My thanks to Lawls, and the Tavern Regulars .

This is to the Cairo Kitty, the IGA, and Linda.

My mail is always answered Kamouraskan@yahoo.com

Beloved Sister.

I have no idea how I will get this letter to you. I'm sure you would come up with some clever idea or plan to arrange for it. Oh, I miss scheming with you so much, Gabby! Even when it didn't always work! :-)

Everything here is still the same. Well, not really, of course. You're not here.

There is what you might see as some good news. Your leaving seems to have inspired a few others to do the same. Perdicus has told his family that he intends to join the army, so they aren't too happy. Neither am I, but I guess I grew out of that crush, because I don't mind TOO much.

Guess who is deciding to leave town as well? (I think that she's jealous that you didn't take her with you, and she's telling everybody she'll soon be having adventures just like yours.) She, at least, thinks what you've done is great and she told me that she'll find her place just like you have.

So, Seraphin says hi! and says she's sure to meet up with you one of these days.

I still can't believe you've really left. I know that you think that you couldn't stay here. The way things here were, well, you know. But I worry so much that you've left the frypan for the fire.

After you were gone, it seemed like the whole town made a point of telling tales about Xena, about the evil things she's done and how lucky we all were that she'd left quickly. I tried not to believe them, I wanted to think that they were all lies. But I still can't believe that you can ever be safe around her.

Gabby. There were some soldiers in town for a few days who fought with her army. I got all my courage together, (and you know how little that is!) and went right up and spoke with them. They told me stories, really terrible stories. About the real pleasure she takes in fighting and killing. And that she goes absolutely berserk if she is betrayed. I am praying to Hestia that you won't be just another victim to her anger some day.

Of course, if there was good news, that means that there is bad.

Things are harder here. I'm not going to pretend that I don't get mad at you sometimes for leaving us. But other times I am so envious. Mother and I try to work the extra chores; Father rebuffs any suggestion to hire anybody, and as you might guess, he refuses to even allow us to say your name around him. He is still so angry with you.

I don't know any nice way to tell you this, but to just come out with it. I don't want you to get mad, or feel guilty, because it wasn't your fault.

When your scrolls arrived, we didn't tell Father. Dumb, huh? Because, of course he found out and went into one of his rages. He's been fine lately, but you know how he lets these things build up inside of him. He was right that hiding them was just like lying to him. I even fought him to keep your scrolls away from him, and I think he was surprised at that from me. It's just that it was so horrible. It wasn't enough for him to simply burn them. He cracked them, and tore them into shreds, one after the other, before tossing them into the stove. It was like he was trying to hurt you again, Gabrielle. Momma still says that's because he loves you so much.

I'm hoping that what was on those scrolls wasn't important. Mother and I were so relieved to have some proof that you were alive, so it didn't matter what they were about.

Anyway, Mother pulled me away before I got badly hurt, (so don't be upset) and we hid until it was over. When he left, we found your part of our room was wrecked. Everything that had been yours, all of your poems and drawings, Gabby, he burned them all.

I'm so very, very sorry, Sister.

I still have one piece that you wrote. That time? You know which time I mean. I've hidden it very carefully, and it's like having a small piece of you with me. I have always been so proud of and afraid for you but never more than that night. Even after all of the warnings to stop writing, to stop dreaming, I still remember you leaving his room, and saying nothing, just taking your quill and setting it to the parchment. Despite all of the pain you were in. I still see how your eyes were almost burning behind the tears. You never let them defeat you. You may be embarrassed by it now, but I'm not.

Resistance

When other's show me a lightning struck, blackened stump, and say 'there is death'

I will seethe power of the Gods and the strength of nature unleashed

When others shun the dark of night or rain

I will glory in their absence and dance joyously alone

When others tell me of a child born to a family that cannot feed the mouths they already have

I will believe in a hope that will grow and solve their circumstance

When the academies in Athens debate whether Quality or Beauty is in the thing or in the eye

I will know that there is beauty. Because by my will, I will find beauty there!

Oh, Gabrielle! What will you do when you find something that you cannot will to be beautiful? What will happen to your heart?

I worry about you so much. Are you truly safe now? Someday, maybe we can be together. Until then, know that I love you, and miss you with all my heart, and I will try to think of you as being happy. Despite how hard it is here, you can always come home, it can't be as bad as being with that woman, could it?

Father is coming now, so I will hide this where he won't find it.

I love you love you love you

Li