on the other hand, are intrepid knights with sharp daggers stuffed down our boots. There is nothing to fear. Are you sure you are not just nervous precisely because they are three frail lovely young women?�

�You always utter such complete nonsense.�

�Well, I shall protect your assets until such a time as you wish to distribute them,� he declared solemnly, pulling his hand away rapidly to avoid the normally resulting slap.

At that point the door opened again to the three women who were each carrying a tray in their hands. The first placed expertly prepared tea on the small table in front of them. The second offered each a bowl of delicious-smelling soup, and the third placed a plate filled with thick slices of buttered bread on the table next to the tea. Though the sisters had considered the food simple it looked rich and appetizing, and with gracious thanks both the knight and the prince set about demolishing their meals as civilly as possible. At a request from one of the sisters (neither Crispin nor Eric could tell the difference) they briefly told of some of their adventures, the youthfully enthusiastic reception thereof encouraging them to relax a little.

�But you have had marvellous exploits! One must possess certain bravery to achieve such things!�

�Well,� Crispin eyed the woman and cleared her throat uncertainly, �Souflay��

�Lahtay.�

The name shuffling had been going on for the entire evening. If the girls had stayed seated in the same places it would have been a simple task, but as it was they moved about constantly, shifting seats without a thought. They did not seem restless so much as purely fluid, and the two guests had long ago given up any pretence of knowing who it was they were speaking to at any given time.

�Erm, my apologies, Lahtay, it is not so much a question of certain bravery as blind stupidity.�

One of the other women, who had been perching round-eyed on a low stuffed bench, shook her head in awe. �Oh, surely not. You must not think that. I can see, we all can see, that you are quite unique individuals.�

Eric, who had been adding to Crispin�s accounts from deep inside his comfortable chair, decided to interject at this point. �You must excuse Crispin, Biday��

�Souflay.�

�My apologies. Souflay. You must excuse Crispin, she is far too modest for her own good.�

Blushing faintly the dark knight waved the comment away with one hand. �But please � it feels as though Eric and I have been talking the entire night, and as much as we have enjoyed that, we would like to hear your tale as well.�

The three sisters turned a coy glance on each other before the one in the middle � Lahtay? � started. �We were born in the northern coastal village of Cathcairn, which is mostly a fishing hamlet.�

�That is in Marganstern County,� one of the other sisters helpfully supplied.

�Our father was a fisherman, and our mother a net mender. When we were old enough to work, we became � ship callers.� She shot a fleeting look at her sisters, who both smiled at the guests in a fashion that Crispin found mildly peculiar, but could not identify.

�Ship callers?� Eric was so ensconced in his snug seat that he had missed the exchange between the young women.

�Yes.� This time it was another sister who spoke. �We led ships into their moorings with signals from our positions on large rocks close to the shore.�

�Don�t they have light houses to do that?� Something was bothering Crispin, but the precise fact was eluding her at the moment.

The middle sister nodded. �Yes, there are light houses for that reason. But most small villages cannot yet afford them.�

�It is most likely that the villagers will have built one by now,� the sister on the left interposed. The sister on the right nodded.

�Yet it will be sad to lose the sea to modern life.�

�Lose the sea?� Eric smiled. �It sounds as if you possess it.�

�Oh, that is not the case.� The middle sister shook her head. �It possesses us. That is� we love it with all of our hearts. We were born by the sea, grown at it, nourished through it� The sound of the waves always dwells in your head, and the smell of salt in your hair. The sea is so filled with� �

�Clams?� Eric, ever helpful.

The three sisters frowned faintly in unison, honestly considering his comment. The young woman to the left nodded. �Yes. Clams. But also pleasure.�

�Ah.� From the expression on his face it was clear that Eric considered clams a much better suggestion.

�Excuse me, Lahtay�� Crispin had to change her point of focus very rapidly from the sister in the middle to the sister on the left who politely said, �Yes, Crispin?�

�If you love the sea so, then why did you leave the village? And why live here, in the middle of nowhere?�

Another indefinable glance shared between the sisters before Lahtay spoke. �There was an incident between myself and some of the older fishermen. We were not welcomed after that.�

The dark knight shifted a little in her seat, suddenly alert. �What sort of incident?

�The personal sort.� For the first time the overly well-mannered sisters seemed sullen and reticent. �We do not speak of it.�

A quick look passed between Eric and Crispin. Clearing her throat the knight attempted to soothe the suddenly brooding siblings. �I apologise. It is none of my business and obviously distressing for you to speak of. It was thoughtless, and I shall press you no more.�

That seemed to do it. Immediately all three pretty faces were smiling again. A moment of benign friendliness passed before Eric straightened in his chair, exuding manly chivalry and interest. �So what is it that you do on this land?�

�We farm.� The middle sister. �� Mostly apples,� Lahtay, sitting on the left. �� and a few vegetables,� from the sister on the right.

�That�s nice.� Crispin smiled encouragingly.

The sister to the right patted her middle sibling�s knee. �Souflay, shall we finish with our embroidery?�

�Definitely.� Souflay nodded graciously at her guests. �That is if you do not mind?�

�Of course not.� Eric was as gracious as ever.

Lahtay rose and disappeared to the back room, returning with three frames and a satchel full of threads. The pieces they were working on were beautiful already, three oddly identical images of intensely blue waves crashing around a large rock on which a solitary redheaded figure stood with her arms raised as a ship approached her - and a jagged coastline. Arranging the material over their knees demurely the three sisters lifted their needles at once, working in perfect agreement. With a slight frown Eric studied the upside-down images, wondering what it was about them that had caught his attention in the first place. He was still examining them perplexedly when Biday cleared her throat. �Would you mind if we sing as we work? It is our custom.�

Eric�s eyebrows suddenly shot into his hairline. �I don�t � �

�Please do. We would be most pleased,� Crispin interrupted unintentionally.

As three voices began to sing in a melancholic and haunting harmony the prince sighed, �� think that would be wise.�

CHAPTER THIRTEEN...