DISCLAIMERS:

COPYRIGHT: Billie and Cat are copyright by kd bard. Character or name resemblance to 'real' people living or dead is coincidental. Download it and share it with your friends, but please include the disclaimers!

SUBTEXT: This story is about two women who are committed to a caring and loving relationship, including expressions of physical. If this type of love offends you, or if love is illegal where you live, my sincerest sympathies.

VIOLENCE: None

KLEENEX RATING: 1 box

TIME LINE/CONTINUITY: This is the seventeenth installment in a modern day Uber-Xena series, starting with "The 'Commitment'" and followed by "A Family in Blood," "Personal Preferences," "Fighting City Hall," "Visions in Paradise," "What's In A Name?" "Promise Me Paradise," "While I Was Gone ...,", "Unchained Memories," "Happy Campers - NOT!" "At Loose Ends," "On Solid Ground," "Sweet Angel," "You Can Choose Your Friends, But...", "For Better Or For Worse" and "Tailspin". Since this is a continuous series, there are events mentioned within that will not make much sense if you haven't read them all in order. The complete series, along with a variety of other works, can be found on my home page at http://homepages.together.net/~warriorx/WebPage.htm.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I strongly believe that love is love, regardless of how it is packaged, so please don't flame me for believing in something so wonderful. I do however, beg for constructive criticism. Please send feedback to warriorx@together.net. A very big thank you to my wonderful beta readers ... Mom, Ili, dar, KJ, and my lovely wife, Marni. I really appreciate it. Finally, a big thank you to those who graciously host my stories and provide a forum for my expression. kd :-)

CHAPTER I

"By the gods, you're going to kill me one day," Billie exclaimed as she struggled to regain her breath.

"Whaddaya mean?" asked Cat as she rolled onto her back and stretched her arms high above her head.

"Just when I think you've outdone yourself, you hit me with something like that and totally blow me away," the dark haired woman replied.

"I don't know what you're talking about," quipped the red haired woman coyly.

Billie rolled over and pinned her wife to the bed. "Don't give me that innocent act, Red. I haven't experienced a climax like that since... since..," she repeated, trying hard to remember the last time they had enjoyed such uninhibited love making.

Cat reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Billie's ear. "Since before the breast cancer scare?" she suggested.

Billie's eyes softened as she recalled the past several weeks of anxiety and strife. Nodding slightly, she smiled and agreed. "Yeah.... since then," she commented as she too rolled onto her back, thinking for the billionth time how lucky they were that the lump was benign.

During those tense few weeks, Billie spent countless agonizing hours fretting over what her life would be like without Cat. Sure, she would go on... after all, the kids needed her, but without her soul... without her heart... without Cat's presence in her life, it would barely be worth the effort. Luckily the lump was not cancerous. Sighing deeply, she thanked the gods once more for smiling down upon them and for giving them more time to live... and love.

Cat watched Billie as a far away look crossed her partner's face, convinced Billie was recalling the past few tumultuous weeks of waiting, wondering and agonizing as they lived through a crisis that could have changed their lives forever. For the first time, Cat noticed the worry lines that had settled in around Billie's eyes. Leaning in to kiss them away, Cat felt Billie's eye lashes flutter against her cheek as her lips made delicate contact.

"Hmmmm. That feels good," Billie murmured.

"I'm sorry," Cat whispered softly as the kisses made their way to Billie's ear.

Billie's head snapped up. "For what?" she asked.

"For taking you to hell and back," Cat replied.

Rolling onto her side to face Cat, Billie reached over and ran the back of her fingers across Cat's cheek. "Kitten - that wasn't your fault. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I know," Cat began, "but still - it was a nightmare neither of us needed."

"Agreed - but it's over, and with a little luck, we'll never have to live through that again. One thing the experience taught me was to enjoy every moment we have together and not to fret about the future. Cat, we made it through - and we came out stronger in the end. Together we are invincible - our love makes that possible. Promise me you'll let it go," Billie demanded passionately.

Cat closed her eyes and allowed a lone tear to escape as she silently nodded her promise. When she opened them again, her heart nearly stopped at the love she saw overflowing from cerulean eyes. A smile immediately graced her own china-doll features.

"There! That's my girl!" Billie said happily as the smile crossed Cat's face. "So... what would you like to do today?" she asked.

Cat's brow knitted as she considered the possibilities. Suddenly a thought came to her. "I know!" she exclaimed. "Let's plan a vacation."

Billie was a bit taken back by the suggestion. "A vacation?" she asked. "What did you have in mind?"

The excitement began to grow in Cat's chest as an idea took shape. Sitting up, she crossed her legs in front of her and leaned in. "I'm not totally sure yet. Something fun. After all, we have my test results to celebrate. Let's do something that will make us appreciate life. Maybe something with a nature theme," she suggested.

Billie was immediately off the bed. Standing with her feet apart and hands on her hips, she stood her ground. "No way am I doing the camping thing, Cat. Happy Trail Campgrounds is still pretty fresh in my mind. I will not live that nightmare again!" she exclaimed vehemently.

Cat threw her head back and laughed.

"I fail to see what is so funny," Billie stated indignantly.

Resting her elbows on her knees, Cat leaned forward once more. "You are just so damned cute!" she replied.

"Cute? Cute?" Billie exclaimed in disbelief. "I wasn't so cute at Happy Trails when I was covered with poison ivy and mosquito bites!" she recalled - reminding her wife of just two of the many disasters the family had endured while camping with their friends Jen and Fred Swenson and their children a few years back.

"Billie, it won't be like that," Cat defended.

"You're damned right it won't - because I'm not going!" Billie exclaimed as she paced back and forth across the room.

Cat tried hard not to smile. "Not even if we rent a fully furnished cabin?" she asked.

Billie stopped pacing and faced her wife. "Cabin?" she asked. "A cabin is good!"

"Fully furnished cabin... running water... cooking facilities... bathroom... rain-proof... bear-proof... disaster-proof," Cat rattled off, trying hard to entice the taller woman with the comforts they would enjoy.

"Disaster proof?" Billie repeated, eyebrows high on her forehead.

"Disaster proof. I guarantee it! So... how about it?" Cat asked.

"I'm listening," Billie replied as she sat on the edge of the bed to wait for the details. After a moment or two of looking at the blank expression on Cat's face Billie became impatient. "Well?" she asked.

"Well what?" Cat replied.

"Details?" Billie responded, waving her hands in front of her impatiently.

"I don't know! The thought just came to me a moment ago. I don't have it all planned out yet!" Cat exclaimed before adding, "We'll need to do some research on-line before settling on a destination."

"Okay," Billie agreed, rising to her feet once more and collecting the clothes she had discarded around the room at the start of their lovemaking session earlier in the afternoon. "I'll go power up the computer," she said while pulling a T-shirt over her head and heading for the bedroom door. Stopping in the doorway, she turned to face Cat once more. "Oh... what time did Jen say she'd bring the girls home from the movies?" She asked.

Cat looked at the clock on the bedside table. "Jen called to say she was going to take them for ice cream after the show, then drop them off at the mall, so it will be a few hours yet. Why?" she retorted with a question of her own.

"I want to get the kids' input on our trip," she replied before disappearing through the doorway.

Cat grinned from ear to ear and leisurely climbed off the bed to collect her clothes, wondering how her tall wife could go from stubborn and defensive one moment to excited and cooperative the next.

"Don't ever change, Billie Girl... I love you just the way you are," she mumbled under her breath as she followed in the wake of her excited wife.

**********

Billie made her way to the room situated off the main living area which doubled as an office and guest room. Sitting in front of the computer, she pressed the power button and sat back to wait for the desktop unit to come alive. Within moments, she had logged onto the Internet and called up her favorite search engine.

"Okay," she said to herself. "What should I search for... Campgrounds?... National parks?... Cabins?"

Settling on 'national parks', she pressed the enter button and within seconds was presented with a long list of websites.

"Damn! It'll take me all day to go through these," she mused out loud. "Maybe Cat can help me narrow down the search."

Rising from her seat in front of the computer, she made her way to the kitchen where she found Cat standing at the counter with her back to her. Cat was obviously crying as she reached up to wipe her eyes. Billie stopped short at the sight as gut-wrenching anxiety immediately gripped her stomach.

"Cat! Cat, honey - what's wrong?" she asked as she approached the woman and placed her hands on Cat's shoulders.

Cat turned around and sniffed loudly. "Onions!" she exclaimed. "I decided to start a spaghetti sauce for dinner."

Billie raised one eyebrow to Cat. "Onions?" she asked.

Cat sniffed again. "Yeah. Wanna help?" she asked

"You actually want me to help you cook?" Billie asked in disbelief.

Secretly hoping Billie would decline, Cat slapped her own forehead with the heel of her palm. "Jesus! What was I thinking?" she exclaimed in exaggeration. "You're right - we want this to be edible," she added.

"Hey! Do you have to be so brutally honest? Can't you just humor me for once?" Billie asked, feigning mock indignation.

Cat just smiled, while gently patting Billie on the face with an open palm. "Dear heart," she began, "have you ever had food poisoning? Trust me - it's not fun. No... I think I've got this one covered."

"Good, because I'm actually in the middle of an Internet search for campgrounds and I need some advice," Billie explained.

Cat turned back to her cutting board and reached for a large clove of garlic. "Okay - shoot. What can I help you with?" she asked as she started to peel the skin from the fragrant clove.

Billie reached for the wooden spoon on the stove next to the frying pan where Cat had begun to brown the ground beef and onions, and absently stirred the mixture as she explained her dilemma to Cat. "Well, I entered 'national parks' into the search engine and over 25,000 websites were returned. I need to narrow down the search. Got any suggestions?"

"Why did you choose national parks?" Cat asked as she began to chop the garlic.

"I don't know. I guess it sounded like a good place to start. National parks are usually pretty well maintained, and there are some really great parks to choose from... Acadia, Yosemite, the Grand Canyon - among others. I thought it might be good for the kids to see some of the national landmarks," she explained as she tasted the browning meat mixture, savoring the taste of browned beef and onions.

Cat scraped a large pile of chopped garlic into the pan and watched as Billie diligently stirred the small white slivers into the meat. "Sounds good to me," Cat commented. "Why don't you do a search within results using the word 'landmarks'?" she suggested.

Billie spooned another scoop of meat mixture into her mouth.

"Hey... you're gonna eat it all before I add the sauce if you keep that up!" Cat exclaimed.

"I can't help it! It tastes so good!" Billie replied before finally putting the spoon down onto the stove next to the pan. "So narrow the search using 'landmarks', huh? Sounds good. Thanks!" she added before leaning in to kiss the smaller woman. "Hmmm... I don't know what tastes better - you or the meat mixture!" she said, scooting away just in time to avoid the rolled up towel that Cat had snapped in the direction of her rear end.

"Gee thanks! It's not every day someone tells me I taste like chopped meat!" Cat teased as she threatened Billie with the rolled up towel once more before the taller woman escaped the kitchen.

Billie chuckled as she made her escape and returned to the office. Sitting down in front of the computer once more, she typed in 'landmarks' to refine her search of national parks and managed to narrow the field from more than 25,000 to just under 3,000.

"Hmph! Well, I guess I've got my work cut out for me," she murmured, still dismayed at the thousands of sites presented to her.

Sitting back in her seat, she stared at the screen for a few moments before deciding to make a list of all the amenities she thought would make their vacation comfortable. After a half hour, her list included the words landmarks, cabin, electricity, plumbing, swimming, hiking, horseback riding, kayaking, fishing, biking, and of course, for Cat's sake - shopping. Feeling good about her list, she typed it into the search engine to further narrow down the 3,000 websites.

"Yes!" Billie shouted as the resulting search yielded 213 sites. "That I can manage!"

Two hours and 213 sites later, Billie once again sat back and looked at the list of notes she had hand written on the pad of paper by her side. Quite satisfied with her progress, she threw her head back and stretched her neck back and forth, then closed her eyes. Seconds later, her eyes snapped open as her mind registered the enticing aroma wafting from the kitchen. Rising to her feet, she followed her nose straight to the pan of spaghetti sauce that was simmering on the stove. Lifting the cover, she inhaled deeply then lowered the spoon into the rich carmine sauce. A look of pure anticipated bliss graced her features as she brought the treasure to her lips.

"Caught 'cha red handed!" a voice said from the doorway to the basement.

A startled Billie jumped two feet into the air, dropping the spoon into the sauce and the cover of the sauce pan to the floor.

"For crying out loud, Cat! You scared the shit out of me!" Billie exclaimed as she reached for a paper towel to clean up the sauce that had splattered to the floor from the inside of the lid.

Cat stood there with one hand hiding the grin forming on her mouth. "Serves you right," she said. "If you had your way, the sauce would be gone before dinner time."

Billie discarded the soiled paper towel into the trash then looked at Cat with an exaggerated pout on her face.

Cat narrowed her eyes at Billie. "Don't you dare use that pout with me, Billie Jean Charland!" Cat exclaimed.

Billie continued to pout... soon adding puppy dog eyes to the fray.

Cat spared one glance at the pitiful look on her wife's face then threw her arms into the air. "Okay! Okay! You win! Help yourself!" she said, gesturing toward the stove.

Billie grinned broadly then retrieved the spoon that had fallen into the pan. Within seconds, she was savoring the spicy red sauce... eyes closed... an orgasmic look on her face. "Damn, you're a good cook, Cat," she exclaimed.

Cat wrapped her arms around Billie's waist. "That response is worth allowing you to cheat," she said as she planted a kiss in the 'vee' above Billie's breasts then laid her head in the spot vacated by her lips.

Billie's arms soon made their way around Cat's shoulders, holding her in a firm hug for several moments before she remembered the progress she had made on her search for vacation spots.

"Hey," Billie said. "Wanna see what I've come up with for possible vacation destinations?"

Cat looked up at her wife. "Sure," she replied, taking Billie's hand and allowing the taller woman to lead her into the guestroom.

Upon entering the room, Cat sat on the edge of the bed while Billie retrieved her notes from the desk. Approaching the bed, Billie motioned for Cat to scoot over to make room for her to sit. Rather than move over, Cat climbed onto the bed and laid down with her head on the pillow, making room for Billie to join her. With the two ladies lying side by side on their backs, they reviewed the notes Billie had taken during her Internet search.

"So, I've narrowed down the possible destinations to Acadia National Park in Maine, Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, Redwood National Forest in California, Yosemite National Park in California and the Grand Canyon in Colorado," Billie began.

Cat followed along while Billie read from the notes she was holding above them as they laid on their backs. "That's a pretty diverse list. What made you choose those locations?" Cat asked.

"Well, I was looking for places where there was enough to do to keep everyone busy. You know... hiking, kayaking, horseback riding, fishing, biking..." Billie replied.

"And shopping!" Cat quickly added.

"And shopping," Billie confirmed. "In fact, one of the major attractions of Acadia in Maine was the Antique shops all along the east coast... oh... and the lighthouses. Apparently, there are 46 of them along the coast of Maine," she added.

"Cool! So have you settled on any one of them?" Cat asked, looking once more at the list.

Billie laid the list of notes on her stomach and crossed her fingers over them before looking at Cat. "Well for starters, this needs to be a family decision. I have my preference, but I'd really want to get everyone's input before settling on one... and I'm open to other destinations that aren't on the list. Any thoughts?" she asked.

"Before I put my two-cents in, I'd like to see more information on each of these parks," Cat replied.

"Fair enough," Billie said. "I'll print out a package on each, then we can review it with the kids during dinner."

"Sounds like a plan," Cat added as she rolled to her side to face her wife. Reaching over, she traced the side of Billie's face with her index finger as she smiled broadly into the dark haired woman's face.

"What's that smile for?" Billie asked, smiling back.

"You're such a nerd," Cat commented teasingly.

Billie's eyebrows shot into her hairline. "Nerd?" she replied incredulously.

"Yeah... I mean, look at your notes... so complete and orderly," Cat observed.

Billie looked at her notes once more and realized Cat was right. Looking back at Cat, she grinned sheepishly. "Okay, I admit it... I'm a nerd. Got a problem with that?" she asked.

"No! No... not at all. Nerds are good. Especially sexy nerds," Cat replied before placing a kiss on the end of Billie's nose.

Billie rolled over to lay partially on top of Cat. "Sexy, huh?" she quipped as she lowered her lips to the smaller woman's beneath her.

"Hello there!" came a loud voice from the kitchen.

Billie's head snapped up as she strained to look over her shoulder. "Great!" she cursed under her breath. "That woman has remarkable timing," she added, causing Cat to chuckle. Rolling off her wife, she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. "In the guest room, Jen!" she called out loudly.

Seconds later, a curly blonde head appeared in the doorway. "Why is it every time I come over here, you two are in a bedroom?" Jen asked.

"Whatever do you mean?" Cat asked innocently.

"What do I mean?" Jen asked from her position in the doorway. "What do I mean? Does this sound familiar? 'Oh my God, Cat. Harder! Harder!' 'Billie! Billie! I'm coming! Baby... more - please!'" Jen said in a loud and orgasmic voice as she ran her own hands up and down her body to exaggerate her point.

Billie and Cat's eyes met, each one's face beet red with embarrassment.

"Ah... I hope you're making that up, Jen," Billie said, unable to look at her friend's face.

"Nope! On the way to the movies, I stopped in to see if you wanted to go with us, and when I came into the house, the two of you where nowhere in sight. I walked through the kitchen and living room looking for you, and by the time I reached the bottom of the stairs to the second story, the sound of your little play time hit me square in the face. Thank god the kids waited in the car! Geesh! Is that ALL you two do when the kids aren't home?" she asked, teasingly.

Billie and Cat's discomfort increased tenfold when they realized their friend really did eavesdrop on their lovemaking earlier in the day.

Trying to make the best of an embarrassing situation, Cat scurried off the bed and stood her ground in front of their friend. "You're just jealous," she said in their defense.

Jen threw her hands into the air. "You're damned right I am! How do you two do it? Tell me your secret! Please!!! I'll pay anything!" Jen begged, falling to her knees and clasping her hands in front of her as though in prayer.

"Our secret? That's easy," Billie said. "Cat is a nymphomaniac."

Billie's comment drew a wide-eyed, shocked expression from Cat.

"Nymphomaniac?" repeated Jen, disbelief tingeing her voice.

Recovering quickly after a covert glance from Billie, Cat fell easily into the teasing.

"Oh yeah," Cat admitted. "I'm a big-time nympho. Gotta have it at least four or five times a day! Luckily, Billie is up for the challenge!"

Jen looked back and forth between her friends. "So.... is it contagious?" she asked hopefully.

"Nope - gotta be born with it," Cat replied.

"Drats!" Jen exclaimed before another thought came to her. "Can it be learned?" she asked.

"That depends on who the student is... you or Fred." Cat answered.

"Fred. Definitely Fred," Jen quipped. "I have no problems in that arena. After all I'm approaching 40 - and you know what they say about a woman's sex drive at 40. Fred, on the other hand, like most men, reached his sexual peak in his 20's!" she explained.

Billie draped her arm around her friend as they walked together into the kitchen, Cat following close behind. "Jen, my friend, you don't need nympho lessons - you need a woman," she said.

"Got anyone in mind?" Jen asked jokingly.

"Billie!" Cat exclaimed, scolding her wife for what seemed like the hundredth time for urging their heterosexual best friend into a lifestyle that didn't suit her.

"Hey... what's wrong with that suggestion? Think about it - two women approaching 40 at the same time! Can't get any better than that!" Billie explained, casting a meaningful look at Cat that caused the red head to blush to the roots of her hair..

"Sounds tempting," Jen said, "but to tell you the truth, Fred's kind of grown on me over the years, and as goofy and bumbling as he can be, I love him dearly."

"Yeah - he's a good guy. He's kind of grown on us too," Cat added.

"He sure is fun to be with. Speaking of which, we are planning another camping vacation. Wanna come?" Billie asked as she set up the coffee pot while Cat stirred the spaghetti sauce and Jen sat at the table.

"Camping? I'm surprised you agreed to go, Billie. Especially after that disastrous trip to Happy Trails a few years back," Jen commented as she helped herself to a spoonful of Cat's spaghetti sauce. "Ummm, this is good, Cat!," she added as an aside.

"Oh - it won't be like that. I can assure you if there was any chance at all it would be like Happy Trails, I wouldn't be going. Cat promised me it would be disaster proof," Billie explained.

"Disaster proof, huh? How so?" Jen asked.

Cat turned around and leaned her backside against the countertop as she watched the interaction between her wife and friend.

Billie poured the water into the coffee pot and turned on the switch before answering her friend. "Picture this," she said, turning around, making a picture frame with her hands. "Cabin, plumbing, electricity, rain-proof, bear-proof, swimming, hiking, kayaking, horseback riding..."

"Whoa... stop right there. Horseback riding? Count me out!" Jen exclaimed. "My ass still hurts from that god-awful ride I took at Happy Trails!"

"Horseback riding is optional, my friend," Cat piped in. "We'd really like all of you to join us if you can."

"When are you planning this trip?" Jen asked.

"Well, Billie is currently working on a case that should wrap up in early August. So we'd like to take the trip a week or two before school starts again," Cat replied.

Jen considered the timetable for the trip before suddenly exclaiming, "Damn!"

"What is it?" Billie asked, a bit startled by the outburst.

"Well, you know I start my new teaching position when the school year begins, right?" Jen asked. Seeing two nodding heads, she continued. "Well, I'm taking my final class this summer to be certified and it literally ends just days before school begins. Damn! I really would have loved to go, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass this time," she explained.

Cat walked over and hugged her friend. "That's all right. There'll be plenty of chance to vacation together during school breaks - or next summer."

"Damn!" Jen said again. "I'm really sorry."

Billie placed three coffee cups on the table and retrieved the cheese cake from the refrigerator, placing it in front of the two ladies. After collecting plates and forks from the cupboard, she pulled out a chair and sat down as Cat dished out the dessert.

"No problem, Jen," Billie said. "Like Cat said - there'll be plenty of opportunities to vacation together later."

"So where are you going?" Jen asked as she accepted a plate of cheese cake from Cat, "Thanks, Cat."

"We're looking at several places....." Billie began as the ladies enjoyed the next two hours of dessert and lively conversation.

***********************************************************************************************

CHAPTER II

Billie spent the rest of the afternoon gathering information on-line for the pared down list of five potential vacation destinations while Cat lazed in the overstuffed chair in the living room, reading a book. Every now and again, Cat would raise her head and smile in the direction of the guest room as various exclamations reached her ears; exclamations ranging from impatient curses to gasps of surprise as something unexpected or exciting appeared on the computer screen.

Finally, with a stiff neck and sore lower back, Billie called it quits and shut down the computer. Retrieving the stack of information she had sent to the printer from various Internet sites, she carefully collated and stapled each packet in preparation for their discussion with the kids at dinner that evening. She felt a sense of excitement building in anticipation of a relaxing and fun-filled week alone with her family in the woods. Her only regret was that they still had two weeks to wait before the case she was working on went to court. It would be a long two weeks.

Rising from her seat at the desk, Billie raised her arms high into the air and clasped her hands above her head. Stretching from side to side, she enjoyed the muted sound of vertebrae cracking into place as a mild rush of heat followed in its wake. Feeling relaxed after her stretch, she gathered her papers and went in search of Cat, whom she easily spotted as she entered the living room.

"Hey love," Cat said as she made eye contact with the tall beauty stealthily making her way across the carpeted floor. As she watched Billie approach, she noticed that the look of satisfaction on her wife's face made her even more beautiful - more so than she could ever imagine. As the tall woman approached, she felt a familiar stirring in the center of her being.

"Hey there," Billie said as she reached Cat's chair and leaned over to tenderly kiss her wife.

"You look very pleased with yourself," Cat observed.

"I am," Billie admitted as she sat on the arm of Cat's chair. Fanning the stack of papers in her hand, she explained. "I found all sorts of exciting information about all five National Parks. It's going to be a tough choice."

"Can I see?" Cat asked as she reached for the papers.

"Sure," Billie replied, handing the stack of papers over to Cat before rising to her feet. "Want something to drink?" she asked as she headed into the kitchen.

"Tea sounds good," Cat replied without looking up from the papers she was reading.

"Tea it is! I'll be back in a few," Billie threw over her shoulder.

Entering the kitchen, Billie immediately spotted the spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove. As she approached the stove, she forced herself to reach over the sauce pan for the tea pot which rested on the burner behind it. With all the willpower she could muster, Billie turned away from the stove and headed to the sink where she rinsed, then filled the teapot with water before placing it back on the burner. Suddenly, all resolve drifted away as the enticing mixture of sauce and herbs rose to her nostrils and rendered her totally incapable of resisting. Sparing a quick glance toward the living room, she lifted the lid from the pan and nearly fainted as a rush of spicy Italian aroma assaulted her senses. Reaching for the spoon, she dipped it into the sauce and brought it to her nose, intending to savor every moment before finally treating her tastebuds to the flavorful sauce.

Just as she was about to taste the liquid ambrosia, the kitchen door swung open. "Hi, Mom!" Tara quipped as she entered the room. "Hmmm! What smells so good?" she asked, dropping her shopping bag on the floor by the door and heading straight for the stove.

"My spaghetti sauce. Want a taste?" Billie asked seriously.

"Your spaghetti sauce?" Tara said in disbelief. "Get out! You made spaghetti sauce?" she added.

"Hey! It could happen!" Billie replied with mock indignation.

"Is it edible?" Tara asked seriously as she eyed the rich red mixture on the spoon suspiciously.

"It's great. Here - have a taste," Billie urged, the hint of a grin showing on her otherwise serious face.

Tara looked doubtful, but hunger overcame reason as she agreed to taste the sauce. Hunger was quickly overcome by surprise as she realized how succulent and savory the sauce was. "Holy Shit, Mom! That is good!" Tara exclaimed.

Billie narrowed her eyes at Tara. "Holy Shit indeed! Don't let your mother hear you talk like that or both our hides will be hanging on the line - yours for swearing, and mine for letting you!" Billie scolded before quickly regaining her composure. "So you like it, huh?" she asked.

"Like it?... I love it!" Tara exclaimed.

"Love what?" came a young voice from the doorway.

Tara and Billie both turned to see Skylar straggling in from shopping at the mall with Tara and Karissa. Billie had all she could do not to burst out laughing as she noticed the exaggerated makeup adorning her 11 year old daughter's face. It was so poorly applied it closely resembled a clown's face.

Billie looked at Tara and tried hard to contain herself. "So, who did your sister's makeup?" she whispered to the 15 year old.

Tara saw the twinkle in her mother's eyes and immediately recognized her attempts to stay composed. "Actually, she did it herself," Tara explained. "They had a sale on makeup at the boutique and they allowed the customers to try it on before buying it."

"Oh... I see," Billie said, at a total loss for words. Turning so that Skylar couldn't see her face, she whispered to Tara, "You actually let her walk around the mall like that?"

Tara grinned. "Karissa and I made her walk way ahead of us so no one would know she was with us," the teenager hoarsely whispered to her mother.

"What's cooking? It smells really good!" Skylar asked, totally oblivious to the discussion between her sister and mother on the topic of her cosmetic makeover.

"Spaghetti sauce. Mom made it," Tara answered.

"No way! Mommy can't cook!" Skylar exclaimed loudly, not even thinking about hurting her mother's feelings.

Billie suddenly realized that her younger daughter had returned a quip for a quip as they traded unintentional barbs... Billie about Skylar's makeup, and Skylar about Billie's cooking ability.

Well, turn about's fair play, she thought as she turned to answer her daughter. "You know I'm not a totally rotten cook," she said. "Here, have a bite," she added, spooning another taste of sauce from the pan.

Skylar backed away. "I'm not eating that!" she insisted, convinced it would be the next closest thing to eating doggy poop.

"I'll eat it!" Tara offered as she took the spoon from Billie and licked it clean.

"Billie? Billie, honey, would you please stir my spaghetti sauce while you're in there?" Cat's voice was suddenly heard from the living room.

Tara and Skylar looked at each other and then at the dark haired woman before them whose face very clearly showed her guilt.

"You lied!" Tara exclaimed. "Get her!" she shouted as both girls chased Billie into the living room where she hid behind Cat's chair. Pointing to her daughters, she felt it necessary to state the obvious, "Ah... don't forget the cook is my girlfriend."

Cat immediately rose to her feet and looked at Billie like she was growing antennae from her forehead. "What's going on here?" she asked, standing between her daughters and her wife.

"Mom said she made the spaghetti sauce!" Tara explained, pointing to the guilty looking Billie cowering behind Cat.

Cat's hands immediately went to her hips as she looked at Billie with raised eyebrows. "Oh really?" she asked. Looking back at her daughters, she stepped aside and gestured toward Billie with both hands. "Have at it, girls!" she said, grinning from ear to ear as the two young ladies wrestled the older woman to the floor and administered tickle torture until she surrendered.

"Okay - that's enough. Why don't the two of you head upstairs and wash up before dinner. I'll put the spaghetti on to cook in a few minutes. Okay?" Cat suggested.

The girls immediately abandoned their perch on top of Billie and did as their mother asked while Cat stood over Billie, hands once more on her hips, shaking her head in disbelief. "You'll never learn, will you?" she said jokingly as she reached down and helped Billie to her feet.

"So much for, 'the cook is my girlfriend'!" Billie deadpanned. "I could have used some help here, you know."

"You're lucky I didn't join them. Did you really think you could fool them into thinking you cooked dinner?" Cat asked.

Billie looked insulted. "You make it sound like I can't cook at all, Cat," she pouted.

Cat's eyebrows once more took up residence in her hair line as she looked at Billie.

Finally, the obvious became unbearable. "Okay! Okay! I admit I can't cook... but a girl's gotta have a little fun now and then - ya know?" she admitted, grinning from ear to ear.

Cat stood on tip toes to kiss her tall wife. "You're lucky you're cute," she said.

Billie was only half listening as she heard a sound coming from the driveway. "Seth is home from work!" she exclaimed, running into the kitchen and directly for the pan of spaghetti sauce where she stood stirring it - a look of pure mischief on her face.

Cat stood in the kitchen doorway to watch her wife's antics, shaking her head from side to side, a wide grin on her face.

Seth came into the house and immediately stopped short to take a deep breath. "Don't tell me - spaghetti for dinner, right?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah," Billie said, scooping a spoonful of sauce from the pan and holding it out to her son. "Come have a taste of my sauce - you're gonna love it," she added.

A 17 year old Seth, taller than Billie by at least three inches, stopped in front of his mother and cocked his eyebrow with a look that was 'so Billie', Cat had to stifle a laugh from her position in the doorway. "Your sauce?" he asked before devouring the contents of the spoon.

Never breaking eye contact with his mother, Seth reached up and patted Billie on the side of the face. "Nice try, Mom... nice try," he said before heading toward the living room. Stopping in front of Cat in the doorway, he leaned down and hugged the smaller woman before placing a kiss on her cheek. "Great sauce, Ma," he said to her before winking and walking away. "I'm gonna shower before dinner. I'll be down in a few," he said, chuckling as he walked away.

Billie turned toward Cat with an astonished expression on her face, totally at a loss for words at her son's obvious betrayal.

Cat smiled ear to ear. "They know you so well, my love. They know you so well!"

Suddenly the whistling tea pot announced its presence as the ladies dissolved into laughter.

**********

"Ma, you've outdone yourself!" Seth exclaimed between chews. "This spaghetti is the best!"

"Yeah, Mama... It's really good," Tara added stressing the word 'Mama'.

Cat smiled as she caught Tara's intimation.

"What about you, Sweet Pea. Do you like it?" Billie asked her youngest daughter who had stuffed her mouth so full of spaghetti, all she could do in reply was nod vigorously.

"So, how was work today, Seth?" Cat asked her son as she helped herself to a piece of garlic bread.

"It was okay. Busy... but okay. We were out straight all day! I spent the whole day bagging groceries! My boss said it will slow down as school gets closer to starting," he explained."

"Well, I hope it slows down enough for you to get a week off in the middle of August," Billie said.

Seth frowned. "Why would I need a week off?" he asked.

The turn in the conversation caught the attention of the two girls who waited attentively for Billie's reply.

"Mama and I were thinking that we need to celebrate her test results by taking a vacation. What do you think?" She asked as she looked around the table at the children.

"Where are we going?" Skylar asked.

"Well, that's what we'd like to discuss with all of you," Cat answered. "Mom spent hours on line today looking up a few spots. We have a few suggestions, but we'd like to hear your ideas as well."

"What kind of vacation are we talking about?" Seth asked. "I mean... are we going to an amusement park, or on a cruise, or something like that?"

"We were thinking more along the lines of a camping trip," Billie replied.

"I thought you said you'd never go camping again," Tara interjected.

Cat smiled as she sat back to watch Billie wriggle out of this one.

"I know I said that, but this won't be like the last camping trip we went on. First, we need to make sure the weather is cooperating... then we need to pick a place that has cabins so we don't have to camp out in tents and have to worry about rain and bears," Billie explained.

"It sounds kind of boring. What's there to do in the woods?" Tara asked.

"Depending on where we go, there are plenty of things to do to keep us all busy," Cat replied.

"Like what?" Sklyar questioned.

"Well, there's hiking, kayaking, fishing, biking, horseback riding... and depending on where we go, there will be things to see in the surrounding communities. We might even camp somewhere close to that amusement park Seth was talking about," Billie explained.

"Sounds cool! When do we go?" Seth asked.

Billie smiled at her son's willing and cooperative nature.

"I still think it sounds boring. Can Kelly come with us?" Tara asked.

Cat and Billie exchanged a contemplative glance in response to Tara's question.

Kelly was Tara's age, a military brat who had lived in numerous places around the globe as her family followed her father's career in the Marine Corps. She had moved into the neighborhood several months earlier and soon hooked up with Tara through mutual friends. The two girls seem to hit it off immediately, although Cat thought that Kelly's more stiff military-type mannerisms (no doubt learned from her father) made her an odd bedfellow for Tara's more laid back style.

"We were kind of hoping to make this just a family trip, sweetie," Cat explained. "Not even the Swenson's are coming this time."

"Oh man!" Tara whined. "It's really going to be boring without Kelly or Karissa."

"If Kelly goes, can Missy come too?" Skylar asked hopefully.

"Okay... time out," Billie interrupted, making a 'T' with her hands. "Like Mama said, this is supposed to be a family camping trip. We rarely spend time with just each other these days... except at the dinner table. This will be fun if you give it a chance. Okay?" she asked, looking around the table while waiting for responses.

Tara crossed her arms in front of her and pouted while Skylar and Seth both voiced their willingness to join in.

"Tara?" Cat prompted her daughter.

"Come on, Tare - it'll be fun," Seth said, playfully punching his sister lightly on the arm. "Kelly won't mind. It might even do you two some good to be apart for a week," he added.

The contemplative gaze shared earlier by Billie and Cat became adorned by a frown on Cat's face, and one raised eyebrow on Billie's as they absorbed Seth's remark.

Tara looked at her brother and begrudgingly smiled at the puppy-dog face he was giving her while silently pleading with her to go along.

In exasperation, and as a way of surrendering without losing face, Tara threw her hands into the air. "Aarrgghh!!! Okay... Okay - I'll go. Geesh!" she exclaimed.

"Great!" Billie exclaimed. "So the next question is - where?"

"Mama said you did some research on a few places. What did you have in mind?" Seth asked Billlie.

Billie excitedly jumped to her feet and retrieved the stack of papers she had printed out earlier in the afternoon from the counter top by the sink. Tossing the packets on the table, she encouraged the kids to browse through them. While they read, Billie walked around the table, excitedly talking about each place.

"I thought it might be fun to visit a National Park and see some of the things we only hear about on TV or in books... for example, Old Faithful Geyser in Yellowstone, or maybe the Grand Canyon, or maybe even the huge redwood trees in California. Of course, we could go somewhere else if you've got other ideas," Billie offered.

"I like Yellowstone. Don't Yogi Bear and BooBoo live there, Mama?" Skylar asked her mother.

Cat threw her head back and laughed. "I think they live in Jellystone National Park, sweetie," she said, cupping the side of her daughter's face with an open palm.

"Yellowstone sounds okay to me," Tara said. "It might be cool to see Old Faithful."

"Seth?" Billie asked, waiting for her son's input.

"The Grand Canyon sounded good to me, but now that I think about it, there's probably more to do at Yellowstone, so I guess you can count me in too," he replied.

"Mama?" Billie asked, looking at Cat for her suggestion.

Cat smiled at her wife, knowing her reply was simply a formality, as Billie had confided to her earlier that Yellowstone was her first choice as well. "I think the kids have made an excellent choice," Cat said, smiling at her children.

"Jellystone it is. Yogi - here we come!" Billie exclaimed as Skylar's giggles filled the room.

**********

Billie and Cat laid side by side in their bed; Billie with her hands locked behind her head, and Cat with hands clasped on top of her stomach. Both women were looking straight up at the ceiling. The house was quiet, with Skylar sleeping soundly in her bed, and Seth and Tara watching a movie in the family room. The time on the clock read 11:48 p.m.

"I'm glad the kids picked Yellowstone," Billie said to the woman lying beside her. "That was my choice as well, but I really didn't want to influence the decision unless it was deadlocked," she added.

"Yellowstone will be fun," Cat agreed, albeit a bit distractedly.

Billie noticed that Cat had become emotionally distant shortly after their discussion with the children at dinner. Knowing that Cat sometimes needed her own space, she didn't press the issue during the evening, but now, at nearly midnight, and with the children out of hearing range, she called the red haired woman to task on her remote behavior.

"Cat, are you all right?" Billie asked, looking over at her wife.

Cat spared a glance at Billie. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Unlocking her hands, Billie rolled to her side and propped herself up on one elbow. Leaning slightly over Cat, she reached forward and traced the side of Cat's face with her index finger. Cat smiled in response.

"You seem distracted," Billie stated. "Especially after our discussion with the kids at dinner. Are you sure everything is all right?"

Cat returned her gaze to the ceiling, avoiding Billie's eyes, and remained silent for longer than Billie could bear. Reaching over, Billie placed her palm on Cat's cheek and gently turned the smaller woman's face toward her. "Kitten," she said softly. "Please tell me what's bothering you."

Cat met Billie's gaze as the piercing blue eye held her captive and compelled her to speak her heart. "Billie, I'm worried about Tara," she admitted.

"Tara? I don't understand," Billie replied.

"Didn't you hear what Seth said to her tonight?" Cat asked, deep concern tingeing her voice.

"Seth said a lot of things to her tonight," Billie answered, not really sure which part of the dinner conversation had upset her wife.

Cat suddenly scrambled to her knees on the bed and faced her wife and threw her arms out to the sides. "I can't believe you missed it," Cat said incredulously.

Billie frowned. "Cat, I caught everything that was said. What I don't know, is which part has upset you so," Billie replied firmly, starting to become irritated with Cat.

Cat covered her face with her hands and inhaled deeply, then slowly exhaled to regain her composure. Finally, she dropped her hands from her face and looked at Billie once more. "I'm talking about the comment Seth made concerning Kelly," Cat explained. "Didn't you think that was kind of odd?" she asked.

Before answering, Billie maneuvered herself into a cross-legged seated position in front of Cat. Resting her elbows on her knees, she looked directly at Cat. "I found the comment enlightening, but not odd," Billie replied as she watched a look of disbelief flood Cat's features. Before Cat could speak again, Billie continued. "Cat - if the comment truly meant what we think it did, you shouldn't be surprised. Shannon and Julie speculated as much a few months ago after meeting Tara just once," Billie pointed out, reminding Cat of the comments her clients Shannon and Julie Nash had made during a cookout.

Cat's demeanor deflated visibly at Billie's words. Seeing the impact her comment had on her wife, Billie reached forward and lifted Cat's chin so that their eyes met.

"Cat, honey. Talk to me," Billie insisted.

Cat looked at her wife and allowed a collage of emotions to show on her face as she faced the paradox of not wanting for her daughter, the very thing that had made her so happy for the past ten years.

Billie watched the parade of emotions invade Cat's face, and felt the panic radiate from her wife. Finally, when it reached the point that Billie thought Cat would explode, the smaller woman sprung from the bed and started to pace back and forth across the room, one hand on her hip, and the other worrying the bangs on her forehead.

Wanting to get to the root of Cat's behavior, Billie also scurried off the bed and stood directly in Cat's path, effectively stopping the smaller woman in her tracks. Taking Cat by the shoulders, she shook the woman slightly. "Cat, you're about to explode. Now talk to me," she demanded.

Tears filled Cat's eyes. "Billie, I don't want Tara to be gay," she admitted.

Billie took Cat into her arms and held her close until the trembling in the smaller woman's body subsided. Finally, stepping back, Billie held out her hand to Cat and led her to the bed where she once again took her wife into her arms. After several moments of silently communicating through their closeness, Billie broke the spell.

"Cat, we need to talk about this. Please tell me why you don't want our daughter to enjoy the kind of love we share," she pleaded.

"Billie, I love you with everything that I am. I would never change one thing about our lives together... and I would give my life to guarantee all three of our children the depth of love and devotion we share. Honey, it has nothing to do with the potential happiness Tara could experience in a relationship such as ours," Cat replied.

"Then I don't understand, Cat. On one hand you say you don't want Tara to be gay, yet on the other, you want her to be as happy as we are," Billie stated.

Cat removed herself from Billie's embrace and sat up. Swinging her legs to the side of the bed, she sat with her back to Billie. Billie propped herself up on one elbow, waiting for Cat to speak. After several moments of contemplative silence, Billie reached out and placed her hand on Cat's shoulder, causing the smaller woman to jump.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to startle you," Billie apologized.

Rising to her feet, Cat turned to face Billie and folded her arms around her middle, hugging herself to ward off the anxious feelings that were rising within her chest.

"No, that's all right. I'm okay," Cat said before beginning to pace across the room.

This time, instead of stopping her, Billie remained where she was on the bed, sensing Cat had something important to get off her chest. Cat paced back and forth, rubbing her hands nervously up and down her own arms as she cast uneasy glances at Billie.

"Billie, I have told you before that growing up gay wasn't easy for me," Cat began. "Sure, my family embraced me with open arms. Mom and Dad, and all three of my sisters accepted me unconditionally. And of course, Grandmas Jan and Mel - well... I guess their relationship states the obvious. But beyond my family circle, things weren't as nice. I was ridiculed at school, and made to feel dirty and broken by our church. Yes, believe it or not, at one point, my whole family were church goers, but when it became obvious that I was being cast out because of the church's narrow minded view of what is normal, my family chose to stand by me."

Billie repositioned herself on the bed so that she was sitting upright and resting against the headboard as she watched Cat pace.

"High school had its rough moments. Twenty years ago, there was no such thing as gay/straight alliances at school. There was no protection from the students or the administration. As horrible as it sounds, I was actually ridiculed by teachers," Cat continued.

"But Cat - that was twenty years ago. Things have changed. Society overall is more accepting now," Billie argued.

Cat stopped pacing and looked at Billie. "Yes, things have changed, however homosexuals will never be totally accepted in society. So many communities maintain a strong sense of insiders and outsiders. People who are different in some way from the rest of the community - especially young people - are marginalized and discriminated against by everyone. I don't want that for Tara," she explained.

"Tara doesn't strike me as someone who will accept second-class citizen status, Cat. She is strong enough not to allow herself to be discriminated against," Billie pointed out.

"You are right - Tara is strong, however there will always be individuals who live in the stone age who will strike without warning. There will always be a Gerald Manning lurking nearby to torture, maim and punish those he feels don't fit his warped sense of reality," Cat said, her voice rising to near hysteria by the time she finished her speech.

Billie was shocked into action at the mention of Gerald Manning's name - the man who raped Cat in college, and the one responsible for Tara's conception. Scrambling off the bed, she went quickly to Cat and took the smaller woman into her arms. "It's all right, Cat. I've got you, baby. Let it go," she purred into Cat's ear.

Cat wrapped her arms around Billie's waist and squeezed tightly. "Billie, you don't know the whole story of Tara's conception," she confessed.

"Shhh, it's all right. You don't have to tell me," Billie assured her wife before placing a kiss on the side of Cat's head.

"No, Billie. The memories have been haunting me for sixteen years. It's time to let them go," she said, breaking free of Billie's embrace and walking a few steps away. Reaching up, she wiped the tears from her face and inhaled deeply before continuing. "The rape was not my first encounter with Gerald Manning," she began. "Nor was I his first victim."

Billie felt the beginnings of confusion and rage swell in the pit of her stomach as she forced herself to remain calm. Walking to the bed, she sat down and placed her hands on the comforter on either side of her. "Go on," she encouraged Cat.

Cat retrieved the chair from the vanity and pulled it over so she could sit directly in front of Billie. Sitting, she folded her hands in her lap and looked at the floor, trying desperately to compose her thoughts before beginning. A few moments later, she looked into Billie's eyes and almost lost her resolve as she saw fear and anger in the sky blue depths.

Taking a deep breath, she began. "Gerald Manning was a Neo-Nazi." Pausing slightly when an audible gasp escaped Billie's lips, she once more composed herself before continuing. "He was actively involved in a group on campus that among other things, believed gays and lesbians were subhuman. Their convictions included beliefs that homosexuals were trying to destroy the moral fiber of the American family, that they are child molesters, immoral, and intent on spreading diseases such at STD's and AIDS. They ranked us on the same level as prostitutes and murderers. Their minds and hearts were black with hate, Billie, and in their warped way of thinking, they felt morally responsible for eradicating our kind from the face of the earth."

Now it was Billie's turn to pace as she rose to her feet and walked to the opposite side of the room. Turning around, she faced Cat. "Cat, how can an educational institution allow such a group to exist on campus?" She asked.

"Billie, part of what makes America so great is our right of free speech. If the university banned them, then they'd also have to ban other groups - even the good ones. The college had no recourse but to allow them to exist as long as they did nothing to harm other students. Most of what they did was hold rally's and post proclamations of hatred. Gerald Manning was a renegade. He pushed the limits. He acted with the full support of the group, but when push came to shove, they disclaimed all responsibility for his actions," Cat explained.

When Billie reached the entrance to their room, she leaned against the door and slid her backside down until she was sitting on the floor in front of it, her knees bent with her forearms resting on top of them.

"Cat, you said you weren't Manning's first victim," Billie prompted.

"His first victim was a gay man named Josh. Manning charged that the man made a pass at him and that he was defending himself. He nearly killed Josh," Cat explained.

"Why wasn't his hate group expelled from campus after that first incident?" Billie asked.

"Because his victim's family chose not to press charges, so the police dropped the investigation. It was never proven that the group was responsible for the attack," Cat said bluntly.

"What?!! He beats the shit out of someone and they don't press charges?" Billie asked, disbelief evident in her voice.

"Josh's family was ashamed of their son's sexuality and chose not to press charges in order to keep the incident out of the news. Apparently his family was also pretty wealthy and influential with the administration because the incident was pretty much hushed up. The gay/lesbian community knew about it of course because of the victim's ties with us - and of course, I had first hand knowledge of Manning's potential danger through my personal encounters with the bastard," Cat explained.

"You said you had more than one encounter with Manning?" Billie asked.

"Yes I did. Just before he nearly beat Josh to death, he started pursuing me. It started out with him making a pass at me, and of course, I wasn't interested, and I told him as much. Finally after the fourth time I had turned him down, he pinned me against a wall and asked if I was a lezbo - or something along those lines. He just couldn't understand why I didn't want to have sex with him. That's when I finally admitted to him that he had the wrong equipment, and that yes - I preferred women. It was at that point that the serious harassment began," Cat recalled.

"Serious harassment?" Billie asked from her position on the floor.

"After the incident with Josh, the school quietly expelled Gerald, but that didn't keep him away. He felt invincible, having literally gotten way with nearly killing Josh, so he continually violated the restraining order the university had placed on him to keep him off campus. He began stalking me... following me from class to class; leaving nasty homophobic sexual notes taped to my dorm room door. I reported him to campus security, but he always seemed to carry out his harassment undetected. Finally, the university assigned a security guard to escort me from class to class and after a while the harassment seemed to stop - that is, until that fateful night when he raped me." Cat paused as a shiver ran through her as the horrific memories of that night returned.

Billie saw how Cat was struggling with the retelling of her encounter with Gerald Manning, and crawled over to Cat to place her head in the smaller woman's lap. Cat bent at the waist and lowered head own head to rest on Billie's as they held each other for several moments. Finally, Cat sat erect again, causing Billie to raise her head, then to sit back on her knees.

Cat once again wiped the tears from her face before continuing. "The night Gerald raped and beat me, I had called campus security immediately after my night class was over, then waited in the doorway for the guard to arrive. I waited for nearly an hour, and when he didn't show, I decided to chance the short distance between the building I was in, and my dorm. It was no further than Jen's house is from ours, so I thought I could make it safely. Unfortunately, the shortest route called for me to pass through a narrow gap between two buildings. It was in this tight, secluded space that Manning caught me. He had apparently been watching as I waited for the guard, and then followed me as I attempted to make it home safely on my own."

Cat sat back in her seat and closed her eyes, opening them again only when she felt Billie's hand on her thigh.

"Cat, you don't need to say any more. I understand your feelings about Tara now," she said to her wife, painfully aware of how difficult it was for Cat to recount the incident.

Cat began to cry as Billie's comment instantly reminded her of how this discussion had begun. Rising to her feet once more, Billie bent over and bodily lifted Cat from the chair and carried her to the bed where they laid together in a tight embrace as sobs wracked Cat's slight frame.

"Billie, I can't bear the thought of Tara living through that nightmare," she cried. "No one should have to experience that. As much as society has changed, there are still sick people out there that believe all homosexuals should be exterminated. There are still zealots that hide behind the guise of religion to justify brutal torture and murder of someone simply because they differ from the norm. Billie, I don't want our daughter to become one of their victims. I don't want her to become the next Matthew Shepard." Overcome with emotion, Cat buried her head in Billie's shoulder and cried.

Billie kissed Cat on the forehead. "Nether do I, Kitten. Neither do I, but there is nothing we can do about Tara's sexual orientation. Only Tara knows where her heart lies, and we both know if she denies her true nature, she will never be happy. Do you understand?" she asked.

Cat nodded reluctantly. "I do understand, Billie, but I am still terrified that some day she may have to live through the pain and humiliation brought on by a society filled with fear of our kind. Make no mistake - fear is what drives that type of behavior - fear and ignorance," Cat exclaimed.

"Sweetheart, we don't even know for sure that Tara is gay. In fact, she may not even know for sure. But in the event that she is, we should probably start by educating our daughter on how to protect herself. Let's talk to Tara about this while we're on vacation, okay?" Billie asked.

Cat nodded silently and snuggled in closer to Billie.

"Sleep, my love," Billie said as she kissed Cat's forehead once more, then reached over to turn off the night stand light.

***********************************************************************************************

CHAPTER III

Sunday mornings were a favorite of Billie's. Rising before the rest of the family, she completed her normal five mile run through the park with Jen, stopping on the way back for coffee, then collected the newspaper from the mailbox as she returned home. She enjoyed having this time alone in the quiet of the kitchen while the rest of the family slept. On this particular morning, she used her time to go over the material she had printed out a day earlier on Yellowstone National Park.

"What's this?... Hey cool!" Billie exclaimed as she uncovered information on the Junior Ranger program. "Sky will love this!"

"Sky will love what?" asked a voice from the living room doorway.

Billie turned around quickly in time to see Cat enter the kitchen. Facing the woman, she gladly accepted the supple body into her open arms and held her close. "Good morning, my love," she said as Cat planted herself on Billie's lap. "I was just looking over some of this information on Yellowstone. Look, they offer a Junior Ranger Program. Skylar's the perfect age for it. Listen to this: 'Yellowstone National Park has a Junior Ranger Program for children ages 5 - 12. Children are introduced to the natural wonders of Yellowstone and their role in preserving the park and the environment for the future. Participants receive an official Yellowstone Junior Ranger patch featuring a stylized bear track. Requirements include attending a Ranger-led program, hiking on a park trail, and completing activities on geology, park wildlife, and fire ecology,'" Billie read directly from the Internet article.

"You're right - Sky will love that," Cat observed. "Have you found any details yet on the camping facilities?" she asked.

Billie looked at her wife and noticed how tired she appeared as a result of the previous night's traumatic discussion. "The research can wait," Billie said as she wrapped both arms around Cat. "How are you feeling this morning?" she asked.

"Tired... but okay," Cat answered. "Thanks for listening last night."

"Kitten, you know you can talk to me at any time about anything... right?" Billie asked.

Cat nodded, then placed a kiss on the end of Billie's nose. "I know I can. Thank you, my love," she said.

"Why don't you go back to bed. I'll keep the kids quiet so you can sleep as long as you want," Billie offered.

"No - I'm up now. I'll be all right sweetheart... that is, after I put away at least two pots of coffee. I see you stopped for coffee on your way home from your run," Cat mentioned, noticing the styrofoam coffee cup on the table.

"Yeah, it's become a ritual for Jen and I," Billie replied, chuckling.

"How is Miss Jennifer this morning?" Cat asked as she rose from Billie's lap and proceeded to make a fresh pot of coffee.

"Jen's fine. She's still pretty disappointed that they can't go on this trip with us, though," Billie explained.

"Yeah - I can understand that. Talking about the trip, what does Yellowstone have to offer for campsites?" Cat asked.

"Well it says here that there are 12 campgrounds within the boundaries of the park - most of which are on a first come, first serve basis. Apparently a lot of people drive through and camp just for a night or two. The campgrounds are intended mostly for RV's but there are cabins in some of them," Billie replied as she shuffled through the papers before her.

"Maybe we should make reservations before all of the cabins are taken for the week we plan to go," Cat suggested.

"Probably," Billie began, "but I'm not sure the campgrounds are what we are looking for."

"What do you mean?" Cat questioned as she reached for the coffee pot to pour a cup for herself.

"Well, it says here that in addition to the campgrounds, there are actual frontier type pioneer cabins in an area they call the 'backcountry'. That actually sounds more intriguing than staying in a campground," Billie explained.

Cat turned around and frowned at Billie. "Okay... stop right there. Didn't you say you wanted all the comforts of home on this camping trip? A frontier pioneer cabin doesn't exactly sound like a four-star hotel. I'll bet there are no facilities... no water, no electricity... not even a bathroom," she warned. "By the way, do you want a fresh cup of coffee?" she added.

"Oh yes... thanks, love," Billie replied, accepting the cup of coffee before continuing. "Look, Cat. I know I was pretty adamant about camping in luxury, but after reading this material, I'm pretty excited about staying in one of these cabins. Listen to the description: 'Located in remote parts of the park, the cabins are accessible only by foot and horseback. Each cabin is rectangular in the "Rocky Mountain" style with a covered porch. The roofs are cedar shingles, but were originally sod. Floors were originally dirt, but have been replaced with concrete. Cabins are one or two rooms incorporating sleeping, cooking and work areas. Cabins have both wood heat and cooking stoves. Interior furnishing are typically sparse and include bunk beds, bookcases, table, and may have desks.' Doesn't that sound cool?" Billie asked.

"Only accessible by foot or horseback?" Cat asked incredulously. "Sounds like total isolation to me! We'll have to rent horses and ride them anywhere we want to go. Maybe it's a good thing that Jen and her family won't be joining us!" Cat chuckled.

"So, what do you think?" Billie asked, hoping Cat would be as excited about it as she was.

Carrying her coffee to the table, she set it down and rested her upper body on her elbows, directly in front of Billie. "I think you've lost your mind, my love," Cat said, smiling ear to ear. "But I have to admit, it does sound kind of fun. It could be a real lesson for teaching the kids self reliance," she added.

A wide smile split Billie's face as Cat agreed with her plan. "We have a ton of planning to do!" she exclaimed. "We'll need a separate suitcase just for pots and pans, dishes, survival gear and what not. Oh - and we'll all have to pack light. As it is, we may need to drag a litter behind a horse to carry all our luggage and supplies."

Billie jumped to her feet and ran out of the kitchen, returning within seconds with a pen and paper to begin making her list. "This is going to be so cool!" she exclaimed again as she sat down and totally absorbed herself in planning their back-to-nature trip.

A warm fuzzy feeling filled the pit of Cat's stomach as she thoroughly enjoyed the excitement radiating from her tall wife. This was going to be one memorable vacation.

**********

"You won't believe what my mother has planned for our camping vacation!" Tara exclaimed as she laid on her back across her bed; her head hanging over the side so she was looking at her friend upside down.

"Yeah, what's that?" Kelly asked as she pulled her T-shirt off over her head.

Tara's eyes nearly popped out of her face at Kelly's boldness.

"Tara?... Tara?" Kelly asked.

"Huh?" Tara replied as her attention was drawn back to the moment.

"You were saying something about your mom's plan for your camping trip," Kelly reminded her.

"Oh yeah! Well, for starters, we're going to live like hermits for a week," Tara replied sarcastically as she watched Kelly's shirt hit the floor.

"Sounds like fun. My dad and I have been camping before with nothing but a tent. We had to live off the land for nearly a week. It's amazing how you can survive with the ordinary things you can find in nature when you have to," Kelly said as she searched through Tara's closet.

Tara sat up quickly in the middle of her bed and crossed her legs in front of her. "You don't understand, Kel. We're talking about my Mom here. Your dad is a Marine - he's had survival training. My mom can't even boil water! Thank god Ma can cook," she complained.

"Well it still sounds like fun. I wouldn't mind going myself," Kelly said.

"I wish you could go too. I asked my parents if you could come along, but they want this to be just our immediate family," Tara explained.

"Well, I guess that makes sense," Kelly said, holding a sweater up in front of her as she admired herself in the mirror. "So, what exactly does living like hermits mean?" she asked Tara.

"Mom has it in her head that it will be fun to stay in an old pioneer cabin with no electricity or water. We'll have to use oil lamps for light and a wood stove for cooking. There won't even be a bathroom! Can you believe it?" Tara asked incredulously.

"I'm sure there'll be an outhouse," Kelly replied as she pulled the sweater over her head and modeled it in front of her friend. "Whadda ya think?" she asked.

"Looks better on you than it does on me!" Tara replied before returning to the subject. "I don't know how I'm going to take a bath with no running water."

"You can bathe in the lake, or maybe there's a well where you can pump water into a big tub. It really does sound like fun, Tara," Kelly offered.

Reaching for the hem of the sweater, Kelly pulled it off and neatly placed it back on the hanger before she returned it to the closet and reached for another.

Tara watched her friend disrobe with interest. She was especially intrigued by the way Kelly's abdomen was accentuated when she lifted her arms over her head to remove the sweater. She was also quite enthralled with Kelly's nonchalant attitude about undressing in front of her.

"Anyway," Tara said, clearing her throat, "she wants us to live in this cabin with no electricity, no water and no bathroom - and it's so far away from everything that we'll have to horseback in and out. Sometimes I wonder what she's smoking!"

Kelly drew another sweater over her head and pulled it down snugly around her waist. "It sounds like fun, Tara. I wouldn't mind spending a week in a rustic old cabin. How about this one?" she asked, once again modeling for her friend. "It's a little tight," she added.

Tara climbed off the bed and approached her friend, eyeing her closely. "Wait a minute... turn around," she commanded. As Kelly pirouetted, she added, "You know - I think that's Skylar's sweater."

"Really?" Kelly asked. "Well then, maybe I should take it off," she offered, grabbing the hem and struggling to remove the form fitting sweater.

"Here, let me help," Tara offered, as she reached for the hem and with Kelly's help, managed to pull it up to her friend's neck.

Just then, the door to Tara's room opened and Cat walked in.

"Tare... is Kelly staying for lunch?" Cat asked before stopping dead in her tracks. There before her were Tara and Kelly, both of whom were removing Kelly's shirt, leaving Kelly bare to the waist except for her lacy white bra.

"Ah... ah...," Cat stammered.

Kelly and Tara looked at each other, and then at Cat before they finally managed to remove the sweater.

"I think this is Sky's," Kelly said, handing the sweater to Cat then quickly grabbing her own T-shirt and pulling it over her head.

Stunned into silence, Cat just looked at the sweater then back at Tara.

"It was in my closet, Ma. I don't know how it got in there. Kelly was just trying on my things," Tara admitted.

"Ah... ah... lunch?" Cat asked, suddenly remembering why she was there.

"Sure," the two teenage girls replied together, blushing and giggling as their eyes met.

"Lunch," Cat said again as she backed out of the room, pulling the door closed as she retreated. Standing in the hallway, staring blankly at Tara's door, Cat barely remembered the conversation inside the room as her mind simply registered what she had seen. "Billie!" she yelled, running toward the stairs to the first story.

Tara and Kelly stood inside the door, staring dumbfounded at each other as they simultaneously realized what Cat thought she saw.

"Oh shit!" Tara said out loud, a shocked expression gracing her face.

"Oh shit, indeed," Kelly said, grinning ear to ear.

**********

"Wow! This vacation sounds like fun," Seth said as he shoved the last bite of sandwich into his mouth. "I kind of like the idea of camping in the wilderness... all alone, no crowds, no noise... peace and quiet."

"You don't mind that we won't have electricity or running water?" Billie asked.

"Heck no! It'll be cool to live like the pioneers did," he replied as he looked at his watch.

Noticing the gesture, Billie asked her son if he had to work that afternoon.

"Yeah," Seth said. "I gotta be there in about an hour."

"You did secure the time off for this trip, right?" Billie asked hopefully.

"Sure did - and I can't wait. I can use a break from bagging groceries," he replied before gulping down the rest of his milk.

"Good. Speaking of groceries, I need to put together a shopping list for our trip," Billie said as she tore a sheet of paper from the memo pad hanging near the phone.

"Geesh, Mom. We're not leaving for two weeks yet!" Seth exclaimed.

"It never hurts to be prepared," Billie said in her own defense. "Now let's see... bread, canned soups, jerky..."

"Billie! Billie! Oh my god... Oh my god!" Cat exclaimed as she scurried down the stairs, through the living room and into the kitchen, stopping short when she saw that her wife was not alone.

The tone of Cat's voice struck fear in Billie's chest as she jumped to her feet. "What is it Cat?" she asked quickly.

Cat debated internally for a few seconds about saying too much in front of her son until she suddenly realized that Seth probably knew more about the situation than she did.

"Cat!" Billie exclaimed, taking the smaller woman by the shoulders. "Sweetheart, what is it?" she asked.

"T... Tara. I just walked into Tara's bedroom to see if the girls wanted lunch, and they were... They were both... I... I mean, Kelly was taking her shirt off and Tara was helping her!" Cat finally managed to say.

Billie and Seth wore twin looks of surprise on their faces as they were stunned into silence.

Within a few seconds, Seth had recovered and was rising to his feet. "Gotta get to work," he said hurriedly.

"You stay right where you are, young man," Cat said, pointing at her son and stopping him in his tracks.

Seth obediently returned to his seat and leaned forward, resting his forearms on this thighs.

"Cat, maybe it wasn't what you thought," Billie offered.

"Billie, I know what I saw!" Cat exclaimed before turning to her son. "Okay, spill it," she demanded as she faced him with her hands on her hips.

Seth sat back and threw his hands out to the sides. "Spill what?" he challenged.

"You know just what I mean, Seth. That comment you made at dinner a few days ago gave you away," Cat replied.

"Comment?" Seth asked, really not remembering what he had said.

"Cat, calm down, let me handle this," Billie said, pulling out a chair and directing Cat into it before addressing Seth. "Seth, the other night when we were discussing where to go on vacation, Tara asked if Kelly could come along, and when Cat objected, you commented to Tara that..." Billie began.

"That it would do her and Kelly good to be apart for a while," Seth finished. "I remember."

"So what exactly did that mean?" Cat demanded roughly.

"It meant that they are together every day and it wouldn't hurt for them to take a break - that's what!" Seth said a little gruffer than he intended.

Billie immediately recognized Seth's attitude as a protective mechanism to counteract Cat's attack. "Okay... that's enough - from both of you," Billie said, shooting warning glances at both her son and her wife. "Biting each other's heads off is not going to solve anything."

Billie paced back and forth across the room a couple of times as both Seth and Cat sat back in their seats with their arms crossed, pouting as a result of being scolded by Billie. Finally, Billie stopped and addressed her son.

"Seth, because of your comment the other night, Mama and I formed the strong impression that there was something going on between Tara and Kelly - and that you knew about it," Billie explained.

"I..." Seth interjected.

"Let me finish," Billie said, holding up her hand to silence her son. "Now, whether there is a relationship between the girls or not.... and whether you know about it or not, Mama and I have no right to ask you to betray Tara's trust."

"Billie!" Cat whined incredulously.

"No, Cat. This is something we need to discuss with Tara," she said. Turning to her son, she added, "Seth, you'll be late for work if you don't get moving."

"Thanks, Mom," Seth said, kissing both his mothers on the cheek (albeit a bit apprehensively as he approached Cat) before heading to the door where he stopped and turned around. "Tara's pretty smart, you know. She won't do anything stupid. Don't worry about her," he said before leaving.

Silence prevailed for the next few moments as Billie leaned against the counter top by the sink and looked at Cat who was still sitting at the table. Seeing the truth in Billie's eyes, she rose to her feet and approached the taller woman, wrapping her arms around Billie's waist. Within seconds, she felt Billie's warm arms envelop her.

"I'm sorry, Billie," Cat apologized. "You're right, we have no right to ask Seth to betray Tara's trust."

"You're apologizing to the wrong person, my love," Billie replied.

"Yeah, I know. I'll do the proper damage control when he comes home tonight. That was really awful of me to act that way, but when I saw the girls like that... I... I guess I panicked," the red haired woman explained.

Billie placed her hands on Cat's shoulders and gently pushed her an arm's length away. "What exactly did you see, Cat?" Billie asked.

"Kelly was taking her shirt off and Tara was helping her," Cat replied.

"And...?" Billie asked.

"And nothing. That was it," Cat returned.

"No kissing, no caressing, no nakedness?" Billie prompted.

"Not unless you count Kelly in her bra as being naked," Cat answered, a frown gracing her brow at Billie's questioning.

"But you didn't actually see anything sexual or romantic?" Billie persisted.

"Billie, what are you getting at? Did I see them writhing naked in each others arms? No I didn't, but how do we know it wouldn't have turned out that way if I hadn't come upon the scene when I did?!" Cat replied sharply.

"How do we know it would have?" Billie asked softly. "Cat, sweetheart - the truth is, we don't know, and because of that, we can't jump to conclusions. Let me talk to Tara about it, okay?"

Cat locked eyes with Billie for long moments before relenting and nodding her approval. Billie pulled her into a close embrace and kissed the top of her head. The ladies stood in the embrace for several minutes before Billie broke the silence.

"Cat?" she asked softly.

"Hmmmm," replied Cat.

"You may need to come to terms with the possibility that our daughter is gay. You know we can't expect her to be something she isn't. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Billie asked.

Cat looked at Billie. "I understand," she replied. "But I don't have to like it." Seeing the frown on Billie's face, she continued. "I'm sorry, Billie. It's just that she's only 15 years old. I'm not sure she's old enough to really know her heart."

"Did you know at 15, Cat?" Billie asked.

Cat knew Billie had her cornered. "Yeah, but that was different," Cat countered.

"How is it different, Cat?" Billie persisted in her questioning.

Cat crossed her arms in defiance. "It just was - that's all!" she said stubbornly.

Billie laughed as she wrapped her arms around Cat. "You are so cute when you're cornered," she teased.

"Oh shut up," Cat said, playfully slapping Billie on the arm.

"Go easy on her, Cat. We don't know anything for sure. Don't assume guilt before we've uncovered the facts. Okay?" Billie advised.

Billie's comments made Cat grin.

"What's that grin for?" Billie asked.

"Now who's cute, Madame Lawyer?" Cat teased.

**********

Later that evening, Seth and Tara once again shared the couch and a bowl of popcorn in the basement family room while they watched a movie. Their mothers and sister were sleeping soundly two floors above them.

"Tare?" Seth said tentatively part way through the movie.

"Yeah?" the teenage girl replied.

"I owe you an apology," he said.

Tara frowned at her brother. "For what?" She asked.

"That comment I made at dinner a few nights ago when Mom asked us about going on vacation kind of opened a can of worms," he explained.

"What do you mean?" the girl asked.

"Well, after Mama walked in on you and Kelly today, she was kind of freaking out about it, and asked me what I meant when I said you and Kelly could use a break from each other," Seth said. "Now they suspect there is something going on between you two. I think she's worried you might get hurt or something."

Tara sat silently for several moments, deep in thought as she contemplated, her hands folded in her lap.

Sensitive to his sister's feelings, Seth placed his hand on hers and squeezed gently. "Tara, what happened when mom found you and Kelly together this morning?" he asked.

Tara looked at her brother with genuine sincerity in her eyes. "Seth, nothing happened between me and Kelly. She was trying on my sweaters while we talked about our camping trip and Mama walked in while I was helping her take off a sweater that was too small for her. She couldn't get it off by herself," she explained.

"So nothing happened," Seth reiterated.

"Nothing happened. I have to admit though that part of me wanted something to happen," Tara confessed.

"Yeah?" Seth asked in a nonjudgmental way.

Tara met Seth's eyes, confusion clearly written on her face. "Seth, sometimes I... I don't know - sometimes I feel kind of strange around Kelly. Sometimes I wish I was her. She's just so cool. She knows what she wants and she's not afraid to go after it. She's not afraid of anything. I was kind of shocked when she just whipped her shirt off in front of me like it was something she did every day. I was kind of jealous of her when she did that," Tara explained.

"Jealous? What do you mean?" Seth asked.

"Maybe jealous is the wrong word. Maybe envious is better - yeah, that's it. I was envious. I wish I was confident enough in myself to do something like that," Tara replied.

"You want to go whipping your shirt off in front of people?" Seth asked teasingly.

Tara bumped her brother with her shoulder and grinned. "You know what I mean," she said before falling silent for a few moments. Finally, she spoke again. "Seth, have you ever met someone that makes you feel all hot in your stomach?" Tara asked.

Seth smiled. "Oh yeah. Last year in school there was this girl in my Algebra class... man, was she hot! One day she walked by my desk and smiled right at me and I thought I was going to fall into a dead faint right at her feet. My stomach got all hot, I was light headed. Boy, she had me good!" he replied.

Silence fell upon the teenagers for several minutes before Seth asked the next question. "Does Kelly make you feel that way, Tara?"

Tara avoided her brother's eyes as she answered. "Sometimes," she said. "But I don't know what it means. I don't know if it's envy, or something else," she admitted. "Sometimes I don't know if I want to be with her, or be like her. Does that make sense?" she asked her brother.

"Yeah, I guess so," he replied before taking his sister's hand once more. "Tare, you know I'll support you no matter what - right?" he asked.

Tara smiled then placed her head on her brother's shoulder as she reached for another handful of popcorn.

***********************************************************************************************

CHAPTER IV

The next two weeks passed painfully slow for Billie. Never before had she looked so forward to a family vacation. They had taken vacations as a family several times in the past, mostly focused on entertaining the kids... mostly trips to amusement parks - and of course, that disastrous trip to Happy Trails Campground. She enjoyed each and every one of them - well, except for Happy Trails... but this time it was different. This time they would be communing with nature. This time they would be dependent on their own survival skills. This time they would be far away from the hustle and bustle of civilization. No phones, no TV, no work - just precious time spent alone with the four people she loved more than anything else in the world.

As the time for the trip grew near, the excitement level in the house increased exponentially. Cat, in her normal anal-retentive way, had lists hanging all over the house... lists for clothing, lists for supplies, lists for last minute details they needed to tend to before leaving. Skylar spent a great deal of time debating over what to bring, finally paring down a huge pile of books, games, and stuffed animals to a few that would fit into her backpack. Seth, who normally waited until the last minute to pack, was ready to go a whole week in advance. Only Tara was lax in her readiness for the trip.

Tara's initial excitement seemed to wan as the trip grew near. Instead of joining the family in making plans for their week in the wilderness, she spent hours by herself in her room, or in the family room on the phone with Karissa or Kelly. Her distant behavior was not lost on Billie and Cat, who strongly suspected the reason for it. Even Jen noticed a change in the teenager, and she expressed as much over coffee one Saturday morning a week before the trip.

"So what's up with Tara?" Jen wondered out loud.

Cat and Billie exchanged a nervous glance before Billie replied. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, she was at my house with Karissa and Kelly yesterday and she just seemed down in the dumps - much too quiet for Tara," Jen observed.

"Quiet, how?" Cat questioned, clearly concerned about her daughter.

"I don't know... she seemed preoccupied, I guess. Distant - with a faraway look on her face," Jen recalled, looking at her friends and wondering what they were hiding. "So... what's up with her?" she asked again.

Jen looked back and forth between her friends, waiting for a reply that never came.

Jen placed her coffee cup on the table then leaned forward. "Okay - spill it. Something's up with Tara - something you're hesitant to tell me about," she demanded.

Cat sighed deeply and slumped into her chair. Billie reached over to rub her back, providing gentle assurance as she prepared to answer their friend.

"Jen," Billie began. "We've been a little worried about Tara ourselves. We have reason to believe that she's... well... that she's..." Billie faltered, trying hard to come up with the right words.

"That she's gay?" Jen replied, receiving shocked expressions from both her friends. "Well, duh! Even a blind man would be suspicious!" she exclaimed.

Cat leaned forward and narrowed her eyes at their friend. "How long have you known?" she asked.

Billie suddenly rose to her feet. "Hold it right there," she insisted. "This discussion calls for more coffee."

Cat sat back in her seat and struggled to control her emotions as she stared at her hands that were crossed and resting on the table in front of her.

Seeing the state of distress her best friend was in, Jen reached across the table and covered Cat's hands with her own. "Cat," she said softly. "Sweetie, what is it?"

Cat lifted her eyes to meet her friend's. "Matthew Shepard," was all she said.

Jen's brow furrowed, then softened as she suddenly understood her friend's pain. "Oh,Cat," Jen sympathized. "Honey, I totally understand how you feel, but Tara can't live her life looking over her shoulder... none of us can. What happened to Matthew Shepard was unspeakable - deplorable, but that doesn't mean it will happen to Tara... that doesn't mean she shouldn't follow her heart. Tara is a wonderful kid, who was raised by wonderful moms. She needs to be proud of who - and what she is - just as you two are proud to be who you are."

By the end of Jen's speech, Cat was in tears, as was Billie, who had listened to the whole conversation standing in front of the sink with her back to her wife and friend, trying to conceal her sobbing.

Jen squeezed Cat's hands then looked over her shoulder to Billie, noticing the defeated slope of her shoulders as they shook up and down. Releasing Cat's hands, she pushed herself away from the table and approached Billie. Wrapping herself around the back of her tall friend, she placed a kiss between the tall woman's shoulders before turning her around and leading her back to the table.

"Sit," Jen insisted, pushing Billie into the chair next to Cat. "I'll pour the coffee," which she proceeded to do as her friends held hands and comforted each other.

Jen poured fresh coffee for all three of them, casting furtive glances at her friends as she completed her chore and returned the carafe to the hot-plate before rejoining them at the table. Sitting opposite the two ladies, she sipped her coffee, waiting patiently for them to speak.

"Thank you, Jen," Billie spoke as she saluted Jen with her cup before sipping the rich, dark liquid.

Cat wrapped her hands around her cup before raising her eyes to her friend. "Jen, how long have you known?" she asked for the second time.

"Well, I don't really know for sure," she responded. "It's just a feeling I have about Tara. I think you guys call it 'gay-dar'? I don't have any real proof... but I guess that doesn't answer your question," she added. "Let's see... how long have I suspected?" she pondered out loud to herself. "I'd say for about a year now."

"A year!?" Cat exclaimed. "You suspected our daughter was gay for an entire year and you didn't say anything to us!" she added as her voice rose an octave.

Billie reached under the table and placed a hand on Cat's thigh, squeezing lightly in an attempt to covertly calm her wife's growing temper.

Acknowledging Billie's touch on her thigh, Cat closed her eyes and quickly composed herself before addressing her friend again. "Jen, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm really afraid for her. That - and it seems I'm the last one to realize what my own child is up to these days," she apologized.

"Sweetie, we don't know that Tara is gay - it's just a feeling, that's all," Jen repeated. "I didn't say anything to you guys because quite frankly, considering your own situation, I thought it would be obvious to you."

"So, have you seen or heard anything that might reinforce this feeling you have?" Billie asked, before taking another sip of her coffee.

"Nothing concrete. Just her mannerisms and maybe the way she acts around Kelly," Jen offered.

"Kelly?" Cat asked.

"Yeah. Tara and Karissa have always been very close in a best friend kind of way, but she seems to be more flirty and compliant with Kelly... almost henpecked," she remarked.

"Henpecked?" Billie questioned as her eyebrows rose high onto her forehead.

"Maybe that's the wrong word. Maybe I mean gob-smacked - you know, awestruck... like a lovesick puppy dog. When she's around Kelly, she reminds me of Stevie when he had his first crush. Know what I mean?" Jen asked.

As they listened to their friend speak, it became apparent to both ladies that they had indeed observed that behavior in their daughter, but for some reason, chose not to recognize it.

"Now that I think about it, I guess I have seen Tara behave that way. Talk about not seeing the forest through the trees!" Cat scoffed.

"So, have you talked with Tara about it?" Jen inquired.

"No we haven't. In fact, I think we've kind of been in denial about it. We think Seth knows though. But he hasn't offered anything concrete either," Billie replied. "All he told us was to trust her not to do anything stupid."

"Sounds like good advice to me," Jen conceded as she rose to her feet. "I gotta get going. Fred is beginning to think I've moved in with you two!" she chuckled as she rinsed her coffee cup and placed it in the dishwasher.

Billie and Cat rose and escorted their friend to the door where she hugged and kissed both women, giving them an extra tight squeeze, silently promising them both that she'd be there for them if needed. Before leaving, she turned to face her friends one more.

"When you do talk to her, put yourself in her shoes. Remember what it was like when you realized your parents knew. Okay?" Jen advised.

"My parents never knew. I didn't come out until after they died," Billie replied.

"Well then think about how you felt when you worried about them finding out. Geesh - do you always have to be difficult, Tall One?" Jen quipped back.

"Always!" Billie joked and she hugged her friend again.

"We love you, you know," Cat added as she too hugged her friend once more.

"Ditto, kiddo!" Jen quipped as she scooted out the door, leaving the two ladies to ponder what lie ahead.

**********

"I don't really want to go," Tara said, looking over at the girl lying beside her. The two girls had retired to Tara's room after dinner, wanting to spend their last evening together before Tara left for a week-long vacation.

"Why not? It sounds like fun," Kelly replied.

"I don't know. I keep thinking I'll be bored," she confessed.

Kelly rolled onto her side to face Tara and propped herself up on her elbow. "Bored? I could think of a million things to do on a camping trip," Kelly argued. Leaning forward, the teenager tapped Tara's forehead with her finger. "You need to use your imagination, Tara," she added.

Tara locked eyes with her friend, and remained silent as a cavalcade of emotions paraded across her face.

Picking up on Tara's distress, Kelly placed her open palm on the girl's face. "Something else is bothering you, Tare. What is the real reason you don't want to go?" she asked.

Tara snapped her head out of Kelly's grasp and looked away, embarrassed and a bit angry at Kelly's ability to read her thoughts.

Not easily deterred, Kelly laid back once more and looked at the ceiling. "You know you want to tell me," she prodded.

"No I don't," denied Tara.

Kelly refused to let her friend off the hook as she risked a covert glance at Tara. "Yes you do... and you might as well get it over with, because I'm staying right here until you do," she insisted, stubbornly crossing her arms across her chest.

"Somehow I don't think my moms will go along with you spending the night - especially in my bed," Tara retorted.

"Your moms don't allow sleep-overs?" Kelly asked.

"Well... the sleep-over part would be okay... it's the 'in my bed' part I don't think they'd be too crazy about. They're already suspicious," Tara explained.

"What do you mean?" Kelly prodded, knowing full well where the conversation was leading.

"They already think something is going on between us," Tara admitted. "They've asked my brother as much."

Kelly fell silent for several moments before turning once more to her friend. "Do you want something to be going on between us, Tara?" she asked.

Tara's heart was beating so hard she was convinced Kelly could see her chest rise and fall through her shirt with every beat. A sense of panic began to form in the pit of her stomach as she considered her friend's question. Suddenly feeling trapped and cornered, she began to rise from the bed, only to be stopped by a restraining hand on her arm.

"Tara, don't go. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that," Kelly apologized.

Rather than climb off the bed, Tara sat up and crossed her legs in front of her. Leaning forward, she rested her arms on top of her knees and focused on the bedspread in front of her.

Several minutes passed, during which Kelly was convinced she had ruined her friendship with Tara forever. Finally, when she couldn't take the silence any longer, Kelly rose from the bed and slipped her shoes on. Walking to the door, she stopped and turned to address her friend. "I'm sorry, Tara," she said before reaching for the door knob.

"Yes," Tara said as the bedroom door swung inward, freezing Kelly where she stood.

Kelly turned around. "What did you say?" she asked Tara.

Tara looked over her shoulder at Kelly. "I said, yes... I do want something to happen between us," she confessed.

Kelly breathed deeply to control her own wildly beating heart as she stepped back into the bedroom and closed the door, leaning against it for support.

"Do you?" Tara asked.

Kelly leaned against the door, wide-eyed with fear and excitement as she nodded her head.

Tara felt light headed as her mind absorbed what her heart was feeling. She struggled to put a name to the turbulence that had taken up residence within her stomach at the news that Kelly felt the same way she did. Risking a shy look at her friend and realizing she was also under the spell of elated confusion, Tara reached out her hand in an invitation to join her in their silent celebration of attraction.

Shakily, Kelly slowly made her way to the bed where she sat in front of Tara, mirroring her pose and contemplating the same patch of bedspread.

Each girl dared quick glances at the other until their timing coincided and their eyes met, creating a magnetic field so strong, neither could look away.

Feeling bold, Tara reached forward and took Kelly's hand, holding it tightly in her own. Every now and then, excited giggles escaped one girl or the other as their hands provided the physical connection they were craving.

After contemplating the bedspread once more, Tara looked at Kelly. "Now what?" she asked, grinning.

Kelly breathed deeply and exhaled. "I don't know. I've never actually done this before," she admitted.

"Neither have I," Tara admitted.

"Then I guess we should start out slow. Let's not rush it, okay?" Kelly suggested.

"Okay," agreed Tara who couldn't stop herself from grinning once more before adding, "Now I really don't want to go camping."

Kelly frowned. "Tara, you have to go. Your moms are looking forward to this vacation," she pointed out.

Tara squeezed Kelly's hands. "But I don't want to leave you. I don't know if I can make it through a whole week without you," she confessed.

Kelly's heart soared at the knowledge that Tara was willing to give up what sounded like a wonderful vacation just to be with her, but her rational mind told her not to take Tara up on her offer.

"Tara, I want you to go. Just think how happy we'll be when we're together again after a week," Kelly baited.

"But I'll miss you!" Tara whined.

Kelly touched the side of Tara's face. "I'll miss you too, Tare, but I won't exactly be in your moms' good graces if they find out you're not going because of me," she reasoned.

Tara looked defeated. "Yeah, I supposed you're right," she admitted before looking up at Kelly once more. "Promise you won't forget me while I'm gone?" she asked.

Kelly grinned. "How could I forget you, silly? I'll tell you what," she said as she reached for the permanent marker on Tara's nightstand. "Why don't we give each ourselves something to remember each other by while we're apart," she suggested as she turned Tara's hand over. Taking the cap off the marker, she drew two circles, one above the other in a figure '8' on the back of Tara's hand, then drew a horizontal line through the lower circle.

Tara looked at it in fascination. "What does it mean?" she asked.

"It's an ancient symbol that represents a person's spirit or soul. As long as you carry this symbol with you when we are apart, my spirit will be there to keep you company," Kelly explained.

Tara smiled broadly while reaching for the marker. Taking Kelly's hand, she drew the identical symbol in the same place Kelly had drawn hers. Putting the cap back on the marker, she looked at the girl before her. "I promise not to wash this spot the entire week we're gone," she vowed.

Kelly just smiled and nodded her head before looking at her watch. "I gotta go, Tare. I told my mom I'd be home by 10 p.m." she said.

Tara immediately felt a sense of loss as her friend rose from the bed. "I'll walk you home," she offered.

"You don't have to do that Tara. I only live a block away," Kelly pointed out.

"I know... but I want to," Tara explained before following her friend out of the bedroom.

As the girls approached the bottom of the stairs, they noticed that Billie and Cat were in the living room, going over last minute details for their trip.

"Mom, I'm walking Kelly home. I'll be back soon," Tara announced as they walked through the living room.

"Are you packed Tara? We need to be at the airport by 8 a.m. tomorrow," Cat reminded her.

"Almost," Tara confessed. "I'll finish when I get back," she added as she pushed Kelly ahead of her before her parents could delay them any longer.

"Whew! That was close!" Tara exclaimed as they stepped out into the night air. "If you give them a chance, they'll hold us there forever talking our ears off!"

"I like your parents, Tara," Kelly said as she locked arms with Tara.

Tara suddenly felt very grown up and walked a little taller than usual as she escorted her lady home. "They're okay," Tara admitted. "I could certainly do worse."

"Their relationship should make telling them about us easier," Kelly said, stating the obvious.

"You would think so, but I got the impression from Seth that they were bummed out at the possibility," Tara replied.

"I wonder why?" Kelly asked.

"You know mothers... they worry about everything. I'm sure they just don't want me to get hurt," Tara speculated.

Kelly stopped walking and faced Tara. Reaching up to touch the side of Tara's face, she said, "I would never hurt you, Tara."

Tara smiled. "I know you wouldn't."

As they resumed their walk, Tara asked Kelly how her parents would accept their relationship.

Kelly contemplated the question for several long moments before answering. "I really don't know how they'll take it, Tara. I've never heard them say anything negative about homosexuals - in fact, they were pretty supportive of that civil union law that passed in Vermont a couple of years ago. I remember my dad saying that everyone had a right to marry the one they loved - even if it was someone of the same sex. So I guess they'd be okay with it, but you never know. It's easy to support something when it doesn't directly affect you. I guess we'll just have to wait and see," she commented.

Tara nodded as they walked the remaining distance to Kelly's house in silence, stopping just short of her property.

"I guess we should say goodnight right here. I'd like to tell them about you face to face and not have them find out by catching us in the act," Kelly explained.

"In the act?" Tara questioned.

"You are going to kiss me goodnight, aren't you?" Kelly asked, making Tara blush to the roots of her hair.

"Ah... Ah... Yeah, I guess," she said, stepping forward and taking Kelly's hands.

Not quite knowing how to approach the kiss, the two girls just stood there staring at each other, until finally, they simultaneously moved forward, slowly closing the distance between them until their lips touched, tentatively at first, then with full contact. Several seconds later, they pulled apart, both quite breathless from the experience.

"I... I guess I'll see you in a week, then," Tara stammered.

Kelly smiled and hugged Tara closely. "In a week," she repeated before releasing her friend and running the rest of the distance to her front porch, waving before entering the house.

Tara stood there for what felt like an eternity, which was as long as it took her to compose herself, before heading home.

**********

Billie and Cat had had just put the finishing touches on their list when Tara returned home. Instead of slothing slowing through the living room as she normally did, she bounded in and made a bee-line directly to her mothers, bestowing a kiss and affectionate hug on each of them before saying goodnight and literally running up the stairs to her room.

The mothers sat dumbfounded by their daughter's uncharacteristic behavior.

"Was that our daughter?" Billie asked Cat.

"It looked like Tara," Cat replied.

Once in her room, Tara hurriedly packed her suitcase then twirled herself around in circles before falling onto her bed, hugging herself tightly while grinning ear to ear. Lying on her bed, she raised her hands high above herself and admired the symbol Kelly had drawn. "I own your soul, Kelly... and you own mine. Soulmates," she said out loud. It was a long time before sleep overcame excitement and escorted the teenager into dreamland.

***********************************************************************************************

CHAPTER V

The Charland house was a bustle of activity the next morning as the family scurried to complete last minute chores before heading out to catch their plane. Finally, packed tightly into the family van, they made their way through the busy streets en route to the airport. A sense of excitement fell over the troupe, evident by the hum of voices inside the car. Billie drove, accompanied by Cat riding shotgun, with Tara and Seth claiming their usual seats in the back of the van, and Skylar enjoying the entire middle seat to herself. The route to the airport required them to pass directly by Kelly's house, at which point, Tara plastered herself to the window and waved wildly until the house was out of sight. Seth, sitting beside his sister, noticed this unusual behavior.

"Was she there?" Seth asked.

Tara snapped around and looked at her brother shyly. "Huh?" she asked.

"Was Kelly there? Did she wave back?" he asked, quiet enough to keep the questioning between them.

Tara blushed and looked down at her hands, unable to keep the smile from her face. "Yeah," she answered, shooting a quick glance in her brother's direction.

Seth watched his sister for a few moments, instinctively knowing something had changed in her relationship with Kelly.
"Wanna tell me about it?" he asked softly.

Tara inhaled deeply and looked at Seth. Still smiling, she replied, "We talked last night - and she feels it too. We kind of agreed to take it slow. I walked her home and... and," the teenager faltered, once more looking down at her hands.

"And you kissed her?" Seth prompted.

Feeling her heart skip a beat, and finding it difficult to breathe, she quickly pressed her hand into her chest and nodded in reply.

"Wow!" Seth said. "That's cool, Tare. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks!" Tara said, never feeling so close to her brother as she did at that moment. "I just hope Mom and Mama feel the same way."

Seth threw his arm around is sister's shoulder and drew her in. "I get the impression Mom is okay with it. Mama is concerned about you getting hurt, but give her time - she'll come around. You'll see," he assured her.

"I hope you're right Seth," Tara replied before sitting upright again and turning to stare out the window.

In the front seat of the van, Billie peered frequently into the rear view mirror, noticing the exchange between her children in the far back seat. She had also noticed Tara waving to Kelly as they drove by her house, so she naturally assumed the topic of conversation to be Kelly. Secretly glad her son was acting as advocate to her daughter, she instinctively decided not to tell Cat about the exchange, knowing at some point Tara would talk to them herself. In the meantime, she would try to make Cat understand that Tara's need to be happy far outweighed the probability of danger should her heart lead her in Kelly's direction.

**********

The flight into Yellowstone Regional Airport was uneventful, although the 3 hour layover in Cincinnati, Ohio between connecting flights was difficult for Skylar to bear. Several times during the layover, the pre-teen complained about being bored and pestered her mothers to entertain her. Seth and Tara on the other hand, took advantage of the down time to catch up on sleep they missed from the night before... Seth from staying up too late watching TV, and Tara from laying awake in her bed for several hours preoccupied with thoughts of Kelly. Finally, their flight was called and within hours, they had landed safely in Cody, Wyoming.

After collecting all of their luggage and checking out their rental van, the Charlands were on their way to Yellowstone.

"Well, so far, so good," Billie commented to Cat, who was trying to decipher the directions the car rental company had given them to the park.

Cat spared a glance at Billie. "What does that mean?" she asked.

"So far so good," Billie repeated. "So far, no disasters, no delays, no screw ups," she explained.

"Don't count your eggs to soon, Billie. We're not there yet," Cat pointed out.

"Don't be a pessimist, Cat. After all, you promised me a disaster-proof vacation - remember?" Billie reminded her wife.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember," Cat admitted, "but that was before you decided we should stay in a wilderness cabin. I'm still not sure you're going to like that, Billie."

"We'll be fine, Cat. What can go wrong?" Billie asked rhetorically.

"What indeed!" Cat commented before turning her attention back to the directions.

Surprisingly enough, within a hour, they arrived at Yellowstone without getting lost along the way.

"Here we are!" Billie announced as she pulled the van through the gates of the National Park. Pulling up in front of the office, she asked the rest of the family to be patient as she checked them in and determined where they needed to go to obtain horses and the guide that would lead them to their temporary home in the back country. Fifteen minutes later, she returned with the guide in tow, driving a golf cart.

"We need to follow him to the stables," Billie said as she climbed back into the driver's seat.

When they arrived at the stables, the family of five piled out of the van and retrieved their luggage from the back hatch. When the guide saw the pile of luggage waiting for him as he returned with a small wheeled trailer that would be hitched behind one of the horses, he raised his eyebrows and whistled loudly, remarking verbally that he doubted all the luggage would fit in the trailer.

As it turned out, the guilty party was Cat, as each of the kids and Billie had packed a week's clothing in one suitcase each, and personal items in a pack that could be carried on their backs as they rode out to the camp site. For the next twenty minutes, Billie and Cat rearranged their luggage until they managed to eliminate one of Cat's bags, leaving it in the rental van.

Before the guide would allow any of them to ride, he insisted they learn how to saddle and unsaddle the horses, as they would be required to do so after each use. As luck would have it, Billie had ridden often as a child during which she had learned to properly care for her horse, including the saddling process as well as the care and feeding of the animals.

Next, the guide insisted on seeing a list of provisions they had brought to ensure himself they were prepared to spend a week alone with no facilities. 'Billie the Nerd', having done extensive research in preparation for the trip, had packed every essential imaginable, and them some. Finally, they were ready to go. Despite this minor setback, Billie still claimed victory as the vacation, in her opinion, continued to be disaster free.

After assigning horses to each family member, the guide gave a quick lesson on the basic commands required to control the animals before they set out. It soon became apparent that extensive horsemanship experience was unnecessary as the horses were very gentle and intimately familiar with the trail and the routine of delivering campers to the back country.

The trip to the cabin took an entire two hours on horseback. By the time they arrived, Cat's backside was so sore, she was literally standing in the saddle. As she dismounted, she said, "Now I know how Jen felt," referring to the disastrous ride their friend had taken when her horse had gotten away from her while horseback riding at Happy Trails a few years previous.

The guide instructed the family on where to corral the horses between use after removing the saddles and placing them in the small barn behind the cabin. He also showed them where the feed was kept and provided them with a schedule by which to give them food and water.

Before leaving the family to their own wiles, the guide then went over the lay of the land in detail and reviewed with them a map detailing several trails that led to nearby lakes, hiking trails, a kayak depot and most importantly, the trail that led back to the main part of the park. He encouraged them to take short trips for the first couple of days to familiarize themselves with the area, and to mark their trail if they ventured further into the wilderness.

Finally, the guide pointed out the pile of firewood behind the cabin, the water pump and bathroom facilities - both located outside, and the large rain barrel that could be used for bathing - in addition to the nearby pond. Special care was also given to explaining the safety rules of building and extinguishing campfires. Convinced that he was leaving experienced wilderness campers behind, he climbed onto his own horse and bid the family farewell, telling them to enjoy their vacation, and asking them to look him up when they returned, as he would be the one taking care of the horses they would be returning.

After the family thanked him profusely, he rode away, leaving them standing around a large pile of luggage sitting on the front porch of the cabin as the sun slowly set in the western sky.

"Okay," Cat said, enthusiastically. "We're running out of daylight, so maybe we should get the luggage inside and unpack."

"Sounds good to me," Billie agreed, grabbing her own suitcase and urging her children to do the same before pushing the door to the cabin open and stepping inside. Once inside, she struggled to see as the sun had set just enough to darken the inside of the small cabin. "Cat," she called, "which suitcase is the lantern in?" she asked.

"Ah... I'm not really sure. I think it's in the largest one," she replied as she dragged her own bags in and dropped them onto the floor. "Wow! It's really dark in here," she observed.

"I'll take care of that in just a minute," Billie replied as she felt around inside the largest suitcase for the propane lantern, finally finding it completely by feel. "Here it is," she exclaimed before adding, "Oh great! Now where are the matches?"

"Some campers we are!" exclaimed Tara as she waited impatiently for light before even daring to venture too far into the cabin.

"Hold on," Cat said as she rummaged through her backpack. "Here," she said, handing the box of stick matches to Billie. "I knew I packed them in here."

Within seconds, they had light as the lantern came to life and cast a warm glow over the interior of the cabin. Each member of the family was awestruck as the quaint atmosphere of the dwelling came to life.

"Wow! This is cool!" Seth exclaimed as he took in the large fireplace that dominated the left end of the cabin, in front of which a large bear rug covered the floor. "It feels just like a hunting lodge!"

"I claim the top bunk!" Skylar exclaimed as she spotted the bunk beds in the corner next to the fireplace, running toward it and throwing her pack up and over the rail.

As it turned out, there were two sets of bunks, one on each side of the fireplace and a double bed at the opposite end of the room. All of the beds were rustic in style with stuffed feather mattresses and handcrafeted quilts. The center of the room contained a large wooden table and against the wall opposite the door was a wood stove, used both for cooking and heating the small cabin. Various shelves graced the walls on either side of the stove... and as their eyes became used to the subdued light in the room, it was obvious that everything was covered with a thick layer of dust.

"Well I can see this cabin hasn't been used in a while!" Cat observed as she looked around. "Okay... before we do anything else, the quilts need to be shaken. Claim your bed and get to work."

Groans were heard all around by the kids as they dragged their luggage to their respective beds.

"Cat, maybe I should start a campfire so we can at least see what we're doing out there," Billie suggested as she headed out the door, only to immediately return in a burst of excitement. "Come quick... you gotta see this!" she exclaimed.

Eager to avoid housekeeping chores, the kids immediately dropped their quilts where they stood and ran toward the door.

"Hey!" Cat exclaimed as her offspring deserted her. Unable to stop the stampede toward the door, she too dropped her quilt onto the bed and followed, increasing her speed as sounds of wonder and excitement reached her ears.

Finally, the family of five stood on the front porch, spellbound by the fiery red glow that filled the entire sky before them.

Cat made her way to Billie and stood by her side as the taller woman's arm draped around her shoulder, drawing her close. "Oh my god!" she whispered softly as a sense of serenity filled her soul. "It's beautiful, Billie," she added.

"It's times like this that I realize how insignificant each of us is compared to the power of nature," Billie replied.

Several moments later, the red-orange glow faded as the sun sank below the horizon, leaving the family standing only in the soft glow emanating from the open cabin door.

Feeling overwhelmed, Cat wrapped her arms around Billie's waist and accepted a hug from her wife who kissed her gently on top of the head. "It's too bad the power of nature can't do the dusting for us," Billie said dryly.

"Aarrgghh!" Cat exclaimed. "You're right! Okay troops, back to work!" she ordered, once again being met by a chorus of groans.

**********

After a little elbow grease and a lot of complaining, the Charland clan managed to make the small cabin comfortably clean. After unpacking their personal items and settling in, the clan retreated to the campfire that Billie had so diligently built in the yard in front of the cabin. Carrying a makeshift torch, Billie and Seth rummaged through the tack shed until they found some rustic benches made from boards and wood stumps, which they dragged out and arranged in a circular fashion around the fire. While Bille and Seth worked to provide seating, Cat, Tara and Skylar used the propane lantern to search the edge of the nearby woods for sticks to toast marshmallows.

Finally, the family was seated around the fire enjoying s'mores and excitedly making plans for the upcoming week. With six days to plan, they decided to stay close to the cabin for the first day, taking short jaunts to go fishing and exploring. After that, their plans included trips to Old Faithful, Custer's Battlefield, the Devil's Tower and the Grand Teton National Park, kayaking and hiking. All of these plans would be worked in around Skylar's Junior Ranger program, which required one full day of organized activities with the park ranger staff, as well as several tasks she had to complete on her own in order to earn her Junior Ranger badge.

"Hey Mom... We don't have a refrigerator, do we?" Seth observed as he realized he was thirsty for a nice cold cola.

"Nope! I guess we don't," Billie confirmed.

"Drats! I could really use a cold soda," he complained.

"Sorry about that, Scout. I guess you'll have to drink water. We brought powdered fruit drink mix, if you'd like to make up a pitcher. The water from the well is pretty cold," Billie suggested.

"Okay," Seth agreed as he rose to his feet. "Anyone else want some?" he asked, looking around.

A chorus of "I do's!" rang out from around the campfire.

"I'll give you a hand, sweetie," Cat said as she picked up the lantern and escorted her son into the cabin, leaving her three girls sitting around the fire.

"Mom?" Tara asked. "You said the water in the well is really cold?" Tara asked.

"Yes it is. I guess there's a natural spring that runs under the property," Billie responded.

"It's gonna be kind of cold taking a bath in it," Tara complained.

Billie poked at the fire with her stick before answering. "I've been thinking about that myself," she admitted. "We'll either have to suck it up and brave it.... or wait until later in the day and take a dip in the pond after the sun warms it up."

"And this is supposed to be a fun vacation?" Tara replied sarcastically.

"We can go swimming instead of taking a bath?" Skylar asked hopefully.

"You can go swimming and take a bath at the same time," Billie clarified.

"Cool!" exclaimed Sky, yawning loudly.

"You look tired, rugrat. Why don't you have your fruit drink then climb into bed?" Billie suggested.

"But it's dark in the cabin," Skylar complained.

"I'll tell you what... I'll start a small fire in the fireplace then you can lay in your bed on the top bunk and make shadow puppets on the ceiling with your fingers. How's that sound?" she asked, hopefully baiting the child into cooperating.

Will you and Mama be in soon?" she asked, yawning once more.

"Very soon," Billie replied, rising to her feet and extending a hand to her younger daughter. Wanna help me make the fire?" she asked.

"Sure!" Skylar replied, taking Billie's hand.

"I'll be back in a minute or two, Tare. Okay?" she said to the older girl.

Tara stared into the fire and only nodded her head in acknowledgment.

A slight frown crossed Billie's features in reaction to the teenager's indifference as she first led Skylar to the outhouse, then into the cabin. Once inside, she took Cat aside and confided in her about Tara's odd behavior.

"She seems pretty preoccupied, Cat," Billie explained.

"Yeah, I noticed that myself. She hasn't really had a very positive attitude since we left home," Cat observed.

Seth stood nearby, stirring the fruit juice and couldn't help overhearing his mothers' discussion.

"She'll be fine in a day or two," Seth offered.

Cat and Billie looked quickly at their son, not realizing he could hear their discussion.

"Do you know something we don't know?" Cat asked.

Seth looked at the pitcher and avoided his mothers' eyes while stirring the contents. "I just know that she'll be fine. You'll see," he added.

Billie looked at Cat. "Maybe I should take this chance to talk to her," she suggested.

"Maybe," Cat replied before turning to her son. "Seth, do you mind staying inside for a while so Mom can talk to Tara?" she asked.

"No... I guess not," he said, feeling sorry for his sister.

Billie placed her hand on her son's shoulder. "I was going to start a small fire in the fireplace for your sister. Would you mind doing that for me, Scout?" she asked.

"Sure Mom," he replied.

"Thanks, honey," Billie replied. Reaching for a glass of juice for Tara, and one for herself, she turned toward the door before looking back at her son. "And Seth... don't worry, I'll go easy on her. I just want to be sure she's okay," she added.

Seth just nodded his head in understanding as he watched his mother exit the cabin.

**********

"Here you go, Tara," Billie said as she handed the glass of juice to her daughter.

"Thanks, Mom," Tara replied as she watched Billie sit next to her.

Mother and daughter stared at the fire in silence as they sipped their juice.

Long moments passed without a word between them until finally, Billie broken the impasse. "Tara, are you feeling okay?" she asked softly.

"I'm fine, Mom," the girl replied without looking at her mother.

"Are you sure? You seem a little preoccupied," Billie observed as she poked at the fire with her stick.

"I'm sure," Tara said before falling silent once more.

"Mama is worried about you, Tare... and to be truthful, I guess I am too - just not in the same way Mama is," Billie confessed.

Billie's comment peaked the teenager's curiosity. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Billie thought for a moment before answering. She wanted to say the right thing to avoid alienating the girl. "Well, we've kind of noticed a change in you over the past few months. We'd like to chalk it up to puberty, but I think it's more than that," Billie began.

Tara held up her hand to her mother. "Please don't tell me we're going to have another 'talk'!" she exclaimed, referring to a very embarrassing discussion about the birds and the bees when she first started her menstrual cycle.

Billie chuckled. "No... I won't torture you with that again," she said.

"Thank god!" Tara exclaimed.

"So, like I was saying, we've noticed a change in you... and we've got a pretty good idea what's causing it," the older woman continued.

Tara looked at her mother with unspoken anguish lurking just behind her eyes. She wanted desperately to talk to Billie about the tangle of emotions that were running amok within her chest, but she so didn't know how to start.

Billie reached forward and cupped Tara's chin in her hand. "Sweetie," she said. "You know you can talk to me about anything - right? You can talk to both of us," she stated.

Tara nodded, her eyes beginning to brim with unshed tears.

"You know we love you unconditionally, and there is never anything you could do to change that - right?" Billie asked.

Once again Tara nodded, only this time, allowing a lone tear to escape and roll down her cheek.

Billie smiled. "Good," she said. "Now why don't you talk to me about Kelly," she suggested.

Tara pulled her chin out of Billie's grasp and looked at the fire, blinking rapidly as tears cascaded down her cheeks. Billie slid down the bench, closer to Tara and placed a comforting arm around the child's shoulder. Tara rested her head on Billie's shoulder as she released the emotion and confusion that she had pent up inside for several days.

For several long moments, Billie waited patiently for Tara to speak. When it became obvious the child was unable to start the conversation, Billie decided to speak for her.

"It's real tough to talk about, huh?" the older woman asked softly, squeezing Tara's shoulder gently.

Tara nodded her head rapidly and wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand before casting a pathetic look in her mother's direction. The pain and confusion on Tara's face mirrored what Billie was feeling in her own heart for the girl.

"Let's see if I can help you out," Billie said. Pausing for a moment to gather her thoughts, she began to speak. "Whenever Kelly is with you... whenever you speak to her on the phone... whenever you even think about her, this overwhelming anxious feeling fills your gut. You become light headed... your breathing becomes labored... your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest. You find yourself thinking about her day and night. Every little thing reminds you of her. Sometimes you want to be her." Billie paused to look at her daughter. "Am I close?" she asked.

Tara wiped her eyes again before nodding rapidly - all the while keeping her eyes glued to the fire.

"You miss her, don't you, Tara?" Billie prompted.

Once again, Tara nodded rapidly, only this time, she spared a glance at her mother. "How do you know all this?" she asked.

"Because ten years ago, your mother walked into my aerobics class and by the time the class was over, I was feeling the same way about her that you are feeling about Kelly right now," Billie explained.

"Does it get any better?" Tara asked hopefully.

Billie smiled and nodded. "Yes - it gets better. I have to admit that I still have moments like that sometimes, but for the most part, the out of control feelings are pretty much gone. Luckily though, your mom still has the power to turn my insides to mush!" Billie added, laughing.

"I know what you mean," Tara said, sniffing loudly. "Kelly's turned my world upside down. I can't eat - I can't sleep. Heck, I didn't want to come on this vacation because of her! I wouldn't be here right now is she didn't make me promise to go. I miss her like crazy," Tara admitted.

"Does she know?" Billie asked.

"Yeah... and funny thing is - she feels the same way," Tara replied before adding quickly, "We've decided to take things slow. We're both kinda freaked out about it."

Billie just smiled and nodded, silently communicating her approval at the girls' approach to their new relationship.

Several moments passed as mother and daughter stared once more at the fire. Finally, Tara broke the silence.

"Are you mad?" the teenager asked her mother.

Billie looked at her daughter and smiled in reassurance. "No - I'm not mad. I am hoping like crazy that you don't end up hurt, but I'm not mad. I can't make a decision like this for you, Tara. Only you can do that. I can only support you and give you the love and guidance you need," she explained.

"Seth said Mama is pretty upset about it," Tara said.

Billie once again took Tara's chin in hand. "Mama is worried about you, Tara. She's not upset - she's just worried," Billie explained.

"Why?" Tara asked, confusion clearly written on her face.

"She's afraid you'll become the next Matthew Shepard, Tara. She's scared to death that you'll be ridiculed or worse because of your preferences," Billie said.

"Doesn't she want me to be happy? I would think she - of all people - would understand!" Tara exclaimed.

"Oh, she understands, Tara. She understand much more than you know," Billie replied. "She wants you to be happy, Honey. She would give her life for your happiness, but she also knows how nasty the world can be sometimes. She's lived it, and she is terrified that some day you might find out for yourself how bad it can be."

"I don't want to become another Matthew Shepard either, but I can't live my entire life being afraid. I can take care of myself, Mom," Tara said defensively.

"I know you can, sweetheart, but that won't stop Mama - or me for that matter - from worrying about you. You are very special to both of us. We love you dearly and neither of us wants to see you hurt - emotionally or physically. Do you understand?" Billie asked.

Tara held eye contact with her mother for several long moments as she saw the truth of Billie's words in her eyes. Finally, Tara laid her head once more on Billie's shoulder as they both watched the fire in silence.

Unknown to mother and daughter, Cat had quietly made her way onto the porch and stood silently in the shadows as she listened to their conversation. As the discussion ended and the fire reduced to embers, Cat closed her eyes and allowed tears of relief to flood her own cheeks. Somehow, hearing the truth had lifted the anxiety that had plagued her soul while the truth had been mere speculation. Knowing the truth and seeing Tara deal with it in a mature manner gave her peace of mind and a resolve to be loving and supportive of her daughter, no matter what.

**********

After the conversation by the campfire ended, Cat quietly made her way back inside before Billie or Tara realized she was there. Seth, who was sitting at the table playing Solitaire by lantern light, looked up in anticipation as he searched for a positive sign on his mother's face. Closing the door behind her, she turned to face her son and smiled, immediately relieving the tension on the young man's face.

"Everything all right?" he asked.

Cat approached her son and took his face between her hands. "Everything is fine - just like you said it would be," she replied, kissing him on the forehead before releasing him.

Seth nodded and smiled as his attention was drawn once more to Tara's entrance through the door.

"Mom, do we have any writing paper?" Tara asked the moment she was inside. "I told Kelly I would keep a journal for her."

"Sure, Honey. That's a great idea. Let me get it for you," Cat replied as she rummaged through her backpack and retrieved the writing pad and a pen. Placing it on the table in front of her daughter, she added, "Say hi to Kelly for us, okay?"

Tara sat next to Seth and smiled up at her mother. "Sure!" she replied brightly before beginning to write.

"Where's Mom?" Cat asked, noticing that Billie had not come into the cabin behind Tara.

"She's putting the fire out. She said she'll be in soon," Tara replied without looking up.

Cat didn't wait for her tall wife to come inside - instead, she slipped out of the cabin into the darkness of the night. Looking around, she quickly located Billie crouched by the fire, stirring the embers into cold ashes. Billie stood as she heard Cat's approach, and turned to take the smaller woman into her arms.

"Everything will be all right, Cat," the tall woman said. "Our daughter will be fine."

"I know she will, Billie. I was there... on the porch. I heard the entire conversation. Thank you for loving her, Billie. She is so lucky to have you in her life," Cat replied sincerely.

"I am the lucky one, Cat," Billie replied. "I am humbled by her wisdom at such an early age. You've done a good job raising her Cat."

"We have done a good job, Billie... both of us - and if truth be known, she is much more like you than she is like me," Cat pointed out.

Billie smiled and lowered her head for a kiss. "I love you," she said softly.

"I love you too, Big Guy," Cat answered. "Now douse this fire so we can hit the sheets - I'm beat!"

************************************************************************************************

Continued in Chapter VI