DISCLAIMERS:

COPYRIGHT: Xena Warrior Princess, and Gabrielle, are the property of MCA/Universal and are used here without permission. No copyright infringement implied or intended. No dinars will be made on this story. The leading ladies resemble our two X:WP heroines. Any character or name resemblance to 'real' people currently living or dead is completely coincidental. The characters are mine... If you want to use them, please ask me first. Download it, print it out and pass it around if you'd like, but be sure to include these disclaimers.

SUBTEXT: This is a story about two women who are very committed to a caring and loving relationship. Sex is part of that relationship, but not the focus. There are some mildly graphic sex scenes within, but nothing explicit or kinky. If this type of love offends you, if you are less than 18 years old, or if love is illegal where you live, climb on board the anti-subtext train and get outta town.

VIOLENCE: No... Not this time. After the last few installments, the ladies begged for a break from all the angst and urged me to let them have a little fun. I hope you enjoy this change of scene!

TIME LINE: This is the tenth installment in a modern day Uber-Xena sequence, starting with "The 'Commitment'" and followed by "A Family in Blood", "Personal Preferences", "Fighting City Hall", "Visions in Paradise", "What's In A Name?", "Promise Me Paradise", "While I Was Gone..." and "Unchained Memories". Since these stories are continuations of each other, there are events mentioned within that will not make much sense if you haven't read them all in order.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I strongly believe that love is love, regardless of how it is packaged, so please don't flame me for believing in something so wonderful. All flames will be flushed down the toilet, however, I do encourage constructive criticism. Send all feedback to warriorx@together.net. A very special thank you to those of you who took the time to find my booboo's... I really appreciate it. You know who you are - your help has been invaluable. Thanks! :-)

HAPPY CAMPERS - NOT!

By: kd bard

Started 01/20/99

Finished 03/31/99

PROLOGUE..... LAZY DAYS......

Billie walked into the kitchen yawning, bright and early Saturday morning, dressed in a football jersey, boxer shorts and oversized socks. Her shoulder length hair was in disarray from sleep. Walking over to the coffee pot, she clicked it on, silently congratulating herself for setting it up the night before. While her coffee brewed, she slipped her feet into her mud-cats and trod out to the mailbox to retrieve the morning paper. A car drove by and tooted the horn as she crossed the street. Waving, she recognized the driver as the neighbor who lived on the other side of Jen and Fred. Billie was totally uncaring that she was in her boxer's... Hell, some of the other neighborhood women went out after the paper in their robes and curlers! Certainly a football jersey and boxers were acceptable attire for retrieving the morning paper if robes and curlers were! What she wasn't aware of, was just how sexy she looked dressed like that.

She scanned the front page as she absent mindedly walked back to the house. Nothing of real interest caught her eye. Stepping into the kitchen, she kicked off her boots and threw the paper on the table and reached into the cupboard for a coffee mug. Pouring herself a cup, she returned to the table and started reading. Billie loved this time of the morning. She generally had the house to herself, as everyone else was still sleeping. It seemed lately, that this time of day was the only time the house was quiet. With three children and their friends in and out of the house all day, there was rarely a moment of silence.

Billie picked up her coffee and took a long flavorful sip. Cradling the cup in both hands, she leaned back in her chair and stretched her long legs out in front of her under the table, crossing them at the ankles. A noise and movement to her right caused her to look toward the living room.

There, standing in the doorway, was Skylar, dragging her blanket and teddy bear behind her, and rubbing her eyes with her free fist. Billie smiled, put her coffee mug on the table and opened her arms for the little girl, who happily climbed into them. Curling up on her mother's lap, she pulled her knees into her chest and tucked her head into Billie's shoulder.

Billie wrapped her long arms around the child and hugged her tightly.

Placing a kiss on the girl's head, she said, "Good Morning, Pumpkin. Did you sleep well last night?"

The child nodded her head and snuggled closer.

"Good." Billie replied. Almost instinctively, Billie began rocking back and forth lightly, humming to the child, while she continued to scan the morning paper. She had such an unbelievable sense of peace and happiness in her heart that morning, that she marveled at the feeling. Life had been difficult over the past year, with Tara's kidnapping, her shooting, and Peggy McBride's death at the hands of an abusive husband, not to mention Billie's difficult recovery from brain surgery and her resulting epilepsy. The prospect of living with epilepsy scared Billie. For several months, she was unable to drive, never sure when a seizure might strike, however, after a period of adjustment to the medications, the seizures were well under control.

Memory recall had taken several months... months during which Billie was unsure of herself and her place in the family. In fact, there were still moments when Billie would fail to remember events or faces. She hoped that with time, her total memory would return. Finally, things were back to normal. This feeling of peace was almost surreal.

After several moments, Skylar started to uncurl her tiny form on Billie's lap. She turned toward the tall woman and placed both hand on Billie's cheeks, looking directly into Billie's eyes. "Mommy, I hungry." she said.

"You are, huh?" Billie replied. "You know Mommy's not a very good cook! Do you wanna risk it?" she asked the child.

The five year old smiled a toothy grin and shook her head yes. "Can I help?" she asked.

"You sure can, love bug." Billie said, sliding the child onto her feet, then standing up and going to the cupboard. Opening the door, she said, "Let's see....Okay.. we have cereal, oatmeal, Pop Tarts..."

"Pop Tarts! Pop Tarts!" the child said excitedly, jumping up and down and clapping at the same time.

"Pop Tarts, it is." Billie said, holding the box open to the child for her to select the flavor she wanted.

Once Skylar had chosen her favorite, Billie ripped open the package and lifted the child up to the counter for her to put them into the toaster, putting a couple in for herself as well. Pushing down the lever, the child watched the heating elements inside the toaster glow. Noticing her amazement, Billie settled the child on her hip and said to her, "Sky, the toaster gets very hot when it is cooking something. You can't ever touch it, or you'll get burned, all right?"

"Are those things in there on fire?" Skylar asked, looking inside at the glowing elements.

"No, Sweetheart. They're not on fire, but they are very, very hot. Here, put your hand way up here, above the toaster, and you'll feel the heat rise up. Can you feel it?" Billie asked, holding the child's hand a good distance above the toaster. Skylar nodded her head vigorously. "It gets a lot hotter as you move closer to the toaster, so hot, it will burn you and hurt very much." Billie explained. "So don't ever touch it, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy." Skylar replied, squealing as the Pop Tarts chose that moment to jump up out of the slots.

Billie reached over and took the pastries out of the toaster, placing them on a small plate. Putting Skylar back down onto the floor, she gave her the plate to carry to the table while she poured the child a glass of orange juice, and refilled her own coffee mug. Soon, mother and daughter were enjoying their breakfast together.

Skylar chatted on and off during breakfast, talking mainly about the new little girl named Missy, who had moved in across the street. Finally, there was a child in the neighborhood who was Skylar's age. Seth and Tara were relatively patient with her, but they preferred not to have her tag along all the time.

Finally, breakfast was done. Skylar looked up at Billie and asked, "Mommy, will you watch cartoons with me?"

Billie couldn't resist the child's blue eyes and puppy dog look. "Cat must have looked just like that as a child... except with green eyes." she thought. To the child, she said, "Of course, Dumpling... let's go." Rising to her feet, she put the dirty dishes in the sink and followed Skylar into the living room.

Billie stretched out her long form on the couch, reclining her head against the arm rest. Skylar climbed up and laid down directly on top of her, resting her head on Billie's ample breasts. Billie threw her arm over Skylar to keep her from falling off. Flipping through the channels with the remote, Skylar found the cartoon she was looking for and settled in to watch. In no time, Billie fell asleep, with the child laying comfortably on her chest.

**********

PILLOW TALK.....

About a half hour later, Cat lumbered down the stairs, looking for her morning cup of ambition. "Coffee... coffee!!" she murmured as she walked like a zombie through the living room and into the kitchen. Pouring herself a cup from the pot Billie had made earlier, she leaned her backside against the counter and took a deep sip, sighing blissfully. "Oh, that's good." she said. Picking the paper up off the kitchen table, she walked into the living room to relax in the overstuffed chair to enjoy her coffee.

As she passed the couch, she noticed her wife and child lying there. Stopping, she crouched down in front of them and said, "'Morning Sweet Pea." Noticing that Billie was sleeping, she smiled and said to the child. "You look comfortable."

"Mommy has soft boobies" Skylar said innocently.

Cat laughed. "You're right." she said. "They are soft... they kind of make good pillows, wouldn't you say?" she asked the child.

Skylar smiled. Poking Billie's breasts, she said, "Yeah, they do."

Cat kissed the child on the forehead and said, "Well, you just make yourself comfortable there on your Mommy Pillow and enjoy your cartoons, okay Honey?"

Skylar nodded her head and looked back to the TV while Cat retreated to the chair to enjoy her coffee and paper.

It wasn't long before the other two occupants of the house began to stir. Soon, all three children were sprawled out on top of Billie in one fashion or another, watching TV. How her tall lover continued to sleep through it was a mystery to Cat.

When Cat finished her paper and coffee, she stood up and stretched. "Who's hungry?" she asked, looking at the kids.

Three heads perked up as a chorus of "I am's" rang out.

"French Toast and bacon?" she asked? Looking at three nodding heads, Cat headed into the kitchen and started cooking.

The aroma of cooking bacon caused one six-foot pillow to stir. The first sensation Billie was aware of, after the smell of bacon cooking, was a heavy weight on her chest and legs. Lifting her head, she saw all three children piled on top of her; Skylar laying on her chest, Tara sitting on her thighs, and Seth laying across her shins. "Looks like you guys are holding me prisoner, here... What's the charge, Sheriff?" she said jokingly.

Cat had walked into the living room when she heard Billie's voice. "Sleeping on the job, Outlaw." she said to the tall woman. Then to the children, she said, "Okay, Deputies, what do we do with outlaws?"

"TICKLE THEM!" All three children rang out at once as they pounced on their mother. The couch was a frenzy of arms and legs climbing over each other and flying out in all directions. Suddenly, the entire tangle of bodies rolled onto the floor into a heap. Billie was helpless. Eleven year old Seth was nearly as big as Cat now. Combined with Tara's agility and limberness, and Skylar's size allowing her to get into tight spaces, the trio had her surrounded, ticking her until she was a pile of laughing Jell-O under their fingers. "I give... I give!" she shouted. "You win... please stop!"

Seth helped his mother to her feet. Billie looked at the kids, and said, "You guys play dirty... three against one is not fair!"

Seth raised his hands out to his sides, "Hey, we were only following orders!" he said, indicating Sheriff Cat.

Billie looked at her wife, raised her eyebrows and started advancing toward her. "So you're the culprit, huh?" she asked.

"Oh oh!" said Cat, turning to hightail it back into the kitchen, Billie right on her heels.

Billie chased her into a corner where the cupboards met and pressed up against her. Placing her hands on the counter top on either side of Cat, she leaned in, forcing the smaller woman to lean backward. Lowering her nose to within a inch of Cat's she said with a Southern drawl, "Well, Sheriff, whaddaya think I otta do with ya?"

Cat smiled wickedly. "Well, you could always tie me up?" she said, red-blonde eyebrows wiggling up and down suggestively.

Billie's eyes widened. "Do you mean it?" she asked seriously.

Cat's eyes narrowed seductively, causing a growl to emit from Billie's throat. Billie leaned in closer. "Keep teasing me like that, and I'll take you up on that offer, right here, right now... in front of the kids."

"You wouldn't dare!" Cat said, challenging the aroused woman.

Billie moved her hands around behind Cat and lifted her nightshirt. Slipping her hands inside the back of Cat's panties, she reached down and grabbed two firm mounds, squeezing them hard and pulling Cat's heated center toward her own. "Wouldn't I?" she said.

Cat gulped, eyes wide, and staring into the blue depths looking back at her. "Where's the rope?" Cat asked, baiting Billie further.

Billie's growl deepened. Suddenly, a noise from the living room brought her back to her senses. Releasing her grasp on Cat's buttocks, she removed her hands and took Cat's face firmly between her palms. Cat continued to stare wide eyed at her wife. "You will pay for this later, my love. That is a promise!" Billie warned.

Both sets of Cat's cheeks were warm and throbbing. "I'll hold you to that, Outlaw." Cat said huskily.

Billie leaned down and kissed her long and hard before releasing her on shaky legs. "I think the bacon is burning." she said to the smaller woman.

Snapping back to reality, Cat squealed and ran to rescue the bacon.

**********

YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS.....BUT....

The kids ate quickly and then went to get dressed so they could go outside to play. Having just started their own breakfast, Cat and Billie were sitting there, eating, and enjoying each other's company, when suddenly, the door opened and Jen popped in. "'Morning, Ladies." she said cheerfully as she helped herself to a cup of coffee and then set up a new pot to brew. Cat and Billie looked at each other, smiling at how their friend made herself at home.

"Good Morning, Jen." Billie said.

"Want some breakfast?" offered Cat.

"No... just ate." Jen replied, reaching over to steal a piece of bacon off Cat's plate and dropping a kiss on her cheek. Circling around Billie, she deposited a kiss on her cheek as well, then sat down between the pair, stealing a piece of toast from Billie's plate.

"Sure you don't want to eat, Jen?" Billie asked, smirking.

"No... Really... I just ate." she replied, happily chewing on the toast. "What are you two up to today?" Jen asked.

Billie and Cat looked at each other. "Don't know." Cat said shrugging. "Haven't really thought much about it."

Jen looked over at Billie who also shrugged.

"Boy, you two are a bundle of enthusiasm today!" their friend teased.

"What are you doing today?" asked Cat.

Billie placed her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand. "Yeah, what are you doing today, Jen?" she aped.

Jean grinned and said, "Same thing you are... Don't know!"

"Boy are we in a rut, or what?" asked Cat.

"What's Fred doing today?" Billie asked.

The three women looked at each other and grinned. "Don't know!" they all exclaimed together, laughing.

"Hey, I've got a thought!" Jen said. "Since we're all doing the same thing, why don't we do it together?"

"Cool!" Cat said.

"Go for it!" piped in Billie.

Just then, the back door opened and in popped Fred, followed by Stevie and Karissa.

"The kids are upstairs getting dressed, Sweeties... go on ahead" Cat said to the children. Stevie and Karissa immediately took off into the living room as Fred helped himself to a cup of coffee.

"'Morning." he said to everyone. "What's up?"

"Don't know!" all three woman said at once, dissolving into laughter once again.

Fred just looked at the three of them as though they were nuts. Looking into his coffee cup, he said, "Okay, what did you put in the coffee?"

**********

ATTACK OF THE KILLER ENNUI...

"Have a seat, Fred." Billie said as she pushed a chair out with her foot. Fred accepted the invitation and joined the women at the table.

"So, really... what's up?" he asked.

"We were just sitting here discussing how exciting our lives are these days." Cat said.

"Boring is more the word for it!" Jen piped in. "We really need to do something to get out of this rut." she added.

"What do you mean boring?" Fred said.

"What do I mean?" Jen exclaimed. "Hell, Fred, it's Saturday night and none of us has a date!" she said pointedly.

"Huh?" came the reply from the confused man.

Jen got up to fetch the coffee pot for refills all around. Coming around behind her husband, she filled his cup then leaned in to kiss him on the head. "Sometimes you are so dense, Fred. Why do I keep you around?" she complained, putting the pot back onto the hot plate.

"'Cause you can't resist my good looks and charm?" he asked, grinning.

"Oh Pullease!" Jen groaned. "Look," she said. "Here we are, four healthy adults, five healthy children, and what are we doing? Sitting around pulling lint our of our belly buttons! Geesh... how boring! We need some excitement in our lives." she shouted.

"What do you have in mind, Jen?" Billie asked, thinking that a kidnapping, a shooting, and brain surgery were exciting enough for her.

"I don't know... Let's go somewhere... Do something!" she exclaimed, frustration clearly evident in her voice.

"How about camping?" Cat suggested.

Three pairs of eyes turned toward her. Billie's eyebrows were raised into her hairline.

Before Billie could open her mouth, Jen said, "Great idea... that could be a lot of fun! Yeah... we can rough it in tents. The kids would absolutely love it! Whaddaya all think?" she asked.

Billie opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Fred. "Sounds good to me... count me in!"

Cat grinned at her neighbors, proud that her suggestion had gone over so well with them. She looked at Billie expectantly.

Billie clearly saw the pride on Cat's face. "Shit!" she said to herself. "I hate camping! I know I'm gonna regret this, but how can I say so without hurting Cat's feelings?" "Sure" she heard herself say out loud, trying real hard to put a smile on her face. "Sounds like fun." "Oh well. I guess I can make a sacrifice for one weekend for Cat." she thought.

**********

TIMING IS EVERYTHING....

"TWO WEEKS!... You made reservations for TWO WEEKS?" Billie ranted, pacing back and forth across the kitchen, throwing her arms around wildly. "Cat....are you out of your mind?.....TWO WEEKS?!" she ranted again.

Cat sat very calmly at the table, both hands wrapped around her coffee mug, a travel brochure for the "Happy Trails Campground" on the table in front of her.

"Billie." she said evenly. "The time will fly by... You'll have so much fun, you'll wonder where the time went." she said, trying to calm the angry beast pacing across her kitchen.

Billie was desperate. Seeing that she wasn't going to sway Cat with her ranting, she dropped herself down into the chair adjacent to Cat and reached out for her wife's hands. "Cat.... Honey..." she began. "I have a confession to make.... I really don't like camping... I only agreed to go because you seemed so excited about it." she explained.

"You what?!" Cat responded loudly. "Billie.... I... I.... Arghhh! How can you NOT like camping. That's Un-American!" she said unbelievably. "Billie, have you ever even been camping?" she added.

"Yeah, when I was nine years old. I went to girl scout camp. I hated it. I was taller than the other girls, and they all made fun of me. It was a nightmare!" Billie recalled.

Cat grinned at the thought of her wife in a girl scout uniform. "You must have been cute." Cat said, chuckling.

Billie threw her hands up in frustration. "Cat! We're not talking about how cute I was as a girl scout! Damn it Cat, will you take this seriously for a moment!" she exploded.

Cat wasn't going to let Billie's mood get to her. "Calm down love... you aren't nine years old any more... leave that job to Tara... heavens know, I couldn't handle two of you!" Cat joked.

"Cat, stop changing the subject. Look, a few days, I can deal with.... maybe even a week, but TWO WEEKS?" she exclaimed, trying to make Cat see how unreasonable that length of time was.

Cat reached up to place one palm on Billie's cheek. "Sweet heart, don't be such a baby. You'll have fun... just give it a chance, okay?" she said, batting seductive eyes at the tall woman.

Billie's eyes widened. "Cat..." she began.

Cat stood up and leaned down over the table so that their faces were within a hair's breath from each other. "Yesssss?" she asked, placing butterfly kisses across Billie's mouth.

"I... ah... Cat..." Billie stammered.

"I'm listening." Cat said as butterflies floated across Billie's chin and neck.

"Cat..." Billie moaned. Those damned butterflies were on her collar bone now!

"Hhmmmm?" came the reply.

"Oh, gods... Cat... ahhh....about this camping trip?" the tall woman questioned.

"Yes?" Cat answered.

"Do we get our own tent?" Billie asked.

"Ohhhh Yeah!" answered the red haired woman before she was lifted off her feet and carried up the stairs.

**********

IF THE MOUNTAIN WON'T COME TO MOHAMMED......

Shopping for the camping trip was a disaster. Seeing that they had nothing to start with, the sheer volume of purchases was too large to fit in the car with the family. Billie had to leave Cat and the kids at the mall while she ran their purchases home. She was not a 'happy camper', and they hadn't even left yet!

Billie returned to collect her family a short time later. Getting into the car, Cat spared a glance at Billie and saw the raw anger on her lover's face. When their eyes met, the words "Don't go there!" were written all over Cat's face, effectively halting any retort Billie had planned. The ride home was tense and silent. Even the kids remained quiet for the duration of the ride, sensing their parents' unease.

When they got home, the kids piled out of the car and retreated rapidly into the family room to play. Following Cat into the house, Billie stopped short, almost running into the smaller woman. Cat looked wide eyed at the massive mountain of camping equipment Billie had piled in the kitchen. From behind her, Billie could see Cat's shoulders start to shake. Thinking Cat was crying, she placed her hands on the shorter woman's shoulders, ready to apologize for her mood. Suddenly, Cat sank to the floor, laughing hysterically. Billie raised her eyebrows and looked at her. Soon, the infectious laughter spread and she found herself on the floor next to her wife, holding her side, which was aching with the intensity of her own laughter.

**********

AS TIGHT AS SARDINES...

Jen, Fred, Cat and Billie were all sitting around Jen's dining room table looking at the food list they had just assembled for their camping trip.

"How many of us are there?" Fred teased, earning him an elbow in the ribs from Jen.

"We don't want to run out of food, Fred." Cat exclaimed.

"Yeah, but even our eating machines wouldn't go through all that in two weeks!" Billie observed. "There's enough on that list to feed an army for a month!"

"Okay, okay!" Cat said irritably. "Let's see what we can eliminate."

Cat picked up the pencil and started making check marks next to the items that they absolutely had to have. Billie was looking over her shoulder as she went through the list.

"You forgot to check the popcorn." Billie pointed out as Cat's pencil bypassed it. Cat went back up and checked popcorn, then continued on down the list.

"Wait... what about the stuff you need to make those dumplings with the red stuff in them?" Billie interrupted again. Cat gave Billie a sideways glare and went back and checked off the makings for campfire raspberry turnovers.

"Don't forget ..... Hey!" Billie exclaimed as Cat threw the pencil and list at her.

"You take care of the food list Ms, 'I can't cook to save my soul'," Cat said, stomping away from the table.

Jen came to the rescue. "All right... give me the list." she said, grabbing it from a grateful Billie. "Let's see... Okay.... We've decided to eat together, right? So all we have to do is plan a menu for two weeks, then put together a shopping list from it." Jen said, looking around to see nods of approval from the other three adults. "Okay, give me some suggestions." she said.

"Pizza." Said Fred.

"Pizza? How are we going to cook pizza around a campfire, Fred? We need an oven for that!" Cat pointed out.

"Okay, how about..... tuna noodle casserole." he suggested again.

Jen knocked on Fred's head with her knuckles. "Hello? Is there anyone in there? Fred... No more ideas that require an oven, okay?" she said to him.

Fred shrugged his shoulders as if to say... "Whaddaya want from me?... I'm a guy!"

Cat looked at Billie. "Any ideas, love?" she asked.

Billie looked thoughtfully at Cat for a moment then said, "I don't know... French fries, maybe. The kids will like those!"

Cat covered her face with both hands and shook her head back and forth. Billie just looked at her, amused at the frustrated display. Finally, Cat threw her hands out to the sides and said, "Billie, Fred, why don't the two of you go figure out how we're going to fit all that stuff in the cars. Jen and I will work out the menu and food list, okay?... Oh, and make sure there's room to take the kids along too!"

Billie and Fred got up from the table and gave each other a 'high five' before heading out to the cars.

Jen looked at Cat with raised eyebrows. "Somehow, I get the idea that was planned... don't you?" she said.

Two hours later, the ladies had a comprehensive menu and food list put together. "You know, it does look like a lot of food." Cat admitted.

"Yeah, and we didn't even include the perishable stuff we'll pick up once we get there." Jen observed.

"Oh well, At least we won't go hungry!" Cat observed, folding the list up and pocketing it for that afternoon's grocery shopping. "Hey, let's go see how the packing is going," she added before the two women headed for the back door.

Cat stopped short, causing Jen to plow into the back of her. "Whoa, girl," Jen said. "if you wanted me to get that intimate, all ya had to do was ask!" she joked, peeling herself off Cat's backside. When Cat didn't respond to her offhanded remark, she turned to look at what her friend was staring at. "Holy Shit!" Jen exclaimed.

There in the driveway, were a station wagon and a van, each piled so full of camping gear that daylight couldn't be seen from one side of the vehicle to the other. Mounted on the back of each, were bicycle racks, full of children's bikes. Topping it all off (literally), was a large car-top carrier on Cat and Billie's car that looked like a giant Big Mac container.

Pointing to the hamburger box on top of the car, Cat said... "Tell me that isn't full too."

Billie smiled and replied, "Nope, that's where the food is going."

"We couldn't possibly fill that big thing up with food!" Cat exclaimed.

"A week's worth of massages says you do!" Billie challenged.

"You're on!" replied Cat.

"Hey, what about me?" Fred asked.

Billie and Cat both raised eyebrows to Jen.

Jen looked at them and frowned. "Oh, all right... you're on.... a week's worth of massages for you too Fred.... but Cat and I get to do the shopping!" she said.

"Fair enough!" Billie said, winking at Fred.

Three hours later, it took both Billie and Fred, working together, to force the cover down over the car-top carrier which was bursting with food and cooking supplies.

After latching the cover down, Billie walked over to Cat, dusting her hands off, and said, "I'll take my first massage tonight Sweet heart!" Dropping a kiss on Cat's surprised face, she walked toward Fred chuckling and gave him another 'high five'.

**********

THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF BILLIE'S REVERE.......

To make the eight hour ride easier on the kids (and on themselves, although they would never admit to that), the adults decided to leave at midnight on the night prior to their reservations. Being allowed to stay up until midnight was a treat the kids didn't expect, and they vowed between them to stay awake all night. As predicted, however, by 12:30 am, they were out cold, lulled by the motion of the car and the steady hum of tires on the pavement. One by one, they dozed, leaning against each other and the pillows they had brought with them. As the last one drifted off, Cat turned to Billie and grinned. "It worked!" she whispered, being rewarded with a smile from her lover.

Check in time at the campground was 11 am. The plan was to drive through the night, stopping at rest areas to use the facilities and refill on coffee to keep them awake. They figured they'd get there around 9:30 am..... in time to find a restaurant, eat breakfast, then locate the campground by check-in time. If things went well, the kids would sleep through the drive, giving the adults some much needed peace and quiet.

Most of the driving would be on the interstate highway, which was littered with rest areas every 50 miles or so. Setting the car on cruise control made the trip easier, allowing the driver to just sit back and steer. Such was the case three hours into the trip, when Fred turned into a rest area, Billie right behind him. The four adults exited the vehicles and stretched. Checking on the kids to see that they were still asleep, they went in pairs into the station to retrieve coffee and snacks, while the other two stood guard over their precious cargo. Finally, after using the facilities and stocking up on refreshments, they were once again on their way.

Not five miles later, Billie felt a sudden tug at the steering wheel and had to fight to maintain control of the car as she guided it to the breakdown lane on the highway. "What the hell?" she muttered as she turned off the ignition and climbed out of the car. It was pitch black... no streetlights, nor oncoming traffic to light the way (who else would be stupid enough to be out traveling at 3 am?).

Billie ducked down and poked her head back into the car. "Cat, is there a flashlight in the glove box?" she asked irritably.

Cat rummaged around the glove box until she found the flashlight, then handed it to Billie. Thanking the gods that the batteries were fresh, Billie walked around the car to see what could have caused the problem, finally finding it in the right front tire, which was flatter than a pancake at the moment. "Damn!" she muttered under her breath.

Cat rolled down the window and poked her head out. "Billie, what is it?" she asked.

"Flat tire... gotta change it," came the grumpy response.

Cat was immediately out of the car to lend a hand, following Billie around the back of the car to the trunk.

Billie reached for the hatch release and suddenly remembered that the back end of the car was jammed packed with camping gear. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" Billie stormed, stamping her foot and clenching her fists with each word.

Cat followed Billie's eyes into the back of the car and instantly realized what they would have to do to get to the spare tire, which was located under the rear cargo panel... under sleeping bags and clothes and pillows, and toys and cooking pots and tents and on, and on, and on.... "Oh groan!" Cat said, placing her forehead on the back window of the hatch.

Several frustrating minutes later, Cat was holding the flashlight for Billie to see while she changed the tire. Passerby's wondered in awe why there were two women broken down by the side of the road, in the dead of the night, with what appeared to be boxes and bags and general debris scattered all over the ground behind their car.

Fed and Jen were far enough ahead of them, that they didn't notice they had lost their shadows until several miles later. Pulling into the next rest area, they just decided to sit and wait for them to catch up. A half hour passed, then another.

"Fred, I'm worried, we need to go look for them." Jen said.

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go." he replied, starting the car.

Just as Fred reached for the stick shift, they saw the station wagon limp into the rest area, a very angry Billie, and distraught Cat in the front seat.

Pulling into the parking place beside Fred and Jen, the two women climbed out of the car. Cat excused herself and rushed into the building to retrieve coffee for her and Billie. Billie just leaned back against the car, crossing her legs out in front of her and her arms across her chest.

Fred looked at the small donut tire, then at the mess in the cargo hold of the wagon, and then at Billie. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't even go there!" Billie said, holding up her hand to Fred.

**********

FLIRTING WITH DISASTER.....

The rest of the road trip was uneventful, save the complaints coming from the back seat as the kids started to stir. Billie was riding shotgun at the moment, giving Cat her turn at the wheel while she tried to catch a few minutes of sleep. Just as she dozed off, the first complaint came.

"Mama, I'm hungry." Tara said.

"I gotta go pee pee, Mama!" Skylar announced.

"Will you two shut up so I can sleep?" insisted Seth, who was as fond of sleeping as Cat.

Cat looked at the kids through the rearview mirror. "Can you guys wait for about a half hour? We're almost into town. Okay?" she asked, drawing pouts from both her daughters. Seth just smiled and burrowed down further into his pillow.

A half hour later, Cat nudged Billie awake and told her that they had arrived. Looking at her watch, she noticed that it was almost 11 am. "Damn," she said. "half the day is gone already." Looking around, she told Cat to find the nearest service station so that they could have the tire fixed while they ate breakfast, or rather, brunch, seeing that it was almost noon. After using the facilities and receiving assurances that the tire would be ready in an hour, they set out to find a diner.

"Oh... this is good," Jen remarked, taking a long flavorful sip from her coffee cup. The group found a Shoney's restaurant not too far from the service station, that served a buffet brunch. Soon, the four adults and five children were all sitting around the rectangular table, enjoying a smorgasbord of breakfast and lunch foods.

Their waiter was a young, college aged man, tall, and very good looking, with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He apparently thought that since there didn't seem to be a man with Cat, that she was available to flirt with. He smiled at her, flashing deep dimples and straight, white teeth. Cat innocently smiled back, totally unaware of the flirtation that was going on. Beside the kids, she was the only one unaware of the exchange. Jen and Fred flashed warning glances at Billie, who was becoming more tense and angry by the minute. Jen could see the cords in her neck tighten up each time the young man approached the table or flashed Cat a smile from across the room.

Jen reached out to Billie, who was seated next to her, and placed a hand over the tall woman's larger one. Billie looked at Jen, who just shook her head slightly side to side, warning her not to do anything stupid. Billie just drew her brow together in a frown and gave Jen a "what would you do?" look. Jen 'accidentally' dropped her napkin on the floor between her and Billie. Bending over to pick it up, she noticed that Billie didn't follow her down like she was supposed to, so she reached up and grabbed the taller woman's arm, jerking her head down below the table level with her.

"Damn it, girl. I don't want to spend our vacation visiting you in jail. If looks could kill, he'd be dead right now.. Don't you dare lay a hand on him... do you hear me?" Jen warned.

"If he undresses her one more time with his eyes, I'm gonna undress him with my fists, Jen." Billie stated.

"Look Billie, all you have to do is make a peaceful statement," Jen said.

"A what?" Billie said, starting to feel faint with the blood rushing to her head.

"A statement... you know... stake your claim on Cat in front of him... tell him to back off in a nice way." Jen explained.

"Ooohhhhh, I see!" Billie said, rising back into her chair, followed by Jen.

Cat eyed her wife and friend suspiciously.

Billie reached her arm over and started rubbing Cat's back. Cat looked the dark haired woman through narrow eyes.

Next, Billie allowed her hand to drop onto Cat's leg, rubbing her thigh up and down under the table. Cat sat up stiffly, enjoying the sensation, but wondering what her wife was up to.

Finally, Billie's hand traveled north to the one place on Cat's body that gave her total control over the smaller woman. Cat gasped, drawing a knowing smile out of Jen.

Mr. Pretty Boy decided to visit the table to refill Cat's coffee cup at the exact moment that Billie's fingers slipped into the "V" between Cat's legs. "Gods!!" Cat exclaimed, turning her face to Billie, who quickly bent over to claim her lips in a sensuous kiss.

Mr. Pretty Boy was so shocked by the display, that he overfilled Cat's coffee cup, pouring the coffee all over the table.

"Hey... Hey! It's full!" Seth yelled to the waiter.

"Oh my god... ah... ah.... sorry about that!" the waiter said, red faced. Grabbing a cloth, he started cleaning up the mess on the table as Billie and Jen looked at each other, grinning ear to ear.

Finally, Cat caught on to what had happened. She reached under the table and punched Billie hard in the thigh.

"Ow! What was that for?" Billie asked, already knowing the answer.

"You shit heads!" Cat said to the two women. "That poor man," she said, motioning to the waiter who had run off to find a dry rag. "You little snakes... you did that on purpose, didn't you?" she accused.

"He asked for it." Billie said in her own defense. "Cat, he was flirting with you!"

"So what if he was?" Cat said.

"I remember one red headed spitfire stepping in between me and a certain female detective not too long ago. I had to hold you back to prevent you from scratching her eyes out!" Billie reminded her lover.

Cat had the good graces to blush while Jen and Fred looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"Okay! All right! We're even," Cat said putting her napkin on the table.

"Good," Billie said. Looking around the table, she asked, "Are we all done?" Receiving numerous nods, she and Fred rose to their feet to go pay the bill while Jen and Cat organized the kids.

The kids all ran out of the restaurant ahead of the adults to their respective cars. Cat met Billie at the register while Fred went to help Jen settle the kids. Billie noticed that their waiter was there, preparing to seat another couple. Making a show of taking Cat's hand in hers, Billie raised Cat's knuckles to her lips and kissed each one. The waiter stood watching them, his eyes filled with awe and envy. Looking over at the good looking man, Billie just winked, then led Cat out of the restaurant hand in hand.

**********

SHE HAS MANY SKILLS.....

After collecting and installing the repaired tire on Billie's car, the troupe set off to find the Happy Trails Campground. With instructions from the locals, they were able to find it without too much difficulty, checking in about a hour and a half later than planned. In order to have room to stretch out, they rented two camp sites, side by side. On one site, they planned to pitch the tents, and set up a cooking/eating area. On the other site, they parked the cars, set up a ring of stones for a campfire, and reserved space for the kids to play.

It took a full three hours to unpack the cars and organize the gear. They decided to set up the eating area first, pitching the screen tent, then storing their food and cooking supplies inside. The screen tent had flaps on each side that could be rolled up to let breeze in, or down to keep out wind and rain. Next, they set up the children's tents. They were small 3-man dome tents that went together relatively easy. They placed them so that their entrances faced each other in the center of the campsite. The sleeping arrangements had been decided by the kids, with Stevie and Seth in one tent, and Skylar, Karissa and Tara in the other. Laying out pillows and sleeping bags inside the small tents, the adults then moved on to their own shelters.

Billie and Cat's tent was a larger version of the children's dome tent. Before long, they had it set up inside and out, positioned to one side of the smaller tents. They had enough room in their tent to store the suitcases (theirs and the children's), and extra blankets. When they had finished, Billie sat down in the middle of their sleeping bags and pulled Cat down into her lap, nuzzling her nose into the smaller woman's neck.

"Maybe this won't be so bad." the tall woman admitted.

Cat just moaned and leaned her head back further to allow Billie better access.

Billie lowered Cat to the pillows and sensuously ran her hand over Cat's breasts. "You are so beautiful, my love" she said, squeezing the supple flesh through her shirt. Leaning in, she devoured Cat's mouth, her tongue demanding, and gaining entry. Cat sucked the organ in greedily, causing a deep moan to emit from Billie's throat.

Sounds of bickering reached the ladies' ears as Billie pulled the shirt out of Cat's waistband. Billie stopped and looked at Cat. Cat turned her face in the direction of the noise. "We'd better go see...." she suggested.

Billie dropped her head to Cat's chest and sighed through her frustration. Looking back into Cat's eyes, she said, "Tonight, my love..."

Cat just nodded and lifted her head to kiss Billie's nose, causing the older woman to smile. Rising to her feet, Billie helped Cat up, who took a moment to straighten her clothes before exiting the tent.

Jen and Fred were standing at the back of their van, tailgate open. Jen's hands were gesturing wildly as they argued back and forth. Cat and Billie walked over to them, hand in hand. "Problems?" Billie asked.

"Ask Einstein, here," Jen said, indicating Fred with her hand.

Billie turned to look at Fred. "Tent poles," he said.

"Tent poles." repeated Billie. When Fred remained silent, she looked around at the supplies that had been thrown haphazardly out of the van. Realization struck her. Looking back at Fred she said, "Don't tell me... you forget them, right?"

"Right." he said, looking down at the ground and kicking the dirt around with his toe.

Billie raised her hand to her mouth to hide her grin. Seeing the look on Billie's face, Jen lost her cool. Throwing her hands in the air, she stomped around shouting. "Wonderful... this is just wonderful! We'll be sleeping under the mosquito infested stars tonight and you think it's funny?" she ranted.

Cat wasn't liking her friend's attitude toward her wife one bit. Reaching over to Jen, she wrapped her arm around the blonde's shoulder and said, "Calm down, Jen. We'll think of something... after all, Billie 'has many skills'."

Billie put her hands on her hips and started walking around the tent, which was staked securely in the ground by all four corners, but lay crumpled in on itself for lack of structural support. Noticing that their campsite was basically surrounded by trees, Billie smiled and said, "Got some rope?" An hour later, Billie and Fred had tied up the four corners of the roof and the center peak into the trees by ropes. From a distance, the tent appeared to be perfect... as it would have been with the tent poles. It looked kind of weird up close, but hey, it was functional. Once the job was done, all four adults stood in front of it and looked up. Jen was the first to start laughing. Before long, all four of them were in varying degrees of incapacity from the laughter rumbling through their bellies.

The kids chose that moment to return from exploring the campground on their bikes. Noticing the odd behavior coming from the adults, they approached cautiously until they were close enough to see what they were laughing about. The girls lost interest immediately as they climbed into their tent to play dolls. Seth and Stevie just shook their heads and rummaged through the camping gear for their fishing poles to try out the stream that ran behind their campsites.

It was nearly 6 pm when the final piece of gear was stowed away and the campsite fully organized. The rumbling in Cat's stomach reminded the campers that they hadn't eaten since lunch. Jen and Cat decided that they would take care of cooking duties if Billie and Fred tended the campfire and cleaned up afterward. Considering that neither Billie, nor Fred could cook anything edible, they all agreed that it was a fine arrangement. An hour later, the kids had been gathered, hands washed, and the two families were sitting contentedly around the picnic table eating hamburgers, chips and corn on the cob.

The kids chatted amicably while four very tired adults took deep breaths and sighed, feeling pretty good about what they had accomplished that day. Despite a 10 hour drive that should have been 8, a flat tire, a near fatal encounter in the restaurant, and some creative rope work, they were now settled in and ready for their two-week adventure. Life.... was good.

**********

HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT.....

Later that evening, the two families were sitting around the campfire, making smores and planning activities for the next two weeks.

"Damn!" Cat exclaimed as another marshmallow fell from her stick into the fire. Skylar was waiting patiently at her side, armed with a graham cracker and chocolate, ready to trap the toasted marshmallow between the scrumptious layers as soon as Cat finished with it.

"Aw Mama!" Skylar complained, seeing another marshmallow go up in flames on top of the log.

"Here, let me do that." Billie said, taking the stick from Cat and spearing a new marshmallow with it. Within moments, it was perfectly toasted and sandwiched in Skylar's treat.

"Thanks, Mommy," Skylar said.

Billie looked down at the child and smiled as Cat glared at her. "How do you DO that?" she asked.

Billie opened her mouth to answer, but Cat interrupted her, "I know.... you have many skills, right?"

Billie just grinned and sat back down in her lawn chair. She reached out and pulled Cat into her lap, whispering seductively in her ear, "I could toast your marshmallows if you want me to!"

Cat gave her a 'not in front of the neighbors' look before leaning in and whispering back, "They're half melted already. Remember your promise... tonight!"

"How could I forget?" Billie asked, reaching up to trace Cat's jaw line with her index finger, stopping under her chin to pull the smaller woman's face down for a kiss.

Jen and Fred looked at each other and smiled. Jen leaned into Fred and took his hand in a silent promise of bedtime bliss. Fred lifted Jen's hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it before winking at her and then turning his attention back to the fire.

Noticing that it was nearly midnight, Cat called a halt to marshmallow roasting and ordered the kids to bed. While Cat and Jen were busy tucking them securely inside their tents, Billie went around picking up chocolate bar wrappers and left over paper plates and napkins from their dinner and threw them into the fire, which quickly turned them to ash. Then, reaching into the cooler, she produced two beers and handed one to Fred.

"I really want to thank you for your help with the tent today, Billie." Fred said. "I can't believe I left the poles at home. I can still see them leaning against the garage door."

Billie just chuckled. "No problem... Hey, what's on the agenda for tomorrow?" Billie asked this last question just as Cat and Jen settled themselves back into their lawn chairs around the fire. Billie rose from her seat to get them each a beer, popping Cat's open for her before handing it over. Cat smiled at her in thanks.

"Well, I read the brochure over pretty thoroughly and by the sound of it, there's a lot to do right here, but we also might want to check out the surrounding attractions. I understand there is a giant shopping mall not too far from here." Jen explained.

"Shopping?" Cat said, perking up, her travel fatigue suddenly shed.

"Oh groan!" Billie said out loud.

"Ditto!" said Fred.

Cat stuck her tongue out at the pair.

Billie's eyes widened. Without thinking, she blurted out, "Keep that up and I'll put that tongue to good use!"

Jen spit her mouthful of beer out across the campfire and started choking. Fred laughed and rubbed her back. "Thanks a lot. I swear Billie, you make it your mission in life to embarrass the hell out of me!" she complained.

Cat had dropped her face into her hands in embarrassment after Billie blurted out that expletive. Looking up at Jen, she said, "Don't worry, my friend, she does it to me too.... all the time."

"Do what?" Billie asked. "Embarrass you, or put your tongue to good use?"

Cat smacked Billie in the arm. Billie stuck her tongue out at Cat and wiggled it around, raising her eyebrows up and down.

"Arrgghh!" Cat exclaimed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Well......" Billie began.

"Never mind! Never mind... forget I asked! Geesh!" Cat groaned.

Billie caught Fred's eye and winked.

"Well, time for bed." Fred said. The campfire discussion had him eager to get Jen alone in their tent. Rising to his feet, he grabbed the thick stick they were using as a poker and spread out the glowing embers inside the fire ring while Billie slowly poured a half bucket of water over them. Soon, the fire was out and the campers were heading to bed.

As soon as they entered their tent, Cat turned on the flashlight and then pounced on Billie, rolling her onto the sleeping bags onto her back. Laying directly on top of the taller woman, nose to nose, she looked deep into the sea of blue and said, "You, my love, are a big tease. You had Fred so hot, he couldn't wait to get Jen into the tent." she said.

"Well, he couldn't possibly be as hot as I am for you right now." Billie growled, pulling Cat's mouth down to hers for a toe curling kiss.

Cat returned the kiss with all the passion she could muster. Billie was so inflamed, that she tore impatiently at Cat's clothes, wanting to feel the smaller woman's skin as fast as possible. Between the two of them, they had Cat's clothes off and thrown into the corner of the tent in record time. Locking their legs together, Billie rolled them over so that her body lay completely on top of the smaller woman, trapping her in place. She began to kiss and nip at Cat's neck, causing her to writhe in agonizing desire.

"I need you, Billie.... please!" Cat pleaded, roughly pulling at Billie's clothing.

Suddenly, they heard a noise outside their tent. Both women froze.

"Mama?" the voice said. "Mama, I'm scared."

The sound of the zipper moving set both women into action. Billie pulled her T-shirt back over her head quickly and then helped Cat locate her own shirt and panties. By the time the zipper was totally opened, Cat had just pulled her drawers into place and the two women were laying side by side, trying to act casually. Had their intruder been anyone but a child, they would have noticed the flush on their faces and desire in their eyes. Fortunately for them (or unfortunately, as was the actual case), their visitor was a child who was totally unaware of what she had just interrupted.

Cat sat up. "Skylar, Honey. What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm scared. I can hear funny noises." she explained.

"Sky, they're just crickets. They won't hurt you. They can't even get into your tent, Sweetie." Billie explained. "Come on, love, I'll bring you back and tuck you in." she suggested.

"No!!" Skylar wailed, starting to cry. "I wanna sleep with you. Please?" she begged.

Billie stared at her daughter, wide eyed. "By the gods, was she ever going to get relief from this ache in her loins?" she thought. She looked over to Cat, who looked back with a pained expression. It was obvious that her thoughts were mirrored in the red haired woman's eyes. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and ran her hand through her hair. Throwing her hands up at her sides, she gave in. "All right... All right - but only for tonight. Okay?" she said.

"Okay, Mommy." Skylar chirped happily as she crawled in next to Cat and snuggled against the smaller woman's breasts.

Billie couldn't resist a smile. "Lucky kid." she thought. Out loud, she said, "I'm gonna go check on the other kids and make sure the girls' tent is zipped up, okay? Be right back." Billie leaned in and kissed both Cat and Skylar on the cheeks before checking out the campsite. After assuring herself that all was well, she went over to the bucket of water they kept next to the fire ring and reached in with both hands, pulling up a large hand full of water to splash over her heated face. "Its gonna be a long night!" Billie thought as she headed back to her tent.

**********

YOUR SWORD IN MY SERVICE.....

Cat woke up the next morning to find Billie missing and Skylar sprawled out over the top of her. Dislodging herself from under the child without waking her up was no easy chore, but with a little effort, she was free. She slipped on her boxer shorts and shoes and then grabbed the toiletries, towel, and a change of clothes and headed toward the showers. Before she got but a few feet up the trail, she saw Billie jogging toward her, dark sweat stains adorning her T-shirt on her chest and armpits, and a sheen of sweat glowing on her bare arms and legs. Noticing that Cat was on her way to the showers, she held her hand up in a 'don't move, I'll be right back' motion, as she ran by her to their tent. Moments later, she met Cat on the trail, with a clean towel and change of clothes of her own. Scooping Cat up into her arms, she swung the smaller woman around in a circle before putting her back on her feet and kissing her soundly.

"Hey, you're all sweaty!" Cat complained.

"So... You were on your way to the showers, weren't you?" Billie responded.

"Yeah." Cat replied.

"Want some company?" Billie asked, backing Cat up against a tree and pinning her there with her body.

"And if I say No?" Cat teased, looking up mischievously into sky blue eyes.

"Then I'll have to dishonor my family name by forcing myself upon you, my lady," Billie mused.

"Is that a threat or a promise, fair knight?" Cat teased.

"What would you like it to be, my lady?" Billie asked.

"Well, so far you haven't been very good about keeping your promises, brave knight. I desperately needed your sword in my service last night, and you failed me," Cat said, reminding her about last night's frustrating end.

"Ah, great lady, but last night's folly was not my fault. The dragon child interrupted me. I had no choice but to yield to her power. Will you give me another chance, my lady?" Billie asked, taking a step back and bowing at the waist.

"Give me a moment, and I will consider it." Cat replied. A split second later, she continued, "Enough... I have made my decision..... To the showers! And when we are through dear knight, the shower stall had better not be the only wet thing in the room!"

A grin split Billie's face ear to ear. "You have my word, my lady. My sword will be in your service for as long as you need it. Total satisfaction, great lady, and wetness guaranteed." Billie stated.

"Lead the way, brave knight!" Cat said, taking Billie's arm as they strolled toward the showers.

For the next full hour, the women in that area of the campground curiously avoided the showers. Several could be seen approaching the building (including Jen), but quickly turned around and beat a hasty retreat at the sounds coming from within. On the way back to the campsite, Jen smiled to herself, thinking how she would rib her friends for their little indiscretion. Soon, two very wet, and very satisfied women, one short and fair, the other tall and dark, walked hand in hand through the trails to their campsite.

Jen had set the percolator on the propane grill to brew not long after Cat and Billie left for their shower, so coffee was ready for them when they returned. Motioning for them to sit down at the table, Jen brought three mugs and the coffee pot over and served up the rich, dark liquid to each of them. Sitting opposite the two women, Jen took a sip of her flavorful brew and said, "Sword in my service, huh? Which one of you is the screamer?"

Billie nearly choked on her coffee while both women turned fifteen shades of red. "You heard that, huh?" Billie asked, embarrassed, while Cat found something very interesting to look at in her coffee cup.

"Big Guy, the whole campground heard it. I suspect many of our fellow campers won't go near that shower again for several days. Sounded like someone had a polecat cornered in there.... So, which one of you is the screamer?" she asked again.

Billie and Cat looked at each other and then back at Jen. "She is!" they both said, pointing at each other.

**********

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES.....

The ladies were on their second cup of coffee when Fred meandered back to the campsite from his own shower. A grin splitting his face from ear to ear. "You should have heard the racket up at the showers!" he exclaimed, chuckling. "Who ever it was, sure was going at it hot and heavy!" he added, smiling broadly.

"Ahem..." Jen said, clearing her throat to get Fred's attention while her hand ran through the back of her hair. Fred looked her way while she nodded her head sideways and raised her eyebrows at their friends, who were very busy contemplating the top of the picnic table.

"Get out!" he shouted, eyes wide with disbelief. "No way.... really? Well, I'll be... which one of you is the screamer?" he asked.

"Oh gods!" Cat said as she dropped her forehead to the table while Billie looked up at the sky. "Looks like rain," she said.

Cat and Billie were saved from further teasing by sounds of the kids waking up. The adults' eyes were drawn to the two small tents in the center of the campsite as the zippers opened, revealing four heads looking sleepily out at them.

"Mama." Tara said. "Sky is gone."

"No she isn't Sweetie." Cat said. "She's in my tent. She crawled in with us not too long after you two fell asleep."

"Well that explains a lot!" Jen teased.

Billie reached her long arm up and grabbed a handful of Jen's blonde hair. Pulling her down onto the bench beside her, she whispered into her friend's ear, "Enough, Curly... got it?", then proceeded to kiss her soundly on the mouth, effectively shutting her up, before releasing her.

Jen sat there stunned, looking back and forth between Cat and Billie. Finally, regaining her senses, she said, "Wow... Cat. Remind me never to question your motives again!"

Fred walked over and mussed his wife's hair. "You asked for that, Jen." he said, laughing.

Skylar chose that moment to emerge from Cat and Billie's tent. Looking around the campsite, she quickly located her mothers and ran into Billie's open arms. She curled up in Billie's lap and laid her head in the hollow between Billie's breasts. Seconds later, she lifted her head and looked directly into Billie eyes. "Your boobie pillows are softer than Mama's." she said.

Cat, Fred and Jen all spit mouthfuls of coffee across the campsite at the announcement.

Billie looked at her daughter like she was an alien from outer space.

"What did you say?" she asked, casting a dirty look at the three laughing adults.

"Your boobie pillows are softer than Mama's." Skylar repeated. "Mama said you had soft boobies and they make good pillows. She's right!" Skylar explained.

Now it was Cat's turn to blush. Seeing her wife's embarrassment, Billie prodded the child further. "What do you mean, mine are softer than Mama's?" she asked the little girl.

"I forgot my pillow last night, so I used Mama's boobies, but they're not as soft as yours. Can I use your boobies tonight?" she asked innocently.

Fred and Jen were howling now. Cat sat there, red to the roots of her hair, wishing she could slink under the table undetected, while Billie tried desperately to keep a straight face and explain to her daughter that she would be sleeping in her own tent with the girls tonight.

**********

IT'LL HURT YOU IN THE END (LITERALLY).....

After a hearty breakfast, the crew decided that they would try horseback riding in the morning, and then spend the afternoon at the beach. The stables were located on the opposite side of the campground from their sites. It was such a beautiful day, that the adults decided to walk, while the kids rode their bicycles. Walking hand in hand through the trails, Cat and Billie drew a lot of curious looks, some of them not so pleasant.

At one point on the trail, they passed a hiker who obviously disapproved of two women holding hands, and said as much. Jennifer was on him in a heartbeat, tackling him to the ground and sitting on his chest with her hands around his throat. "Take it back!" she demanded.

"Arrgghh... Let... go!" the man complained.

"I said, take it back!" she demanded again.

Billie reached down and took Jennifer by the shoulders. "Jen, let him go... he isn't worth the effort," she said to her friend.

"No, Billie... he needs to be taught a lesson!" Jennifer replied.

"Jen! Let go of him.... NOW!" Fred said, finally stepping up and taking charge of the situation.

Jennifer looked up at Fred and realized that he was quite serious. Looking back at the man on the ground, she spat into his face, "You are damned lucky, you son of a ...."

"Jen!" Cat interrupted. "Please, just get off him and let him go. Billie's right - he isn't worth it, okay?"

Jennifer rose to her feet as Fred reached down and helped the man up. Thinking he was free and clear, the man was quite surprised when Fred twisted his arm behind him and slammed him face first up against a tree. Leaning into the man, Fred whispered into his ear, "The next time you bad mouth my friends like that, you won't be so lucky, understand?"

The man nodded vigorously, then ran up the path as Fred released him.

Fred wiped the dirt off his hands as he grinned at his friends. "I bet he'll think twice before he opens his mouth next time!" he said.

Billie placed a hand on Fred's shoulder and said, "Thanks, friend. Now, how 'bout we mosey on down the trail and find us some doggies to ride?"

"I reckon that's a good plan, partner." he said. Turning to Jennifer, he added, "Whaddaya say Ma?"

"Well, I reckon you might be right Pa, what'cher wait'n fer?" she replied.

Cat hooked her thumbs into the belt loops on her jeans. Looking at Billie, she said, "Lead the way, Billie-girl... I gotta hankerin for a trail ride."

All four adults broke into silly giggles as they continued on down the trail toward the stables.

As children often do with new things, they picked up the knack of horseback riding like they were born in the saddle. The adults, on the other hand, were another story... some of them anyway.

The trail ride started out tame enough. The horses seemed to be well behaved and accustomed to walking the often used trails through the campground. The children were riding happily, some distance in front of the adults. Billie leaned over in her saddle to give Jennifer some instructions about controlling the horse with pressure from her knees as well as through the reins, when suddenly, Jennifer's horse was spooked by a snake. The horse reared up onto its hind legs and whinnied in fear. Jennifer held onto the saddle horn for dear life, screaming her lungs out. Billie, Cat and Fred's horses automatically moved back away from their nervous sibling.

Jennifer's horse returned its front hooves to the ground, only to take off running across the meadow to escape the reptile. Jen, being a very inexperienced equestrian, bounced around unmercifully in the saddle, just trying not to fall off.

Billie took off after the renegade horse and rider as Cat and Fred went to collect the children. Billie, having learned to horseback ride as a child, was able to skillfully direct her steed toward Jennifer, and in no time, had caught up to the side of the runaway horse. By this time, poor Jennifer's feet had come out of the stirrups and she was just barely able to maintain her perch on the horse by the saddle horn in one hand and a grasp full of mane in the other.

Coming up beside Jennifer, Billie leaned over and grabbed the loose reins, pulling the frightened animal to a stop. Jennifer's eyes were wild with fear. Billie leaned over once more to calm the hysterical woman and ended up with Jennifer practically climbing up her arm and into her lap on the other horse. After helping Jennifer settle in front of her, she tied the reins of the other horse to the saddle and started back toward where Cat and Fred were waiting with the children. Jennifer clung to the arm Billie had wrapped around her midsection, all the way back. Upon reaching the others, Billie lifted her up by the waist and easily deposited her in the front of Fred's saddle, where he wrapped his long arms around her and whispered soothing endearments to her during their ride back to the stable.

Jennifer was never so happy to have her feet back on solid ground as she was when Fred lowered her from the horse back at the stables. Jen was quiet on the walk back to the campsite, enduring the teasing from the other adults good naturedly.

When they arrived, it was nearly lunch time. Billie and Fred took the van to the office to purchase some more fire wood as Cat set out to feed cold meat sandwiches and chips to the kids, who were sitting around the picnic table, patiently waiting for their lunch. Jennifer paced nervously around the campsite, hands on her hips. Every now and then, she'd stop and run her hands up and down her backside.

Cat smiled knowingly at her friend. "Hurts, huh?" she asked.

"Ohhhh Yeah!" Jennifer said, rubbing her butt again.

Jennifer spent the rest of the day either standing or laying down. She thanked the gods that they had planned an afternoon at the beach, for it gave her the opportunity to lay on the blanket in the sand... on her stomach for the better part of the afternoon.

After returning to their campsite for the evening, Billie noticed her friend's discomfort, and pulled a jar of soothing salve out of their first aid kit. Bringing it over to Jennifer, she grinned and said, "I'd rub it on for you, but I don't think Cat and Fred would appreciate it!"

"You got that right!" Cat replied.

"Ditto!" Fred added, catching the jar of salve that Billie threw at him.

**********

ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY.....

Jennifer was so sore the next morning, she could barely stand. Walking was pure torture and sitting was totally out of the question. After feeding breakfast to the crew, Cat talked Billie and Fred into taking the kids to explore the caves that the campground brochure had boasted about, while she and Jennifer soaked in the hot springs.

Putting on their bathing suits and grabbing clean towels, the two women set off (slowly) toward the springs. Moments later, they were lounging in the hot water, lily pads floating around them as steam rose from the surface of the water. As luck would have it, they were alone. Sitting on the underwater ledge that skirted the man-made pool fed by the hot spring, Cat leaned her head back and sighed. "This feels wonderful. Don't you think, Jen?" she asked.

It had taken Jennifer a good 20 minutes to seat herself somewhat comfortably in the pool, shifting from cheek to cheek periodically to relieve residual discomfort. She too leaned her head back, closed her eyes and sighed. "Cat... you are a life saver," she said. "Thank you for talking me into this.... it feels great!" Having not slept well the night before because of a certain sore area of her anatomy, Jen promptly fell asleep with her head and arms resting on the edge of the pool. Cat looked at her friend and smiled, then leaned her head back and closed her own eyes.

Looking over at her companion, Cat was instantly struck with such desire that she felt a shudder start in her loins and travel clear up to her head, causing a heady feeling of light headedness. "By the gods, she is beautiful." she said to herself as she moved behind the woman to gain better access to her hair. Reaching up, she squeezed out a sponge full of water over the other woman's long, dark tresses, rinsing the soap out. She had to force herself to resist the temptation to lean forward and bury her face in the silky locks before her. Gods, how she desired this woman! Suddenly, the woman moved around Cat and took her turn at washing the red head's hair. After rinsing the soap out, she started washing her neck and ears. Cat turned to face her and their eyes met, noses a bare fraction of an inch apart. Looking away, the other woman nonchalantly splashed a bit of water at Cat. Cat splashed her back. Soon, a full fledged water fight ensured. After a few moments, the splashing died down, and the women returned to bathing each other. Cat felt a movement against her leg, starting at her knee, then moving closer... closer to her treasure. Cat became more and more inflamed with each passing moment.

Then it happened.... "Yikes!!" Cat screamed as a searing pain shot through her thigh, jolting her out of the most pleasant dream she could imagine. She jumped up out of the water, holding her leg and screaming.

"What the Hell!" Jennifer said, being startled awake by Cat's screams. "Cat... What is it!?" she said.

"Get out of the water, Jen... quickly, get out!" Cat yelled.

"Why?" Jen asked.

"Snake! In the water!" Cat exclaimed.

Now it was Jen's turn to scream. Despite her sore bottom, Jen was out of the water like a shot, quickly scrambling around behind Cat and peering over Cat's shoulder into the water in time to see a white bellied snake slither away. "Oh my god... Oh my god!" Jen said.

"Jen, it bit me!" Cat shouted. "It bit me!"

"Let me see." Jen demanded.

Looking at Cat's leg, it was obvious that the snake had indeed bitten Cat. There were two small holes in Cat's thigh, about half inch apart.

"Are you okay, Cat? How do you feel?" Jen asked.

Cat took a moment to take stock in how she felt. "I'm a little light headed, but I don't know if its' the snake bite or the scare that's responsible for it. My leg feels kind of weird though." she said.

It didn't take long for Jen to find a park attendant at the hot spring who arranged for a jeep to transport Cat to the campground infirmary. After a thorough examination and a description from the ladies about what the snake looked like, the doctor assured them that it was non-lethal, and that its venom would only cause a numbness that would wear off in a day or two. In the meantime, he prescribed immobility for Cat until the feeling returned to her limb.

"Great, just great!" Cat said. "Billie's gonna have a fit! What else can go wrong?"

"What do you mean?" asked Jen.

"Jen, Billie wasn't too crazy about this camping trip to begin with. So far I'm inclined to agree with her. I mean, look at us.... a flat tire on the interstate, that flirt at the restaurant, the tent poles, the shower incident, that homophobic guy on the trail, your ride on 'Trigger - Horse from Hell', now this snake bite! What else can go wrong?" she exclaimed.

Little did the ladies know, at that very instant, Billie was being rushed to the infirmary from the caves, where she had accidentally walked into a nest of mosquitoes.

**********

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.....

"Bugs!... I HATE bugs!" Billie ranted as Cat applied anti-itch cream to Billie's body. Her face was so swollen with bite marks that she was hardly recognizable. When Fred, Billie and the kids arrived at the infirmary, the doctor immediately rushed Billie in and gave her a shot of adrenaline to combat the itch venom. Unfortunately, it wore off after about an hour, throwing Billie into a frenzy of scratching and rubbing, trying desperately to find some relief from the irritation.

Cat slapped Billie's hand away for the umpteenth time. "Stop that or you'll dig yourself raw!" Cat scolded... again!

"Cat, this is driving me CRAZY!", she exclaimed, her voice rising an octave with each word spoken.

"Billie... hold still. Your squirming is making this difficult. Don't forget, I have limited mobility here... I can't go chasing you around the tent to spread this cream on you, you know!" Cat complained.

Billie tried to remain still, laying on her stomach in the tent while Cat applied the itch cream over her bare back. Neither woman spoke for long moments. Finally, Billie turned her head and said to Cat, "Does it hurt?"

"Huh?" Cat said, looking up suddenly at the sound of Billie's voice. While running her hands over her wife's lean, muscular shoulders, she had allowed her mind to drift back to the dream she was having in the hot springs. Billie's voice startled her back to reality.

Billie's brow drew together in irritation. "I asked if it hurt." she repeated.

"Does what hurt?" she asked the taller woman, confused.

"The snake bite, Cat... Hey, are you all right?" Billie asked, more than a little concerned about Cat's distracted state.

"Oh, that!" Cat said, smiling. "Sorry, I was a little distracted there.... No, it doesn't hurt... it's quite numb as a matter of fact. Hurt when it happened though." she explained.

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" Billie said, wiggling her eyebrows up and down, a sexy smile on her face as her eyes wandered to the place high up on Cat's thigh where the snake had attacked her.

Cat looked into Billie's face and smiled. "Cream's starting to work, huh?" she asked, leaning down and placing a light kiss on Billie's lips. Suddenly, Cat burst out laughing, throwing herself backward onto the pillows.

"What the hell is so funny?" Billie demanded.

Cat wrapped her hands around her midsection while she laughed and rolled around on the sleeping bag. "I'm.... I'm sorry, love... it's just that.... that your face.... it looks so funny all swollen up like that!" she managed to say between hysterical laughter.

Billie was NOT amused.

"Stop it, Cat!" Billie demanded, a hurt expression on her swollen face.

"I'm sorry, Billie, really I am." Cat said, trying not to look at her wife. Checking to see if Billie accepted her apology, she once again burst out laughing uncontrollably.

Billie grabbed her T-shirt, threw it on over her head and stormed out of the tent, ignoring Cat's apologies and pleas to return.

Not wanting to leave the campsite in her condition, Billie stomped back and forth in front of the campfire, kicking up dirt along the way. Jen was reclining in a nearby lounge chair, reading a book. "Wanna talk about it?" she asked her tall friend.

Billie stopped and looked at Jen. "Jen, where are the kids?" she asked.

"Fred took them to the playground.... Now stop avoiding the question. Sit." Jen ordered.

Billie looked like she was going to object, but then gave in and sat on the edge of the lounge chair, dropping her face into her hands.

"Talk." Jen said.

"She laughed at me, Jen." Billie pouted.

"Well, you DO kind of look funny right now, Big Guy." Jen said seriously.

Billie raised her eyebrows and looked at her friend. "You too?" she asked angrily. "I should have known you'd side with her."

Jen reached over and grabbed Billie's shoulders. "Now you just wait one minute there, girlfriend!" Jen opened her mouth to scold Billie further, when she stopped and looked directly into her face. "No... no, wait. There's a better way to do this. Wait right here... don't move." she said to Billie as she rose from the chair and climbed into her tent. Moments later she returned and sat back down next to Billie. Looking over to her friend, she said, "Close your eyes, Billie."

Billie looked at her as if she were insane.

"Come on... humor me." she pleaded.

Billie finally gave in and closed her eyes. A moment later, Jen said, "Okay, now open them."

Opening her eyes, she realized that Jen had fetched a mirror out of her tent and was now holding up in front of her face. Billie had no choice but to look directly at her image in it. Her first reaction was to open her eyes so wide that they bugged right out of her head. Her second reaction was to break out in hysterical laughter, bending over at the waist and clutching her stomach.

When she had finally regained control, she looked up at Jen and wiped the tears of laughter out of her eyes. "Oh gods!" she said, catching her breath. "I've never laughed so hard in my life."

Jen too was struggling to regain control. "Now do you blame her?" came the question from the curly haired woman.

Billie had the decency to look embarrassed. "No, I guess not." she admitted. "I guess I gotta do some damage control, huh?" she asked.

"Oh Yeah!" Jen said rising to her feet. "I think I'll go find Fred and the kids.... We should be back in..... say.... two hours? Yeah, two hours sounds good."

Billie stood and hugged her friend tightly. "Thanks for making me see what a horse's ass I've been, Jen." she said.

"Don't you dare mention the word 'horse' in front of me! Got that, Tall One?" Jen said jokingly as she headed up the trail toward the playground.

"Got it!" Billie replied as she headed back to her tent.

**********

SUNSHINE.... ON MY SHOULDER.... MAKES ME HAPPY???....

The next morning found things pretty much back to normal, except that Billie looked like she had chicken pocks, considering the red welts she had all over her face, neck and arms from the mosquito bites. The swelling had gone down, though, and the itch cream had the itching under control, so the welts were tolerable. Mobility had returned to Cat's leg, however the skin around the bite mark was still numb. This pattern of healing was pretty much as the doctor had explained it to them, so they weren't concerned, knowing she would have full feeling back in a day or two.

Sitting around the breakfast table, the two families chatted amicably about plans for the day. Considering the excitement they had experienced the previous day, they were all willing to spend the day in relaxed non-involved activities. For Cat and Jen, that meant shopping.

"Shopping? You've got to be kidding, Cat... that's not relaxing!" Billie exclaimed, afraid that Cat would force her to go along for the ride. She hated shopping.

"Count me out." Fred said. "Shopping is definitely NOT for me. I opt for a day of fishing. Whaddaya say, boys?" he asked Stevie and Seth, who eagerly complied.

Billie shot him a sympathetic look that begged him to invite her along. Fred recognized desperation when he saw it. Taking pity on his friend, he said, "Hey Billie, how about joining me and the boys?"

Billie broke out into a huge smile. "Sure!" she said, trying to sound nonchalant as she cast a sideways glance at Cat.

Cat walked up to her wife and stood directly in front of her. Looking up and meeting Billie's eyes, she smiled and said, "You are SO transparent, my love. Go... have a good time, and catch us some dinner? 'kay?"

Billie leaned over and kissed Cat tenderly. Touching her forehead to Cat's she said, "Thanks.", then kissed her again before turning away and grabbing her fishing pole, following Fred and the boys down the trail to the lake.

Cat watched her go, then turned and looked at Jen. Jen reached her hand out and accepted the 'high-five' from Cat.

"Way to go, Old Wise One." Jen said. "Now we can 'shop till we drop' without listening to the whining!"

"Ready girls?" Cat said to Karissa, Tara and Skylar. The three girls cheered and raced each other to the car.

While the ladies enjoyed a day at the mall, Billie, Fred and the boys basked in the sunlight, out in a boat in the middle of the lake, happily catching dinner. Sometime near midmorning, Fred removed his shirt, oblivious to the scorching rays of the sun. By mid-afternoon, when the gang rowed in for a lunch break, he was a total lobster.

As they pulled the boat up to the shore, Billie looked over at Fred and exclaimed, "Holy Shit, Fred....Look at your back!"

Fred glanced over his shoulder and looked at his shoulder. "Ah, that's nothing... don't worry about it!" he said.

Billie looked at him doubtfully and grabbed the stringer of fish and tackle box while the boys took the poles and other tackle and headed back to the campsite. Fred walked ahead of Billie. "I don't know, Fred. It looks really bad from here," she said, pushing her baseball cap further back on her head.

Fred flexed his shoulders and felt the sting on his sun-baked skin. "Ow! Maybe you're right, Billie. It does kinda sting a little," he exclaimed.

"I suspect it will sting a lot, very soon!" Billie commented. "I'll rub some aloe salve into it when we get back to camp." she offered.

"Okay... sure... Thanks!" he said.

Before the afternoon was over, Billie was on the car phone, calling Cat on the cell phone she carried in her purse.

"Billie?" Cat asked when she answered the phone.

"How did you know it was me?" Billie asked.

"Who else would be calling me here, love?" Cat explained.

"Oh, yeah... well, I guess that makes sense." Billie replied.

"Billie, is everything okay? The kids..." Cat began.

"The kids are fine, Cat. Fred, however, is another story. Look.... I need you to stop to an herbal medicine store and pick up some more aloe salve.... lots of it." Billie said.

"Aloe salve?" Cat asked. Then suddenly remembering that they used the salve for burns, she said, "Gods, Billie.... he didn't!"

Jen, who was standing at Cat's elbow when the call came in suddenly realized that they were talking about Fred. Her eyebrows creased into a question mark, which she pointed directly at Cat.

"He did, Cat. Red as a lobster." Billie replied.

"And what about you and the kids?" Cat asked.

"No problem there... We all had our shirts and hats on. No, Fred's the only cooked goose here," Billie supplied.

"Okay... Aloe salve... lots of it. All right Billie. I think there's an herbs store right here in the mall. We'll be on our way as soon as I pick up the salve. We should be there within a half hour, okay?" she asked.

"Okay, love... see you in a bit. Love you..." Billie said.

"Love you too, Billie. Bye," Cat replied, closing up the cell phone and slipping it back into her purse.

Jen looked at Cat. "Well?" she asked impatiently.

"Jen, did you bring sun screen?" Cat asked her friend.

Jen looked at her blankly for a moment, then realization hit. "Oh god, tell me he didn't.... damn! Cat, sometimes I swear that man has shit for brains!" she exclaimed.

"Aloe salve... herbs store" Cat directed as the two women gathered up the girls. Ten minutes later, they were headed toward the car and on their way back to a very uncomfortable Fred.

A short time later...

"Kill me, Jen... please!" voiced a very uncomfortable Fred as Jen rubbed the soothing salve across this shoulders. Fred was sitting at the picnic table, bent over with his head laying against his crossed arms.

"All right, I'm done," Jen announced. "Here, put this back on," she said, handing him his shirt.

"I really don't want to put anything on it, Jen," Fred said refusing the shirt and earning an impatient glare from Jen..

Billie was standing near the campfire, stoking it to life for the burgers they planned to grill for lunch. The area surrounding the fire ring was bathed in bright sunlight. She grinned as she listened to Fred whine about his sun burn. "Fred, c'mere a minute, will you?" she said.

Fred rose to his feet slowly, each move stretching the burnt skin on his back, making the nerve endings scream out in protest.

Once he reached Billie, she handed him the poker. "Here, stoke this up for me while I line the grill with tin foil. Okay?" she asked.

Fred took the poker and started moving the coals around as Billie walked toward Jen. The heat from the growing fire, combined with the sun beating down on his back were unbearable.

Billie approached Jen and reached out for Fred's shirt. Winking at Jen, she turned around and walked back to Fred. Fred looked up as Billie neared, the pain very clearly apparent on his face.

"Ready to put this on now?" she asked, handing him the shirt.

He stood up straight and growled at her, grabbing for the shirt at the same time. "Women!" he muttered under his breath... "Always gotta prove a point!"

Jen quickly approached Fred and helped him pull the T-shirt down over his shoulders with as little pain as possible while Billie walked over to Cat, who was making hamburger patties.

"Billie, you are so mean!" Cat accused, a half smile threatening to break across her face.

Billie focused her attention on Cat's hands, which were squeezing and shaping the ground beef into a circle. Billie was mesmerized by the sight.

"Billie?", Cat said, drawing the tall woman's attention away from the meat in her hands.

"Whaaaat?... Oh, I'm sorry Cat, I wasn't paying attention... what did you say?" Billie asked.

Cat knew where this was leading. "Just what were you distracted by, my tall lover?" she said seductively, leaning in so that she was whispering into Billie's neck, leaving a light kiss there before pulling away to look into Billie's eyes.

Billie's body jolted from the contact. She gulped audibly and looked back into pools of emerald green.

Cat never broke eye contact as she lowered the burger to the tin covered grill, then reached over to wipe her hands on the towel laying on the table.

Billie ran her tongue across suddenly parched lips as she held Cat's eyes.

Reaching across the table for a bowl of strawberries, Cat chose an especially succulent one and lifted it to her lips, which parted, ever so slightly to allow the ripe berry entrance into the cavern beyond. Cat's fingers followed the berry into her mouth as her tongue caressed the digits, licking the sweet juice from the tips, snaking out moments later to lap up the juice that had run down her chin.

Billie's eyes opened so wide Cat thought they would pop right out of her head. "Gods, Cat!" she said in a whisper.

Reaching for another berry, Cat lifted it into Billie's mouth. Billie's lips parted and then closed around Cat's fingers as the smaller woman pushed the berry past her teeth. Cat threw her head back and closed her eyes as an intense feeling a desire jolted her to her very core as Billie sucked her fingers clean. Now it was Cat's turn to lose control of her legs. "Billie!" she whispered.

"Okay, you two... any more of that and those burgers next to you will cook themselves just from your body heat!" Jen exclaimed as she approached the women.

Cat and Billie had the good graces to look embarrassed as their eyes roamed all over the camp site, skillfully avoiding Jen's smirking face.

"Besides, you're making me jealous," Jen added. "With Fred in that condition..." she motioned to Fred sitting in the shade away from the fire, "it's going to be a lonely night!" she complained.

Billie grinned and looked down at her friend. "Ahhh, Jen... With Fred in that condition, plan on several lonely nights!"

"Arrgghh! I hate you!" Jen said, slapping Billie across the arm before stomping away.

Billie looked down at Cat and smiled. "Now what was it you were saying about me being mean?" she asked as she drew Cat's fingers towards her mouth once more.

**********

THE SEVEN REAR ITCH....

As predicted, Fred put in a very uncomfortable few days. The tender skin on his back protested at a mere wisp of wind blowing across it. It wasn't long before the damaged area tightened and pulled with each slight movement. The aloe salve managed to keep most of the pain away, but his discomfort level was still extremely high. Fred had to stay out of the direct rays of the sun in order to bear it, and as a result, spent most of his time inside their tent, or in the shade of the trees. It was for this reason, that Fred declined the hiking trip that Cat and Jen had planned for the group. Billie, not really wanting to hike, used Fred as a convenient excuse to stay behind.

"Cat, I hate to leave him here alone. I think I'll stay and keep him company, if you don't mind." Billie said.

"Are you sure, Love? You're going to miss a good walk." Cat answered.

"Yeah, I'm sure... You and Jen go ahead and have a good walk with the kids." Billie replied, leaning down and kissing the smaller woman.

Soon, Cat and Jen were on their way up the path, using the trail map they had picked up at the office, while Billie and Fred spent the afternoon playing cards.

On the trail...

"Mama, I gotta pee!" Skylar whined.

"Sky, honey, can you hold it until we get back to camp?" Cat suggested to the small child.

"No... Mama, I gotta pee real bad!" she complained again, crossing her legs.

"Okay...okay. Come on," Cat said, taking the child's hand and leading her into the bushes. Looking back over her shoulder, she said to the rest of the group, "The rest of you might want to take advantage of the pit stop as well... it's a long hike back to the campsite."

Moments later, after a trip to the bushes for everyone, the little entourage was on its way back to camp.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. The girls occupied themselves in their tent playing with their dolls while Stevie and Seth played toss and catch, and later, with the race cars they had brought with them. The adults gathered around the picnic table playing board games and enjoying each other's company. Later that evening after a satisfying supper, they all sat around the campfire and roasted marshmallows. Before long, the children were starting to nod off and were promptly sent to bed.

Considering Fred's condition, the Swenson tent was pretty quiet that night. The same, however, was not true for the Charland tent. After tucking the children in, Billie led Cat back to their tent and gently laid her down on the sleeping bags. Covering the smaller woman's body with her own, she placed her elbows on either side of Cat's head and supported her weight on them.

Looking down into Cat's face, she said, "Cat, I have never known anyone as beautiful as you. Your beauty extends the boundaries of physical appearance, my love. I love you with all my heart. I feel honored that you have chosen to love me." Leaning down, Billie placed a passionate kiss on Cat's mouth.

Cat's breath caught in her throat at the intensity of the kiss. "Gods Billie. You have no idea what you do to me," Cat exclaimed breathlessly as Billie nibbled on her neck.

Billie pulled back and looked at Cat. "If it's the same as what you do to me, love, then yes, I do know," she said, leaning back down for another kiss, then pulling back once more to look into Cat's face.

Cat reached up with one hand and pushed a lock of hair behind Billie's ear. "You hair is getting long," she said. "Soon, it will be it's original length."

"Yeah, it's getting there!" Billie observed. "Better than being bald - that's for sure." she added, chuckling.

Cat reached up with both hands and caught Billie's face between her palms. "Billie... How much hair you have doesn't matter to me. You are, and will always be, the most beautiful creature on this earth... bald, gray, young or old... nothing can mar your beauty in my eyes," she vowed.

Billie smiled mischievously. "Are you trying to tell me that I'm getting old and gray, Mrs. Charland?" she asked the red haired woman.

Cat tried to look insulted. "Me?" she asked. "No... never, not me... so sir-ee, not me." she said vehemently.

"Because if you think for one moment that I can't keep up with you, you are sadly mistaken." Billie said with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Really?" Cat answered sarcastically. "Care to prove it?

Billie smiled wickedly. "I was hoping you'd ask that!" she exclaimed as she dove into Cat's mouth with a passion that left them both breathless.

Hours later, there was no doubt left in Cat's mind as to Billie's stamina as she melted into the arms of the woman she loved and fell fast asleep.

The next morning, Cat was awaked by this nagging itch on her back side. Reaching back to relieve it, she encountered Billie, who was spooned up close to her. Reaching down between their naked bodies, Cat successfully found and relieved the itch, only to be nagged by another one on the other cheek.

"Damn!" Cat said as she rolled over onto her stomach and tried unsuccessfully to look over her shoulder at her backside.

Billie was awakened by Cat's fidgeting. Raising herself up onto one elbow, she looked at Cat and asked, "Cat, Honey, what's wrong?"

"My butt itches!" Cat exclaimed.

"Run that by me again!" Billie said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"My butt itches and I can't see why!" Cat exclaimed again, craning her neck to see.

Billie leaned in to check the matter out.

"Holy Shit, Cat!" Billie said loudly.

"What?... Billie, what is it!?" Cat said worriedly.

"Cat... You have poison ivy." Billie replied.

Cat jumped up onto her knees and strained once more to see her backside. "Billie.. no... it can't be. How could I get pois...... Oh gods!... I know how! Billie, get up, quickly... we need to check on Jen and the kids!" Cat said, nearly hysterical.

Billie threw the blanket off herself and started to rise.

Cat took one look at Billie and shrieked! "Billie! By the gods! You're covered too!"

Billie looked down on herself and saw dozens of red spots all over her abdomen. "Aaarrrgghhh!" she screamed.

Cat quickly dove into the first aid kit they had packed and retrieved the bottle of calamine lotion and a few cotton balls. Within minutes, Billie's abdomen was a pretty shade of fleshy pink, as was Cat's butt. Throwing on their clothes, they climbed out of their tent, armed with the lotion and went in search of more victims of yesterday's visit to the bushes.

No sooner had they cleared their tent, when they heard Jen's voice loud and clear coming in their direction. "Thank you very much, Cat!" she ranted. "The rest of you might want to take advantage of the pit stop... she says....It's a long hike back to the campsite.... she says.... Damn you Cat! You can play connect the dots on my butt!"

Cat approached Jen with her hands up, trying to calm the distraught woman down. "Okay, Jen... I know... I have it too, and so does Billie," Cat said, trying to soothe her friend's anger.

"Billie? How did Billie get it? She wasn't even with us yester...... Oh, I get it.. you two rolled around like a couple of crazed weasels last night and she caught it from you! Well, serves you right!" Jen raged into their faces.

"Jen." Billie said in her best intimidating voice. "Cat had no way of knowing there was poison ivy in the bushes... so back off. Okay?"

Jen looked steadily at Billie and realized the logic of her words. Throwing her hands up in the air, she said, "Okay... okay... you're right... I'm sorry Cat. Question is, what do we do now?"

Cat held up the calamine lotion to her friend. "How do you like the color pink, Jen?" she asked.

Before long, each member of the camping party, save Fred, had been doused in pink.

Throughout the day, as other campers passed their campsite, curious glances were cast at the menagerie of gropers, each grabbing at various body parts, trying to get relief from the itching.

After one particularly interested viewer passed by, Jen turned to Billie and said, "They probably think we have body lice or something..."

Billie just chuckled and reached for the bottle of calamine.

**********

TRUE GRIT....

Within a day or two, the Charland/Swenson clan had recovered enough to resume normal camping activities. Early on the second day after the poison ivy incident, they packed the cooler with sandwiches, soda and chips and headed to the beach.

The kids headed straight for the water as the adults set up the blankets, beach chairs, umbrellas and picnic table. Soon the area was arranged and everyone was settled in peacefully. Fred, still sensitive from his sunburn, sat in the shade of the umbrella while the women sat rubbing oil on each other's backs before laying out on the blanket, all in a row, on their stomachs with Cat book-ended by Billie and Jen..

They made an impressive sight, one tall and two of medium build, one dark, one red and one light, all slim and scantily clad in skimpy bikini's. Fred sat there among them, proud as a peacock at all the stares his fellow campers received, laughing as more than one gawker tripped over his feet onto his face in the sand because he was too busy watching the ladies and not looking where he was going. Halfway through the morning, the ladies rolled over to sun their fronts after liberally spreading more oil over their lean bodies. While they lay there, Billie reached out and covered Cat's hand with her own, entwining their fingers together.

After a time the kids moved from the water to the beach and began building a rather large sand castle. The boys worked on the main structure, while the girls built castle walls and a moat surrounding the entire display. Skylar busied herself by filling the moat with water she repeatedly transported to the structure in a small red bucket.

Soon, Billie became bored with just lying there. Opening her eyes, she peered over at Cat and Jen and saw that their eyes were closed, apparently asleep. A spark of mischief ignited in her belly as she reached over and grabbed a handful of sand. Grinning ear to ear, she rolled over onto her side, and held her prize over Cat's chest. Very slowly, she allowed the grains of sand to escape her fist as she moved her hand slowly downward, across Cat's breasts and abdomen. Cat absently brushed them away in her sleep. Grabbing another handful of sand, Billie continued her trek down one of Cat's legs and then up the other.

All the while Billie was engaging in her mischief, Fred was watching, chucking under his breath. "She's going to kill you when she wakes up, my friend." he warned her.

"If she can catch me, that is!" Billie remarked, smiling evilly up at Fred.

When Billie was done, she leaned back and observed her handiwork. Cat was covered with a fine layer of sand. "Not bad if I'd say so myself!" Billie commented. Then, looking over at the sleeping Jen, she again grinned and looked at Fred.

Fred broke out in a huge smile when he read the intention in Billie's eyes. "Do it!" he said.

Billie giggled with glee as she grabbed another handful of sand and proceeded to paint Jen with a fine layer of dirt, finishing just as Cat started to stir.

Cat felt an itchy feeling on her chest, just at the base of her neck. Reaching up sleepily, she began to scratch. Suddenly, she realized that something was wrong. Sitting up quickly, she felt a considerable amount of sand slide inside her bathing suit as her hand came away from her chest, covered in suntan oil and sand. Billie moved quickly to her feet, ready to make her getaway.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed, coming instantly awake. She looked up at Billie, who was standing beside the blanket, trying her best to hold back her laughter. "Billllllllie!" she growled.

Cat looked over to Jen and saw that she too, was covered in sand. "Jen... Jen!" Cat said, while shaking her friend awake. "Jen, wake up."

Jen brushed Cat's hand away. "Leave me alone... I'm on vacation for crying out loud!" she complained.

"You're also covered with sand!" Cat exclaimed.

"Whaaaaat?" Jen yelled, sitting up abruptly. She too felt her bathing suit fill with sand. "Son of a bb... Who did this?" she demanded.

Hearing Fred chuckle, Cat and Jen quickly looked up at him, while he tried very hard to keep a straight face. Realizing that Fred and Billie were probably in on the joke together, the two ladies jumped to their feet, scattering sand in all directions, except that, of course, that was stuck to the suntan lotion covering their bodies.

Fred and Billie looked at each other and said in one voice, "Oh, Oh!" then took off running toward the water with Cat and Jen right on their heels. Reaching the water's edge, Billie's long legs allowed her to make huge leaps through the water until it reached mid-thigh, dramatically slowing her down and allowing Cat to catch up with her.

Working together, the two smaller women managed to grab Billie and Fred, pulling them under the water before they shook free of their captors and returned the favor. Soon, they were frolicking in the water like children, splashing and dunking each other, screeching and laughing hysterically.

In one particularly enthusiastic tackle, Cat pulled Billie down into the water, by the straps to her bikini top. When Billie came up for air, her top didn't come up with her, but instead, floated happily away from the splashing adults. Billie stood there in all her glorious nakedness, water running in sheets from her hair, onto her breasts and back into the water. At that very moment, Fred surfaced from a dunking of his own, coming up directly in front of Billie's very erect nipples. All he could do was stare, open mouthed at the bulbous mounds before him.

Cat immediately pulled Billie down into the water and then jumped in front of her, with her back to the taller woman, to hide her wife's nakedness from their friend. Jen reacted by clamping her hand over Fred's eyes and pulling him back under the water. Fred resurfaced, spitting and sputtering.

"Damn it, Jen!" he said. "You ruined my view!"

"Fred Swenson... you pervert!" Jen shot back, splashing a huge amount of water into her husband's face.

"Why you little....." Fred growled as he took off after Jen who was running as fast as she could through the water. He caught her in less than a minute, threw her over his shoulder, and headed toward the shore. As he approached the beach, he stumbled over the bucket Skylar had been using to fill the moat, lost his footing and landed on top of Jen, right in the middle of the sand castle the children had just finished building.

There was dead silence as the kids stood there, slack jawed, eyes bulging, at the mess that was once the fruits of their labors. Stevie and Seth looked at each other incredulously then yelled together, "GET'EM!" before charging the two adults who were laying in the middle of the sand pile. Soon, the girls joined in and between the five of them, they managed to bury Fred and Jen with sand and mud.

In the meantime, Cat manage to retrieve Billie's bikini top and had tied up the strings enough to make it back to the beach to retrieve Billie's T-shirt. As they passed their neighbors laying there in the mud, Jen looked up at the pair and cursed. "Damn! I have sand in places that have never seen the light of day! I'll get you for this, Billie!"

Billie threw her hands up and replied. "What did I do?"

"You and those killer breasts of yours! You should register them as lethal weapons!" Jen exclaimed, flashing them a brilliant smile.

"Yeah, you can hold me hostage with them anytime, Billie." Fred piped in, earning himself an elbow in the ribs from Jen.

"Well, you can just forget it, Fred." Cat said. "They're my lethal weapons, and I don't share!"

"Selfish bitch..." Fred said under his breath.

Billie narrowed her eyes and took a step toward Fred. "What was that?" she asked.

"Shellfish... I said, shellfish... See, a clam - right over there... see?" Fred said nervously, pointing to a spot down the beach.

"I thought that's what you said." she replied. Turning to Cat, she smiled and winked at the smaller woman before taking her hand and walking back to the picnic table to prepare lunch, leaving Fred and Jen heading for the water again to rinse off the offending sand.

**********

WAR AND PEACE....

The day at the beach turned out to be wonderfully relaxing, despite the strip-tease show and subsequent mud wresting that resulted from Billie losing her bikini top in the water. Considering that the adult's antics totally destroyed the sand castle the children had built, they committed themselves to assisting in the reconstruction, and thus, spent the rest of the day crawling around the sand like a bunch of ants, shaping and molding the sand into an elaborate labyrinth of buildings, roads and walls.

The adults worked diligently, long after the children had lost interest and retreated to the playground to pursue other activities. They made quite an interesting sight... three women (all scantily clad in bikini's) and one man, on their hands and knees, covered in mud from their knees to their toes, and from fingertips to elbows, scurrying around their creation like sand crabs. Finally, they were done and stood back to look at their work of art.

Jen had placed her hands on her hips and cocked her head sideways to look at the small kingdom they had created in the sand. "Kinda went overboard, didn't we?" she commented.

"Well, maybe the gallows outside the jailhouse were a bit much." Fred remarked.

Billie was standing behind Cat, her sand-covered hands resting on Cat's shoulders. She too cocked her head to one side. "Well, maybe, Fred, but where else would you put the gallows? I mean, if you're going to have a jailhouse, you need gallows, right?" she asked. "We are talking about a medieval castle here, after all."

"I don't understand why we needed a jailhouse in the first place!" Jen said.

"Where else would Xena put the bad guys, Jen?" Cat asked.

Jen walked over to Cat and took her chin in her hand. "Look, Sweetheart. I know you feel connected to this warrior and bard somehow, but for crying out loud, you didn't have to make stick men of them for the sand castle!" she said in a raised voice as she motioned to the small stick figures standing by the gallows in the courtyard of their sand castle.

"What's wrong with them, Jen... they're cute!" Cat said defensively.

"Cute? Cat, they're sticks! And that horse... what's its name? Argon?..." Jen stared.

"Argo." Billie corrected over Cat's shoulder, a slight grin on her face.

"Argon, Argo... what-ever!" Jen exclaimed. "Anyway... they're sticks with seaweed hair! The horse is a rotting piece of driftwood with toothpicks for legs!" she said again, intentionally baiting Cat.

Cat was becoming irritated with her friend's teasing. Billie could see where this was leading, but decided to let Cat handle it... hoping that she'd teach Jen to back off. Fred started to reach for Jen's shoulder to stop her, but Billie caught his eye and gave his a slight look that said, "No... let them duke it out." Placing a quick kiss on Cat's head, Billie stepped back and motioned for Fred to join her in a game of Frisbee while the other two ladies settled their dispute.

Fred and Billie tossed the disk back and forth along the water's edge as they listened to words like "stifle WHAT creative talents?", and "warrior haze", not to mention "they're only stickmen, Cat!", while they watched the two women face each other, nose to nose, arms gesticulating wildly. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Fred and Billie stopped throwing the disk back and forth and stood side by side watching their wives argue. Billie poked Fred in the ribs with her elbow to draw his attention away from the women to where she was pointing out over the water.

"Ah, girls?" Fred said.

Jen and Cat continued to argue. Billie covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh.

"Ah, girls?" Fred said again, a little louder this time. "Girls?"

"WHAT!!!" Cat and Jen turned together, hands on their hips, and yelled at Fred.

Fred pointed out across the water just in time to call their attention to large wave that hit the shoreline, totally destroying the sand castle and soaking the two women clear to their knees.

"Arrrggghhh!" Cat yelled, throwing her hands up into the air and stomping off to the picnic table where she started packing up their belongings for the trip back to the campsite. Billie followed her to lend her a hand.

Jen just stared in disbelief at the pile of sand that was once their castle. Pointing to the pile, she said, "Creative talents, my butt! It's nothing but a pile of wet sand!"

Cat turned from her packing and shot daggers at Jen with her eyes. Billie stopped her with an arm around her waist as she turned to take off after Jen who was standing at the shoreline with Fred. Jen was just as ready and willing to go at it again, as Cat was, had it not been for Fred's restraining arm on her waist.

"That's enough, Jen." Fred said. "It was just a sand castle, for crying out loud!"

Billie cringed at Fred's words and held onto Cat tighter, knowing that the red head would object to their friend's casual comment.

"JUST a sand castle, Fred? JUST a sand castle?... I think not!" Cat screamed, fighting to break free from Billie's hold.

"Cat! Cat, honey... calm down. Look, we're all tired. It's been a long day. Let's just pack up and head back to camp, okay?" Billie suggested as she successfully turned Cat back to their chores.

Fred dragged Jen by the hand toward the picnic table, where they all finished packing up the gear, Jen and Cat throwing hateful looks at each other the whole time.

Back at the campsite...

Cat vigorously shook the sand out of the blanket that had been used by the adults at the beach and threw it over the clothes line to air out, while Jen stomped around, lighting the grill and making general preparations for their evening meal. A cold silence had descended over the campsite between the two ladies. The only sounds that could be heard were from the children, who played amicably nearby, and from a low murmur between Fred and Billie.

"Billie, what are we going to do about them?" Fred asked, nodding his head in the direction of their stubborn wives.

"I don't know, Fred." Billie replied as she added wood to the campfire. "You know, if Jen had only backed off about Cat's creative side, this could have been avoided."

Fred looked at Billie indignantly. "Billie... this is about a sand castle.... a sand castle - not some award winning piece of artwork!" he exclaimed.

Billie stood to her full height and stared at Fred, lifting her eyebrows into her hairline. "This is NOT just about a sand castle, Fred. This is about respecting someone's talents." she tried to explain patiently, the tone of her voice belying the under currents of anger raging through her over Fred's ignorance..

"Talents? Billie, it doesn't take a lot of talent to make a horse out of a rotting piece of driftwood, some seaweed and tooth picks?" Fred observed sarcastically.

Billie grabbed the front of Fred's T-Shirt and started to pull him in when they were distracted by the sounds of the children yelling.

"You broke it!" Seth yelled.

"I did not!" answered Stevie in a defensive tone of voice.

"You did too! See - you broke the wheels off it!" Seth exclaimed, showing his toy car to Stevie.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!," Stevie finally said, pushing Seth backwards.

Tara, who was playing off to the side with Karissa and Skylar, took offense to Stevie pushing her brother, and launched forward onto Stevie's back, dragging him to the ground and sitting on top of him.

Cat was the first to arrive on the scene, grabbing her daughter and dragging her off Stevie before she could throw the punch she had prepared her fist for.

"All right... that's enough!" Cat exclaimed. "Want to tell me what's going on here?" she demanded as the remaining three adults approached the group. Jen immediately helped Stevie to his feet and brushed the dirt off his backside. Fred stood off to the side, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Stevie broke the wheels off my car, Ma!" Seth explained angrily.

"I did not!" Steve denied. "They were already like that!" he exclaimed.

"Enough!" Cat yelled again, trying to restrain Tara from lunging at Stevie once more.

Billie reached out and scooped Tara up into her arms. "Okay there Rugrat. Calm down and tell me what happened." she said to her daughter.

"Mom... I saw Stevie push Seth. Let me go... I'm gonna pound him!" Tara demanded, squirming to get out of her mother's arms.

Billie took Tara's chin in her hand and looked her straight in the eyes. "You'll do nothing of the sort, young lady - do you hear me?" she scolded.

"But Mom!..." Tara protested.

"I said NO! Do you understand?" came the stern reply from the dark haired woman.

Tara just crossed her arms in front of her and stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. Billie put her back down on the ground and held a retraining hand on the girl's shoulder before addressing the group.

"All right, then." Billie said. "Seth, what happened here?"

"The wheels are broken off my car, Mom. Stevie was playing with it!" Seth accused.

"Did you see him break the car, Seth?" she asked.

Seth set his jaw firmly in place before shaking his head no.

"Well, then, you don't really know that he did it, right?" Billie asked.

Seth creased his forehead into a deep scowl. Kicking the dirt with the toe of his shoe, he said begrudgingly, "I guess not."

"Okay, then... I think it would do us all some good if we split up for a while and cooled off. Okay?" Billie suggested.

"That's a very good idea." Jen said. "Stevie, Karissa, I want the two of you to come over here for a while.

"And you three..." Cat said, beckoned to her own children, "...can play together over here," she suggested, motioning to the opposite side of the campsite.

Cat watched as Fred led Stevie and Karissa to the picnic table and dug out the coloring books and crayons. Unknowing that Jen was still within hearing range, Cat muttered the words, "spoiled brat!", under her breath, indicating exactly what she thought of Stevie's behavior. Jen was on her in an instant, tackling her and pinning her to the ground by the shoulders.

"What was that?" she demanded, lowering her nose to within a inch of Cat's face.

Billie immediately grabbed Jen around the waist and pulled her off Cat, depositing her on her butt in the bushes next to their own tent before returning to Cat to help her up off the ground. While brushing the dirt off Cat's backside, Billie glanced over at Fred and sent the silent message to him to keep his family on his side of the campsite for the time being. Fred nodded slightly as he helped a very angry Jen out of the bushes.

Not a half hour after the skirmish, the children were playing again, totally oblivious to what had caused their earlier spat. Promising to look after their sisters, Stevie and Seth escorted the girls to the playground just a short distance from the campsite while their parents contemplated how they were going to fix dinner from their community food stores without talking to each other.

Billie sat and watched her wife and friend pace back and forth across the imaginary line dividing the campsite in half. Each one sending furtive looks at the other as though sizing up an enemy for battle. Fred sat on the other side of the campsite, his head following them back and forth as though he was at a tennis match. Finally, when Billie couldn't stand it any more, she stood and threw her arms into the air.

"Okay, CHILDREN! At this rate, we're all going to starve. Time to kiss and make up!" she announced.

Jen and Cat stopped and looked at each other, and then at Billie as though she was crazy.

"Look." Billie tried again. "The kids had a spat... it happens... they're already playing together again... so GET OVER IT!" she pointed out.

Jen and Cat turned their backs on each other and crossed their arms, each holding their ground... neither wanting to be the first to give in.

Billie stood there with her hands on her hips, looking unbelievably at the two women. "I can't believe this." she said, exasperated. "You two are acting like babies!"

Cat was the first to open her mouth. "She started it, Billie!" she whined.

"Bullshit!" Jen exclaimed to Cat. "Your son started it!"

Billie's feathers ruffled at the accusation as she clenched her fists and jaw. She was very tempted to show Jen just what happened to people who attacked her family, but instead, she took a deep breath and refused to be baited. Cat had no such reservations, however, as she jumped Jen and wrestled her to the ground. The two women rolled back and forth across the dirt, each one gaining and then losing the advantage.

Billie held Fred back as he stepped forward to break them up. Beckoning him to follow her, she grabbed the bucket and dishpan and led him to the spigot. Seconds later, Cat and Jen found themselves doused with ice cold water, each one gasping for breath as they rolled off each other and wiped the water out of their faces. Looking up, their eyes shot back and forth between Billie and Fred, who stood there grinning, empty containers in hand.

"Had enough?" Billie asked.

Cat was furious. Climbing to her feet, she stood there and faced her attackers, hands on her hips, feet shoulder width apart. "You've got two minutes to explain why that was necessary, Billie!" she demanded angrily.

Billie walked over to Cat and leaned down into her face. "It was necessary because YOU and HER," she said, pointing to Jen without looking at her. "... were acting like spoiled children who needed cooling off... THAT'S why!" she explained, shooting wide-eyed daggers into Cat's face.

Cat looked over to where Billie had pointed and saw Jen still sitting on the ground. The two women looked at each other, taking in the wet hair and dirt smudges all over their faces and clothes. Cat grinned and covered her mouth with her hand to prevent a laugh from escaping. Jen looked shyly at the ground and then back at her friend and broke into a full faced grin.

Billie stepped aside to let Cat pass as she waked over to their friend and extended her hand down to help her up. Soon they were laughing and hugging, apologizing for their misunderstanding.

After Cat and Jen cleaned up, they prepared burgers for the grill, while Fred and Billie took care of stoking up the campfire and setting the picnic table for their evening meal. Once they were finished, Billie fished two beers out of the cooler and handed one to Fred. They sat down side by side in front of the campfire while their wives completed preparations for dinner. Billie lifted her beer in toast to Fred, very proud of herself for resolving the feud between the two ladies, when all of the sudden, they found themselves under sheets of cold water.

"What the hell!" she and Fred exclaimed together, jumping up out of their chairs and swinging around to face their attackers.

Cat and Jen stood there smiling, empty containers in hand. "Paybacks are a bitch, love." Cat said as she stood on tip toe and kissed Billie lightly on the lips, then walked away swinging the bucket beside her.

**********

BEAR WITH ME....

Later that evening, after the children were asleep, the adults sat around the campfire contemplating their day. The atmosphere was definitely more congenial that earlier that afternoon, however, a tinge of uneasiness remained. With their chairs in a semicircle around the campfire, book-ended by Billie and Fred, the tableau of friends sat quietly, staring into the flames. Finally, after the silence became unbearable, Cat reached her arm over toward Jen, palm up, and placed it on the armrest of Jen's lawn chair. Jen looked over at her and smiled, before placing her hand in Cat's, lacing their fingers together in a bond of friendship.

"I'm sorry, Jen." Cat said softly, capturing Jen's eyes in her gaze.

"Me too." Jen replied, squeezing her fingers a little tighter around Cat's.

Both women looked back at the fire while a more comfortable silence permeated the air, descending over the group like a blanket.

After a time, Jen broke the silence once more. "Why do you think it happened, Cat?' she asked.

"I assume you are talking about our little disagreement today?" Cat asked.

Jen shook her head, flashing Cat a crooked smile. "Yeah." she said.

Cat took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't know, Jen. It could be that we're not used to living in such close proximity, and we're getting on each other's nerves." she replied.

"You may be right, my friend." she said, lifting Cat's hand to her mouth to kiss the back side of it. "In any case, I'm afraid we haven't set a very good example for the kids."

"Don't worry about the kids, Jen," Billie interjected. "They know better than anyone that it's okay to let off steam then get on with the fun. Heck... They were playing again just minutes after they started fighting! We are the ones who couldn't let go of the anger! If anything, they set and example for us!" she finished.

"Maybe you're right, Billie... Maybe you're right." Jen said, trying hard to stifle a yawn.

Fred reached over and took Jen's chin in his grasp. "Looks like someone is tired. Ready to turn in, Love?" he asked.

Jen smiled and nodded her head. Rising to her feet, she leaned down and showered both of her friends with hugs and kisses before wishing them pleasant dreams, and following Fred into their tent.

Once Fred and Jen were gone, Billie reached for Cat's other hand and gave it the same treatment Jen had lavished on it's mate, kissing each knuckle in turn, all the while, maintaining her focus on the fire before them.

Cat's heart began to pound wildly in her chest. Where Cat felt sisterly affection for Jen's actions, what she was feeling under Billie's ministrations was something quite different. Tilting her head to one side, she closed her eyes as Billie's lips roamed over the sensitive skin on the back of her hand.

"Gods, Billie. Do you know what you're doing to me?" Cat whispered.

Billie responded by turning Cat's hand over and kissing her palm before slowly working her way toward Cat's wrist to the tender skin on the inside of her forearm.

Cat gasped with pleasure as Billie's tongue flit around the crook of her elbow and worked it's way upwards across her well-toned biceps before finding the hollow on her neck carved out by her collar bone. Cat threw her head back sharply to allow the dark haired woman greater access to her neck.

Reaching up with her free hand, Billie cupped the side of Cat's face and righted her head so that she was looking deep into the emerald pools before her. Billie's eyes roamed over Cat's face, watching the firelight dance patterns across her lover's brow, and set her hair ablaze with autumn colors.

"By the gods, Cat. I have never seen such beauty in my life. You stop my heart with one look." Billie exclaimed, breathing rapidly.

Cat fell into the azure eyes that had locked into a trance-like state. Narrowing her eyes into sensual slits, the small red head leaned forward and touched her forehead to that of her lover. Closing her eyes, she whispered the words meant only for Billie's ears. "Make love to me, Billie. I need to feel you. Make me yours."

Grabbing both sides of Cat's face in her palms, Billie turned the smaller woman's face towards hers and dove into her mouth with wild abandon, her tongue seeking and gaining access to the sweetness waiting inside. For long moments, the women tasted each other, probing organs memorizing every hidden curve and crevice within, faces tilted at opposite angles to maximize their pleasure.

Soon, Billie abandoned Cat's mouth and moved to place a string of kissing along her jaw line and down her neck. Cat clung to Billie's head by two handfuls of dark hair, holding her captive, begging for the nips and bites that were flooding her center with spasms of desire.

"Billie... please." Cat said, grabbing at Billie's tank top, trying to push it down over her shoulder. "Please..." Cat begged.

Billie dove back into Cat's mouth, capturing her lover's bottom lip between her teeth, before invading the moist cavern once more with her probing tongue. In one easy motion, she reached under Cat's legs and lifted her up, without breaking the contact between their mouths, and walked toward their tent. Dropping to one knee, she rested Cat there as she reached over and unzipped their tent.

Moments later, they were laying side by side on the sleeping bags, hands roaming over each other with an urgency born of intense sexual need.

"Gods, Cat. I want you so much!" Billie growled as she pushed Cat's T-shirt over her head, throwing it into the corner of the tent before reaching out to squeeze the generous mounds exposed before her.

Cat instinctively arched her back to raise her chest closer to Billie. Billie accepted the blatant invitation as she leaned down to take Cat's sweet offering into her mouth, nipping and suckling, capturing the swollen nubs between her teeth until tiny cries of pain escaped Cat's lips, and tremors of desire radiated through her lover's body.

"Billie, you are driving me mad. Please... I need you, now!" Cat demanded.

Just as Billie reached down to unbutton Cat's shorts, a loud shuffling noise erupted from just outside their tent. Billie's head snapped up, ears perked and listening for further sounds.

Cat's desire had dulled her senses as confusion set in at her lover's sudden retreat. "Billie, don't do this to me... please." Cat begged, trying to pull Billie's mouth back toward her breasts.

Billie reached up and placed her index finger across her own lips. "Shhhh." she told Cat, while she strained once more to hear more.

"Billie, what is it?" Cat asked, finally realizing that something else had caught Billie's attention.

"I don't know. Stay here... I'll be right back." she told the smaller woman as she grabbed the flashlight and clicked it on.

Holding the light out in front of her, she unzipped the tent and slowly made her way outside. She scanned the entire campsite with the bright yellow beam, allowing it to fall on each of the other tents, assuring herself that all was safe and secure.

Walking around the entire perimeter of the camp, she came across a set of animal prints near the refuge barrel. Billie smiled to herself as she said under her breath, "Critters! Harmless enough! I must of scared them off." Scanning the site one more time, Billie satisfied herself that they were safe, before returning to her tent, to an evening that promised to bring out her own animalistic nature. Had anyone else been awake, they would have been convinced that there were indeed wild critters around... at least two of them...critters that growled and groaned, and occasionally giggled before shrieking out in near ear-piercing tones, and then quieting down for the night.

In the morning...

The early hours of the morning found Cat and Billie entwined in a lover's embrace, to the point where it was not obvious where one naked body started and the other left off. It was in this position that they were greeted by the dawn. It was this position that Cat struggled to free herself from in order to answer the call of nature. Finally escaping the circle of Billie's arms, she quickly located and donned her T-Shirt and shorts before making her way out of the tent and up the trail to the bath house.

Cat was still half asleep as she made her way to the bathrooms and back, her eyes barely open, her intentions focused on returning to bed, to the arms of her wife and lover. It was with these thoughts that Cat approached their campsite. It was with these thoughts that she blindly walked into the campsite and nearly into the arms of an intruder. A tall, hairy, black, 300 pound intruder, with big teeth and sharp claws.

Cat stopped dead, a mere 20 feet separating herself from their visitor. Paralyzed with fear, she did the only thing she could think of... she screamed.

Within seconds, the entire campsite erupted, as well as those of a few neighboring sites. The bear reared up onto it's hind legs, teeth exposed, guttural growls emitting from its throat. Fred, Jen and Billie emerged rapidly from their tents, in various states of undress. Shrieks could be heard coming from the girl's tent, while exclamations of "Wow!" and "Cool!" came from the boys.

"Everybody freeze!" Billie shouted. "Don't move... don't make any threatening motions." she commanded.

Cat stood her ground, frozen to the spot, unable to move, terrified beyond description as the face-off began. The bear dropped to all fours and slowly moved toward Cat.

"Cat, please don't move!" Billie urged.

Cat stood ramrod straight, not moving a muscle as the bear circled and sniffed her. "Oh gods!... Oh gods!" Cat muttered under her breath as the bear investigated her presence.

As soon as the bear decided that Cat was really just a weird looking tree, he walked away from her and pursued his original goal... that of raiding the food stores. Within minutes, the food locker had been torn open and the rest of the supplies eaten or scattered about by the carnivore, all the while, the two families were rooted where they stood, motionless and scared.

After the bear had made short work of their food supplies, he turned and attempted to saunter back into the forest, but fell short of his goal, thanks to a tranquilizer dart from the park ranger's gun. Apparently, one of the neighboring sites had summoned the ranger, and he had arrived in time to stop the perpetrator from fleeing the scene of the crime. Fortunately for the campers, the only victim there, had been their food supplies, which they were completely out of now that the bear had helped himself.

As soon as it became obvious that the bear was down for the count, Cat ran to Billie and wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist. She was shaking and trembling in a state of shock. Billie in turn, wrapped her arms around Cat and held her close as she silently asked Fred and Jen to check on the kids.

Finally, Cat calmed down enough to take in her surroundings. The first thing she realized was that Billie was naked. Cat's scream had immediately roused Billie from sleep and caused her to spring into action, without a thought for clothing.

Pulling back out of Billie's embrace, Cat looked into her wife's face and said, "Do you always have to take things so literally, love?"

Billie was obviously confused and raised her eyebrows to Cat in a silent plea for explanation.

"BARE essentials? BARE necessities? BAREfoot In The Park... or in THIS case, in the campground?" Cat prompted as she ran her eyes up and down Billie's body in exaggerated motions.

All of the sudden, Billie realized that she was standing there, stark naked, surrounded by her friends, family, the park ranger and neighboring campers, not to mention one comatose black bear.

"Holy Shit!" she exclaimed as she dove for cover into their tent.

Cat threw her head back and laughed. "I can BAREly take all this excitement!" she exclaimed.

"Caaaatttt!" came the warning voice from inside their tent.

"BARE with us, Billie... We'll only tease you about this for say..... a week!" Cat continued to pick.

"Caitlain Maureen O'Grady Charland... If you don't cut that out, we'll see who can BAREly take the excitement!" Billie threatened.

"Oh, oh... she's using my full name!" Cat said to the audience of friends and family around her. "I'm shaking in my boots out here, Billie. I can't possibly BARE up under this burden of fear!" she teased again.

Suddenly, without warning, Billie shot out of the tent, fully dressed.

"Holy Zeus!" Cat exclaimed as she turned and ran as fast as she could down the trail, a grinning Billie tight on her heels.

**********

YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE IT COOK....

Because the bear had made short work of their food supply, it was necessary for Cat and Jen to visit a neighboring super market to replenish the basic necessities while Billie and Fred occupied the children. They had only a couple of days left before their vacation was over, so shopping didn't take nearly as long, nor fill as much space in the car as when they set out almost two weeks earlier. Soon, the ladies arrived back at the campsite and stowed away their booty for later consumption. This time, they were sure to store it well out of the reach of critters, in plastic bags hung high into the trees.

Looking around the abandoned area, Cat commented on its bareness. "I wonder where everyone is?" she asked out loud.

"Probably at the park or the beach." Jen replied as she watched Cat prepare to leave the site. "Hey, where are you going?" she asked her red haired friend, stopping Cat in mid-step.

Cat looked back over her shoulder. "To look for them. Where else?" she said, stating the obvious.

"Cat... are you nuts? Look! We actually have free time to ourselves for a change! Let's enjoy it, girlfriend!" Jen exclaimed.

Cat turned around to look at Jen. Placing her hands on her hips and planting a look of wonder on her face, she looked around and said, "You're right, Jen! Okay... so what do you want to do?"

Jen walked over to the ice chest and extracted two Wild Berry wine coolers. Handing one over to Cat, she screwed the cap off hers and sat down in one of the reclining lawn chairs. "I, for one," she said, "am planning on relaxing, reading, sleeping, and enjoying a refreshing cooler on a hot summer day... not necessarily in that order." she added, grinning broadly at her friend.

Cat took the hint and quickly retrieved a book from her tent and pulled up her own lawn chair beside Jen.

The next several hours were spent as Jen had predicted... drinking wine coolers, reading, drinking wine coolers, talking, drinking wine coolers, napping, drinking wine coolers, giggling.... all necessarily IN that order. By the time the rest of the family returned to the campsite, there where eight empty wine cooler bottles scattered on the ground under the lawn chairs, and two very relaxed, but giggly ladies sprawled on top.

The boys were the first ones to arrive at the site just before sunset, Stevie and Seth having raced each other down the path. Running into the center of the campsite, they stopped short when they saw their mothers' obviously inebriated state. They took one look at each other and ran back in the direction they had come. Within minutes, Billie and Fred arrived, having been alerted by their sons. Billie stood at the foot of the lawn chairs, hands on her hips, and looked down sternly at the two women.

"Just what do you think you're up to?" she asked the drunken women.

Cat looked up at Billie. "What're we up to?" she asked. Then, looking at Jen, she said, "Well, I'm about five foot four... what 'bout you Jen?" she asked, a shit eating grin on her face.

Jen looked up as though trying to see the top of her own head. "I don't know.... probably five six?" Then looking back at Billie, Jen added, "What about you, Oh incredibly sexy Tall One? What're you up to?"

Jen and Cat looked at each other and broke down into peals of laughter at Jen's remark.

Billie was trying hard to hide the grin threatening to break out on her own face. Shaking her head, she walked away from the ladies and back to Fred.

"Looks like you and I get to cook supper tonight!" she commented.

A chorus of groans rose from the children at the mention of Billie and Fred cooking.

"Mom, is that a good idea?" Seth asked. "The last time you cooked, I was able to use the hamburgers for hockey pucks!" he added.

"Your cooking tastes like doodoo!" Skylar whined, causing Billie's eyes to bulge out of her face at her daughter's choice of words.

"Thanks so much for the compliments, kids!" Billie answered. "Well Fred, how are you at cooking." she asked.

"No!" both Stevie and Karissa responded together in panicked voices.

"Guess that answers that question!" Billie replied, running her hand through her dark locks. "Okay, boys." she said to Seth and Stevie. "Rummage through the food supplies and find something I can't possibly screw up, okay?"

As the boys were sorting through the variety of goodies that Cat and Jen had picked up that day, Billie pulled Fred closer to the campfire where she could see the bandage on his face more clearly.

"You took a nasty hit on the nose, my friend." she said as she pulled the bandage away from Fred's nose.

Unknowing to Billie, Jen had risen from her lawn chair and retrieved another two bottles of wine coolers for her and Cat, while Billie was preoccupied with Fred by the fire.

After replacing the bandage, Billie turned to re-pack the medical supplies, and noticed that the ladies had full bottles of coolers in their hands.

"Now where the hell did you get those?" she said, exasperated with the women.

Cat and Jen looked up at the tall woman with grins on their faces, trying very hard to look innocent, swaying back and forth in their chairs, just barely able to keep their balance.

"From the cooler, while you were making out with my husband." Jen answered, raising her bottle in Fred's general direction.

"Making out?... Jen, I wasn't..... Oh hell, Fred, come here." she motioned to Fred, who found himself being pulled along and put on display in front of Jen and Cat.

Jen shrieked when she saw the bandage on Fred's nose.

"Oh my God! Fred! What happened?" she yelled, sitting up quickly and nearly falling off of the lawn chair.

"Cwoquet." he said in a nasal tone of voice.

"Crow kit?" Cat repeated. "What the hell is that?" she asked, belching loudly. "Ooops! Sorry." Cat added, covering her mouth, cheeks glowing red from drunken embarrassment.

"No... Cwoquet. We were pwaying cwoquet and the big guy here, hit me wight in the nose wit her ball!" Fred explained, pointing to Billie, who was standing guiltily nearby.

Now it was Cat's turn to sit up quickly, only she wasn't as graceful as Jen, and succeeded in falling flat on her face on the ground next to the lawn chair. Miraculously, she managed to keep the wine cooler from spilling when she fell.

Billie just shook her head side to side and helped her back into the chair. "I think you've had enough wine, Cat." she said, reaching for the cooler in Cat's hand.

"Nooooo!" Cat replied, pulling her drink in close and holding on to it tightly. "Mine!" she added.

"Okay..." Billie said skeptically. "It's your head!"

"Speaking of heads... what did you do to my husband?" Jen asked, taking another long drink from her wine cooler.

Billie seated Cat more securely in the lawn chair and turned to Jen. "Like he said, we were playing croquet. His ball had hit mine, so I had the right to send it flying. It's not my fault that he was standing in the direct line of fire." Billie explained. "We rushed him to the clinic for treatment... he has a broken nose, and will sport very attractive raccoon eyes for a couple of weeks." Billie added.

"And I'm having twouble bweathing." Fred added.

Further discussion on Fred's injury was halted by Stevie and Seth proudly dropping the contents of food they had carried in their arms, on the picnic table.

Billie turned to the boys. "Did you find something edible?" she asked.

The boys grinned as they stepped aside and revealed their idea of a good supper to their parents. There on the table, were cookies, chips, pretzels, cold cereal, cold hot dogs, and several cans of soda.

The commotion at the picnic table drew the girls away from playing with their dolls. As they approached, they saw the snack food lying there .

"Is this for supper?" Tara asked hopefully.

"Yep!" Seth said proudly.

The three girls cheered. jumping up and down, Skylar clapping her hands gleefully.

"Whoa... Wait a minute. I didn't say this was for supper!" Billie interrupted.

The cheers immediately died down, followed by several exclamations of "Ah Mom!"

Billie looked at Fred and then back at the snack food on the table. Realizing she didn't have to cook any of it, she looked back at Fred and grinned. "Ah, what the heck!... Eat up!" she said.

All five children jumped for joy as they dove into the goody pile and quickly devoured everything before them.

Later that night....

Fred looked at Cat and Jen, sitting very close, side by side in lawn chairs by the fire, leaning against each other, holding each other up, each sporting half empty bottles of wine coolers in their hands. They were giggling almost uncontrollably between sips of wine.

"They'll sweep well tonight." Fred said.

"Well, they'd better, because they'll be in lots of pain tomorrow when the hangovers set in." Billie observed as she threw another log in the fire ring before settling back down comfortably in her chair.

Fred stared at the fire for a few more minutes. "You know, " he said. "This hasn't been such a bad vacation."

Billie looked at him like he had grown another head. "Well, Fred, I guess that depends on what you call bad!" she commented dryly.

Fred, being as bright as his normal self could be, said, "What do you mean?"

Billie looked incredulously at Fred. Finally, sitting up on the edge of her chair, she said while counting the items off on her fingers, "Okay, where do I begin... Let's see... Oh yeah... flat tire on the highway, lecherous waiter at the restaurant, missing tent poles, water snake,..." rising to her feet, Billie started pacing, "... Trigger, Horse from Hell, poison ivy, sun burn, mosquito bites, bear attack, broken nose, drunken wives... am I forgetting anything?... Oh yeah... how could I forget, dueling neighbors... a regular bang out Hatfield and McCoy feud between Cat and Jen." Stopping in front of Fred, she ended her tirade by saying, "Christ, Fred, they only thing that hasn't happened is a rainstorm.!"

No sooner were the words out of Billie's mouth than a large clap of thunder and lightning tore across the sky. Billie just dropped her chin to her chest and shook it side to side. Within seconds, large drops of water were falling, prompting Fred and Billie into motion, checking on the sleeping children and pulling their wives into their respective tents behind them.

They sat in their tents for long moments, listening to the torrential rains cascading around them, thinking that everything they had left out around the campsite was now very wet, including spare blankets and food items on the picnic table.

Before long, Cat and Billie heard some shouting outside their tent. Billie sat up and unzipped the door, coming face to face with a very wet Fred and Jennifer. Fred was holding Jen up, as she was too intoxicated to stand on her own.

"Our tent collapsed! The ropes let loose from the trees. Can we come in?" he asked.

"Of course... of course." Billie said, making room for her very wet guests. Jen immediately crawled over and snuggled up against Cat, who was totally oblivious to the woman's wet state. They immediately fell into a tirade of giggles at their predicament. Billie shot a look in their direction and just shook her head side to side.

Fred on the other hand, tried very hard not to take up too much space in his neighbor's tent, knowing that they had probably intruded on an intimate moment. "When AREN'T they having intimate moments!" he thought to himself enviously. "Ah... I'm weally sorwy about this Billie." he said. "I hope we didn't interwupt anything."

Between his injury induced slur and his subtleness, it took a moment for Billie to understand what Fred was implying. She grinned as the realization struck her .

"Fred, relax." she said, placing her hand on Fred's shoulder. "You didn't interrupt anything... really." she assured him. "Now why don't you get out of those wet things and scoot over here under the covers.... you too, Jen." she instructed.

He let out an audible sigh of relief as he carried out Billie's wishes. Soon, all four adults were laying side by side in the small tent, with Billie and Cat wedged between Fred and Jen, with Fred on Billie's right, and Jen on Cat's left. Within moments, Fred was sleeping and Billie was drifting in that special world between sleep and wakefulness, listening to Cat and Jen giggle well into the night.

Billie was dreaming. She saw herself strolling through the woods, the birds giggling... I mean, chirping in the background, the sound of dry leaves crunching under foot with each step she took. She looked around and marveled at the beauty of the trees, breathing the smells of the forest deeply into her lungs.

Suddenly, it happened... In the distance, she could hear a sound.... a type of rumbling, low, and growly. "A motorcycle?" she thought to herself. Before long, the sound grew louder and closer. She stood here, in the midst of the trees, trying to place the origins of the sound. Suddenly, a tree fell beside her... then another, and another. As each tree fell, it brought her closer to pinpointing the source of the nose. Finally, as the last tree fell, she saw it... a chain saw.... and it was coming right for her... growing louder and louder as it approached, the teeth on the chain threatening to tear her apart limb from limb. It closed in on her as she stumbled and fell in an attempt to flee.

"Nooooo!" Billie screamed, sitting upright in the tent and looking around wildly. To her left, were Cat and Jen, still giggling in a state of alcohol induced silliness, and to her left.... well... to her left, was Fred, snoring like there was no tomorrow. "Chain saw!" was all that she could say, trying desperately to swallow the heart that was lodged in her throat.

Laying back down on the sleeping bag, she looked up at the ceiling of the dome tent and sighed. "Giggles to the left, Texas chainsaw massacre to the right. What did I ever do to deserve this?" she asked herself as she covered her face with her hands and let out a long breath.

This is going to be a LONG night!" she said out loud.

**********

AT THE END OF MY ROPE....

Early the next morning, four very uncomfortable adults emerged from Billie and Cat's tent. Not only had they been four people, crammed inside a two-man tent, but the rain had leaked in during the night, soaking their bedding, and all of them to the skin.

None of them slept well. Cat and Jen had giggled until nearly dawn, before they passed out from their over indulgent wine cooler consumption. Fred snored loud enough to wake the dead... that is, until the rain leaked in and nearly drowned him where he lay. And finally, Billie.... well, Billie didn't sleep at all, thanks to Fred's snoring and the girls' giggling. The soaking downpour just put the icing on the cake for the tall woman.

Now, here they were, standing in the midst of their campsite, looking around at the damage the rains had caused. Scanning the area, they saw Fred and Jen's tent, collapsed in on itself on the other side of the site. A pool of water sat idly in the middle of it. High winds had lifted the lawn chairs Jen and Cat were using, into the air and slammed them against the nearest tree, bending them all out of shape. About a dozen empty wine cooler bottles were scattered about the site. Blankets, towels and clothes that had been hanging on the makeshift clothesline were now on the ground beneath it, soaked in sand and mud. Two bags of chips and what used to be a bag of Oreo cookies had been left on the picnic table. These had been reduced to mush by the rains. Car windows had been left open on both vehicles, soaking the interiors. Finally, to top it all off, none of them had thought to dispose of the plastic trash bag in the dumpster before turning in... leaving it readily available to the night critters, who had happily torn it to shreds and spread the refuse around the campsite.

Billie lost it. "That's it!.... That's it!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up and stomping around the mess. "I've had just about all I can take!"

Cat grabbed her head. "Billie, Honey, please don't yell... I have a headache." she said.

Billie got right into Cat's face. "Gee... do six bottles of wine cooler ring a bell, Cat?" she snorted.

"Oh god!" Jen exclaimed as she held her head with one hand and stomach with the other. Making her way over to the bushes, she quickly deposited the previous nights' pleasures onto the ground. Cat was right behind her.

"Look, Billie." Fred said. "Ease up on them, okay? I'm sure they feel bad enough as it is."

Billie took one look at Fred's black and blue raccoon eyes and busted a gut laughing.

"Billie, I fail to see what's so funny here." Fred said, indicating the mess around the campsite.

By this time, Jen and Cat had finished clearing their stomachs, and had rejoined their spouses. When Cat and Jen saw what Billie was laughing at, they too joined into the fun.

Fred was getting angry. "What the hell is so funny!" he demanded.

"C'mere, Fred." Billie said, taking his hand and leading him over to the nearest water puddle. "Look." she instructed, pointing down into the water.

Fred took a long look and then turned to the women. "Just call me Rocky Raccoon!" he joked, causing all four of them to break down once more.

Finally, after regaining control of their laughter, Billie looked around at the other drowned rats before her and said, "What do you say we call it quits a day early and head home?"

Within an hour, they had managed to break down camp and shove everything into the two vehicles. It didn't matter that everything was soaking wet... it didn't matter that a layer of mud covered everything.

They were going home.

**********

DEJA VU - NOT!!!....

Cat and Billie were sitting at the kitchen table, eating, and enjoying each other's company, when suddenly, the door opened and Jen popped in. "'Morning, Ladies." she said cheerfully as she helped herself to a cup of coffee and then set up a new pot to brew. Cat and Billie looked at each other, smiling at how their friend made herself at home.

"Good Morning, Jen." Billie said.

"Want some breakfast?" offered Cat.

"No... just ate." Jen replied, reaching over to steal a piece of bacon off Cat's plate and dropping a kiss on her cheek. Circling around Billie, she deposited a kiss on her cheek as well, then sat down between the pair, stealing a piece of toast from Billie's plate.

"Sure you don't want to eat, Jen?" Billie asked, smirking.

"No... Really... I just ate." she replied, happily chewing on the toast. "What are you two up to today?" Jen asked.

Billie and Cat looked at each other. "Don't know." Cat said shrugging. "Haven't really thought much about it."

Jen looked over at Billie who also shrugged.

"Boy, you two are a bundle of enthusiasm today!" their friend teased.

"What are you doing today?" asked Cat.

Billie placed her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand. "Yeah, what are you doing today, Jen?" she aped.

Jean grinned and said, "Same thing you are... Don't know!"

"Boy are we in a rut, or what?" asked Cat.

"What's Fred doing today?" Billie asked.

The three women looked at each other and grinned. "Don't know!" they all exclaimed together, laughing.

"Hey, I've got a thought!" Jen said. "Since we're all doing the same thing, why don't we do it together?"

"Cool!" Cat said.

"Go for it!" piped in Billie.

Just then, the back door opened and in popped Fred, followed by Stevie and Karissa.

"The kids are upstairs getting dressed, Sweeties... go on ahead." Cat said to the children. Stevie and Karissa immediately took off into the living room as Fred helped himself to a cup of coffee.

"'Morning." he said to everyone. "What's up?"

"Don't know!" all three woman said at once, dissolving into laughter once again.

Fred just looked at the three of them as though they were nuts. Looking into his coffee cup, he said, "Okay, what did you put in the coffee?"

"Have a seat, Fred." Billie said as she pushed a chair out with her foot. Fred accepted the invitation and joined the women at the table.

"So, really... What's up?" he asked.

"We were all just sitting here discussing how exciting our lives are these days." Cat said.

"Boring is more the word for it!" Jen piped in. "We really need to do something to get out of this rut." she added.

"What do you mean boring?" Fred said.

"What do I mean?" Jen exclaimed. "Hell, Fred, it's Saturday night and none of us has a date!" she said pointedly.

"Huh?" came the reply from the confused man.

Jen got up to fetch the coffee pot for refills all around. Coming around behind her husband, she filled his cup then leaned in to kiss him on the head. "Sometimes you are so dense, Fred. Why do I keep you around?" she complained, putting the pot back onto the hot plate.

"'Cause you can't resist by good looks and charm?" he asked, grinning.

"Oh Pullease!" Jen groaned. "Look," she said. "Here we are, four healthy adults, five healthy children, and what are we doing? Sitting around pulling lint our of our belly buttons! Geesh... how boring! We need some excitement in our lives." she shouted as she sat back down next to Billie.

Billie looked at Cat... Cat looked at Billie. A silent look of understanding passed between the women. Suddenly, Billie reached forward and lifted the half a grapefruit from her plate and shoved it in Jen's face, twisting it back and forth, and letting it fall from her face onto the table.

Jen sat there, astonishment written all over her face, grapefruit pulp hanging from her nose.

Fred's eyes bulged out of his head as he looked at his wife and friends.

Cat tried her hardest not to laugh, covering her mouth with her hands.

Billie leaned in to Jen. "Now, tell me Jen... was that exciting enough for you?" she asked.

"Oh yeah.... Oh yeah!" Jen exclaimed, bobbing her head up and down and causing the grapefruit pulp to jiggle around. "So I guess this means no more camping trips, huh?" she added, reaching for a napkin to clean off her face.

The look on Billie's face said it all.

"Okay... I can take a hint... no more camping trips!" Jen said. "What would you say to a cruise... or a trip to Disney Land.... or... or....", Jen hesitated as Billie started to rise to her feet, a look of pure evil on her face. "Billie, I don't like that look on your face... Billie! Billie, I'm warning you...", Jen said, as she too rose to her feet. Being closer to the door, she managed to escape from the house before Billie could reach her. Clearing the porch steps in one jump, she was off and running across the yard, trying to escape the mad woman who was nipping at her heels.

Cat stood to watch the race across the back yard, cringing when Billie made the defensive tackle. Returning to her seat, she gave Fred a sympathetic look and said, "Well, Fred, what are you planning for today?"

"Don't know!" he replied. "...you?"

"Don't know!" Cat answered, sending them both into peals of laughter.

THE END