~ The Official Guide to Rescuing and Maintaining Damsels in Distress ~
by K. Alexander

DISCLAIMER
Though the characters in this tale may physically remind you of people that you know, they are in no way affiliated with, or based upon, the characters of Xena and Gabrielle as used in Xena: Warrior Princess. It may shock you; nay, disgust you to know that I have watched barely three episodes of your favourite TV series (perhaps four years ago?) and so would not be able to draw upon those characters even if I wanted to. Not my fault, mind you, but that of the broadcasting authorities in my country. However, I am aware of certain physical similarities and therefore invite you to employ your own wild imagination to make the leap.

SEX/VIOLENCE/ALL THE REST I NEVER GAVE A MENTION WARNING
No sex, violence, bad language, bad attitude or anything else resembling anything else here.

COMMENTS
You are most welcome to share them with me, as long as you adore me madly. No, but really. Constructive criticism will be welcomed with open arms. Find me at: kalexy@webmail.co.za

AND FINALLY
This is the end for the noble Crispin and the royal Helena. I hope you’ve enjoyed taking this journey as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. I’m not promising anything, but the two characters are already talking to me again, so maybe, eventually, I’ll knock out a sequel. Until then, au revoir, thank you, and goodnight

CONCLUSION

It seemed like the middle of the night, and there was a sound somewhere that didn’t belong there. Prying open eyes that had been crying just a little the princess scowled and reached out to light her lamp, knocking something off the table accidentally. Sliding out of bed she took the lamp and rose, almost dropping it in fright when she noticed the figure sitting in her window frame.

“What the…?”

The knight sat perched on the granite ledge as if it had been made for her, a pleasant smile plastered on her face. Putting the hand she had free on her hip Helena tilted her head at Crispin.

“Aren’t you supposed to be off in a foreign country, petrifying little foreign children?”

“Well.” The knight graced her with an even white grin. “In Lodelon, to be exact, studying the enormous statue of Pnifty Duke of Trout, where he’s wearing a cheesecloth on his head and missing vital bits.”

“And?” Bending down the princess put the lamp on the floor and placed the other hand on her hip too. “Are you lost?”

“A little.” The knight shrugged. “Can you point me in the right direction?”

“It’s that way.” Pointing a finger in a random direction the princess raised her eyebrows at the knight. “Now are you going to sit in my window the whole night?”

The knight raised her hands in mock surrender. “I’m going, I’m going… “ and then she smiled, “… but I’m not going without you.”

A slow grin spread across the blonde woman’s face, lighting up her features like a fire. Taking a sharp breath she gazed incredulously at the other woman, who raised a wicked eyebrow at her.

“Oh, Crispin!”

“Don’t run! I’m not… “

The warning came too late. The princess attempted to stop, but the momentum carried her into the knight, who summarily toppled backwards and disappeared from view.

“…. hooooolding …. Oof.”

Anxiously the princess peeked from the window. In the topiary lanterns’ lights she could just make out the knight lying sprawled on the back of a giant (and probably smiling) duck.

“Crispin?”

One hand lifted slowly and plucked a small branch from black hair.

“Crispin? I’m so sorry, Crispin, I didn’t mean to… “

Helena’s shoulders sagged dejectedly. The figure below sat up and sighed, and then tilted her head back and gazed up.

“My hand’s bleeding.”

“I’m sorry, Crispin. Though, you should have held on properly. I mean, I can’t be responsible for… “

A low laugh rose up from the topiary, punctuated by a sneeze. “Princess?”

“Yes?”

“I missed you.”

 

THE END