Intrigued by Kam

I stand in the corner of the club. I'm drinking a mojito and watching the activity around me. I like watching others more than participating, like the blonde girl on the dance floor who was basically looking to lay anyone who came near her or the manly looking dyke by the bar, eyes shifting, looking at every woman who passed by to see if she could make her move. It seemed that dating habits and rituals hadn't much changed. Human behavior is unpredictable and fascinating to watch. Sometimes you can predict what may happen and at other times, it goes beyond anything you imagined but in this environment, it always went back to two elements; the prey and the predators. You just had to figure which one you were for that evening which I rarely was either.

I get a tap on my arm. I don't bother to look at them. I'd already blown off at least 5 of them. I'm no looker but I do alright. I wasn't there to meet anyone. On the contrary, I was dragged there by my friends so I wanted to make the most of it, not to be harassed all night by desperate buggered women. I had enough issues as it was and I was happy to be alone finally after these many years. You see, I was 4 months out of a 10 year hell of a relationship and I sure wasn't interested in "meeting" any women. In fact, I've been going out of my way in not meeting anyone, staying almost like a hermit till tonight.

Another tap. God, didn't the bitch get the message the first time when I ignored her. Irritating. I guess I have to like spell it out for her. I don't bother to look at her and say,

"Just go away."

Another tap. Gah. What did I need to do to make her go away.

"Bugger off." I growl.

Then a breath by my ear and a husky, accented voice says,

"Well I would if you weren't hogging my umbrella."

I flinch and push myself out of the corner. Damn. I scoot to the left and finally look at her. In the dim and smoky air, I can't make out many features but what I can see was more her shape and she looks mighty fine, if that's what you were looking for.

Suddenly, the lights turn on and blinds both of us. It's the club's way of telling you it was closing time. My eyes adjust to the light and I do a quick sweep of her. Yep, she has a lot more features; dark brown longer than shoulder length hair, soft brown eyes, and nice lips that curl slightly revealing a small amused smile. She wears a dark tight, purple, button down shirt and form fitting jeans that did her bottom half justice. She was definitely the best looking woman I'd seen there but that didn't mean I was interested in her in the least.

"Sorry." I mutter.

"Yeah. No problem."

I couldn't place the accent. European maybe? Definitely not from around here. Okay maybe I was intrigued but not in any way interested. Nah. Not me. Sworn off women.

She grabs her umbrella and turns to walk away. My gut lurches a bit. Daaaaaammn. And the perfect ass. I swallow hard. It was hard not to react to that. She gives a backwards glance and our eyes make contact. Her eyes are so warm and inviting and I feel something inside of me start unraveling. It's only for a moment. Something's telling me to say something, anything.

"Hey!" Gah. That certainly wasn't it. She hasn't turned around and keeps walking. Damnit. What the hell was I doing but I wanted to talk to her. Just for a moment and then I'd just let her go.

"Hey Umbrella Girl!"

She stops and looks back at me. She arches one eyebrow looking quite puzzled.

Okay Kamanova, whatcha gonna do next? Crap. Hadn't thought that far ahead. Okay..okay. Move toward her. Yeah. Give me a little time to think. So I sauntered up to her.

When I reach her, I still haven't figured out what my next moves are. Give me a break here. I've been out of the dating pool for more than 10 years. I had to admit maybe I was more than intrigued and my flirting techniques were about finely honed like a dull knife. But I didn't want to flirt with her, was I?

"You're not from around here are you?"

No shit Sherlock! That's all you could come up with. I'm doomed.

Maybe she senses my ineptness and takes pity upon me.

"No I'm not. I'm from Germany."

Yeah, that was it. Her tones were similar to the ones I'd heard in the movies but her English is much better and she sounds way sexier. Wait? Did I just say that? Something must have been in my mojito. It was spiked!

She looks suspiciously at me. I should just give this up. I needed to run before I managed to further put myself to shame. She probably thinks I'm some crazy hitting on her. Geez. Damnit. Say something!

"Really? Never been there."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I want a hole to swallow me up. I was about as smooth as jagged glass. Okay I'm interested! I've said it. Much good it's doing me now. I'm looking like a fool. Can I tuck my tail now?

"You should. I like it there."

Did I say how sexy she sounds with just a few words? Mmmmh. I think I did mention it before. Crap. My mother's voice interrupts my thoughts with two words. Honesty Dear. That's what she always told me. Just be honest. Okay, wonder if it'll work. Guess the worst that could happen is she says no. But I don't want her to say no. Hell! Okay. I'm really interested. All she did was get her umbrella and here I was arguing with myself.

"Look. I'm going to be honest here. I'm not the type of person who does this often. Well, try not like at all. I mean I don't want you to think I'm some crazy."

Oh lord, I'm beginning the dig to China. Quit blabbering!! Get to the point!!

"So I was wondering. Would you like to ummm get some coffee? Not like at this moment but like sometime next week unless if this moment would work which would be crazy. Not that you're crazy I mean."

Yep, I've officially dug my way to China. Let's start digging a new path back. Holy hell. Did I mention how hot she looks? Stop!!

"We can go in separate cars or if you'd like, I'll get you a taxi. I'll have my friends vouch for me. See right over there."

I pointed at my friends who I hoped were behind me and probably wondering what the hell I was doing.

"But if you're really busy or washing your hair or have a girlfriend, I totally understand."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. She might have a girlfriend. You doofus! Why didn't you think of that before? Doomed I say. I'm doomed. Maybe I need to be digging to Timbuk2.

"If you need more references..."

"Yes."

"I'm happy to provide...wait."

I stare for a moment.

"Did you just say yes?"

Well what did that mean? Yes, you're an idiot? Yes, she needed more references? Yes, you're act like a lunatic but I might go out with you?

"Yes, I'll have coffee with you."

I light up with the biggest smile on my face. She said yes. Yes to my coffee invitation. Wait? Did that mean now or like 5 years into the future? Elation gone and new angst. Yeah, I was waaaaaaaay interested in her. What the hell? I just met her. Gah!

"So like now or like later?"

Say now please. Now, please. God, I promise to be the best person ever, Amen.

"Now seems fine but I need to let my friends know."

She said now. Elation #2!!

"No problems."

"Maybe you should let your friends know too."

"Right, yeah. That would be good. Meet you back in the corner?"

She nods and walks to her friends. I swing around. My friends were fortunately behind me but all I could think of right then is she said yes and now. I think I could have skipped my way back to them but that probably wouldn't been very cool so I try as calmly as possible to get back to them. I think they already knew and I quickly tell them what I'm doing. They start laughing and congratulating me on picking up my first woman which I kindly reminded them was not just any woman. They ooooooo and wish me good luck. I wave at them.

I hoped she was still going to meet me as I return to our original meeting spot. I think I must have like stood there for what seemed like eons. She probably left, laughing. What a doofus. She wasn't going to return. I'm a moron. I sigh. I lean back in the corner and close my eyes. Crap. Kam you're an idiot.

Tap. I didn't want to open my eyes in case it was just one of the club staff who'd come by to tell me to leave.

Tap tap. I open one eye and there she is.

She stands with her hands on her hips with a half smile. I think my heart just threw itself at her feet.

"You want me to go away?"

I want to shout, No freaking way! But I manage to control myself.

"Nope." I give her my best smile.

Yeah. I've sworn off women. I'm intrigued. That's all.